Curious Julian and the Big City

[Julian Davitt]

Julian sighed deeply, blowing the air through his nose, and looked past his front paws at the clothes idly waving in the breeze on the clothes-line. Aimee had passed by a few minutes before, on her way out of the house, giving him an awkward sort of wave before closing the door. The house itself was quiet, save for the skittering of the birds which were nesting in the attic.

He had yet to meet Anna, the owner of the house, and some of the other residents; he avoided them for the most part, as he was uncomfortable with their newness, and his wariness made it difficult to talk to him. He'd seen her, and she'd seen him, but neither had said anything to the other just yet, Anna because she had so much to do, and Julian because it was difficult to actually talk without human vocal cords. Julian wasn't against meeting her either, as she smelled like a mother, but at the same time she intimidated him for the same reason.

An ear poked up and his nose twitched. There was a faint scratching sound at the edge of the property, and he knew what it was within two minutes of nonchalant study.

A cat. He shot to his feet and trotted over to the edge of the property where he'd last heard the intruder, and poked his nose around some more. The cat was still there, and made sure Julian knew it when it hissed and scratched the sensitive black of his nose.

He yelped and jumped back, shaking his head to disperse the pain, and decided that the cat didn't want to play at the moment, which depressed him. He made his way to the front yard and gazed, listened, and smelled into the city, curious about what was in it.

[Anna Fernandez]

Anna was in the living room, and caught sight of their newest addition out in the front yard. She walked out onto the porch, and sat on the steps. "Julian?"

The wolf turned to regard her, not moving towards her, but not running away to hide, either, which was an improvement. "Julian, our neighbors will be worried to see you out front. I don' want to... scare them. Do you?" She patted her hand on the concrete step next to her.

"I am Anna... can you come over here?"

[Julian Davitt]

Julian looked back out to the street, listening and smelling for signs of fear. The undertone was there, like the smell of exhaust and pollution; a heavy tinge, a musk that never quite dimmed. He couldn't tell whether the neighbors were scared, but they were probably wary.

Wariness was imprinted into the very concrete that made the city, which made Julian think of a silent forest, holding its breath in anticipation of the death cries of prey. Unlike the forest, the city couldn't breathe out for the continuing deathly wails of predators and prey. What was fearfully anticipated in the forests and mountains was like the chirping of crickets and cicadas in this city.

He stood, keeping his tail low and head low in a posture of submission to Anna's authority as he paced toward her on the porch. He never looked at her directly, but his curiosity was still somewhat palpable.

[Anna Fernandez]

She'd done some reading on wolves, and watched enough Dog Whisperer to know that Julian was expressing submission by avoiding eye contact. In all honesty, she had no idea what to do with him. Forcing him to live as a human seemed cruel, but letting him continue on as a wolf seemed equally wrong.

Anna put her hand out to him, letting him sniff at it. "Do you like it here at the house?"

[Julian Davitt]

Julian sniffed lightly at the outstretched limb, noting which scents seemed familiar as hers, and which were indicative of where she had been and what she was doing. The smell of food hung heavily over her, and Julian nudged her hand slightly before he sat down.

He started to pant, relaxing his posture and coat (though it was his summer coat, so he looked thin and lanky, his legs dominating his profile), giving a doggish smile while moving his ears forward. While he couldn't say yes, he could show his affirmation in every other way possible.

[Anna Fernandez]

Anna smiled at the wolf. At the boy. She kept her mouth closed, not exposing her teeth in anything that might be thought a snarl. "I will be honest with you, Julian. I am not quite sure what to do with you."

She looked out over the front lawn. "I can keep you safe. And you can be an animal if you want. But I would like you to try being a human, when you can. Because... you cannot live as a wolf forever. Not the way you were, and not here."

[Julian Davitt]

Julian's head tilted slightly as he tried to understand what Anna - the alpha female in a pack without an alpha male - was telling him. He'd been right, back when he'd said that he wasn't going to be able to be a wolf anymore.

It was getting darker outside, and the streetlights were turning on, blinking into existence like low hung stars in a smoky, almost featureless sky. He changed, his form melting and contorting into the body he'd been born with.

He moved his legs to sit more comfortably beside Anna, stretching a bit in the tight jeans he'd been given earlier. Shirtless, bare-foot, he felt a bit odd and out of place as a human, but then, he was out of place as a wolf too; he was getting too old to be allowed into a pack, unless he wanted to start his own, and he'd never had the inclination to do so.

"...Why?" he asked. Even as a human, he wouldn't meet her eyes.

