Chapter 4: MORE THAN 1000 OGRES

[Dasquian Belargic]

Continues this Sunday, Sept 16th!

Will we discover exactly how many ogres there are?
Can all of us avoid getting gang-raped by said ogres?
Will we ever find Glenn's lost love, Vera? :ohno

[Crusader]

The last time on the Dark Banana:



3 years before the events of more than a thousand Ogres:
The Heroes travel back from Liscom's valley to Khunchom where they stay for another year. They celebrate Colon and Shira's marriage at the summit the following year. Colon and his sister's mind recovered under Kurth's care. After this they take a ship to Periccium.


In Periccium the Heroes run into Dexter Nemrode and a party of hunters at a tavern. One of the hunters is Ravenmouth's son. They tell the story about the last 14 months in Gareth:
<table style="width:auto;"><tbody><tr><td>https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-1v5emf3tiLE/TxGkNoBd2vI/AAAAAAAAAQs/MTMgZMSEWic/s800/Dexter%2520Nemrod.jpg (https://picasaweb.google.com/lh/photo/IKuyOhKZtxq38V9tebXo69MTjNZETYmyPJy0liipFm0?feat=e mbedwebsite)</td></tr><tr><td style="font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:11px; text-align:right">From Tournament of Gareth (https://picasaweb.google.com/113971247389847352428/TournamentOfGareth?authuser=0&feat=embedwebsite)</td></tr></tbody></table>

Emperor Hal had pronounced himself God-Emperor of the Middle Realm after an incident at the royal opera. A young noble woman had sneaked into his lodge and tried to “please” the emperor to gain his favor. Hal was so mad about this invasion of his privacy that he nearly beat the young thing senseless by himself.


A week after that at the great opening service of the new Praios Cathedral in the city of light he announced that he as a descendant from Praios himself should from now on be addressed as "your deity" and no mortal man or woman is allowed to near themselves to the emperor any closer than 12 feet without his permission. One foot for each god he says.
<table style="width:auto;"><tbody><tr><td>https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-v4wmkyYdOFI/TxGkKq-CU9I/AAAAAAAAAP8/osXHijBiDoM/s400/Hal_of_Gareth_color.jpg (https://picasaweb.google.com/lh/photo/g8oqSy-fo7gjHCQZCwsaDNMTjNZETYmyPJy0liipFm0?feat=embedweb site)</td></tr><tr><td style="font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:11px; text-align:right">From Tournament of Gareth (https://picasaweb.google.com/113971247389847352428/TournamentOfGareth?authuser=0&feat=embedwebsite)</td></tr></tbody></table>

A month later a woman of unmatched beauty appeared in the throne room. No one in the panther guard(Hal's personal bodyguards) remembered giving her permission for entrance. She walked up to the throne and claimed that her name is Namedia and that she is a mighty Astrologist from the south a true mistress in the art of telling the future with the long lost knowledge of the diamond sultanate. "A scholar worthy of a god emperor" Hal claimed and soon she gained his favor and a seat right next to him. She was treated like a royal mistress.

An insult to the Emperor's real wife but Hal never loved his wife in the first place but he was never fond of other women as well. This does not mean that Hal has got a problem with women. He searches a lot of contact to women when it comes to the matter of the fine arts and fashion but only on a friendship but never on a romantic level.

<table style="width:auto;"><tbody><tr><td>https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-1ygwzlzeVcs/UE_Ls3qsAUI/AAAAAAAAAZ4/IwVophtVKns/s800/Nahema_ai_Tamerlein.jpg (https://picasaweb.google.com/lh/photo/1l-bgER__T-kE5HDGsb2ltMTjNZETYmyPJy0liipFm0?feat=embedwebsite )</td></tr><tr><td style="font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:11px; text-align:right">From Tournament of Gareth (https://picasaweb.google.com/113971247389847352428/TournamentOfGareth?authuser=0&feat=embedwebsite)</td></tr></tbody></table>

So while Namedia rose in power, the court wizard Galotta fell more and more in the emperor's grace. First Namedia convinced Hal that a God-Emperor would need more than one court wizard. So Hal hired three. Then Namedia came up with competitions for the wizards. Galotta bested his competitors for straight two weeks, in this exhausting tournament of the mind. Trying to proof Hal that he the prodigy, the magical wunderkind was the only wizard he needed.
Then on the 15th night after a long party in the emperors ballroom the emperor summoned the wizards for a special request. Namedia said that she had never seen the true terrors of a demon. The first wizard claimed that it was too late for such a summoning and that he was too exhausted from the trials. The second wizard asked for preparation time since this matter should not be taken lightly. The third wizard refused to summon a demon since he called it a crime against the twelve and he looked to Dexter Nemrode who nodded in confirmation.

