Cold Cigna Campaign: Closer

[Pierce Tondry]

"Been awhile since I've seen a Chandrilan night."

"Been even longer for me, boy. I may have been living with the Republic for nigh on twenty years, but Chandrila's always had just a few too many old faces for it to be safe."

Pierce tore his upward gaze from a cloudless Chandrilan night sky. "You actually were going to kill yourself, weren't you?"

Ivanrue Tondry sighed, an act that his advanced age added dimensions of weariness to. "Boy, one of these days you'll know what it feels like to have finished your tasks, done everything you ever wanted to do, and then suddenly not have anything left to live for."

"I'm glad I caught up with you in that subway tunnel, then."

There was a silence between grandfather and grandson broken only by the blowing of the wind across the hilltop they were relaxing on. It was a comfortable silence, too- after all, there was nothing like finding a pathway out of underground passages with a newly rediscovered relative to make one appreciate the quiet moments in life.

"We'd better start heading back to civilization," Ivanrue Tondry stood slowly, as one might get up from the table after a large meal. "You can tell me about this boy of yours on the way."

"He has a name," Pierce informed the older Tondry. "Jax Ivanrue, partly named after a man I respect."

A smile creased Ivan's age-lined face. "So when is he due?"

Pierce frowned. "Any day now, actually. The mother is in hiding- she'll contact me when Jax is ready. In fact," Pierce paused as a thought occurred to him, "I really hope I don't get back and find a message waiting for me. I have those one or two little things we talked about to organize."

Pierce glanced sidelong at his grandfather, which the older man caught and returned in a gesture so similar, a casual observer would have assumed them relatives.

"Remember Alan," Ivan Tondry warned.

"I'm remembering," Pierce replied, lifting hands in protest. "Least you can do is give me the length of time it'll take us to get back to civilization before you start the drill over."

Ivan smiled again. The two remaining men of the Tondry family continued to leave footprints behind them as they traveled away from the place where they had viewed the Chandrilan stars.

[Lilaena De'Ville]

She sat quietly in the cockpit, restraint webbing fastened loosely around her pregnant profile. De'Ville rested a hand on her stomach, and took in another deep breath, eyes closed, and let it out slowly.

Absently she twisted the ring on her left hand with her thumb and pinky, and then manipulated the controls for the comm system with the Force. A small beep sounded as the recording started.

"Alexander, this is Lily. It's time...or rather, it will be in a few days. I cannot tell the exact timing, but do not wait, because he is coming soon. My ship will transmit coordinates to your comm. Reply as pre-arranged." She cut the recording short, and encrypted it, sending it with a mental push of a button.

Lilaena sat silently, rubbing her enlarged stomach with her right hand. Just a few days left. Maybe not even a few. Her time was soon. She hoped that Pierce would make it in time, but if not, she would go at this alone. Secrecy was a must, as this child had already been sought out by others.

She felt the baby's backbone against her stomach, and pushed at the form inside her, trying to get him into a more comfortable position. He felt like he was too big to get out, and was pressed against her cervix most uncomfortably. De'Ville shifted positions as she waited for a transmission from her husband.

[Pierce Tondry]

The door to the main cabin of Long Shot One, Pierce's personal ship, closed behind Pierce and Ivan as they entered it. "So when do we go back?"

Pierce looked at Ivan. "Eager to get back in the saddle?"

Ivan sighed tiredly- his eyelids flickering shut and giving off that expression of tiredness that Pierce had felt from him earlier. "No, boy. I never wanted to go back to that kind of life. The only reason I'm going back at all is to keep that boy of yours intact. I've been in your rank before, and I know how to use it to keep a person alive."

Pierce bowed his head slightly. When he had started his hunt for Ivan, it had been so vastly important that the man rejoin Intel. If the journey to where they were now hadn't changed him...

