The Cognitive Dissonance Theory

[Gav Mortis]

Inhaling the thick, moist air as he walked alongside the lapping tide allowing it to infrequemtly soak his feet as they were submerged in damp sand under his own weight. Looking out to the dull however somewhat breath-taking sight of a torrential storm approaching across the ocean, every so often, flashes of blue and white erupted from the heavy cloud, illuminating the shore and brightning the shadowed areas of jungle further inland.

He began to think with a clear mind; a rarity to say the least for now he was taking some time off and allowing the formal duties and obligations to slip from his thoughts, the chilling coastal breeze seemed to give him a freedom to think as he had been unable to do in the past.

"This was a much needed break, now you've got time to yourself you can't think of what to do with it, can you?

Heh, it's always the way Gav; you seem to be quite content with just strolling along on the desserted shores of a planet dominated by ocean.

There must be something to do; why are you here?

No wait! I can't start allowing myself to think like this again, no more "Why am I here?" or "What have I achieved so far?" it just causes my mind to turn chaotic like that storm...

But what have I achieved....what is it you're looking for Gav; what is it?"

Slowly trudging to a stop, he looks out onto the sea and before is unable to react is devoured by an enormous wave, throwing him off of his feet and carrying him further inland. He looks up in shock at the retreating water and chuckles to himself as he stands and removes his drenched shirt. The soaked figure just stands motionless in a small opening of jungle, and the rain bgins to pour although he is grateful for the protection provided by the arching palm trees, not that he could get any wetter but still it was comforting.

Gav crouched down and sat in the dry section of sand, took a sharp, jagged rock from nearby and with it drew a circle around him in the sand, he then threw it out into the sea and watched as it caused a burst of water to erupt from the violent waters. Finally, he shut his eyes, he sat cross legged, whispering verses of the ancients into the wind as it whistled through the trees, rustling above as they began to sway. Silent now, Gav meditated in peace and began pondering on the thoughts which plagued him earlier...

[Gav Mortis]

A boy sat alone at the edge of a pool, resting on the small wall that surrounds it; his mouth watered as he watched the fountain cascade into the water below throwing up gentle droplets, cooling his face with it's spray. Leaning forward, he dipped his hands into the pool, feeling it's refreshing cold as his finer tips sent calm ripples through the water, the rings spread out across the surface in a gentle motion.

- - - - - - - - - -

"Don't you get it? You will do as I tell you boy! NOW GET OUT!" roared a large, bulky man who had the same young boy gripped by the neck, his cheeks stained red with the irritation of his tears.

With a harsh push from the domaneering figure, the boys head jerked back and the rest of his body soon followed, powerless to stop himself. The thin, drawn face turned paler than ever with terror as he fell, collapsing onto the uncaring stairway behind. His bones folded under the force of the tumbling, the body thrown about as it hit each step, a tearing sound was heard just under the sound of his pounding ears, marking the moment the thin layer of flesh on his knee was ripped open on an unconcealed shard of wood.

A woman's blood-curdling scream was heard from below, filling the small space and she vomitted over the newly laid carpet upon hearing the sickening crack of the tiny head on the wall at the base of the staircase, and time stoppped.

Suddenly, the eyes in the lifeless face shot open and behind the glaring eyeballs there was a wild, almost insane terror. He started breathing heavily, gasping for air all around him, sweat soaked his face and it dripped fromhis brow onto the soggy sand below.

The figure began to sway back and forth, hyperventilating; the state of shock was almost life threatening; blood pulsated through every vein and artery in his body, pounding ears overwhelmed the sound of the crying birds above.

Gradually, he calmed himself, the swaying slowed to stillness and his heart beated steadily against his chest. His breathing still heavy from the experience, but slowly he reegained himself and with great difficulty pulled himself to his knees. Unfortunately, his strength was still that of a young child and his muscles and bones ached; Gav collapsed, burying his head into the thick sand. He digged his fingers into the sand and dragged himself across the awkward surface, making his way towards a large boulder.

His face was covered in dark, brown sand and his eyes were glazed, his body was stunned with fatigue. Minutes passed like hours, the body worked it's way towards the weighty boulder, navigating over pebble's and around uprroted shrubs. Finally, he placed a hand on the course rock surface above him, and scraped and clawed at it, pulling himself to a sitting position and he leaned against it's cold surface.

He closed his eyes, clearing his mind of the pain that surged through every muscle and bone in his body, contemplating on the recent events and reflecting on his meditation.

