Luther Prower

[Luther Prower]

Name:Luther Prower



Age:23 Human Years Young

Height:5'10

Weight:190lbs

Race:Human

Appearance:Clean shaved one of your better looking humans, but that's

only if you can get under all the Murkadian armor and the hood he wears to

conceal his identity.


Personality:Charming, but when it comes to business a lethal weapon.




Biography:Luther Prower was from a planet called Murkadia. At the age of 8

years old the planet he called home was raided by thousands of masked

men which he knows nothing about except that one reffered to their leader

as the Masked Dragon. During the raid Luthers family was killed leaving him

an orphan with nothing except for his fathers armor. For the next five years

he managed to survive by natural resources and keeping to the shadows in

stealth. At age 13 a cargo ship emergency landed just a few hundred feet

from his shelter. Luther could either stay stuck on this God forsaken Planet

or sneak into the cargo bay which he did. Once the ship landed in the port

he bolted into the new found world which was called the New Orbit. After

roaming around for a few hours a man by the name of Drake Meridian found

him pillaging through his house and found out Luthers story. After finding

that Luther was seeking revenge on these mysterious masked creatures he

decided to start training him, as fate would have it Drake was a contract

mercenary. At the age of 17 Luther took on his first contract and pulled it

with ease. Within his first year of work his reputation grew immensely and

he quickly became the go to merc. One week after turning 21 Drake died

due to an unquenchable thirst of alcohol. After completing a few more

contracts Luther found it hard to enjoy his work without Drake being around

and decided he wanted to fight for a bigger cause than just money, and

since he had to put up with Empire scum his whole life what better than to

become a recruit in the Rebel Alliance.


Goal:To find the bastards that left him an orphan and get some blood on his

hands in the mean time.


Motto:If I can't do then don't even try.

[Cirrsseeto Quez]

Alright I'm gonna work with you a little to give some constructive advice and see how to get you worked into some roleplays :)

For one, it's not necessary to double space rule your formatting. I'd suggest regular paragraph breaks to let the eye follow action but you're actually doing a lot more work than you have to.

Now, for your bio: I want to know how you go from the Masked Dragon to the Empire as your enemy. Is there a link between them? It seems jarring that you'd spend your whole time preparing to fight the masked dragon and then fight the Empire at the last moment.

Something else, I'd like to see some imperfections in your character. Some kind of limitations in either what he can do or how he acts. One thing that makes characters endearing are that they can be related to and that they have weaknesses. Look at some of the posts in the forum for examples of this, because almost every character incorporates some kind of failing into their background. I'll use myself as an example. Cirrsseeto is an extremely talented mechanic and is physically strong and more than capable of fighting, but he's not suited to the task of leading and making hard decisions, and he's inwardly terrified of being asked to take that kind of responsibility, so sometimes he makes very bad decisions that cost his friends. That kind of failing makes a character relatable and I'd love to see Luther have something that makes him stumble and fall, so he can try and get over it.

Character quirks are awesome. Try some out. I want to know about this Luther guy. Not just what he's awesome at, but tell me what he does that's off the cuff? Google what a Mary Sue is. Avoid writing in that style. Super-powerful people with no faults are not that interesting to read or interact with. Making imperfect folks that fail and sometimes have to lean on others, that is extremely fun to write.

I am looking forward to working with you. Hopefully these recommendations help.

[Luther Prower]

Ok how about instead of saying that Drake died from alcohol. That a contract Luther failed to complete came back for revenge and killed Drake while and injuring Luther severely, and the man that did it was from the Empire?

[Cirrsseeto Quez]

That's better yeah. Something that gets him personally on the hook for fighting the Empire and taking up the Rebel cause. Maybe the Masked Man has Imperial dealings or maybe he doesn't, but as long as there's something inside your guy that's driving him to fight the Empire, it makes sense for him to cast his lot with the alliance.

Have you thought about what maybe works against Luther as far as weaknesses? Something he has to face and overcome or at least try to overcome? Remember that if he's fighting the Empire, he's fighting a huge amount of people, and he's going to need the help of other people, and maybe that means he has to admit that he needs help sometimes?

[Halajiin Rabeak]

While that does open more doors to character development and introspection, it's not really a defining characteristic, per se.

I agree with Cirr in that a character's foibles are actually more interesting than his skills, because they are what allow the reader to see the depth of the character and get to understand how they overcome - or fall victim to - challenges. As it stands, you've listed a lot of positives, but no real relatable negatives. Just try and think about what kind of man Luther really is, and see if you can develop some things he's not good at, or is actually afraid of, as well, as those are what really drive a character.

[Luther Prower]

What about something like the fear of flying which makes him loose focus, and that he has a "Go in Guns Blazing type attitude that often gets him in trouble."

