The Dark Jedi Council [1,000 Posts]

[Jeseth Cloak]

[That's right... if the Jedi can have one of these threads, then why can't we??? Dark Jedi (and all of you other losers) are welcome to post here.]

Jeseth walks in quietly, bumping into someone as he tries to walk through the shadows and to his seat. "Let's all convene for a meeting. I think we have some important issues to discuss."

[Lilaena De'Ville]

*walks in, twenty minutes late* Dang it! Where is everyone! I thought I was going to make a grand entrance!

[Mortaniuss]

The albino's lip curled upward in a cold smile.

"Such as why we're here in the first place? My time, while not as precious as some, is not free."

[Lord Gue]

OOC: everyone can post right? well heres mine
Im sorry, please un-ban me, lol. When I was posting my links around I went to the board and tried and it said I was still banned...

[Mortaniuss]

Crimson eyes snapped to the left, fixing on Gue intently.

"What," the vampyre inquired calmly, "Are you babbling about?"

[Taylor Millard]

Millard walked in taking a seat near the front.

OOC: Yes I know Millard is Imperial. Bear with me here.

IC: All right I'm here. Let's talk. First off, where's that cigar you promised Jeseth? Second off, it better not be flavored. Better be like an Opus X or something.

[Jeseth Cloak]

Jeseth took his eyes off Mortaniuss, cutting himself off in mid-sentence to address Gue. "YOU! You're quite the mad-man to show your face here...." his words trailed off into a hiss, just before he remembered he owed Millard a cigar. He searched his pocket, finding only a sandwhich. Carefully, he wrapped it in duct-tape, and then handed it to him.

"It's... um... hm. It's a new kind of cigar... with a new kind of wrapping...."

[Lilaena De'Ville]

De'Ville raised her eyebrows at Gue, and takes a seat as far from Morty as possible. "So what is this meeting about again? I didn't get the memo."

[Taylor Millard]

Millard stared down at the duct-taped object, then unwrapped the sandwich. It was roast beef and cheese on rye. Looked pretty fresh too.

Taking a bite, Millard leveled his eyes with Jeseth.

"You...owe...me...a...cigar...."

[Mortaniuss]

"Hmph"

(Without another word, Mortaniuss leaned back in the leather chair, content simply to watch, for the time being. What a laugh... mortals were always so intent on ending their short lives these days.)

[Lord Gue]

Hows that? Mad-man, maybe, to you, I know not why?
[I]Evil grin

[Jeseth Cloak]

"We're here to discuss the situation in the Yavin System. There are a lot of Jedi there. Did any of you bother to call the exterminator?"

[Mortaniuss]

"Yes," the vampyre spoke up. "That would be why I'm here, I believe."

[Darth Viscera]

*Walks in ominously. In his mouth is none other than....a cigar, the very same one which Jeseth was to give to the former Admiral.*

"And do you mean....this cigar?"

[Trace Sha]

:: A single eyebrow raised and the black paint under his eye stretched upwards slightly. :;

“We could send them Ron.”

[Taylor Millard]

*Grabs Jeseth by the throat

"You son of a bith! You promised me that cigar!"

*Releases Jeseth, then reaches into his pocket and pulls out a cigar.

"This is why I brought my own. Need a cut or punch Vis? Or are you going to bite the end off?"

[Lilaena De'Ville]

"I would have done something about them long ago, but I had to take my maternity leave." She looked at the duct tape that Taylor was holding and narrowed her eyes. "Um, Jeseth, about that cigar you sent when Jax was born...."

[Mortaniuss]

(If it were possible for the face of an albino to become any more lacking in color, Trace's comment would have done the job nicely.)

[Lilaena De'Ville]

De'Ville gasped, "But who would we send to get Ron? I'm not going! I don't care what you say, I have a lot to live for."

[Lord Gue]

( HA! Ron? HA!!!)

[Jeseth Cloak]

"De'Ville, I never sent a cigar..." Jeseth shakes his head. "That's not the point. We're getting off topic... we need to figure out the quicket way to purify the Yavin System. It's time that you stopped cavorting with the Jedi, Viscera!" Jeseth pointed at him accusingly. "I'm not sure if sending them Ron would be a good idea. We want them to die, not flee to all corners of the galaxy. Then they'd just spread their diseases and filth..."

[Trace Sha]

We could hire that cat thing Ciresseeto and offer him Captain Vriss as a meal in exchange.

:: he turns to Jeseth. ::

Its one thing that may make them become suicidal, especially if he starts following them around.

[Mortaniuss]

|I

[Darth Viscera]

*puts the cigar on a small plate, then takes out a knife and fork and cuts it into bite-sized pieces*

"Why Admiral Millard, I believe I'll have neither."

*Eats the cigar*

"Now then, brother Jeseth. You know very well that I only cavort in Imperial space, or space I believe should very soon become Imperial. This is why I'm invited to so few dinner parties, I think."

[Lilaena De'Ville]

She slams her fist on the table. "Dammit! All this talk is getting us no where! I say we send the fleet into the system and blow up the damn planet! Jedi molecules can't do any more good, right?" De'Ville backs her chair up into a shadow and runs over someone's foot. "Didn't see you there..." :grumble

[Jeseth Cloak]

"Viscera, perhaps we should take everyone out to dinner. I have a lamb waiting back in the ship we can use to get there." He turns to Millard, Trace, and Mortaniuss. "Do any of you know what the Cizerack's comm-frequency is?? Can they even use comm-links?"