Soon he opened his eyes again, realising that his entire body was shaking, his limbs were uncontrollable due to the immense ice cold daggers that stabbed him all over and looking down, his hands were an eerie blue tinted by the white, icey breath that left his mouth.

Suddenly, it had occured to him and he couldn't even jump from shock and his head snapped up instantly, his eyes wide, scanning the beach front, desamated.

Trees were scattered everywhere, the beach was a mushy green from the uprroted shrubery littering it's once golden sands, winds howled overhead, luckily he was midly shielded by the boulder. The sea was still wild but seemed to be gradually calming; it was the aftermath of the storm.

His weary eyes surveyed the snady shore which he had just crawled across and truely enough, there it was; at the start of the sand disturbed by a crawling trail was a circle etched into the sand and it was in that circle Gav had sat in deep meditation whilst winds ripped trees from the ground and water had covered the ground, metres high.

Damn!

[Tourment]

OOC:very comendale,the imagry that you vets and some newbie's emote is amazing.how old are you?

[Gav Mortis]

OOC: Thanks man, I'm 17.

IC:

Time slipped away like grains of sand through an open palm, minutes cascaded for hours and Gav lay motionless, now breathing calmly however drunk with fatigue. Catching, in his nostrils, a breeze of cool air laced with salt his nose twitched and wrinkled slightly, then the salts hit the back of his nasal cavity and his head jerked up instantaneously.

Wide eyes; red and irritared, scanned the beach front devastation, toppled trees, there long, leafy canopies were torn and scattered accross the beach along with the uprooted shrubs from way inland which had been dragged out to sea.

Growing somewhat imaptient, Gav burried the tips of his fingers into the damp sand whilst sifting his right foot through it creating a heap of sand as his left foot had done before. He was regaining the use of his muscles and so finally, he clammored to his feet in great discomfort, his legs felt rigid and unsteady under his own weight and he staggered forward, then backward, then forward again, making progress gradually.

"Argh!" exclaimed Gav as his right knee clicked when he swayed to once side.

The pain was to say the least distracting, however the Sith made an attempt to focus his actions without being dependant on any negative emotion to will himself forth and he found that immensely difficult.

I don't need anger to walk, damn it! Nor do I need aggression to eat or hate to sleep, surely I'm not becoming that dependant on the Dark Side, am I?

He continued; dragging one leg across the sand and then the other, wincing at every step forward but not for one moment falling back on negative drive factors as a source of strength. Frequently pausing, gasping for breath, supporting his upper torso by resting his hands on his thighs which trembled under the strain.

Come on! Move...move....move! Focus; rely on only your natural attributes, emotion isn't neccessary to carry out something as simple as walking!

On he went. Staggering forward, bending over with exhaustion and wiping his face dry, clammy from thick sweat, hot and oozing freely from every pore on his body. His head started to spin, he felt claustraphobia; he was encased in an unescapable tomb and the pressure relentlessly builded to overwhelming strength upon strength, forcing Gav down to one knee.

He started to tremble, violently. In an attempt to relax and support himself, he pulled each elbow onto his thighs, and rested his head in his boiling hands, which shook whilst running the sweat out of his hair.

F*CK!....why is this so difficult?

....

I don't...need the Dark...Side....to do this...

He struggled to keep his thoughts organised and controlled, it had never been more difficult.

Pounding heavily against his ribs, his heart pumped desperately, each beat sounded throughout his entire body and echoed inside his ears. Slowly, hia head slipped against his leg and he looked behind, under his arm pit and realised to unbareable disamy that he had barely moved.

......

Closing his eyes, silence filled the air and darkness swept the land, there was nothing but only feeling. Calm, he was almost at peace and settled, the pain began to drift and the pressure which pushed down upon him began to ease away. There was harmony...

......

He opened his eyes again.

"No." he whispered to himself.

"No!" he groaned in a pitiful manner, looking on to the distance he had travelled, recalling the distance he needed to travel.

"No!" he cried, the pain began to creep back into his bones.

Suddenly, he stood upright before the pain became too much again and started to take steps forward, the pain soon became agony. Then, with an unmerciful, volatile blast the Darkness came crashing down upon him again.

It all came back, he shook and trembled, the sweat soaked his body once again, the heat and pressure overwhelmed him leaving him little air to breath and his face began to tint a horrendous blue.

He staggered and stummbled, flailing about from left to right with no sense of direction and he felt saturated by the darkness around him, it pierced his flesh and penetrated his figure and with great strength threw him back, off of his feet, crashing to the ground, back in the sand where his journey had begun.

