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Live Wire
Apr 26th, 2001, 03:47:20 PM
OOC: continued from the threads out of the frying pan (http://pub23.ezboard.com/fthesithorderarchives.showMessage?topicID=10.topic ), ....into the fire (http://pub23.ezboard.com/fthesithorderdiscussionchamber.showMessage?topicID =426.topic), and Its all in your mind (http://pub23.ezboard.com/fthesithorderdiscussionchamber.showMessage?topicID =441.topic).

IC:
*The Lightnings Strike came out of hyperspace in a barren system. In the distance was a small ice planet and LW set a course for it. The whole planet was permeated with the dark side and the evil eminated out into space.

Ziost...the lost planet of the sith. Very few sith knew its location and even fewer visited it. The climate was insanely harsh...as cold as hoth but not quite as barren. The surface was littered with old abandoned structures as mysterious as their builders.

There was no sign of life anywhere in the system and LW sensed nothing in the force. Was Ariel here or was this part of an elaborate ruse to get her away from TSO. Her heart beat loudly in her chest. As she got closer to the planet she scanned for any life signs.

The Strikes sensors picked up a faint lifesign of a child.*

"Ariel", she whispered

*There were no other lifesigns around and LW frowned at the readings. There was no way someone would lead her to this planet just for her to find the baby abandoned. Something was not right. If ariel had been left in such a harsh environment she'd already be dead...someone was with her. Something was blocking her from sensing anyone else.

LW's anger was apparent as she navigated her ship through the atmosphere and landed near an old abandoned castle. She looked out her viewport through the icy wind at the looming stone facade. Her face was full of determination as she locked down the computers on the ship and went to the back to get warmer clothes on*

EDIT: fixed link...thread moved

Live Wire
Apr 28th, 2001, 04:40:36 AM
*LW suited up to protect herself from the cold outside. She made sure she was fully armed and kept her saber in hand. She lowered the docking ramp on the Strike and winced at the biting chill. She stepped out onto the snow covered ground and took a look around. She still couldnt sense anyone and it made her cautious.

She raised the ramp and locked down the ship. Through the icy wind she could see the abandoned castle and she slowly made her way towards it. She kept her saber in her hand and was constantly watching all around her.

As she entered the castle she felt strangely warmer...she had not picked up any energy signals as if there were a heat source nearby but she no longer felt chilled. Her breath still made little clouds in the air as she explored the interior of the castle.

The farther in she went the darker it was so she ignited her saber to help her she. LW came around a corner and peaked into a round chamber. She gasped as she saw baby Ariel lying on a bed in the middle of the chamber...she was illuminated by a soft light but LW couldnt distinguish the source of the light.

She hesitated before entering....she still couldnt sense anyone around but it smelled like a trap. Slowly she took a couple cautious steps into the room.*

Seth TraSven
Apr 30th, 2001, 04:11:35 PM
Slowly but surely, Live Wire neared Ariel who was rested on a small matress upon the icy stone floor of the large, circluar room. She was weary of her footing otherwise she might slip and drop her ever maintained gaurd however no matter how hard she tried she could not sense anything, the castle seemed to void of the Force.

As she neared her eyes surveyed all around continuously watching for movement within the thick blanket of shadow that draped down the surrounding walls. There was an eerie silence throughout the castle. Numerous torches cracked as their flames licked the air, giving the room a dull glow.

Soon she was just before Ariel who was sleeping silently, Live Wire crept closer carefully and crouching down to lift her, the baby whined.

"Welcome Catherine..." whispered a voice into her ear.

Live Wire stood abruptly from her crouched position, startled, she quickly turned, to find nothing. Nobody was there. But there definately had been a voice. She was certain of it.

Turning again she gasped to find that Ariel was no longer before her and was nowhere to be seen, all that was left was the indentation in the matress where her tiny figure had rested. Live Wire looked about frantically.

Suddenly, shrouded beneath the heavy darkness, something stirred, there was definately movement, she heard footsteps slowly walk around the perimeter of the room. But then she heard another set of footsteps within the shadow moving in the opposite direction, and then another, and another. She could no longer follow where the movement was coming from or in which direction it was going, but she remained alert.

Suddenly amidst the sounds, from the shdows emerged a figure robed in Jedi garments, his face hidden beneath a hood, he walked toward the Sith and suddenly stopped, at the same time, all the other footsteps died too.

There was a moment of utter silence as Live Wire looked on at the figure. She was certain it was the man responsible for Ariels abduction and eyed him visciously.

Slowly, his hands moved to his hood and pulling it back he revealed the face of a youthful Jedi Padawan, with gentle blue eyes, short brown hair and a calm composure. He smiled politely.

"Welcome to Ziost Mistress Live Wire!" he said courteously with a gestured bow of the head out of respect, authentic or mocking.

She was still, fire burned in her eyes, she glared, ready to pounce; as silent as death.

"Allow me to introduce myself. I am Seth TraSven of the Greater Jedi Order, jedi Padawan to Master Yoghurt." he paused for a moment, then continued.

"It is I who is responsible for yopur being here in the sense that I was the Jedi at Correlia." upon hearing this Live Wire began to walk towards him, lightsaber in hand, approaching gradually. "Before you make any decision to act, let me tell you something about myself."

She paused briefly, awaiting more fuel for the burning firey hatred inside her.

"I am on a mission, not of war but of peace. This is the second stage in my plans. My plans are to rid the Galaxy of evil," although his tone was deadly serious, Live Wire allowed an amused grin to seep through. "I am trying to save and rescue the innocent before it's too late. Ariel is now under my protection from your twisted, evil ways. I will not allow you to corrupt her."

At this, the Sith began an approach again and he added, reaching within his robes, "The second part of my plan involves the freeing of the baby Ariel from Sith possession and ridding the Galaxy of another Sith!"

Upon saying this, a blinding white blade erupted from the lightsaber he had taken from his person and he now stood in a defensive stance awaiting a reaction from the Sith.

However, several meters away from him now, Live Wire paused for a brief moment as though in thought, pondering on something. Suddenly, she looked to him quizzicaly.

Live Wire
May 1st, 2001, 02:40:29 AM
*LW paused though not exactly sure why she was doing so. Every fiber of her being told her to rush this sonofabitch and chop his head off. But there was something unusual about this padawan. She couldn't sense him in the force but the way he looked at her was like he was looking right through her. As if he knew her better then she knew herself.

