Star Wars vs. Star Trek

[darth_mcbain]

I was up late last night and couldn't sleep, so I was thinking about battle matchups between Star Wars and Star Trek characters and who would win...


The battle of whiny kids
Luke Skywalker vs. Wesley Crusher

Outcome: Whiner or not, I think Luke would kick Wesley's @ss in a New York minute.
SW: 1 ST: 0

The battle of the doctors
Too One Bee vs. Dr. McCoy

Outcome: Even though Too One Bee isn't really that mobile, I'd still put my money on him. I mean, come on - this is Bones we're talking about.
SW: 2 ST: 0

The battle of the androids
Tag team of C3PO and R2D2 vs. Data

Outcome: Even though its two against one, C3PO and R2Ds would be scrap metal at the end of this one.
SW: 2 ST: 1

The battle of the smug captains
Han Solo vs. James T. Kirk

Outcome: Close matchup - I think I'd have to go with Solo on this one, Kirk would be too busy waving to the female spectators...
SW: 3 ST: 1

The battle of the guys with funky prosthetics
Lobot vs. Geordi La Forge

Outcome: Both are more brains than brawn - I think Geordi would take this one, but it might come down to the judge's scorecards.
SW: 3 ST: 2

The battle of the second officers
Chewbacca vs. Will Riker

Outcome: Chewbacca would snap Riker in half like a toothpick
SW: 4 ST: 2

The battle of the assertive females
Leia Organa vs. Ro Laren

Outcome: This catfight would get ugly - I think I'd pick Ro...
SW: 4 ST: 3

The battle of the security officers
Captain Panaka vs. Worf

Outcome: Don't make me laugh...
SW: 4 ST: 4

The battle of the fat dudes
Jabba the Hutt vs. Scotty

Outcome: Would end in a draw - neither can move enough to do anything to the other...
SW: 4 ST: 4

The battle of the minds
Yoda vs. Spock

Outcome: I'd definitely go with Yoda on this one. Spock's Vulcan neck pinch is no match for the Force.
SW: 5 ST: 4

The battle of the sleazy shop owners
Watto vs. Quark

Outcome: Tough to call this one. Both would probably try to weasel their way out of the fight. I think I'd have to go Watto - he's got the advantage of flight.
SW: 6 ST: 4

The battle of the cyborgs
Darth Vader vs. The Borg

Outcome: Another tough call. Vader's got the force, but the Borg are the Borg... Sorry Vader, resistance is futile...
SW: 6 ST: 5

The battle of the PuppetMasters
Emperor Palpatine vs. Q

Outcome: Palpy's got the awesome power of the Dark Side of the Force, but Q would do him in with a snap of his fingers...
SW: 6 ST: 6


So, as much as I'd like to declare that Star Wars would collectively kick Star Trek's @ss, I call it a draw... Unless any of you might call some of these the other way?

Anyway, like I said it was late and I was tired... :zzz


Can anyone else think of any additional matchups?

[BUFFJEDI]

Vader would so smash the borg within 30 seconds.
Other than that Good call.

[darth_mcbain]

Just to qualify this matchup - it would be Vader vs. the entire Borg collective. Buff, you still sure Vader would win that one? :)

[Doc Milo]

I would agree with Buff -- Vader versus the Borg Collective. Vader's got the Force, man.

"Don't be so proud of this technological terror you've constructed. The ability to destroy a planet is insignificant next to the power of the Force."

Vader would use the Force to turn the collective mind against itself and watch with satisfaction as it destroyed itself from within.

[JMK]

I agree, Vader would beat anyone, but his own son.

And as much as I hate to say it, I think Kirk could possibly beat Solo. Kirk's 2-handed smash is incredibly destructive. Solo doesn't have a move like that!

[darth_mcbain]

Oooohhh, that's right - forgot Kirks double-hand smash. You're right - an effective move... That might even the playing field :)

Can anyone think of a good matchup for Boba Fett?

[Doc Milo]

Boba Fett versus 7 of 9?

[JMK]

7 of 9 wins that one. She just undresses for Boba, who is mesmerized and in his flirtatious ways tries to get a little closer, and then she low blows him.

Boba goes down....

7 of 9 applies the cover...

the ref counts...

1

2

3!!!

7 of 9 with a quick, decisive victory.

[darth_mcbain]

LOL - thats a good move that 7 of 9 has - it would probably be effective on me... :lol

How's about Jean-Luc Picard vs. Admiral Ackbar?

[Jedieb]

This is great idea. Let the battle begin!

The battle of whiny kids
Luke Skywalker vs. Wesley Crusher

Damn straight Luke kicks his ass! Wesley! How the hell do you get beat up by a guy named Wesley?
SW: 1 ST: 0

The battle of the doctors
Too One Bee vs. Dr. McCoy

I diasagree with you here. Bones would whup 21-B in a heartbeat. Never underestimate the power of a cranky old bastard.

