Chapter 3: THE DUST AND THE STARS

[Crusader]

THE DUST AND THE STARS by Thomas Römer
adapted by Crusader for the Dark Banana

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The Dark Banana

Chapter 3: The Dust and The Stars


After spending the days of the NAMELESS inside the Palace Walls our group of heroes decides to travel to the city of Khunchom that is the birthplace of their "narcotic" Wizard because the Court Wizard Galotta thinks that only in this city they will be able to find a cure for the poor magicans curse.

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So after saying goodbye to Cuanu Ui Bennain, his daughter and Rukus of Blackwater they are summoned by Prince Brin for a parting gift for their voyage. They all receive a letter signed by the prince that entitles them to get a free sleeping place at every Inn along the Emperor's road that is owned by the realm.

Therefore well prepared they leave Gareth through the eastern gate to start yet another adventure. Their first noteworthy stop will lead the to Perricum, Middle Realm's biggest naval harbor in the east.

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From there on they will take the waterway to Khunchom which is an important trading route but that does not mean that it is not dangerous since pirates from Maraskan always look for easy prey.

Eventually they will arrive in Khunchom:

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Khunchom is a melting pot of cultures and has got a rich history. It has changed the colors it rides for more than once in its history and harbors many Aventurian culures: The predominant Tulamids, the nomadic Novadis, northerners from the Middle Realm and Horasia. It even features an enclave of refugees from Maraskan:

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The whole city is in high spirits right at this time of the year although there is a war going on in the desert of Khom between the Novadi Caliphate and the City of Al'Anfa. Everyone is looking forward to the annual juggler summit that will take place at the cities's marketplace.

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We will see in what kind of troubles our heroes will end up on this party!

[Crusader]

Tim John Jill's real name is El'Achim

[MARCUS]

I was thinking Elohim so yeaaaah....different meanings!

[Saidra]

>_> fuckers... trying to sell me.

Gonna make you all regret this.

[Pierce Tondry]

Saidra v 2.0 has a huge case of cameltoe.

Also, sleep-Tourette's is a terrible illness affecting exactly 10 people each year.

[Kurth Halx]

Queer heathen magics KEEP MY EYES SHUT SHUUUUUUT

[Kurth Halx]

oh god magics oh heathen damnation defying praios in every form ohhhhhhhh ;________; I AM FREAKING OUT

[Kurth Halx]

;____________________________________;

[El'Achim]

I'm being left! Gee, thanks guys. Now I'm gonna hafta marry jailbait?!

[Kurth Halx]

Aaaaaare you gonna take me home tonight
Dooooooown beside your red firelight
Oooooooohhhh and you give it all you got
Fat bottomed princesses you make the middle realm go round!

[El'Achim]

Chubby Jailbait?!

[Dasquian the Elf]

Dat Royal Ass

[Saidra]

Be nice to her >: You jerk.

[El'Achim]

No No No No No Gotta Get Out Gotta Get Right Outta Heere

[Dasquian the Elf]

http://www.tomscott.com/everydayim/#marrying tim

[Kurth Halx]

roll for rolls

jelly rolls

seriously go find the falafel in her pita

[Dasquian the Elf]

hookers smoking hookahs

[Kurth Halx]

...

Guys

If My Feet Come Off

You Should Tell Me

Am I Still Breathing?

[Kurth Halx]

Um

GUYS

THESE LEAVES

WE NEED TO BUY THEM

SELL THE HORATIAN

FORGET THE CAMELS

[Kurth Halx]

ride the waves in
beat that fanny its got a lot of shock to absorb
sneaking in her jelly rolls
roll her in flour
magic missile the wet spot
(__)__)
princess jasmine never found a kibbeh she didn't like

[Saidra]

Following the directions of a desperate Wizard... our elf is dressed a woman and our warrior is high as a kite.

How could this possibly go wrong?

[Crusader]

Two Words:

A Lot!

[El'Achim]

;)

And sorry about cutting short there guys. :\

In the meantime, El'Achim be makin' your adventures EPIC

[Glen Fiddich]

Sorry about my absense, fellow adventurers.

It would seem that I was so overcome with excitement about the prospect of being on a boat that I needed to have a long lie down.