The anger was swelling in her and it consumed her like a fire that refused to be quenched. She gripped her saber staring Seth down.*

You will release Ariel to me! You have no right to take her from me.

*Seth gave her an amused look as if to say and if I dont? She advanced on him slowly. In a way she felt as if she should have expected this. It wasn't a secret that the dead woman found near the baby had been a rouge jedi. She should have known the jedi would try to claim the child.*

I dont care what your "plan" is! Ariel has the heart of a sith and I wont let you leave here with her!

*Seth just looked at her curiously and with an almost amused look*

Seth: You overestimate yourself Sith! I will purge the galaxy of evil like you so you can no longer corrupt the innocence left in this universe!

*She felt a chill run through her body as a wind that seemingly came out of nowhere swept through the icy stone room. Tricks of the force meant to distract her and she knew better then to take her eyes of Seth. Besides it seems Seth was more interested in gloating about his master "plan" then fighting. That would be his downfall. LW hated people that had to tell you what they wanted to do...she just wanted his corpse at her feet and her baby back in her arms.*

You wont succeed! I'll have every sith this side of the core hunting you down! And I'll find whoever helped you infiltrate TSO and kill them personally!

Seth TraSven
May 2nd, 2001, 03:35:24 PM
Seth chuckled at Live Wire's last remark, he smiled, feeling completely in control. He had affected the Sith psychologically, he had winded his way into her head ever since he'd been at TSO. This was personal, she was emotionally involved in this and that would be her downfall, her weakness is her compassion for the child. Although Seth meant the child no harm, he could use that position to his advantage later on.

"You seem so sure of what is happening. The truth is you know nothing, all you Sith are the same. You place your trust foolishly and your hatred blinds you. Just like it blinded Gav when he walzed into my carefully placed web of deceit."

He knew what he'd done. He could see it in her eyes.

"I remember, he was so eager to make the trade for the artifact, he didn't even think to check it for any foreign objects like, ohhh shall we say explosives!"

A wide grin krept across his face.

Live Wire
May 2nd, 2001, 03:44:47 PM
*LW stared at him in shock and horror. After all this time she finaly stood face to face with the man that had sent her life into a downward spiral. This sonofabitch took Gav away from her and then has the audacity to steal her child and stand there smugly taunting her. Oh there was no way in hell she was letting him leave this planet alive.

Her eyes went from deep pools of black to a bright yellow as her entire body seemed to crackle with enegy and with a scream she rushed him with her saber.

Their sabers met as Seth was still smugly smiling at her. She tried to overpower him with brute strength but the lanky jedi was stronger then he looked....as their sabers clashed LW kicked his legs out from under him and kicked his stomach as he fell towards the ground.*

That was for taking Ariel!

*she raised her saber high aiming for his throat*

And this is for GAV!!!!!!

EDIT: spelling

Seth TraSven
May 2nd, 2001, 04:57:23 PM
Although Seth was actually slightly shorter than the Sith, he had develloped a powerful upper-body strength and so was able to go hand to hand with her, even in this area nullified of the Force.

Falling forward he felt a sharp pain hit his sternum and he cringed but although in pain, he was able to see the lightsaber rise for his throat as he fell. He used his speed and agility to his advantage. He placed his free left hand flat on the floor before him, twisted so that the blade of her lightsaber narrowly missed him. However as he fell he used his momentum to cartwheel alongside the Sith, supported by his left hand he flipped to his feet behind her.

As she turned to meet him, he pivoted on his right foot and spun to meet her, suddenly Live Wire felt a brute force smash into her jaw and her entire head snapped sideways from the force of the blow. The stone brick which Seth had grasped in his left hand during his cartwheel had proven effective.

Disgarding of the brick, Seth swung his lightsaber towards the right side of Live Wire's neck hoping to decapitate her, however she was fast and as a result blocked but in that same instant her head snapped sideways again as the Jedi Padawan planted a fierce, sharp kcik to her temple.

She stumbled, blood trickling from her mouth. As she did, Seth swung his lightsaber low, in an effort to sever her knees from under her but her speedy ractions allowed her to clear the swing but left her open to another attack. The Jedi spun from the momentum of his attack and he buried a reverse elbow shot into the small of her back, her back jerked and she lost balance in mid-flight and fellt o the floor.

Seth grinned once again, looking on at the fallen Sith triumphantly, "Ariel is mine. Gav is dead. Catherine is dead!"

Live Wire
May 4th, 2001, 03:47:16 AM
*LW caught herself on her hands and used her momentum to do a forward flip. As her legs came up they smacked Seth in the jaw and he stepped backwards. She picked up her saber where it fell and slowly advanced on him. It was obvious she shouldn't underestimate this padawan. He seemed to have experience beyond his years. She snarled at him as they circled each other*

Gav may be dead but Ariel will never be yours. I dont fear death but if I die Im taking you with me!

*he was counting on her emotions to cloud her judgement but there was a calm coldness in LW's eyes. She wanted him dead and that was all she was focused on. As she looked in Seths eyes she felt a chill run down her spine. He may have claimed to be a jedi padawan but his eyes held an evil that almost scared her. Something about him nagged at her....he kept calling her Catherine. The fact that he knew her name and had the arrogance to address her by it just made her determination to extinguish his smug attitude that much stronger.

She swung at him and he matched her saber the hum and crackle echoed in the cold stone room. As their sabers met LW kneed him in the gut as his stance collapsed she brought the hilt of her saber up and smashed it into his face. She brought it around again ready to pound it into the side of his head when his hand grabbed onto her wrist. He tried to hold onto her while he brought his saber around intending to stab her in the back, literally. But as he did so LW gave him a strong electical shock that forced him to let go of her.

When he let go of her hand she gave him a roundhouse kick to the face. He looked down at the palm of his hand and looked almost astonished to see blisters forming from the electrical burns*

You seem to know a lot about me but not enough.

*her eyes burned with hatred as he tried to taunt her...but LW remained focus. She had a job to do and cut off from the force like this forced her to concerntrate harder on what was normaly instinctual.*

Seth TraSven
May 4th, 2001, 08:29:14 PM
Indeed there was something interesting and unusual about Live Wire, which Seth discovered at the sensation of electricity which dashed throughout his body. He backed off judgementally, pausing for a moment to ponder on what course of action to take next, he looked around.

"Well my dear, you will be joining Gav soon enough and Ariel will follow unless you allow her to go free with me."