[Taylor Millard]

*Jaw drops as he looks at the utter disrespect for the cigar. Then he sniffs.

Oh wait...that was a chocolate cigar. *Looks at wrapper. From Godiva.

Hey De'Ville, I think I found the gift Cloak was suppose to send you for the birth of you kid. And did Tondry ever get the box of cigars I sent?

[Trace Sha]

:: shrugs ::

"Maybe 55shed637hairball29?"

[Dark Lord Dyzm]

OOC: Eh, what ya going to do

Well... First off, still kinda pissed off about that stabing in the back... Second off, if you want to kill the Jedi, the best way is to kill them one by one. No more of this honorable crap where we are equally matched one on one in a fight. We, as followers of the Dark Side of the Force. Note, I didnt say Sith, Dark Jedi, or all other kinds, I say Dark Side Followers, we need to united and utterly destroy them. We could also liberate Yavin 4. Is it not the final resting place of Exar Kun? Is not Yavin 4 a holy place for Dark Side Followers everywhere? Now... pass me some food... Any kind of Food. I'm hungry

[Lilaena De'Ville]

"I hardly think that such an inferior species can manipulate the controls on a commlink. They'd be more likely to uNF it, or eat it. Maybe both."

[Darth Viscera]

Viscera's eyes narrow at De'ville's comment.

"And just whose fleet might you be referring to?"

*Follows Jeseth back to his ship, and tries using the lamb for transportation by sitting on it, kicking it, kicking it harder, apologizing for kicking it and asking it nicely to please accelerate its pace, and then kicking it.*

"Brother Jeseth, it would appear that your lamb is defective. How ever will we get to dinner?"

[Darth Turbogeek]

:: Walks into the Room, takes out a nice new shiey Frying Pan....::

FORCE FRYING PAN!!!

WHAM!!!

:: Lord Gue suddenly finds himself 2 foot shorter::

[Lord Gue]

perhaps they might fling you all away like so many ships in the wind

[Jeseth Cloak]

"DT has come back... after all this time. All to whack Gue with a frying pan." Watches in amazement, then remember something... "Viscera, do you have an IT?"

[Lilaena De'Ville]

Calmly watches as Gue gets flattened. "Jeseth, make your apprentice behave himself, or I'll find someone who will!"

"Doesn't he know that Gue can be made THREE feet shorter? Hit him again!"

[Darth Turbogeek]

:: Points at De'ville::

She did it. She's the one with wind. Ummm yeah.

[Darth Turbogeek]

Hey, I wanna wedgy him too! Make him too short and it's sooooo hard to reach down that far!

[Darth Viscera]

"Why yes I do! You stand on the left side, I'll stand on the right side!"

[Taylor Millard]

LOL

Finally the DT has come BACK to S-W-Fans...


Wait...lemme hit Gue with a Steel Chair first! Then wedgie 'im!

[Jeseth Cloak]

"As long as Tondry doesn't show up with his magnetic sniper-gun." Gets on the IT carefully and drives to run over Gue's foot.

[Lord Gue]

You cant hurt me! Im wearing my cheese helmet!!!

[Lilaena De'Ville]

She frowned, and sniffed. Lilaena's eyes widen, "That wasn't me! DT!"

De'Ville turns to Jeseth, "JESETH! HE FARTED! And it reeks! Lets can that odor up and send that to Yavin." She waves her hand in front of her face.

[Darth Viscera]

*Stands very still so the damn thing will stop swerving. Stupid mind controlled gyroscope. Blah.*

I say, brother Jeseth, perhaps we should run over his foot once more!

[Jeseth Cloak]

"Wait!! I have an idea!" Wafts all the horrible fumes into Trace's TK field. "There. That takes care of that!" Rides the IT around and continues to ram into Gue with it.

[Taylor Millard]

*Walks out of room, waving arm.


Do NOT GO in there!

WHOO!

[Darth Viscera]

*Bashes Gue on the head with the now-unconscious lamb*

[Trace Sha]

:x

:: simply dies and the TK Field does too ::

[Jeseth Cloak]

Abbandones Viscera on the it, which swirves out of control, and jumps on Gue, trying to ride him out of the room before he, too, dies.

[Lilaena De'Ville]

:lol Tondry was just showing me that magnetic sniper gun the other day. No, wait, that wasn't it.... *daydreams, EFG on her face*

[Taylor Millard]

*Looks at De'Ville

HEY! Do that on your own time! We're here to figure out how to defeat Jedi...Right?

No...wait...we're not...ah screw it.

*Whacks Gue with steel chair.

Okay, now wedgie him!

[Darth Viscera]

That was me, you silly woman!

[Darth Turbogeek]

:: Steps over to Gue to wedgy him, but farts instead::

* Goes all red*


"Whoops"

[Jeseth Cloak]

Grabs Gue by his underwear and FORCE WEDGIES him. "I'm glad I watched DT while I was with the Jedi... it was one of the few useful things I learned then." Kicks him back into the room with all the fumes, then raises a brow at De'Ville. "So, you've been seeing Viscera have you? Wait until Tondry hears about this..."

