Oh my God...I just had an epiphany!!!!

[Jubei SaDherat Vader]

I just realized why I was put on this planet!!!




To piss off as many people as I possibly can! :D

[TheHolo.Net]

This is supposed to be news to us? :p

[Jubei SaDherat Vader]

Shut up, forum! :verymad

OOOH...You're "omniscient" blah blah blah.

You know, sometimes omniscient is slang for being double-jointed enough to stick your own head up your butt. Yeah, sometimes "all-seeing" ain't quite what the candy-talk in the 2 year contract cooked up to be, is it?

So, you just gotta ask yourself if that kind of power is worth besmirching your mug with your own sphinctoral effuse...just to find a missing hamster.








































;) :lol

[TheHolo.Net]

He's in a mood. Everybody clear out!

:lol

[Champion of the Force]

He's in a mood. Everybody clear out!
Arrrggghhh - the sky is falling! :uhoh

(just been waiting for an excuse to use that smilie :) )

[Jubei SaDherat Vader]

:crush
..:uhoh

(GET A ROOM, YOU H0'z)

[Lady Vader]

Fuc%!!! o_O O_o :eek

He's finally lost it! (And seeing him saying that stuff with Jubei's name is just... wrong, somehow.) >_<

*Clears out before his terror rains on her.* :uhoh :x

[Seerrasseei Tsseerra]

Meh, tjisss nothjing to be afrrrajid of...... :mneh :cat

[ReaperFett]

Oh my God...I just had an epiphany!!!!


See a doctor :)

[imported_Firebird1]

:mneh

And this is news to us?

[Jubei SaDherat Vader]

Your official name is now "Slapnut"

[ReaperFett]

that a pet name for him? :)

[Jubei SaDherat Vader]

Watch it, Constable Buttersby, or I'll smite you in the ass with something suitably prissy and british-sounding...like the Jagged-Rusted-Candlestick-of-Valour (note, with the extra and uselessly unnecessary "u").

[ReaperFett]

just because we can add extra letters and remember them ;)

[Jubei SaDherat Vader]

In our glorious guerrilla campaign of independence against your evil empire, we found that certain things were inalienably "wrong". I've compiled a small list:

1. Mercantilism. Mining iron ore and cutting down trees so that I can ship them halfway around the world, wait half a year, and buy a hammer made in England for 20 times as much as if I'd just saved half a year and made it myself...makes about as much sense as plugging my ass with a helium tank to see if I can fly. Hell, we've already got Bill Gates. I think America has as much "wackass economics" as we can take...without prissy pomp & circumstance capitalism, via the British Empire.

2. Tea. I like tea. Obviously not as much as you guys, because you somehow managed to shut your entire country down at 4 in the afternoon to drink it. I'll give you that much...thats freakin inspired! I mean...America can't stop everything at once for any of its crazy past-times, like masturbation, or baseball, or something. Ah, but I do digress. At one point...we were inspired by fixed bayonets to be as tea-fanatical as the average guy in a powdered wig with a funny accent. You'd think this would promote comraderie with your quasi-slaves....but no, you decide to tax tea 3 gazillion pounds, or whatever you use for money these days. Now nowadays...I go to the local grocery store, and buy gallon jugs of Milos Sweet Tea. You know what? There's no big evil british tax stamp slapped on the side that'll force me to mortgage my left butt cheek. You know why? Because Mel Gibson kicks ass. Thats right. Do you know how many inept redcoats he killed, so that I could buy tea for $1.07? GOD BLESS AMERICA!

3. You're on the wrong side of the road!!! I know this seems trivial, and it probably is...but you know why the British can't understand their former colonial pawns? Its because they drive on the left side of the road! How many british people do you see successfully navigating the streets of the USofA? They're harder to find than a clean pair of Jimmy Hoffa's underwear. I mean geez, blokes...I've even seen armadillos and possums learn about the right-hand rule. Its this steadfast refusal to exhibit self preservation that also makes people dress in bright red coats, march shoulder-to-shoulder, and only fire at point blank range in a polite fashion. No wonder you lost the war! Thats like skeet shooting for retards!

4. Royal family sex scandals. And no...Americans are not perfect. Ever since ancient times, politicians have slept around. Its just one of those things you do when your hella famous, have hella cash, and can make laws like "Bow in the direction of my weiner, five times a day". But c'mon...its not something we TRY to do. We learned from you guys that we don't like way too many people in the "mess with our crap" aspect of government. So we try to keep the number of soulless bigots with omnipotent powers to A BARE MINIMUM. Now, the problem with Europe (I can't blame England alone), is that all of its money is controlled by a clique of inbred egomaniacs (royalty). These are people that have been sleeping with their cousins and building big stone things ever since Rome fell. They beat their poor, toothless serfs and take all their stuff, so they can build more useless stone things and impress their cousin. After a while, the laws of genetic wackasstitude come into play...and royal people get EVEN WEIRDER. Now, you got that whole Magna Carta thing down quick, and good for you. But not quite enough. WHY ARE THESE PEOPLE STILL IN POSITIONS OF INFLUENCE? I mean...you know they're pruning their family trees a bit hard...and they have more issues than a 4 year subscription to Sports Illustrated.