SW: 1 ST: 1

The battle of the androids
Tag team of C3PO and R2D2 vs. Data

I agree, even with R2's bag of tricks, Data would make short work of both our favorite droids.
SW: 1 ST: 2

The battle of the smug captains
Han Solo vs. James T. Kirk

This really is a close match up. It breaks my heart but I have to go with Classic Kirk. Not the chubby wig wearing movie Kirk, Solo would kick his can. But Old Style Kirk was the coolest guy in the galaxy and could get laid on any planet and in any dimension.
SW: 1 ST: 3

The battle of the guys with funky prosthetics
Lobot vs. Geordi La Forge

Outcome: No self respecting man could lose a fight to the host of PBS's Reading Rainbow. Plus, Lobot's been drinkin' Colt 45 with Billy Dee for years now. Never mess with a man who's been drinkin' Colt 45!
SW: 2 ST: 3

The battle of the second officers
Chewbacca vs. Will Riker

Outcome: True, Chewie would not only rip Riker in half, but he'd do the same to Riker's women. And they'd love it! ;)
SW: 3 ST: 3

The battle of the assertive females
Leia Organa vs. Ro Laren

Outcome: Leia wins easily. Why? Leia dresses for success; Slave Bikini and white braless Death Star jiggle jogging outfit. Ro... wears "comfortable" shoes, wears her hair short, and enjoys carpentry. Let's leave it at that.
SW: 4 ST: 3

The battle of the security officers
Captain Panaka vs. Worf

Outcome: Not only would Worf humiliate Panaka, but Panaka's own men would cheer Worf on.



SW: 4 ST: 4

The battle of the fat dudes
Jabba the Hutt vs. Scotty

Outcome: I actually have to go with Scotty. Why? Any guy who can break the laws of physics with nothing more than Scottish Whiskey and a roll of duct tape is a man to be reckoned with.
SW: 4 ST: 5

The battle of the minds
Yoda vs. Spock

Outcome: The Vulcan Nerve Pinch would be no match for Yoda's gimmer stick. Plus, Yoda scores more tail than anyone on the Jedi council. Spock only has sex once every 7 years. Poor Spock.
SW: 5 ST: 5

The battle of the sleazy shop owners
Watto vs. Quark

Outcome: I'm actually gong to go with Quark here. He's uglier and he'd sell his own mother out. Well, so would Watto but Quark doesn't stoop to using child labor. Plus, Quark owns a bar. Never go against a guy that can give you free beer.
SW: 5 ST: 6

The battle of the cyborgs
Darth Vader vs. The Borg

Outcome: Resisting the Dark Side is futile. Vader would kick Borg ass and not even bother to take down any names. And pity that pathetic Borg Queen. Anyone that could get outwitted by the Muppet captain of Voyager is no match for the Dark Lord of the Sith.
SW: 6 ST: 6

The battle of the PuppetMasters
Emperor Palpatine vs. Q

Outcome: Different galaxy different rules. Palpy rules his galaxy, but Q can make crap appear and disappear at will. Palpy depends on Vader and well... Depends adult diapers to protect his backside. Q wins easily.
SW: 6 ST: 7

7 of 9 V. Fett
Fett wins because this isn't a wet t-shirt contest, it's a battle to the finish.
SW: 7 ST: 7

Tie Breaker
Stormtroopers V. Red Shirts

STORMTROOPERS
This isn't a battle of who kicks more ass, but who does a more effective job of getting themselves killed. On the surface, Red Shirts seem like the obvious winners. You know they're dead men whenever they step on any planet surface. But there's more to getting yourself killed than your choice of shirt color. Stormtroopers are far more incompetent. They wear armor that's completely ineffective. It neither stops blaster fire or provides a clear field of vision. They're notoriously inconsistent. They slaughter Jawas, but allow themselves to get overrun by a forest of teddy bears. They also have the worst aim in the galaxy. They can be "precise" only if they pull a Sandcrawler over and start blasting away at point blank range. Get a moving target in a hallway a few meters wide and they're useless. When you look at it carefully you see why Stormtroopers are the best cannon fodder in the galaxy.
SW: 8 ST:7

The Winna...
STAR WARS!!!!!

[imported_QuiGonJ]

but, JediEb, it's still balanced....

BATTLE OF THE SPECIAL EDITIONS

I just saw the Star Trek: The Motion Picture DVD, and quite frankly, it's a real deal Special Edition. Robert Wise had a real delivery date problem for completing Star Trek TMP, so Paramount finally let him do it.

The sound effects are all from the 1970's sound effects library, the special effects are color timed and designed to fit what would have been possible back then, and Robert Wise was allowed to resequence the film to match what he had in mind back in 1979. This new cut lets the performances shine through... well, ok, aside from Shatner, but they were film editors, not miracle workers.

