Rebel in need of a cause...

[Taddius "Ram" Rammstein]

OORP- If this is the wrong place for this, advanced apologies and please let me know.

As I lie here floating in this icy water, face down of course, all I can think about, wonder really is what sentients might think if they walked on this scene right now. It's not that this is terrible, but it's something that you really don't see every day, you see I'm in my last day of training. I had never thought I would "go back to school" so to speak, but really this is important. Let me start from the beginning.

Years ago.

"Is this really what you want to do, son?" His mother asked him, she was nervous about the thought of her boy, the one she spent those long nights bottle feeding, going into the awful military and their guns. She wasn't going to stand in his way, his father wouldn't allow that but she was going to do everything she could to change his mind and keep him home if she could.

"Kail please, you're smothering him again. I don't like the idea myself but he's a good lad, this is a good thing for him." What he said was true, Dalien wanted Taddius to be an educator, just like he and his mother but frankly the boy didn't have the grades, or the temperament to be one. No, this was the way that Tad indeed needed to follow in order to fulfill his goals in life.

"Mother, you and Dad raised me well. I have his inner strength and your sense of right and wrong. I want to serve and this is the best way to do it for me. Lieutenant Galien believes that with a lot of hard work and training, I could even make it all the way to Royal Guard. I would be in the Palace guarding King Organa and his family." The thought of such an accomplishment, such an honor had lit up his normally glum face. One would think that this would be enough for his, or any parents, to support him but his mother would not give up. Sure, she would put on her happy face and let him get on the transport that would take them to the Elysium Foundation for training, but no, she didn't support this. Her family had some pull and she could have him back soon enough, and Galien, nor Taddius would be the wiser.

Years later.

This was to be the greatest day of his life. The goal he once thought was the impossible dream was being achieved and it was done so fairly quickly. Taddius, or "Ram" as his friends and compatriots in the advanced 483rd platoon were calling him was being accepted into the Royal Guard. This was an honor that some soldiers had spent decades trying to get into and still couldn't and he was a part of them. The best part of it all would be if his parents were to see it when he was awarded the medal and rank.

The problem is only Galien was there, Kail refused to watch her "warmonger" son off to more training. She had spent the past years trying to get him to resign his commission or retire and he would not, she tried to get him discharged through family channels and those did not work either. No, he was not her little boy anymore, he didn't want to be her son in her eyes and if that was the case then she was not going to be there for him. Galien didn't see this, this was their only child and he was doing what he loved, there was no way both parents would not be there.

"Son, I know that it doesn't look to be the case, but your mother is proud of you." Both Galien and Taddius knew this wasn't true, but the Ronto in the room had to be addressed. Of course Tad didn't even want to look that way, he was too excited for his future.

"Thanks Dad. It's exciting to think that the next time you see me, it will be in the Palace." The smile on his face was gleaming as he wanted to spend time with his father, but the thought of the important work was just too much to think about. "I'll be training in guardsmanship and ettiquette at the Elysium and then in operations training I'll actually be going to Corellia." His smile, if possible had just become a little wider. "Father, I will be training with Corsec. Corsec, Father! Do you know what kind of honor that is?"

A year later.

"Do you have another target? Perhaps a military target? Than name the system!"

"Dantooine, the Rebel Base is on Dantooine."

"Commence firing procedures."

"No!"

"You're far too trusting. Dantooine is too remote for an effective demonstration, but don't worry, we'll deal with your Rebel friends soon enough."

Ironically, I was on Dantooine at the time. I was waiting for a transfer point from Corellia back to Alderaan when I found out. All of that time spent, all of the time wasted not talking to my mother. Even talking to my father wasn't enough, this was a horrible point. I lost my parents, I lost my friends, I lost my bloody planet, my home, everything.

You know, for all of my failings in life, just cruising though it all with no real purpose, this is what made sense to me and for no reason it was gone. I was willing to give the thought of the Empire a chance and what do they do? They destroy my home. At this point in my life I wanted vengeance, I wanted to just destroy everything I could see that had an Imperial symbol.

4 months later.

Sitting in a Cantina on Corellia, a very drunk, very "chemically enhanced" Taddius sat in a corner booth staring at the half empty pitcher of ale. He was accepted into Corsec, with his training in the Alderaan army as well as Royal Guard and Corsec's cross training it was a natural fit. The problem is that he couldn't fit in and he couldn't get over the loss of everything, natural sure, but it was a road he would go down and reach a horrible ending.

If a Bothan hadn't walked up to him.

"Terrible shame about Alderaan."

Taddius just flickered his eyes up on the individual, the look of drunken disdain on his face was a mixture of drugs, alcohol, and sorrow. One thing was certain though, he didn't like this individual at all. "Get to your point, or get away from me."

The Bothan, we'll call him Gung, just smiled. Really he expected this, after all it's not every day one runs into a Bothan away from Bothaui. What he didn't expect was the condition that the kid was in. Taddius was a mess and frankly was close to being arrested in the shape he was in. There was something though that he was, and he was one who could make a difference if given the right push. "Is that what Kail would say?"