[Anna Fernandez]

She had to look away from the shifting and melting in-between shapes his body contorted into as he became human, but once he had finished she turned back to him.

His shaggy hair fell into his eyes, his face downcast to avoid accidentally meeting her gaze. Anna mentally sighed, wondering if she was truly up for this challenge. Aidan had thought so, obviously. "Because as a wolf humans fear you. Your life would be in danger, and if you were caught again by forest rangers... you would end up in an institution. A... hospital. You would not be free.

"Here at my home, I try to teach teens with mutations how to live full lives among other people. I will do the same for you, Julian, if you will let me. But it will take time. I understand you feel uncomfortable in this form," she added, "but it is your human form that is your natural state."

[Julian Davitt]

"Well, Julian, eh?" the old man glowered at him with an air of suspicion. "Strange name for a dog. A hybrid?"

"Well yes," Dominic grinned, looking down at his passenger. Julian gave him a curious tilt of the head. "He's lost, you see."

"Like you?" Silas asked, giving the younger man a charged look. Dominic's smile didn't waver.

"Not all who wander are lost, Silas," Dominic replied. Silas snorted and whistled. Julian sat and watched him. Silas frowned. "Call his name, Silas."

"You're living with me now, Julian," Silas said, extending a hand to the canine. Julian sniffed the old man's hand. He smelled of burning pine. "Come along."

Julian hopped out of the passenger car and turned to look back at Dominic, who smiled.

"You're human, Julian. You may not feel like it now, but you are. You were born human, and that means a lot more than most people think."

Julian whined in disbelief, and followed Silas back into the isolated house. Dominic fired up his bike and rode away.



"I don't feel human," Julian replied. "I feel like a wolf. But I'll try, if it means that the rangers won't catch me again."

There was a silence, and Julian could tell Anna wanted to say something, but wasn't. He decided to keep talking.

"It's a lot simpler, being a wolf. But it's harder too. It feels simpler when I'm a wolf, I mean. When I'm sad, I'm sad. When I'm happy, I'm happy. Feelings don't mix much."

[Anna Fernandez]

"I understand," and she thought she did, though it was new ground for her. "And I do not want you to be uncomfortable here. You can shapeshift when you want - using your ability is not something you should be ashamed of, or try to stop doing. I just want you to spend time as a human as well."

Anna smiled at him. "I hope that makes sense." She pushed up to her feet, adjusting her shirt over her pregnant belly. "But enough serious talk. I haven't been able to find out what you like to eat yet. So - any favorites? As a human or a wolf."

[Julian Davitt]

"Most meat tastes the same: like blood. Fatter is better, it means it's easier to pull out and swallow."

Julian didn't know much about calories and the amount of energy really needed to sustain life. It was more about sating the basic urge of hunger, until he was tired and went back to the den to sleep with the rest of the pack.

"Fish tastes different. The scales get caught in my teeth and the bones are soft and I nearly choked once, and they're hard to catch, but I like them," he let his eyes wander over the silhouettes of the high-rises and rooftops against the sky. "I once took some... ah, burgers from some people in the woods. That was good."

[Anna Fernandez]

She smiled encouragingly. "We do like burgers, here, as I'm sure you have noticed." Anna checked her watch. "Now, I would like to take you shopping to get some new clothes. If you spend more time in this shape then you're going to need more than one outfit."

She looked at Julian, and added, "If you put on a shirt we can go tonight, before it gets too late and Target closes. If you're up for it."

[Julian Davitt]

Julian grimaced, though the expression was a small one. But clothing was not optional it seemed.

He stood, and walked inside to grab the Metallica shirt the Ranger had given back when he'd been captured, only two weeks before.

"I'm ready," he said, pulling the loose shirt on as he stepped out the door.

[Anna Fernandez]

"Perfect," she said, giving the keys in her hand a jingle and stepping down off the porch. "Let's go."

He was quiet on the ride to the store. Julian was always quiet, no matter what form he was in. Anna couldn't help but feel a little apprehensive, though, worrying that going to a store would be too much for him. Would he change to wolf and run away?

There was only one way to find out. She looked at him while they were stopped at a red light and smiled. "Have you ever been shopping before?"

[Julian Davitt]

Julian looked at her quizzically and then forward at the intersection.

"No," he said finally. "Or maybe. I don't remember."

He didn't like his answer very much though, as Anna was trying to help him out. He was thankful; he was trying to be a person instead of a wolf, but the change was jarring.

"I should have though. My mother should have taken me."