A shake of his head dispelled Pierce's doubts. If things were not in place as they had been, there is no guarantee Ivan Tondry would be with him now. That had always been the real goal. Independent of Intelligence work, family was the most important thing.

"Boy?"

"Gramps?"

"You've got a message."

Pierce's eyes fixed on the comm console's remote terminal. He stared at the blinking message indicator. "Lily," he whispered.

"Could be," Ivan said in a voice that was suddenly too casual for Pierce's taste. "Check it out."

Pierce scrambled over to the comm unit and pressed the button. Lilaena's message played itself out and he absorbed every word on the first go through. Then he checked the time.

It had only been an hour since the message had been received.

Unfortunately, that didn't necessarily mean it had been an hour since the original sending. No one could tell time very accurately by computer chronometers unless it was the day after Adjusting Day. Variances inevitably developed between computer time keepers. For better or for worse, Pierce could only reply and hope that he wasn't late.

"Lily," he said, swatting the record button. "It's good to hear your voice. I'll be there as soon as I can- after that, we're getting you to a hospital on Coruscant. Arrangements have already been made, so don't bother trying to weasel out of them. I-" Pierce paused and glanced over at his grandfather, who abruptly made himself look busy. "I love you. Stay well, and be at peace."

[Lilaena De'Ville]

Lilaena had paced the deck for an hour and a half, and then sat down for a light snack. Lately everything had been giving her heartburn, so she only ate when she had to. After her small meal, she had paced for another half an hour, hoping that a transmission would come in to the comm system.

None had.

Three and a quarter hours after her transmission, Lilaena settled into her bed on board the Revenge, her body feeling like it was about to burst. One pillow went under her head, another between her knees, and two more behind her back, while she curled on her side. She was reaching for the blankets with the Force, trying to pull them over her enlarged body without dislodging the pillows, when the comm pinged.

Pillows flew from the bed as she moved, legs swinging out to the floor, bare feet padding on the deck as she waddled to the console across her cabin. De'Ville ran the transmission through the decrypt, and then played it, trying to rest in the desk chair as she listened to Pierce's voice.

"It's good to hear your voice. I'll be there as soon as I can- after that, we're getting you to a hospital on Coruscant. Arrangements have already been made, so don't bother trying to weasel out of them. I... ...I love you. Stay well, and be at peace."

Be at peace? You try holding in a seven pound baby some time. De'Ville fingered the console, and then shut off the message after it played through once more.

Pierce was on his way. Her heart felt relieved, although the thought of what was coming in the next day or so made her want to hold him right now. And then slap the frell out of him for getting her into this. She made her way back to the bed, getting all the pillows in place again for maximum comfort.

Her left hand traced a pattern on the top of her blankets, and she took a deep breath as the baby squirmed. Hurry Pierce. After a few minutes she dropped off into a nightmarish sleep.

When Lilaena awoke six hours later, she didn't feel rested at all. She began moving slowly, dragging her arm to the nightstand and pulling a fuzzy holo towards her. As her eyes cleared the holo sharpened, coming into complete focus. Pierce stood there in his suit, and she was looking at him, a white dress clinging to her curves. It was the only holo of their wedding.

De'Ville set the holo down, and clambered out of her bunk, making for the refresher. After a sonic shower she would feel better. Maybe. After all, there wasn't much a shower could do about the pressure in her midsection.

Halfway through her cycle in the 'fresher, a proximity alert sounded. De'Ville cursed, banging the door open as the refresher alarm beeped at her, and stumbling for a robe as the Revenge went into the preprogrammed countermeasures. The gravity compensators overreacted as the Infiltrator spun away from the unknown ship, and she managed to catch herself with the desk before she fell to the deck.

Moving quicker than she had in weeks, Lilaena made it to the cockpit, and got a read on the ship approaching. Frell, its Pierce! "No, no no!" She cut the power to the aft turrets, and managed to stop the ship from firing on her husband. The Revenge shuddered and then sat dead in space.