<table style="width:auto;"><tbody><tr><td>https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-urmnZ-zFl1w/TxGkLlMwA1I/AAAAAAAAAQM/f2m9ELwjP0Q/s400/galotta.jpg (https://picasaweb.google.com/lh/photo/HxLxh7yWs7NbV97VlOX-YNMTjNZETYmyPJy0liipFm0?feat=embedwebsite)</td></tr><tr><td style="font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:11px; text-align:right">From Tournament of Gareth (https://picasaweb.google.com/113971247389847352428/TournamentOfGareth?authuser=0&feat=embedwebsite)</td></tr></tbody></table>
Then Galotta threw his head back and let his long curly hair fly while laughing out loud:
“My deity look at those pretenders that try to steal my honors. Let the orchestra play some music let those half naked Tulamid dancers perform for you while I here and now summon a horror from the seven hells."


“This has gone too far, Dexter Nemrod”, then yelled “Your imperial majesty, stop this madness now. I don't want to have a part in this insult to the gods.”
“Your DEITY”, Namedia corrected him. “Your God-Emperor should know better about the insults to gods than a mortal servant like you.” Hal only nodded.
“So be it. I am gone. Inquisitors with me the church has no part in this!” Nemrode cried and swiftly left the hall.


Galotta unimpressed by this scene had already drawn a 13 cornered star on the marble floor and started singing the summoning spell. Eye witnesses claim that every candle in the great hall danced in the rhythm of his godless tune. The orchestra players and dancer later reported that they kept on performing like in trance.


A black mist that consumed all light appeared in Galotta's pentagram. As the mist dissolved it revealed a 10 horned demon. Many ladies and noblemen fainted only because they looked at it.


But then the real tragedy took place. Some say it was due to the exhausting competition others reported that Galotta was blinded for a split second by a ray of light from Namedia's hand-mirror. Others again say that such a thing was impossible because the sun had not risen yet in order to cause such a reflection and that Galotta the showoff just tried to hard this time.
Whatever happened only the gods know. Fact is that when Galotta tried to bind the demon he failed. Suddenly all the candles in the hall went out. The room was only illuminated by the red fire of this hell-spawn when it grabbed one of the dancers and ripped her apart. Galotta realizing that he had failed yelled NO and as a claw of the demon grabbed him by the head his precious hair was devoured by flames. Like a lifeless puppet he was thrown against the stairs beneath the thrown.
Some noblemen grabbed swords from the wall or drew their own in order to kill the demon but most of them died in seconds.
The demon then closed in on the Emperor himself who had frozen in his throne, not moving a single muscle. As the burning terror extended his claw for the Emperor's head it was touched by a ray of light from above. The entire demon dissolved in a black mist and vanished. The first light of day shone through the windows behind the emperor's throne.


“All you mortals bow in-front of your God-Emperor, a true descendant of Praios himself. Like I had forsaken it in the stars he can not be touched by demons!” Namedia announced. From this day on the common people in Gareth truly believed in their God-Emperor who had kept them in peace and prosperity for the last decade.


When Galotta gained his consciousness. He was brought in front of the emperor in chains. Since his failed binding of a demon costed 20 people's life Namedia proposed to punish him like a wizard in the old days of the diamond sultanate with a “Scarlet Cap Dance”


So Galotta got to wear a metal hat filled with scarlet pitch and metal shoes filled with burning coal. Galotta had to dance in this outfit until it had cooled down.

In the end Galotta's bald head showed red marks from the pitch that would never go off again. Beaten like a dog he left the throne room. The next day servants found a goodbye letter in his laboratory in which Galotta claimed that he would take revenge on the house of Gareth for what it did to him.


After a long dispute Dexter Nemrode convinced the Emperor that making Galotta an enemy was a terrible mistake and so he formed a hunting party that followed Galotta's trail till here. Unfortunately the trail ran cold here since they had not yet figured out what ship he took... if he took a ship at all.


The last evidence of him coming this way was the corpse of his assistant. The old half-elf got a knife to his back while sleeping in a barn along the road. No signs of his four daughters were found. Dexter thought that a bald guy with red marks on his head, traveling with four Half-Elven young women would stick out more but unfortunately they did not.


Kurth joined the hunt for Galotta for 2 years until Nemrode sent his men away to continue the unsuccessfull hunt alone.


In the present year the heroes all meet up again at the annual tournament from the court of Gareth and hear rumors about an army of Ogres that burned down Yslisa at the Yslis' Sea that is close to the Shire of Wehrheim.


The court discusses if this all might be miss-information from Ravenmouth. Although he is under house arrest at his families' castle it is rumored that he is still well connected in his former shire. There is fear among the noblemen that the rumors about the ogre attack is just a trick to lure the emperor to Wehrheim. The arsenal and the academy there still holds the strongest standing army in the middle realm.
The fact that Ogres travel in multiple packs or even armies is unheard of in the middle of summer. Normally Ogres only unite for raiding parties in winter when supplies are scarce because of this the court looks for volunteers to investigate the matter.

