No Hard Feelings?

[Halajiin Rabeak]

The first step out of his cell took Hal a moment. He knew he was free to leave, but he'd spent so long trying to prove that he was trustworthy enough to go free, the Nehantite still questioned if he'd earned that right yet.

Just go. His base natures urged him.

That was the push he needed, and with a nod after that handshake, Halajiin walked out into the corridor a (mostly) free man. There had been enough time to adjust to the feeling of real gravity again, but walking free and alone felt foreign after so many months of lockdown and escorted walks. And with each step, the air grew more crisp and clear, tasting ever better, even if slightly of lye, as he approached the doors of the open docking bay left exposed to the outside world.

Then came the sunlight. His pink eyes squinted hard, pupils shrinking to near pinprick dots as he tried to adjust to its sheer brilliance. Not even out in its direct light, yet, Hal marveled the sun made the outside world appear blinding in whites and golds. Slowly his eyes adjusted, though he still had to lift a paw to shield his eyes once he left the shaded shelter of the docking bay.

It's beautiful. His higher functions were at last able to take in something more than four gray walls.

Feel that warmth.

It feels like... home.

We're really going to need some CC30. Bad.

Crap, you're right. This isn't helping, is it? Just, uh... think really unsexy thoughts for now, okay? I'll see what I can dredge up.

As Hal attempted to balance the raging surge of hormones which welled up inside of him at the thought of being out in the wild, again, he also looked around his new setting with dismay. The term "shantytown" best described the Jedi's new encampment, and it was not the vision of Ossus he'd seen before.

He'd been there once, as part of a field excursion while he was still an unclaimed youth in training at the temple. He was sixteen, then, and Ossus had seemed a magnificent, verdant wonderland at the time, and so it was with crushing heartbreak that he saw it turned into a refugee camp, knowing that was to be his new home.

One day at a time. Remember, just one day at a time.

But... this sucks. Why does everything in the future suck? We were supposed to have rocket-shoes in the future, not this!

You don't even have shoes at all, right now.

Don't remind me. And we've got about, what four or five days before that last CC30 wears off.

You should have at least a week.

Outside, free again? No way, we're going to burn through that stuff way faster, now. And if we don't get more, we're going to wind up back in that cell for something much more serious, I'd wager.

Keep control of yourself. If need be we can disappear into the woods for a while.

While on probation?

It'd be better than getting busted for what you know would happen, otherwise.

True. Let's... let's not think about that, okay?

As Hal's higher and lower functions debated with each other, he continued to survey his new landscape until he spotted Loki. If there was anyone he owed an apology to, it was Loki, and Loki also still had his lightsaber. Taking a deep breath, he strode across the uneven ground, trying not to feel the sharp pebbles against his now-soft pawpads as he went.

"Hey," was all Hal could say, stopping easily a few paces away, not wanting to get too close.

[Abarai Loki]

Loki heard the voice before he saw the source of it, for he was staring skywards, chugging cold water from a canteen. Above, the sky was clear and blue, and free from the usual comings and goings of noisy freighters – a momentary reprieve at best. The day had started out poorly enough, he'd slept in and had to deal with the dreary queue for the sonic shower, but things had picked up considerably with breakfast, and now, upon leaving the marquee, everything had gone south once again. Had he not been drinking he would've surely bristled at the sight of Halajin Rabeak. And what a frightful sight he made, too. Half of it was a natural consequence of his incarceration, but the other half was simply neglect; neglecting to have the basic decency to wash and dress appropriately before inflicting himself upon civilised society. His sudden appearance wasn't an enormous shock, given the Council's habit for leniency with the disreputable Nehantite, and what with them having established for themselves a home he expected it wouldn't be long before their collective resolve wavered. Somehow, despite their combined wisdom, they failed to identify how inherently counter-productive it was to introduce a wrecking ball to a building site. Surprised though he was, he'd had a long time to prepare for this moment, and set his gaze upon him like the first time they met.

"Halajin Rabeak.”

[Halajiin Rabeak]

Well, would you look at that, he practically jumped for joy.

This might be harder than we thought.

What? Why's that? Sure, he's mad at you for tricking him, but he still got to be a hero after Ilum, and you gave him the adventure he was looking for. Logically, he should be happy to see you.

