Mulholland Drive: the WORST movie of the year

[JonathanLB]

My dad took me to see Mulholland Drive Sunday, supposedly this great independent film that just got nominated for a Golden Globe for best picture (drama).

Well, I was not exactly expecting anything amazing, but this film SUCKS. Talk about a lousy independent movie. This is the reason I only watch major Hollywood films most of the time. Quite simply put, there is a REASON WHY major studios release mostly quality films! They do not put $30 to $100 million into lousy movies on purpose. Sure, sometimes a movie turns out godawful and ends up sucking and everyone hates it, but the intent is at least good. They obviously probably DID look at the script for Mulholland Drive and think the exact same thing I did: what a mess! What a useless, moronic, illogical piece of dung!

I am tempted to say I have never in my entire life seen a worse movie than this. Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels was the previous worst film ever made and may as well be a foreign language film as it is totally impossible to understand what anyone says. Now that film sucked, but it was at least better than Mulholland Dumb. Rushmore, there is another absolutely terrible film that does compete in idiocy and pointlessness with Drive, but even then I am not so sure it was THIS bad. Event Horizon, terrible, Devil's Advocate, a porno flick basically, one of the worst films ever.

I don't know where Mulholland stands as far as the all time worst because I've not seen every movie ever made, but it is definitely in my top five. I think I would even call it the single worst film I have ever seen.

It is a total mess. There is no plot at all, scenes are thrown in yet serve absolutely no purpose, there is no theme, point, argument, opinion expressed, idea, or anything in this movie. It is TERRIBLE. TERRIBLE. I really want to see a major blockbuster, i.e. LOTR, win best picture just to avoid having one of these LOUSY little independent movies win.

There is a REASON why these STUPID films never make any money: THEY SUCK! Mainstream movies make money because most of them are AT LEAST ENJOYABLE even if they have corny dialogue and lousy teen actors, at least they are SOMEWHAT watchable!!!

I have only made two short films and both were better than Mulholland Drive. At least MY films were funny (unintentionally) and made some sense! That is more than can be said of this godawful waste of life.

F-. No stars. 1/100.

It gets 1 point because the musical score was actually quite good and a bit creepy, so props to the composer but that is it. The writer and director (the same person) is a total idiot. I hope he is barred from ever sucking life out of more people again through his hackneyed filmmaking.

I have just wasted a good portion of my Sunday. Please, please do not make the same mistake or you WILL be sorry. Do not believe the Oscar or awards hype, do not jump on the bandwagon, just let that bandwagon pass, unless you want to take a few potshots at it on its way by, but do not jump on the bandwagon! lol.

I have a 24-hour rule: within 24 hours of seeing a really, really terrible movie I have to see some other film or be ruined for life. I'm seeing LOTR again Monday night I think, and before that I'll see something else!

[CMJ]

The film was actually shot several years ago and was meant to be the pilot for a TV series. It wasn't picked up. Even though you trashed it Jon, I still wanna see it. Afterall our tastes don't always line up. ;)

[JonathanLB]

Well that explains a lot, but of course not even a lousy TV STATION would want something that horrible playing on the air. Hahaha, man that is sorry.

Yeah our tastes may not always be the same, but we both love Star Wars, we both loved AI, both loved Memento, and I assume you like LOTR too (haven't talked to anyone who doesn't like it, though, except one girl who called it "ok"). So, go see it for sure, tell me what you think, but you are truly just going to be wasting your time.

I never would expect you to believe just me, but man this film is bad. I wish someone would have warned me it was this terrible.

[CMJ]

I'm flying to see my folks tommorrow. We're probably gonna see FELLOWSHIP OF THE RINGS tommorrow night...then MAJESTIC on X-mas day. I'll probably post my thoughts soon enough. :) I love this time of year!

[Master Yoghurt]

Allmost certainly would not see a move based on a Golden Globe nomination. Basically, I dont have much respect for Golden Globe and the Oscars. Reviews and recommendations from others is what counts for me.

