GAV MORTIS! - Olympics Challenge!

[Darth Turbogeek]

I start at the train station, you are at the Aquatic Centre. the Opening ceremony is going to start in a few hours time... you are chosen to light the flame with a burning koala. I have to stop you, for cruelty to animals.

We continue this until we run out of ideas, or we die of old age. As discussed, the most insane/clever/immoral/silly post wins.

[ReaperFett]

you Aussies and putting out that torch

[Darth Turbogeek]

Oh, and others are allowed to join in the fun, but it is Gav v's me. You can use anything from the 28 Olympic sports as weapons, or from the venue.

:: DT gets off the train at Olympic Park, his black cape making in inconpicuous from al the other beings in this strange place. The odd smelly transport closes it doors and a whistle blws. The Jedi looks around, wondering where to go next. Somewhere, there is Gav Mortis and his evil polt to light the Olympic flame with a burning koala must be stopped.

DT loks around and sees a sign in alien script. He squints at a strange sign, then using a transltor book sees the sign said "Exit"

DT heads in that direction, up the stairs::

[Fenix Koth]

**Runs around in the outback, looking for Kangaroos to pull his Pod racer**

Damn things!

**Sees a wave of greenish things heading for him**

AHHHHHH @#%$! FROGS!

**Starts Running toward Sydney**

[Firebird1]

*Firebird1 arrives at the opening ceremonies.*
This should be interesting...

[Darth Turbogeek]

:: Dt comes up the stairs and see a place where the beings are walking through. He comes up and is stooped when the barrier wont move. He looks in puzzlement at this odd device. A person of sme importance comes up

"Hey you need a ticket!"

DT : Ticket?

Rail Attendant : C'mon where's you ticket!

DT : What's a ticket?

RA : Oh lord another who cant speak English. Look, to ride a train, you need a ticket or you get fined $100 dollars!

DT : Dollars?

RA : Credits, whatever, dosh, lira, kapesh?

Dt : 100 credits?!? to ride that speeder? Are you out of your mind?

RA : You under arrest for fare evasion!

DT : (Waves hand) You dont need to see my ticket

RA : I dont need to see you ticket

DT : (Jumps barrier) Go harras someone else

RA : I will harrass someone else

DT : Harras Gav Mortis

RA : I will harrass Gav Mortis

DT looks a the raill attendant as he walks off, wondering what could ahve created such an insane place

[Gav Mortis]

OOC: For reference, go here:

www.ozemail.com.au/~dbates/olympark.htm (http://www.ozemail.com.au/~dbates/olympark.htm)

IC: *Holding a blazing furry creature of some sort, Gav runs waving it in the air like a mad man on insane steroids. Many peculiar, odd looking creatures surround him, ducking, diving, leaping out of his way as he navigates his way through a rather narrow passage around a large open structure, surrounded by caging within which are trapped scantily clad females of their own species, wielding various objects, performing peculiar actions, on a wall, there is in large letters, this writing on it:

WARM UP ARENA

Gav baffled by the strange and primitive text this species writes with and even more at there horrendous dialect. Gav continues running, attempting to dispose of it by handing it to an unexpecting male who screamed in agony as he held it.

"Perhaps these creatures are dangerous to this species"

*Gav's mind continued to pose many similar questions regarding this species after he had retrieved the furry, burning animal from his possession. He made his way past a sign:

<--- WARM UP ARENA

AQUATIC CENTRE ----

He continued to run, and eventually came out into an opening between three large structures, the enormous opening wreaked with the odd species as they went about, consuming hideous looking things and drinking from tubes...

"Perhaps they are synthetic...cyborgs perhaps?"

The square erupted in terror as they saw Gav and multiple creatures ran towards him wielding primitive blasters and black buzzing rods, clad in black they neared through the ongoing chaos...*

[Liam Jinn]

::Liam walks in an underground tunnel. he sees some very weirdly dressed humans and asks a human with very long red hair coming out of his head a question::

Liam: excuse me do you know where Darth Turbogeek is?

Freak: who da hell dart turbaingo? who da hell you? wanna buy a harmonica? watch?

Liam: no..and i am Liam Jinn and its pronounced Darth Turbogeek jeez...strange

Freak: you wanna smell these pants?

Liam: what in the...

Freak: can you do this? ::p ulls a coin out of his nose::

Liam: oh dear god...

Freak: where?

Liam: oh just nevermind!

Freak: wanna feel my spikes?

Liam: NO!