Now, back to my original point...politicians sleep around. Not a single damn country is innocent of this...and if they are, then they've got former SS running their media. Our politicians are GREAT at it. Clinton was a porn star who had the legal authority to launch tactical nuclear missiles. And I'm sure Tony Blair's found some knock-kneed nanny out of downing street and got her knocked-up. My point comes in the fact that you've got this whole other entire group (back to royalty) that has NO function in your government, only to now become utterly embarrassing and create even wackier sex scandals, complete with their inbreeding comedy!



Now...these points should be plenty to see the fallacies of the British Empire. Having useless vowels in words seems more of a token infraction, but one nonetheless. We got tired of writing all those useless letters in words that didn't need them...and rose up against your grammatical tyranny. You sent your redcoats in, and Mel Gibson kicked your ass! Then about 30 years later, you tried again, and we were so gung-ho about kickin limey kieshter that Andrew Jackson blew you up even AFTER the war was over.

Now you DID support the Confederacy...and I will give you some props for that. Maybe we took that into consideration when we saved you from utter annihilation a few times this past century.

So, I figure kicking your butt twice, then turning around and SAVING your butt twice gives us all the divine inspiration needed to spell words correctly.

And if not, my country has more nuclear warheads than yours does, and I win this argument.

Don't mess with Texas :)

[ReaperFett]

Saving our butts twice? Dude, if it wasn't for the forces who were there from the start (which btw, included Canada), there wouldnt be anything to save.

Still, I do like how you have to revert to this near-xenophobic stance to try to insult me :)

[Jubei SaDherat Vader]

Yes, it was a splendid "fighting retreat" at Dunkirk...I agree :)

And besides, we all know that Canada is just a pawn British colony. The only reason Manifest Destiny hasn't been carried out is because it isn't "PC" anymore. Besides...we'd only end up gaining 500 pounds of Canadian Bacon (crappy tasting ham), 400 gallons of maple syrup, one good baseball team, and one really really bad one.

and if you didn't know...this is satire for satire's sake :lol heaven forbid that little ol me offends you :eek

[ReaperFett]

oh, so we can be as offensive as we want eh?

US Missiles: Can hit the middle of a giant red cross, no questions asked.


Oh wait, better get in my bunker now. Im just about in range of stray missiles here

[Admiral Lebron]

Will somebody buy me some extra-crispy chicken?

[Jyener Celchu]

:uhoh







:mischief







:lol

[Jubei SaDherat Vader]

Blame Afghanistan. A big red cross in Pashtun must mean "PUT YOUR AK-47S AND STINGER MISSILES IN THIS BUILDING".

I'f you're in to donate a pint, and you see big crates of grenades and rifles...you know what...something must trip in your head about this being a military target, you nutjob!!! The last time I went to donate blood, I was offered a coke and a pack of oreos. I wasn't offered a fragmentation grenade and a Kalashnikov. Why...thats crazy!

[ReaperFett]

yeah, but I never thought Red Cross buildings were classed as military. Not one of the four is exactly what Id call dangerous.


Unless you are scared of food poisoning :)

[Jubei SaDherat Vader]

Exactly. They're such nice great places.

Hypothetically speaking...lets say I am OJ, and I just killed the World Champion Arizona Diamondback's entire roster. Of course, I'm crazy bloodthirsty OJ, so I like to kill people. Now, where am I gonna hide my knife and bloody glove? At OJ's house? In the white bronco? The first question anybody in America asks when there is a murder is "Where is OJ Simpson." I'd be more screwed than a phillips head in an episode of Bob Villa's deck building!

So of course I don't hide them among my property...as I am OJ, and everybody knows I'm guilty!

So, I put the weapon where nobody will ever look...with the olsen twins or something.

[ReaperFett]

lets say I am OJ
Loved the Naked Gun films. Your death scene in the first one? classic :)

Now, they werent hit because they were the Olsen twins. They were hit because they were aiming for something else.

BTW, that violates some convention, Geneva I believe. Bush isnt dumb enough to actually try for sanctions

[Darth Viscera]

My silly English friend, it is indeed a violation of international law to use Red Cross and other noncom buildings as weapons storage facilities. Not only that, it's almost as immoral as twenty years earlier, when the Muslims, in their fits of righteousness, decided to raise regiments of 12-year olds. Their task? Quite simple. To walk on areas that had been mined by their other righteous Muslim friends. So don't give us any of that self-righteous crap.

Don't like the idea that thousands of Afghanis are going to die in this war? Then do something about it, rather than blaming it on those old chaps in the "Colonies". Go on, the Northern Alliance and the U.N. could use volunteers in Feyzabad to build the first MRDE, actually give those people some adequate housing after this is over.

P.S. why wasn't I able to register as Darth Viscera? did someone steal my user name?