However, I took a quick look at IMDB, and found to my amusement it is rated at 8.4
http://us.imdb.com/Title?0166924

And this how one of their users commented:



Hitchcock would be proud of this movie. Even when nothing happens, it is suspenseful. Director David Lynch overuses a few cheap thrill tricks here and there, but he intersperses them with other cinematographic techniques to keep it from becoming obtuse.

Altogether surreal, this movie is like waking up and remembering most of a dream but not enough to make it sensible. I am still trying to figure it all out and will probably have to see it again to catch things I missed and which may help me understand it better. It is a very detailed plot that very slowly comes together, so you must be patient and pay attention. Get your bathroom trip out of the way before it starts. And yet, the plot is overshadowed by the theme, the mood, the character development, and the filming techniques.

The dual roles of the main actress, Naomi Watts, showcase her enormous talent. That is, when I could get my eyes off of her co-star. What an acting pair.

Lynch surprises throughout the movie with unusual camera angles, the length/timing of editing cuts, jumping back and forth between scenes. Combined with smart use of music and sounds, it all helps to build suspense in our minds, doubtless a major objective of the director. Well, he kept me on the edge of my seat, even had me talking to the actors to be careful here, and not be so naive there. You know, the kind of stuff you want to smack your kids for doing at the movies.

It is interesting to see how much two reviews could be in contrast. :lol

Btw, for worst possible movie, check out "Plan 9 From Outer Space". Turkey of the century. In fact, it is so bad it is good! Prepare for a good laugh. :D

It is about some aliens who want to take over Earth by raising our dead using 'electrode guns.' A few people die, start coming back alive, people start seeing flying saucers, police investigate and kill aliens via flaming flying saucer. It came out in theaters in 1957, is 79 minutes long, and was made on an extremely small budget. It starred many bad actors, one of who (Bela Lugosi) inconveniently died after only two days of shooting. The dialogue is terrible, the acting is horrific, the special effects are far from 'special,' the plot is awful.

Here are some 'memorable' quotes:

"Your stupid minds! Stupid, stupid!"

"Visits? That would imply visitors!"

"Inspector Clay is dead..murdered..and somebody is responsible."

"The saucers are up there, and the cemetary is out there. But I'll be locked up in there."

And for a look at *some* of the many bloopers, check out: http://www.angelfire.com/il/dauber/PLAN-9.html

[JonathanLB]

Well you said it yourself, it is so bad it is actually funny.

That describes Godzilla 2000, which is definitely one of the lousiest movies I have ever seen. Yes, I COULD DO BETTER! I have done better. It is terrible. It is just absolute garbage with awful dialogue that is even funnier because of course it is all dubbed. However, I had so much fun laughing at that movie with a friend of mine that I cannot say it was one of the total worst movies ever because at least it was entertaining.

We both knew how much it sucked obviously and I leaned over and said, "This is the best movie EVER!" and he just started cracking up. I think the best line HAS to be, "Well I guess there is a little Godzilla in all of us," and the way he says it with that hokey Japanese accent just knocked me to the floor in laughter! LOL.

That one review of Mulholland Drive that you posted there reminds me of why it sucked so hard. As that guy clearly said, there is no discernable point to the movie, "You have to go back and see it again" or whatever. Ok, my dad saw it TWICE, yes, that was the second time he was going to see it with me. He said it still didn't really make any more sense the second time. He was trying to explain some of it, not as much to me but just outloud to himself, and I was like, "Well then how do you explain so and so?" He is like, "Well I don't know," as he laughed.

There is SO MUCH in that movie that has no apparent purpose at all. I think that is really it, LOL, it is like a dream without making any sense at all. If you are into a movie that is totally trash and makes no sense, go see this, but if you want a coherent plot with acts, with a climax, and with a real script, don't see it.