Hal issues a command to raise a Garethian army. Consisting of common Garethians and tourney participants as their respective commanders. In addition to that Hal sends out messengers that mobilize the lords from the north since he wants the pass at the Troll's Saw fortified as soon as possible.
Shocking to the court is the following anouncement that Hal himself wants to lead the army despite of his council's fear that he runs straight into a trap from Ravenmouth.

On the way out Hal notices the heroes in the crowd and recognizes them as the ones who saved his son. He then begs them to find proof that there is a true Ogre Army and that it is not another scheme of Ravenmouth. He trusts them as not being corrupted since they were the reason in the first place for his exil.


Ruckus of Blackwater meets his old friends before they leave for their next adventure and asks the hero to tell his son that he is proud of him and that if it comes to a battle at the Troll's Saw he should not fight reckless like he did when he helped the heroes in their first adventure.



The heroes travel north to investigate. After crossing the Dergel on a small ferry they encounter more and more refugees on the road that tell rumors of Ogre raiding parties that erase entire villages over night without leaving any eye wittnesses.


The heroes travel further and come accross one of the raided villages. The tracks that the heroes find lead them to the northwest. In a small forest the heroes catch up with the raiding party and they discover that they are around 40 Ogres strong.

Kurth accidently makes too much noise in his plate armor while sneaking but on the other hand manages to hide himself fast enough. Unfortunately Dasquian and Glen fail their throws on melting with the shadows which turns them into prisoners of the Ogres. Fortunately on the other hand Dasquian is mistaken for a servant of the master because the Ogres think that he is a female halfelf. Glen on the other hand is stripped of his weapons and it is suggested that he might be eaten as a midnight snack.

<table style="width:auto;"><tbody><tr><td>https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-iBH9i-vM_xs/UE_M0Fr2k1I/AAAAAAAAAaA/gWxNN4WJu3w/s400/Ogre_Bagelak_by_PrincepsSenatus.jpg (https://picasaweb.google.com/lh/photo/q0fuWGpU6zOPUzFIKwEbpNMTjNZETYmyPJy0liipFm0?feat=e mbedwebsite)</td></tr><tr><td style="font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:11px; text-align:right">From Tournament of Gareth (https://picasaweb.google.com/113971247389847352428/TournamentOfGareth?authuser=0&feat=embedwebsite)</td></tr></tbody></table>

Dasquian then convinces the Ogres that Glen is a valuable prisoner and should be questioned by the master himself. The Ogres then grow more suspicious because the master is "the voice in the night sky" and does not have to be present for talking to the Ogres. Dasquian is able to convince the Ogres that questioning of Glen would work better at the main base of the Ogres. The Ogres agree but they want to bash in Glen's knees so that he can't run away while they travel.

At this moment the other party members start their intervention by setting the forest on fire in the middle of one of Aventurias hottest summers known to men.

The party manages to escape in this turmoil thanks to Kurth who convinced the Ogres that an entire army is about to attack them.

The next day the group splits up:
Glen and Kurth leave in the direction of Wehrheim in order to report the existence of the Ogre army to Emperor Hal and to get new weapons for Glen.
Rhone, Dasquian and Saidra keep on the tracks of the raiding party. They follow them further northwest into a valley in the mountains of the Black Sickel. They follow a pass to their right in order to scout out the valley from above.

In the valley they observe an army of more than one thousand Ogres sitting around on treelogs around campfires. Consuming the flesh of humans that they have recovered from the villages.

The heroes observe the arrival of two elfen women in black capes. Once the leader of the Ogre raiding party, that held Dasquian and Glen captive, reports to them, he gets his head chopped off in a single blow since he left survivers this time.

Another devastating discovery for the group is the fact that the Ogres are assembling a gigantic catapult that could destroy the walls of either Wehrheim or the fortifications at the Gate of the Troll's Saw in a few blows once it is on the road.

<table style="width:auto;"><tr><td><a href="https://picasaweb.google.com/lh/photo/HzBSOX3Gkf72Nz1fuk1BftMTjNZETYmyPJy0liipFm0?feat=e mbedwebsite"><img src="https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-FyrpAUPM5u8/UE_XzW-3K3I/AAAAAAAAAaQ/koSCUjUkKsw/s800/images-001.jpg" height="225" width="225" /></a></td></tr><tr><td style="font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:11px; text-align:right">From <a href="https://picasaweb.google.com/113971247389847352428/TournamentOfGareth?authuser=0&feat=embedwebsite">Tournament of Gareth</a></td></tr></table>

Rhone manages to spot the lynch pin that could destroy this thing with only a little fire but in order to reach this spot the heroes would have to sneak through a valley of drunk human eating Ogres.

[Makhaira]

By the gods. I miss one session and all hell breaks loose... O_O

[Captain Untouchable]

To be fair, the hell breaking loose was Gaius Baltar's fault, not ours.

