Critique/Evaluation... Thingamabob

[Ilias Nytrau]

Alright.

While I know I haven't spent as much time fleshing out most of my characters like some of you folks, I think I could probably benefit from your thoughts. I'm mainly looking in terms of the following small list of characters, but for any others (see the list in the 'Who's Who' thread under this account) if you have something to say - such as something you like or whether you'd like to see a character I haven't been writing lately - then by all means, please do say something!

Now, for the little list...

Siyndacha Aerin (I know I just started this character here, but I'd love to hear your thoughts)

Lyanie Quez - Sweet, honest, outgoing and well-meaning country girl and greaseface, she now finds herself aboard the Novgorod where things are very different from her time aboard the Knightfall and with the Wheel in general. The vast difference now between her position and Cirr's is the cause of a great deal of awkwardness and puts her in the position of having to assert more self-control and discretion than she's used to.

Selinica Miriya - She may be a bit of an intolerable dickface right now, but I have thoughts as to why this is and how this might change. This is not the first incarnation of the Miriya Cailis character (traditionally a somewhat murderous Sith) and I mean for her to be much, much more different than past incarnations.

Kelly Perris - Leadership, sticking his junk where it might not be wise, so on and so forth. Walking the line between desires and duty.
A small list, I know. And please, don't feel that you need to be gentle. :-P

[Lilaena De'Ville]

I like Sindy a lot, I think her spunk is great and will add a lot to the Jedi as a whole. We have too many Serious People. I look forward to reading more about her. :)

The only critique I have for your other characters is that they simply aren't around enough. :( Kelly is my favorite, I think. I am looking forward to when he has to face off against Bette in a dogfight. >D

[Inyos Aamoran]

Siyndacha is in the process of growing on me. I've had a little bit of trouble trying to get a read on what you're trying to do with her: she seemed very young and feisty with Ben, whereas with Hal she seemed almost insecure at times. It'll be interesting to see how you slot her into the Wheel, considering that you've already got one Jedi and one non-Jedi. Finding a niche has been something I've found difficult with Amos (who is/was in a similar situation): I'd recommend you work out what to do with her and pounce on it as quickly as possible, so you aren't left with the character floundering around at a loose end.

Lyanie is always great to have around. It's good that you're managing to steer away from being a Kaylee clone, and yet are still managing to make it justifiably a Jewel Staite character. I'm looking forward to seeing how things unfold with Lyanie and Cirr... and it'll be interesting to see how the Lynie and Tink dynamic shapes up. I sense some hijinks with the Blue Squirrel as well: we may have to cook something up there.

Selinica feels off to me. When we did the thread with Glayde and Amos, her bitchiness felt justified, aimed, and measured. At the moment, she seems unnecessarily catty... sure, Xander has been saying some douchy things, but rather than fire back playful insults of her own it's been more of a bitchiness flamethrower. I'm also starting to get a little worried that, now you've got Siyndacha coming in, you're going to end up with most of your eggs in the Wheel basket. It might be worth spreading your assets around a little, just so you aren't left high and dry if we have another quiet patch.

Kelly could perhaps do with showing a little leadership. He's a fun character, and definately fits the Type A personality for a fighter pilot... but it's been a while since I remember seeing anything that justifies him being the boss of Rogue Squadron, and a lot of the stuff he's done (coughcoughCarrécough) is perhaps a smidge irresponsible for a commanding officer. I guess I'm trying to measure him against Wedge Antilles in the Stackpole X-Wing series, and Kelly just ain't remotely Wedge. There's nothing wrong with that, but I think the thread we've got on the go at the moment is a prime opportunity for him to step up and demonstrate why he's the one with the extra shinies on his uniform.

[Kiera Sontebren]

Siyndacha - I have to admit I was a bit thrown when the young feisty Jedi-to-be shut down after pulling Hal onto Ben's ship. I do enjoy the feel-goodness that Sindy was exhibiting in her interactions with Ben and Cirr, and I agree that a more light-hearted Jedi as opposed to the very apropos but still large bloc of serious Jedi is something we need more of, in a serious way. I don't think you should drop whatever it is that caused Sindy to shutdown, but perhaps a better lead-in next time will make the change feel more natural, as far as a jarring reversal of personality goes. I think that could make the change jarring emotionally, but not jarring to read.

Lyanie - :love Lyanie's a very feel good character as well, but not in the innocent way like Sindy, but more like her bubbly personality shines through in her interactions. I think you did right to include several more serious excerpts in her posts, as it's been keeping her from being a Lyanie clone. I do feel that it's a bit difficult to get there though; I saw you made her sister, and that's a good step. Have them play off each other, or even have one become an obstacle of a sort to the other either directly or indirectly.

Lyanie's been instrumental in making Ben such a fulfilling character to write for me, and a lot of him was fleshed out in interaction with Lyanie. I think Cirr could be Lyanie's 'Simon', if you will, especially with the added conflict of their ranks now in the way of them connecting so freely as they did before. How she's reacted to Tink and Muridaemus, both characters free of the Firefly/Serenity influence, has been also a great read and good for her as a character.

I've not read much of Perris or Miriya, so I can't say much, though I feel for Ben if he ever meets Miriya.