Mainly, the Trek SE wins by being subtle. No dropping in scenes that didn't fit, that were politically correct, or that would enrage continuity fans. There's no Greedo fires first or Luke's scream to make the audience go, what was that?

[Oh, and they even left in some film grain and scratches to make it feel more like a movie. :) ]

so, IMO, we're back to 8 v. 8

[darth_mcbain]

We still have the

Battle of the Bald Leaders
Admiral Ackbar vs. Jean-Luc Picard

to call. Who would you pick on that one? We haven't seen much of Ackbar in the movies, for all we know he could be a squid-fu master, but I think I'd have to go with Picard. Anyone call this one differently?

For another one, how about:

The Battle of the Bartenders
Wuher vs. Guinan

I'll leave this one up for debate while I think who I'd put my money on... :p

Any other battles you'd like to see?

BTW - Love how you call the matches EB... :lol

[Jedieb]

The battle rages on....

Special Editions
QuiGon speaks the truth. Even though I haven't seen the Star Trek one it gets the nod. Unless it's been reedited to show Kirk bald instead of the Virger chick, then ST wins. Greedo shoots first, WTH?!
SW: 8 ST: 8

Battle of the Bald Leaders
Admiral Ackbar vs. Jean-Luc Picard

Let's look at their work outside of their franchises. Picard gets mutant powers, a new outlook on life after being visited by the ghosts of Christmas Past, Present, and Future. Ackbar gets served with butter at your local Red Lobster. I think I'll have to go with Picard.
SW: 8 ST: 9

The Battle of the Bartenders
Wuher vs. Guinan

Wuher is rude, ugly, and smells worse than a Jawa that's just finished the New York City marathon. Whoopi Goldberg... crap, there's no difference here. Okay, the actor that played Wuher now works for minimum wage signing autographs at Sci-Fi conventions. Whoopi Goldberg is the center square on Hollywood Squares. Another tie on the crap scale. Let's go to their bartending skills for the tie breaker. Guinan talks your ear off and serves you nothing but sythahol. Wuher barely acknowleges you and serves you nothing but hard liquor distilled from dead Rodian bounty hunters who still shoot first.
THE WINNAH.... WUHER!!!!!!
SW: 9 ST: 9

We're still tied here people. Let's get some more categories going.

[darth_mcbain]

LOL... I personally would put my money on Wuher in that last one too, but it was a tough call for me. I mean, when Ponda Baba whipped out that blaster in the cantina, Wuher just jumped under the table like a little girl screaming "No Blasters!!!" However, as I haven't seen Guinan being much more assertive than that (except to tell Captain Picard some cryptic, bonehead thing to make him do something differently), I would still have to go with Wuher...

Yeah - let's get some more categories going, I don't want to be the only one pulling these matchups.

Here's one for ya, one I personally have trouble calling too. It's the:

Battle of the Bumbling Idiots
Jar-Jar Binks vs. Barclay
As I said, I don't quite know how to call this one. I'll need to think on it a bit and get back to y'all. How would you call this one?

[Jedieb]

Battle of the Bumbling Idiots
Jar-Jar Binks vs. Barclay

A former member of the A-Team V. a former member of Stomp? Barclay stages elaborate holograms in which he scores with every hot chick on the Enterprise. Jar Jar steps in crap and gets farted on. Barclay wins this one in a landslide.

SW: 9 ST: 10

Let me create some categories, but I'll post my winners later:

Battle of the Shady Con Men
Harry Mudd V. Lando Calrissian

Battle of the Furballs
Ewoks V. Tribbles

[Darth23]

This thread is much more entertaining than I feared.

:D

[darth_mcbain]

I know - there are some decent matches here...

As for the:
Battle of the Shady Con Men
Harry Mudd vs. Lando Calrissian

I don't know enough about Harry Mudd to make a truly informed decision, but Lando's a pretty tough dude... Any guy who pulls a maneuver at the battle of Tanaab (sp?) and can actually stomach Colt 45 has got a fair shot in this matchup. I go with Lando to even the score!!!

SW: 10 ST: 10

In the:
Battle of the Furballs
Ewoks vs. Tribbles

I think I'd have to go with Tribbles based on sheer numbers. True, the Ewoks took on the Imperial Empire, but I think they'd find themselves knee deep in Tribble PooDoo in this battle. Winner: Tribbles...

SW: 10 ST: 11


As for the:
Battle of the Bumbling Idiots
I think I'd have to agree with EB. As much as I'd like Jar Jar to win, I don't think I can find any way in which that would happen. Despite Barclay's ineptitude, I think he'd take out Jar Jar when all was said and done... Sorry JarJar (How Wude...)


