My Last Will and Testament

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

Many more times she had gone to see Zem Vymes, each time carefully corresponding to those instances in the General's schedule when he was away - whether it be for upper level meetings that she had no need to attend, or other official matters that took him to Dac. It did not matter, so long as he was gone.

Now, with her Master taken away once more to deal with the mind-numbing drudgery of tactical summits and fleet placement shuffling, s'Il found herself making the now-familiar journey to Dauntless' detention level. It was approaching the evening hours, and Zem had already been served his meal for the night. She would have brought him something if not for that fact.

The officer on duty gave her a sombre nod; one that she returned. He was familiar enough with her routine by now, and inwardly could not blame her. If the Jedi wouldn't tell her where her daughter was by conventional interrogation methods, then perhaps the softer hand was needed.

At least, that was what she had told him and the others who'd idly questioned her reasons for visiting the Jedi.

The door to Zem's cell opened, and the Lupine quietly stepped inside.

With sorrow she knew that it would be the for last time.

[Zem Vymes]

I had my back to her. More than that, I was deep in concentration. Inverted on one hand, I splayed my other hand out wide, then my legs, testing not only my physical self, but also my connection with the force. It never hurt, every so often, to remind myself that both were sound.

"Lok, you came back."

With grace beyond my years, I righted myself to face my visitor. My question would remain unsaid. How much longer could she defy the Sith Lord and pretend these were the old times?

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

She watched him, her eye dancing for only a moment before becoming overtaken by a look of sadness. She felt hope when she looked at him; hope that he would one day save her from herself - from the part of her that had nearly consumed her soul with such hate and resentment.

Closing the distance between them with a slow gait, s'Il stopped before him. He looked so much more healthy than the first time she had visited - there was life in him.

She ran a hand over the side of his face; the last time she'd come he'd asked to have his short beard shaved completely, and the Lupine had obliged. Now his face was smooth to the touch.

She smiled a tired smile at the feel of it, ignoring the silent question he was asking with his eyes.

"You look well," she finally said, her voice soft.

[Zem Vymes]

How I looked was partially by her design. If it wasn't for her decision to come here, I would still be languishing in solitude. So, the only response I had for her was a nod.

"To what do I owe this visit?"

That depended if it was Lok s'Ilancy or Darth Acera who wished to see me.

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

For a few moments longer she took him in, and presently her hand fell away to rest at her side.

She bowed her head.

"This is the last time that I will see you with my own eye."

To anyone other than Zem, it would've been a cryptic thing to decipher, but the old Jedi would know exactly what she was speaking of.

Her eyes closed tightly, and both hands came up to clasp together in front of her.

"My death is nearly here."

[Zem Vymes]

I understood the implications of what she said. They were saddening and unfortunate. Darth Acera's dark deeds were nearly completed.

"My faith in your redemption remains. The question is, how much of it do you believe? Enough to free me from this prison? Search your feelings, Lok. You have the power to undo this, all you have to do is set events into motion."

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

To that she said nothing, but rather moved to sit on the cot. His faith was comforting, and gave her strength.

"I believe... " She thought for a moment.

"I believe in you."

But the truth of the matter was that she could not set him free from the cell he now occupied. She didn't; but others did.

"I cannot release you, but others can."

She gave a pat to the area of the cot beside her, a gesture that she wished for him to sit with her.

"Sit. I have much I wish to tell you before my time here is at an end."

[Zem Vymes]

I took a seat by her side, searching with my feelings for any truth to her words. The shroud of the dark side had nearly drawn completely over my friend. Truth was a commodity that was difficult to find, but I was determined to keep looking.

"These others you speak of?"

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

"Your messengers."

Settling herself, the Lupine gave rested her hands in her lap.

"When they find you, you must send them to the Jedi to tell of what is happening. It is my belief and hope that the Masters will come for you. They will be able to free you."

She looked away from him, staring with a worried expression at the far wall of the cell.

"Everything hinges upon everything else. I do not believe that my future is bound by fate. Now, in this moment, it is bound by the so many conflicting wills of others, and all that I can do is to ensure that my own fail-safes are in place."

[Zem Vymes]

"Lok..."

What she said was true, but I resisted it.

"...if the council knows of what has happened, what you've become. I can't guarantee they'll share my point of view.

Darth Decepis must be stopped. But I don't know if I can sacrifice you to do it."

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

She turned at that, looking at him with a gaze that hearkened back to those days they'd spent alone, he her master, and she his padawan.

"You once told me a very long time ago, that there was the possibility that you would not survive the war. Now I am saying the same to you."

Her hands, still clasped in her lap, gripped each other tightly.

"I am set atop his altar, the knife raised high, and at this point what the Council thinks is not anything you or I can control."

[Zem Vymes]

"We've lost too many to the Sith, and I have no intentions of losing you."

I knew that she spoke prudently on this. If it were any other Jedi, I wouldn't be certain of a chance to avoid the fate she spoke of. The Dark Side was simply too powerful to turn against for many. We both remembered Tam's fate.

"And when I find Byl, and whatever you've ensconced within his mind, what then?"

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

Her eye took on a glazed look as she looked forward to a time that she had never thought would come. When she spoke, her voice held an undertone of inevitable finality.

"Then, you must prepare for war."

It was difficult, to speak these words to him.

"We'll not be on the same side as we were before - " one hand moved, sliding across her lap to take his own in a grip that punctuated that which she spoke of.

"But I have done my best to ensure you will have all the tools you'll need in the coming times."