De'Ville flicked the comm, "Alexander? Is that you?"

[Pierce Tondry]

"Lily," Pierce responded tensely. "Your ship wasn't powering its' weapons just now, was it?"

"It was automatic," she replied, her breathing somewhat heavy. "Just in case someone ran across me."

"Ah." The tension was not gone from his voice. "You may want to rely on pure stealth next time. This ship has an auto-fireback feature that targets the weaponry of whatever fires at it. At this close range, the ship's extended-range turbolasers would melt your ship to slag."

"I don't want another pregnancy," Lilaena responded, trying to relax again. "This one is hard enough."

"I meant the next time we meet in deep space."

"Oh."

"Give me a second and I'll tractor you to my ship's docking port. Then we'll all fly to Coruscant together."

"All of us? You mean me and the baby, right?"

"No, girl, he means the two of us, and the two of you." The voice was old, hard, and had the same edge that sometimes crept into Pierce's voice when he was talking about military plans, Lilaena reflected.

"Who's over there? Who's with you, Pierce?" In her momentary alarm, Lily had forgotten to call him Alexander, Pierce noticed.

"Do you remember how I told you I was looking for someone at Ithor? Well, I found him. Lily, meet my grandfather on my father's side. Ivanrue Mikas Tondry, meet Lilaena- my wife."

There was a silence over the comm channel, then it was broken by the soft bump of two ships locking together. "Come on over," Pierce said, working the controls to pressurize the airlock that Lilaena would need to pass through. "And the two of you can meet each other."

[Lilaena De'Ville]

De'Ville passed through the airlock, and entered Tondry's ship. She took a deep breath, and flushed a little as he hugged her around her huge stomach. "I look terrible, I didn't know I'd be meeting relatives..." Lilaena pulled away slightly, her hand supporting her tummy as an older man stepped away from the opposing bulkhead.

He held out his hand. "It is a pleasure to finally meet you." Lilaena grasped it firmly, surprised at the strength he had in his grip. If this is what I have to look forward to, I'm going to like growing old with Pierce.

Lilaena grimaced slightly and released his hand. "I am ...well I'm not very good company right now. Although its nice to meet you." Pierce brushed some of her hair away from her eyes, and she turned her face towards him, meeting him halfway with a kiss. He looked as good as always. She threaded her arm through his, and leaned against his strong body. It had been so long since they'd seen each other. Six months had come and gone, and he was faced with his wife looking like a swollen dewback. "I need to sit down."

[Pierce Tondry]

"Let's go to the passenger cabin," Pierce said, starting to lead Lilaena along. He lent what support he could to his very pregnant wife as they walked. "It's closest to where we are, anyway. Gramps? Would you mind setting us off for Coruscant?"

Ivan cracked a smile and shook his head. "If you wanted to be alone, why didn't you say so? You young kids don't have to play the 'get rid of the old drill sargeant' game."

Pierce blinked. He hadn't expected his grandfather to read that out of his response, even though there was some of that thinking present. "Hell," Ivan continued as he left for the cockpit. "It's not like I ain't been married myself. Like I don't know what it's like to want time alone with a wife."

"It's not like that, Gramps," he called after the retreating figure. "She's already pregnant!"

Ivan shook one of his hands in a negatory fashion and Lilaena giggled. "Don't you go backing him now," Pierce told her. "Last thing this galaxy needs is Ivan Tondry and a puffed-up ego together at last."

Lilaena rolled her eyes exaggeratedly and Pierce shook his head in defeat as they walked into the passenger cabin, where Lilaena sat down on one of the bunk beds in the wall. "What took you so long?" she asked. "I thought you'd never get here."

Pierce straddled a chair. "Something came up," he said dryly.

"Something always comes up."

"That's my line of work for you. People screw up their lives every day. Anyway, I was starting from Chandrila, but I had to make a stopover at Arcan IV. There's a mission that needs doing, and I needed someone capable to look after it."

