FMH goes postal at work

[Force Master Hunter]

It happened... and I feel much better

I am getting an office move organised and done and I'm having every man + bantha wanting changes when it is now too late. Lots of arguments and I'm getting steadily more and more angry. Someone doesnt like their colour of their desk, someone wants the office rearranged... it went on and on and on.....

Anyway, the Office Fat Bitch (Sorry about the description, but if you knew this woman, you would know this is a vast understatement) decided to cause trouble. Yesterday she had a hissy fit fit about moving and packing. She HAD 4 weeks notice!!!!! Anyway, she didnt like her desk for some completely stupid reason....

OFB : Excuse me?
FMH : (Harried and exasperated, but polite) Yes?
OFB : I Iwant another desk
FMH : (Sighing) I'm sorry, I cant do that. If you dont like the floor plan, please see the Dircetor
OFB : Why?
FMH : Because he was the one who allocated seats. Unless he mandates a change, no one changes (That was actually the truth)
OFB : No, I want YOU to move ME now!
FMH : Sorry, I cant.

Now I'll preference this with the fact that in the office i'm known as one of the quietest and easygoing people knownNormally, Hello is all you can get from me :) I do my job and people like me and joke I'm the silent Administrator

OFB : WHY?
FMH : Because I'm not authorised to. If you want we can see the Director now....
OFB : NO!! YOU OMVE ME NOW!!!!
FMH : (Trying politeness again) Look, if we see the director, I'm sure he will....
OFB : NOW!!!!
FMH : I really cant...
OFB : YOU F****** NERD!!! NOW OR ELSE!!


So I've tried to be polite. But swearing at me began to make me see red

FMH : No. (Firm but polite)
OFB : NOW S***HEAD!!!

Allright. That's it. I I try to be polite for a minute while she's screaming abuse while my blood pressure is rising. Finally...

OFB : ........NOW YOU DO IT NOW!!!!

I swear she's drooling and I'm getting a spit shower

FMH : Didnt you hear me? (Queit but deadly)
OFB : I F****** DONT CA...
FMH : Shut up
She's stunned, but gets her wind back. OFB : DONT YOU DARE TELL ME....

By this time the Director is watching and so is the rest of the office.

FMH : I said shut up.

Now everyone is looking. I've said more words in a sentance than I say in a day. And I sound like I've had enough

OFB : YOU P*****!! DONT YOU TELL ME TO SHUT UP!!!

And then she pushed me

FMH : You have 5 seconds to apologise.
OFB : GET F*******, YOU DONT TELL ME WHAT...

I've picked up a broom handle, a big solid one by this time

**** WHAM ****

The broom handle hits a desk with a huge bang. She stops in mid bluster to see her own death reflected in the fury of my stare

FMH : (Quietly still) Leave now
OFB : no...

**** WHAM ****

FMH : Now.

By this time I'm walking closer and closer and she beginning to realise I'm serious and is backing away.

OFB : Dont you...
FMH : GGGGRRRREEEEEOOOOOOWWWWWW!!!!!!

OFB runs so fast she blurs. FMH chases her out of the office and as she keeps running I skid to a stop

FMH : AND DAMN WELL STAY OUT!!!!!

Comes back in with whole office just staring in wonder. And no one is daring to approach me ......

[Gurney Devries]

O_O

:lol: !!!!

For some reason, I find that extremely funny! That's one of the things you're going to be telling your buddies for a while to come.

[Reysa Sashara]

i serverly surrggest future people that need to argue at work with FMH need ether to build thereselfs a coffin, or just run out there door before you all dir horribly shortly before you get thrown out of a window...

*runs*

[Khendon S]

GREAT JOB! BETTER THAN MY FATHER WHEN THE PRINCIPAL TRIED TO GET ME SENT TO A SHRINK! (long story)

[Jyanis Scorpion]

Yeah man! Show that bitch! ROFLMAO

[DarthHERA]

Im sorry...but I find that hilarious!

:lol: a broom handle.

Did you really actually Growl?

[Force Master Hunter]

Yeah I did. Loudly :lol:

I feel soooooo much better. A few of you know what type of crap has been going to me at my work and it felt good to snap and go nuts for a few minutes.

[Teka Kenobi]

Wait..That's a RL story?!

:lol: WTG FMH!!!