[TheHolo.Net]

Originally posted by Darth_Viscera
P.S. why wasn't I able to register as Darth Viscera? did someone steal my user name? As far as I knew, it was with permission. I even have an email that appears to be from you in regards to it. If you would like more information, please PM me about it, and we can get it straightened out.

[ReaperFett]

I meant to hit Red Cross buildings

ANd name one place I was being self righteous? Did I once say it was right or wrong? No. I personally do think that there were other things they could have done that would be better, but that wasnt what I was talking about, was it? Take it in context with this thread.

And name once where I blamed anyone? Last I heard, four countries are out there, and we are one of them. Bit more than Colonies

Oh, and Vis, is this your account?
http://www.swforums.net/forum/member.php?s=&action=getinfo&userid=263

[Darth Viscera]

'Tis okay. I was just afraid that, seeing how this server doesn't appear to be the same ol' swfans.net forum I was used to, that someone like Itala had registered DV. But if I signed for it then I signed for it.

[Jubei SaDherat Vader]

Actually, was stated quite clearly that "We hit precisely what we intended to hit".

You know...white flag or no white flag...without surrendering, its just a white rag being waved around. It has the exact profound moral significance of a chunk of peanut left over when I wipe my ass. Same with "military" and "non-military" targets.

Say there's a big happy theme park in Afghanistan called "Ramadan Fun Park". Its happy and carefree, cause its a family-themed Ramadan place of happiness and peaceful joy! Yay, frolick and dance in happiness and peace...because you aren't a military target. Uh oh...but Mr. Taliban dip**** guy decides to hide scud missiles and disguise them as Tilt-a-whirls. Your happy fun Ramadan Fun Park is now a happy fun missile silo...with all the targetable priorities therein.

Sure, they'll blame us for turning Ramadan Fun Park into Ramadan Smoking Death Crater Land of Amputation. And yes, we did turn all the happy fun people into beef stroganoff. Whoops. Seriously though...you think we wanted to? Don't blame us...blame Taliban dip**** guy. Why was he moving scuds into Ramadan Fun Park in the first place? Do medium range missiles get bored on their launch platforms, and want to ride waterslides and giant swingsets? If so...we should buy afghan smart bombs...but I really doubt it. What those morons are doing is heaping innocent people onto their military hardware...which is a crying damn shame.

However...if I'm in Kabul, and Mr. Mullah Omar kindly asks me to sit on an artillery cannon, and babysit it...I'm gonna have a few reservations about it. Hell...they're smart people. They've seen where their big guns are, and they've seen them promptly blow up from big explodey things dropped out of the sky. I would rather get an enema from a plank of splintered balsa wood than to get a suntan while laying across the barrel of a Taliban 88mm.

I mean, even if you're a masochistic little numbnuts...what kind of kick do you get from wedging dinnerplate-sized schrapnel out of your butthole? :lol

Okay...I really need to give the general populus of Afghanistan more credit than that. They are smart people. Thus...this leads to two options. One...the Taliban are forcing people at gunpoint to be human shields, or two, they're slapping pokemon stickers onto their artillery positions and making it the next best kiddie hangout. Either way...these guys are evil ****heads. More the reason to get them out of power.

[TheHolo.Net]

Looks at last post

I suppose it’s a good thing I enabled the censor a while back.

[Jubei SaDherat Vader]

:lol

**** **** **** ****

Damn....stupid V-Chip!!!

[Darth Viscera]

Oh, and Vis, is this your account?
http://www.swforums.net/forum/member.php?s=&action=getinfo&userid=263

Why do you ask?

[Admiral Lebron]

Forum. You're rich, buy me chicken.

[ReaperFett]

because when I checked the member list, I only saw one DV. I was wondering if that was you, as in what you are posting with. Just noticed it cant be anyway

[Darth Viscera]

Nope. Unfortunately, when college calls, I've got to accept the charges so I can get my A+ cert and later MCSE. I've got a substitute though...who apparently has posted 1 time in the last two months...odd.

[ReaperFett]

Uh oh, Vis has discovered cloning :)

[Admiral Lebron]

<-- Knows who the clone is, but isn't it.

[imported_Firebird1]

<img src=http://www.allspark.com/graphics/board/posticons/update.gif>

Update from Slapnuts!

LL has jumped over the cliff

Reaper is a dectective.

DV is a computer nerd, like who isn't.

And I'm Mike Wallace!

All this and Andy Rooney on 60 Minutes.


And now the short one word verson.....

Baka.

[Dalethria Mal Pannis]

Knows she missed something :| but is too lazy to read the entire thread completely :p

goes to skim :crack

[Lilaena De'Ville]

*raises hand* I'd just like to say one thing.