Lousy demon-summoning wizard. :shakefist

[Crusader]

To be fair, the hell breaking loose was Gaius Baltar's fault, not ours.

Lousy demon-summoning wizard. :shakefist

No it was all your fault. If you had not stopped Ravenmouth's plot to become the emperor. Hal would have never become a god emperor and so this ridiculous tournament of the minds would have never happened!

[Dasquian Belargic]

Will we ever do anything right? :ohno

[Makhaira]

Nope.

Only thing we can do is survive and foil our beloved DM's plans for world domination and our grisly deaths.

[Crusader]

Hey Charley! Have you found and scanned all the character sheets yet?
Just a little reminder for everyone. Dark Banana happens tonight/this morning.

[Taataani Meorrrei]

I don't have my sheet...I don't think I do? I thought you got the sheets. Lemme look.

[Dasquian Belargic]

Peter left teh character sheets at your house :ohno

[Taataani Meorrrei]

Got em :) wasn't sure where they were

[Crusader]

Rhone 20Xp for figuring out the mechanics of the Ogre Spoon
10Xp for besting the Elf at tracking
10Xp for setting the woods on fire
Dasq 25Xp for fast talking the Ogres
Kurth 25Xp for the 13th Warrior moves
Saidra 5Xp for being a little Sissi
Glen 5Xp for making me laugh

[Dasquian the Elf]

Stealthy bitches :cool

[Saidra]

:dance yeaaaaaahhhhhhhh

[Dasquian the Elf]

where did all the candyfloss go

http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mae3udGQbW1rflkqjo1_500.jpg

[Kurth Halx]

I'm Kurth Halx, professional torturer :cool

[Dasquian the Elf]

...and this is your rectum?

[Makhaira]

AHA! I found my war horse!

<object width="560" height="315"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/d0HSqLIJztM?version=3&amp;hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/d0HSqLIJztM?version=3&amp;hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="560" height="315" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true"></embed></object>

[Crusader]

Xp for the last sitting

Dasquian 20Xp for Operation Ogre Spooning
Saidra 40Xp for Operation Ogre Spooning and her wild engeeniring skills!

Glen 30Xp because he likes Weapons

Glen, Makhaira and Kurth 35Xp for solving the Side Quest: "A Problem of Allegiance in Wehrheim"

Glen 10Xp for starting a fake exercise in Wehrheim in order to mobilize the army there quicker

[Crusader]

So Jenny and I found this awesome APP on the internet for google hangout that actually allows you to do dice rolls in google hangout and it features map tools for tabletops and a lot of other awesome stuff like dice roll apps.

GO to www.roll20.net and enjoy!

[Dasquian Belargic]

^ This is so cool, we have to use it in the next session, if only for the dice rolls.

I made macros :eee

[Dee]

How cool is that! *squee*

[Kurth Halx]

Part of me is super happy about that and part of me wants to keep using my nerdy pile of dice I just got. So conflicted!

[Emelie Shadowstar]

Hey guys just giving you a heads up that I can't so this upcoming weekend thanks to moving. If everyone wants to push it back a week that'd be awesome... If not, well just try to leave stone stuff for me to kill, ok? :)

[Crusader]

Sorry Sarah but the weekend after is not possible since Martina and me are at our second convention then for this year.

[Dasquian Belargic]

but who will I have dance party and candyfloss with :ohno

[Emelie Shadowstar]

:( Glen can step in?

I might be able to make it depending on how much we get done through the week and Saturday...but I'm not fully counting on it since we have to basically do a full move and be out of the current place by the 1st.

[Captain Untouchable]

If you can't make it, we'll pick you up a souvenir or something.

Does Saidra's collection of bodyparts include an amputated ogre penis yet?

:mischief

[Makhaira]

I'll take it upon myself to make Saidra some ogre-bone accessories. *nod*

[Dasquian the Elf]

Please, don't use the phrase 'ogre-bone' ever again.

*shudder*

[Makhaira]

*blinks*

For love of the Goddess, that's *not* what I meant.

*blech*

[Crusader]

Pun Jar!!!

[Makhaira]

*adds an appropriate contribution*

[Dasquian the Elf]

How many ogres are in their main force?

More than one thousand :ohno

[Glen Fiddich]

Meanwhile, her husband stands there scratching his ba...




...ld head. :mischief

[Dasquian the Elf]

Oh, there's the penis again :rolleyes

[Makhaira]

And the ogres are attracted to v-shaped openings.

[Dasquian the Elf]

Our benevolent (?) protector, the giant river-penis

[Makhaira]

The Ark of the Covenant is in Wales, and the sheep are nervous.

[Dasquian the Elf]

Tick tock goes the clock til ogres rape the Thorwalsh

[Glen Fiddich]

Mortally wounded LIKE A BOSS.