[Lilaena De'Ville]

*stands on the table* Why am I the only female here!? LISTEN TO ME, you insignificant MALES! *zaps Viscera with lightening when he won't stop crashing the IT into Gue*

Stop this infighting! We must get to Denny's before the Late Night Menu is replaced by the Breakfast one! I need sustenance!

[Dark Lord Dyzm]

When you say IT, I hope you refering to the REAL one, and not the South Park Version...

[Lilaena De'Ville]

And no, I'm not seeing Viscera. *duct tapes Viscera into the air duct for saying a LIE!, and then lets DT fart into the vent*

[Jeseth Cloak]

"Alright, alright... Let's all reconvene at Denny's before they switch Menus." Hops back on the it (Not the South Park one) and invites De'Ville to get on.

[Lord Gue]

for one thing that 'it' hits me with all the force of a remote control car, another thing, im not wearing underware O_o
lastly, LOOK OVER THERE!!
Pokes everyone in the eye as they turn

[Lilaena De'Ville]

I prefer to walk, thank you. I still have some baby fat to lose. *pinches a centimeter on her tight abs* See?!

[Taylor Millard]

*Looks at the 'fat'

Sure ya do De'Ville. All right...To Denny's everyone!

Ka-Pwing!

[Lord Gue]

yeah, about as much baby fat as ally mcbeal has to lose

[Jeseth Cloak]

;; Enslaves Gue and makes him serve them as a waiter. ;;

"I'll have the Rama noodle soup." ^_^

[Lilaena De'Ville]

Um...*looks over the menu* Hmmm.

I guess I'll just have a salad and a side of Yoghurt.

[Darth Turbogeek]

WHOOSH!!!



WHOOSH!!!

:: Appears at Dennys::

:: Looks at menu::

Hmmm, I'll have to Figrin out what to have

[Taylor Millard]

Steak all the way baby! And is the De'villed eggs on the menu? Ah good. I'll take some of those too.

[Jeseth Cloak]

"Hmmm... I think to drink I'll have a Millard-Lite."

[Lord Gue]

O'kay, ill get that in just a sec


[I]Goes back and makes sures to lougy all up in their food as he comes back out

[Lilaena De'Ville]

WHERE IS MY SALAD! Oh...WAIIIITER! *looks for Gue*

[Leeloo Mina]

Leeloo runs in a bathing suit with a squirt bottle and sprays Gue in the face. Then steals his tray of food

[Lord Gue]

Walks back out
Yes mam, your food has been stolen appearently by a celser bottle weilding clown

[Jeseth Cloak]

"Hey! Don't think I didn't see that!" Turns to the others. "Good help is so hard to find these days... Viscera, where do you hire your laborers? As I remember, it was your idea to use Gue..." Hesitantly looks at his food. "DT... want to have the first bite..?"

[Taylor Millard]

You know they don't serve beer at Denny's. Unless you brought the Brewskis!

I'll take some toast too. Don't Marr-tyr it either please.

[Leeloo Mina]

Leeloo runs over to Jes and dumps Yoghurt on his head then takes off running again

[Lord Gue]

"people, you come here to denny's and expect good food AND good service? I think youve come to the wrong place..."
[I]Turns and farts in there general direction

[Darth Turbogeek]

:: Looks at dinner and then looks at escaping Leeloo::

Nah, go ahead without me. Ithink I want Rack of Leeloo for dinner :evil

[Taylor Millard]

Hey! Get back here ya Son of Hamster and Elderberries!

[Jeseth Cloak]

"Waiter! There's a Jedi in my soup!" Growls at Gue. "Your service here is awful! What's wrong with you?"

[Lilaena De'Ville]

Um...*picks Yoghurt off Jeseth's head* SOMEONE WILL DIE FOR THIS!

*gets up and looks for Leeloo, wielding the catch of the day: trout*

[Leeloo Mina]

She over hears DT and grabs a nearby shelf and tosses it at him

"How about Shelf Of Leeloo instead?"


Heads out the door

[Lord Gue]

~shrug~ prolly cuase I hate you guys? Or maybe the fact you suddenly enslaved me... dont know, but that jedi's gonna cost ya extra

[Jeseth Cloak]

"Hey, don't blame me because you were born a slave. It was your destiny." Remembers to pay Gue. "Oh yeah... remind me to fill your water dish tonight." Laughs evily.

[Taylor Millard]

I thought it was Salmon! Dammit I want SALMON! Slammin' Salmon!

[Darth Turbogeek]

:: Runs past to catch Leeloo ::

FORCE FRYING PAN!!!!


WHAM!!!!


:: Gue is launched, to go through a wall and toland in the ladies toilets::

[Jeseth Cloak]

Rummages Trace's corpse and finds a fillet of Salmon, then gives it to Millard. "Here you go... it's fresh."

[Lord Gue]

Destiny eh? hows this for destiny...
Closes his eyes real tight and...
*POOF*
Reappears in robes, a gold staff and tierra
I AM THE BURGERKING!

[Darth Viscera]

I'll have the filet mignon, medium-well, a dinner (Caesar) salad, and a whiskey sour.

Oh wait, this is Denny's.....in that case, I'll have the Southern-fried chicken, buttermilk cornbread, and a pitcher of sweet tea, with Maw's homemade apple pie.

