Jeseth Cloak
Jan 9th, 2002, 05:17:35 AM
When I started RPing, I fell in love with the SWFans.net community. It was a quiet beginning for me and for my character Jeseth Cloak, a Jedi Padawan. It was the beginning of a long and winding story that would seem to have no definitive end in sight. Everyone else seemed so powerful to me then, and I was naïve; I let myself become immersed in another world, and I felt my character’s fear and respect for the established individuals who built the world up from scratch. Even then I was quite arrogant and managed to aggravate people easily. I’ve always gotten my kicks out of being needlessly malicious, and using my character gave me a perfect outlet.
It didn’t take long before I explored the Dark Side with Jeseth, and then eventually turned the character completely. All the groups then seemed to be unique to me. The Greater Jedi Order: wise and long standing, widely revered for its resolve and honor. The Sith Empire: Chaotic and powerful, ruled by a vicious and malevolent ring of Sith. The Sith Order: An elegant and formal group, silent but deadly in their methodology and manners - and finally, the Rogue Sith Order: A group of elite Sith that were the scourge of the community at the time. Things could have gone drastically different based on the choices I made. For a week I wavered in my consideration of joining The Sith Empire. I had hopes of some day attempting membership into the Rogue Sith Order, but how did a former Jedi Padawan attain the status to do that?
Several Jedi attempted to talk me into staying with the Light, and because I had an insatiable curiosity about history, I listened closely to each of them, asking them questions. I pursued my desire to learn within RPs as well, going to the council chambers of The Sith Empire and daring to set foot before Rama Sha to ask him of The Sith Empire’s origins. I was turned away, receiving hardly a fragment of the knowledge I had hoped to come away with. I was fortunate that Rama did not choose to end my characters ventures there and then.
The Sith interested me much more than the Jedi at the time because they had such a rapidly changing history that I realized I would have to act quickly if I was to ever piece together the complete story of how they had come to be, IC and OOC. It was around this time that my questioning led me to The Sith Order. They were quiet, very tight knit, and for the most part a medium between The Sith Empire and the Rogue Sith Order. They talked to me, and after a single night of exploring their forums, I decided I felt at home there.
It was a big thing for me to venture outside of the Greater Jedi Order forums. The sheer size and volume of the community was daunting, and I was astounded that anyone could post as much as Nupraptor did at the time. He was virtually in every forum at every time. It was hard for me to keep up with even one thread, much less hundreds...
My training was a slow and unsteady trial. As a Jedi when I was brought in I was to have originally trained under Warren Azalin, but due to Morgan Evanar and Nupraptor convincing me to train with them instead, I chose to wait patiently for their availability. Nupraptor soon became much too busy to continue training me, and so I was passed to Morgan Evanar. He too could not continue my training after several days, and so I was passed to Jedi Boricua… by then it was too late.
Jeseth had become too unruly and chaotic a character to turn him over to the Jedi. One day walking home in the rain I decided that The Sith Empire was not going to be the place for me, and had that decision been any different who knows where Jeseth Cloak would be now. I had ruled out the Greater Jedi Order, and The Sith Empire, so I was left with two options: The Sith Order, or the Rogue Sith Order. I chose.
Once I had joined The Sith Order, I found that my Jedi ties became a hindrance. Jeseth was at heart someone who desired to learn of the Dark Side, but still believed it could be used for good. Darth Tholuem took him as an apprentice and broke him of most of those ideals… the deciding instance for Jeseth came when he was caught in a romantic relationship with Fire Hazzard, a Jedi Knight. He turned his saber upon her and aided in her capture, and it weighed heavily on his conscious for some time to come.
There were many threads I involved myself in at the time, but the one that stands out most was my meeting with Darth Rane. We matched against each other as part of a training session, and came to become much better acquainted as a result of it. The two of us discussed several venues for our characters, and decided that the Sith had had their time. It was an age for a new group and a new breed of character to show up: Dark Jedi. Most people constantly argued about what a Dark Jedi truly was, but our definition was quite broad, and using what information we collected from EU, we pieced together a new group: The Black Hand.
Jeseth saw this group as a way to prove to the Greater Jedi Order that the Dark Side could be used to restore balance to the galaxy. His intentions were pure. If destruction and chaos would need to be used to restore order, then so be it; they would make better tools than peace and pacifism. Rane however did not fully share Jeseth views, and so The Black Hand did not evolve into a group of Jedi-minded Dark Siders. Jeseth fell into a state of depression, turning to a Jedi Padawan named Leeloo Mina. He fell in love with her, choosing to ignore the road to hell which he had paved with his good intentions.
The Black Hand became a destructive force in the galaxy, and the Dark Jedi of the modern SW universe fell pray to the same influences that affected those of the Old Republic. It was only a matter of time before Leeloo, unable to maintain a relationship with a twisted and misguided Dark Jedi, left Jeseth. He was forced to face the reality behind his dreams, and in one last ditch attempt to regain all that which he had lost, he choose to forfeit his life to save that of Jedi Cadet. She had come to deter him from his suicidal challenge against the Dark Side, and in effect only gave him an avenue to end his life.
Hobgoblin revived the Jedi, but the Dark Side took its price. Jeseth was stripped of his health, of his good heart, and became a true servant of the dark. Deluded and twisted… he finally became a true Dark Jedi and returned to his home on Vjun. He has been there ever since.
Those were different times then, and even though there were some occasional OOC hurt feelings, I could feel the excitement and the joy of living the role of a tragic villain. Now I look at the new bloods and envy them for what they still have ahead of them: A beginning free of complications, politics, and misunderstandings. If I could go back to the beginning and do it all over again, I really have to wonder if I would do anything differently. I made some stupid mistakes in my time RPing, and even now I find myself regretting them on occasion… but I still really have to wonder if I would want to have things turn out any differently.