He frowned and tried to think back through the blurred years to a time when his mother was alive.

The truck started again, and he resisted the urge to scratch his shoulder, where the fabric rubbed and irritated his skin. It was supposed to get better the longer he wore shirts, but he wanted to stop itching now.

His sister had told him the same thing when he was younger; he needed to stop scratching or the itching would get worse. She applied a cool balm to his skin while Dad watched from the doorway. They didn't look at him, and knew that he'd walked away when the smell of beer and liquor faded from the room.

"I don't remember," he said again, as they pulled into the parking lot. He let the memory go back in to the fuzzy chill of the past, behind the static and snow of eight years as an animal. It was so much easier to just let it go.

[Anna Fernandez]

Anna set the parking break and sat back in her seat for a moment. Julian watched the people going in and out of the store, and she watched him. "If it becomes too much for you," she said quietly, "Let me know. There will be many people around."

She opened the truck door and hopped down, the warm night air blowing her hair as she rounded the front of the truck to join the boy. "Come on, let's get you something to wear." Anna smiled encouragingly as they walked toward the bright lights and automatic doors.

[Julian Davitt]

At first Julian wanted to say that he was all right; he wanted to say that he could handle going to the store. But she was right. There were a lot of people around, and while he wasn't afraid, he was skittish, unused to so much activity happening around him at once and so loudly.

He fumbled with the door latch, but managed to open the door after a couple tries. Shutting the door, he joined Anna out in front of the truck.

"Let's get you something to wear," she said with a smile. He nodded, and followed her into the store. The doors opened by themselves, and he watched in fascination as they closed after him. He didn't remember anything like that from before he'd changed. He thought he would have remembered something like that, doors opening and closing by themselves.

The main part of the store opened up before him. He could see a little restaurant to their left, and a wide aisle, flanked on either side by large banners and photos of people. 'Women', 'Infants', and 'Boys' were written in large white lettering on a red background.

Visibly taken back by the influx of sights and sounds, Julian turned to Anna, silently asking her to continue.

[Anna Fernandez]

"This way," she said, grabbing a cart to put some space between them and the other shoppers. "The mens section is over here." Anna pointed, and they passed by the greeting cards and craft aisles.

"We'll try on a few different sizes to make sure we get a good fit. And," she added, "If you need a certain style in case of having to change shape on the fly, like v-necks or ..." she gestured to shelves full of t-shirts. "I'm not sure about shapeshifter fashion."

Anna smiled. "I know you're not either. But we'll figure it out, I'm sure. For now, just put what interests you in the cart and we'll go to the dressing rooms where you can try them on." She was certain she was talking too much, and by the expression on Julian's face he was beginning to regret leaving the truck. She rifled through a rack of jeans, selecting some 31s and 32s as he had quite a narrow waist.

[Julian Davitt]

"What interests me?" Julian asked, shrugging. "Clothes don't usually last through changes. They rip and stuff."

He looked at a lot of the clothing on the racks and half-heartedly looked at a couple. The smell of unworn clothing was thick. Finally, he found packages of white t-shirts and picked it up. A person was wearing the shirt on the front of the plastic wrapped bundle, but his head was cut off the top of the picture. He turned at looked at Anna, still holding the package.

"I guess... these."

[Anna Fernandez]

Anna looked at him, and then the package of undershirts. If they were just going to get ripped up, the cheaper the better. "Those should be fine. Mediums?" She pointed to another package with an M on the top right corner.

"And perhaps not jeans," she added, putting the one in her hand back on the shelf. "Sweats?" Anna handed him a pair of black sweatpants with a drawstring waist.

[Julian Davitt]

Julian grimaced slightly as he looked at the sweatpants that Anna held up in front of him. Those would rip even more easily, and an image flashed across his mind of an older woman with brown hair walking into his father's room.

"Jeans," he said. "I wore some while I was... was a wolf. I don't change when I don't want to. I'll just take them off if I have to. If they're really tight, they change with me. But it's kinda uncomfortable."

He shifted, a bit embarrassed, and not sure why.

[Anna Fernandez]

"Okay." Anna whisked the sweatpants back to the shelf. "We probably have enough for you to try on. Several different fits and sizes." She steered them toward the changing rooms, aware of his growing discomfort, and wondering how she could help him better. Usually the problem with kids at the House was that they were too street smart, not naive to the ways of civilization.

Not that Julian was totally lost, either. He was just... it was like every experience was new. Like he was smelling and tasting the world for the first time - and, for him as a human, that was probably a correct assumption.