"What mission?"

Pierce put a finger to her lips. "Top secret. Can't tell. So how," he said, changing the subject. "Is the baby? Is he okay?"

[Lilaena De'Ville]

Lilaena was absently rubbing her stomach. "He is fine. Active, as always, not doing tap dances on my bladder anymore, but there does not seem to be a lot of room left in there. His rear and feet are taking up most of my lung capacity, and his head - which appears to be as hard as his father's, by the way - his head feels like its between my knees already."

"So, in answer to your question, he is fine, happy, and more than ready to come out. I am tired, sore, and more than ready for him to come out. Except..." Lilaena paused, and leaned back, twisting so she lay down on the bunk. "I cannot seem to get the Force to respond to me normally now." At his look of concern, she added, "It isn't that it's not there, I can feel it, and still use it...mostly. Its when I try to use it on things inside me...like to supress pain...its like..." She sighed. "To tell the truth, I would much rather not do this."

Pierce leaned forward and kissed her on the lips, and she dragged him off his chair until he was sitting next to her on the bunk. "I want to. But I cannot do it without you." When are you going to have to leave again, Pierce? Her heart tugged at her, and she laced her fingers with his.

[Pierce Tondry]

Pierce threaded an arm through hers. "I'll be there," Pierce spoke quietly and seriously. "I said that I won't abandon the two of you, and I will hold to that. But there are big things afoot- Intel is on the brink of ripping in two, and I have to try and get out as many people as I can before Ysanne Isard kills us all."

He rested a hand on Lilaena's abdomen. "Hear that little one?" he said loudly, and with as much love as he could muster. "I have to make the universe a good place for you to grow up in."

There was a bump beneath Pierce's fingers and Lilaena drew a sharp intake of breath. "He kicked," his wife told him, giving him an odd look.

"I felt it," Pierce said. His face fell as he thought of all the times that had happened that he had missed because he'd been forced to take action against Ysanne Isard. His own child and he had already missed part of its' life.

Then he squared his shoulders and returned his gaze to his wife's dark eyes. "And what was that look just now?"

"Look?"

"You're a terrible liar, Lily," Pierce told her. "Out with it."

"It's nothing," she said evasively. "Just something I thought, but am probably wrong about."

"Okay," he shrugged. "I'll weasel it out of you later, then."

The two of them sat in silence for a moment. "Don't worry, Lily," Pierce said with an enthusiasm he did not personally feel. "We've beaten odds before. We'll make it. Together."

[Lilaena De'Ville]

Lilaena sat in silence for a moment, thinking about Isard. "Have you found out if she was behind the attack on Vorzyd?" Her eyes narrowed with anger. "I swear I'll kill her."

Pierce ran the back of his hand down her cheek. "Hush. We'll talk about it later. You should rest." He kissed her gently, and she smiled.

"I'd rather be with you. And your grandfather. I probably don't have a lot of time to get to know him... Before you leave again, that is." She struggled to her feet, leaning heavily as she pushed off his shoulder with her hand. "I - oh!"

She looked down at the floor and took a deep breath as she felt a whoosh of liquid from between her legs. The water pooled on the floor under her. "Pierce... we may not make it to Coruscant ...unless this ship is faster than it looks."

Pierce made a face somewhere between boyish expectation and a grimace, and helped her back to the bed. "Just stay put and try not to have the baby yet." He kissed her forehead, and left the room, shouting up to the cockpit for more speed...or something along those lines.

Lilaena was concentrating within herself, tracking the various impulses and muscle contractions that her water breaking had triggered. It was fascinating, but scary at the same time. Eyes closed, she heard a whirring sound, and opened them to find a cleaning droid in the room, busy with the puddle on the floor.

She grimaced slightly at the droid, and then felt a tightening along her abdomen, slight at first, and then building in intensity. Before too long the pressure eased and went away. That wasn't too bad. De'Ville turned slightly, pushing pillows to make a more comfortable place for her to rest.

