Fate's Delusions: A Gentler Kind of Violence [Completed]

[Jalib Brandl]

(OOC: Semi-Closed, by invitation only. Continued from here (http://pub50.ezboard.com/fiamajedifrm4.showMessage?topicID=6.topic).)

Far from the last vestiges of civilisation, he walked, a solitary figure lost in his own thoughts. The green and shady sanctum of the forest in which the Jedi Order had made its base had been long left behind, and the vista before him opened up into a continuous plain of weathered limestone, cracked and fissured in long tablets which spread into the sea not far. Overhead, the sky hung like glass, grainy and azure with an infinite span of light between itself and the ground. In the distance, the hills shimmered in a heat haze. He walked straight into this openness, amazed by the immensity of it all. This was a place of ridicule, a place where human things were cut down to size. no amount of pain or happiness would ever amount to anything in such openness.
A giddy fit took hold of him as he gazed around. He gave in to it and raised his face to the sky, then howled as long and hard as he could into the blue air. It was a weak thing, pathetic against the scale of the place. It wilted and dropped to the ground a few feet beyond his mouth.

Feeling even smaller and more insignificant than he had before in the face of such vastness, he yet felt a gentle peace wash over him. This open space was the perfect receptacle for his doubting thoughts. It would diffuse the old logic as he was fighting with the new principles he had to accept, would swallow up his doubts in stone and sky and spread it into the four winds.

Sworn to absolve from any forms of violence, resolved to never touch or carry a weapon that would inflict violence or death upon another being, he had come to the Jedi to find inner peace, to join them on their mission to bring peace to the Galaxy.

And yet, it seemed as if Fate was against him. After his first introduction to his new Master, Morgan had asked him to consider hand to hand combat training.

Training in hand to hand combat? He didn't much care for the word "combat", yet he knew that he would have to have at least some way of defending himself if he kept up his resolution to deny his right to have a lightsaber. Why not learn a few combat moves?

'Because it would not change anything about the fact that it begets violence,' he told himself. 'If I have resolved myself not to cause or effect any kind of violent action, then I am going against my own word if I let myself be trained in combat.'

'Then here's a paradox. The Jedi are sworn to peace, yet they have to effect that peace in many cases with their weapons. In many people's eyes, possession of a lightsaber equals being a Jedi. The Jedi are feared more than revered by some, for the awful power they hold. Yet all they fight for is peace. Which is in itself an even greater paradox. Fight for peace?'

Jalib stopped and stood still, gazing at the dolmen before him that stood profiled sharply against the sky. At the distant edge of the plateau, where the green of the forest began, dark birds rose and wheeled into the light.

'I could insist on no form of fighting, yet when I joined the Jedi, I did so because I agreed to follow the Jedi creed and agreed with their ways. Yet now I find myself at odds with my resolutions. The Jedi have no other choice than to fight if there is no other way to establish peace - but is that really the path I want to take?'

With a sudden darkening of the sun, and a sudden rush of air, a black shape fell out of the sky and struck the earth at his feet. The bird - for such it was - lay there on the dry ground, its head buried under its breast with one of its wings outspread.

As he watched the bird lie there, the wind slowly breezing through its soft feathers on a breast that did not beat anymore, Jalib's own question seemed to find an answer.

'I have sought out the Jedi - I agreed to become one of them. I shall agree with their ways also. Yet, if this brings me in the way of violence, I shall not answer it by dealing out death. Even if it means my own death.'

'Yet this also does not mean that I can not fight. Is fighting really violent when used in a defensive way? If I choose to carry a sword or a blaster with me, or fight with my hands alone, does that automatically mean that these are the only option, that my hand will automatically take up my sword? No, it is not, and I shall abide by that.'

He would not have a lightsaber, however. The horrible image of his father's furious face looming over him, his lightsaber held high over his head ready to stab down at him, ready to kill, flashed briefly before his eyes, then vanished again, leaving an icy cold shudder running down his spine.

'A lightsaber it shall not be, yet a blaster seems too unelegant for a Jedi's weapon. But have I not held many a sword in my hand in my days on the stage? Shall it be a sword then? A real sword, without the dreadful associations that the lighsaber has to many species in this galaxy?'

Jalib nodded to himself, detaching himself from the stone he had leant against. He would find Morgan, and tell him of his new resolution. Then he would see what to do.

'The training can wait. I need this sword first.'

Never once, as he walked back at an eager pace, did he question his own choice. The Jedi that had come here pondering about the futility of violence, returned a Man eager to defend a creed he had not wished to accept.


The black bird that had fallen out of the sky as if in death, raised its head. Like mankind, it had tripped over itself, lost its balance, and fallen out of the sky in fright. Now it spread its wings again, to soar up into the sky towards an uncertain future.

[Jalib Brandl]

It was almost dusk when he returned. The long hours of the day had escaped him in his contemplations, leaving him with a sense of vagueness, as if the solutions he had found for himself were shadowy and fleeting like the hours passing by.

He felt feverish, his emotions and senses heightened by something strange, something unknown, something exquisitely unique.

For years, he had not cared what would happen to him, had not shown an interest in life, in the people around him, but now... now it had changed. And he did not know if that didn't scare him more than anything had before.

Yet it had to be so, and no longer was he the same. He would be content with what he was, and with what his life would bring.

Still, he had one more thing to do, one more quest to make, and he would need Morgan's permission to do so.

How strange.. that I should once again need someone's permission to follow my own path. That I willingly seek it out, even, for I don't think Morgan would really care much either way about what I intend to do, short of turning to the Dark Side.

He had a good idea where to find his eccentric Jedi master - somewhere buried up to his shoulders in a machine of some kind, and there was only one place with that sort of equipment; the ship hangar would be the best bet.