[Lilaena De'Ville]

*ducks the shelf thrown at DT, and hits Leeloo with the trout, like a baseball, knocking her out of the thread* BOOYAH! Back to the rest of the OOC forum! THis thread is for DARK SIDE USERS! And while your posting habits may be considered evil, you are NOT of the Dark Side. OUT!

[Jeseth Cloak]

"You know, I think I might also order a helping of ReaperFettichini." Yells at Gue from the next room, "Do you think you can make some of that for us, too??"

[Lord Gue]

Pulls something from his back pocket, wrapping a peice of it around his finger as he whips his hand out, a yoyo traveling across the room and spinning around DT's legs, tripping him. He falls over, straight into a pan, panning himself.
HA!

[Taylor Millard]

Originally posted by Lord Gue

Reappears in robes, a gold staff and tierra
[/i]I AM THE BURGERKING!

WHAM! FORCE STEEL CHAIR!

Now where's that frying pan. I smell bacon!

[Leeloo Mina]

Runs back in through Denny's other door, back into the thread(NEVER!!!) and hides behind Jeseth, holding on to his arms

"DON'T LET HIM GET ME!! HE WANTS TO EAT ME AND.....Ah, crap you don't really care, do you?"

Reaches into Jes' pocket and pulls out a pair of rollar blades. Puts them on and falls over twice and finally get started back out the door again

[Lord Gue]

sure, give me some oh Hannibals recipes

[Lilaena De'Ville]

*sits down at a table, putting her head in her hands* People, please. What about the destruction of the Jedi!? Isn't that what we're all here for?

*Throws a knife at the next person to throw food*

[Lord Gue]

Ya only smell bacon taylor, cuase I set your foot on fire

[Darth Turbogeek]

FORCE EXPLODING UNDIES!!!

:: Gue's pants suddenly detonate, doing unspeakable burnage to unspeakable places!!::

[Darth Viscera]

And what does my invention of the magnet sniping gun for sniping IT's have to do with sleeping with LD? Which I deny, btw! I've heard stories. You lay a finger on her, and your pr*ck falls off, kinda like a Medusa thing! :x

[Lord Gue]

build ships that bare the insignia of the new republic, capture one of theirs too to get the updated codes, move in the NR fleet then bombard from orbit when they think they're safe

[Taylor Millard]

*Looks at right foot.

Nope it's fine

*Looks at left foot.

Looks fine to me too.


Hey GUE! Check YOUR Feet!

*Starts cackling! then coughing. Damn bacon smell.

*Sits and eats salmon using the knife in LD's hand.

[Lord Gue]

I told ya before DT, I got no underware on to speak of anyways

[Lord Gue]

Not my feet, musta been someones food...

[Taylor Millard]

>_< Too MUCH INFO GUE!

*Hits him with steel chair again!

Wierdo! :lol

[Darth Turbogeek]

:: Looks at the smoke coming from Gue's midesction::

Well SOMETHING exploded.....


* Chokes *

"WARNING GUE FARTED AGAIN!!!"

[Lilaena De'Ville]

:cry:cry:cry

*goes to find Jax, picks him up, burps him, and puts him back to bed, then goes back to Denny's*

EW! It smells like burnt pubes. >_<

[Jeseth Cloak]

"Oh yeah... well, Leeloo put on my Roller Blades of Doom... so she's going to be dead soon anyway." Thinks hard while he waits on his Millard-Lite and Fettuchini... "How about if we bombard them with stupid children from a steady orbit?

[Darth Turbogeek]

"How about we bomb The Jedi with Gue?"

[Lord Gue]

Wasnt me, im shouting from two rooms away, remember?

[Lord Gue]

dont think it'll work DT, im much to suave and handsome for that
:smokin

[Jeseth Cloak]

"Then who would be our waiter..?" Starts to eye Taylor with an apraising glance.

[Darth Turbogeek]

"Sure Gue, in whose nightmares?"

[Lilaena De'Ville]

*De'Ville looks up from a datapad.* The latest poll shows that our approval ratings are down. We're not mean enough, and we haven't gotten rid of the Jedi yet. We MUST rectify the situation!

*Looks at DT* Rectify doesn't have ANYTHING to do with the rectum, btw.

[Taylor Millard]

HEY! NO WAY PAL! NO FREAKING WAY!

YOU were the one who forgot the cigar! You do the waitering.

[Lord Gue]

yours
*wink*

[Darth Turbogeek]

:: Farts::

"Ummm, sorry? What did you say again?"

[Lord Gue]

comon my plan'll work

[Darth Turbogeek]

"EEWWWW! MOMMY, bad man winked at me!! SHOO!!! SHOOO!!! Ewww, bad man has got cheesy feet!!"

[Lilaena De'Ville]

DT! *creates a wind with the Force and blows the odor into Gue's room, two rooms away* That was gross.

[Taylor Millard]

Guess that wasn't bacon I was smelling. Ah well...

Where's my De'Villed Eggs!

[Leeloo Mina]

Leeloo continues to blade, untill they make her run into a wall. She cracks her head open and dies.


That's okay Jeseth..I'll be back to posses your body :evil

[Darth Viscera]

I have a plan.

[Jeseth Cloak]

Mumbles something about lousy dead-end job's at Denny's, then waves a hand at Gue's plan. "That'll never work. I say, we make a flagship, paint an NR insignia on it, use it capture and steel NR codes, and then bomb the Jedi when they least expect it, leaving the NR to blame."