[Pierce Tondry]

"God I hope she doesn't go into contractions," Pierce muttered to himself as the door shut behind him. He keyed for the cleaning droid to visit the room and then headed for the cockpit. "The last thing I need is to try and remember my emergency delivery procedures."

He found Ivan sitting in the pilot's chair. "You're in my chair," Pierce accused.

"Yes, and?" Ivan continued what he was doing, which looked like working out a hyperjump.

"And move."

"I can't work out a hyperjump if I move."

Pierce leaned over his grandfather's shoulder and tapped a screen, then keyed in a particular code. Errant lines of computerspeak appeared on the screen, then were promptly cleared and replaced by a message: "Hyperjump ready."

Ivan looked at his grandson. "Before you say anything," Pierce said as he pulled the hyperdrive lever. "Yes, I did key in the shortest possible distance to Coruscant using every navigational trick in the book. I worked it out a long time ago from this very spot- it's our rendezvous point, mine and Lily's. We will be arriving there in approximately one hour and fifteen minutes."

Ivan leaned back in the chair and held up his hands. "Your father taught you a few things."

"If you mean he taught me a few navigational tricks, then yes, he did," Pierce said, plopping into the copilot's chair. "Thorough preparation is something I picked up on my own."

Ivan nodded in thought. "I have to admit, boy, you weren't quite what I expected."

"Is that good or bad?"

Ivan shrugged. "I guess we'll see. I did talk you around, after all, so you can't be but so mixed up in the head."

Pierce shrugged, a gesture that mimicked his grandfather. "Must run in the family," he said. "A Rebel for a grandfather. Tsk, tsk, tsk."

"An Imperial for a grandson," Ivan said. "Tsk, tsk, tsk."

There was a moment's pause, then Ivan burst out laughing. Pierce just shook his head and chuckled at the obvious similarities between two men with distinctly different upbringings.

"Just lean back and relax, Gramps," he said. "We'll be at Coruscant before you know it."

[Lilaena De'Ville]

There was laughter filtering through the ventilation system. Senses hightened as she kept tabs on her body, De'Ville listened to the chrono on the wall tick.

tick

tick

tick

She closed her eyes, breathing deeply, and trying to relax. Five minutes later Pierce slipped back into the room and began to pull a chair up to the side of the bunk. Lilaena opened her eyes.

"No...come here." She held out a hand, and he took it, letting her pull him towards her. "Hold me. I miss you."

Pierce lay next to her, holding her lightly. "We'll be in Coruscant soon. Don't worry."

Lilaena smiled a little, her eyes closed as she tried to concentrate. "I am not worried. At least not too much." Her forehead creased as another, slightly stronger contraction seized her abdomen and lower back. She gritted her teeth, but took Tondry's hand a placed it on the side of her stomach so he could feel the muscles tightening.

After the contraction passed, she blew out a noisy breath. "I can hardly believe it is time." Despite her words, her eyes held traces of worry in them, and she snuggled into her husband's side as best she could, inhaling his scent.

tick

tick

tick

[Pierce Tondry]

"Shush," Pierce said. "Get some rest. I know it's not much, but I'm here."

Lilaena burrowed in closer to Pierce. He cradled his wife in his arms and rocked her gently until her breathing fell into the regular patterns of a sleeper.

Then, Pierce gently disengaged himself from his wife and lay her on the bed. He continued to sit beside her, one hand gently resting on her swollen abdomen.

They were about to have a child.

The enormity of it still hadn't quite sunk in- even now, it was hard to believe that somewhere inside Lilaena's body was a little baby boy named Jax.

Jax.

It was a bit like a dream of a life Pierce had never had- one uncorrupted by war and fighting, by blasters and betrayals. A dream of tidy, yet artistic cottages by a river. There were plenty of windows and a porch with chairs, for afternoon sitting. Somewhere inside, there was a room of pastel blue that contained a crib.