True enough, he found Morgan with his head inside a ship engine, his droid by his side; yet when Jalib arrived, his teacher looked up and at him, wiping oily fingers on his tunic.

Jalib didn't waste much time, and came straight to the point.

"I need to find something. Something important. A sword that my family once possessed. If I am to train as a Jedi, and if I have to carry a weapon, then I think I should find the one that is mine by birthright."


EDIT: slights change in continuity

[Morgan Evanar]

Morgan finished wiping his hands on the old tunic he used as a grease rag.
"Well, considering your previously stated near paranioa of lightsabers, sounds fair enough. A good sword is a bigger surprise than a lightsaber nowadays. In the meantime, would you like to borrow mine for now while we are training? Or are you going to go trapsing off in search of your own steel?"

[Jalib Brandl]

Jalib frowned. Had he not just told him of the sword he needed to get? The sword that was his? Yet, Morgan seemed to have completely overheard this - or had he already forgotten it?

Again, he explained.

"There is a sword that belongs to my family. For generations, it was handed down from father to son, and it was my father's at last. We both used it in many plays we were in together. I wish to find it."

A little more quietly, he added,

"I do not know if it's more out a personal sense of history, or if I am trying to make up for the past. I only know that I'd like to find that sword."

He hoped this time Morgan would understand. He had to go - had to go and search for it, although he had no real idea where to start looking. It wasn't even sure if the sword still existed.

Jalib looked at his Jedi teacher, desperate for his approval. He hadn't known how Morgan would react to his sudden change of mind, and his almost absent-minded response now did not do much more than fuel his doubts that he had made the right decision.

[Morgan Evanar]

"Family heirloom? Well..." He reached into his jacket and removed his massive Desert Eagle handgun "...I understand that. Actually, this could prove quite interesting."

Jalib continued looking indifferent. Bastard was getting too impatient. Not good. How would somone wise deal with this? Say no? Say yes? Wraaaaaa, there were no easy answers sometimes.

"I'd say you could borrow my ship, but chances are, CAD would try to kill you, so thats out of the question."

Jalib looked confused. "CAD?"

"CAD is my droid that pretty much decided to meld itself into the ship's computer. Very temperamental driod. The ship's computer is fairly indifferent for the most part, but that astromech is over-protective of the computer. The only person who could move the ship is Nupraptor."

"So Jalib, how do you intend to get wherever you are going?"

[Jalib Brandl]

That was the part he hadn't thought about properly. How was he going to get off the planet and into space? When he had arrived on this planet, it had not been in his own starship - the few credits he had had remaining didn't buy him more than a berth on a very run-down passenger cruiser.

He'd in fact only managed to get to the Jedi by bribing one of the security officers on the Jolle Tinta into letting him smuggle himself on board the supply shuttle for the small colony.

Going back the same way as he had come, and engaging in a little bit of planet hopping on board another passenger cruiser was next to impossible - the exorbitant price he had paid the security officer for turning a blind eye had more than made a dent in his savings; it had depleted it entirely. So bribing another officer into letting him on board, was out of the question.

The less preferable option was to ask Morgan to give him a loan of a few hundred credits, and a lift to the nearest planet with a spaceport on it. Yet why should the Jedi trust him enough to do that? After all, they had only known each other for less than a week.

But it was the only option he had right then.

"Well... I thought I'd try to get over to the nearest spaceport somehow, and take it from there. I've lived in enough of those run-down spaceport planets for the past 12 years to know my way around them. I'm sure there'll be something coming up."

He hesitated, and reconsidered his options, but still he couldn't not think of any better one.

"As for getting there... well, I wondered if someone here was possibly flying out soon - so I could catch a ride with them?"

[Morgan Evanar]

"I'm ready to fly whenever you need to. Aside from trips to Courscant to see old friends to keep up with the times, I haven't been up to much. I don't think anyone else will be leaving anytime soon, either. It would be a good opertunity to talk and do a little zero G training."

Morgan really thought it wasn't a bad idea. Besides, it would make it easier to keep tabs on Jalib, who was behaving oddly. Then again, Morgan wasn't overly familiar with his padawan yet, so maybe this was normal. He hoped not.

[Jalib Brandl]

He had more or less expected Morgan to say he'd help. Yet this sounded more as if the Jedi was determined to come along on the entire journey.

And that was more than Jalib was prepared to bargain for. He was about to embark on a journey he didn't yet know where it would lead. A journey back into his own past... How safe was it to bring along his Jedi Master? Not that he feared to get into any danger he could not somehow pass, but that was just the problem: He knew the dangers he was to face, and bringing a Jedi along who might see these things in a different way - it might lead to complications.

Yet should I not try to do the same? I am trying to be a Jedi - is it not my duty to see that no such dangers present themselves?

Jalib didn't want to insult his Jedi teacher, however, and he genuinely felt grateful for the offer. There wasn't much he could say other than to accept. He'd have to deal with the other problems when they presented themselves.


"Ahh... well, I'd be most grateful if you came along. It's just... well, I don't really know where this will lead. I have a place I want to start with - a small opera house on Corellia my father and I once visited. There are some people there who might know others, and... well, the usual thing. Someone is bound to know something about the whereabouts of that sword."

[Morgan Evanar]

"Jalib, quit being so nervous. I'm here to help." said Morgan with a slight smile. Jalib was still cleary nervous. If I lack social grace, this guy have me beat in spades. But that seems to not be the main problem. He is worried, but why? What could trouble him so? Is it the history associated with his father tied into that sword? It really is best that I go along.

[Jalib Brandl]

Nervous?

Yes, he supposed he was nervous. But yet, did he not have reason for it? What was happening to him, to his life? Within the last 24 hours, his entire life had been changed, thrown around, made a mess. The difference... well, the difference was like night was to day.

Yesterday, he had abhorred even just so much as the mere mention of the word "violence" - now he was about to embark on a search for a weapon that could kill.