[Zem Vymes]

I searched for meaning in her cryptic words.

"War...against the Alliance?"

Was this Decepis's plan the entire time? To seize control of the Jedi's only allies, and use them to strike at the Sith's mortal enemies?

"Lok, if this is true, even if successful, neither the Order nor the Alliance may survive the aftermath."

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

Her eye tracked upward to lock on his face, the sorrow it held a very real thing. There was nothing she could say to Zem's words, except to simply nod.

Finally, a sigh, and she broke away to look past him.

"It will begin all over again, the Purge. All I can do is give you the means to weather the storm as best as possible, and fight back when it is time."

She squeezed his hand.

"I have faith in you. And in the Jedi."

[Zem Vymes]

There was a touch of urgency in my voice.

"Have faith in me now, Lok. With the last resistance you have, help me escape from this place and find Byl. Whatever it takes, even if it's difficult. There's too much at stake to leave it to chance in a war."

Searching her feelings, I couldn't find the will within her to break from the path she was set on. It was a terrible truth that saddened me deeply.

"I've failed you completely, and for that, I am sorry."

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

There was a degree of surprise, that he would confess to failing her. s'Il found herself at a loss for words, but it wasn't long before she reached both hands up, placing them on either side of his face. She pulled his head down while in the same motion craning her neck upwards so that she could place a delicate kiss to his forehead.

"You have not failed me, Love." Her tone was soft, gentle, and calming.

"It is because of you that I am still alive; still here. Everything that you taught me so long ago I have used, and still use. Even now, all that I have done, it is in defense of the day when I would fall."

The fingers of her left hand ran through the shorter hair of his sideburns, tracing a line over his ear and to the nape of his neck, where his shorter locks had begun to slowly grow once more.

"You taught me Soresu. How to apply it in all things that I do. How to wait, and act when the time was right. It is not Vaapad that gives me this chance, but you. You and your teachings."

[Zem Vymes]

Exploring her words, I saw wisdom in the philosophy. Did she know at some point that she couldn't resist the Dark Lord directly? Perhaps this was the path to victory, but the risk was terrible, not only to the Jedi and the Alliance, but to her as well.

I had to wrestle with the notion that this Dark Lord may very well be using her own desperate hope against her.

"Lok, when I see you again, we'll face Darth Decepis together."

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

"I know we will."

There was a downturn at the corners of her lips then, as she pulled her hands from his face.

"I pray that you will one day forgive me for the things that I will do in the times to come. Even the things that I have done."

The guilt in her voice was tangible, thickening the air between them as shame passed over her features.

"The closer my time comes, the weaker I have grown. It is not long now until I am gone. Remember me for who I was, and know that I never stopped loving you."

[Zem Vymes]

I didn't want to hear of her dark deeds. I could tell by the weight she carried in her voice that they were terrible. I only hoped that she, and by extension I, could be forgiven for the sins we'd committed, and the sins we would commit.

"I remember Loklorien s'Ilancy well. It will take much more than Darth Acera to make me forget my friend."

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

His words were comforting, and s'Il nodded her thanks while wiping at a tear that had formed in her eye. There was still much to discuss, and now was not the time for her to mourn her own passing.

"Tell me, do you remember the planet that we made our home?"

It had only been a year that the two were on the world that seemed to belong to them only, but in her thoughts it had become the place that was theirs. It had been their refuge and their sanctuary.

[Zem Vymes]

"All I have to do in this place is to remember. So, yes. Of course I remember our time alone all those years ago."

Where was she going with this? I wasn't sure if I wanted to be any more nostalgic. It only made the pain sharper.

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

"You must go back."

She knew that to recall those times were difficult for him - they were to her as well - but what she spoke of now was necessary.

"Find our hut. Inside I have a gift for you. It has been tailored for you, and you only, and will help you in the times to come."

The Lupine looked down to her hands, folded in her lap.

"It is also where I have hidden your lightsabre. I was told to destroy it, but I could never do such a thing, so I took it and brought it home when the first opportunity presented itself.

"Now it, and your armor await."

[Zem Vymes]

"Armor?"

I looked at her with a bit of surprise.

"You've had this in mind for some time, then?"

Was this her intention from the outset? To resist Decepis at every opportunity? But now, his hold over her was nearly complete. Could she be saved, even with all of this?

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

Resolute determination washed over her, and s'Il met his surprise with steel.

"In the beginning it was easy to do these things - the moments of my clarity weren't so few as they are now. Before I was simply approaching the abyss, but now I am set to cast myself down.

"I am placing in your hands the rope with which to pull me back up."

[Zem Vymes]

The responsibility set at my feet was immense. I looked up to my old friend.

"Lok, so few of our order have ever returned from the dark side. I pray you know what you're doing. May the Force be with you."

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

That familiar phrase brought a smile to her face, and slowly rising from the cot, s'Il turned to look down at him. There was no mistaking the look in her eye - it was the same one that she'd given to him after her trial of knighthood. After he had first kissed her. Surprise, elation, joy - it was the very same look now, only on a face that was older.

"An old friend told me something wonderful not long ago. Something that bolstered my hopes and gave me renewal. He told me that when the Emperor turned on Luke, Vader broke the chains holding him. He destroyed his master, not out of selfish desires to rule the galaxy with his son, but to protect his son."

A hand lifted, running over Zem's brow and down the side of his face as he still sat on the cot, looking up at her.

"Love redeemed him."

She stared down at him.

"I have faith in you."