Of course this brought Taddius to his feet.

"What about Torner? Walla? Anqo? What about them? What would they say if they saw you? What about Galien?"

Of course the alcohol brought out his response, "Go to Mustafar. You no good... you have no idea what I'm going through and throwing up a couple names from my past will help."

Crosses his arms over each other, Gung just raised an eyebrow at the individual who looked like he wanted get into the fight of his life. "Charming, you have a lot of anger, why not direct it? Why not turn this drunken drug filled rage into something meaningful? I know all about you Taddius. I know that your parents were educators, and your mom wanted you home. I know you thought, and probably think that she didn't care but I know the truth. She was proud of the person you became but she wasn't happy that you were living a dangerous life. Right now you don't know what else you can do, but I know of like minded individuals. We've all lost, like you.

The difference with us is that we want to make sure no one else loses what we had. We carry on so that those who lost their lives, aren't forgotten, aren't wasted."

Not convinced, Taddius just stood there with an incredulous look on his face. "Somehow you think that I would be a great fit and serve you all like some good little soldier, right? What? Some kind of mercenary?"

Gung just smiled. "No actually. Not in the state you're in. You're a damn junkie but you used to be someone special. You're no game changing superhero but you had the skills and the will that exemplified who we are. The problem with you right now is nothing that can't be fixed but you have to get cleaned up."

Still the defiant drunk, Taddius just sat back down. "Bugger off."

Gung did indeed go to leave, but not before getting the last word. "Your mother was a good friend of mine since we were children together. She asked me to look over you. When you get yourself cleaned up, you can find me in the Ztir Resort, I'll be there for two more days."

Two days later, I went there and found him. I didn't go there because of anything he said about mom, or dad, or my friends, no. No, I went there because I lost my planet, I don't want anyone else ever to feel that way. If this means I have to do menial little things, or if we fight in back alleys and blow up backwater Imperial recruitment centers to do so, I will. Of course that's not what the Alliance did, or does in this case. The thing is, I was there for a reason and for the first time in months, it felt great being clean and sober.
Some time later.

Bothaui's climate proved to be something that Taddius was not used to but he persevered. In fact he was working hard and learning the tactics of none other than the Rebel Alliance. He wasn't fully trusted yet, not because of his background, or his admitted initial Imperial open mindedness but because it's natural, he had to earn their trust and he had absolutely no issue doing so. It took some time but the former Alderaanian Palace Guard was a full fledged member of the Rebel Alliance Army. Taddius, or "Ram" as he was asking to be called, in honor of his fallen friends, was fitting in.

Then things changed again on that fateful night he had overheard the words "Special Forces".

Sometime later.

[Taddius "Ram" Rammstein]

Bothaui's climate proved to be something that Taddius was not used to but he persevered. In fact he was working hard and learning the tactics of none other than the Rebel Alliance. He wasn't fully trusted yet, not because of his background, or his admitted initial Imperial open mindedness but because it's natural, he had to earn their trust and he had absolutely no issue doing so. It took some time but the former Alderaanian Palace Guard was a full fledged member of the Rebel Alliance Army. Taddius, or "Ram" as he was asking to be called, in honor of his fallen friends, was fitting in.

Then things changed again on that fateful night he had overheard the words "Special Forces".

Sometime that night.

"Is this the room?"

"Yeah, he's in there."

"By the book, nice and quiet."

"Let's do this."

In the middle of the night, the four black clad, masked individuals busted into the barracks and sedated everyone in there, all but one. Taddius was asleep like the rest of them, but he was bound gagged and a hood placed over his head as they dragged him out. His muffled screams didn't make a single bit of difference as only they knew where he was going. The next thing he remembered was when the hood was pulled off of his head as he was forced to his feet. The light was intense, natural when you were in pitch dark conditions for who knows how long.

The man, a Sullustan, battle hardened and scarred heavily, paced between Taddius and the twelve others who were around him. They all looked to be as confused as he was, even a little scared. Of course everyone around was in their faces, yelling at them to "stand straight" or "man up". The Sullustan was incapable of speaking basic but about everyone understood him. "My name is Chief Warniz. For your sake, for your life, for your livelihood I am whatever deity you pray to at night. Now, some of you are wondering why you're here."

A Weequay Taddius recognized yelled something out. He wasn't fluent in Huttese but he knew the expression to be something along the lines of "You bet we do!" The "guards" we'll call them, all dressed in black roughed him up a bit before forcing him to his feet again. Warniz just stood and watched. "Anyone else wanna be an idiot? Now, you're here because you were heard wanting to find out about Special Forces. I'm here to show you the mistake it is for a bunch of Gundark dung like yourselves to pretend that they're real soldiers."

I remembered it, remembered the exact moment, I was in the Cantina with Gung, he kept trying to get me to drink, testing me. I told him I would rather blow up an Imperial installation by myself than take another drink. That's when he stopped with that stupid eyebrow of his and asked me why I would say that. I told him I was reading up and listening to rumors about these guys who go in, "infiltrate" a place, do what they have to do and get out before anyone even knew they went in. That furhead sold me out.