[Crusader]

I am looking forward to our next session tomorrow night. I translated around 5 pages for the Dust and the Stars while watching Martina chopping people into halfs with her Shinai.
I hope that El'Achim's bachelor party at the summit will be a huge success. ;)

[Crusader]

<table style="width:auto;"><tbody><tr><td>https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-MTKFpEtJYIU/T5Q5BnVNotI/AAAAAAAAAYE/9S2V6EC_fiI/s640/InrahTree.jpg (https://picasaweb.google.com/lh/photo/g7AQqdP0cVOt4VieWOKX2rnqKuaZzkdYEysHFOKbhPM?feat=e mbedwebsite)</td></tr><tr><td style="font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:11px; text-align:right">From THE DUST AND THE STARS (https://picasaweb.google.com/113971247389847352428/THEDUSTANDTHESTARS?authuser=0&authkey=Gv1sRgCLzT9dXuxJGItwE&feat=embedwebsite)</td></tr></tbody></table>

[Kurth Halx]

I can't be held responsible for any of this shit. All y'all are going for a ride on Boron's wagon.

[Dasquian the Elf]

Eugh. Smells like incest in here.

[Kurth Halx]

That fortune is bullshit because it doesn't say anything about selling princesses and horatians into slavery for camels.

We will have a camel empire soon.

[Dasquian the Elf]

Can you make jerky from camel meat?

[Kurth Halx]

Well you can't make it from horatians so, GOOD TRADE

[Dasquian the Elf]

*strikes gavel*

SOLD

[Kurth Halx]

Suck my beard! There's sacred mead within!

[Saidra]

This mean I don't have to come back next time?

awesome. :|

[Crusader]

No Sarah come back we need you!

You can't let the wizzard be the worst person of them all!

[Dasquian the Elf]

Truly... no amount of camels can replace you, Saidra




Not unless we can train the camels to wrestle and flirt

[Kurth Halx]

yeah without your moral guidance we've sold one bride into slavery and we're plotting a second.

YOU ARE NOT THE WORST

[El'Achim]

Does this help me avoid marriage with a "girl who's had her first blood"? No? I don't care.

[Dasquian Belargic]

Forthcoming Banana Days:

May 6th
May 20th
June 3rd on which I will be in Germany with our smiling gamemaster

[Captain Untouchable]

I am moving on the 13th - may not have interwebs by the 20th. We shall see. :ohno

[Crusader]

Part 2:
Like being Haunted by Demons
It is nearly the end of the night and you are still sitting on logs around the campfire with the people you ran into on the boskers summit. Partying hard and enjoying the last days of fall.

There is obviously a turmoil at the Anchorpal Gate. The guards are stand around a wagon while doing wild gestures. You hear voices say: "The da Merinals, finally!"
Shira Red Curls jumps off from the log at your campfire. "My Finace has arrived you have to meet him! But why is there just one Wagon? And what is this turmoil all about?"

Then the checkered wagon closes in on the Fetherdin Square. From a distance you can tell that the horses are completly exhausted and the wagon looks pretty battered.

Suddenly from the inside of the box shaped wagon you hear a long scream.
The horses try to run riot but eventually collapse in their gear. An old and a young man sit on the coach box. As the wagon comes to a stop it is already surrounded by a bunch of half naked boskers.

Everyone is talking excitedly at the same time.

There from the inside... another cry: long, animalic like a wounded animal that is in panic. Suddenly the cry dies down.

Then silence.

The boskers step back from the wagon. They are holding on to amulets and symbols of faith but no one dares to speak... not even for a prayer.

A crimson sun rises in the east and colors the ocean red like blood.

From the guild and town hall towers twelve strikes on a gong are heard:
The day of the dead has begun

[John Glayde]

^ Dude. Why are you not writing this kind of stuff in roleplays, huh? :colbert

[Crusader]

I am looking forward to tonight's madness. Who is the Archdemon?

[Dasquian the Elf]

It's not me





OR IS IT

[Kurth Halx]

One of you heathens

[Dasquian the Elf]

The Archdemon is Banhammers penis

[Kurth Halx]

I've uh, got something for this.