He began to sidestep infrequently in a cricular motion, the Sith following his movements until finally he went for a strike.

Bringing his lightsaber over his head, he rotated it as he neared, and as it was concluding the revolution the blade was soaring towards Live Wire's neck however, again she blocked but leaving her mid-section ungaurded, Seth landed a carefully placed snap kick into her gut causing her to reel forward, gasping for air. As she did, Seth drove the hilt of his lightsaber into the back of her neck and as she jerked forward more from the blow, he roled over her back so that he was behind her.

As she turned he swoooped low a roundhouse manouver which swept the Sith from her feet and she came crashing to the floor after losing her balance.

Again Seth backed off, breathing heavily, his speed was affective however it came at a price.

"Allow Ariel to live. Surrender the misguidance of your life. It has been a waste and should be extinguished, that is my job. Catherine," he said, with a slight grin, "Don't you ever wonder why you were never accepted, why your parents disowned you and why you are still searching for a meaning to your existence?"

He now had her attention, this was certainly a sensitive issue, one only the boldest of the bold would raise with such an individual. However he continued, a sly grin crept across his young face.

"Well, it's because you're worthless, you have no meaning. Why do you actually bother to exist? You, my dear Catherine, have no place in the world!"

At this he jumped into a series of back handsprings which took him further away from her and toward the perimeter of the room, near a dark corridoor from which a cold breeze originated.

Live Wire
May 6th, 2001, 03:16:38 AM
*she advanced on him slowly getting angrier with each step*

You dont know a damn thing about me or my life! Who the hell are you to pass judgement on me and what I chose to do! You dont know a god damn thing! I have a life and a place in this world and if you think otherwise then you're blind!

You dont know sh*t about my parents! You dont know sh*t about me! AND DON'T CALL ME CATHERINE!!!!!!

*it was the last straw for Live Wire. She had enough of his smug judgemental attitude. He didnt know half the things he claimed to and he was digging trying to find which buttons to push. She didnt care if he knew she was mad. In fact she fought better when she was mad it allowed her natural instincts to take over.

She felt the cool breeze wash over her but it didnt make her feel cold. She ran at him and he was expecting a strike with her raised saber but instead she did a forward flip over his head. Before he could react she sent a kick with the heel of her boot straight into his lower spine. As he stumbled forward she spun and gave him a sharp elbow in the back of his neck.*

Dont preach at me about my life you hypocritical prick! I dont care what your motives are you have no right to pass judgement on my life choices and to take away the only things I've ever loved!

*As seth scrambled to his feet she gave him another swift kick sending him headlong into a stone wall. She smiled at the sound of his skull cracking on rock. She advanced on him her saber ready to lose his head from his shoulders*

Its the end of the line for you jedi!

Seth TraSven
May 6th, 2001, 08:00:57 PM
Seth's head whirred in bewilderment, his ears rang, his bones ached and his vision was blurred. His body was resting against the stone wall, he gasped heavily and slowly his vision began to reallign itself. He saw Live Wire near him ready for the killing blow and heard the words, "It's the end of the line for you Jedi!"

At this he hastedly stumbled to his feet, pressed himself up against the wall hard and began manouvering along it's rounded surface, distancing himself from her. Live Wire's eyes carefully followed him as he moved into a canopy of shadow but never emerged. She was confused then realised her own stupidity as she moved nearer. The Jedi had slipped into a dark, narrow corridoor.

She ran in there, alert for any sudden attack. She quietened her breathing and all was silent, it's was very dark and her shoulders occasionally touched the walls to either side of her, it was very narrow.

Gradually, she progressed down the passage, not knowing what to expect whilst a million thoughts tormented her at once when she suddenly came to a wooden door. It creaked loosly on it's rusted hinges as the winds whistled outside. At first she hestitated but then gently pushed it and it swung open, an eerie creak came from it as it did.

It led to something that looked like a courtyard, however as she discovered it led of to a cliff edge, evidently over centuries, the intolerable cold had eroded away the rock. About the exposed corridoor which was reasonably large were large chunks of rock and collapsed building, possibly from when the other half of the fortress collapsed into the darkness below.

Everything glittered with an icy blanket, it was freezing cold and her breath was like mist as it left her mouth. She walked closer into the courtyard and gasped in shock suddenly as she could feel the force once again. But in that moment, Seth appeared from a large chunk of debris, lightsaber ignited he ran at her with increadible speed and let out a powerful war cry.

In the Shadow of Death
May 6th, 2001, 08:28:25 PM
At that moment the sky became a brilliant white and in that instant a lightning bolt struck the ground just before Seth and he was thrown off of his feet, Live Wire stepped back in shock at the sudden occurence.

There was a heavy rumbling in the sky and the ground trembled at it's ferocity, however it began to die away.

Seth scrambled to his feet, but suddenly, seemingly from out of nowhere a loud bell clanged and it's deep chime rang through the air. It was truely haunting sound.

Almost as if on cue, amidst the sky flashing bright, the rumbling and straight after the bell chime, there were voices. Three distinct voices of young girls. They were saying something and their words were clear and articulate. As the pair listened with look of dread in their faces at the unnerving sequence of events, they saw at every flash of lightning the figures of three girls about the courtyard, at a different place each time. They were playing hopscotch, then jump rope, then they stood still holding hands in a circle until they again disappeared. This happened continuously whilst the voices could be heard.

"As I lay me down to sleepI pray my soul is mine to keepAnd never step outside this bedThe true all evil<Font Size="3">Is now back from the dead..."</Font>

Once they had finished, the three little girls dissapeared and the rumbling sky died away leaving the Jedi and Sith in stunned silence.

Live Wire
May 7th, 2001, 01:50:53 AM
*LW's face blanched at the ghostly sight of the children and the erie words that seemingly came from nowhere and everywhere all at once. There was a reason that few people including sith came to this place,the evil was so thick it felt like it had a life of its own. It was unpredictable, seductive, and dangerous to even the strongest of Sith. The force was strong again so strong it laid upon her like a suffocating blanket.

She could feel the presence around her and it scared her. She looked over at Seth and he looked like he had gotten into more then he had bargained for. He was rattled and so was she, but the difference was she still wanted him dead. With the force back flowing through her body she advanced on him. She reignited her saber which seemed to crackle louder in the icy winds.

He turned towards her still unnerved and ignited his saber. Using the force she picked up a large piece of stone wall that had broken off and was lying near the doorway and hurtled it at him. As the rock flew through the air she ran towards him*

Now you will die!