[Krel Jedi]

Way to go, you handled (pun intended) that matter very well.
The only damage was to the broom and the desk and the next time time she'll think twice about going off on the quiet guy.

[Satine Capashen]

Good job FMH! :lol:

Now if only I could do that to some of my teachers...

edited broken personal pic and sig is too big. 30k limit

[PhoneLine]

:: Yoda Voice::

Hmmm, much anger I sense in this one...yes.


;)

[Satine Capashen]

:lol:

edit~ same reasons as before

[Keerrourri Sarrtarroa]

Some day, I'll have to tell the tale of going to Comp USA to pick up a few network printers for Corporate.

I love being a total meanie :evil:

[Elena Balthazar]

*claps*

I agree wit Alpha, I wish I could do that too!


*thinks*

Wait, I have done that.....

[Reysa Sashara]

FMH dude, what did your boss say?

[Darth Varlon]

FMH, I envy you. I wish I could do that to all the stupid clients I deal with each and every day. Good job, man..

:lol:

[JediBrain]

<<She stops in mid bluster to see her own death reflected in the fury of my stare>>

Wow..Awesome

:lol: :lol: :lol:

Brian

[Motorfish]

Force Master Hunter:

Hey! If you really want to get under OFB's skin, then refer to her as the "pie furnace" from now on.

[Albi Wan Yankovi]

:lol: to the story and to Motorfishes "Pie Furnace" :lol:

[Jeseth Cloak]

Damn... Remind me not to piss you off.

[Force Master Hunter]

Reysa - My boss HATES the OFB. He rather liked it :)

[Reysa Sashara]

applauds FMH for standing to her..

although the frying pan would have had much more affect

[Hart Kenobi]

Good job man. Damn, I hate those really fat domineering bitches too. It's so unfair that you can't take them out to the parking lot for a rumble just because they're women. Barely, but they're women nevertheless.

[CommonGround]

"Pie Furnace" :lol: :lol:

My god that was funny, classic.

MJ

[0neiros]

You know this qualifies you as one of those guys who walk around with a Swagger Stick. Anytime you have to get her attention, you walk up and smack her Desk (but not the one she wanted... WAH) to get her attention, and speak with a Vake Cherman Accent...Maybe stare at her through a Monocle, this should drive her out bubbering incoherently within a month or so.

[TK818]

I'm adding "OFB" to my vocabulary.

[Gurney Devries]

The quote is "I will show you fear in a handful of dust." :p

[0neiros]

I Know it is, BUT this is taken from the Promotional poster for the Sandman Comic line by DC/Vertigo. Morpheus doesn't deal in mere Fear, a good nightmare does more than leave you in fear of going to sleep, You're hitting the coffee...HARD.

[Lady DeVille]

...sometimes I wish I could go postal, it would be so freeing... like joining a nudist colony. OR, nothing like that at all.

:lol: FMH, that was so funny, and good for you! Can't let the OFB's of the world take over!

Edited Sig Out

[Ryu Warusa]

Thats hilarious, I've always wanted to do that to those damn cutomers and this annoying old co-worker. Man I hate people with attitude problems. I guess people would call me the quiet guy too. Hmm....

[Bazaar Jawa]

I wsih I coulda done that to this bastard at school two years ago....he was an @#%$ man.

[Lady DeVille]

*waves goodbye to her sig* I didn't know it was that annoying, Nup...

[Nupraptor]

It's not annoying: It's over 30k.

[Pierce Tondry]

I want to throw snowballs at our customers.

I work in the coffee bar/cafe at a grocery store. The coffee bar sells coffee, obviously, but it also sells ice cream and frozen yogurt. In order to mix toppings into the ice cream and not have the ice cream melt, we have a cold plate. It's essentially a frozen slab of marble that frosts over. At various points during the day, we're supposed to shave off the top layer of frost so that it doesn't get too thick. If you save that top layer and pack it down, you can make a snowball.

If only I wasn't working for a corporate outfit with a big image to maintain, I could pelt rude jerks with snowballs and get away with it.

If I have any rude customers the day before I leave the job, I think I'll do that. Now all I need is another job to go to and I can quit that bloody store.

[Valk Twilight]

If somebody makes me angry at work i just keep old prices on sales items. Its not really that much of a difference but I still get sense of victory about it, lol