And there would be dogs, and neighbors, and small town gatherings to show off the baby at. They would all grow up together, living the quiet life and being a family.

'Try not to be an idiot,' Pierce thought to himself, giving his lips a bitter twist. 'You work for an intelligence agency, your wife is a Dark Jedi, and if people knew the two of you had a child together, it would be worse than mixing flies and honey.'

In fact... what the hell was he doing here?

Pierce shook his head- he knew he'd gotten where he was somehow. It made no sense to get cold feet and besides- he wasn't prone to reconsider decisions anyway. You did the thinking beforehand, then took the responsibility, not the other way around.

So how could he take responsibility? How could he somehow bridge that gap between the cottage on the river with the pastel room and the realities of his life?

<center>######</center>

When Lilaena woke up, she was alone in the bunk. "Pierce?" she called groggily, worriedly, but there was no answer.

Her fingers fumbled for the intercomm button and managed to press it. "Pierce?" she called again.

There was a few seconds of silence, then a reply. "Lily, you're awake? Good."

"I'm awake," she replied. "Are we there yet?"

"We've been here for about forty minutes, actually," Pierce said. "I conferred with the doctors and they said we shouldn't try to move you until you'd woken up. Less risk to- to little Jax."

"Okay," Lilaena's stomach fluttered slightly. Time was almost up. "I'm ready whenever you are."

"All right. I'll change clothes and put in a call. Then I'll come back to get you."

[Lilaena De'Ville]

Lilaena got her elbows underneath her, and began to sit up. Her contractions had been fairly light up to this point, which is how she had been able to sleep for so long. Either that, or it was just plain exhaustion. Not a good way to start the birthing process.

But she felt more rested now. She was pushing herself up, and getting her legs off the edge of the bed, when another contraction hit. De'Ville sucked in her breath and squeezed her eyes shut as her lower back and abdominals tightened up, and had to force herself to breathe when the pain didn't let up. She gasped, frozen in place.

Should have waited for Pierce to come back. She cursed her independant streak, and managed to keep from falling off the bed by collapsing back onto it.

"They are getting a lot worse. Pierce!" She'd forgotten to activate the comlink, but the elder Tondry quietly opened the doors.

"Lilaena...stay still." He hurried over to her.

She grunted. "Help me get up. There isn't much time.

Ivanrue Tondry frowned, but helped the stubborn woman to her feet. De'Ville felt his old, but strong arms around her, supporting her, and they started for the door. "No chance Pierce got a hoverchair, is there?"

[Pierce Tondry]

"I didn't," Pierce replied from the doorway with a wince. He finished tugging his shirt on and went over to her. "I didn't even think about it. Fortunately, the hospital did. They said they'd have one waiting at the boarding ramp."

Pierce immediately went over to Lilaena's free side. "I'll take over, Gramps," he said.

Something in his eyes must have echoed the worry he felt, because his grandfather moved away and let him take over. Pierce placed his arms under Lilaena's and intertwined his left arm with hers. "It'll be okay, you know," he told her, and gave her hand a squeeze.

Lilaena leaned back into his body, allowing him to take even more of the weight. "I know," she whispered to him.

"Come on," he whispered back. "The boarding ramp isn't far. I'll help."

Together, the two of them went out.

[Lilaena De'Ville]

De'Ville took a few steps with Tondry, and then her knees buckled, as another contraction spasmed across her abdomen. Eyes squeezed shut, Lilaena gritted her teeth and her husband was forced to almost completely support her until the contraction passed.

"C'mon, just a few more steps. I can't have you lying down here and having the baby in the hallyway." Pierce helped her regain forward momentum, and they made it down the ramp, Ivanrue following like a mother hen.

