Every Which Way But Forward

[Barton Henning]

An hour or so on the hangar floor confirmed it, without a doubt: Barton was not destined to fix anything mechanical. He had agreed to take an engineer aboard the Knightfall for a very good reason, one which he was reminded of as he felt a sudden shock of electricity from an ill-placed spanner. Sitting back from the open casing of an astromech droid the Wheel's technicians had donated to his crew, Barton frowned. The technical specification for the droid lay open beside him, the pages smudged with the fingerprints of those who had leafed through it before him. The same diagram had been lying open for at least an hour, with Henning failing to absorb more than the first line, no matter how many times his eyes scanned over the text....

[Harlequin]

Harlequin made her aproach to the Knightfall under a hail of reproving blips and chirps from the R4 Unit that was trailing along behind her. She was unaware of Barton's presence on the opposite side of the craft, or indeed, on the Wheel at all - which could explain why she spoke as freely as she did. But, that would be being generous. In all liklihood, it was simply Alex speaking without her edit button engaged. As usual.

"Dont give me that Intergalctic goodwill speech, Ronin" she responded brusquely to the droid, calling it by its nickname. "It's not the Jedi's job to take on every stray soul and needy heart that comes knocking at its' door. We need fighters and soldiers not welfare cases and charity seekers. For instance," she stood gazing up at the Knightfall, "these guys." Alex was unaware of Barton's reinventing himself from reclusive city Doctor into captain of an adventuring crew. She had tried to not think too much about him since their angry parting some months before as they'd fled Cloud City to search for the Jedi Vortex. She could not change what had happened between them, and she certainly had no idea how to fix it. Barton Henning may as well be on the other side of the Core for all the distance that was now between them.

"I know its just a droid they're getting" she continued, the inference sparking indignant blips and squeaks from Ronin, "Sorry, no offence. But we spare a droid for these guys, supplies for someone else...Its all a drain on resources that we could be using to outfit an assault team against some Imperial Relay station or something.."


Alex was lucky her Master, Hobgoblin, was not close to hand to hear her voice such remarks and smack her with a crooked wooden staff for doing so. The two did not see exactly eye to eye on the issue. They did not see eye to eye on many issues and, in fact, Harlequin had yet to meet any Jedi that shared her aggressive perspective on how the Jedi could best regain the influence which they had lost for so long throughout the galaxy. To her way of thinking, it was taken from them by force and it was logical it should be reclaimed the same way.

Coming around the nose of the ship, Alex stopped when she saw the pilot bent over the droid Ronin was being brought to replace, holding hydro-spanner that any fool knows is too bulky for use on an astromech.

"Got a new R4 Unit for you, they heard that one is a bit fritzed. He's not new, persay, but he works atleast."

[Barton Henning]

Absorbed in the droid's open casing – or at least staring into it whilst his mind wandered elsewhere – Barton glanced up sharply at the sound of someone else speaking, and to him. “Right,” he said, the acknowledgement a reflex that was soon followed by a frown. Laying the spanner flat on the floor-grating, Barton stood up slowly. His mouth opened to speak but there was a delay before any words came out.

“...Alex?”

[Harlequin]

There was a delay from Alex too.

"...Henning?"

Her shock, however, wore off before his and she wound up and threw the punch before he knew what was coming, connecting nicely on that strong, fine jaw of his.

[Barton Henning]

The hit staggered Barton, more from shock than the strength of it. He frowned, though there wasn't a trace of anger in his eyes as he swung his gaze back to hers, unflinching.

“It's good to see you too.”

[Harlequin]

"Oh--good to see me is it?"

Heavy on the sarcasm.

"Glad to see Im still alive and made it here after being abandonded, are you?"

Of course, Alex doubted Henning would see their rift as him abandoning her, but more a case of her abandoning her own good sense. She had been convinced they could sabotage an Imperial supply freighter that was loading in their last port of call. It had been such an opportunity, and such a wasted chance. Barton had balked at the idea of destroying the civilian crew along with the vessel - necessary collateral damage when waging war against the Empire - and would not go along with the idea. Alex was unable to execute the plan alone and their disagreement on it had gotten so heated they had parted ways.