Freak: hey do you ever just wanna be in public and start humping things? ::starts humping the tunnel walls::

Liam: Dear god man you are severely messed up!

::liam runs down to the other end of the tunnel and keep searching for DT::

[Darth Turbogeek]

OOC : Okay, i think people get the idea now...

IC : DT wanders onto a black strip, lookin amazement at this place, the beings and everything.

BLEET!!!!

DT turns to see a strange speeder bearing down on him! With the Force, he barely leaps over it as it passes, the name of what he presumed was the owner on the side

"HOLDEN, PROUD SPONSOR OF THE OLYMPICS"

Dt lands on his butt, he see several other of these speeder parked, all presumably owned by the same person. Wow. These speeders looked all the same and they were all owned by the same person! He moves off the black surface and away from the crowd that was gathering for some reason, pointing and staring at him.

"Is that Jackie Chan?"

"Maybe Tom Cruises' stunt double"

"Hey it Keanu Reeves!"

Hadn't they seen a Jedi before??

DT moves away, trying to blend in with the crowd.

[ReaperFett]

::A local walks up to Fett, and sees his saber
"Thats not a knife, THIS is a knife!"
"It's a lightsaber"
"Ah"::

[Liam Jinn]

::runs out of the tunnel in horror and ends up in an open feild with few people standing in it. All of the sudden a large stick goes through his robe and Liam stares in horror. "these people are hunting jedi!" he runs away with his torn robe into a small, cramped, extremely bad smelling place. he sees what appear to be doors sicking out of the wall and opens the door and sees a fat man on the can. "OH DEAR GOD AHHHHHHHHH!" Liam runs out of that small place and uses the force to sense DT. hmm Liam walks up on some black material and then sees a huge gathering of people. As Liam walks toward the crowd of people he sees a land speeder with wheels of some sort pass him with the rider saying to him "Hey mother @#%$ get off of the @#%$ing track dammit!" Liam starts to move off of the black material startled by the riders language towards him then thinks of something better. Liam uses the force to throw the rider off of his speeder and throws his speeder into a tree. hmm better he thinks to himself. Liam walks into the crowd and feels someone stealing his wallet and sees the culpret run off. "HEY COME BACK HERE!!" Liam goes off and chases the theif. when Liam catches him the theif starts crying and says..::

Theif:dont tell nobody please man i was just warming up!

Liam: who are you and where is darth turbogeek?

Theif: i am micheal johnson man and who the hell is Dart toiletqueer?

Liam: oh damn it nevermind!

::Liam takes back his wallet and walks away back into the crowd continuing his search for DT...::

[ReaperFett]

::Fett suddenly gets set upon by hundreds of the locals. Quickly, Fett pulls out his last chance: A can of Fosters, Fett throws it, causing the natives to follow::

[Liam Jinn]

::Liam gets out of the crowd and sees Reaper Fett standing there watching a crowd of people go after a large can.::

Liam: Hey Reaper Fett whats goin on man? and where the hell is DT?

[Gav Mortis]

OOC: I'm terribly sorry for not replying to this, DT.

Reason being is that I've been meaning to ask you about this on MSN IM, just before I make another post.

Once I'm ready to make the post I'll edit this OOC stuff out and put the post in here.

Once again, sorry about the wait.

[Darth Turbogeek]

Sure thing.

[Gav Mortis]

*As the law enforcers neared, people stopped running away and turned to watch the spectacle, the men surrounded Gav, and one leapt at him swinging some sort of stick only to be met by a flying onlooker as Gav threw her from the crowd into the attacker, both creatures fall to the floor. The other men approach much quicker now and they too are hit with airborn bystanders. This attracted the attention of other law enforcers who ran towards the scene, some were met by more human projectiles thrown by gav with the force whilst others sneaked behind the bewildered Sith and began prodding him with buzzing devices*

OWWW!!! That hurt!

*Gav shouted as shocks were sent through his body from the rods prodding him. He turns, jumps backwards then and snarls*

Now it's my turn!