[Taylor Millard]

Good plan...

Man DT, what did you have for dinner? WHEW!

[Lord Gue]

yeah, hey, that might work, good thinkin jes

[Lilaena De'Ville]

O_o What is Viscera's plan? Give the Jedi ITs and then hit them with a huge electromagnet, the likes of which have never been seen before, and never will be seen again?

[Taylor Millard]

*Starts thinking...


Wait! We can't stop here. This is bat country!

:wings
:wings
:wings
:wings


*Starts to run in fear...Then stops...

Wait a sec. Bats can be food! And this is Denny's. Where's that damn frying pan!

[Darth Turbogeek]

How about we drop bomb the Jedi with frozen farts? Then when they melt, they choke and DIE!!!

[Jeseth Cloak]

"Diktat Viscera, could you please bring up the holo-display of your IT scenario?" Jeseth hands him the controls to the holo-projector.

[Taylor Millard]

*Starts handing out Bat Burritos.

This oughta work!

[Jeseth Cloak]

Notices that the bathroom toilet has clogged with Gue standing in it, and wades through the water to get a Bat-Burrito, a dinosaur tail duct-taped to himself.

[Lilaena De'Ville]

Frozen farts?! That sounds evil enough.

[Taylor Millard]

Jeseth what is it with you and Duct tape?

I mean I know it holds everything but marriages together, but does it taste that good?

[Leeloo Mina]

Yeah, it does actually..

[Lord Gue]

she only knows that from the many times its been put over her mouth

[Leeloo Mina]

You're right... and I've mastered the art of slowly chewing away at it, too..

[Lilaena De'Ville]

*looks up from drawing madly on a napkin* You know, I have an idea. It involves slicing into the main communication network of Yavin, and broadcasting the movie Purple Rain over and over again on all frequencies.

It was either Prince, or Glitter, with Mariah Carey....Perhaps we can go all out and use both. Reactions, people?

[Taylor Millard]

*Grabs Duct tape from Jeseth and Pastes it over Gue's mouth

Hush up you!

*Grabs a Bat Burrito and starts eating.

Holy Sticky Situations Batman...the Burritos. They're not Bat...they're...they're...cats!

[Leeloo Mina]

Leeloo's ghost sits on De'ville's head and looks at her plan

[Lord Gue]

Mauh mah muh mauh muah mauh....
Simply reaches up and slowly peels it off
No way, purple rain? were evil, not insanely cruel...

[Taylor Millard]

YES! PURPLE RAIN! And we can get Marv Albert to host it!

YES!

*Grabs Duct Tape and tapes Gue to a chair a la Suicide Kings

[Lilaena De'Ville]

*frowns at Gue* We're DARK SIDERS, not wimps. C'mon, its a good plan.

*brushes ghostly Leeloo off her head* Enough of that ghost girl!

[Lord Gue]

didnt see that movie, thus making the tape mysteriously vanish from his body...

[Jeseth Cloak]

"Duct-tape... much like the Force: It has a light side, a dark side, and binds the galaxy together!"

[Lord Gue]

yes, but wont they wonder what we were doing with a copy of Purple rain?

[Lilaena De'Ville]

Well I don't have a copy, does someone else have one we can use?

[Leeloo Mina]

Leeloo floats over to Jeseth and starts to yank on his wings

[Lord Gue]

Not I

[Taylor Millard]

Someone find it on the 'Net. Either that or find it at Wal-mart for $0.02 in the bargin bin.

*Whacks Gue with Steel Chair again.

DOWN yoU!

[Lord Gue]

not the first time you have that problem, eh Taylor

[Taylor Millard]

*Grabs Ghostbusters Ghost Trapper.

In here LeeLoo. GOTCHA!

[Darth Viscera]

No. My plan.

[Jeseth Cloak]

"Which is..??"

[Lord Gue]

we simply ask them to give up and shoot themselves

[Leeloo Mina]

Finds a cute male ghost and makes the trap shake, ROCK AND ROLL!

:angel :p

By dancing that is.

[Darth Viscera]

Ha! You can't fool me that easily!

[Taylor Millard]

*Stands up from Ghost Trap

Yeah what plan?

And Gue what in the blue hell 'are you talking about?

[Lord Gue]

oh wait, we can

[Lilaena De'Ville]

WHAT IS YOUR FRELLING PLAN, Viscera!?!?!?

[Lord Gue]

Visc plan

[Darth Viscera]

Plan for what? I have no idea what you're talking about.

Fleet? What fleet? I haven't got a fleet.

[Lord Gue]

Yeah, and Im not a hunted man

[Darth Turbogeek]

I know. I'll unleash FORCE TITANIC THEME on them....


Ummmm.... dont look at me like that....

[Leeloo Mina]

Starts ranting to the trap about doughnuts and somehow makes it EXPLODE IN A GIANT FIRE BALL AND EVERYBODY DIES!.. well, of course just the people in the trap, but they were already dead.. so anyway..now she's free...somehow.

"BuwhAHhahHAHhhahHAHhaHAHhaHAHHAHAHhahAaHHA!"

Sits on Jeseth's head and starts pulling on his wings again

[Lord Gue]

you wouldnt...

[Taylor Millard]

BAH! YOu're not help...


now about the Purple Rain idea...LD, you get the video since you love it so much.