De'Ville groaned as she was settled into the chair at the bottom of the ramp by the male nurse who was waiting. "I hope we're within spitting distance. This kid isn't waiting.. oooh!" Pierce could almost see her tummy tightening as another contraction started. She gasped for breath and grabbed his hand tightly as an orderly started moving the chair forward. There were three people present from the hospital staff...the third one appeared to be a midwife. Hope it isn't...far... Lilaena growled through her gritted teeth as the entourage hurried onwards.

[Pierce Tondry]

Despite all of its' seeming urgency, the contraction did not prove to be the real thing.

Nor the second, nor the third.

After half a day in labor, Lilaena was tired, and Pierce had gone to be by himself.

He was staring out of a window, one revealing a pale blue sky with puffy white clouds. 'Exactly the kind of sky I keep thinking of,' he noted.

He'd tried to be with Lilaena as much as possible, tried to be the kind of husband that existed in his peaceful dream life, but in the end, he needed a break from the constant false starts of labor. She, he suspected, was glad for a small break from her worrywart of a husband. He'd then left Ivan with her and gone down the hall to the nearest scenic window, where he'd been for a good fifteen minutes.

So much for bridging that gap and taking responsibility.

Pierce let those feelings mull before he reasoned them away. There was, in the end, only so much he could do. He would have to accept it.

Something inside Pierce hurt at that thought. At the thought that, try though he might, he could never bring that idyllic life into being. At the thought that the dream was already compromised.

'What about when Jax gets born?' he wondered. 'How much compromising will I do then? Will I be a good father? Can I raise him like my dad raised me? Or like Gramps raised dad?

If staring out a window was useless for solving problems, it was at least good for exercising one's brain. Tiredness washed over the soldier and he leaned against a nearby wall for support.

"Excuse me, sir?"

It was an orderly. "Yes?"

"Your wife's contractions have started again. They're much stronger than before- the doctors think it's the real thing."

Pierce was instantly awake and straightening. "Thank you," he said, already heading for the hospital room.

He could hear Lilaena moaning with effort before he entered the room, and after entering it he realized that she wasn't moaning, but was in fact just short of screaming. "I'm here, Lily," he said immediately, moving to her side. "It's okay. I'm here."

Her hand clutched at his own in a crushing grip, and he had to will it not to break in half. But somehow, despite the pain, it made him feel a little better.

"I'm reading movement," someone in the room said. "He's definitely coming!"

Impulsively, Pierce bent down and cradled his wife. "Jax wants out," he whispered. "He wants to meet his mommy. Don't be afraid, because that's all it is. He just wants to come see you."

[Lilaena De'Ville]

Lilaena gripped Pierce's hand tightly, and bore down with the contraction. She could feel...everything! The pain was unbearable, and the Force seemed to be the furthest thing away from her mind. She screamed, rising up in the bed, and her husband slipped his arms around her, supporting her back as another contraction attacked her.

"I can see the head!" The doctor sounded excited. Lilaena wanted to throw him across the room, but she didn't have time to. Instead she pushed....pushed... "Nnnngaaah!" She gritted her teeth again, and felt sweat on her forehead. Lilaena reached out and grabbed Tondry's neck, gripping the hard muscles where it connected to his shoulder and back. She cried out...and pushed again..too hard maybe...and...nothing.

"Get out of me!" She panted for air, her hair matted around her face, and felt another contraction start quickly. Almost against her will her body tightened up one more time...she was so tired...

"Push! One more... The head is out..."

Tondry leaned forward and looked down, seeing the purpled face of his son emerging. It was perhaps the most disgusting and beautiful thing he'd ever seen. De'Ville shrieked with a last effort, and the baby slipped out into the doctor's hands.

Pierce looked at her as the doctor laid the baby on her stomach to tie the umbillical cord. "He's beautiful." He kissed her on the forehead, and then was instructed by the nurse how to cut the cord. He took the sissors and made the final snip, and then Jax was bundled away to be cleaned up and weighed.