I'm gonna paint your wagon...with...your blood

COME AT ME BRO

[Kurth Halx]

Ula von Griswold's Stagecoach Vacation

[Kurth Halx]

Attributes I have:

Healing soul (INT+CHA+CHA)

[Crusader]

you have a value of 3 in it.

[Dasquian the Elf]

D: My Eyes

[Kurth Halx]

Look, all I did was step away from HER FACE

You all would literally shit if you tried. LITERALLY

[Kurth Halx]

;_______;

we are so courageous

[Dasquian the Elf]

crapped my leather pants

[Dasquian the Elf]

Horseface Tentaclerapist

[Kurth Halx]

Horatian Bitch Empress

[Saidra]

<3 My ancestor.

[Dasquian the Elf]

Kahlua demon!

[Kurth Halx]

Oh yes, the "demon" threat

[Kurth Halx]

Prepare for Kurth of Enrampagement

[Saidra]

:smokin Saidra Palpatine I like the sound of that.

[Pierce Tondry]

Doomwagon^TM
Udo of Grisholm
Folks dun went through the desert.
Stay away from Sultan Evilcreep.
Wagon dun broked.
Udo left to get waters for drinkery.
At sundown dead people woke up.
Panicked horsies but the broke wagon didn't go anywhere.
The non-broke wagon got out.
The broke wagon got eaten.
BRUTE FORCE TYPING!!!
There were cliffs. And Mel Gibson.
"Bonding" with demons.
Roll on forklore.
DNN - Demon News Network
Going outside is too adventurous! I'm staying in my cave!
"So you're preying on the weak and stupid," said the thieving wench.

[Pierce Tondry]

So a builder demon is involved and may have kidnapped or killed some of the traveling carnies.

Udon Noodles appears to be a thug, scout, or servant of an exiled wizard.

The exiled wizard was the second in command at the Wizard Academy. His philosophy was based on demon-summoning and evil black-robe cultist jerks. He travels with lizard god worshipping crazy folks and a dwarf with a beard that is inferior to Banhammer's.

Our evil wizard seems to be studying ley lines throughout the continent and has a fortress built on or near a potential nexus of power. The alignment of the stars may be a second source of power and between that and the ley nexus summoning an archdemon. The evil wizard is operating near the evil sultan's territory and the two may be at odds.

Our group is prepared for travel, climbing, and weather of deserts or a high-altitude mesa. We have riding and pack animals, jerky, water, beer, and tiny fezzes. We'll be starting out with all our company next session.

We are now on day 2 of 13 before the stars align. The alignment occurs over the course of a week.

[Kurth Halx]

13 days until demonpocalypse

[Saidra]

7 days of shittacular doom.

We cannot get stuck in that! >:

[Crusader]

15Xp for Kurth for starting poor Hama's therapy. She is actually able to control parts of her face again thanks to his professional help
+ he faced the horrors of the necronomicon and aced the conversation with Specularity Khadil Okharim at the Dragon Egg Acadeny
10Xp for Banhammer for seeing the connections in Liscom's plot
20Xp for Saidra for being on a dialog rampage on the second day
10Xp for O-Mei(Dee) because she totaly knows how to prepare for a voyage

[Kurth Halx]

Kurth Howser MD

[Saidra]

Dude... the dice are fucking mean :|

[Saidra]

>D Explodey!!!!!

[Crusader]

weapon: Spear
Type/aEC: Spear/-3
DC: S
HP: 1D6+5
HP/ST: 12/4
INI: -1
WM: 0/-2
AV: look at your character sheet
PV: look at your character sheet
HP: depends on your ST

[Charley]

I killed three hyenas but now have battle fever. Still a badass.

[Crusader]

Xp for the last sitting:
Rhone 30XP for being a care bear and a good Nancy Drew
Kurth 20Xp for bringing the dead back to life and for treating wounds
Dasquian 20Xp for diving and using precious XP on his friends
Saidra gets 0Xp for lieing on her back all the time (no legs spread)

[Dasquian the Elf]

Got to say, this weekends session was one of the most fun and productive we've had in a while! Even if we did nearly wipe.

PS: Peter would you send me the stats for my new spear so I can computerize my character sheet!