How's about the:
Battle of the Creators
George Lucas vs. Gene Roddenberry

[imported_QuiGonJ]

Before I go back to the battle, I need to wax rhapsodic a little more on the TMP SE disc... I didn't even realize half the scenes were redos until I watched the documentary on the second disc. Even if you hated TMP the first time, I highly recommend a rental of this version. It feels more like Star Trek now.

so...

Battle of the Creators

Howard the Duck v. Earth:Final Conflict? George the Family Man v. the "Father" of the Galaxy who bedded as many female fans as he could?

GL has never professed a belief in "the Seven", seven aliens that supposedly run the world. And Lucas never stole stuff from Fox while Roddenberry has been accused of stealing the first two seasons of stock footage from Trek to sell at conventions... I'll give it to George Lucas.

SW:11 ST:11

Battle of the Babes

Oola and Leia in the Metal Bikini vs. 7 of 9 and T'Pol.

::Homer Simpson drool:: mmmmm, Metal Bikini :D:D

SW:12 ST:11

[Darth23]

Roddenberry? sellign stiff at conventions? I find that highly unlikely.

But it it is true I have no problem with him ripping of Paramount for anything he could get. Those guys are slime. The only reason they finally brought Star Trek back was because Star Wars was so successful. (I knew that long before Robert Wise confirmed it in the new dvd).

First the didnt' want to make Star Trek, then they didn't want to make a second season, or a third. Then they dicked around for a decade while the fans kept it growing in polularity. They only (finally) saw dollar signs in their eyes becuause and other 'nut' who the studios kept passing on was able to make the biggest movie of all time.


Sorry, end of rant.

[Jedieb]

Battle of the Shady Con Men
Harry Mudd vs. Lando Calrissian
Mudd is a cheap second rate con man. Lando hits on his best friend's girl right in front of him and then sells him out to the Empire. Lando wins easily.

SW: 10 ST: 10

Battle of the Furballs
Ewoks vs. Tribbles
Ewoks are freakish Carebare clones stupid enough to worship 3-PO as a god. Tribbles are constanly mounting each other and reproducing at a phenomenal rate. You'd think I'd go with Tribbles right? Wrong, I vote for no one that has that much more sex than I do. Damn Tribbles, I hope the Ewoks kick them right in their *(*&(!!!

SW: 11 ST: 10
Battle of the Creators

Lucas created a multi billion dollar Empire that climaxed creatively with The Empire Strikes Back. Rodenberry created a multi million dollar empire, had it taken from him by Paramount, where it still never caught up to the bucks generated by Lucas, and its creative climax was The Wrath of Kahn. As much as I love fine Corentian Leather and Ricardo Montalban I'll go with GL. Plus, bearded guys who wear nothing but jeans and plaid will usually kick the crap out of guys who wear leisure suits from Sears.

SW:12 ST:10

Battle of the Babes
Oola and Leia in the Metal Bikini vs. 7 of 9 and T'Pol.

Oola and Leia are both Jabba's sloppy seconds. Not a pretty image. 7 of 9 is hot, but frigid enough to not really give you a 110% in the sack. T'Pol? Not really familiar with her but the name's not doing anything for me. I'll go with the girls who've been around the block. Oola & Leia!!!!

SW: 13 ST:10

SW is starting to pull ahead with me. Ha Ha Trek!

[imported_QuiGonJ]

The story is in "Inside Star Trek: The Real Story" by Herb Solow and Bob Justman. The exec producers of the Original Series, made the accusations, not me.

They talk in the book about going to the vaults to get footage to reinsert into a third season episode, and the guard said Gene's girlfriend Mabel [really Majel] came and unloaded all that stuff into a truck and carted it off. It was later seen in Lincoln Enterprises catalogs, which was Gene's company for selling Trek stuff, and they were the ones saying it waqs at conventions.

And yeh, I admit Paramount has treated the Trek franchise badly.. which reminds me

Battle of the Studios
Fox v. Paramount

Fox provided Lucas with the means to give us all Star Wars, and hasn't made a Star Wars casino...

winnah.... Fox!

so.. SW:13 ST:11 :)

[imported_Eve]

This thread is great.

Oola and Leia vs. 7 of 9 and T'Pol:
That woman that plays T'Pol is GORGEOUS! She beats all three of them hands down, so ST gets the point there for me.

I agree with what most of you have said otherwise. I love both ST and SW. I love this thread.

I ask though... all in all, which franchise has made more money. I would think obviously SW, but what about the sum totals through all the years, inlcuding merchandise, conventions, etc etc... anything with the name on it. Anyone have figures for this?

[Jedieb]

Battle of the Studios
Fox v. Paramount

Paramount abuses Rodenberry and keeps most of the cash for itself. Fox makes one of the most colosal business blunders of all time by giving GL sequel and merchandising rights. The mistake ends up costing them billions. Paramount wins easily.