I’ve made some friends that I’m not likely to ever forget, and even some enemies that I’ve yet to come to terms with… I can only thank every single one of them for making my life all the more interesting, even if I find myself on occasion wanting to strangle one or more of them!
It didn’t take long before I explored the Dark Side with Jeseth, and then eventually turned the character completely. All the groups then seemed to be unique to me. The Greater Jedi Order: wise and long standing, widely revered for its resolve and honor. The Sith Empire: Chaotic and powerful, ruled by a vicious and malevolent ring of Sith. The Sith Order: An elegant and formal group, silent but deadly in their methodology and manners - and finally, the Rogue Sith Order: A group of elite Sith that were the scourge of the community at the time. Things could have gone drastically different based on the choices I made. For a week I wavered in my consideration of joining The Sith Empire. I had hopes of some day attempting membership into the Rogue Sith Order, but how did a former Jedi Padawan attain the status to do that?
Several Jedi attempted to talk me into staying with the Light, and because I had an insatiable curiosity about history, I listened closely to each of them, asking them questions. I pursued my desire to learn within RPs as well, going to the council chambers of The Sith Empire and daring to set foot before Rama Sha to ask him of The Sith Empire’s origins. I was turned away, receiving hardly a fragment of the knowledge I had hoped to come away with. I was fortunate that Rama did not choose to end my characters ventures there and then.
The Sith interested me much more than the Jedi at the time because they had such a rapidly changing history that I realized I would have to act quickly if I was to ever piece together the complete story of how they had come to be, IC and OOC. It was around this time that my questioning led me to The Sith Order. They were quiet, very tight knit, and for the most part a medium between The Sith Empire and the Rogue Sith Order. They talked to me, and after a single night of exploring their forums, I decided I felt at home there.
It was a big thing for me to venture outside of the Greater Jedi Order forums. The sheer size and volume of the community was daunting, and I was astounded that anyone could post as much as Nupraptor did at the time. He was virtually in every forum at every time. It was hard for me to keep up with even one thread, much less hundreds...
My training was a slow and unsteady trial. As a Jedi when I was brought in I was to have originally trained under Warren Azalin, but due to Morgan Evanar and Nupraptor convincing me to train with them instead, I chose to wait patiently for their availability. Nupraptor soon became much too busy to continue training me, and so I was passed to Morgan Evanar. He too could not continue my training after several days, and so I was passed to Jedi Boricua… by then it was too late.
Jeseth had become too unruly and chaotic a character to turn him over to the Jedi. One day walking home in the rain I decided that The Sith Empire was not going to be the place for me, and had that decision been any different who knows where Jeseth Cloak would be now. I had ruled out the Greater Jedi Order, and The Sith Empire, so I was left with two options: The Sith Order, or the Rogue Sith Order. I chose.
Once I had joined The Sith Order, I found that my Jedi ties became a hindrance. Jeseth was at heart someone who desired to learn of the Dark Side, but still believed it could be used for good. Darth Tholuem took him as an apprentice and broke him of most of those ideals… the deciding instance for Jeseth came when he was caught in a romantic relationship with Fire Hazzard, a Jedi Knight. He turned his saber upon her and aided in her capture, and it weighed heavily on his conscious for some time to come.
There were many threads I involved myself in at the time, but the one that stands out most was my meeting with Darth Rane. We matched against each other as part of a training session, and came to become much better acquainted as a result of it. The two of us discussed several venues for our characters, and decided that the Sith had had their time. It was an age for a new group and a new breed of character to show up: Dark Jedi. Most people constantly argued about what a Dark Jedi truly was, but our definition was quite broad, and using what information we collected from EU, we pieced together a new group: The Black Hand.
Jeseth saw this group as a way to prove to the Greater Jedi Order that the Dark Side could be used to restore balance to the galaxy. His intentions were pure. If destruction and chaos would need to be used to restore order, then so be it; they would make better tools than peace and pacifism. Rane however did not fully share Jeseth views, and so The Black Hand did not evolve into a group of Jedi-minded Dark Siders. Jeseth fell into a state of depression, turning to a Jedi Padawan named Leeloo Mina. He fell in love with her, choosing to ignore the road to hell which he had paved with his good intentions.
The Black Hand became a destructive force in the galaxy, and the Dark Jedi of the modern SW universe fell pray to the same influences that affected those of the Old Republic. It was only a matter of time before Leeloo, unable to maintain a relationship with a twisted and misguided Dark Jedi, left Jeseth. He was forced to face the reality behind his dreams, and in one last ditch attempt to regain all that which he had lost, he choose to forfeit his life to save that of Jedi Cadet. She had come to deter him from his suicidal challenge against the Dark Side, and in effect only gave him an avenue to end his life.
Hobgoblin revived the Jedi, but the Dark Side took its price. Jeseth was stripped of his health, of his good heart, and became a true servant of the dark. Deluded and twisted… he finally became a true Dark Jedi and returned to his home on Vjun. He has been there ever since.
Those were different times then, and even though there were some occasional OOC hurt feelings, I could feel the excitement and the joy of living the role of a tragic villain. Now I look at the new bloods and envy them for what they still have ahead of them: A beginning free of complications, politics, and misunderstandings. If I could go back to the beginning and do it all over again, I really have to wonder if I would do anything differently. I made some stupid mistakes in my time RPing, and even now I find myself regretting them on occasion… but I still really have to wonder if I would want to have things turn out any differently.
I’ve made some friends that I’m not likely to ever forget, and even some enemies that I’ve yet to come to terms with… I can only thank every single one of them for making my life all the more interesting, even if I find myself on occasion wanting to strangle one or more of them!