Seth TraSven
May 7th, 2001, 05:58:26 PM
Bewlidered after the recent sequence of events, Seth is somewhat caught by suprise and randomnly swings his saber, a lucky swing splits the stone in two. Thinking fast he jumps high into the air, propelled by the force to an extent and flips over Live Wire, once behind her he lands a powerful thrust kick to the back of her head which throws her off balance and she stumbles forward. As he lands Seth closes his eyes and using the force once again, telekinetically pushes the Sith forward and she finally falls to her knees.

Siezing the oppurtunity Seth runs at Live Wire who is near the edge of the cliff, he raises his aber to decapitate the woman however to his suprise she performs an athletic back handspring and catches his neck between her legs whilst she is in a handstand position. With a quick jerk she flips him over and he is sent falling nearer to the cliff face.

"I do not fear death Catherine and neither should you. What do you have to live for?"

Live Wire
May 9th, 2001, 12:57:20 PM
I have everything to live for! But you wouldnt know anything about that!

*The wind started to pick up again as Seth struggled to get to his feet on the icy slope. LW approached him carefully making sure her footing was secure on the unstable cliff side. She used the force to push him a little farther towards the edge. She was toying with her prey like she so often liked to do.

She rushed him with her saber and the two of them slid dangerously close to the edge of the cliff. Seth was taunting her he wanted to know how far she was willing to go to kill him. She kneed him in the stomach intending to flip him over the edge but he used her shoulders to push her down to her knees and vault himself over her. LW whirled just in time to block his saber but their combined weight was making the cliff face crumble.

They both started to slide over the edge as LW scrambled to get a hold on something solid. Seth slid onto her and rested his feet on her shoulders and used her to push himself onto a more stable area. LW found something to hold onto and was pulling herself up when seth came to stand over her.*

Seth TraSven
May 9th, 2001, 01:06:39 PM
Now it was Seth's turn to toy with his prey! He was pleased at the turn of events, the Sith now lay dangling from the cliff edge before him. It was only a matter of time. Making sure his footing was stable against the icy floor, he smiled at Live Wire who struggled to hold on.

He began swinging his lightsaber in an arch, it's tip breaking pieces of rock from the cliff face and sent them falling into Live Wires face. She coughed and spluttered, there was a deep gash across her forehead were a jagged piece of rock had slashed her.

The blood ran into her eyes and eventually she had to close them, the red viscous fluid ran quickly now and she was severely panicing. Was it her end?

"You will pay for your corrupted ways Live Wire. Prepare to die!"

With that Live Wire heard a humming as the Jedi raised his lightsaber high above his head to either take off her hands or break the cliff face enough for it to fall taking her with it. She screamed.

In the Shadow of Death
May 9th, 2001, 01:16:42 PM
Suddenly amidst her own scream Live Wire suddenly heard another cry, one of terror and disbelief. It pierced her to her very soul, there was something about it. It was Seth, he seemed terrified of something, she tried to open her eyes but couldn't. The blood was dripping from her chin now.

"Oh God no! Please! How can it be? It's impossible!

....ARGH!"

She clinged on to the coarse rocky face of the cliff and heard a brief scuffle from above then suddenly, she felt something move past her very quickly, Seths screams became quieter and more distant. They were coming from below and they echoed around her, had he fallen?

With all the confusion, suddenly she felt something grab her are, it was a firm grip and instantaneously she was hoisted up into the air and on top of the cliff once again. She was safe.

Live Wire rubbed the blood from her face and her eyes with the sleeve of her robes, her hands were freezing, her entire body was shivering, she stood to see who had helped her out of the chasm.

There, stood a figure wearing dark robes and a hood that cast an ominous shadow ver his face, she could not tell who it was, she took a step closer, watching the icy breath emerge from the dark shadow

Live Wire
May 9th, 2001, 01:25:37 PM
*LW kept her distance from the stranger. He had saved her life but that was no reason to get to comfortable. She had been attacked by would-be saviors before. She called her fallen lightsaber to her but didnt ignite it. Despite the sudden intense cold she kept a calm face as she tried to see the face shrouded in the black folds of his hood*

Who are you?

In the Shadow of Death
May 9th, 2001, 01:33:57 PM
At the question, the figure took two steps forward calmly, without any gesturing. Slowly his hands came up to grip the hood that hid the mysterios figures face and slowly pulled it back.

Gav Mortis
May 9th, 2001, 01:46:14 PM
The hood came back and gentle moonlight struck a familiar face. His features young, but behind his eyes there's a milenia of torment and evil. Once his eyes caught those of Live Wire's a warm smile crept across his face, the silence between the two seemed to last forever and he could feel the raging storm of emotions that was just waiting to be released inside her, he could feel the swell of doubt and confusion; which was needless to say understandable.

In that moment, the icy floor was sparkling like the millions of stars that were painted across the canvas of space. Despite the intolerable cold, there was a comforting presence between the two individuals. The winds howled and his short, black hair was thrown about like his dark robing. There was so much different about him except he hadn't seemed to have changed, there was something in the Force, in fact there were billions of voices crying out in pain but the silence of the moment itself was so deafening that Live Wire didn't attempt to make any sense of it all.

There were so many questions. So much confusion. The young man could do nothing but just stand there, motionless, but then in one single moment. He grinned and said, "Hello Catherine."

Live Wire
May 9th, 2001, 02:04:36 PM
*LW almost dropped her saber as he revealed his face. The face that haunted both her dreams and her nightmares. Her mind refused to believe that what she was seeing was true but her heart was telling her...no begging her to believe it.

She walked to him slowly as if she could scare him off and he would disappear before her eyes. The wind continued to whip around them but she didnt hear it or feel it.

Her hands were shaking as she looked up into the familiar blue eyes. She reached out to touch his face her hand shaking. Gav took her hand and held it to his cheek as if to say "yeah Im real". LW shook her head as if still not believing it and a small tear rolled down her cheek.*

You're alive?

Gav Mortis
May 9th, 2001, 02:14:17 PM
Upon hearing her question Gav simply smiled and nodded slighhtly, "Yes, I'm alive. It's been a long time Catherine." he acknowledged.

Seeing the tear silently slip down her cheek he brought his hand to her face and softly wiped it away, seconds later, it soldified on his thumb. His breath was like a thick mist coming from him, it was bitterly cold and he saw her trembling hands.