You know, for being my logic, you make very little sense, sometimes.

While his higher and lower functions argued with each other, Hal let his heart do the thinking and speaking instead. He had wronged Loki, and he knew it. The young knight had never once come to see him, and even now Hal could sense animosity rolling in waves off the young man - animosity that was well-deserved.

"They, uh, they let me out, at last," were the first words that fell out of his mouth.

His tail flicking with unease, Hal found himself looking down at the ground, still ashamed at what he'd done. "I wanted to come say I'm sorry."

[Abarai Loki]

"I see."

It was shame, or at least a projection of it, that came shackled with the apology. In his present state, Halajiin resembled a bashful child, and Loki found that rather fitting. He inspected the mongoose from matted headfur to bare feet, his gaze and unfaltering. Under the curtain of shade thrown out by the Whaladon, the air was cool and still, a refreshing departure from the stifling heat and dust that would make someone like Halajiin feel right at home. After a brief silence in which he recapped and replaced the canteen on his hip, he added:

"Do you know what it is you're apologising for?"

[Halajiin Rabeak]

Of all the nerve! Of course he knows what we're apologizing for!

Hey, simmer down. Let's let this take its course.

Pink eyes drifted back up from the dirt to look back into Loki's own. The Nehantite was unusually calm and still as he nodded. "I do," he answered. "Many things. Deceiving the Council, putting Jedi and Rebellion personnel at risk, for using anger to drive my goals, but most of all... for lying to you."

He straightened up at that, giving it a moment to sink in before he continued. "What I did, I did because I thought it was right, but I went about it the wrong way, and I know that. That's why I went back to the Whaladon alone, before the rest of you. I went to take the blame, and to admit my fault. I'm sorry for deceiving you, Loki, but I'm not sorry for the actions we took against the Empire in service of the Jedi."

[Abarai Loki]

To Halajiin's credit, it had started out well enough, his perfunctory apology. That he had, whether intentionally or unintentionally, came to him first to address his transgressions suggested at something that had some thought behind it. But all of it, every word, came crashing down with his last clumsy sentence. That Loki hadn't snorted with derision was a condemnation in itself of the mongoose Jedi's predictability. He gave his chrono a cursory glance.

"Then you aren't sorry at all, are you?"

[Halajiin Rabeak]

"What?" Hal said, taken aback.

Opening his stance, the mongoose adopted a more defiant posture, that defiance seeping into his voice and facial expressions as well while his tail began to brush.

"I just said I was sorry, and I meant it. I still mean it," he said. "It was wrong to deceive you, and it was wrong to endanger you, and I'm sorry about that. But do you really think it was wrong to take back what is ours?" His ears angled back, lip curling in a light sneer.

"You didn't think it was so wrong at the time. In fact, you jumped at the chance to do it."

[Abarai Loki]

"The ends do not justify the means, Halajiin Rabeak. Under the pretenses it was executed, the entire undertaking was shameful, and it is to your own dishonour that you do not regret it."

The old signs were already surfacing; the defiant tone, the animated tail, the angled ears, and the curling lip. It was like no time at all had passed between them, and yet it had, and to Loki, who was becoming more accustomed to dealing with childish tantrums than he'd care to admit, it seemed that time had changed only one of them. His attempt to turn it on him simply prompted a single raised eyebrow. This was a textbook example, perfect enough to set one's chrono to - in fact, he already had.

"And so quick to redirect the blame. I have made peace with my part in your pantomime. Why can't you?"

[Halajiin Rabeak]

You little dick.

Hey now, he's still a kid! Of course it's-

No! Stop right there! Yeesh, and you think my mind is in the gutter!

The momentary bickering among his faculties was washed away by Hal's resolve to set things straight. Perhaps not right, but at least straight. Letting his paws slip to his pockets, hooking his thumbs into them, the Nehantite shrugged.

"I am at peace with the actions I took," he replied. "I always was. What I wasn't at peace with was lying to you, especially after seeing you fight so bravely out there. That's what I came to apologize for. But, if you won't accept that, guess there's not much I can do to change your mind."

[Abarai Loki]

"Change my mind? Halajiin Rabeak, what good is an apology if it doesn't change you?"