*puts hand down again*

No, wait, I don't. o_O

[imported_Firebird1]

Why, where is the other one?
*Runs away before anyone can smack him!*

[Lilaena De'Ville]

:rolleyes

[Darth Viscera]

I am the personification of a computer nerd, minus all those unfortunate inherent physical attributes that you just slap on to the stereotype. I couldn't find a pocket protector on eBay, and I found the hats with the propeller on top at CompUSA, but I'd already spent my last ten bucks on a Windows XP-compliant 10/100 Linksys NIC, and the rest of my money was tied up in stocks :(. It worked out for the best, though, because I made $430 off of AMD's stocks last week, which can buy many propeller-laden hats :). Let's see....more stereotypes...I don't wear suspenders because I believe that the body is more inclined to sustain horizonticality than verticality, I don't wear glasses because I'm too damn stubborn and lazy to go to Hour Eyes and I don't believe that nearsightedness is an actual, honest-to-god visual impediment, 'cept for when you want to look at streetsigns. That and politics.

I seriously hope that the Taliban front lines are reduced to dust sometime soon. We should send the Northern Alliance food, winter clothing, ammunition, uniforms, infantry fighting vehicles, TOWs, night vision goggles, Kevlar and many, many military consultants to train them how to use the stuff. If, once this war is won, we rebuild their economy like West Germany and Japan (some sort of Marshall plan neuvo), the crazies should have less of an ear, because the average Afghani family would have something to eat for dinner, and a bed with blankets to sleep in.

It's not just about defeating Afghanistan, it's also about making certain that they can never pose a threat to us ever again. We can do that by introducing them to prosperity.

[ReaperFett]

Im not involved here anymore, because joking turned to seriousness, but one last thing.

I see one problem with helping the Northern Alliance. They are murderers and so on too, just the lesser of two evils. A lot of the people the Coalition are fighting could still be using US arms that were given to them by the US to defeat Russia(think it was USSR then), and Bin Laden is(was?) rumoured to be in the tunnels the CIA helped him make. If the Coalition helps the NA too much, couldnt that happen again?

[Darth Viscera]

It would be nice if we could get the U.N. to elect the Northern Alliance officials temporarily, to prevent that from happening. That or somehow get CIA+MI-6 and the KGusedtoB people to hold the reigns a mite. Maybe the former Shah's son can help that region out, modernize it a little like he said yesterday on CNN. I'll ask my mom to ask him; they're acquaintences because they both left Iran in the same year, and he lives like 10 miles away in Potomac, and he comes to her boring parties for some reason. I've been trying to influence my mom to marry him (He's got hundreds of millions of dollars..I mean, he IS the son of the former King of Iran), but she's too timid about the fact that he's already married. Sheesh. :rolleyes

[Lady Vader]

*Blurts out into a song and dance number.*

"I'm skinny dipping in the rain... I'm skinny dipping in the rain..." :mischief


It was getting too serious in here. I can't abide seriousnessness at near 3am. I can't even see straight let alone think straight. I probably can't walk straight either. :crack

So, I'll keep on singing and dancing...


"I'm skinny dipping in the rain... I'm skinny dipping in the rain..." :p

[Darth Viscera]

At least use an umbrella LV. You know how cats are. A little playing nude in the rain and you'll have to run right back in and lick yourself clean again! :D

[Morgan Evanar]

*mesmerized, he watches LV. Nary a real thought swims through his brain. It takes a bit, but he finally manages to snap out of it.*

Actually, one of my cats doesn't seem to mind the rain at all. The other one gets right cranky, however.

[Gav Mortis]

Skinny dipping eh?

Well technically that's inevitable isn't it LV?

Considering you wear a paint-on cat suit (which is tempting enough) and then going out in the rain. From now on I'll follow the trail of paint to where it leads.

Purrr! :cat

[Mhalbrecht Dalarsco]

I like tea.
But I'm Canadian.
We are not pawns!
We are a ful country now, we just stay close to our roots.
Americans like you who think the are the greatest beings in the universe are what made Bin-Laden attack America.:verymad :grumble

[Sanis Prent]

(Shoots Ron with idiot beam)

No, a chemical imbalance in the brain is what made Bin Laden attack America! Seriously...you don't attack the greatest nation in the world that owns nuclear weapons, stealth fighters, death stars, and other cool kickass weapons of uber-killdom unless you are abso****inglutely insane. ESPECIALLY if you use box cutters and a few airplanes.

Seriously, I would not be suprised if they unleashed Voltron, the Terminator, and a few AT-ATs onto Kabul, because we've probably had all of them since the 80's.

And if Canada isn't a collective of pawns and wussies, then why is 95% of the Canadian population amassed on the border with America? They're either planning a preemptive strike into the abundant hills of North Dakota, or Dudley Dooright finally hopped off his special moose friend and realized that there isn't a damn thing in maple-leaf country except for snow and overly-friendly animals with warm fur. Either way...we should've dealt with them back in 1812.