[Crusader]

Tonight I will find out if my team is going to fight for the Euro Cup yet again against Spain on Sunday or if the cursed Italien football team will end my high hopes for a title yet again.

Depending on the outcome I would love to move our roleplay session to saturday or if they lose we could play on both days so that we could get father's day back.

[Crusader]

OK so I am up to a 2 day roleplay session and please remind me to never dream of a title for our football team in the next decade.

[Emelie Shadowstar]

No can do Saturday. But Sunday is a go for me!

[Pierce Tondry]

I am moving this weekend and won't be around, most likely.

[Dasquian the Elf]

I'm COVERED IN GHOUL DROOL

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

This seemed very appropriate.

http://www.fanboys-online.com/roleplay-about-nothing/

[Crusader]

^^:D

Just asking: Is this Sunday or the next one best for all of us to move on with our plot

[Dasquian Belargic]

I could do the 22nd

[Cirrsseeto Quez]

I'm down for whatever

[Emelie Shadowstar]

22nd sounds good with me :D

[Captain Untouchable]

Damn it, I have to babysit on Sunday. :(

Is there any chance we could swap to a Saturday instead of a Sunday this week, or is that a no-go for people?

[Dasquian Belargic]

I can't do Saturday this week

[Emelie Shadowstar]

No can do...got a date with a man who is going to jab needles into my leg over and over and over and over again.

[Dasquian Belargic]

^ yessss <3

[Crusader]

Let's do this :D

[Crusader]

Kurth & O-Mei 30Xp for cleaning up the temple
Saidra 20Xp for Cat Woman like climbing action
Dasquian 10Xp for climbing and bondage support

[Dasquian the Elf]

I'm tired of these motherfuckin snakes in this motherfuckin cave

[Kurth Halx]

Dasquian is now the EYEBALL SNIPAH

[Pierce Tondry]

I used to be a snakeman guard and then I took an arrow to the eye.

[Saidra]

Trophy maraca time! :D shakey shakey.

[Dasquian the Elf]

Just call me Hawkeye

[Kurth Halx]

Holy shit! Best fucking session ever! It's like Michael Bay Roleplaying!

Also, you can't make an abomelette without breaking a few eggs.

[Dasquian the Elf]

note to self: you can upgrade your bondage skill easily now

[Saidra]

Snakes and a crane.:smug:

[Dasquian the Elf]

I got 99 problems but a 2-headed snake bitch ain't one

[Crusader]

Everyone gets 50 Xp
Dasq 15Xp for das uber eyeshot and bondage action
Saidra 15Xp for the distinguished crane operator medal

Why do I now feel like the Rancor Keeper after Luke Skywalker killed his creature with a gate?

[Dasquian the Elf]

I just realised what this dungeon reminded me of; every single dungeon ever in City of Heroes! (i.e. cave full of snakes)


...only much more badass.


:cool

[Crusader]

coming up later Revenge of the Snakemen. Who will be there?

[Glen Fiddich]

From dreaming dark and slumbers deep;
The Man of Thorwal stirs from sleep;
He hefts his hulking frame from bed;
A hand scrubs at his weary head;
He finds his axe, wields it, and cries -

"Um... where the fuck are you guys?"

:uhoh

[Cirrsseeto Quez]

:lol that's brilliant!

[Captain Untouchable]

Before we get started, I want to actually get around to spending spend some of my XP if I can. :uhoh

I believe I have 260 XP to spend?

*

My Axes & Maces is currently at 8 TP. I would like to increase it by 4 points (39 + 45 + 50 + 55 = 189), putting 1 point in AT and three points in PV, bringing me to 15/14.

My Sneak is currently at 0 TP. I'd also like to increase it by 4 points (3 + 7 + 12 + 17 = 39), bringing me to 4.

If my maths is correct, that should leave me with 32 points to spend at a later date. Is that all kosher/correct/etc, Peter?

[Saidra]

All attack Glen's tentacle!

[Glen Fiddich]

Glen Fiddich: Demon Rider. :smokin

[Makhaira]

And then...the demon exploded in your face.

[Glen Fiddich]

Clearly, he just couldn't withstand prolonged contact with my crotch.

[Makhaira]

Clearly.