I liked the "mood" they created in Mulholland Drive, I thought the two actresses were actually quite good, and I liked the musical score, but if it is all in service of nothing I will still trash the film in my ratings because that all is pointless without a coherent plot.

The turning point, mark my words, is the lesbian love scene. Now that is definitely when I started thinking, "Ok, ok, now I remember that I AM seeing an independent movie here, and yes this is starting to suck." It was at about 2 stars at the time, I was like, "Ok I am trusting the filmmakers to make this whole mess make sense just like Memento and Vanilla Sky made perfect sense by the end, I am sure this will too especially given the great reception the film has had." Well, the filmmakers totally violated my trust. I placed it in this David Lynch or whatever, and he violated it totally by not delivering anything.

Bah, waste of my time.

[foxdvd]

I did not think it was that bad...David has done better movies by far, like Dune, Blue Velvet and The Straight Story, but I would not call this one of the worst movies of all time. (That title still goes to the Judas Project.)

I would give it a B- I guess...maybe a C+...not worth watching in theaters, and not even a rental, but if it is on HBO some time check it out....

[Jedi Master Carr]

Yeah Plan 9 is really bad, but I disagree about Lugosi, was not a bad actor he had just had a huge career drop mostly from being typecast since Dracula, he is one of the best horror actors ever and was great at delivering lines. He was forced to do the movie only because he despertaly needed work and had become an opium actict which didn't help any. The worst part about the thing is after he died, Wood hired somebody who didn't even look like Lugosi at all and it is very noticable in the film.

[JonathanLB]

I am amazed you tolerated Mulholland Drive. It is just godawful. What was that director/writer THINKING?! If he has done other strong movies, what happened?!?!?!

I still think Mulholland Drive is one of the worst films around, but Rushmore is pretty darn painful too, 3000 Miles to Graceland is TERRIBLE and unbearable...

I think if I was subjected to watching 3000 Miles to Graceland all day for 24 hours without being able to sleep, I would go clinically insane.

If I had to listen to that STUPID, GODAWFUL, HORRID song, "Hey Baby" or whatever it may be called for even 12 hours, I think at the end of the first hour I would want to hang myself or shoot myself, whichever was most convenient. I turn my radio off every time that sucker comes up, but I swear if for some reason the batteries on the remote didn't work and I couldn't turn it off for some reason through the manual power, I would take a baseball bat and beat my radio until it no longer had the capability of playing that stupid f-ing song. I have never heard a worse piece of pop garbage in my entire life. I thought that Aguilera song that went with Moulin Rouge was terrible! I turned the radio off on that one, but I never felt like harming myself just to avoid having to listen to it! I honestly feel that way about "Hey Baby" or whatever the FRICK that stupid song is called.

Now "Whenever, Wherever," THAT is a song. Best song on the radio right now among the new ones, I think ;) My sister hates it... lol.

[Mu Satach]

You've convinced me Jon...

:: buys ticket for Mulholand Drive ::

:D

j/k... I want to see this one for a study that I'm doing of Lynch's work. He always achieved the most interesing colors on screen and the way he sets up the ordinary events is interesting. My lists also includes Lost Highway and A Staight Story... whether I see this in the theater or not is a moot point though.

[Hector Lien]

How to make an American Quilt is the worst film ever. No arguments. It just is.

[CMJ]

...AND I must say I really enjoyed it. The first 2 thirds especially were creepy, quirky, and dark(and yet mostly sensible). This film has a super cool style I thought(props to Lynch). At about the 1 hour and 50 mark the film took a decidedly surrealistic turn and I have to admit the last 35 minutes or so I glanced at my watch more than once.

Nontheless I found the film for the most part to be REALLY good(bordering on great throughout most of it). Naomi Watts was outstanding...and the score was terrific. It's definitely a director's film if I've ever seen one, so I can understand why Lynch got his nomination(even if I personally wouldn't have nominated him).