Don't get offended...we Americans aren't all uneducated, fat, and illiterate. Most of those are in a place we call INDIANA, which is simply a concentration camp for the dumb. But the other 250 million of us know the truth. That America kicks ass. We look at all the mexicans hopping the fence into texas and california. Why? Because America is freakin cooler than their country with nasty water. Its the same with Canadians. We know why most of you (minus quebec) look exactly like us, and with the exception of "eh" and "aboot", talk exactly like us. You are full of "American wannabe-ness". There's nothing wrong with that. You've had to live next to our kickass country for quite some time, and I can imagine the envy it creates. I mean, even your evil controllers, England...they've got the same thing going over there...just a little diluted due to distance on the atlantic ocean and time zone discrepancies.

[Figrin D'an]

Originally posted by Sanis Prent
Don't get offended...we Americans aren't all uneducated, fat, and illiterate. Most of those are in a place we call INDIANA, which is simply a concentration camp for the dumb.

There are many people from Indiana, not to mention many from other states, that likely say the same thing about the state of Alabama.

[imported_Firebird1]

Ok LL has finally lost me!

What is he taking about again?

[Lilaena De'Ville]

:angel <--is me






























Thank you for tuning into LD's Random Comment of the Day! For more random goodness, AIM her at Sanis Prent ;););)

[Sanis Prent]

Oh Figrin...stop living in the past. True, at one point in American history, Alabama was the king of states when it came to bigots, racists, inbred white trash turd-head redneck uber-idiots. I'll right out and say it. But thanks to several events:

1. The Trail of Tears
2. The Great Depression
3. Joe McCarthy Commie Hunts
4. Chlamydia
5. Billy Ray Cyrus's career
6. Lower ticket prices on Greyhound
7. The Rise of the Jerry Springer Show.
8. The Purdue Boilermakers

...Those unsavory nasties have undergone a mass-migration of epidemic proportions. Now, whenever you watch an episode of COPS and see shirtless redneck domestic abuse cases, or see what guy is doing stripteases for his gay cousin on Springer...its never in Alabama. No...instead of cleaning our dirty laundry, we simply gave it to Goodwill! And since there's nothing but open expanse and corn in the great american midwest...where else to put these special, special people :)

Yes, we could've had a violent idiot purge, and hired Godzilla to do it for really low rates now that his career is washed up...but c'mon! Nobody wants to kill morons like that! They are freakin hilarious. Its like clowns...or people with parkinson's disease doing things that require dexterity. Ever since Seinfeld went off the air, America has been in a laugh crisis...and those wonderful people of the midwest are doing their civic duty! God Bless!

[imported_Firebird1]

:|

Becareful Sanis, you don't want to get me mad....
Me currently living in KS...

[Darth Viscera]

There are many people from Indiana, not to mention many from other states, that likely say the same thing about the state of Alabama.

Yep. They're called damnyankees. If they get on your nerves enough, Molotov cocktail their car.


But I'm Canadian.
We are not pawns!
We are a ful country now, we just stay close to our roots.

WOAH! Calm down. Jeez. I know that you're feeling patriotic and stuff, but calling Canada a country? That is simply taking it overboard. The population density is so nil that if you closed your eyes and dropped a 100 megaton atom bomb anywhere in Canada AT RANDOM, you've got a pretty damn good chance that you wouldn't kill any humans directly. It's more of a beachhead into the New World for the long-expired British Empire. It is a nation only in name, and more a collection of Du Jure American pseudo-states which would in fact be American states, were it not for your Mr. Secord, who unfortunately decided to mimick Paul Revere during General Winfield Scott's invasion during the war of 1812.

Canada, when you're ready to advance to the level of that of a United State, I believe you'll be welcomed in.

[Sanis Prent]

Yes, and in a perfect world, you'd like to believe that only Dorothy, Toto, and ruby slippers come out of your rectangular sub-kingdom. But I'm afraid that is no longer true...MUHAHAHAHA!!!

[imported_Firebird1]

Your right, we turned the Scarecrow loose in an open field with some cows, put the lion in the zoo, and turned Dorathy into a drug addict.


But that Tinman, he is accutally helping us, who do you think built Boeing? Who do you think built the tractors? Who do you think is making the wheat for the bread you eat?

[ReaperFett]

and people wonder why Americans get called arrogant :)

[Seerrasseei Tsseerra]

* :lol at most of this thread*

[Mhalbrecht Dalarsco]

The chemical imbalance thing was true, but Canada Kicks @$$!
We have stronger Beer, better skiing, more land, more, and for the most part better, comedians, computer animated TV shows, more protected land, more animal life, and more Pyros than the USA.
Remember, in 1812, we burned the Whitehouse!:mneh :cat
We are also way nicer!

[ReaperFett]

Id reccomend a flame-retardant suit :)

[Figrin D'an]

Originally posted by Sanis Prent

8. The Purdue Boilermakers

There's about 10 times as much dirt on the Alabama Crimson Tide than you will ever find on the Purdue Boilermakers.

Besides, I think the Indiana Hoosiers and their rabid Bob Knight fan-base can shoulder the blame for any idocy amongst the Indiana populous. :D





... or people with parkinson's disease doing things that require dexterity.