Jeseth, you get the speakers.

Gue, you leave.

Leeloo...reincarnate yourself and hack into the Yavin System.

I will sit down over hear and drink a congac and smoke a cigar.

[Darth Viscera]

Ah, I'm just kidding. I've got the biggest damned fleet in the history of the galaxy :)

What were we talking about again? Oh yeah. You guys had a plan.

[Lord Gue]

you do of course realize im going to fail my assignment

[Leeloo Mina]

Leeloo keeps yanking on Jeseth's wings and frowns

"I'm not doing ANYTHING till I get some food!"

[Lilaena De'Ville]

I don't like the movie! >_< >_<

*gags* Its worse than Gue is after he's had too much to drink!

[Taylor Millard]

Well, bAh you're no good either, Gue.

*here have a bat burrito.


Now about that fleet Vis. Can it broadcast Purple Rain all over the galaxy and ahve us still unable to see it?

[Darth Turbogeek]

I wanna FORCE TITANIC THEME the JEDI!!! PWWWEEEAAASSSEEE!!!!

[Jeseth Cloak]

"The most deadly thing imaginable. We broadcast Force Titanic and Purple Rain, and then make them host their message board on Ezboard."

[Lord Gue]

What is this 'too much to drink' you speak of?

[Taylor Millard]

Originally posted by Jeseth Cloak
"The most deadly thing imaginable. We broadcast Force Titanic and Purple Rain, and then make them host their message board on Ezboard."

*Does bad mimic of Marv Albert.

YES!

Force 'em to watch Titanic. Although they're so loving and crap, they'll probably see Titanic over and over and over again.

Although Purple Rain might drive 'em nuts.

[Jeseth Cloak]

"I see... So Gue, I take it you're Irish?" Turns to Viscera, "We need to duct-tape DT to the bottom of an SSD, so we can use him as our weapon against the Jedi..."

[Darth Viscera]

Beef, it's what's for dinner.

[Darth Turbogeek]

Host on Ezboard? Master, that's truly evil! It's nearly as bad as being Titanic Themed! We can't lose! MHAHAHAHAHAHA!


:: Hits Gue with the frying an again::

[Taylor Millard]

Nah..>STEAK! Medium Rare!

Hey DT, Can I borrow that Frying Pan? I got some eggs to cook.

[Lord Gue]

close, but no... Turns to Taylor..uh, nm.

~runs off for a moment, time to goto work, the RL awaits

[Leeloo Mina]

Leeloo yanks Jeseths wings off by accident and hides them behind her back. She jumps off his head, dragging the wings with her, she grabs some Sweet n' Low(ew) packets, toothpicks and a salt shaker. Leeloo drags them back to Jeseth, shakes some salt on him wings then tries to reattach them with the toothpicks and packets of sweet n' low without him noticing

[Jeseth Cloak]

"Damn... there goes our waiter. DT, once they're hosted on Ezboard, they'll drown in pop-ups... they're planet's atmosphere will overflow and burst, exposing them to your Force Titanic Theme..."

[Darth Turbogeek]

:: Pans Gue again::

Sure. You want my nonstick pan? The blood stains and the brain splatter just wash off in water

[Taylor Millard]

Originally posted by Lord Gue
close, but no... Turns to Taylor..uh, nm.

Not that kind of steak you ninny! The kind that comes from cows. DUR!

Thanks DT! Yeah, it hsould wash off...there we go.

[Leeloo Mina]

She accidently pokes one of the tooth pics through Jeseth's skin, stabbing his kidney

"uh..oops."

[Lilaena De'Ville]

Don't look at me Jeseth. Just because I'm female doesn't mean I'm going to jump up and grab you a beer.

*scribbles on a napkin* See, I think this plan will work! Use DT's gas to knock out the mines surrounding the planet. Then broadcast away, quietly bringing in the rest of the biggest fleet in the galaxy while the Jedi are plucking out their eyes and cutting off their ears.

[Taylor Millard]

I like! Kudos all round!

*Passes out Kudos Bars

[Jeseth Cloak]

Gets up to get a Kudos bar, and feels his wings fall apart. "WTF?!" Picks them up off the ground. "My precious beautiful angel wings....." Glares at Taylor. "YOU DID IT! YOU WERE UPSET BECAUSE OF YOUR CIGAR!" Lunges at his throat.

[Lilaena De'Ville]

*brushes some salt off her shoulder* What the..?

[Darth Turbogeek]

While the Jedi are comatose with the power of the Titanic Theme, can I pan em all too?

[Leeloo Mina]

Leeloo sits ontop of Jeseth's wings and thinks to herself "They aren't THAT pretty..Rather ugly, actually.."

[Taylor Millard]

Hey...HEY! Get away from me you BAT!

I'll find a sewer to sew your wings back on! Geez louise. Relax, I'm sure they're around there somewhere.


And as long as I can Hit 'em with the steel chair, DT yes!

[Lilaena De'Ville]

Um, you want a seamstress or the stinky thing beneath the gutter?! A sewer?! Ick! I'd rather bathe in a Hutt's pool....no, wait, I can't decide...

[Jeseth Cloak]

"You know, we could just rush delivery of strong liquors to Yoghurt's Bar & Grill, and let them drink themselves to death... As a backup plan of course..."