SW: 13 ST: 11

Who's made more money? Despite the various TV series, films, and conventions I think SW is probably ahead in terms of revenue. The 4 SW films' international B.O. grosses still pummel all of the Trek films and they have two more to go. SW merchandising has raked in billions and still has a long revenue stream to look forward to. Trek use to have the edge in publishing, but Lucas knows how to recognize a good deal when he sees it and that's why we've seen a steady steam of SW EU literature since the Zahn novels of the early 90's. The only area where Trek can play catch up is in syndication rights. There's a huge amount of cash there, but I still don't think it's enough to surpass SW revenue. I wish I did know of where to get the info to compare the two. Aside from the occasional article here and there you'd probably have to look at two SW and ST collectible books to get an idea of who comes out on top.

[BUFFJEDI]

Does anyone read the comic strip FOX TROT? in the saturday B/w the youngest boy is talking about how he thinks they should give the survior tribes cooler names like The SITH Verus the borg :)
I found it amusing considering this thread:)

[darth_mcbain]

How's about the:

Battle of the Flagships
Darth Vader's Star Destroyer vs. The Enterprise

Personally, I don't think Geordi and Scotty combined could boost the Enterprise's shields high enough to withstand an attack by Darth Vader's Star Destroyer. But, a Star Destroyer was momentarily incapacitated by a ground based ion-cannon, so they aren't invincible. Nonetheless, I still go with the Star Destroyer.

Any other takers on this matchup?

[Jedieb]

Allright, let's get into the ships. But I'll tell you right now, I'm NOT going to get TECHNICAL!! I'll pick whoever I think is cooler and I'll rag on a particular ship for no other reason than I think it looks funny. If you're going to start to get technical with me by quoting the shield capacity of the Enterprise E from your Star Trek technical journal then I'm NOT going to listen to you. I'll pity you, and wonder if you'll ever actually see a woman naked without paying large amounts of your parents' money, but I WILL NOT LISTEN TO YOU! Now on with the show!

Battle of the Flagships
Darth Vader's Star Destroyer vs. The Enterprise

Vader's Super Star Destroyer dwarfs the already massive ships in the Imperial navy. The Enterprise gets destroyed every other movie. Vader's ship wins easily. Yes it was destroyed at Endor, but I blame incompetent crew and the demise of the Emperor.

SW: 14 ST: 11

Battle of the Shuttles
The Imperial Shuttle V. Crappy Star Trek Shuttles

The title kind of gives it away doesn't it? The Imperial Shuttle looks great and was one of the best toys the vintage line ever produced. Star Trek shuttles look like the kind of space ship your mom would let you borrow on your first date. With the Imp Shuttle you'd have a chance to get past second, maybe even third base. With the shuttle Galileo (I can't believe I actually remember the name of a ST shuttle... pity me), anyway, with the ST shuttle Galileo you be home by 9PM and cozying up to one of your dad's old playboys.
The winnah..... The Imperial Shuttle
SW: 15 ST: 11

Battle of the Collosal Star/Planet Destroying Ships
Death Star I & II V. The Planet Killers & Borg Cube

Strengths
The Borg cubes are virtually unstopable killing machines that carve up planets and assimilate entire civilizations. They're backed up the planet killers that could swallow up starships, borg cubes, planets, and just about anything else that gets in their way.

Death Stars are the size of small moons and armed with superlasers that can destroy planets with a single shot. They can also spit out thousands of Tie Fighters.

Weaknesses
The Borg can be defeated by being told to go to sleep. Let me repeat that, you can trick them into going to sleep and they'll blow themselves up. How the hell did these idiots conquer galaxies? Planet killers can be destroyed with a beat up old Starship, some anit matter, and a self destruct. Not that tough really.

Death Stars can be taken out by one shot. Despite the ability to carry hundreds of Tie Fighters to defend themselves, they only launch a few dozen whenever they attacked by small rebel forces. They're also put into service when they're not even finished. Stupid, overconfident Imperials! We could have crushed that insignificant rebellion if only we'd... oh, oh, I've said too much...
The winnah... Death Stars!!!!!

SW: 16 ST: 11

What was once a close contest is now turning into a rout. STAR WARS FOREVER!!!!!!

[RHJediKnight]

Battle of the Flagships
Darth Vader's Star Destroyer vs. The Enterprise

Which Enterprise? Anything before the Enterprise-D doesn't stand a chance. The Ent-D would be able to put up a good fight, but I don't think it'd win. The Enterprise-E, however, has those quantum torpedoes and stuff. They could probably win against a Star Destroyer. BUT, you said Darth Vader's Star Destroyer, which I believe would be the Super Star Destroyer Executor. Sorry, but I don't think anything Starfleet has to offer could take that puppy on and live to tell about it.