"Come on," he said, warmly putting his arm around her, "Lets head back to your ship and get off this forsaken rock!"

With that, the two headed back through the castle toward the Lightning's Strike, Gav could see that Live Wire was really confused and worried and a whole load of other emotions too but he was calm and solemn.

In an attempt to brighten the mood, he said jokingly, "Are you ok? You look like you've seen a ghost!"

Live Wire
May 9th, 2001, 02:20:24 PM
*LW's legs felt weak as they walked and held onto him for support. Gav started to head out to where the Strike was docked but LW walked back down the narrow hallway to the circular room. He looked at her questioningly.*

I came here looking for a baby that was abducted from TSO. I dont know where he took her! I can't leave without finding her!!

Gav Mortis
May 9th, 2001, 02:29:58 PM
For a moment Gav looked puzzled, "A baby?" he asked following her back into the castle.

They walked toward the circular room where Live Wire had innitially found the child, as they entered, Gav looked about the large room judgementally.

"Hmm...so this is where you last saw Ariel?" he asked, at this, Live Wire's face turned shocked, her eyes widened in bewiderment, she turned to face him.

"How did you know her name!" she asked suprised.

"Oh I can tell, her name is imprinted on your mind, like an engravement. Just like reading a book." He paused for a moment, then said, "Wgat do you say we split up and find her?"

Live Wire
May 9th, 2001, 02:34:55 PM
*LW frowned slightly...Gav always had been able to read her easily. She just wondered how much of what was in her mind he had picked up on. She would have to remember to guard her thoughts. She looked around the room. Ariel wouldnt be back the way they had come so that eliminated one exit. She looked toward where she had first seen seth emerge from the darkness*

I'll head that way. Be careful...theres something really not right about this place. I just want to find her and get out of here

Gav Mortis
May 9th, 2001, 02:44:24 PM
Gav nodded an acknowledgement to Live Wire. The moved off down a corridoor, things had happened so fast, for almost a year he had been gone, and now he's here with Live Wire, it was all very odd!

He began making his way through dark winding corridoors, keeping his senses aware of Live Wire as he did so.

Live Wire
May 9th, 2001, 02:56:44 PM
*LW searched through twisting stone corridors trying to get a sense of baby Ariel somewhere. She could sense Gav on the other side of the old castle. She had so many mixed emotions. He had been gone for so long, she had just started rebuilding her life and here it was turned upside down yet again.

She sighed and pushed those thoughts out of her mind. The important thing was to find the baby, everything else could be taken care of later.

After about a half hour of searching she was getting very scared and very frustrated. Slowly she made her way back to the original room which still remained void of the force.

She was almost hysterical by the time she got back to the room and as she entered she saw the same erie light and baby Ariel lying quietly unharmed on the bed. LW rushed to her side and cradled the baby in her arms.

Relievied she looked up just as Gav found his way back.*

Gav Mortis
May 9th, 2001, 03:10:39 PM
Gav stepped in and caught sight of Live Wire and the child, he smiled in the comfort of knowing that she was happy. He had missed her greatly but it was something he had to have done. It had been so long. So long since that day, he crouched down by her and looked into her eyes.

He got caught in the moment, and couldn't bring himself to remove eye contact from her, it was almost like finally being able to satisfy a drug addiction. In his head swirled a juxtaposition of contradictions and chaotic thought.

There were no words, he didn't know what to say, he had nothing to say. No doubt, there were questions she wanted to ask and he wanted to find out what had been happening whilst he was away but now was not the time to catch up on current events.

"We better get back to the ship, I think theres a storm headed this way. It's far too cold for a baby."

Live Wire agreed and the three headed back to Live Wire's ship and prepared for lift off. She sat in the the pilots seat and as she did asked Gav to hold Ariel, hesitantly Gav took the child in his arms, he didn't know how to react.

However, the moment Live Wire placed Ariel in his arms, something happened, something unexplainable, Gav could feel something within the child, something familiar. He held her close pondering on why he felt so close to this little girl.

Live Wire
May 9th, 2001, 03:27:14 PM
*She smiled as Gav warmed up to baby Ariel. She was always amazed how a baby could change a man. It was kinda cute. She prepped the strike for takeoff happy to be leaving the erie planet. If it was the last time she came back it would be too soon.

She heared Ariel giggle as the Ship headed towards space. LW was quiet as she prepared for the jump to hyperspace that would take them back to TSO. She had so much on her mind. What did this mean now that Gav was back? He had been gone so long.

And then she remembered the state she had left TSO in...what was she going back too? She had confidence that everyone there would be working as fast as possible to get their home back in working order but she was still worried.

She smiled at Gav trying to focus on the good. This was what she had dreamed about right? This was what she had wanted....wasnt it? She shook her head slightly forcing all questions out.

The computer brought back their coordinates for the hyperspace jump and the stars blurred into streaks of light as the Strike left Ziost behind*

Gav Mortis
May 15th, 2001, 12:23:41 PM
Sitting back comfortably in his chair, Gav released a sigh of relief and diverted his attention from Ariel in order to see the stars form brilliant streaking lines as they entereed hyperspace; he was finally headed home. It had been so long since he had seen Correlia, his fellow Sith

...and you, Catherine... he thought to himself. He cast his eyes over to Live Wire as she finished imputting some neccessary calculations. Her hand moved elegantly over the controls; her soft, creamy skin betrayed the fact that she was a Sith or that she had just recently been in a brutal encounter with a Jedi. She truely was a marvel.

Gav once again turned his attention back to Ariel, who was finding great interest in blowing bubbles and feeling his robing. Her eyes were wide with delight, his finger stroked her nose gently in a playful manner.

"And you are one very beautiful little girl! Yes!" he said, and her wide smile responded to his own, there was an immediatly electricity he could feel between himself and this child, for the second time in his life it was almost like he had bonded with another on an indescribable level, it was remarkable.

He always remembered the first time, when he found something inside him that he never knew of before and it was all because of the woman sitting before him. He cast his mind back, thinking of the time he took her to his hidden cove, their time on the beach. It was then he had discovered that through this powerful, confident, unique, amazing woman, he was completed. There was so much he wanted to tell her, he just wish he knew how, was this the right moment?

He shook his head. He couldn't. Not here, not now. It would only complicate matters. His eyes surveyed her closely, he loved the way she would run her hand through her hair when she was tired, the way she felt so strongly about the things in which she believed, the way she was a natural leader and so confident and the way she had shared with him, things she dared never to share with anyone else.