I know this was intended as a joke, but I really don't find that very amusing in the context you applied. Have you ever seen, first hand, the effects of Parkinson's Disease? It's hardly something to laugh about...
:(

[Darth Viscera]

Remember, in 1812, we burned the Whitehouse!


Of course you meant 1814, correct?

Oh, and no you didn't. The following BRITISH regiments/units were in the crack army of 5,000 that burned Washington:

4th Infantry Regiment (King's Own)
21st Infantry Regiment (Royal North British Fusiliers)
44th Infantry Regiment (Essex)
85th Infantry Regiment (Bucks Volunteers)
Royal Sappers and Miners
Royal Marines
Royal Marine Artillery

none of which were Canadian. They were British troops who were sent to Europe to battle Napoleon. In 1814, they believed that they were done as Napoleon had exiled, so they were sent to attack Washington.

If you want to learn more about the regiments that took part in the War of 1812,
http://www.militaryheritage.com/charts/regts_na.htm


Sorry to burst your bubble. :evil

[ReaperFett]

What is it with you North American nations and stealing our glory? :)

[Sanis Prent]

Yes I have, Figrin...its not their fault...but in an objective sense, its intrinsically comical. I served a guy with parkinsons disease a coca-cola one time, and he shook half the thing out of the cup when I gave it to him. I felt bad for the guy, but it was freakin funny.

[Admiral Lebron]

I come from Virginia. We get a lotta bad rap from the fact we share part of our name with the grody, West Virginia. Now, there are some states out there, Rhode Island for one, that don't have much open space. But, down South, in Virginia, we have lots of open space, half my state is mountainous and we aren't exactly a small state.

The only thing I don't get is why are Canadians always trying to destroy American Patriotism..? It's unbeatable. Just look at the Patriot. Mel Gibson killed redcoats after his two sons were killed! And in them Rambo films, he was out numbered 50-1, but he had a grenade launcher and an M-60. He took them all out. American patriotism just can't be popped by your Canadian mind controlling powers!

[ReaperFett]

Ah yes, Mel Gibson playing that racist, rapist slave driver :)

[Admiral Lebron]

Hmm. don't that movie.. but in the Patriot, he didn't rape any women, and he had no slaves.

[Lor Pallen]

Fett, please recall that his "slaves" were in fact free black people. And who did he rape?

Virginia rules! Don't let West Virginia get to you, it's just a puppet state that was set up by the damnyankees back during the war of northern aggression. Funny how it's legal to secede when it's in the best interest of the damnyankees, but illegal when it's not.

[Lady Vader]

*Looks up.*

Oh, look, it stopped raining.

*Looks down at self, and uses unbrella as coverings. Scuttles off.*

Oops, I did it again... :p :rollin


You may now return back to your regularly scheduled serious/funny/huh? discussions. :rolleyes

[ReaperFett]

erm, sorry what were we talking about?


:)

[Lor Pallen]

The topic is: Odd things you see when you are a fetus.

[Lor Pallen]

Anyone heard about Northern Alliance cavalry going up against Taliban tanks? I think I have a solution. See all those surplus Russian Katyushka rockets that they have lying around? Shove one of those up the horse's @$$, aim the horse at the tank, then ignite the rocket. The horse will impact against the tank, explode, and then the katyushka will detonate against the tank...all without the Taliban guys knowing that they're being fired on by rockets.

You can do it en masse also. Get a bunch of inflatable sex dolls at $20 a piece, put a crappy-looking camouflage northern alliance-style uniform on it, put these dressed up frauds on top of like 20 horses, each with rockets up their @$$e$ and aimed at Taliban tanks. Ignite the rockets, and boom! Perfect rocket camouflage!

:rollin

[Korran Horn]

Damn ur good:D

[Severen Morkonis]

coughs and ups his ready on American insulting**, right my dear...you like taking the apalout pee outta us brits??...i think if Reaper ain't gonna do it i will ...

1) First of all and quite simply the most stupid of all your damn phrases is " Trunk" as in car...dose the back of a car really look like the front end of a elephant..cuz if they do, im bloody blinnd.my god...speak sense man!!

2) who invented the English lauguage first??..ummm England?? therefore you guys spell wrong, if you spelt right you would spell the original way...that goes for driving on the wrong side of the bloody road to..and the U's are there due to our french invaiders...lucky for you guys you didn't get slaughtered in the 11th century now wasn't it...

3) in every bloody movie, TV program that comes from the US you portray us bitish to be posh talking rich snops with pocket watches and cigars....what kind of bloody crap is that? we have clearer accents than you guys cuz we are the originals and i for one am pof that this statement...other than that were cool...friendly and kind people....at times :)..