Lilaena was shaking, but was completely distracted from what the doctors were still doing to her. "Where is he? Where's my baby?" Tears of joy and exhaustion started streaming from her eyes, even as the placenta was delievered and disposed of.

"He's right over there." Pierce pointed just out of her range of vision.

"I can't hear him...he isn't crying.."

The nurse massaged her abdomen, getting the uterus to contract back to a more manageable size. De'Ville winced, and snuggled into Pierce's arms as the doctor finished cleaning her up.

A few moments later Jax was laid into her arms, a thatch of dark hair peeking out of a white hospital blanket. Lilaena gasped, a wordless prayer, and pulled away the blanket, revealing the usual ten fingers and ten toes. "He's perfect. Oh...Pierce." The baby looked up at them with wide blue eyes, his little pouty lips slightly apart, as if he was trying to soak in every detail about them already.

Lilaena giggled as he found her breast, and Jax was soon contentedly having his first meal. She looked into Pierce's eyes. "I love you. I can't explain anything anymore...its a miracle."

[Pierce Tondry]

"I know," Pierce said, and smiled. For just a brief moment, wars and spies all faded away. For just a brief moment, there were three people in the entire galaxy- Pierce, Lilaena, and their son, little Jax.

And somewhere inside, Pierce felt a little closer.


######

And the morning light was breaking.
Slowly moving cross the bed.

The sunlight in his eyes caused Pierce to awaken. He was used to getting up with the sun on Chandrila and that habit hadn't changed, despite all the time zones he'd been thrust into.

Pierce looked across the bed at his wife, who was catching up on her rest. Taking care of the baby had been mainly his job while she recovered from the exhausting ordeal of birth, although she had fed the little critter when he was hungry.

'And on the subject of Jax...' Pierce thought.

He gets up without her waking
To the voices in his head.

Through the shadows down the hallway.
To the room they painted blue.

Pierce paused in the doorway of his son's room- the room he'd been painting on the trip up. Over on the left wall was the section he'd left unfinished when he'd had to get Lilaena to the hospital. And of course, the paint color was pastel blue.

In the center of the room was a crib, in the middle of which lay his infant son.

His infant son.

Pierce went to the crib side and stared down at his son, wanting to hold him but at the same time, afraid to drop anything so fragile and beautiful as the little baby boy he'd helped create. Doubts swirled through him, questions surfaced- would he be a good father? Would he raise the boy as well as his own father had raised him? Would Jax be happy? How long could he be kept innocent of all the evils of the galaxy?

And on the inside he is frightened.
He's at a loss for what to do.

Pierce stared at his hands, then shut his eyes in anger. He'd killed people with those hands. He desparately didn't want them to harm his son, didn't want to cause the boy any pain whatsoever. But he did want to love him.

Pierce reopened his eyes- a father's eyes, now- and regarded his son.

Until he opens up his eyes.
And the angels all look down.

Gently, Pierce lifted Jax from the crib. The infant stirred, but did not awaken. Father counted son's fingers and smiled. Then, he poked one of Jax's hands with his index finger. Even in sleep, the hand reflexively closed around it.

And for the second time in four days, Pierce Tondry felt closer.

Even closer than this life.
Closer than your faith.
Closer than the things that you hold dearly and in vain.

Closer than this life.
Falling through again.
Giving more than anything that you could hope to win.

And he knows his life is changing.
It's never easy letting go.
For the first time you are more.
As the child before you grows.

And he wonders at the sight.
Of the joy that they have found.

Even closer than this life.
Closer than your faith.
Closer than the things that you hold dearly and in vain.

Closer than his life.
Falling through again.
Giving more than anything that you could hope to win.

And what did you intend to find?
Solitude? Your peace of mind?
Holding out for something less
Than touching the hand of God?

Even closer than this life.
Closer than your faith.
Closer than the things that you hold dearly and in vain.

Even closer than this life.
Closer, finally.
Living for the only thing you ever made complete.
For the one thing that you both did perfectly.