[Julian Davitt]

She herded him to the changing rooms, where a young attendant smiled widely at them. Julian was still put off by smiles; he knew that they were actually expressions of happiness and greeting, but he would always see taught shoulders, raised hackles, and hear the growling of warnings. He had to remind himself that they weren't threatening him.

"Hey there!" the attendant, a young woman with short brown hair, greeted. "Are you finding everything all right?"

Julian's eyes widened slightly and he looked at Anna before looking back.

"Ah," he breathed.

[Anna Fernandez]

"Si, si, everything is fine," supplied Anna, praying inwardly that it was, and Julian wasn't about to wolf out and run rampant through the store.

"Great! Here, let me show you to a room," and the girl held out her hands for the jeans. Julian hesitantly gave them to her, and then followed her around the corner to the changing stalls. Anna called after him, "Jus' find which ones you like the best and bring them back with you when you're done."

She found a seat by the rack of clothes that the employees were putting back on the sales floor, and sighed. Pregnancy was harder than most women made it look.

[Julian Davitt]

Julian returned a few minutes later, much more at ease, and wearing a new pair of blue jeans. He wasn't smiling, but the looseness of his muscles and relaxed posture he sported, even with the attendant right next to him, was plain to see.

"If you take good care of them, they can last you years. My brother has a pair just like that..." the girl was speaking, her words coming out too fast, like small fish darting down a stream. Julian seemed to be listening, his head slightly bowed and his eyes slightly unfocused. He was focusing more on the sound and cadence of her voice more than anything else. "And the 31s are a pretty nice fit without a belt, if you don't put much in your pockets."

"Thanks," Julian said. The attendant smiled and nodded; the expression was a bit more than just friendliness, it seemed to hold a bit of knowledge in there also, like she had figured something out about the teen she had been helping. Julian stopped a foot from Anna, and held three pairs out to Anna. "These fit the best."

[Anna Fernandez]

"Julian," Anna said, taking the clothes. "You forgot your shirt."

A group of teen girls were huddled by the nearby entrance for the women's changing rooms, sighing noisily over a book. "Team Edward all the way!" proclaimed one adamantly.

[Julian Davitt]

Julian seemingly ignored the girls as he jogged back to get the large faded Metallica shirt from the changing room.

"No way!" another girl said, pulling out a wall poster featuring a very muscled brown boy with short hair. "Team Jacob! Look at him."

All the girls sighed.

"Besides, werewolves are much cooler. I was reading Anne Rice's novels, you know, about Lestat and all them, and those are much cooler than the vampires in this. Think about it. He turns into a giant wolf! And he looks so dangerous. He's so devoted to her. He'd never abandon her."

Julian was now paying attention, listening to them intently.

A boy walked up to them and snorted as he caught the tail end of their conversation.

"All of 'em are gay," he said. The girls rolled their eyes, but the boy's confidence and bearing kept them from ignoring him completely. "Listen. Vampires and Werewolves are monsters. They can be dark, they can be tragic, but they're not supposed to be romantic. They've had their souls ripped away and have become perverted shadows of human beings. They aren't supposed to be. Werewolves get controlled by the monster within. Vampires see humans as meat, like most people look at cows, or even like nearly every one looks at an apple. We're food to them. Not some release, or some reason to live. They survive by killing us, all of them enjoy it at the time, and that doesn't make them anything but monsters."

The girls listened, but they were still lost in their fantasies.

"You can't change a monster like that," the boy continued. "Once it happens, there's no other way but to kill them. They're perversions of people."

Julian frowned slightly, but kept quiet as he turned to Anna.

"I think I've got enough," he said, wiggling his toes on the linoleum and noting how weird it felt to not have dirt beneath his feet.

[Anna Fernandez]

Distracted by the nearby conversation, Anna nodded at Julian and he put the clothes he wanted into the cart. She wondered what, if anything, he knew about werewolves in fiction, and not for the first time felt completely out of her depth with the teen. "Right!" she said a little too brightly. "Let us get going, then."

[Julian Davitt]

Julian remained quiet, looking about the store with eyes unfocused in thought.

"Anna..." he said. "What do I do to, you know, become human?"

They were standing in line, and the couple behind them perked up, curious about the odd conversation the teen was broaching by the cashier, who was ignoring everything except the items in front of him and the female cashier in the next station.

"I don't know how."

[Anna Fernandez]

Anna looked at the teen steadily, and put her hand on his arm. "You are human, Julian." She knew people were staring, but she ignored them.