The Secret of the Whills

[Anbira Hicchoru]

Anbira found a solitary window aboard the Whaladon to look through. He'd been walking around the ship for an hour or more, aimless and without any real destination. He figured it would help him to find something to do, and to get his mind off the revelation (http://sw-fans.net/forum/showthread.php?t=20932&page=3) the Jedi Spirits had given him recently. While he was used to their interactions with him being at a whim and highly cryptic, he hadn't taken into consideration that their watchful tutelage would at some point end.

He was suddenly unsure of himself, of his training and the sum of his knowledge. He'd been a Jedi for over a decade now, but even in this, he felt little solace. There were lifetimes of lessons to learn in the ways of the Force. He felt, in some small way, he'd barely nicked the surface. And soon, their depthless wisdom would be committed to the Force itself. What he wanted most of all was for them to return again, to demand of him every waking moment, and to ensure that he was ready to truly be of service as a Jedi Knight.

He watched the stars pass, pressing a hand to the glass as they drifted along lazily.

[Anbira Hicchoru]

Through the glass of the viewport, a faint light shone as a ghostly figure appeared behind him.

"Have you found what you're looking for, out there?"

Qui Gon stood calmly, understanding completely the ruminations that were dominating his thoughts.

[Anbira Hicchoru]

Anbira turned, a look of concern on his face that was unable to be hidden.

"Why did you wait to tell me this now?"

He looked down, running a hand over his beard as his thoughts poured out of him.

"Somehow I knew. I had to know that you couldn't teach me forever. But, if this were the case, how many days have I wasted? How many lessons have I passed over because there was something else to do? I can think of too many days not spent learning, and there's this voice in my gut telling me I've failed you."

[Anbira Hicchoru]

Qui Gon shook his head.

"Anbira, you'll find that there are many kind of lessons, and only a very few of them come from ghostly apparitions. You were always watched over, and you were always learning."

He gave a slight cant of his head as he explained.

"Some lessons, perhaps larger than others, but all important in their own way, to make the Jedi you are right now. Trust in us on that. You were always learning."

[Anbira Hicchoru]

Anbira relented on that, but still was troubled.

"Master, I don't feel any more ready to face the galaxy and perform my duty than I did when I first put my lightsaber together. It can't all just be perspective. You mentioned great Jedi archives, and holocrons, and enough teachings that even Master Yoda could scarcely absorb, even with his years."

With a sigh, I shook my head.

"I'd ask what my destiny is, but I'm tired of cryptic answers, and fearful of no answers at all. Am I finally gone mad?"

[Anbira Hicchoru]

"Anbira, you're not mad. I'd go as far to say that your question is the most normal thing a Jedi could probably ask."

He gave a slight knowing smile at that.

"Finding one's destiny can take even the most powerful Jedi a lifetime. There's no easy answer to that question, no matter how many times you ask it, or look for an answer."

Qui Gon went silent at this for a moment.

"There is, however, one last thing you must learn. It is a lesson of great importance, and not given lightly."

[Anbira Hicchoru]

Eager to learn as much as possible from the spirits before it was too late, Anbira nodded at Qui Gon's statement.

"I'm ready to learn, Master."

It was bittersweet, however, to think that this would be the last knowledge imparted. What would it be? What profound wisdom was to be passed to him?

[Anbira Hicchoru]

"Then kneel, young Hicchoru."

Anbira did as he was told, drawing down to his knees. Qui Gon's spirit reached an ethereal hand to his eyes, and with a brush down, bade Anbira to close them, and begin to reach out with his feelings, and allow the Force in all things to speak to him.

"The technique that allows myself and other Jedi passed to commune with the living is an ancient art indeed, passed down from the days the Jedi Order was in its infancy. Indeed, for over a thousand generations, this knowledge was presumed lost."

"But it was discovered again?"

Anbira reached out with his intuition, and Qui Gon smiled.

"It was held in steward by a special sect. Guardians of the Force known as the Whills. Through my travels throughout the galaxy, I encountered a shaman of the Whills, who passed this guarded art to me. I, in turn, have passed it on to Master Yoda and my Padawan, Obi Wan, to be passed down further.

You are the next to learn. Your responsibility will be greater than you can imagine, for you must pass on what you learn."

[Anbira Hicchoru]

"Master, I'm confused."

He shook his head, eyes still closed.

"Of all the Jedi to teach this to, so many here are more important and greater than I am. What you do, it just seems so beyond me. Why teach it to me? Isn't there someone else?"

Qui Gonn's voice filled his mind, the spirit dissolving into the air.