- - - - - - - - -

He looked down, Ariel was falling asleep, she was such a site, she resembled someone and there was such a feeling of familiarity, it was very odd. Holding the tiny child close, he hushed her softly to sleep.

- - - - - - - - -

She was the one person he trusted with all his feelings, she knew him, almost better than he knew himself and although Gav tried to feel what she was feeling, his own emotions raging inside, prevented him from doing so.

Live Wire
May 17th, 2001, 01:26:04 AM
*LW could feel his eyes on her as she finished checking a few last readings. His presence brought up so many memories. Memories she had previously tried to supress because they were so painful. Now they didn't seem so painful.

She relaxed once they were in hyperspace and she was convinced that the ship was operating smoothly. The strike would alert her when it was time to come out of hyperspace or if there was any problems so there was really nothing else for her to do.

Ariel was drifting off to sleep and seemed no worse for her little ordeal. Gav's eyes were shining as he watched her sleep and he had a look of curiosity on his face. It was a picture that made LW smile. She had only seen that look on his face one other time. It was the look of discovery and she wondered if Gav was able to interpret the things he was feeling.She got up from her chair and went and knelt by Gav. Ariel was sleeping peacefully in his arms and he looked up at her.*

She seems to be comfortable with you

*Gav shrugged but Catherine could see right through him. She saw the delight in his eyes when he looked at the baby and felt the connection. The baby shifted in her sleep as LW stroked the top of her head. It felt so good to have her back again. Everything felt right again.

She brushed her hand lightly against Gav's cheek and refamiliarized herself with his eyes. She sensed so much confusion and complication in him. If he wanted to open up to her he would, LW knew better then to pressure him. He knew that she was there for him. There was so much she wanted to say....things to tell him. She wouldn't even know where to start.

As she looked in his eyes so many feelings flooded over her. It was like he had never left. She saw images in her mind, meeting him ages ago at TSC, the late nights they had spent organizing TSO, the night at the cove...so many emotions overwhelmed her. She didn't say anything that she was feeling. There would be time*

I dunno about you but I need something to eat. Care to join me?

Gav Mortis
May 23rd, 2001, 10:27:04 AM
Momentarily turning his glance away from Live Wire's, Gav checked that Ariel was comforatbly asleep, which she certainly was and satisfied, he looked back.

"I'd be glad to. I'll join you in a moment once Ariel is wrapped up, I'll be just a moment."

Live Wire quickly supressed a look of suprise on her face, he was really taking to this baby and was almost adopting a parental role; it was most peculiar.

"Ok. I'll see what we have in the back," and with that she stood and made her way into the rear of her ship were there was a small room, in it was a table with two chairs that pulled down from the wall on either side. It was carmped for sure but sufficient for three or four passengers.

Whilst Live Wire was gathering something to eat, Gav slipped from his seat and kneeling down he gently laid her in the cot. Softly resting her head on the pillow, he allowed it to stroke the light, fluffy hair on top. He smiled at his own softness but his childhood was what paved this path of destruction for him and he wanted to make certain that Ariel never suffered any discomfort as far as he could help it.

"Please forgive me" he whispered under his breath.

Suddenly, a great swell of guilt built inside him as he looked on at the little girl. Slowly he slipped his little finger into the palm of her still hand and instinctively her fingers closed around it. She was so pure and innocent. If he still had any good in him perhaps he would've shed a tear of joy and sorrow. Looking at her tiny hand wrapped around his finger he moved closer, as he did he could hear her soft breathing and his other hand, rested carefully on her chest he felt her heartbeat. It was marvellous. Closing his eyes, he kissed her forehead softly; in that moment he found peace. A burst of powerful emotions ran through his being as freely as the blood in his veins.

He stood, somewhat shocked and scared. He quickly wrapped Ariel in her blankets the moved into the rear of the ship where he saw Live Wire putting something out on the table.

From one perfection to another...save me...

He approached slowly, then carefully taking a seat he asked, "So what have you found? You must be starving!"

Live Wire
May 26th, 2001, 03:11:42 AM
*she looked up as Gav stood in the doorway. She indulged herself in a brief moment to realize how good it felt to have him back in her life. The eyes that haunted her dreams were now in front of her calling to her.

She turned away focusing once more on getting food out for them. She rummaged through another cabinet and found a bottle of wine she had been saving for a special occasion. She held it up and Gav nodded approvingly*

It seems like I've found something to celebrate.

*Gav sat down and she could feel his eyes following her around the small kitchen area. She smiled at the attention he gave her. It had been along time since they had seen one another and she had no doubt changed in his eyes just as he had changed to her.*

I wasnt able to find much. It's been awhile since I've restocked the galley.

*he shrugged as if to say thats fine. She had already put plate of small sandwhiches on the table and she took out a plate of grilled gungan meat from the warmer and sad down*

I hope this will do. I'll have to remember to restock when we get back to TSO.

*Gav opened the wine and poured them each a glass. She held up her glass in a toast to the future and took a sip savoring the sweet wine on her tongue.

She was unable to unlock her gaze from his and she was quiet as she was unsure of what she should say. She took a deep breath and let it out slowly.*

I have missed you.

Edit: spelling
ttt

Gav Mortis
Jun 12th, 2001, 02:26:08 PM
It has been said by some of the wisest the Galaxy has to offer that when you suddenly feel as though your entire physical form has opened up and your precious life blood is spilled in front of a person in a tremendous tidal wave of emotion, you know then the importance of love. With those four simple words came down upon Gav, all the most precious feelings; gentleness, caring, happiness, joy and love with such brutal, relentless force that he was almost knocked out of a reality in which he had almost lost hope with the shock at her words. His heart seemed to pound against his ribs and he felt they would crack under the pressure, a wonderful tingling sensation shot down his arms and legs all the way to his fingers and toes.

It was inevitable that Catherine had felt some of what he experienced, he was unable to hide it, behind the clear blue eyes, sparkled an immense joy and he was unable to hide it. To know that the woman he loved so very much still had feelings for him made everything else seem so irrelivant, almost as if nothing else existed apart from himself and the image of perfection before him. All around, in the usually dull interior of the ship, all colors seemed to gleam in a surreal euphoric manner, no doubt it was Gav's own imagination seeing these things but his feelings were so strong he could not even dare deny them.