"Now I'm sure some of you think that you got what it takes, that you gloryhounds want to be 'The Hero of the Republic'. It ain't happenin' boys. Truth is Special Forces are the tough guys, but you made the mistake of being sent to me. You see the people I'm turning you little mama's boys and daddy's girls away from do the nasty work, they go in behind enemy lines, or into a building, and take out a target quietly, or blow something up.

No, they're never gonna get recognition, they're never gonna get remembered, in fact they're never even gonna be seen. These men and women don't exist. It's a quiet existence but without us, well I shudder to think what would happen."

Stopping in front of Taddius with a smug smirk on his face, Warniz just eyed our hero for a few moments. "A great soldier once said 'We're heartless so the Republic doesn't have to be.' You know why? Without us blowing up AA turrets that're hidden Rogue Squadron can't fly in and take out an AT-AT factory. Without us disabling a comm tower, bucketheads can't talk to their troops and our boys can move in. We do the dirty work that is necessary, we treat the bucketheads like they treat us. Can you handle that little man? Do you think that you could kill all in the name of an op? Or're you still cryin' over Alderaan?"

He knew, it was his job to know. Taddius however didn't like it and went to punch him; he didn't make it as three of the guards were on him roughing him up. The next few weeks were rough, they were indeed in Special Forces training, the Infiltrators, it nearly killed him those first couple of weeks. However what it did was prepare him for a huge test. He found himself on top of a 100 ft tower overlooking a deep pool. He was being ordered to jump, only one problem, he couldn't swim.

He jumped anyway.

The impact on the water was like being slapped in the chest by a large board. He must have swallowed a quart of water and the cold water was even more of a shock to his body, but he kept his composure. His body position was still compact for the entry into the water so he wasn't deep, all he had to do was push and kick his way up to the surface. It was hard, terrifying and terrible and he took longer than others did to surface, but he still did.

When he did, gasping for air and needing help to get to the side he had gotten it, willingly and he had gotten a more welcoming reception from the instructors, the ones who he thought were guards, and Warniz. The grumpy old chief just knelled down next to him with a smile. "You son, just entered the program... now the real training begins."

I didn't know it at the time but those past few weeks were all about cardiovascular conditioning, only 3 of us made it this far but that was what the training was about, right?

Some time later.

Which leads me back to this body of water I'm floating in, you see I'm on my final test and all I have to do is get into the boat dock I'm floating next to without being seen entering from the outside. Remember how I couldn't swim?

Slowly he contorted his body and dove under water, kicking his way through to the underside of the docks where he surfaced in the middle of it. Around him were commanders of Special Forces and the Army as a whole, not to mention Warniz. He made it, his training was complete as the swim was to signify his journey from one world to the next and not being seen meant he "no longer existed". Warniz had only one question for him. "Congratulations kid, now what should they call you? "Tad"?"

Swimming to the side, Taddius just smiled. "My friends call me 'Ram'."

Present day, Present time.

That was a great day, and the training was intense, but I made it through and I was indeed made an Infiltrator. I went on a few missions too. So why am I telling you about this now? This mission is to find Chief Warniz; command lost contact with him on Togoria as he was on a "tag and rag" mission. He had to find proof of life of an Aqualish who had a heavy level of intel on a division of Imperial walkers in the area. If he's dead I need to clean him of any alliance tech and move on, if he's alive I need to tie off loose ends. I guess this is what they mean by how heartless we really have to be. The thing about it all is, the sweeper team that's patrolling the perimeter of the walker camp is standing over this very pond of water I'm lying in. I've heard them wonder if I'm dead several times, one wants to shoot me just to be sure. If I sink, they'll search for me, so all I can do is wait.

Thank the maker for rebreathers.

Move on they did though and "Ram" was able to disappear. He had the walker division between he and Warniz, not to mention the Aqualish. So he had to wait for the cover of nightfall, it was a good idea as he had his gear. By a rule most Infiltrators carry light loads in order to move quick and silent, Taddius was no different but he made sure to carry a carbine as well for this mission. He wouldn't use it unless he had to as he had his normal gear; the knives, the blaster, and his compound bow and arrow. It was the old style weapon he preferred as the only sound they made were sailing through the air and bringing out the last gasp from the Imperials they struck. He didn't kill everyone as the rest were asleep, and he didn't have any explosives but this time he didn't need them, one of the patrols was dumb enough to carry charges. Why they would need charges was beyond him but they were dead, they didn't need them anymore and those little pieces of baradium fit well on the walker's legs.

Moving on quickly, his next was Warniz and maybe the Aqualish he was supposed to tag. Well it's funny because the two were together and were talking in a hut in a small town. The thing is they were talking about charges being set around the town and set to blow the minute a special forces squad came in for a rescue. The entire thing was a set-up and set to make the Alliance look like terrorists to the people of the planet. Ram heard all of this, he wanted to kill the both of them, but he followed orders and contacted command.

He contacted them for an airstrike.