Was he already doubting his own choice?

No matter what his doubts at this minute were, however, he was determined to follow this path. And determined not to let Morgan see how truly uncertain he was.

He forced a smile on his face which he did not feel able to hold for long under the Jedi's scrutiny.

"Well, I'll try... When shall we leave?"

[Morgan Evanar]

"Whenever you like."

[Jalib Brandl]

Time had passed.

For Jalib, the hours were creeping along, confined as he was to his cabin on-board Morgan's ship. What seemed like many days to him, had not been more than one in reality.

He well knew that Morgan had looked forward to starting his training, had wanted to take this chance to talk more with him. Yet Jalib did not want to have to speak with his teacher, did not want to have to look him in the eye and show the doubt that stood written so clearly in his mind.

For doubt he felt. It grew, and blossomed in his mind, drowning out all his new resolutions. Doubt that he had made the wrong choice, that he had been too quick in his assumptions, that he had been too hasty to change his mind so drastically.

So hour for hour he sat, brooding, in the small confined space, not daring to go and meet his teacher's questioning eyes.


Time had passed.

Morgan sat in the ship's cockpit, fingers idly playing with the multi-tool he had used last to fix a loose screw on the navigation computer console. In front of him, out of the view screens, the blurry darkness of hyperspace raced past.

The nav computer pinged.

Almost reflexively, Morgan's hand pulled the hyperspce lever back, and the starlines slowed down to single mottled lights in black space.

Ahead, a row of brighter planets stood out bigger than the others. Two twins, spinning around each other, and three big single ones, all circling slowly around a yellow sun. The Corellian system. The destination his taciturn student had wished for.

[Jalib Brandl]

He felt the ship come out of hyperspace, slowing down, the hum of the engines lowering down to a quiet droning, almost a whispering in his ears.

Jalib sat propped up on his bed against the bulkhead, his knees drawn up, his head on his arms. His mind was blank, his thoughts turned inward, upon the future. He did not wish to think about the past, or the present, only what was to come next.

The past was a black hole, the present was chaos. Only the future mattered now. It would bring order. There was hope in the future. It would change everything.

The future...

Multi-coloured lines, swirling images, the future racing towards him... an old gnarled man in a dark place, with frightened eyes. Voices, so many voices. A face - the face of a woman with pain in her eyes. A valley of ashes, nothing grows, dark mountains looming overhead. The woman is lying on the ground, twitching, her lips that were drawn into a cruel smile a moment ago, opening to scream in agony yet no sound appears. Her face...the face tumbles away from him, swirling, swirling into the darkness again, leaving him wiht a dread of something he has no knowledge of.

His head came up with a start. What had he seen? The past? he knew the old gnarled man, yet he had not him as so ancient in his memory. The woman... he did not know her. Was it then the future he had caught a glimpse of?

What did it mean? Why was it that his heart and mind was so filled with dread at what he had seen? Who was the woman? What would he do to her to make her suffer so much?

He groaned, silently, to himself. He had tried to discard the thoughts of his father, tried to fill his heart with hope that he would never go down the same path as his father had done. Yet now, seeing these images... why did he feel it would be him? Feel again and again the silent fear that he would once be like his father, be worse than his father ever was?

Was it never to end? Would the past never let him go? Why did he fear himself so much? Every hope that he had was inevitably overshadowed by his own heavy burden.

Where was the calm now, that had befallen him when he had joined the Jedi? Where was the peace? Gone so suddenly?

Was it because of his change of mind? Was that what had brought the waking dream, what had made it so vivid, so deadful?

Slowly, he got up from his bunk. He had to get out, had to get away from the walls that suddenly seemed to fall in on him. The cramped space inside the ship did not help, yet he suddenly needed to hear another voice besides his own, needed to see something else than blank grey walls.


Morgan was sitting quietly in the pilot's chair when he reached the cockpit. He looked up when Jalib walked in.

[Jalib Brandl]

"How long?"

The words came out as a croak. Jalib hadn't realised how dry his throat was until now. And the sight of the planet, the first step on this quest, was something that struck him with apprehension and made him nervous.

If Morgan had noticed the return of his student's nervosity, he didn't show it.

"An hour, maybe two. We've been cleared by the authorities - now we just have to wait for clearance for the spaceport."

He looked at him, once more curious.

"Do you mind telling me what you want to do here? If you want to look for this sword, then why start searching for it here?"

Jalib stared out of the front screen down onto the green and blue specks of the planet below. Somewhere on that big green speck was the city, was Treasure Row. And a ramshackle booth belonging to Margo Flarestream, an old woman who had once worked for his father. She was the first one - she would know others.

His thoughts returned to Morgan's question. Not looking at his Jedi teacher, he replied,

"Because the path begins here."

Morgan frowned.

"The path? What path?"

Jalib thought of the time his father had brought him here, introduced him to the small community of fellow thespians. It had been here where Jalib had had his first success on the stage; father and son had played alongside each other, in the time-old drama "Uhl Eharl Koehng", a masterful performance, many had said. So much time had passed since then. Would anyone remember?

"The path of my father's corruption. It was here I saw him last in peace, before he returned to his evil ways. There are people here still - people who will remember him from old. One of them will know more. One of them has to lead us to the sword."

He did not add that it was his only hope, his only lead.

That second, they got the clearance from the spaceport authorities. It did not take long afterwards to approach the planet and follow the beacon to their assignated landing pad, but time seemed to drag as the two men sat in awkward silence.

[Moranda Savich]

Another ship was landing. It seemed Corellia was getting a bunch of new visitors this day - odd, really; there wasn't anything big happening.

Moranda detached herself from her position on the window-sill, and put the goggles down.