There he lay, hopeless. The frustration was unbareable, the fear and pain; intollerable and finally, the walls were smashed down. Immediately, the darkness came flooding in, filling his veins with the most blackest, unwanted desires.

"Yeeaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrgggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!"

Suddenly, in that immensely powerful cry of despair, the anger which had been welled up inside for so long was released and unleashed upon Gav himself. Torrent after torrent of hatred surged through his being, he was powerless to stop it now and it grew and it expanded with great speed.

To his suprise Gav found himself standing and moving, running infact, deep footprints were embedded into the sand which was thrown up high into their as the Sith came closer to the lapping water.

He had the blackest eyes and the most frightful power ripped through each molecule in his body, dark power which he was powerless to control now.

Stomping up to the front of the water he threw his hands into the air, letting out an insane cry of an evil magnitude, suddenly the lapping water exploded upwards soaring high above him to either side. It cascaded to the ground with crippling strength but the Sith stood, undisturbed as it fell from his figure.

Gav took one last immense breath.

"Now I, too am evil; I have become the darkness that destroyed me!"

With that, Gav fell too the ground his head splashed into the lapping water, exhausted he fell, motionless; in a deep, dark coma.

...........

Gav's battle was lost, and so ended his dissonance...

...and the Dark Side had won!



OOC: EDIT:-HTML

[Gav Mortis]

Gav's figure lay silent and undisturbed some time after his fall, he was sprawled out on the shore and infrequently the foaming tip of the sea reached up touching his cheek in the sand. His trousers were still damp, but not soaking anymore and were decorated in sand, as was his bare back hinting at the toturous struggle he had fought earlier.

Once again, the water rippled up the gently sloping shore, touching his cheek leaving some of it's foamy surface on his face buried deep in the sand. As the water began to withdraw, an eye opened suddenly and glared, wide open. Moments later, the eyelids closed over gently as Gav recovered from the shock of the cold, wet sensation on his face after he had woken from his sleep.

With a gentle groaning, he brought one arm forward and gripped the ground before him and then did the same with the other. Gaining some leverage, he pulled his knees forward and tucked them into his waist, arching his back and allowing him to lift his upper torso from the ground.

For some time he knelt in that same position, slowly becoming accustomed to his discomfort of being cold and wet, the breeze didn't help either. Above, the sky was grey and dull, it almost seamed featureless, but after a little concentration Gav noticed the cloud drifting slowly in the air, making gradual progress.

The sound of the vast ocean that was dispersed before him was soothing and theraputic, the more distant waves roared in the distance, crashing down with mighty strength throwing a foaming spray up into the air, whilst the water at his knees gently lapped, almost sounding like a shhh sound.

Gav closed his eyes but didn't shut himself off from his surroundings, he wanted to experience them. For each breath, he savoured the taste of fresh, moist sea air in his nostrils and in his throat, the sensations were enriching. At one point, he found his head nodding and he had to pull it back up with a stressful jerk from his neck, he found it difficult to not fall asleep.

"Hmmm" he sighed "This isn't going to do me any good, it's too cold, I'll sleep back home."

With that, he opened his eyes and rose to his feet not thinking about the strain his muscles were under earlier and he certainly had no difficulty this time, apart from the clicks of a few lazy joints as he stood. With one last deep breath he looked out at the panoramic sight of the unsettled sea; tossing and turning like an arrogant child, restless in bed.

Gav turned his back on the ocean and began making his way upshore, carefully stepping over any fallen trees and avoiding the desamated plant life, sprawled carelessly across the sandy beach.

It is not unknown for the weather to get rather rough around this time of year here, but that storm was a bit overwhelming. It was stronger than the usual and I chose to sit and meditate through it.

Gav smiled to himself and chuckled at his own foolishness.

Trust me to sit through a storm; no wonder I'm exhausted, my muscles and bones are aching. It must have affected my head too; those hallucinations were unnerving to say the least.

He continued walking at a steady, relaxed pace into the damaged forest, ducking under and climbing over the odd collapsed tree trunk, he made his way into the thick forest and eventually disappeared behind the layers of green.

I can't wait to get home.

[Master Yoghurt]

The storm started to settle. The warm beams of sunlight broke through the thick blanket of clouds spanning over the sky. The leaves of the forest ceased to rattle and whispered calmly, asking the mighty Sith to stop. A few meters away, Gav sees the edge of a pond where birds steps to drink water. Tired of walking, Gav decided to stop for a little while. Looking into the blank surface of the pond, he could see the mirror image reflection of himself.