[Taylor Millard]

Originally posted by Lilaena De'Ville
Um, you want a seamstress or the stinky thing beneath the gutter?! A sewer?! Ick! I'd rather bathe in a Hutt's pool....no, wait, I can't decide...

Seamstress...Sewer (the person who sews)

Tomaito...tomawto.

[Leeloo Mina]

Leeloo looks over at Jeseth and sees the toothpick from earlier sticking out of his back.. "ACK!" She drags the wings with her to follow him, then grabs the tooth pick and yanks it..

WOOOSH!!

She stares blankly at the little hole the toothpick made...no way it... what was that smell..

"EWW!!! JESETH FARTED TOO!!!"

She backs into the coner and tries to use the wings to protect her from the evil fart

[Jeseth Cloak]

"HEY! I DO NOT FART! EVER." :grumble

[Lilaena De'Ville]

*plugs nose* Geez! C'mon, I'm trying to stay focused here! I KNEW coming to Denny's was a BAD idea.

*duct tapes Jeseth's wings back on him*

[Leeloo Mina]

"Yeah, well you just did!"

Leeloo jumps on his back

"NOW! TAKE ME FOR A PIGGY BACK RIDE!"

[Taylor Millard]

yeah we probably shoulda gone to Lenny's. Or Moe's I dunno.

You know I never got my De'Villed Eggs. :grumble

[Leeloo Mina]

"You guys should just have Jeseth fart in the Bar and Grill. It'll wipe out the jedi AND sith.. Now.. Piggy back ride, darnit!"

[Lilaena De'Ville]

*grabs a plate, and breaks it over Millard's head*

THAT was for no reason whatsoever. Sorry, I'm evil, I don't have to have a reason. :p

[Taylor Millard]

*oww...Grabs Steel Chair. Then stops...

I got a better idea.


PIE FIGHT!

Splat!

Take that De'Ville!

[Jeseth Cloak]

It-a-la a shame, that was a nice plate... :(

[Leeloo Mina]

Kicks Jes in the side

"I'm still waiting for my piggy-back ride."

[Lilaena De'Ville]

AIM crashed! I HATE AIM! We should delete all the communications satelites od Yavin and make them use AOL as their primary communication's source!

*licks pie off face* yummy. :)

[Jeseth Cloak]

Licks pie off De'Ville too. "Yummy indeed.... HEY! I use AOL... even if not by choice..." :(

[Lilaena De'Ville]

AIM is back! I love AIM! Lets make the Jedi use Netscape instead.

[Lilaena De'Ville]

*gets licked* O_o Is this some sort of TBH initiation thing?

[Darth Vader]

:: A familiar dark visage enters the thread ::

hhhhoooooohhhhhh.....paaaahhhhhhhh......hhhhoooooh hhhhhh......paaaahhhhhhh

[Lilaena De'Ville]

*bows* Lord Vader, it is an honor.

Um...did you forget your athsma treatment again?

[Leeloo Mina]

"FINE! If you won't give me a ride.. maybe HE will!"

Gets off Jeseth's back and hops onto Vaders

"PIGGY BACK RIDE!"

[Taylor Millard]

If it is...LD get over here!

Oh hey Darth, what's up. Here some Ventalin. Asthma Medicine

[Jeseth Cloak]

"Yes... there's another part of the initiation we didn't tell you about. Millard, I think we need to find the feather. The really big one...." Smiles at De'Ville innocently.

[Darth Vader]

hhhhoooooohhhhhh.....paaaahhhhhhhh......hhhhoooooh hhhhhh......paaaahhhhhhh

Your faith in the environment is your weakness. Carbon Monoxide, Carbonfluorocarbons, and numerous carcinogens will cause you to meet your destiny. This mask cleanses the air I breathe, making it environmentally-friendly.

[Lilaena De'Ville]

What the hell is a feater?!

[Taylor Millard]

So does that mean you're a kinder-gentler Darth Vader?

[Jeseth Cloak]

"Yes... but does it do... THIS!" Jeseth turns on a giant strobe-disco ball. It blinds everyone in thew room for a few seconds before their eyes adjust, casting a shiney glare on Vader's black head. He turns to Millard in an angry manner

"DOES DARTH VADER LOOK LIKE A B*TCH?!"

[Darth Vader]

Perhaps a demonstration is in order of my kind ways...and my gentle touch.

:: Vader tightens a fist and air suddenly becomes a luxurious commodity for Millard ::

[Jeseth Cloak]

;; Jeseth rolls over laughing at Millard and pointing. ;;

[imported_Taja Loraan]

"Ladies .. gentlemen ... pardon my interrupting your peculiar methods of socializing, but I have a rather important announcement: it seems as though golf balls on Yavin have been rumored to have voices.

"This suggests that our kind-hearted friends there may actually be slaughtering the poor little things AFTER bashing them with a big stick. This is a violation of all codes of the IRA (Inorganic Rights Activists), a group to which I belong."

Taja sat back down, a headache having prevented her from reaching this strange place earlier.

"Oh yes ... and sir Jeseth's teddy has only one eye." Looks down at him, fighting back the tears and clutching her own Boo-boo tightly. :cry

[Mortaniuss]

"Pah.... Lord Vader, indeed. A lifeless husk given temporary reprieve from death's touch by 'modern' science, more like. Why, I'd wager that there's hardly any lifeblood in that shell. What a travesty."