The sweet, fruited taste of wine still flustered about in his mouth, it's aromatic scent seeping into his naval cavity allowing him to relish the full bodied richness of the exotic drink. The clinking of the glass on the table seemed distant, slowly his hand left the glass and without thought moved across towards Catherine's. A smile crept across his face, as his hand, no longer quivering with doubt or fear, rested on the smooth, soft skin that was of such a deliciously creamy texture, Gav's senses longed to experience it once again. Like a drug, he was only now realising how much he had been deprived of her and now he had found her, he had truely found himself. Never before, had he experienced an emotional state such as this that all sense of reason and logic were lost in a dwindling cascade of reality.

His fingers softly carressed hers as they slowly wrapped about her petite hand rested on the table. Gently his fingers slipped under the hand and into the warm palm which, as it was facing down, began to be lifted by his own grip in one gentle motion. Simultaneously, he arose from his seat, he almost felt as though he was lifted by the air, floating, as he carefully moved about the table only to meet Catherine, who had now stood out of her chair. Without gesturing or thought, her second, free hand was now embraced in his, however now his grip on her hands was becoming stronger.

He was beginning to fear she would pull away and he would lose the woman he loved, at her touch his own blood seemed to leave his body and enter hers because at that moment, he became one with Catherine and was once again completed. Electricity surged through his body, racing at an increasingly alarming rate like his pulse and his breathing became less controlled and he took gulps of air in heavy, randomn intakes.


"Catherine," he choked, becoming lost in the deep, hypnotic pools that made her dark, exotic eyes.

"Catherine, I..." he tried again. This was impossible, there was no air at all.


"...I..."


It was too late, there were no words. Gav had moved closer, releasing her left hand as he did and bringing to rest on Catherine's smoothly defined neck, his head tilted to the left slightly hesitant and unsure. However he didn't notice Catherine's reaction but allowed his hand to softly slide up her neck in a loving caress until his fingers got lost in an undulating maze of elegant, black hair which ran between the fingers as he moved nearer.


Finally, after what seemed like an eternity of hesitation and doubt, their lips met and he closed his eyes. Immediatly, he felt her soft, full lips press against his own and was able to taste that creamy, fruited flavour for which he had longed. To him, it seemed like every event in his life was leading to this moment when he could finally taste Catherine's perfect, red lips once again. Temptingly, he allowed the tip of his tongue to slide across the inner rim of her lower lip in hope that she would respond. It was in this moment that the fabric of time was shattered and alone he waited, hoping that the woman he loved so much would join him in his realm of euphoria.

Live Wire
Jun 16th, 2001, 02:37:15 AM
*Catherine's eyes looked back at him surprised and unsure as she felt the change wash over him. The way he was looking at her made her heart ache longingly inside of her. The look on his face was the same one she remembered from the fateful night at the cove so long ago and to see it again was wonderful and fightening at the same time. To lose hope and then have everything she had dreamed of again was unreal, too good to be true. The time she had spent away from him had been lonley, and now having him here made all of that a distant memory.

As he took her hand in his she felt a tingle travel up her spine and spread warmly through her body. Their touch was electric as it always had been. There was something about him that always made her feel out of control and while she valued being able to govern her own destiny, with Gav she was happy to relinquish control to him. It was a remarkable feeling that she had yet to experience with anyone else.

She felt herself rise from her chair, she was drawn to him. Emotions had taken over and she was no longer in control. Nothing had changed, but everything had changed, and her brain swirled with confusion as his hands tightly gripped hers. The desire was there but so was the hesitation and the fear. She knew he could sense her nervousness as his blue eyes pierced her soul sharper then any lightsaber. Hiding any of her feelings from him had long been established as impossible.

His voice hypnotized her and drew her in deeper. Words were difficult and unimportant because Catherine could read his heart. Actual words had never been that important to them, not when they could just look into the others soul. She shook her head and smiled.*

"It's okay" she whispered.

*Gav pulled her closer to him and the doubt returned, had too much changed to go back? Images flew through her mind, conflicting, her mind was at odds with itself, battling for a resolution. Gav had a way of making her feel things she had never felt before and it was absolutely intoxicating. Part of her honestly had felt she had moved on, that she had a new life now that Gav wasnt a part of. But the rest of her screamed that it wasn't so. In the end how could she deny her own heart?

The look in her eyes was almost pleading as his fingers moved gently through her long black hair. As Gav held her tenderly the fog lifted from her mind and she knew there was no use denying what she was feeling. She loved him, she had never stopped loving him and as much as she would have liked to believe that she had a new life, she knew what might have been and she couldn't pass up a chance to regain that. How many people got a second chance at happiness?

As their lips met she knew this is what she had waited and longed for. This was the moment she half believed would never happen and here she was in the arms of the man she loved, again. She felt his tongue slide across her lip and her eyes fluttered closed as their tongues met.

She wrapped her arms tightly around him unwilling to let go, afraid that if she opened her eyes she would find this all just a dream. She savored the familiar taste of his kiss and the touch of his hand as time seemed to pause around them. Her soul was open to him as his was to hers.

Slowly and almost regrettfully she came up for air and opened her eyes. They just stood there holding each other feeling what the other was feeling. Catherine had never been able to have this kind of connection with anyone else. They were silent as they refamliarized themselves with each other taking comfort in the others presence. She knew then that there were things she had to tell him. He'd been gone for so long and now he was back in her life and there were many things he had missed.

Gav saw the change in her eyes and looked at her questioningly but Catherine was unsure where to begin. How would he recieve what she had to say. The hesitation ran back in forth in her mind but the look in his eyes slowly drove out away all doubt. Her hand gently caressed his face as she smiled at him. She loved everything about him and she was slowly realizing the true depth of the effect he had on her. Reluctantly she whispered*

You've been gone so long, there are things...things you should know.

*It was almost hard for her too look him in the eyes as she spoke. She knew that she should have told him long ago but back then she didn't have the courage. There were so many things going on back then that the time didnt seem right, and then, then the right time never came. But here was her second chance and she felt obligated to take it. The familiar blue eyes penetrated her soul and she again felt the pain of doubt, how could she tell him after so long?*

Gav Mortis
Jul 19th, 2001, 06:01:22 AM
And in that moment, all time and space were obliterated into nothingness. Even the Force itself bared no comparison to the power between Gav and Catherine and in it's wake was left a black empty void. Life in it's entirity had today been given a new meaning for Gav, or so it seemed, for he had once again been born into a life in which there was love and light; but as for newborn and light, an intelligent writer once said, "They give birth astride of the grave, the light gleams an instant, the it is night once more."