[Dasquian the Elf]

*revives Glen to full health*

http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m6jnatV5jW1rr7c36.gif

[Glen Fiddich]

*Glen rolls a 20*

<img src="http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mb15fkMz6T1rtz9jf.jpg" width="250">

[Dasquian the Elf]

http://i171.photobucket.com/albums/u312/QuinnySV/DoctorFacepalm.png

[Crusader]

4 Ogres dead just 996 to go... Just Kidding it is just more than 800 left

[Crusader]

<table style="width:auto;"><tr><td><a href="https://picasaweb.google.com/lh/photo/AGtq1mLP5jwJGram99-qL_w8dMY7fKUhCeb0-g4ExZ4?feat=embedwebsite"><img src="https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-XPcHVpLDXSM/UGh5WidfGUI/AAAAAAAAAao/4T3lE95Kkao/s640/Map.jpg" height="359" width="640" /></a></td></tr><tr><td style="font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:11px; text-align:right">From <a href="https://picasaweb.google.com/113971247389847352428/DropBox?authuser=0&feat=embedwebsite">Drop Box</a></td></tr></table>

[Dasquian Belargic]

We're playing this weekend right? :D

[Makhaira]

It's been 2 whole weeks since the last one, so I hope so! :eee

[John Glayde]

Are we gonna have a Saidra and a Rhone this time?

Whenever the dwarf isn't here, it ends up being Glen who nearly dies, and I don't like that. :ohno

[Emelie Shadowstar]

Fuck yes the local <strike>sadist</strike>...err...thief will be joining. :p

[Makhaira]

I got mauled by puppies this morning - which was roughly 763 kinds of awesome.

Unfortunately, I lost the entire day to said endeavor & spending time with my family (my little cousins, my aunt, and their new puppy - holyfucksodamncuteI'mstillbesidemyself).

I'll be online & at Banana, but I may be totally distracted as I try to finish up my schoolwork that's due by midnight. I had hoped to get more done today, except I've only been home for two freaking hours, and I left at 6:30 this morning. Then again...I spent it with Zoe (that's my 7 year old cousin Ari holding her) - she's an eight week old GoldenDoodle :)

http://i45.tinypic.com/11c8db6.jpg

[Dasquian the Elf]

Rise up from your thousand year-old sleep,
Break forth from your grave eternally
Weak will die and land will all be burned
River Penis king and death to worlds!

[Saidra]

:lol nice...

[Crusader]

<a href="https://picasaweb.google.com/lh/photo/ueTHTdR6v0KGQvAELDFBWPw8dMY7fKUhCeb0-g4ExZ4?feat=embedwebsite"><img src="https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/--P6AtBgZ5GE/UHr3F-trBcI/AAAAAAAAAbA/yq-sZJ5h0LY/s640/theFullParty.jpg" height="369" width="640" /></a>

[Saidra]

yayyy :3 look at us

[Makhaira]

Little pieces of Glen-meat - truly delicious, or not...you decide!

[Dasquian the Elf]

Horsie, away!

http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m8cxojKz601qjmdyqo4_250.gif

http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m8cxojKz601qjmdyqo6_250.gif

[Dasquian the Elf]

http://worldwide-web.com/JeffreyBabad/Simpsons/PattySelma/selmapatty.gif

[Crusader]

^^Glen's two axres!

[Kurth Halx]

Garethian readiness + 200

[Saidra]

Fast as the wind!

[Makhaira]

Or a light breeze...

[Saidra]

I don't always fall off my horse asleep...but when I do, I'm chasing down a one-eyed beggar. :whaa

[Dasquian the Elf]

Have you seen him? He has a baguette for an eye

[Makhaira]

And a suspicious berét...

[Dasquian the Elf]

critical faceplant

edit:

WE RIDE

(again and again and again)

[Saidra]

At least we're not lost.

[Dasquian the Elf]

never lost. we always arrive precisely where we mean to!

[Kurth Halx]

Defend the castle!

5 archers
3 spearmen
3 swordsmen

And Kurth Halx baby

[Crusader]

Notes for next level up:

-Riding is a usefull skill in Pen&Paper RPGs since no one has to deal with getting horse animations, horse combat systems and horse controls right like in a video game where mounted gameplay is always the first thing that gets cut from the feature list
-Tracking is a usefull skill in Pen&Paper RPGs since you can't switch on the Batman detective mode to highlight things but if you have a high skill level you can track nearly anything.
-Willpower is a usefull skill in Pen&Paper RPGs because most game masters (or this one in particular) are dicks that want you to fight sleep every few hours as if your character was watching a Twilight Marathon over and over again instead of being on the adventure of their life.

[Dasquian the Elf]

I would level up my willpower, but it doesn't feel like it would be in character of me to do so

:mischief

[Crusader]

This weekend Crusader Tours presents the beginning of the conclusion of the March of the 1000 Ogres.

Will Kurth and Makhaira be there for the Emperor in his finest hours at the Troll Gates?

