Driving Mrs. Meorrrei

[Cirrsseeto Quez]

He'd spent an hour trying to work up the nerve, and the words, necessary to confront his mother. If he'd taken an extra three hours, he still probably wouldn't be ready. Even if she wasn't the most stubborn person in the galaxy, just being his mother was enough to do it. She delighted in being a contrarian, or at least he thought as much. As much as he loved being able to see her for the first time in years, spending an entire month with your mother in the same convoy was...was...

Well, suffice to say, living with Sanis had cultivated an independent streak. And Sanis never asked him to do his laundry! By Sanjaara, the woman is seventy five, you'd think during any of those years she'd figure out how to do her own damn laundry. That was the final straw.

Of course he did the laundry. But only four times!

So here he stood, at his mother's makeshift quarters, arms full of well-creased and folded garments, still not quite sure how to broach the subject, when the door opened before he was ready, and the words just slipped out.

"Motherr, jI thjink jit'ss tjime jyou left the wheel."

He nearly blanched.

[Taataani Meorrrei]

Well, that caught her off guard. She'd been fending off that brusque little hellion Abarai Loki with such similar demands for weeks, but to hear her own son say it? For once, she didn't have a sharp comeback, and instead stood in the threshold of her quarters, wearing a bathrobe and a befuddled expression.

"Not a hello? Not a 'Good morrnjing Motherr! jI hope jyou sslept well!' Jusst 'Hello, get out!' jiss jit?"

Cirr withered under a well-practiced guilt trip, and Taa let him linger a moment under it, before she took her clothes from him.

"Come jinssjide and have tea wjith me."

[Cirrsseeto Quez]

"Motherr, jI'm sserriouss."

There was a little steel in Cirr's voice, which inwardly terrified him. He stood where he was, a little worried about what was to come next. He swallowed down his anxiety, and continued.

"jI love bejing able to ssee jyou. Rrealljy jI do. But...jit'ss not ssafe herre. Not forr jyou. jI don't want to thjink of what mjight happen jif jyou'rre caught up jin a fjight."

[Taataani Meorrrei]

Her expression softened, and she put on a smile.

"jI know jit can't have been eassjy forr jyou to assk that, Cirrsseeto. jYou'rre afrrajid jyou'll hurrt mjy feeljingss?"

She patted him on the arm.

"Tell jyou what. We'll talk about jit overr lunch, okajy? Gjive mama twentjy mjinutess to get prressentable and jI'll meet jyou jin the messs hall."

She leaned forward on her tip-toes and planted a kiss on Cirr's cheek. With that, she stepped back and closed the door, leaving Cirr to breathe a total sigh of relief, and wondering if he'd escaped the worst of it.

[Jamo Jakatta]

Although he had never been to the Exotic Animal Emporium of Bollin, Jamo imagined with near certainty that the experience of entering the zoo was identical to that of entering the Challenger's mess hall. Rogue Squadron sat comfortably in the pecking order, relying on equal parts outlandish reputation and unbelievable good fortune to create an aura of awe around themselves.

Cirrsseeto had joined the table mid-conversation, as Jamo and Iyar, much to the bemusement of everyone else, were debating who would win in a fight between a clawcat and an acklay. At the sight of the big Cizerack, Jamo gave his wingman a nudge in the side as he shovelled another bite of breakfast mash into his mouth.

“What's up, Cirr? You look like you've seen a ghost.”

[Cirrsseeto Quez]

The best thing about moving on up to the Challenger was the more upscale mess hall. Valiant more or less hashed out warmed over ration packs, and for a guy like Cirr, it took a lot of wheedling to get the basic portions in. He'd kept more or less the same weight, but got a bit softer eating more junk than substance. Here at least, you could sometimes get real food. Being a part of Rogue Squadron helped, because with a rep like that (and a little bit of bribery), the mess officer held things aside for you like fresh fish, and fat little rodents that probably didn't get fat on garbage.

Yet, even with his tray weighed down with a half dozen striped jewel fish, he didn't tuck in. Instead, he sipped absently at his caf, and chewed on Jamo's question.

"Nothjing, uh. Just, um."

He sighed.

"Famjily."