[Darth Vader]

Your insight into history is well-spent, vampyre. But with most other resurrections, there is...rebirth.

[imported_Firebird1]

Oh my God they Killed Trace!!


You Idiots, now how is he supposed to repay me that $5?

*Lights up a Cigar*

[Lt Lujayne Forge]

A sigless 'soon to be remedied' Rebel pilot gets thrown into the thread by a strapping stormtrooper cursing,


"Rebel scum"


she falls into Lord Vader, his resolute stance uninhibited by the brazen assault of the young Rebel Lieutenant crashing to the floor by his feet. Looking up at her black armored adversary she uttered,


"Hey big guy...You wouldnt practice the force on this vulnerable 'forceless' pilot now would you?"

**gulps**O_o

[Jedi Knight Aura]

"Alright who keeps making jokes about the Jedi lol?"


::Aura sees the culprits and gives them a rasberry::


"Its ok Lujayne, I will offer protection against this formidable abomination of the dark side."


::winks at Darth Vader::

[Jehova Eaven]

"Am I late?", I questioned as I entered the facility casually.

[Taylor Millard]

Originally posted by Darth Vader
Perhaps a demonstration is in order of my kind ways...and my gentle touch.

:: Vader tightens a fist and air suddenly becomes a luxurious commodity for Millard ::

*Gasp...All right all right. You're not a kindler, gentler Vader. Just with that helmet that looks like a Crimson Tide helmet, I was just thinking you'd become a football player or something. Not saying, the Tide are pushovers or anything, but my gosh...;) I am SOOOO JOKING!

:grumble and probably dead too.

[Jeseth Cloak]

;; Takes the cigar out of Firebird's mouth and hands it to Millard quickly. ;;

Breath Taylor, Breath! Smoke, it'll help you open up your lung passages!

;; He frowns. ;;

Hey! Taja, since when does my Teddy only have one eye... WAIT! How do you know about Teddy?? :mad

[imported_Firebird1]

My Cigar....

:cry


*Grabs Jeseth's Wing, lights it on fire and uses it to light up another Cigar.*

>D

[Darth Vader]

:: With the Tide remark, Millard's head pops like a zit ::

I too have a sense of humor, Admiral.

[Lord Gue]

I know! I shall buy a space heater and set it on high while they sleep. When they awake there noses shall be so crusty they'll kill themselves!!!!

[Taylor Millard]

*Puts head back together.

My apologies Lord Vader. I did not mean to insult the great Crimson Tide. Better than being an Eagle.

[Darth Vader]

hohhhhhhhh.....pahhhhhhhhh....hohhhhhhhhh....pahhh hhhhhhh....

That is correct, Admiral.

[Taylor Millard]

*Loosens collars.

So Lord Vader? Shall we drink to the glory of the Empire?

BRING OUT THE BREWSKIS!!!

[Sam the Eagle]

You are all....wierdos!

[imported_Taja Loraan]

"Because. Boo-boo said so."

Looks at Taylor, eyes welling up.

"Oh, you poor dear! What have these horrible people done to you?! You poor, sweet child ... " :(

[Lilaena De'Ville]

De'Ville takes one look at Sam the Eagle, and picks him up with the Force, throwing him into the two Light siders, the Jedi and the Rebel pilot.

"Now, about this... feather...."

[imported_Taja Loraan]

>_< "NO!! Thou shalt not harm animals!"

:: Is now really on the verge of tears. ::

[Mortaniuss]

Wow... enough people using pictures of Dawn?

[imported_Taja Loraan]

:: blinks :: Who? O_o You mean the picture thing under my name? I dunno .. she had whitey-ish hair. :|

[Mortaniuss]

It's the same character as in Aura Sunrider's sig. And I know Nuri used that same pic you have for a little while.

[Sam the Eagle]

*Pulls feather out of body (ow!). Hands it to De'Ville. Then tickles her briefly.

You are all STILL Wierdos.

*Flies away.

[Lord DarkStar]

Shoots Sam with his parrot hunting gun as he flies away

[Jeseth Cloak]

;; Rips the bird's wings off and attachs them to himself to replace the one Firebird ripped off. ;;

Ah... that's better. :angel

[imported_Taja Loraan]

Really? Uh .. I guess I'll change it back when I can be bothered.
-_-

And stop it tormenting the poor birdie, you meanie!! :: thwaps Jes ::

[Mortaniuss]

Didn't say there was anything wrong with it, just making an observation. :)

Personally, I like it. Keep it.

[Sam the Eagle]

*Limps back to Brian Henson. Gets wings sewed back on.

Advantage of being a muppet.


*Leaves

You are all...wierdos!

[imported_Firebird1]

*used to eat muppet....:p*
Uh like I thought I burned Jeseth's wings not..
*Looks down at his hands and sees Jeseth's wings in them still aflame.*

I guess I don't know my own power...

*Drops the wings and plays a game on his Robotic Right Arm.*

[Jeseth Cloak]

He has the nintendo power glove! stop him!

[Lord Gue]

Dont worry, with the new shock feature and his crappyness with video games he'll be dead in no time

[Leeloo Mina]

Starts yanking on Jeseths wings again

[Lord Gue]

hey, if the jedi council thread only reached 1000 becuase ezboard shut it down round there, whats gonna stop us from getting higher here?