Will all hope be lost when they hear the messengers shout: Ogres ante portas!?

Will the combined forces of Wehrheim and Gareth be enough to stop the army of ogres?

Will the rest of the party find the Master and his four half-elven servants in time or will he be able to launch the next step of his evil plan?

[Makhaira]

We shall bring glory to His Radiance, the Emperor, in this his direst hour!

[Glen Fiddich]

I've been having a pretty rough few days, so I may not be up to any realm-saving exploits later. Nothing major... just the usual stuff being even more of an obstacle than normal. :(

I'll be there if I can, but it's probably best to work on the assumption that I won't be.

[Crusader]

Hey we will be on a boat tonight ;) Maybe this will help!

[Makhaira]

In true Greek fashion, my family has absolutely no regard for my schedule. I'm being forced to do a family thing at 1 - I ought to be back and online @ 3:30, I hope.

[Kurth Halx]

Siege warfare scheming! GET IN!

[Emelie Shadowstar]

I have been reduced to saltine crackers and water and wanting to die... hence my not being around today/tonight :|

[Dasquian Belargic]

Every single riding throw
http://www.theargonath.cc/characters/legolas/animations/legolasttt32.gif

n/m the horses

http://www.theargonath.cc/characters/legolas/animations/legolasttt1.gif

Come, Rhone! We are gaining on them!

[Dasquian the Elf]

Rhone Twinklenose!

[Dasquian the Elf]

Now? We <strike>ride</strike> row!

[Kurth Halx]

Look at my muscles! I am strong!

[Kurth Halx]

Brothers. Sisters. Soldiers.

Embrace these words. Whatever you were before these dark days, this is what will define you. We've trained hard under the short time given to arrive at this battle. And this is a battle we must fight here, and fight now.

Our lines will hold. Our blades will stay sharp. Our shields unbroken. Our arrows will fly true. They do these things not because an Emperor commands it. They do these things not because Praios demands divine justice. They do these things because they must.

We fight or we die. If we waver, we will be cut down. If we flee, know that an Ogre's stride is longer still than yours. So we fight. Fight hard and with ferocity that will dwarf the stature of your enemy. Make the Ogrish horde fear the death you will give to them, because I guarantee you that if the barbarians stare upon Boron's face, they will be the first to blink. They will suddenly remember their homeland, however cold-blasted and desolate it may be. They will remember they don't have to die, ground to the dust in the jaws of war.

So Soldiers, we fight or we die. The Ogres have other options. Show them the horrors of war and they will turn north like scalded dogs, and your faces will fill their nightmares.

[Dasquian Belargic]

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[Kurth Halx]

Like Leonidas at Thermopylae :cool

[Kurth Halx]

It was awesome seeing Peter go from "Are you *sure* you want to put your troops there? That's not what I would've done." to "Wow, that is really good placement after all."

Validates all my small unit tactics self worth :)

[Makhaira]

I wish I hadn't missed it :( :( :(

[Charley]

You'd better be at the next session because I have a feeling I may need a hero in the cavalry!

[Makhaira]

I'll gladly ride to your rescue :D

[Dasquian Belargic]

I think we're definitely gonna need all the (wo)man-power we can get!

[Pierce Tondry]

We are Banana-ing this weekend, right? People should be there because we have had too many vacancies recently!

[Dasquian Belargic]

Yes, it is indeed a banana weekend

[Crusader]

And it will be the very last sitting of More than a thousand Ogres!

[Sanis Prent]

I am kind of pumped about it

[Crusader]

Me too! The Ogre Spoon (catapult) still has to make it's first shot...

[Captain Untouchable]

I'll try... but my housemate has people staying over yet again, which is pretty stressful for me with the way my health and brain is at the moment. Assuming that I haven't had a breakdown and can manage to get enough peace, quiet, and bandwidth to spend an afternoon online, I will endeavour to be there.

[Dasquian Belargic]

For some reason I keep misreading this thread title as MORE THAN 1000 ORCAS

[Crusader]

<table style="width:auto;"><tr><td><a href="https://picasaweb.google.com/lh/photo/P0jdd7CFzqgS8BCWrS3b8I2mdyyDyl5od26qv5KJAQg?feat=e mbedwebsite"><img src="https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-S6cn6GdmYns/UJ2bECGa2KI/AAAAAAAAAbU/trvw6KTiP54/s640/Inn.jpg" height="366" width="640" /></a></td></tr><tr><td style="font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:11px; text-align:right">From <a href="https://picasaweb.google.com/113971247389847352428/QuestRelatedPictures?authuser=0&feat=embedwebsite">Quest related pictures</a></td></tr></table>

[Crusader]

Orca after party!

[Captain Untouchable]

In preparation for tomorrow, could I get a quick run down of everything that happened following the battle at the ferry house?

[Emelie Shadowstar]

I.... can't make it... again. :|

*hides*

[Dasquian Belargic]

My partner in crime :cry

[Makhaira]

Release The Flaming Sheep!