What else is a pink gelatin tentacled demon to do when confronted in such a manner?

[Crusader]

Always make sure you know the full extent of a quest before embarking upon it. You don't want to get all caught up in some affair with some dragon or other after simply agreeing to what you think will be an evening of entertainment and fine dining with a group of dwarves. That's how these things always seem to start.

True Story!

[Saidra]

:D I gots me an eyeball!

...has my class changed from Thief to Witchdoctor without my knowledge? :whaa

[Dasquian the Elf]

http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m3407zb2mE1qf1qhm.gif

[Saidra]

EPIC PICKPOCKET!!!! :eee

Zip lining away? Michael Bay roll playing at it's finest.

[Makhaira]

Michael Bay-style demon cleaving leap?

Fuck yes!

[Crusader]

Next time we play I hope we wont have a 1 at every third D20 throw!

That was a really epic season finally!

[Cirrsseeto Quez]

Sorry I missed out y'all. How epic did it get?

[Makhaira]

Saidra had several epic rolls - hell, she pickpocketted Liscom and then snuck out of the room in plain sight with the damn heart stone in her hand. SHE FLIRTED with the damned wizard and got him to make her his Queen and agree not to kill her. Then she shot him in the knee.

Dasquian called a shot to Liscom's groin and nailed him in the left testicle - after Peter told her it was Attack +14 (because that was better than a shot to the eye which was +15).

Either Saidra or Das shot the spell book so he couldn't cast - can't remember who did it, but it was very cool.

Glen had several epic moments of idiocy as per usual. One of his dumb-turned-brilliant ideas included tackling a chicken headed tentacle demon off of a stone walkway - his brawling roll was so good he took no damage when they landed on the rock fifteen feet below, as the demon conveniently cushioned his fall. He took damage once. ONCE!

Rhone (sp?) was the session's punching bag...a gargoyle blew up in his face, he fell off the zipline, was healed by the human/dragon dude, then helpfully bled all over the stone chamber with the metal plates in it (think Cerebro in the X-Men, with the walkway made of stone, the 'facets' being metal plates, and the round area at the end of the walkway in the center of the chamber having an altar on it instead of the interface terminal), and though wicked low on hit points decided to try and throw himself at Liscom. Only he critically failed his roll, smashed his face on the walkway and fell to the floor in a bloody pulp. He'll have to tell you about the beard incident. THE BEARD WAS HARMED.

Liscom smacked me on the ass after he parried one of my attacks, then, as he tried to kill me with a jet of fire, fucked up his spell and blasted himself in the face with it, which sent him sailing down fifteen feet to the rock floor. In a Michael Bay style-leap off the walkway, I landed on the demon Glen was fighting and (having rolled one of the many 1s that people were letting loose) and sliced him in two, and landed in the middle. (still so proud of my epic moment :D)

Then the dragon ate Liscom.

Peter was dumbfounded that we all managed to live with everything he threw at us.

Oh, and there was coffee tossed around as well. And expensive clothes ruined. And apparently you missed a rather epic speech Liscom intended to give Kurth. And...I've got your sword.

:)

(folks, please correct me if I got stuff wrong...I'm a little over-sugared and I'm sure I missed fully half of the epic stuff)

[Crusader]

Hell I am pretty wasted at work this morning...messa needs a coffee :(

[Dasquian Belargic]

I feel like I got hit with a fire lance last night. No really. My skull hurts.





Also that was me shooting that evil spellbook out of the douchelords hands! :smug:

[Captain Untouchable]

For me, the best part about last night was watching Peter's face as we managed to tear his carefully crafted plans apart with a mix of stupidity, awesomeness, and sheer dumb luck.

After all the manipulation and mindfucking that he's inflicted upon us over the last couple of months, we finally turned the tables and struck a blow against the true villain of Dark Banana.

:smokin


Seriously though Peter, this has been bloody epic. I've never had this much fun doing pen and paper stuff before. Evil you may be... but only because you're an evil genius. Kudos, good sir!

[Dasquian Belargic]

It will be even more fun when we are all together in person :D

[Crusader]

For me, the best part about last night was watching Peter's face as we managed to tear his carefully crafted plans apart with a mix of stupidity, awesomeness, and sheer dumb luck.