SW: 14 ST: 11

Bah, 'Eb beat me to it. :\ Ah well, I'll leave this up here anyway.

[Jedieb]

Everyone's welcome to have fun RH! Don't let me or anyone else stop your fun. BTW, didn't that last Simpsons Halloween special kind of suck? The season premiere was pretty good though.

[RHJediKnight]

I dunno, I missed both of 'em. I heard the Halloween Special was pretty good, though...

[darth_mcbain]

Yeah - I missed both of them too, I was pretty pissed about that...

Any more battles out there? I'm having trouble coming up with any more. Although both have been used already, how's about a consolation match:

Chewbacca vs. Worf
I think this could be a good one. I need to think this one through, but I'm currently leaning towards Worf... I think Chewie has the height and brute strength, but Worf is also strong and would be a more intelligent fighter (he knows that Klingon martial art). Besides, if hair pulling is allowed: advantage Worf... :headbash

Even so, that brings the total up to:
SW: 14 ST: 12

Can anyone come up with some more matchups? Unless some more matches come to light, I think Star Wars will be declared the winner...

[JMK]

How about an all-out war? The Empire vs Starfleet? Who wins?

[Doc Milo]

Let me try this one.

The Empire v. Starfleet.
This is an easy one. The Empire wins, hands down. Starfleet has that stupid prime directive. By the time they figure out that they should be fighting rather than making first contact with an alien species, the Death Stars would destroy Starfleet in one swift blow. No one with that pesky Force of the Light Side to guide their ships down the trench to the ray-shielded exhaust port. No cool robots to hide the Death Star plans in while the heroes make their grand adventure.

Starfleet is no Rebel Alliance. The Empire wins, hands down.

[Figrin D'an]

:lol at this entire thread. Very amusing. :)

I think we had a similar discussion over two years, during the summer after TPM came out. This reminds of that in many ways.

[Sanis Prent]

The battle of whiny kids
Luke Skywalker vs. Wesley Crusher

Even if Luke bitched about not getting to go to Tosche Station, he does have the Force, which is more than Wesley ever had, next to a can of pissed off nanites. Also, even when Wesley DOES get a gun, he gets killed in Toy Soldiers!
SW: 1 ST: 0

The battle of the doctors
Too One Bee vs. Dr. McCoy

Bones is ornery, southern, and right-out cool. 21B is a tin can.
SW: 1 ST: 1

The battle of the androids
Tag team of C3PO and R2D2 vs. Data

Anc C3PO thinks Wookiee's will tear his arms off? Yeesh
SW: 1 ST: 2

The battle of the smug captains
Han Solo vs. James T. Kirk

Solo. Its easy to be king of the hill when you're in command of the best ship in starfleet, but it takes a total badass to take a half-rusting piece of junk and turn it into the coolest ship in the galaxy. And hell, I'm a scoundrel. I side with scoundrels.
SW: 2 ST: 2

The battle of the guys with funky prosthetics
Lobot vs. Geordi La Forge

Geordi may be a bit of a weenie, but he can perfectly calibrate a warp core all by himself. Lobot requires input directives from Lando, and if the man's had a few too many Colt 45's...Lobot is a zero-factor.
SW: 2 ST: 3

The battle of the second officers
Chewbacca vs. Will Riker

Chewie's always thinking with his stomach. Riker's always thinking with the wrong head. Chewie sucks at holo chess and Riker will bet you blind at poker.
SW: 2 ST: 4

The battle of the assertive females
Leia Organa vs. Ro Laren

I hate assertive women. Get me a beer! Oh...I have to choose one? Um...Leia showed skin. She wins.
SW: 3 ST: 4

The battle of the security officers
Captain Panaka vs. Worf

Worf would rip Panaka a new ******* so hard, the Captain would get his teeth flossed by cold Bat'Leth steel.

SW: 4 ST: 4

The battle of the fat dudes
Jabba the Hutt vs. Scotty

Scotty's a bit pudgy, but Jabba is HUGE. You don't contend with things that enormous without the prospect of being eaten hanging over you.
SW: 5 ST: 4

The battle of the minds
Yoda vs. Spock

One can lift an X-wing. One can make a cool hand gesture. Not really a "contest" per se, is it?
SW: 6 ST: 4

The battle of the sleazy shop owners
Watto vs. Quark

Watto owns a craptastic junk shop on the dirtiest turd of a planet in the galaxy. I'm sure he's king of his regional cowpie...but in the grand scheme of things...it ain't that hot. Quark on the other hand, runs a bar, casino, and holosuite on one of the most traffic-filled space stations in the galaxy. I think its obvious who gets more "play"
SW: 6 ST: 5

The battle of the cyborgs
Darth Vader vs. The Borg

You know...you can only hack so many drones with a saber, or crush their larynxes with Force Grip, before they either A, overwhelm you, or B, adapt to you. Vader's good against the first half a million, but chalk this one up to the Borg.
SW: 6 ST: 6