*Gav throws the burning fury creature at one of the men who dives out of the way leaving it to roll down steps setting a childs hair alight. The horrific screams do not distract the Sith as static energy shoots through his body leaving his fingers in the form of lightning, the remaining men are thrown into the air from the blast and stop moving. Gav looks at the chaos he had just caused in a proud yet hazey manner, bodies lie scattered about the plaza, piled up in random formation. The crowd stare in silence, looking shocked as the manic individual runs after the burning ball of fur, he nears it as it comes out of a clearing. Unsure why he is pursueing this...thing, but it was his instincts and his mind was such a blur that he couldn't even remember how he'd got himself into such a predicament. He came into the clearing and dived as the creature rolled into the center of a hard, black surface, striped and marked at various intervals. As he dived his ears rang as an increadible honking sound filled the space around him, he scraped across the floor siezing the burning creature in his hands. Suddenly, a gust of cold air blew across his back, the ground rumbled and he was left in shadow as a huge vehicle passed over head. Moments later, there was a screaching, followed by an increadible crashing and finally a hissing. Gav leapt up in fright and turned to see numerous, large vehicles of various mechanical design mangled with flames roaring from the mass of devastation. He just about made out another sign through the flames, placed high upon the wall, it read:

DAWN FRASER AVENUE

*Gav turned taking a note of the sign, and was suddenly stopped in his tracks as he looked in awe at a huge structure, a building of enormous proportion*

Ooooohhhhhh!!!

*Intrigued by the sight, Gav takes steps forward, dropping the burning creature in the road as he proceeded. Suddenly is attention was diverted to a group of small robed figures standing together talking in an odd high pitched dialect. Above them, on the wall was a large flashing sign:

THE NATIONAL SHORT MONKS APPRECIATION SOCIETY

*Gav's eyes widened at the sight, his blood boiled as his hatred grew, he could smell the foul stench in the air even at this distance. He took his LS and ignited it's black blade and ran at the creatures...*

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! JAWAAAAAAAAS!!!!!!!!!

DIEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!

[Master Yoghurt]

Master Yoghurt is standing at a bus-stop on a desert road 35 km north of Sidney, trying to read the schedule..

Strange language this is.. some kind of chart.. for transports.. hmm.. perhaps the pilot let me on board will, hmmm..

Finally the bus arrives, pulls over to the side and opens the doors to let the green little creature enter.

Busdriver: Haha! Quite ah cohstume you have 'ere mate! Where are yah goin?
MY: Take me to planetary central city
Busdriver: Umm.. Sidney. 3 pounds, mate.
MY: Only republic credits I have
Busdriver: Tough luck, sport.. this is a monarchy, not ah republic.. wait for ah kangaroo to pick yah up.. ahahaha!
MY: But.. AHHHH!

The busdriver throws the little creature out of the bus, slams the dors shut and drives, leaving Yog behind in a trail of dust..

[Banestone]

*Suddenly Yoghurt sees the large ground transport swerve around on the crude road for several seconds before suddenly screeching to a halt. The small Jedi hears a smashing noise as the bus driver seems to be propelled through one of the side transparisteel windows... couldn't be transparisteel though, it would never break that easily although the noise was similar. White lights flare up within the reflectors on the back of the transport, and the ancient-looking vehicle backs up slowly until it grinds to a stop beside the bewildered and dusty Jedi Master. The odd doors of the transport shudder open and Banestone, sitting in the pilot's seat, motions him to step on up the tall and crude, badly formed steps*

You should have used mind persuasion... it's the only way I've found so far to get them to understand you. But forget that crap, I'm driving now. I took that strange savage pilot's memories, though, so I should know the way to this "Sid-Ni" he spoke of as the capital city of this planet. This transport is ancient and despicably slow... but I wouldn't leave even a Jedi in this forsaken desert of a hellhole.

[ReaperFett]

As Fett turns to see Liam, he sees a bad thing- The Aussie army.
at least 5,000 men, all riding Kangeroos and wielding Boomerangs and digeredoos start to charge, with a skirmish screen of Duck billed platapusses and wombats
"RUN!!!!!!"

[Firebird1]

*Firebird1 is looking around, trying to find the entrence to the arena.*

Where is it...
*He sees the Aussie army chasing Reaperfett.*

:lol:

[Fewdman]

:: Lands his ship :: "FETT! OVER HERE!"
"Aussies, may I please have your attention: the bar down the street is serving Fosters at half price, for the next thirty minutes."

[Darth Turbogeek]

10,000 screaming Aussies attack Fewdman

Aussie : How DARE YOU!!!

Aussie 2 : I wounldnt drink that piss if it was the last beer on earth!

Aussie 3 : Hey! VB over here! Plus a free BBQ!!

10,000 screaming aussies stampede the BBQ and the VB tent

[Fewdman]

:: Jumps under a park bench and tries very, very hard to not exist to the crowd. ::