After all the manipulation and mindfucking that he's inflicted upon us over the last couple of months, we finally turned the tables and struck a blow against the true villain of Dark Banana.

:smokin


Seriously though Peter, this has been bloody epic. I've never had this much fun doing pen and paper stuff before. Evil you may be... but only because you're an evil genius. Kudos, good sir!

Thank you. :dance
I must say it is blast playing with this group. The last few sittings were amazing.

BTW there is a Game Master 101 workshop at Dragon Con! Maybe I should go there and learn one or the other trick.:smug:

LEVEL:
According to my calculations you are all level 5 now.:eee

So you could be already considered as local heroes at some places (Gareth High Society and Kunchom/Buskers from all over Aventuria). Some people know your name now and this might open one or the other door.

At level 8-10 you are already considered a national hero.

And at level 14-16 you are a respected hero beyond borders.

Everything beyond that is the stuff of legends.

THE FUTURE:
So like I said there will be a 2-3 year gap now that the heroes basically used to heal their wounds, train their skills and maybe do some traveling on their own but I will be talking about that a little bit more in Alabama.

The phase of adventures will be pretty much event driven. The heroes will watch how the first few pieces get set into motion that have turned Aventuria into the world that is now.
You will make new friends and enemies, meet old ones and find out how they have evolved during your adventures in the south.

[Dasquian Belargic]

It was a great campaign and I'm excited to see where we go next! :)

Are we getting assigned anymore XP points? I don't think I have ever officially spent any of mine. I really need to update my character sheet (she said, for the tenth time)

[Makhaira]

I really wish I could be there in Alabama with you guys, but I'll settle for someone having a laptop on and a hangout going! Don't want to miss the game.

Also...does anyone mind, or really, does anyone think Liz will mind if I keep the Amazon? I kind of like her, but I'm willing to change if y'all think there's something else we might need more in the group for the next adventure.

[Glen Fiddich]

Given the "special relationship" between Kurth and the Queen of the Amazons... if we ever find ourselves in a situation where Liz and Dee are both available and wanting to play, we could presumably just have two separate but identically-skilled Amazon warriors. Same character sheet, and all that.

[Crusader]

It was a great campaign and I'm excited to see where we go next! :)

Are we getting assigned anymore XP points? I don't think I have ever officially spent any of mine. I really need to update my character sheet (she said, for the tenth time)

We will do a level up session in 'Bama

XP for the last 2 Sittings:

20Xp for the combined effort against the Dharai

20Xp for Rhones Geology effort

10Xp for Saidra's right timing

10Xp for Makhaira's strong arms

10Xp for I think it was Kurth who saved the Dwarf's life for questioning

10Xp for Glen's balls and his strength that allowed him not get shreddered by the 8D20 damage

You should have all received 750Xp for completing the quest with a positiv outcome for Aventuria in other words you did not take Liscoms offer for "unlimited power". :airquotes

Plus additional 100Xp for everyone since you freed Colon and he did not die during the final confrontation.

20Xp for Saidra's Rogue skills

25Xp for Rhone who earned his purple heart last sitting

10Xp for Glen who was a real Ranger that left no half-man behind

15Xp for Makhaira for the Untouchable Achievment

10Xp for Dasquian's Sharp Shooting and magic support on the edge of his vitality

[Glen Fiddich]

Holy crap, I may actually have enough XP to get some armour! :eek

That means I can be even more reckless. :eee

[Saidra]

I'm still obscenely amused that Peter kept threatening to take my dice away. :lol

[Makhaira]

That was utterly priceless :D

[Crusader]

I'm still obscenely amused that Peter kept threatening to take my dice away. :lol


By the law of statistics this group has to have bad dice throws for the next 3 chapters in order to make up for its luck. So keep your cursed dice since you have already rolled all the 1s out anyway... at least according to science's game theory!

[Glen Fiddich]

You sure we're not just making up for all the bad luck from the blood curse, getting shot in the ass, and exploding various fluids from both ends?

[Crusader]

^^That was not bad luck. That was having a jackass as a GM.

[Dasquian Belargic]

For every moment of glory, there must be a moment when I soil my leather pants