[JonathanLB]

SUCKED, SUCKS, always WILL SUCK!

[ReaperFett]

Hey John, you mean that "Hey Baby" that goes "Hey baby, oof ahh, I wanna know if you'll be my girl"? Because if yes, please destroy all copies of anything containing it :)

[JonathanLB]

But this one I am talking about is by this girl and is just SUPER obnoxious. What just really kills me is that it kept getting voted in the top ten songs for each day when I was back home at my radio station (the one I listen to that is).

I mean, come on, people are not that stupid are they?!?! It's just so annoying, I mean, it's amazing the power of music.

I have before been sitting kind of depressed and through music alone I was able to reverse my thinking and sort of put myself back together, you know, lift my spirits a bit. Then when I hear a song I really hate even if I am in the best mood and got ten hours of sleep the night before, couldn't be doing better, I turn violent and start wanting to destroy my radio!!! I mean, there is nothing quite like great music, then there is nothing quite as torturous and horrible and awful and terrible as really bad teenie bopper crap! It makes you want to shoot yourself so that at least you don't have to hear it ever again!

If I had to choose between living the rest of my life listening to that song over and over or having my brains blown out right now, I would definitely just want to end it now. I'd like the musicians to know that too, the pain, agony, and suffering they have caused me is irreparable. I think you should be able to sue musicians for putting together such a lousy song. LOL.

[ReturnOfTheCB]

It's probably the new one by No Doubt then....I kinda like that song though.....the video is hilarious...

[JonathanLB]

No doubt that is it. I mean, No Doubt, that is it! ;)

[CMJ]

I KNOW you disagree Jon, but I still understand and respect your reaction to the film. :) It definitely wasn't a film for everybody.... I think I've been exposed more to surrealistic films that you(from school). I'm not saying that it was the best film of 2001(far from it), but I can see why certain people enjoyed it immensley.

[JonathanLB]

CMJ, I want to give you a little challenge here and in so doing, I think you'll help out my new Website.

Can you make me a list of, say, 20 films that are NOT on the AFI top 100 (because I'm seeing all these anyway) that are a bit offbeat that you think I should see? Hopefully things I might like, but obviously you have no way of knowing and it's ok if they are weird films.

I need to review a ton of films and I'm trying to devise efficient ways for seeing a broad spectrum of movies. I was thinking first I am definitely going to see the entire AFI top 100, then working towards the AFI 100 years, 100 laughs, then 100 years, 100 thrills, but that's going to take a long time to see all of that stuff. More than a year no doubt.

I want to have my first list, the AFI top 100, complete within 8 weeks of now, but hopefully about 5. So I'll be seeing 3 films per day every day theoretically, 2 if I have to see other stuff in theaters (and I will some days).

[CMJ]

Hmmm okay Jon...sounds like a GREAT project for your site. I'm glad you have started working on it again. I visited your site awhile ago and it hadn't been touched in awhile.

Give me some time and I'll give you a list. I should be back to yu in a day or so.

[JonathanLB]

Yeah, basically what happened to that last site was a lack of time and effort on my part to make it work. It wasn't my fault specifically, it just wasn't a priority for me so it was never getting the attention that it needed to thrive.

My new site is going to be located at a new address and I'll post an announcement here when it opens hopefully. There, I will post reviews of every new film I see and I'm going to try to see new releases fairly liberally (although I have my limits; Kevin Costner's new film is not one I want to see... I may see it, though, just to give something a bad review early on! Haha).

The domain should be pointing to the right host right now, but the site itself is not up at all. The site will be at http://www.jlbmovies.com. Under the contract I had set up with my designer, it should be done by February 20 (two days), but it will take me at least another five days after that to get all of my own reviews up and then make any other changes that have to be completed and all of the other details.