[Makhaira]

http://i50.tinypic.com/2qd4rki.jpg

[Dasquian the Elf]

I love the smell of flaming sheep in the morning.

[Makhaira]

"Just lick it and stick it!" - Kurth, on the proper use of oreos

[Dasquian the Elf]

Rhone rescues a hostage whilst demonstrating some traditional Dwarven dancing

EDIT:

who got the strength of a thousand ogres

who heals all the damsels in distress

http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m8la3eXvIq1r9cdhd.gif

[Makhaira]

"Rhone Banhammer attempts to Wile E Coyote everyone out of this shit"

[Makhaira]

WHY CAN I NOT ROLL?! WHY?!

*shakes a fist unto the heavens*

[Dasquian the Elf]

http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m85msv8Amh1r6tk2go1_400.gif

[Kurth Halx]

Um, that's Baron Halx, motherfucker.

[Dasquian the Elf]

if you havin ogre problems I feel bad for you son, I got 99 problems but 1000 ogres ain't one :smug:

[Crusader]

XP listing:

Base Xp for surviving the march of "More than a 1000 Ogres"... drum roll ... 2000Xp for everyone.

200Xp for the members of the "Commando Group" for taking out Galotta without firing a single shot(in combat): Pacifist Achievement Unlocked
(Killed a shrouded Master with an Enviromental Hazard Achievement also unlocked by the way)

50Xp for Glen and Dasq for the battle of the ferry house

Only 50Xp for Rhone, Saidra and Dasq for their attempt to chase people

50Xp for Glen, Rhone and Dasquian for saving the maiden

100Xp Makhaira for training Kurth's troops to expert level

50Xp for Makhaira for joining the Imperial Cavalary

1Xp for her performance at the charge

50Xp for Kurth because he got his troops in line

50Xp for Kurth for defusing the situation at the pitch factory

100Xp for Kurth for not letting a single soldier die

20Xp for Kurth for saving Emperor Hal from the Ogre Chieftain

50Xp for Kurth for convincing Torasin not to leave his soldiers.

I will post the perk list this week on the hall of heroes page when I find the time.

BTW the campaign for next year has arrived... I put "the Dust and the Stars" next to it for size comparison.

<table style="width:auto;"><tr><td><a href="https://picasaweb.google.com/lh/photo/PmudIfv1gds9IQKR5eTWTY2mdyyDyl5od26qv5KJAQg?feat=e mbedwebsite"><img src="https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-X-fO-B_rtbc/UKp3YblAOpI/AAAAAAAAAbk/qjh32uIcFZg/s640/2012-11-19%252019.13.50.jpg" height="480" width="640" /></a></td></tr><tr><td style="font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:11px; text-align:right">From <a href="https://picasaweb.google.com/113971247389847352428/QuestRelatedPictures?authuser=0&feat=embedwebsite">Quest related pictures</a></td></tr></table>

[Dasquian Belargic]

Holy moly, that is indeed a saga!

[Crusader]

Rhone 20Xp for figuring out the mechanics of the Ogre Spoon
10Xp for besting the Elf at tracking
10Xp for setting the woods on fire
Dasq 25Xp for fast talking the Ogres
Kurth 25Xp for the 13th Warrior moves
Saidra 5Xp for being a little Sissi
Glen 5Xp for making me laugh

Xp for the last sitting

Dasquian 20Xp for Operation Ogre Spooning
Saidra 40Xp for Operation Ogre Spooning and her wild engeeniring skills!

Glen 30Xp because he likes Weapons

Glen, Makhaira and Kurth 35Xp for solving the Side Quest: "A Problem of Allegiance in Wehrheim"

Glen 10Xp for starting a fake exercise in Wehrheim in order to mobilize the army there quicker

Don't forget this XP as well

[Glen Fiddich]

Since making spreadsheets to pull information out of tables and what-not used to be part of my job, I've built a little tool in Excel to calculate skill points. You can get it by going here (https://docs.google.com/open?id=0B_Rr_ADREkdgQVVNVnczV0V0Y1E) and hitting CTRL+S (or going File > Download).

To use it, type in the letter for the skill you want to level; the current number of skill points you have; and the number of skill points you want to end up with. For example, I want to level up Glen's Sneak skill. Sneak is a Physical Talent (D), and he currently has 4 points. I want to increase it to 8, so those are the values I pick in the spreadsheet. The spreadsheet tells me this will cost 121 XP.

Using Peter's table, I can see that it will cost 22 points to increase to 5; another 27 (49) to reach 6; another 33 (82) to reach 7; and a final 39 (121) to reach 8.

I would have done fancy drop down boxes and things, but I don't know what version of Excel/OpenOffice people are using. If everyone is capable of opening .xlsx files (Excel 2007 or newer), then I can pimp the file out a bit more.