4) we love our tea of course...but again if you lived here you would be suprised that 88% of British people like to drink coffee rather than tea and we don't shut the bloody country down when we do it.....you guys shut your damn borders off when Super bowel is on or your having a major sports event.....ha bloody ha....MY GOD WE GOTTA GET HOME CLARESE OR WERE GONNA MISS FOOTBALL!!!! VOOOOOOM!!!...nut balls

5) i gotta bring this up due to irritation with the word....WHAT THE HELL IS A TWINKY!!!, why cant you just call it a "Cake" like everyone one else dose in the world...you the only nation that thinks up stupid, usless and irritating words in the whole of the western hemisphere..and probably throught the world

6) Yes, ill admit during the war you guys helped us and all heartly say thank you, but the fact of the matter is, you "DID NOT" win it for us, we werefighting that war 7 months longer than you guys and we held there raids off, we fought like lions and we pulled through the main assault on our country...you guys didnt get bomned every night from German planes like we did...London was completely abilirated..million inocent civilians died in London alone, and what did you get??...little bombs tied to a paper parachute that were sent over by wind, and did little damage,you never got constant bombing every single bloody night did you??...so shut up!...

7) Now that were on to the movie the patriot,did you ever cliame to realize that mel bloody gibson is an Aussie?? in retrospect hes not a US guy hes certainly not the hero you think he is and hes beating up his own men.....perthetic...Australians are outlaws that were sent from the UK to be in Aussie vill...there for you have a corrupt pshycopath that goes around baosting hes killed more people than a nuclear bomb and acts all big headed about it......a suprise for the Americans huh??

8) you would also be compleeld to hear that we actually invented the Harrier Jump jet "That you Americans have 14 sqaudros full of them" that you cant even invent for yourselves (with your superior inventors and technologies), and we actually invented the engine that could brake the sound barrier.....BUT the UK government didn't like the idea and you guys stole the limelight....again....big surprise there....AND not only that....but you guys use the best engines in the world to fly your stealth jets and stealth bombers.....Roles Royce....now correct me if im wrong...but yet again you use others greatest technologies??...hmmm....

9) Us UKers back you guys up hand in hand with your campaigns to grow even more big headed about your country, you did not have to bring up your big headedness about your country (being the greatest in the world) when half you are not only carcasian "American people with European origen" but you are British in a sence...THUS your taking the piss out of yourselfs when you call us names and galavant on about how crap our country is...when youcomplete this anlaysis on your self that you are actually a Brit in sheep clothing...gimme a shout...

other than all that you guys are damn cool... andi still wanna be with my american GF in Ohio (US) and i wanna livein the the US :)

[Sanis Prent]

we have clearer accents than you guys cuz we are the originals and i for one am pof that ths staitment

Tis all I gotta say :lol

[Severen Morkonis]

pof= Proud...mykeybaord sucks...when i type make a mistake then go back to type it again it takes up all the rest of the sentance...hard to explain...my statiment still stands :)

[TheHolo.Net]

Wonders how ashamed the other Brits are about Sieken's inability to locate and use the spellcheck button.

[Severen Morkonis]

Is it the one that says spellcheck on it?...if so mate its all been done :)...oh oh and i used it to....:)

[TheHolo.Net]

So "staitment" cleared the spellcheck eh? :p

EDIT: Ahh you fixed that one in your post with your tenth edit, but you still mispelled British in the same item number, or is "bitish" the way its spelt there?


Originally posted by Sieken Kasstra
1) First of all and quite simply the most stupid of all your damn phrases is " Trunk" as in car...dose the back of a car rearly look like the front end of a elephant..cuz if they do, im bloody blinnd.my god...speak sence man!!What is it you call the large piece of luggage that normally holds a large assortment of one's possesions?
Originally posted by Sieken Kasstra
2) who invented the english lauguage first??..ummm England?? therefore you guys spell wrong, if you spelt right you would spell the orginal way...that goes for driving on the wrong side of the bloddy road to..and the U's are there due to our french invaiders...lucky for you guys you didnt get slaughterd in the 11th century now wasnt it...You should consult a dictionary before you start ranting on the language. Your use of it is about the worst I have ever witnessed. Note: we added a spellcheck feature here.

Originally posted by Sieken Kasstra
3) in every bloody movie, TV program that comes from the US you portray us bitish to be posh talking rich snops with pocket watches and cigars....what kind of bloody crap is that? we have clearer accents than you guys cuz we are the originals and i for one am pof that ths staitment...other than that were cool...friendly and kindple....at times :)..Sanis covered this one.

Originally posted by Sieken Kasstra
4) we love our tea of course...but again if you lived here you would be suprised that 88% of british people like to drink coffie rather than tea and we dont shut the bloody coutry down when we do it.....you guys shut your damn borders off when Superbowel is on or your haveing a major sports event.....ha bloody ha....MY GOD WE GOTTA GET HOME CLARESE OR WERE GONNA MISS FOOTBALL!!!! VOOOOOOM!!!...nut ballsNever heard of the borders being closed during sporting events. But with ravers like you running around and wanting in, might not be a bad idea.