By now, there probably wasn't a crewer in the convoy that hadn't heard the scuttlebutt about Cirr's, well, insane mother. It's a small fish bowl, and she's a very big fish.

[Jamo Jakatta]

Jamo peered for a moment at Cirr's tray; half of the contents still appeared to be alive. He quirked an eyebrow as his eyes lifted and the credit dropped. He spooned another helping of food into his mouth, talking as he chewed.

“Right. So, when do we get to meet your old lady?”

[Cirrsseeto Quez]

It never ended with this guy, did it?

Cirr's tail twitched with a deep-rooted annoyance, and he eased his cup of caf down to the table.

"How about neverr?"

He shook his head, digging claws into a jewel fish as he chowed half of it down.

[Iyar Thiled]

"Well that's no fun." Iyar finally chimed in as he lazily moved his spoon about in the bowl of mush in front of him.

If there was one regret from his decision to become a starfighter pilot in the Rebellion it was the food. Half the time it barely classified as edible and it certainly couldn't even think of holding a candle to the exotic meals of his home planet. Iyar figured that if Rogue Squadron ever got off of Protect the Secret Convoy duty he would immediately write home and beg for a care package.

With the food once again a complete disappointment, and obvious amusements elsewhere, the Zeltron cast a leering gaze at Cirr.

"I mean, depriving her of meeting the two best pilots in the fleet. How ever will you live that down if she were to find out?"

[Taataani Meorrrei]

As if on terrible cue, Madam Meorrrei herself traipsed into the mess hall, now suitably dressed to meet the day. She spotted her son, amid a pair of handsome humanoids, and gave him a warm smile as she approached. Cirr, by contrast, looked as if he half-wanted to disappear beneath his tray.

She eased into the seat adjacent from Cirr, and fetched one of the jewel fish for herself.

"Two besst pjilotss?"

True to her ears, she'd caught most of the exchange on the way over.

[Jamo Jakatta]

It was hard to resist the urge to look at Cirr, to see the expression that was undoubtedly spreading like a horrible rash across his face, but Jamo reined himself in.

“Madam Meorrrei,” He set aside his meal and offered the lady what could only be described as a Corellian smile. “Lieutenant Jamo Jakatta, Rogue Squadron. This is my wing-man, Flight Officer Iyar Thiled.”

[Cirrsseeto Quez]

Cirr, without a real interjection at hand to offer up and stop this insipid meeting, took out his frustrations on his fish, tearing away a healthy bite as he kept his eyes down.

This was supposed to be his moment to tell his mother off the ship, with as much tact as he could muster. These two intergalactic fratboys were going to ruin it all for him.

[Taataani Meorrrei]

"Ahh..."

Intrigued, Taataani's ears raised up. She sat her fish aside, for now.

"jYess, jyess. Rrogue Ssquadrron. jYou fljy wjith mjy ljittle Cirrsseeto and Ssanjiss?"

She glanced over to her son. Something obviously had his tail all in a knot. No telling why that was.

[Iyar Thiled]

Ah, there was nothing quite like family to embarrass the crap out of you. Although Iyar knew damn well how cringe-worthy mothers could be at times, he still found it hard to stifle the chuckle that wanted to come from "mjy ljittle Cirrsseeto". A mouthful of breakfast helped, but just barely.

It did manage to keep him from speaking, though. But Iyar doubted it would give Cir any reason to celebrate. Jamo did have the gift of quick wit and it wasn't rare for the human to blurt out the comment that was lingering on the edge of the Zeltron's thoughts.

[Jamo Jakatta]

“Well, they fly with us, in a support capacity,” Jamo conceded, with a smile that said he didn't think this was quite the same as he and the Rogues flying with the Layla. “Sanis's ship doesn't have the manoeuvrability or versatility of our starfighters, but it's good to know that we've got Cirrsseeto and his sensors watching our backs.”

[Cirrsseeto Quez]

Cirr inwardly scoffed at the rebuke, even if there was a kernel of truth to it. He knew exactly what game Jamo was playing at, and he didn't want to join in. Still, having his mother around did tend to complicate things.

"Yeah, those sensorrs arre usually what tjips the scales jin ourr favorr, sjince even an X-Wjing can't zjig and zag ljike a TjIE can."