<This isn't any good at all - I need to be out there. Pepper isn't just idly sitting by, waiting for the stuff to come to her - she'll be out there getting her grubby hands on the stuff before I can get to it. Frell this, I gotta be there!>

All the cursing in the world didn't change anything about the situation. It was totally her own fault for missing her window of opportunity back on Coruscant. But she was right - sitting here waiting didn't accomplish anything. If Pepper Flarestream had any brains at all, she'd be there overlooking the deal like a hawk.

"Time to go stir up Treature Row, sweetie," Moranda mumbled to herself as she grabbed her hat, coat and keycard, and let herself out of the dump the landlord had rented her instead of an apartment.

Outside she climbed onto her swoop bike, and hit the pedals. Treasure Row was waiting.

<img src=http://delirion.clanpages.com/siglab/Moranda.jpg>

[Jalib Brandl]

As they walked towards the center of the city, they could hear the noise of the crowd rising. Treasure Row was near.

Jalib had hit the information terminals as soon as they had left the spaceport. And had hit luck straightaway - instead of having to spend a long time going through the listing of the local merchants, the first thing he'd seen was an advertisement for "Pepper Flarestream's Antiques Emporium". It seemed the woman had come into some money, if she could afford expensive advertisements like that.

The two Jedi were on their way now, striding through the crowds. Jalib was keeping a tight hold of his pockets - he knew enough of Corellia to know that the closer they got to Treasure Row, the more would they catch the eye of the various low-lives infesting Treasure Row. He hoped Morgan knew as much.

A garish neon sign flashed high above the others as they entered the huge plaza where Treasure Row was located. Sure enough, it was another one belonging to "Pepper" Flarestream: a huge arrow pointing to one large round building in the center, bright lights dancing around its display windows.

Jalib shook his head in astonishment. The woman he remembered hadn't been the type of person who would have wanted a shop like this. Something must have happened.

A swoop-bike they hadn't noticed before came rushing down towards them, its engine housing brushing past Jalib's leg as it sped past him. Something snagged at the cloth, tore, pulled him along - he landed face-down on the dusty street. He grimaced, and swore at whoever drove that thing. The occupant must have heard him for she turned on her seat and flashed him a smile. It was an elderly woman.

Morgan stood there looking after the vanishing bike, holding out a hand to help Jalib up from the ground.

"So? Where is this person you want to meet?"

Jalib dusted off his pants as well as he could, and stared at the huge blinking arrow looming over the plaza. He mumbled,

"Just follow that arrow..."

[Moranda Savich]

Her malicious grin faltered as she got nearer to the round building.

<Damn that woman for having the gall to make her shop the center of everything around here! She's sitting in there like a big fat spider waiting for her prey in the center of her own carefully spun web... and no one can escape. At least not from her attention.>

Moranda uttered another silent curse as she saw Pepper step up under the doorframe of the shop and watch her approach.

<Well, ain't this just peachy! I expect next she'll roll out the red carpet and invite me in for caf and pastries!>

As she brought the swoop to a halt in front of the shop, and took a closer look at Pepper, she saw the object slung around Pepper's shoulder: a length of silver-spun ottegan silk.

"Emperor's black bones! Damn that woman to hell and back - how in space did she know? I could have sworn the shipment hadn't arrived yet... Vader take her soul - she tricked me, before I got the chance..."

Mumbling angry curses to herself, she climbed from the swoop and made her way over to the woman at the shop's entrance. Pepper made no attempt to hide the triumph standing in her eyes - with a wicked little chuckle, she bid Moranda to enter.

Moranda was fuming with anger. This trip had cost her a fortune in credits, not to mention the services she had to pay for that fence, and what for? To be outmaneuvered by a second-rate old hag who knew too much for her own good.

"How?" she managed to ask, at long last.

"Well now, Miss... Savich, isn't it? Did you really expect me to be foolish enough not to suspect if someone comes and offers me the same amount of the same kind of goods that I just purchased and is so adamant that I should have her contacted 'just in case anything unfortunate happened'? If that hadn't tipped me off, then that fence you sent to me asking for just such an amount of silk definately would have - where the skies did you find such a bad actor? No, I'm afraid I saw right through your little scheme a---"

The old woman abruptly broke off, and stared over Moranda's shoulder at the door, a look of shocked recognition standing in her eyes. Following her stare, Moranda turned to see what was wrong.

Two men were standing at the door - one looking slightly bored and very out of place, and the other dusty and very much determined. It was the young man she had almost run over earlier. Moranda sighed - they had probably come to complain about that. But then why had Pepper reacted like this?

Moranda took another look. Her eyes took in the younger man's features, then they widened with the same shocked recognition that stood in Pepper Flarestream's eyes.

"Adalric!" she gasped.

[Jalib Brandl]

Jalib felt confused. Not only did "Pepper" Flarestream not look anything like the Margo Flarestream he had known - except for her age - but her surroundings just didn't agree with his memories of her, either.

Yet it was the same woman - the look in her eyes as she stared at him now told him enough.

But why was the same look written on the other woman's face? He had never seen her apart from the short look she had cast backwards at him as she was speeding away on her swoop. It was obvious she knew him, and also obvious she had not recognised him before.

Then he heard her. "Adalric," she had said. Jalib looked at her, stunned.

"You know of my father?"

[Moranda Savich]

Moranda and Pepper both took another step backwards, then asked in unison,

"Your father?" --
-- "Jalib Brandl?"

Moranda heard herself add, "Adalric was your father?", but she didn't know why she felt it necessary to ask about something so obvious. The young man onviously was as bewildered as she was - as Pepper was as well.

<Of course, this brings up the question how and why Pepper knew Adalric, how she knows the lad's name, and what the heck is going on here???>

The silence grew, as they looked at each other, embarrassed. Finally it was Pepper who overcame the first shock, and who rushed up to Jalib and threw her arms around his neck to hug him close, at the same time showering him with a veritable waterfall of questions. Moranda grimaced, and turned away. Open shows of affection always made her old heart squirm with discomfort.