Suddenly, a breeze twirled over the pond in a fast paced dance. Its footsteps created ripple patterns. The wind stopped to a still and there was a complete silence. The water transformed from a rough texture to a blank surface again, but something had changed. Instead of his mirror image, he could see straight into the deep of the pond. There seemed to be no bottom of this pond. The sight range extended deeper and deeper.. and deeper.



A surrealistic scenery appears. It is at the bottom of the ocean.. the very same waters he just had walked from. A spectacle of teeming life appears. A giant fish lizard swims by. The local population of Chad III calls it the cy'een tyra. This ferocious predator swims searching for phosphorant tubular eels. An eel is spotted and the hunt begins. The eel sees the danger and with a swift motion, it seeks cover behind some corals. The fish lizard grits its razorsharp teeth together. Determined, it sweeps its tale toward the corals, smashing it to pieces, causing the cover to fall. The eel is now exposed, and takes a defensive posture, ready to fight for its life. The cy'een opens its jaws as it reaches striking position. Moments later, there is a mist of blood. When the mist clears, both predator and prey is gone...



The image blurs again, and the outline of a tiny figure wearing robes emerges. This one Gav had encountered under the most intriguing circumstances. It was Master Yohurt, the old Jedi Master. But unlike the last encounter, there was no sign of hostility to trace in the Jedi's eyes.



"To Dagobah system you must go. Once there.. find the answers you seek. Not to late."



As Gav Mortis woke up from his trance, the image disappeared, and his reflection could yet again be seen on the surface of the water.

[Gav Mortis]

Puzzled and bewildered, Gav knelt in the soft grass around the pool of water motionless, he watched himself blink numerous times and then shook his head in disbelief.

Damn, that storm caused more problems than I'd anticipated, more hallucinations?

He leaned forward over the pool, hesitantly dipped his hands into the cool water, cupped them and scooped some up throwing it onto his face, he gasped in sudden shock at the sheer coldness of the splash of water which was now cascading down his face, dripping from his chin, sparkling in the emerging sunlight.

There, that's much better. Perhaps now I'll be able to focus!

Rising to his feet, Gav took one last glance at the pool with uncertainty, turned then walked off, going deeper into the forest, occassionally getting pricked by outcropping thorns or tripping on tree roots emerging from under the ground. He was obviously a lot more unsettled than he'd previously been but blocked it from his thoughts.

"I could've sworn it was just around here somewhere, unless I took a wrong turning" he said to himself as he cleared a clustered of trees, leading into an opening.

"Ah, at last!" he said, stepping down the side of a small valley and making his way down the gentle slope.

There at the base of the slope, resting on the edge of the plain, over the glistening, fresh grass was a large, dark infiltrator vessel, Gav's personal ship The Demon.

Once inside, relaxed by the familiar thick smell of oils and metal lubricant, Gav sat down and rested deep into his leather chair, he felt like he was being devoured by it and almost fell asleep right there, listening to the ramp at the rear of the ship close. He started when he heard the clunk of the ramp closing tight behind and began the lift off process.

The engines hummed as the various lights in the ship began to flicker and glow, the structure of the ship rumbled as it lifted from the ground the hum becoming a high pitched whining. The engines fired a brilliant red as the ship reached the neccessary height and the engines screamed with power as it screeched through the atmosphere with frightning speed.

En route to Zeus Command Gav pondered on the events that had taken place and indeed the most peculiar of all; the vision of Yoghurt in the pool, before that the fish and he couldn't help but attempt to piece the jigsaw pieces together and failed numerous times.

A few moments away from base, Gav made decision and suddenly the nose of the infiltrator turned upwards the rest of the ship following, the engine's incinerated the tree canopies below as the ship soared upwards vertically, the engines heating up from the tremendous power output and their screaming echoed throughout the air. Finally the ship broke the atmosphere and the engine's calmed to a relaxed hum whilst the ship floated in orbit about the planet and whilst Gav plotted a course.

"So Yoghurt, you wanted me to go to Dagobah eh?" he said, in an almost challenging tone.

The Infiltrator ripped free of the planets gravity and finally the engines roared and exhausts hissed within the ship when finally, the familiar star-streaked picturesque sight filled Gav's eyes as the ship errupted into hyperspace.


I wonder what he want's?