Something was stopping Loki from just walking away and shrugging off the ugly scene as he'd done so many times in the past. Memories resurfaced the moment he mentioned their battle on Ilum. They were fond memories. Inwardly, he knew there was no debating the fact that the mission had been a success and had provided the Jedi with invaluable supplies. The crystals changed many things for the better, not least of all morale. It was Halajiin's deception that had poisoned everything; it had undermined the Council's authority, and had succeeded in making him look like an overzealous fool - a bitter pill to swallow. But more than that, it had made him complicit in putting the lives of his friend, Cirrsseeto Raurrssatta, and his crew, and fellow Jedi at risk, all because of his selfish need for adventure. The apologies had been given long ago, and true to his word, Loki had changed for each them. A change that was making him a more patient and tolerant Jedi; to walk away from Halajiin now was to betray that oath. So, he took a long breath, found a seat in the form of a disused crate, and explained.

"There would've been no mission without your deception, those things go hand-in-hand. So when you say you do not regret the mission, you are in fact retracting your apology to me. It suggests to me you would be prepared to do it again, and that nothing was learned from your experience. Would you be able to accept an apology like that?"

[Halajiin Rabeak]

Hal needed no internal conversation, that time. There were some things he simply new, and his two halves didn't have to argue over.

Giving another shrug, he answered frankly, "Well, yeah, if it came from a friend. Just because someone did something wrong doesn't mean they can't feel bad for how it affected others. But, you're right, I don't regret the mission, and I would do it, again. Though I'd do it alone, as not to put anyone else in danger."

[Abarai Loki]

"Then you have changed."

Perhaps Halajiin refused to see it, and maybe, up until a moment ago, Loki would've been incapable of believing it himself, but there could be no denying the sincerity of his last concession. He considered the Nehantite across from him, and knew at once the inherent risk of unleashing him, as he was, upon their humble community. He was a wild card and, more importantly, a rule-breaker who could, on a whim, jeopardise the safety of every Jedi on the planet with his overzealous antics. There was reassurance to be had in his final words that kept Loki from walking away and abandoning all hope on his old comrade. Comrade - Loki considered the expression. Halajiin Rabeak called him a friend, and he couldn't decide who that said more about.

"If your incarceration has granted you clarity, I am curious what you intend to do with it now that you are, as they say, a free man?"

[Halajiin Rabeak]

Some could reply with the perfect words, articulating their reform, and their desire to move ahead and do grand things to make up for the injustice they had brought upon others. Some could craft a reply so great that one wished they'd never been locked away so long. And some could simply be silent and let others see their deeds in lieu of flowery speeches.

Hal simply shrugged.

"I dunno, really," he answered, no true commitment in his voice. "Once again, while I was out of action, everything changed. There's peace, now, I hear, and we'll be allowed to rebuild."

The Nehantite paused to smooth out his wrinkled shirt, a hopeless gesture, while his tail swayed idly. "Guess the first thing I need to do is find out if I still have my old room. Then, find out what they'll let me do, around here. If nothing else, probably go rummage around in the old archives. That's prettymuch what I used to do back when I first joined the Order, when nobody wanted me around."

[Abarai Loki]

"You may find yourself somewhat out of place. The majority of people to enter the library have been military, assigned to ascertain its structural stability before the Jedi make proper use of it. I believe Wei Wu Wei is planning the first official expedition into the grounds, however, in which case you may wish to speak with him."

Knowing Halajiin as he did, it took no great leap of imagination to consider the mongoose Jedi found this new information a source of frustration - patience was not his strong suit. He spoke of spending time in the archives; falling back on old survival tactics from the lonely days of his youth at the Jedi Order. It gave Loki pause for thought. Perhaps this was an opportunity to prevent him from repeating the same mistakes, and if he was indeed given the chance to rehabilitate Halajiin Rabeak into something other than the lonewolf deviant of the Order, then it was his duty to see it through. It was also imperative, he knew, that, if he was to have any success, Halajiin must not become aware of his new personal mission.

"In the time I've known you, Halajiin Rabeak, you've never once struck me as someone particularly scholarly. You are a man of action. Tell me, how will you solve your sense of alienation by sequestering yourself in old ruins?"