I spent $500 having him build the site, plus I put $1,250 into getting a large newsletter (co-registrations, or basically boxes people have checked saying, "Yes, subscribe me to a movie review newsletter!"). So I have about 65,000 subscribers starting out, which means this time I'll have the audience to make my time really worthwhile. Plus I am very serious about this now as one of my primary objectives, not just something I am sort of doing on the side. This is my #1 focus (with my humor site a very close #2) for the next two months. After that, it'll be divided a bit more I believe but the movie site will get 15 hours per week of my time, at least.

Because I am off from school now, this is essentially going to be my job for a while. Also I'll be working on several more books, but only for maybe two hours per day until I have seen the movie review site through its opening window, then I can switch to maybe four to five hours per day on my writing, down to three hours or so on the movie review site.

So, that's why I'm hoping that I can get reviews up for a lot of classic films or movies that people would like to see in general but maybe have not. Anything is good, but I don't want to waste too much time early on reviewing pointless B movies or seeing more HK action films or anything. At first, I want to start with important movies that you really would expect to see on any review site. Of course, I cannot do this overnight. I think it will take at least six months before I can really look at my review site and say, "Ok, this is really shaping into something now and I've built a strong database of reviews." Even then, I think it will take a year to two years before it is prepared to compete with any larger review sites that have existed, in some cases, for four to five years. I want to work hard enough on my site to thrust it into competition early, though, so no three to four year deal. It should be quite awesome after 18 months.

[CMJ]

If you'd like any help just ask Jon... I know I kinda failed you on reviewing stuff last time, but I'd like to help if I'm needed.

Hmmmmm still working on that list. Would you like just films from the USA or films from other countries as well(I guess what I'm asking is do you mind reading subtitles)?

I know what you mean about kinda letting a project collect some dust. I put my second scipt aside, but I now need to start back up so I can submit it to Nicholls.

Sorry, you don't live in Los Angeles anymore, now that I'm a resident here, I would have enjyed meeting you. Then our film discussions could have really been heated. ;)

[Gurney Devries]

You know, after hearing quite a few positive things about Mulholland Drive, I had a good feeling about it. So I went out and bought in on blind faith.

Am I ever glad.

Mullholland Drive is now on my rather sizable list of favorite movies, and is easily one of the best to come along in years. But then, I obviously have a vastly different taste in movies than you, Mr. LB.
Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels was the previous worst film ever madeI thought Lock, Stock numbers among one of the best comedies ever. You obviously have no appreciation for irony, and the ability to get a laugh without slapstick humor.
Event Horizon, terrible, Devil's Advocate, a porno flick basically, one of the worst films ever.I thought Even Horizon, while not "great" by any standards, was a suspensful and interesting Sci/Fi-Horror flick. And the Devil's Advocate was a terrific delve into the nature of evil in a modern world.
There is no plot at all, scenes are thrown in yet serve absolutely no purpose, there is no theme, point, argument, opinion expressed, idea, or anything in this movie.This kind of argument just shows that you obviously didn't "get" the film. It *has* a plot - quite an intricate one, at that. The rather prominant theme is the blurred line between fantasy, dreams and reality. No, Mulholland Drive does not spoon-feed you its plot: You may even finish the movie without having really understood it. But that's the point: It requires a good deal of thought on the viewer's part. Don't bash a film because you couldn't comprehend it. That's your fault, not the movie's.

I'll tell you this much: At work, Mulholland Drive is *constantly* checked out. We can't seem to keep it on the shelves. People absolutely love the film. Surprisng, really, given that the average joe seems to dislike anything that requires actual thought.
I hope he is barred from ever sucking life out of more people again through his hackneyed filmmakingI hope people like you are barred from ever having a real influence on how movies are made. You seem like you'd be perfectly happy to have a world full of movies like "The One" and "The Scorpion King", totally devoid of the level of creativity it takes to make great movies like "Pi", "Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels" and yes, "Mulholland Drive".

It's one thing to say you didn't *like* a movie. But you seem to think every movie either "rocks" or "is the worst film ever". Really, I've never read anything by a critic with as polar opinions as your's.