Originally posted by Sieken Kasstra
5) i gotta bring this up due to irritation with the word....WHAT THE HELL IS A TWINKY!!!, why cant you just call it a "Cake" like everyone one else dose in the world...you the only nation that thinks up stupid, usless and irritating words in the whole of the western hemisphere..and proboloy throught the worldTwinky is a copyrighted trademark, much like Pepsi and Coca-Cola. There are thousands of kinds of "cakes" available here and if they were all called what you suggested, people would never know what to expect.

Originally posted by Sieken Kasstra
6) Yes, ill admitt dureing the war you guys helped us and all heartly say thank you, but the fact of the matter is, you "DID NOT" win it for us, we werefighting that war 7 months longer than you guys and we held there raids off, we fought like lions and we pulled through the main assult on our country...you guys didnt get bomned everynight from German planes like we did...london was completely abilirated..3Million inocent civilians died in London alone, and what did you get??...little bombs tied to a paper paracute that were sent over by wind, and did little damage,you never got constent bombing every single bloody night did you??...so shut up!...Praise be that they couldn't afford to cross the ocean to invade our shores.

Originally posted by Sieken Kasstra
7) Now that were on to the movie the patriot,did you ever cliame to rearlise that mel bloody gibson is an aussie?? in retrospect hes not a US guy hes certainly not the hero youthink he is and hes beating up his own men.....perthetic...Austrilans are outlaws that were sent from the UK to be in Aussie vill...there for you have a corupt pshycopath that goes around baosting hes killed more people than a nuclar bomb and acts all big headed about it......a suprise for the americans huh??Who said Gibson was a hero? The guy is an actor as I am sure most people are aware. Are you?

Originally posted by Sieken Kasstra
8) you would also be compleeld to hear that we actrally invented the Harrier Jump jet "That you americans have 14 sqaudros full of them" that you cant even invent for yourselfs (with your supirior inventors and technologies), and we actraly invented the engine that could brake the sound barrier.....BUT the UK goverment didnt like the idea and you guys stole the limlight....again....big surprise there....AND not only that....but you guys use the best engines in the world to fly your stealth jets and stealth bombers.....Roles Royce....now corect me if im wrong...but yet again you use others greatest technologies??...hmmm....I used to work for a company that has created the next generation of fighter jets for the entire US military, Navy, Air Force, and Marines. It includes a VTOL system far superior to the Harrier. Exactly how many F16s are there in the British forces? The company I worked for also created that fighter. :)

Originally posted by Sieken Kasstra
9) Us UKers back you guys up hand in hand with your campaings to grow even more big headed about your country, you did not have to bring up your big headedness about your country (being the greatest in the world) when half you are not only carcasian "American people with european origen" but you are british in a sence...THUS your taking the piss out of yourselfs when you call us names and galavant on about how crap our country is...when youcomplete this anlaysis on your self that you are actrally a brit in sheeps clothing...gimme a shout...Sounds to me like you are mighty big headed about your own. The number of US citezens with English decent is far less than half these days. I actually take offense being called a Brit in sheep's clothing, as I have no English decent in my family.

[Severen Morkonis]

Nice comback...only do it to sanis's insults to :)..

oh and the F-16's we have none, the Mark 1/2 Tornado series run the show down at the British shores along with BB5 Road Hogs (support Gun fighters) the Hawk P1 and Linx choppers along with Brithsh made Chanocks...i cant rember many of the aircraft but i try

ever heard of our country shutting down dureing a tea brake?...err no

..oh...yes im aware Gibson is an actor...hes on TV right??..

Further more, i aplogise on the fact of english decent, but like i said,some are...

Im not big headed,im just comming back at sanis's little flip out back there..its called stading up for your country..he had no reason to start this patriotic argument up in the first place...

and if you have ever heard of deslexia gimme a shout my reason for not spelling correctly...

[Sanis Prent]

|I, its called satire. Most people can discern between a spiel of exaggerated and distorted exclamations for the purpose of humor, and a true legitimate argument. Fett could, and most others could. You should too.

And Dyslexia aside, a spellcheck feature will help you circumvent those kinds of errors.

[TheHolo.Net]

There must be some F-16s, because the company I used to work for had a large branch office in England too. Or maybe its just the technology underneath some of those British jets. Lockheed Martin has its business spread far and wide, but its origin and base of operations is right here in the USA. :)

PC support for rocket scientists was an interesting occupation. :lol

Speaking of rocket scientists; How many Brits have left planet Earth in the name of science?

[Severen Morkonis]

Well allies serve allies right?...you use our engines we use your, i must admit rather formidable tech...no..we don't use any F-16's, my brother is a plane enthusiast, i used to study passenger jets...Tornados and Road Hogs...like your A-10s Tanks Busters.....Road Hogs are made for Ground assault and Air to Air escort..i think the only US jet we us is a F-18 hornet, but even then they har a US sqaud based up in Bourton..(Northwest England)

I believe the reason why we have little Scientists in space is the fact we don't have a multi-billion dollar company like NASA sending them up...if we did we would be up there helping you guys...although i have no idea we don't have a NASA type company we tax on TEA right??:lol...

[ReaperFett]

can we close this? the "satire" veil is hardly holding out