"... My dear boy, where have you been? We haven't heard from you for such a long time. What are you doing here now? I was so sorry to hear about your poor father's death..."

Moranda decided that she had enough - the boy probably needed a break from that incessant babbling, too, and remarked,

"Bah - the bastard got what he deserved, nothing more, nothing less, if you ask me..."

They both turned to stare at her.

[Jalib Brandl]

Pepper's eyes turned a shade and became icy-cold as she stared at Moranda. Jalib could feel the dislike for that woman rolling off her in waves. And for all that he hadn't liked what his father had been, he, too, didn't appreciate the woman's response to his father's death.

It was time to have some of his most burning questions answered, and he'd make her answer them, if it was the last thing he'd do.

"Who are you? How did you know of my father?"

Before she could answer, however, Pepper stepped in.

"She's nothing but a low-life pick-pocket and con-artist, answers to the name of Moranda Savich - although I'd bet that's not her real name either. I had business with her in the past, and she tried to con me out of some objects. This latest one, she tried to sell me my own acquisitions for a higher price, after waylaying the transport and high-jacking it. Fortunately, she wasn't clever enough to expect me to trick her out of it. I was about to kick her out of the shop when you arrived and..."

Pepper hugged him again, and whispered into his ear as she did so,

"I don't know what she is exactly, but be careful - for all that I could see through her tricks, she's not stupid; if she really knew your father, she must have had some influence and power in the past."

Pepper let him go again, and stood back to join him in looking at the woman for the answers he sought.

[Moranda Savich]

Moranda was pissed off now. For all that Pepper's words stung her as the truth, it wasn't the entire truth. But why should she now tell them all? This could be a bargain chip of some sort - her knowledge against a piece of the fortune. For that there had to be; there always was. And if not, then there were at least some credits involved she could grab at an opportune moment.

But there was something else involved here. Something that lay at the back of her mind, and with all that she tried, she couldn't make out what it was. That it was important, she knew, and that there was some danger, she also knew. But what was it?

They both still stared at her, Pepper's foot impatiently tapping on the floor. The lad didn't look all too friendly either.

<Maybe it's best if I tell them something - just a small thing. It won't hurt, and will keep them occupied while I try to remember what the heck it is that I forgot.>

"That's my real name, alright - although I'm baffled that you found it so easily. Moranda Savich. Did you come across the Imperial warrants as well, when you were snooping in the files? You probably know then that half of ImpIntel's been after me for years, wihtout picking me up. Trust me - I'm noone to fool around with."

She hesitated, startled. She hadn't intended to tell them about the Isards coming after her. What in space had possessed her to do so anyway?

And they didn't look much friendlier because of it - the opposite, rather. Pepper looked at her with that peculiar look of someone who had just discovered how she could make a lot of credits very easily.

<Drat this - I've given her a reason to turn me in, and now she even wants to, if it's to get her a nice flow of credits. Gotta make 'em think I'm worth something more to keep around for a while, until I have this whole thing figured out.>

"As to how I knew of your father, lad - that's easy. About 40 years ago, he kept me around for a while. I guess you could call it marriage, but the bastard had some other interpretations for that word. Left me, he did - just like that. Walked out one morning and didn't come back, and there was me with the landlord to settle the bill with. So I ran, too - but not in any direction I knew your father had to have taken. After a few years, I got the divorce papers sent to me. Guess he found himself another woman - must have, if you're who you say you are. Does that satisfy your curiosity?"

[Jalib Brandl]

He was too stunned for words. His father's first wife???

He hadn't known that his father had been married before. Never had Adalric made any mention of anyone he'd known before Jalib's mother. The thought alone seemed ridiculous, impossible.

Was this Moranda lying now?

No - he could feel that she was saying the truth. At least a part of the truth, if not all. But if she didn't tell all, then at least the sense he had gotten from her when she told her story had been right - she had told no lies.

And she had told more than she had intended to say - that much he knew. Maybe it had not been strictly following the Jedi ethics, but he hadn't cared at that moment - he had instilled her with a sense of honesty.

He'd never have expected it to pay off in this way.

Pepper, next to him, was as stunned as he was; she was opening and closing her mouth several times, as if attempting to say something she had no words for. Jalib wondered if she had known more than he had about this, but he didn't find it likely - she had only known his father during the last 20 of his life.

His thoughts returned to Moranda. In theory, his relationship to her now would have to be one of stepson - even though they were not related by blood, she was still in a way family now.

The thought needed some getting used to.

[Moranda Savich]

She was mildly amused at the change her little bit of news had brought over the two standing before her.

"Right! I can see how that came as a bit of a shock to both of you. Trust me, I'm not feeling much different, to find out that my bastard of an ex-husband left me a kid to look after. Although I guess you're grown up enough not to need any grown-ups to look after you," she tried to joke, to tide over the embarrassing silence that was growing between them all.

A motion behind them attracted her attention: The man that had come with Jalib was slowly retreating now, looking extremely uncomfortable. She wondered who he was, and what he was doing here. There was something peculiar about him.

At that thought, it was as if something clicked into the right place in her mind, and suddenly the tiny puzzle-piece that had eluded her all the time, was there; and she had the whole picture.

"You're a Jedi."

She didn't put it into a question, she didn't need to - she merely stated it as a fact. Adalric hadn't openly admitted to having any Force potential when she had been with him, but she had known. There had been too many co-incidences. And if his son had inherited the same potential, then it was only logical that now, with the Jedi once again established and secured in their position in the Galaxy, he would have chosen to join that order.