There was a chance it could cook off into a pissing match, but Cirr had a feeling Jamo had other torments in mind.

[Jamo Jakatta]

Jamo conceded that point with a nod, then leant forward one elbow against the table that separated him and Iyar from the pair of Cizeri. “... although, that depends on who you have behind the controls.” He jerked a thumb at his wing-man. “Me and Iyar, there's really nothing we can't out run or out manoeuvre. When the brass wants some precious cargo brought into the fleet, we're the ones they turn to. Of course, we don't like to brag too much,” he added, sitting back from the table with a sigh of satisfaction.

[Taataani Meorrrei]

"Well, lookss ljike jyou've brragged morre than enough forr me. jI jusst sso happen to be lookjing forr a pjilot orr two mjysself."

Taa paused, realizing the reality she was in, and added a caveat.

"That jiss, of courrsse, jif a ljittle errrand on the ssjide doessn't jinterrferre wjith jyourr dutjiess, of courrsse."

She caught a purely bewildered look from her son out of the corner of her eye, but didn't even flinch. He knew better than to call her out on that sort of thing.

[Jamo Jakatta]

Since assimilating the Challenger and its accompanying fighter squadrons into the Wheel, the Rogue's had been given a reprieve – or at least, as close as you could get to a reprieve in the convoy – from the relentless cycle of sleep, patrol, sleep, patrol, sleep, patrol. Ordinarily, Jamo wouldn't have found the prospect of sacrificing his free time to become an errand boy an enticing prospect, but this didn't strike him as an ordinary proposal.

“How can we help?”

[Taataani Meorrrei]

"Well, jyou can prrobabljy jimagjine that asss much asss jI love mjy darrljing Cirrsseeto, jI am a verrjy bussjy woman and have qujite a bjit of bussjinesss elssewherre."

She glanced to Iyar, then back to Jamo, an ear twitching as she did.

"jI need passsage to Carshoulis, and sskjilled pjilotss to take me."

She leaned back in her chair, letting her tail loop into her lap as she waited for her answer.

[Iyar Thiled]

"Well, if it's skilled pilots you need," Iyar had managed to polish off the last of the food and now used his spoon as an unsophisticated means of emphasizing his gestures, pointing and twirling it with his words. "then really it's the skilled ones you should have, my Lady."

He cast his best smile, the kind reserved for only special occasions and this, well of course this was a special occasion.

"After all, with your little Cirrsseeto" (No way Iyar was ever going to let that opportunity pass by now that he managed to get a hold of himself) "keeping watch on the convoy, I'm sure the Fleet could let me and Jamo here have the prestigious honor of escorting you. It's really the least we could do for the kin of one of our own."

He finished off the small speech by tumbling the spoon end over end across the back of his hand until it landed back into the bowl with a small clink.

"Aint that right, Joker?"

[Cirrsseeto Quez]

Cirr dipped his head down a bit, gingerly massaging at the bridge of his nose as he muttered.

"Suurra kenta'ai."

He raised his eyes in time to catch that glint in his mother's eye that was as constant as any star in the sky. The glint that said she had all of the variables accounted for, and this was a win for her.

Worse, there was nothing he could actually say to her to dissuade her from doing it. He kind of wish he bothered to learn tail signs from Alleeha when she had a tutor, because he absolutely needed a way to say don't you realize I hate these assholes!?!

As it stood, he just ate methodically, doing his best to ignore the grievances and to pretend they weren't really pissing him off.

[Taataani Meorrrei]

Oh.

That was adorable.

For a moment, Taataani put aside the unsubtle agonies her son writhed in. He would be fine.

No, her attention was fixed to the Zeltron who thought he was so clever playing a game he clearly had no idea of the rules. Maybe that's why dalliances with forrda were her - what did Rai'faani call it? - little pink weakness. Like banthas to slaughter. Her full lips turned upward a little bit at the prospect of conquest, and she carefully returned to an expression of polite gratitude. No sense in dropping pretense yet, after all. The Zeltron and his Human pilot ringleader both had more or less the same fool notion in mind.

Double the pleasure. Double the fun.