The battle of the PuppetMasters
Emperor Palpatine vs. Q

Excellent Dark Side skill, great political talent, and witty evil lines...versus TOTAL OMNIPOTENCE.
SW: 6 ST: 7

7 of 9 V. Fett
Count on Fett to remain cool under libido pressure. He got all the play at Jabba's palace without so much as breaking a sweat. Another blonde bimbo with big boobs and cybernetic implants is just another roll in the hay for him.
SW: 7 ST: 7

The Battle of Cannon Fodder
Stormtroopers V. Red Shirts

Red Shirts have a reason at least to be annihilated. They are dressed in bright, easy-to-see outfits, have no protective armor, sometimes (when not using a tricorder) are armed with a phaser...and are hand-picked on away team missions to be human shields for the senior officers. When Kirk calls for "Johnson, from Engineering"...you know that guy's gonna piss on himself. He knows its coming...just like we all do.
Stormtroopers are just freaking absolutely inept. Armored, with better weapons, and outnumbering their enemy 500 to 1, they still manage to miss with uncanny non-accuracy. Add humiliating losses to EWOKS to the list, and I say pound for pound, Red-shirts would take them down.
SW: 7 ST:8

Battle of the Shady Con Men
Harry Mudd vs. Lando Calrissian

Lando's simply got the style...and what better pickup line than "Come join me in the city of the clouds". Add some good ol' malt liquor to the mix, and he's just too smooth.
SW: 8 ST: 8

Battle of the Furballs
Ewoks vs. Tribbles

Face it, Tribbles breed faster than China would if they suddenly adopted a libertarian government. The Ewoks might have taken on Stormtroopers, but there's no way they can fight attrition on this magnitude.
SW: 8 ST: 9

Battle of the Creators

Lucas is responsible for all of Star Wars. Roddenberry is responsible only for some of Star Trek. And that new series based on his stuff is crappier than even Howard the Duck!
SW: 9 ST: 9

Battle of the Babes
Oola and Leia in the Metal Bikini vs. 7 of 9 and T'Pol.

7 of 9 is alright...but not THAT great. T'Pol is pretty damn spicy, although both of these rate too high on the bitch meter for me to give them many points. Then again, Leia in the bikini isn't much friendlier, but she shows more skin, so it evens out. The winner is Oola, as she's got that cool La Vida Loca style, and hey...we all saw her boob. Admit it.
SW: 10 ST: 9

Battle of the Special Editions

The Star Wars motion picture was hella stupid. No special edition can save an odd-numbered Trek, even if its battling the Greedo blaster scene
SW: 11 ST: 9

Battle of the Bald Leaders
Admiral Ackbar vs. Jean-Luc Picard

One bumbled around in the face of annihilation until somebody else took the shield generator down, and somebody else destroyed the Death Star. Picard brought the pain...and blasted the Borg enough times they should've given him a superhero's outfit. And being a hero is strange for a Frenchie. Bonus points for not being a silly frenchie, and hiding behind the Maginot Line to eat cheese and drink wine. Oh well...he's British. Even better.
SW: 11 ST: 10

The Battle of the Bartenders
Wuher vs. Guinan

Two words. FREE BEER. Even if its synthehol, thats a force that nothing in the universe can stop. Guinan wins.
SW: 11 ST: 11

Battle of the Bumbling Idiots
Jar-Jar Binks vs. Barclay

Like Murtoch, Barclay was a bit...unstable in the head. You give this man access to engineering...and he'll make the A-Team look like the Golden Girls. Jar Jar...(sigh)...don't even bother.

SW: 11 ST: 12

Battle of the Studios
Fox v. Paramount

Fox makes more stuff than Paramount...who decided that casinos and theme parks (none of which are near me) were more important than movies. You turds!
SW:12 ST:12

Battle of the Flagships
Darth Vader's Star Destroyer vs. The Enterprise

A little-known tech nugget of knowledge, but the Enterprise D encountered a ship that used very primitive energy weapons called "lasers" (much like Vader's SD uses). These weapons were so inept, raising shields wasn't even necessary as the navigational deflector could more than handle the attack. This being said, the only way Vader's ship could beat the Enterprise would be to ram it. So I shall root for the underdog
SW: 12 ST: 13

Battle of the Shuttles
The Imperial Shuttle V. Crappy Star Trek Shuttles

At least the Impy shuttles have guns. Not to mention they look cool.
SW: 13 ST: 13

Battle of the Collosal Star/Planet Destroying Ships
Death Star I & II V. The Planet Killers & Borg Cube