His companion's clothes had given him away - they fairly screamed of Jedi to her. It hadn't been as obvious because neither of them seemed to be carrying one of those laser swords that usually marked the Jedi - or Sith.

<He could of course be a Sith instead of a Jedi - but somehow I don't think I'd still be alive if he was.>

It was time for her own questions to be answered.

"So what are you doing here then?"

[Jalib Brandl]

She was shrewd, alright - Pepper had been right about that. How had she known about him being a Jedi?

He'd hardly finished the thought when it dawned on him that it had been Morgan she'd recognised as a Jedi, not him. Jalib turned around to his teacher, to find the man gone. In the confusion of the moment, somehow Morgan must have decided to leave this to him.

No matter - I'll find him later...

Before he could answer her question - he wasn't quite sure yet if he should, anyway - it was Pepper who first recovered her voice.

"Why did he never mention you? I knew Adalric Brandl for over 20 years, and I'd never heard a word about you from him."

[Moranda Savich]

"What, he never breathed a word about his charming first wife?"

She chuckled, her voice dripping with sarcasm. The time had long passed when she had still really cared about how Adalric had maltreated her - that he'd never mentioned her didn't come as a surprise to her at all.

"I guess he'd finally run out of names he could call me. His preferred expression for me was "bitch", and I guess something so common didn't fit into his repertoire anymore. I swear, that man drove me to madness with all his silly ideas about the theatre - I've never met anyone else conceited enough to change his entire vocabulary just so it'd fit his new life-style."

Rolling her eyes, she shrugged, and added,

"To be honest, there wasn't much love lost between us. Don't know why we ever even got married in the first place. I say, it's surprising, however, that he had the good graces not to mention me at all - I'd have expected him to drag my name through the dirt at every opportunity."

She shrugged again. It was all such a long time ago, and she didn't see how it mattered anyway - the man had long been food for the worms now. All this was just distracting from her own question. Looking Jalib right in the eye, she asked again,

"Well? What're you doing here?"

[Jalib Brandl]

To Jalib, this was increasingly strange. All these years, he hadn't really known much about his father other than the pieced-together stories he had heard from people who had known him, and his own memories. The man he had come to know as his father had been a strict and hard-to-please taskmaster, an impossible and cruel teacher, a distant father - a man who had, over the years that Jalib had lived with him, grown increasingly remote and violent; insane, even fanatic, in his beliefs.

What Moranda now told him did not disrupt that picture, but in some way, it made Adalric look more human. All these years, in Jalib's mind, his father had grown into a person of monstrous proportions, an almost God-like creature - a creature of Hell. But now, the doors of Hell seemed to be thrown open, and showing no more than an ordinary human being behind it all - one who had fallen to evil by his own mistakes.

Somehow, the mental picture that had now re-arranged itself of his father in his memories, failed to fill him with as much dread as it had before.

The one thing that struck him as curious, however, was that neither of the two women seemed to have any idea of the real nature of his father's life, or of his fate. It seemed it was up to him to fill up the blanks for both of them.

"I'm looking for information, really. Something to fill the last blanks in the family history. I guess this would be a part - a very unexpected part of it. But it's more my father's late history I'm trying to discover - the years before he died."

He didn't know why his instincts told him not to mention anything about the sword, but looking to fill the gaps in his father's history suddenly sounded like a much nobler idea than running after a forgotten heirloom. The looks on the women's faces were sympathetic, to a degree; that was fortunate. He didn't know yet what part Moranda could play in all this, but it was important to him that Pepper would be sympathetic enough to him to support him. He needed her, and not just for the information that she might have.

Of the two, it was Pepper who finally asked into the silence, her voice dropping almost to a low whisper,

"Jalib, what happened to your father? It had been 5 years at the news of his death, that I hadn't seen him, and there were some awful stories about him going around the holonet..."

He looked at them both, and realised that he would need to tell them much. Somehow, he didn't believe even Pepper knew all that his father had been during the years she had known him - if there was ever anything Adalric had been good with, then it had been putting on a show for everyone at all times, forever playing his little games.

The three of them sat down, finally, and Jalib began his tale.

[Moranda Savich]

The sun had gone down by the time Jalib had ended his story. Pepper had closed down her shop hours ago, and much had been discussed between them.

To Moranda, most of his tale had been old news, though she took great care to hide this from both of them. She didn't know how far he could penetrate through the careful shield of convenient lies she had erected during their time together, but if he had realised that she knew more than she had said, then he hadn't shown this openly. Adalric also had often seen past the lies straight down to the truth, and often had she tried to call him out on his Jedi traits, but whenever that had happened, he had protested, denied any knowledge of the Jedi. And she'd learned how to keep her secrets to herself, after a while. It had been much later that she'd found out that he had indeed been trying to hide that he was a Jedi, and by then her knowledge hadn't served any other purpose than to still her own curiosity.

Moranda had known that Adalric was one of Palpatine's minions. She had known for a long time, and could have told Jalib as much had she met him 10 years earlier, when Adalric was still deluding himself and his son into thinking that he had changed. She had known about his faked suicide, and his real death, too.

About the only thing Moranda hadn't been able to find out at one point or another was that Adalric had started a family. Those blanks Jalib had managed to fill in admirably, and she didn't know if she was grateful for it. All this was stirring up old memories and emotions she had wished dead and buried long ago. Dangerous memories. She didn't really want to be reminded of those days.

She didn't know what she should do, or what was expected of her now. Would Jalib want to keep her around, or leave her to her own devices? He had no reason to regard her as more than just an acquaintance, and she didn't exactly want a Jedi come running after her whenever he felt like it, either.