"Well, jI have no doubt jin both of jyourr sskjillss jin brrjingjing me home ssafeljy. And wjith jyou both frrjiendss of Cirrsseeto, jI'll make ssurre jyou arre apprroprrjiateljy rrewarrded. jI have trrade conssularr codess jyou can usse to grrant prrjiorrjitjy passsage thrrough the Clussterr, too, jif jyou'll be needjing them."

Who was she kidding? She was still humoring the bit of daydreaming. And the best part of rented mules is that if you bought the insurance up front, who cared about the damages.

She caught Cirr's eyes. He saw it all playing out in her expression, and she simply returned a knowing look.

[Jamo Jakatta]

Jamo tossed a nod at Iyar. The fact that he had no idea where the Carshoulis Cluster was located was, at this point, largely irrelevant.

“You have a ship of your own? We've got long-range two-man snubs that could make it at a push, but it'd be a cosy ride.”

[Taataani Meorrrei]

She smiled politely.

"No, but thjiss jiss a bjig sshjip, no? jI ssaw plentjy of sshuttless gojing jin. How about one of thosse?"

She leaned back, teasing the tuft of her tail as it rested in her lap.

"Ssomethjing wjith rroom."

[Iyar Thiled]

"I'm sure we can work something out." Iyar offered.

"After all, it's not like they make use of those shuttles a ton anyway. Seems that those that show up don't really leave... and with me and Jamo as pilots they'd get it back just as good as the day it left."

A slow grin spread across his lips as if the more the thought occurred to him, the more it all seemed to make perfect sense.

"And with the two of us flying we should be able to get you home pretty quickly too. Safe and sound as it were."

[Cirrsseeto Quez]

Cirr stood up, having the stomach for none of this.

"Alrrjight then. jI thjink jI'll go box thjis up and have jit jin my quarrterrs. Goodbye motherr. jI'll call. Don't...uh..."

Well, too late for warnings probably. He glanced at Jamo and Iyar and shook his head.

"...whateverr."

[Jamo Jakatta]

Jamo watched Cirr go with a smile that bordered on rueful. The game lost some of its fun without the big felines participation.

“Well,” he slapped both palms down on the table, pushing himself to his feet. “How about you get your things together and meet us on the forward hangar deck in an hour? That should give us plenty of time to arrange and prepare the shuttle for you.”

[Taataani Meorrrei]

She rose as well, looking from Jamo to Iyar and back again. The corners of her mouth turned up into a knowing smile.

"One hourr, then. jI look forrwarrd to bejing esscorrted bjy ssuch excellent..."

Her words trailed off, mind busy at work on something absolutely sordid. She took in a deep breath through her nose, settling for devouring their combined scents as an apertif to something more filling later.

"...pjilotss."

She didn't linger, at risk of the temptation of acting on her intentions prematurely. Instead, she returned to her quarters as instructed, and prepared her things. She was sure those two would need the time to gloat about their good fortune, as much good as that would do them. She'd make their acquaintance on the hangar deck promptly.

[Iyar Thiled]

Iyar watched Madame Meorrrei leave, shaking his head just slightly before he pushed back away from the table.

"This has got to be the best worst idea ever."


Just a bit before 1 hour later


It felt strange to be standing in the hangar bay, not readying to board his X-Wing with the rest of rogue squadron. Iyar eyed the shuttle with distaste. It was everything his fighter wasn't - chunky looking, big, and probably slow. It was almost enough to call the whole thing off, an he may have, if Jamo hadn't been there to share a few laughs and point out a few female mechanics to him as they lay under the various craft, fixing things, wedging themselves into compromising positions, bending over...

It was a way to kill time at least.

[Jamo Jakatta]

A pair of technicians struggled to push a trolley full of equipment past Jamo and Iyar. As they huffed and puffed their way by, one glanced up sharply from beneath his sweat-damp brow.

“You two got nothing more important to do than stand around gawking, Joker?”

“That's Captain Joker to you, specialist – and we have something very important to do this afternoon actually. Me and the Lieutenant here got ourselves a diplomat to ferry about.”

The technician grunted and rolled his eyes away from the pair of pilots. “Light work for you fly-boys as usual. I'd like to see you do some heavy lifting for a change.”