Would this light diminish and the emptiness of reality return and haunt him more than an eternity of sorrow?

Soon, all good things must come to an end and so their loving embrace was broken, their lips departed and there was silence. Not an uncomfortable silence, but one of mutual adoration and in Gavs case, unconditional love for catherine, who had shown him the way to happiness once again. Her eyes sparkled brighter and more beautiful than any precious stone, and even more so within, she gleamed and shone brighter than any star; a true marvel.

Catherine was in that moment, the definition of Gavs very existence, representing woman and he, man, Adam and Eve; a perfect love destined forever?

When she spoke, words rolled from her luscious tongue more eloquent and poetic than any work of literature and in them, he was enthralled and humbled to listen.

"You've been gone so long, there are things...things you should know."

Despite the beauty of her voice, he was able to realise that deep within there was something very important she needed to tell him, something she had been hiding so secure that he hadn't been aware she was hiding anything. If she was ever to open her heart to him, to say what she had to say, now was the time.

The euphoria was absent during this time of utter seriousness and taking Catherines hand Gav sat down next to her on a bed to the rear of the vessel, a reasonably large bed, comfortable and perfect for sharing a moment like this. He dared not sit opposite her like in an interrogation, instead, he sat next to her, holding her hands warm in his. He was open and ready to accept what she had to tell him, he looked into her clear eyes and said, "Ok. If you're comfortable with this. What is it I should know?"

Live Wire
Jul 20th, 2001, 05:03:19 AM
*Would he understand? She had gone over this conversation many times in her mind even though, at the time, she knew it was one she would never have. Despite all that she had never found the right way to say it. She knew that the truth would all have to come out eventually but now that the moment was here she found herself floundering and unprepared. His hands felt warm around hers and she found herself drawing strength from his presence. A strength she hadn’t known she relied so heavily upon until it had been ripped from her. She felt as if he could read her secrets right off of her face before she was able to get the words out and avoided his gaze with her eyes.*

“Just tell me,” he said reassuringly. “Whatever it is, I promise it will be okay.”

*With determination in her eyes she plunged right ahead. Stalling wouldn’t make it any easier and it would be better just to get it said. What happened after that….well she’d deal with it.*

I know, you haven’t said anything but I can see it. *She began and he looked at her questioningly* When you first held Ariel, I could see the change in you. You feel…. Connected to her don’t you?

*Gav nodded remaining silent. Though it somewhat disturbed him that it had been quite so obvious. Of course he never had been able to hide very much from Catherine.

She took a deep breath before continuing. She had never admitted this before.*

Well it’s partially because Ariel is my daughter. I kept it secret from almost everyone cause I thought that maybe it would be easier on her if she didn’t know I was her mother.

“That must have been hard on you.” *Gav kissed her hand tenderly* “How could you have thought that? She’s lucky to have you as her mother.”

*Catherine shrugged off his words. Her reasons were her reasons.* Well that’s not all of it…..

“What’s the rest of it?”

*She looked up into his eyes and quietly said,* You’re her father.

Gav Mortis
Aug 20th, 2001, 10:22:39 AM
Irony or inevitability. The first time he strays from the path to which he had so solemnly swared his loyalty, in loving Catherine did now the ugly face of fate turn to him with a malicious grin and his punishment for being happy comes in the form an innocent baby girl.

Gav was silent, he averted his gaze from Catherines bright, wide eyes; he wasn't strong enough to face them and now he found it was him needing comfort from Catherine holding his hand. He was always aware of such risks; it was part of his philosophy in life - a Sith lives a life of damnation and in the end will only die and true enough, this wicked curse llived up to its name and at the first sign of hapiness in his life he has it all mercilessly ripped form him.

<HR>

Where do I go from now?
Surely it all can't end here, not like this!
Is this where the paths ends for me? This is my destiny?
To be a father who looks back on the past wishing he could've done things differently?

Thought after thought cascades through my mind and yes I am scared, terrified. I was foolish not to think of the consequences of my love for her and now this is what I deserve. The minutes pass like seconds whilst I ponder all possibilities - but I can't think of a conclusion that will make everyone happy - especially Catherine who I am sure has intentions of growing her into a respectable Sith warrior.

But not I. That day, when I arrived on Yavin IV all those years ago and promised myself never to neglect my children and never let them succum to the lures of the Force; be they Light or Dark - it only leads to misery.

Then so be it. I cannot stay at Corellia for too long before I become too attatched to Ariel and try to stop Catherine and her agenda for a baby she is mother to. I will not bring any conflict to their lives. I should tell her as it is obvious from the way she is looking at me that she is very worried.

<HR>

"Catherine," he said gently, thoughtfully, "You are right - I did indeed feel a strong bond with the child the moment I picked her up however I was too arrogant to even consider for one moment that she was my child."

He paused, not rushing any of his words, choosing them carefully, "When I was a young boy, I made a promise to myself never to have children because I was afraid that with my way of life, they would be neglected or fall to the path of Darkness. Yes, I say fall because I see the life ahead of me as one of a man, damned to eternal misery. And now, this is proven for the moment I find true happiness I have it cruelly taken from me. I do not see Ariel as a punishment or burden, but merely an instruction by way of the Force. I have strayed from the path and now I must return for I am aware of your intentions for Ariel and as I have said, I wouldn't want my children to even know of their fathers way of life, let alone become involved in the Light-Dark conflict."

"That is why I cannot stay on Corellia for very long because I don't want to get in the way of you mothering the child the way you feel you must."

He took her hand and brought it up to his face pressing her warm fingertips on his face, he closed his eyes at the sheer bliss of her toutch, opening them once again he looking into her eyes and said, "Catherine, I love you. My love for you is stronger than any grip of darkness and the Force itself, bares no comparison in strength. When I am with you, my life has meaning at last and everything else fades away to nothingness as though the only thing that exists is a love, one shared before time itself."

<HR>

"Yes, that time at the cove I made a mistake but will not regret it." I take both her hands in mine, deep inside, I feel my heart bleeding in need of a love that is forbidden and if I stare at her in all her radiant magnifisence any longer, I'd probably break down and cry. I lean forward and tilt my head to the left so that the tips of our noses just about touch, and I find myself lost in her eyes. The place were I want to stay forever.

"But it is a mistake I want to make."