<There's something else involved in this whole thing - there has to be. If he's at all his father's son, he doesn't just go flitting around the Galaxy just to fill the gaps in his own knowledge of his father. Which isn't even a good excuse - if Adalric treated him as bad as he said he did, then I don't know why the lad would want to find out all the gory details; he seems to be disliking good ol' Adalric enough already~{!-~} No, there's gotta be something else in this; a better reason why he wants to find out more. And why this fixation about his death? The bastard died - isn't that enough to know? But he seems eager enough to go and dig up his remains from whatever rotten place they dropped him in. And all that for what? To see if he's really dead?>

Something about the entire story wasn't right, and that intrigued Moranda.

<Whatever he's planning to do, it mightn't be such a bad idea to make myself available - just in case there's any benefits to come of this.>

"So what's next? I'm guessing you didn't show up on Pepper's doorstep by accident - you must've come for something, lad," she asked him.

[Jalib Brandl]

Jalib nodded. By now, he'd lost his initial dislike of Moranda. He still didn't trust her, and he knew she was holding something out on him, but he had to give her credit - she was hiding it well. He didn't buy for once her act that she had been completely ignorant about his father's life - he didn't register the same amount of surprise and shock from her that he had gotten when he had reached out to Pepper as he had told them about the past. But Moranda was sincere to a degree, and he appreciated that.

She was also dangerous. There was something about her that rang the silent alarm bells at the back of his mind, but he didn't know what it was. He wouldn't let her out of his sight for as long as they stayed together, just in case.

It didn't surprise him, therefore, when, at the end of his tale, she took up where she had left off, and asked again what he had come for. But this time, Pepper looked at him with the same curiosity in her eyes. Again, his instincts warned him not to mention the sword, so instead he simply said,

"I wanted to know if Pepper had heard from him during the last few years before his death - the years after I left him."

Pepper's eyebrow rose. He explained,

"Well, I figured you knew him and had been closer to him than anyone else I knew from those days. In fact, I couldn't remember anyone else quite as clearly as I could remember you. I thought if I came to you, you might know more than the others - maybe he'd have come to you at some point... did he? When was the last time you saw him?"

[Moranda Savich]

Moranda’s head turned towards the other woman sitting opposite her. Pepper seemed lost in thought, and it was a long while before she spoke,

“The last time I saw him was five years ago. That would have been four years before his death, then…. And 8 years after you saw him last.”

She went silent again, as if going over every detail of that last meeting with him. Moranda wondered what Pepper had been to him - a confidante? Friend? More? She didn’t know, and didn’t really want to know either; but she knew that if she could ever catch Pepper on her own, she’d ask her anyway.

<Sure is funny how old memories like that warm up all those old emotions as well… hope you rot in hell, Adalric, anyway!>

Finally Pepper spoke again,

“He came to me about some supplies he needed, if I remember correctly. Candles, paper, lots of old stuff like that. Had himself fitted for a few new outfits, as well. I remember thinking he was looking a bit angry, as if something was vexing him. I put it down to him getting older, but… y’know, when I heard about him dying, and the things they said about him on the holonet, how he was one of them Dark Jedi and all, I wondered then. How could he have been one of them and I never noticed?”

Pepper turned to Jalib,

“Y’know, lad, if I hadn’t heard it from you, I’d never have believed it was true. He’s never harmed me or anyone I know. He’d been nothing but nice, and friendly, ever since I knew him. In some ways, it’s still hard to believe it now, but I guess you’d know better…”

<She couldn’t have known him all that well, if she never saw his other side. Frell, even I wasn’t so blind to his bad moods and all… >

Moranda frowned.

[Jalib Brandl]

Jalib sighed. He wished his own memories of his father were as pleasant as Pepper’s, but he knew that he’d only be kidding himself then. Once he’d wanted to believe it, too, but so much had happened since…

“Did he tell you what he was doing? Where he was living?”

Pepper shook her head,

“No, nothing like that. Not that I didn’t ask, but he just said something about travelling.”

Jalib’s shoulders sagged. As much as he had been glad to have found Pepper again, and to have talked with her about everything, it hadn’t brought him much information. Not the kind he had been hoping for. Against all hope, he asked her,

“Is there anything else you could tell me? Something he might have said in passing, anything?”

Pepper shook her head again, then stopped suddenly in mid-motion,

“Wait a sec - he mentioned something about having to get some clothes for ‘her’. I didn’t whom he meant - he was just mumbling stuff to himself then. Sorry lad - that’s all I know.”

She sighed, too, glumly staring at the floor.

All three of them stayed silent. Jalib was wondering who ‘she’ might be - another woman, another student? But it couldn’t have been the latter - why would his father want to teach again? Adalric had hated teaching Fable, had only consented when he’d realised he could sell her out to his old Masters… maybe he had done the same again then?

With another sigh, Pepper asked,

“Have you been to Green yet? He’s known Adalric for much longer than I have - usually it was him Adalric got all his information from.”

Jalib looked up, surprised.

“Green? Who’s he?”

“Locus Green. He’s a retired General. Must be very old now - he served still under the Old Republic. I’ve got a few suspicions that he’s spying for the New Rep’s, but I’m not sure about that. Out on Salliche, he is, the last I heard. I’m sure if he hadn’t heard from him in person, he’d know something about him anyways - Green’s a sly fox, and he’s contacts everywhere.”

Jalib felt exultant - this was the lead he’d been hoping to get: Someone who might know more, who might give him another lead. He sprang up from his chair, and hugged Pepper.

“Thank you! Thank you so much. I’m sure this’ll help.”

[Moranda Savich]

He looked as if he was about to bolt out of that door and vanish. She’d have to prevent that from happening - if he was going anywhere, then it was certainly not without her.

Moranda knew Locus Green. She’d gotten most of her own information about Adalric from him in the past - of course, not without paying him a handsome sum for his discretion. Maybe now it was time to go and pay the old General a visit, to renew their business relations… and make it abundantly clear to him how much she still valued his ‘secrecy’. Especially if Jalib was there asking the same questions.