A smirk tugged at Jamo's lips as he glanced at Iyar.

[Taataani Meorrrei]

"jI thjink thesse two have thejirr handss qujite full, actualljy."

Taataani, now dressed for travel, arrived in the hangar bay, along with a midshipman she had somehow convinced to handle the baggage. She paused, expressing some mild look of disdain at the shuttle they'd be using for transit. Not exactly a luxury charter, now was it? Still, better than Captain Henning's accoutrements.

She waited expectantly for her entourage to accomodate her, appearing as appropriately aloof as she cared to be. Her tail swayed a bit, betraying a little self-satisfaction in her selfish good fortune.

[Jamo Jakatta]

Arms crossed behind his back, Jamo stood at attention as Taataani approached with a vaguely puzzled looking midshipman trailing behind her, baggage in tow. Jamo gave the cadet a nod, a signal that he could board the shuttle and stow away whatever it was Madame Meorrrei had deemed necessary for her trip to Carshoulis.

“After you, ma'am.”

As they filed into the shuttle, Jamo followed behind Taataani, gaze lingering for a moment on the swaying of her tail and hips.

“Our departure window is locked in. Just enough time for you to get comfortable, and then we'll be on our way.”

[Iyar Thiled]

The brief moment of Jamo talking gave Iyar enough time to shuffle past, give Joker a childish elbow, and triumphantly drop into the pilot's seat. A long flight was ahead of them, most of it would be handled by the ship's computers once they hit hyperspace but there was no way Iyar wasn't going to let the Captain have first dibs on handling the shuttle.

At least he'd managed to stake the claim without the two of them getting into some sort of childish shoving and slapping match over the controls.

He practically beamed as Joker shot him a look. "You really should let the lowly Lieutenant handle this boring part. Why don't you entertain our guest?"

[Taataani Meorrrei]

Taataani took her seat, noting with distaste that once again she would be flying below her minimum expected threshold for creature comforts. The bucket seats were cushioned at least - barely so. She smooshed in, finding with relief that there was a lever at the side to allow at least some degree of declination, of which she took full advantage. Now reclined to a civilized angle, she kicked off her shoes, letting them fall where may.

She gave the human an expecting glance when the Zeltron mentioned that he would be taking point on the entertainment duties. Retrieving a cigar from her purse, the Rrou'fai went to work shearing the tip with a few claw flicks, running her tongue slightly along her upper lip.

[Jamo Jakatta]

There was absolutely nothing exciting about a shuttle lift-off, Iyar was right about that. After you'd spent a career doing barrel rolls in starfighters, it was difficult to drum up any enthusiasm about flying anything else. Still, Jamo gave his selfless co-pilot a look. Iyar knew what he was doing and what he was doing wasn't just 'being helpful'.

Turning back to their passenger, Jamo smiled - the look brightening as he spotted the cigar in her hands.

“Mind if I join you?”

[Taataani Meorrrei]

Taataani looked up at Jamo from beyond the periphery of her sparking cigar, drawing in mouthfuls of air to encourage the flame to catch as her head wreathed in purple smoke.

"Mjind?"

She examined him curiously as she pulled the end of her cigar from her lips, holding it aside for the moment. Tendrils of purple curled up her clefted lip, and were drawn through her nose, to be expelled in a quick burst. A look of impatience graced her features as she leaned back in her seat.

"Ljieutenant Jakatta, jyou'rre bejing needlessljy poljite. jI djidn't assk forr jyou forr jyourr ssocjial grracess."

She eyed him up and down, smartly fitted in his Alliance pilot's attire. The novelty of the uniform had already worn thin.

"Off wjith that." She gestured casually with her cigar.

[Iyar Thiled]

If Iyar had been drinking anything he may have spit it out all over the console of the shuttle. So, it was probably a really good thing he wasn't. Not that he should have been surprised, but devious thoughts and shared glances full of innuendo between buddies and a rather forward Cizerack Matriarch was another thing entirely.

He almost felt bad for Joker. Almost.

Instead, just as the shuttle cleared the ship and entered free space he quickly cast an over-the-shoulder smile and a thumbs up in Jamo's direction. Gods he was incorrigible some days.