[Luther Prower]

Yeah and I also like the he needs help idea

[Cirrsseeto Quez]

Fear of flying isn't bad. It makes sense since Luther hasn't really travelled much from what it seems. Now, let's see what else we can do too.

He's focused on avenging his father, obviously. Has he taken a moment to think about what happens after that's done? What becomes of him? If his purpose is built up to killing this one man, then it would be interesting to see him come to grips with the idea of what his place in the galaxy is after that's done. Is he worried about failing? What does that say of him to his father, in his mind's eye?

A revenge story is a great archetypal platform and you've got a good foundation. Fall back on that, and make sure to take care to see exactly what Luther saw that day, and what he's seen since. People who dedicate their lives to revenge are sad casualties sometimes. Figuring out where he may have lost his humanity along the way would be kind of sad, and also make the reader think about whether his cause is just.

[Luther Prower]

I was thinking maybe he would stay with the alliance after he avenges his father since he would have most likely already built up a relationship with them by then. I will try to come out with an out line for that whole story, but first I want to try a few other stories first to get the hang of this whole thing, and thanks for showing interest and giving me criticism.

[Cirrsseeto Quez]

Alright, how would you like to get started? We could link up to get you started with the Alliance.

[Luther Prower]

Well where would I go to get started with the alliance. Where would you like to do the post at?

[Karl Valten]

Fear of flying can definitely be decent as a start and lead to other quirks, but digging deeper and exploring the character helps a lot too.

Granted sometimes you just have to write to flesh it out. Weirdly enough you'll find that the characters just write themselves and you don't feel like you have much control over them. You may want them to do 'X', but you know the character's quirks and personality just wouldn't allow them to take that action. Kinda cool, actually.

If you want a different example, how about one of my characters.

Naomi Lang (granted I've had a few years to write her story). She was a student at Tarkin University on Imperial Center, Bio-Chemistry and Bio-Electronics. She ended up getting into a heap of trouble and was tried for felony charges in court. Rather than rot in prison for a while, she opted to serve her sentence by joining the Imperial Army as a conscript.

Needless to say being a woman in the Army was damn tough and she had to watch her back. Even had a few rape-attempts on her by fellow soldiers during training. Of which she fought back of course and ended up seriously injuring a few of the other trainees. The experiences really mucked up her head, cause her to be overly paranoid, and she is constantly throwing up a mask to hide her actual personality. A defense mechanism that has cause her to develop some psychological ticks and a very sarcastic/sardonic mask she throws on.

Her background from Tarkin University made her very useful as a demolitions specialist (building/designing bombs, arming, disarming, also decent with computers and other machines as a result of it). Despite the hellish start she had, Naomi and her training platoon got to know each other well and she really started believing strongly in the ideals of the Empire despite being rather apathetic during her university days.

Eventually during a live-fire training mission off-planet, the platoon actually stumbled on a pirate nest/base and were almost wiped out to a man. Naomi and a few other trainees managed to fight and survive long enough until the Imperial Army managed to respond with actual trained and experience troops.

An Inquisitor somehow was tagging along with the ship that showed up (they often hitch rides on Imperial Navy vessels) and was impressed enough with Naomi and a few the others that made it to scout them out for the enlisted forces arm of the Inquisitoriate.

Naomi took the offer as her crimes were completely pardoned and her record wiped clean. Literally wiped clean. Naomi is listed as having died in that training fiasco and all of her documents and even any news articles, court records, army records, everything....was doctored to support that claim or completely destroyed.

Naomi served as an enlisted soldier and demo specialist for the Inquisitoriate and managed to snag the rank of 2nd Lieutenant after a few years.

About a year before the Battle of Endor, she was recruited into Project Nightmare Inquisitor Karl Valten for an experimental program to research direct human-machine interfacing via a subject's nervous system.

She and six others volunteered and under-went very extensive bio-engineering and physical/mental augmentation to be able to plug their nervous systems directly in machines and computers, esentially being able to control them by thought using a neural implant installed in the brain-stem.

Other perks included faster reflexes, enhanced musculature structure, denser bones, a much greater ability to focus and filter physical processes. The six (all of which were player-characters here on the forums) 'Nightmares' as they became to be called really can't be considered human anymore for all intents and purposes.

Though on the down-side it was a fairly invasive and traumatic experience that did leave the subject's mental and psychological stability very questionable (Victor Crestmere is scizophrenic, Naomi's paranoia and somewhat dual personality kinda exploded, Y'roth Helghast is nearly an emotionless automaton, Dani Reyok is sadistic and twisted to the point that she disgusts some of the other Nightmares with her actions, etc).


....yadda yadda yadda, I could go on up to the present timeline (about another 5 years worth of in-character time), but this kinda gives you another idea of how to round out and devolp characters.

[Luther Prower]

Ok yeah forsure thanks a lot