Alex hadn't really believed Barton would actually leave her planteside. She'd been wrong.

"You got some nerve to show up here, Henning. You decide which side your on yet?"

[Barton Henning]

That might have stung, if it hadn't been right on the mark. A decade sitting on the fence hadn't exactly endeared Barton to his comparatively gun-ho former class-mate. Finding him, only to find out that he wasn't quite the crusader she herself had become, must have been quite a blow. Henning's eyes drifted back to the malfunctioning 'droid, as a feeling of cold guilt crept into his gut.

“Look around you.. I'd say the answer was self-evident.”

[Harlequin]

Alex tsk'd.

"Typical Henning, confusing picking up spare parts with freedom fighting"


She didn't know why she took their differences in the Jedi cause so to heart, perhaps she'd been too ready to believe in heroes - and while Barton certainly looked the part, it had proven to be an illusion.

"Until you're ready to soldier up there, Doctor, I'd be careful about declaring such loyalties. Free-loaders and camp-jumpers we got plenty of. We dont need patronizers, too. I suggest you strap the droid in and keep movin."

[Barton Henning]

For a tense, silent moment Barton said nothing. He felt the weight of Alex's judgement pressed heavy on his shoulders, and heart. She was right. Would he have ever come to the Wheel if his hand hadn't been forced? Still, it had to mean something that he was sticking around. He had the Knightfall at his disposal and could have set off for the Outer Rim at the drop of a hat. Instead, here he was... and clearly being a whole lot of use to the Rebellion and the Jedi. Not.

“We can't all be heroes.”

[Harlequin]

"Hah!" A huge grin leapt to Alex's face, hadn't she just been thinking that?

Wait, hadn't she just been thinking that? The grin disolved and she levelled Barton with a hard look. Had he just been pulling some mind-reader mojo? Was he practicing his Jedi art despite what he'd have her believe?

Barton looked tired to Harlequin. Spirit weary. She relented a little - Hob would have been proud of her.

"Heroes are over-rated Henning, everyone knows that." She dropped her gaze and shuffled her feet awkwardly, "Geez, dont listen to me anyway. You do as your conscience dictates. Thats all a man can do"

The words were the right ones, but despite her honest effort, they were lacking in conviction. Cole believed in action being the Jedi voice and it just irked her that Barton didn't think the same way.

"The droid is a good one" she shrugged, failing to find something worthier to say.

[Barton Henning]

“You think?” Henning gave the astromech a dubious glance. “Seems like a bucket of bolts to me. Never did put much faith in droids.”

He gave the unit a pat on and shook his head. Folding his arms over his chest, he chanced meeting Alex's eyes. Every time he looked at her, it reminded him of what he – they – had once been. He saw Alex, Mu and himself as little more than children, over-sized robes trailing around their feet. The memory brought on a weak smile.

“How've you been?”

[Harlequin]

Alex shrugged, unwilling to meet his gaze.

"Been working on my lessons, trying to be a decent student.." She trailed off, knowing she hadn't answered the question he'd asked.

How had she been? Frustrated. Restless. Angry. Not very Jedi-like at all. They had all these 'star' fighter pilots around (in her mind she used finger-quotes for star) and all they were doing were sittin on their flight-suited butts doing big, fat nothing.

Why didn't they go blow something up? Why didn't they 'chute in someplace and deal the Empire a bloody nose and a kick in the crotch? She'd happily go with them. But no, nothing. Who the frack was in charge around this stupid Wheel place anyway? THAT"S how she's been.

"Things seem to be moving pretty slow..."

[Barton Henning]

Henning shrugged one shoulder. “Not much else to be expected. If this is all the fire-power they've got, taking out the Empire'd be like trying to cut down a wroshyr tree with a toothpick.”

The Wheel was amassing a good few ships, but it was a blip on the radar of the Imperial fleet. There were Outer Rim worlds who had more of an arsenal at their disposal. Word was that the Mon Cal had an armada to hand, but they weren't eager to throw it all at a single target.

“I'm doing what I can though. Got myself a freighter in the Support Services, shuttling supplies to the front-line.”