“So you’re going to old Green? Mind if I join you?”

Immediately, she could feel his suspicion returning. She didn’t need that - there was no time for mistrust now. His voice contained a hard edge as he asked,

“Why would you want to come with me? I think you made it obvious enough that you hated my father’s guts - so why do you want to help me now?”

Moranda chuckled,

“Did I say anything about helping you? Can’t say I did. You got me wrong, sonny boy - the only reason I want to see old Green is because I have a few things to talk over with him. You see, good ol’ Locus and I have a few common interests, and he’s the one who keeps an eye on them. I merely want to visit him to go and check up that all’s well with the merchandise.”

That was about as far as she could go without giving too much away.

[Jalib Brandl]

He could sense her dishonesty, but somehow, it intrigued her. If she really knew this General, then maybe it would be a good idea to let her tag along - maybe he could learn more from her during the meeting than she was giving away now. Sometimes, these things just needed the right kind of situation…

Belatedly, he began to wonder where Morgan had gone to. Jalib depended on him for transport, but his teacher had vanished hours earlier. Opening himself to the Force now, he got no sense of the man anywhere near - maybe he wasn’t even still on the planet. Puzzling as it was that Morgan would have just left him here like this, left without another word, it didn’t really surprise Jalib; the man was odd, had odd moods, and… he was a Jedi. Maybe he had been called away on more pressing business. There was still much Jalib had to learn about the Jedi and their habits.

Seeing that Morgan seemed gone, it seemed he would have no choice other than to accept Moranda as his companion. Hopefully, she would also have a means of transport they could use.

“All right. I don’t see why we shouldn’t travel together if we’ve got the same destination. Mind if we take your ship, though? I got a lift to Corellia from a friend, but he had to be somewhere else, so…”

He intentionally downplayed Morgan’s role in all this. Jalib had not told them that he had joined the Jedi, and although he was sure both of them had realised that Morgan was a Jedi, he had not confirmed their suspicions in any way. In hindsight, it was something he wondered about, yet it had been his instincts that had told him it was wiser not to mention anything about this.

[Moranda Savich]

Moranda grinned. Whatever reasons he had for accepting her, she certainly was relieved now. The meeting with Locus Green could have shed light on all kinds of things if she wasn’t going to be there. And as much as she didn’t really care about what had happened to Adalric, she still preferred to keep her secrets to herself - and the reasons she had them.

“Ship? Sure I have one. The Terra Firma is ready to lift off any time I like. I sure hope you can fly, sonny boy - cos I don’t intend to lift a finger. If you want a lift, you can do the work yourself. As for now,“ - she got up and briskly walked over to the door - “ I hope you don’t mind if I leave you. Meet me at Landing Pad 114C in two hours, if you still want to go then.”

She walked out of the shop before Pepper could find the time to call her back.

<Let those two get through their damn tearful goodbyes without me - I’ve got better things to do in the meantime. And I’m not gonna stick around long enough for that woman to remember what I came about in the first place.>

With a smirk, Moranda vanished amongst the crowds.

[Jalib Brandl]

His jaw set in anger, but he had himself under control - enough to stop himself from running after her, calling her back.

There would be plenty of opportunity to release his anger at her later on. Salliche wasn’t a stone’s throw away from Corellia - they’d have plenty of time shacked up in her ship; and somehow he doubted the journey would be as quiet as the one he had been on to come to Corellia.

Pepper stood up, and put her hands on Jalib’s shoulders, looking into his eyes.

“Listen to me now, lad. I’ve an inkling of what you’ve been through, after you left your father. I know what you’ve done now to fix things - this friend of yours is a Jedi, and that’s what you’re hoping to become, too.”

Jalib broke the eye-contact, stared to the floor. He was even less sure of himself now than he had ever been before. Jedi? In truth, he did intend to become one, yet… could he really be one? His father’s anger was also his own, no matter how much he tried not to show it, or give in to it; it was still there, simmering underneath the smooth surface.

“I…”

“Don’t be afraid of the future - I know you well, lad; don’t try to atone for your father’s sins - they are what they are: your father’s. They’ve got nothing to do with you. But if you think you’re like him - that you’ll become like him - then you’re just pushing the blame for your own faults over to him, instead of accepting yourself for what you are. You’re not your father, Jalib - see that it stays like that.”

He knew. He knew what temptation it was to simply give in to it, to accept the anger, the hate; to let it take over and devour him, like it had with his father. But Pepper was right - he was no more than he made himself; he wasn’t his father, his father’s mistakes didn’t have to be passed on to him, too. Still, the thought was with him every day, tempting him. How easier would life be if his father’s sins were not with him every day of this life, if he were not constantly reminded of them now?

Again, he questioned the wisdom of this quest. What was he seeking to gain - simple knowledge? Forgiveness? Revenge? Truly, it wasn’t the sword alone he was seeking…. It was something else, but he did not know what.

Jalib embraced Pepper once more, hugged her close, before letting go. She deserved the truth that he had withheld before.

“I am no Jedi yet. I feared to become one, feared to touch the Force in case it would taint me, corrupt me like it did my father. But I sought them out nevertheless, and came to see that without them, the danger was greater. Yet there are ghosts to bury before I can become a Jedi - I need to know what made him what he was.”

He felt hesitant to talk of the sword, and therefore did not. It seemed a foolish business now, compared to the greater task. Yet it seemed odd - he realised at that moment that the sword had never been what he had set out to find; yet when he had started, it had been easier to accept a quest for a material thing rather than something purely mental.

With a last warm smile towards the woman who had, after his mother’s death, almost become a surrogate for her to him, he left - to begin his real quest.


(To be continued in Fate's Delusions: Closer to the Enemy (http://pub2.ezboard.com/fswvstitanicfrm13.showMessage?topicID=270.topic))