Planet Killers, with their uber strong armor and nasty spikes and whatnot, make for pretty tough targets, but I think a Death Star shot could frazzle it quite a bit. However, I would use that first shot on the cube, otherwise it might adapt to the superlaser (if it hasn't done so already). With the Borg ability to adapt and exploit enemy weaknesses, they will either hit the ventilation shaft in their first shot, or send a time pod back to when the Empire was laying down the Death Star hull, and destroy it there. And lets not begin to think about an assimilated Death Star. As cool as the thing is...gotta give this one to the Borg/Planet Killer combo.
SW: 13 ST: 14


Okay, and a few from me:

Battle of the psycho clone warrior guys

Mandalorians V. Jem Hadar


Battle of the geniuses

General Dodonna V. Khan

[darth_mcbain]

Finally, someone who agrees with me that Vader wouldn't stand a chance against the Borg. I will say it would be a good fight, but the Borg just have the sheer numbers. Vader, while strong with the Force, is just an old man. I think the Borg would just gang up on him and take him down.

As for the other two matchups, I think I'll have to abstain as both would probably delve pretty heavily into the EU which I'm not too up to speed on. The Mandalorians are barely touched on (certainly not by name) in the OT, and Dodonna hardly has any screen time in Ep IV - but I think both have been expanded on in the EU which would provide input into these matchups...

[Jedieb]

Face it, Tribbles breed faster than China would if they suddenly adopted a libertarian government. The Ewoks might have taken on Stormtroopers, but there's no way they can fight attrition on this magnitude.


And being a hero is strange for a Frenchie. Bonus points for not being a silly frenchie, and hiding behind the Maginot Line to eat cheese and drink wine. Oh well...he's British. Even better.
ROTFL lol lol

Holy cow, French ridicule and savy political humor. I'm ashamed I didn't think of it first. Excellent....

But did I stutter?

A little-known tech nugget of knowledge,
I care not for technical journal minutia. The Super Star Destroyer Executor looks better and has a more intimidating name! Plus, it's never been comandeered by evil children with telekinetic powers, or freaks who color their faces black and white and play the Joker against Adam West's Batman.

Vader V. the Borg
So Vader loses because he can't handle a million Borg? With that logic Ewoks, Stormtroopers, Gungans, or even Red Shirts could take Vader down. Let's be fair, one reasonably sized Borg group at a time equals one Sith ass kicking at a time.

Right now my score cards reads SW: 16 ST: 11. Let's continue shall we?

Battle of the psycho clone warrior guys
Mandalorians V. Jem Hadar

Boba Fett versus second rate ST villians with cheesy make up on their foreheads. Did you people not see Jango giving Obi-Wan everything he could handle and more? The Mandalorians are ass kickers in ANY galaxy.
SW: 17 ST: 11

Battle of the geniuses
General Dodonna V. Khan

So what if Ricardo Montalban was outsmarted by Columbo. Columbo is an evil genius in a raincoat. He'd make the guys at CSI look like Nancy Drew with PMS. Slick villians with Spanish accents are no match for minor background characters who sign autographs at conventions for a living.

SW: 17 ST 12

[Doc Milo]

I think, perhaps, a better matchup for the geniuses would be Battle of the Evil Geniuses: Grand Admiral Thrawn vs. Khan.

[darth_mcbain]

Ooooh yeah... The little I've read of the EU includes the Zahn trilogy with Thrawn, and that would be a much better match for Khan than Dodonna. I don't know if I could call Dodonna a genius, but Thrawn, that's a different matter...

I think Thrawn would have the upper hand in that one. Khan is plenty smart and crafty, but Thrawn is just brilliant.

[Jedieb]

Thrawn V. Kahn
That one's actually good enough to take seriously! Granted, they both eventually failed in their attempts at domination. But they did enjoy great success right up until their eventual downfalls. I know there's a Trek EU novel about Kahn, but since I don't read Trek EU it's hard for me to compare Kahn and Thrawn. Thrawn is arguably the EU's most gifted tactitian. Taking the remnants of the Imperial Fleet and bringing the Republic to the edge of defeat was pretty impressive. I'd have to give Thrawn the edge, but reading that Kahn novel could change my mind.

[darth_mcbain]

As activity on this thread has dwindled (happily) in lieu of more interesting things to talk about, I think it only prudent that a decision be rendered...

While some have scored the matches differently, I feel the overall push has been in favor of Star Wars. Star Trek fought valiantly, but in the end, there was just no victory to be had for them. Star Wars is a worthy adversary and showed why it is the true winner in this battle. Good match Star Trek, better luck next time...


Winner: STAR WARS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :clap :clap :clap

[Jedieb]

Yes, yes, I concurr, the victor is obviously STAR WARS! Now we must SING!!

Ohhhhh Star Wars
Nothing but Star Wars
Give me those Star Wars
Don't let them end

Ohhhhh Star Wars
If they should bar wars
Please let these Star Wars
Stay...