As I've stated before: I did not like Fight Club. That doesn't mean that I think it's a bad movie, or that the direction was in any way lacking - I just didn't like it for personal reasons. But it certainly had it's redeeming qualities. You seem unable to say something positive about a movie that you, personally, didn't like. Also, you seem unable to accept the fact that people have different tastes in movies (as much as I joke around with Reaperfett, I've learned to accept that he likes Hong Kong-type action flicks much more than I do - which is fine). This, in my opinion, makes you totally unsuitable to critique movies.

But, then again, I guess you can't make it big in "the biz" unless you have radical opinions and defend them vehemently. Tons of people hate Rush Limbaugh, but he still remains one of the highest paid radio personalities in the business. So, on that note, I wish you well in your career - I'm sure you'll fit right in.

[Charley]

I've actually been waiting forever to see Lock, Stock....it seems to be right up my alley.

[Jedi Master Carr]

I will probably never watch Mulhouland Drive it just looks like a film that would bore me but that is just that it doesn't fit my taste in movies, if anybody else likes it that is cool, its just not for me.

[Sanis Prent]

I've had a few buddies recommend it...so I'll likely catch it this summer.

[JMK]

My brother picked up the DVD for $10 Canadian. That's pretty much free for you Americans! :lol
I'll get my hands on it one of these days. Is there any link betweem Lock, Stock and Snatch, or is it just the same director?

[Gurney Devries]

They're very similar movies, with some very recurring themes and a few of the same actors, but they're completely seperate entities.

[JMK]

Cool, thanks. Just making sure...

[Shawn]

Personally, I liked "Lock, Stock..." better than "Snatch", but I think it has something to do with which one you saw first.

[JonathanLB]

I saw Lock Stock and Two Stupid Filmmakers first and thought it was one of the most painfully awful films I have ever seen, then I loved Snatch.

[CMJ]

I thought "Lock Stock" and "Snatch" were quite similar....but then again to each his own. Sometimes a certain film connects with you...when one very much like it does not.

[JMK]

Yeah, like Ghostbusters and Ghostbusters II. :lol

[NeuroMortis]

DeVries--

We're pretty much on the same page inre: Mulholland Drive.

Having worked in the industry and seen it psychologically hobble the naivety of blind idealism,

Having lived in L.A.,

Having seen the body of Lynch's work, it is by far one of the more subtly harrowing parallels he's put to print.

It was gritty. Really, really gritty.

And the psychological throughline, in all its sordid integrity, was quite sound.

But you're right--it took concentration to view it. To peel back the obvious affront for the more visceral meat underneath...and then, once found, I couldn't shake it off.

So I killed ninety people with a head of lettuce.

That is to say, they all bore one head, and it consisted of cabbage, which I killed.

[Shawn]

btw - I passed up Mulholland Dr. on the way to Magic Mountain yesterday. :) I had LL take a picture of the road sign.

[Morgan Evanar]

I want to seeeee![/highjack]

[Dutchy]

Hehe, I'm reading Gurney Devries' post just now. Good post. :)

[Lilaena De'Ville]

Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels is a great movie. Take English language lessons, LB. :D

Try and find Shooting Fish, another film made in Great Britain, about con artists. Hilariously funny, and I can't seem to find it in a bbuster near me. :(

I must confess that I haven't seen Mullholland Drive, but if its "worse" than LSaTSB, then it must be worthwhile seeing. >D

[Mu Satach]

OK, so Mulholland Dr. has been playing late at night on cable, I set my VCR and nabbed it...

having now watched it 3 times I have only 2 things to say...

Hell hath no furry like a woman scorned.
&
Life is but a dream.

:crack

[Gurney Devries]

Hell hath no furry like a woman scorned.Or myself in Rant Mode. ;)

[JMK]

I like Gurney DeVries in rant mode. It makes me laugh. Re-reading this thread was a hoot. :)