PS.
If the skill isn't on your character sheet yet (Ride, anyone? :uhoh), then you need to put "X" as your current level. This will add in the activation cost as well. :)

[Crusader]

The Special Perk List is done:
https://docs.google.com/open?id=0B2NNxQmzVQEjZ3dzUWZtQjJhUFk

[Pierce Tondry]

Tallying that up, I have 2340 xp to spend. Can you double check my math on that Peter?

Also, Jace, I can definitely handle xlsx files, so feel free to spiffy up the spreadsheet as you like. I can't access the one you've got, though, since it seems to be stored on Google Docs and I don't have access. Can you fix that?

One last thing: did we ever figure out if there was a fillable PDF of the character sheet somewhere we could use to redo our characters?

[Makhaira]

Not that I've been able to find. But I can certainly still create an Excel version of the spreadsheet to make things pretty. (was supposed to have done that ages ago but never got around to it because of school)

[Captain Untouchable]

Also, Jace, I can definitely handle xlsx files, so feel free to spiffy up the spreadsheet as you like. I can't access the one you've got, though, since it seems to be stored on Google Docs and I don't have access. Can you fix that?

Hmm. GoogleDocs seems to have forgotten my preferences, and is setting things as private by default. The file should now be public, and accessible to all - let me know if it works.

If Peter could remind me of what attributes/etc affect what stuff (ie. which attributes increase your vitality, endurance, etc), I might be able to do something fancy with Excel that'll calculate all of the doodads and doohickies for you. I used to do that sort of thing for my players all the time when I ran D&D campaigns, but I'm not so intimately familiar with the DSA rules (yet).

[Carré Inirial]

Now that would be delightfully awesome. Plug in a number in one spot and it calculates everything for you. *nod nod*

[Pierce Tondry]

Tallying that up, I have 2340 xp to spend. Can you double check my math on that Peter?

Also, Jace, I can definitely handle xlsx files, so feel free to spiffy up the spreadsheet as you like. I can't access the one you've got, though, since it seems to be stored on Google Docs and I don't have access. Can you fix that?

One last thing: did we ever figure out if there was a fillable PDF of the character sheet somewhere we could use to redo our characters?

Good news! I found a PDF of the character sheet and converted it into a fillable form version. I'm still working on adding some things missed by the conversion process, but when I'm done I'll have a version of the sheet I can just type things into and save repeatedly to make updating easier.

[Crusader]

I think that Xp sounds about right and that is awesome news Brian.

[Makhaira]

Awesome! :D

I will have to fuss with my character sheet and see what skills I can pick up or upgrade further. Once I add up what I've earned.

*mutters about useless die rolls*

[Crusader]

oes anyone still have questions for leveling up their characters? How many are already done and who will be game for this sunday? I am mostly done with preparing at least the next two sessions :)


BTW Brian have you uploaded this Character Sheet somewhere?

[Pierce Tondry]

No, not yet. The silly thing about the conversion to fillable sheet is that it needed a ton of extra text fields added to it even after the conversion took place. I am still adding those in.

I have a lot of work to do this week and will probably work late at least once or twice. Given that, I may not finish touching up the sheet before Sunday. I'll try but don't expect it to be ready.

I also need to remember I had a few points left from last time. I think 5 or so. I'll double check, if I can figure out how. And, I need to remember I can get a level of riding easier.

[Captain Untouchable]

Need some help with that, Brian? I have neither a lot of work to do nor a life to get in the way of such things, so I might be able to get it tweaked sooner.

[Makhaira]

I'll be here, but I'll be a little late. Church, choir practice, and then trying to avoid getting roped into a meeting of the parish council - which is going to be hard considering I attend the church I now work at. All in all, I should be back & online by 2 at the latest, I think. I'll text someone if I'm going to be any later :)

[Captain Untouchable]

How much later is that than normal? Me no comprende time zones. :uhoh

[Emelie Shadowstar]

So...I've lost my voice so... Sunday could be interesting :uhoh

[Dee]

We normally all log in at noon, my time, so about two hours. Less if I can manage it.

*hugs for Sara* oodles of tea and honey with an 'accidental' splash or three if whiskey *nod*

[Pierce Tondry]

Need some help with that, Brian? I have neither a lot of work to do nor a life to get in the way of such things, so I might be able to get it tweaked sooner.

I wouldn't mind a hand, although I have to recover the file now. I just finished building a new PC and need to figure out a setup to pull files between old PC and new. Not sure that will be done by Sunday.

[Captain Untouchable]

Well, since you were talking about docking an SSD in the bay on Twitter yesterday... I'm sure it'd take no time at all if you had a quick word with the crew and asked them to help out.

Though, hopefully you're running on Windows as your operating system. A Stormtrooper search isn't all that reliable when you're dealing with 'droid.

(It actually took me a few minutes to realise you were talking about a solid state drive yesterday. ^_^;)