"Your doubt of self does you no service, Anbira. Fear of failure only realizes itself. Let go of your hesitation"

A deep draw of breath, and Anbira stilled his protests.

"I am ready."

"Stretch out your feelings to their limits, Anbira. Beyond yourself. Beyond those around you. Beyond this ship. To the farthest reaches. Feel the distance between all, great and small. Turn it over in your mind's eye. All connected. All one, yet many."

[Anbira Hicchoru]

The subtleties and certainties of the Force fixed Anbira to the center of his feelings. Around him, he felt everything bound together in vibrant, living energy. The feel of living beings bright against more somber hues of the ship and all things beyond. He explored the abstract, and could feel the emotions of everyone surrounding the fleet. He felt the stars, ageless witnesses of countless battles and countless eras of peace. He felt the planets nestled under the stars' protection, orbs of beauty and diversity with their own stories to tell.

Anbira's brow knit as he pushed his embrace of the force to its limits.

He felt the weave of time around him, and voices of old mixed with the hushed whispers of the future, never quite audible as a whole. The cycles of the galaxy rolled on, ageless and repeating. He witnessed rise and fall, corruption, and redemption. It reverberated through all things, like a heartbeat.

In the farthest extent of his meditations, he even looked within to himself. For a Jedi who ignores himself is empty of mind, body, and spirit. Who was he? How had he come to this place.

What was his destiny?

It was here that he'd looked so many times. It was here that he'd found himself wanting. It was uncertain, as if it's absence dominated the landscape of that which he explored.

"Master...I...."

His concentration wore deeply on his face. He began to shake his head.

[Anbira Hicchoru]

"Search your feelings, Anbira. I am with you."

Qui Gon's disembodied voice sounded comfortingly in Anbira's mind. In his struggles, he could feel their presence around him. All of them.

"We are all with you"

And with their combined presence, the veil began to lift. Anbira's mouth opened, to profess that which his mind's eye saw.

"I see a battle. Two sides locked in a struggle of good versus evil."

"The light side, set against the dark side"

Obi Wan's voice confirmed his observation. Anbira's expression turned to concern.

"The Sith?"

"You know your enemy well."

Anakin's voice gave a stern warning, as Anbira's eyes moved quickly under closed lids.

He caught his breath.

"The Jedi..."

"Killed by the Sith Lord, he is."

It was then that Anbira could see far enough into his destiny to know the endgame.

His eyes snapped open, and he nearly fell forward, propping himself up with a hand as he lost his breath at the terrible revelation he shared with the spirits.

It couldn't be. It couldn't be.

"Master..."

[Anbira Hicchoru]

The spirits appeared around Anbira, all sharing with him this terrible news. They all wore somber expressions.

Anbira didn't speak at first. He simply looked up to them and shook his head.

"No..."

Yoda stepped ahead, now eye-level with the kneeling and devastated figure Anbira struck.

"Never easy it is, facing your destiny. Never know do you, that which you may find."

The Felucian hermit's eyes broke from Yoda's empathetic expression, looking to the ground in disbelief.

"I've done everything asked of me. Everything, Masters. I've sacrificed years in the wild, fought against those I used to consider brothers. I did it all willingly because I believed there was something good in it. Something higher than just war, destruction, and more strife."

His voice quaked a little, as he looked up to Yoda.

"Is there nothing else?"

[Anbira Hicchoru]

Yoda's answer was slow and careful. The balance was delicate, and Anbira was at a most critical junction in his life.

"Much more there is, beyond that which most look to possess. Avoid surrendering the body, even a Jedi cannot. Remain with that shell, your spirit does not."

An ethereal clawed hand reached up gently, guiding Anbira to face him yet again.

"Taught well, you have been. Misplaced in you, our faith is not. More than that which you aspire to achieve, a Jedi can reach."

Obi Wan placed a ghostly hand at Anbira's shoulder, lending his support when it was needed most.

"Search your feelings, Anbira. All your years of training have brought you to this point. Use every day to the fullest. Do well to others. Inspire by example. A Jedi has many powers, but the greatest of which is faith. Show others how to believe in others, and to believe in themselves."

Still shaken, Anbira's voice came low.

"This burden you give me is too great to bear. I've fought countless battles and been undeterred by the possibility of dying. But now, I see my death as plainly as I see you, and I'm to walk the narrow path towards it?

Please, leave me. Your faith in me, I can't return it. I'm sorry."

A tear dropped from his closed eyes to the deck plate as he shook his head. His voice was barely a whisper.

"I'm so sorry."