[Gav Mortis]

Inside the Infiltrator there was a domaneering presence of silence, the small, confined spaces were hidden under a blanket of shadow, hiding the interior shape of the ship in darkness. In the center of the cold metal floor sat Gav, cross-legged, peaceful and still. He didn't move and didn't seem to be breathing, his skin was pale and as cold as ice whilst the inside of his ship was intensley hot. Externally, he seemed relaxed, peaceful and calm, but on the inside there was a different story to tell.

Over the three weeks of hyperspace travel, he had reformed to a regular routine of converting his body into his own personal temple in which his most deepest, darkest desires were carried out. He would be in this meditative trance for a period of five days without food or water, he would then wake, eat, drink; then resume his meditation.

There were no signs of any negative emotions or feelings physically, that was because they were trapped inside his subconcious and they grew inside his temple. Feelings of frustration pulsated through his entire nervous system, this created innitially annoyance which develloped into anger and this vicious anger was injected into his veins and was pumped throughout his body, enpowering his muscles and his heartbeat steadily increased as he did so. In his sixth day of meditation, the frequency of his heart beat had become so furious that it develloped into a low pitched hum, beating against his rib cage, his muscles became tense and aggresion surged through every bone in his body but it was locked away and deprived of being released. Now, the frustration, anger and aggression had combined and united to become one insane rage that errupted from the darkest depths of his being, volcanic strength pulsated through his body but it was only seen internally, by Gav. He had became so trapped by his own rage, he was unable to escape and slowly, his health began to deteriorate.

- - - - - - - - - -

Days later and Gav had develloped barriers to the pain he endured as the ferocity of his own dark side overwhelmed him from within, but even those barriers wouldn't last forever and he would be his undoing. To focus, he had created a single subconcious image which ironically enough was created by the negative emotions that harm him, the image was a tree.

Gav himself had sown the seed of his own fear and from this the tree began to grow and took strong root in his own self-doubt and weakness, the soil was rich with inferiority and was easily penatrated by the powerful roots. Tears of pain and sorrow rained upon the sprouting tree and it reached upwards towards the source of it's nourishment, it's host, Gav. Feeding from his anger, it began to grow and an alarming and uncontrolable rate and as much as he tried to stop it growing it kept overpowering him, he was tangled in it's branches and pulled down towards the ground, fighting with all his aggression which didn't help. Branches grew outwards and upwards, growing thicker; gav hated himself for letting himself become overpowered by what was once a small, sprouting tree and he hated himself for his own inferiority and weakness. A large, thick, bushy canopy had grow and casted a dark shaodw upon Gav, cutting him off from the light of the sun and it's warm rays; he shivered, now waist deep in the soil.

Finally, he was up to his shoulders in the soil, cold, dark and alone with no means of escape he accepted his loss and was prepared to become consumed by the trees seductive, overwhelming roots and allow life as he knew it to slip from his grasp. Then, with that moment of acceptance, he became strong and powerful, tearing free from the soil with ease, he stood on his own two feet, strong and successful. Trying to step out into the light he found it pained him to do so and was unable to move into the light, the searing heat hurt too much. So, he climbed the tree and rested comfortably within it's thick canopy, entangled in branches and vines, feeling strong but was only able to look out into the world beyond but never experience it.

Suddenly, whilst he found comfort in the shade of the canopy, resting within it's strong branches, they suddenly began to creak and break, shards of bark broke away from the trunk and instantly crumbled away in the soil. Leaves fell to the ground, one by one allowing the light to break through it's protection leaving Gav without his false security he was subjected to the light and within that instant his entire body burst into flames, but his screams weren't heard from within the encasement of vines, branches and leaves which finally caught fire and within minutes all had burned to the ground. All that was left were the blackest remains of the most worthless existence. The embers glowed orange and red as they floated to the ground, glimering with color.

The light flashed red and orange inside the cockpit as The Demon left hyperspace and approached Dagobah of it's own accord. The pre-set approach vector was implemented and within minutes the vessel had entered it's thick, damp atmosphere on an appropriate landing trajectory near an opening of forest. The engines howled and the mist glowed an firey red from the ship as it landed beside a small stream, the regular cries of native creatures filled the air once again as the engines settled to a whining and then died away.

Inside the ship, all was silent, and Gav now lay motionless on the floor, dying in a deep coma, suffering from massive ruptures of blood vessles near his brain.

OOC: Yog, take it from here. Do whatever you see fit, thanks. :)