[Harlequin]

"Im not saying take on the entire Empire at once, but this hide and slowly grow approach just makes me choke"

Coal didn't care if they were small and insignificant. That was their whole advantage - do some quick, guerilla strikes, annoying and maybe not so effective in the beginning, but atleast it would be something. Even as she thought it, she knew she was being hippocritical by judging others. She was no where near established in her force ability and had so much to learn. Who was she to talk master strategies? Yet, her wheels were spinning and her mind would not find quiet in patient obedience. It was well known that her meditation practices were well below that of the average padawan.

"Im glad you've found a place to be useful" she said after a moment.

Alex obviously felt herself lacking such a niche.

"I cant wait until my Master sees fit to send me on a trial or mission.."

[Barton Henning]

It was hard to imagine the old lessons they'd learned, back in the temple, being delivered in the same way now. The state of the galaxy would not permit the existence of the Jedi as they had once been. He felt a niggling curiosity, the kind that part of him knew was a bad idea to indulge.

“What's your master like? What do they teach you?”

[Harlequin]

How does one describe Master Hob? Are there even words?

"Honestly? I dont know him as well as I'd like. Its not like the old days, Henning, where padawans and masters were practically joined at the hip." She grinned crookedly, "Mostly, he makes me angry when we're together anyway. He's capricious and I often want to hit him"

She turned a little introspective, "The code instructs Peace instead of Emotion, Serenity not Passion. Harmony. Ive always had trouble living up to these. Hob knows this."

She shrugged. Her journey was to be a long one, obviously.

"On the upside, though, I can do this -- " With the slightest lifting of the two forefingers of her left hand, Alex manipulated the force so the astromech rose in the air and swivelled upside down. A hint of variation in her hand movement and the droid began to gently revolve in the air like a stout, yet graceful, wheel.

"Note the control" she said, smiling, appreciating the smooth finese her practice had wrought. She had improved a great deal compared to her display of unbridled power that got them into so much trouble back at the Casino in Cloud City.

[Barton Henning]

It was remarkable how much Alex warmed, as the conversation turned to the matter of training. As she made a show of her abilities, Barton nodded in respect. “You're doing good.”

In his time as a Padawan, Henning had always found such techniques of control difficult to grasp. His focus when healing was near-unshakeable but when it came to telekinesis, the results were much more unpredictable and apt to backfire. Everyone had their talents and their flaws.

“What's his plan for the future? Does he want to rebuild the Order, like it used to be?”

[Harlequin]

"I dont think we can ever go back to the days of the Old Order - the galaxy is different, the Jedi are different. It is not enough to bring balance, we must tip the scales to our favor. Master Hob and I sometimes debate this matter of opinion."

Debate, good one Alex. As good a fancy as any, she supposed.

"Really, tell me - How many truly noble individuals do you know Henning? I know I havent met very many and frankly, if Im going into a fight I want someone with less scruples and more a will to take some back for ourselves."

[Barton Henning]

Henning didn't know many people at all, let alone many he would have called noble. The only people that came to mind were Ben and Lyanie, the pilot and mechanic aboard the ship he captained. They were simple people, and somehow that rang in tune with the idea of nobility for him, more so than any of the faded memories of Jedi that he carried in his memories.

“I was never much of a fighter,” he admitted, freely. “But my healing is coming along..”

[Harlequin]

"Thats nice"

It came out less complimentary than it was meant and Alex spoke quickly to amend.

"No, I mean it. You always were a gentler soul, healing makes sense for you"

She wondered how exactly he healed, anyway. Did he chant? Mix potions? Fighting was easy -- you took whatever was handy and made it a weapon. She doubted that worked in the reverse for making things better.

She posed him a question that she had been asking herself for a long, long time.

"Does it bring you peace, Henning?"

[Barton Henning]

“I was never much use with a lightsaber anyway,” he added, absently rubbing the back of his neck with one hand.

At her question, he tilted his head to one side.

“Peace.. no, I wouldn't say so – but it helps others. That's what we were always supposed to be aiming for, right?”

[Harlequin]

"I suppose"

Alex had yet to perfect the virtue of selflessness. Her main drive was less about helping others and more about clawing back the Universe from the oppressors..But he didn't need to hear about that.

"Thats why I always liked you, Henning. You got a good heart"

The look she gave him barely disguised that she liked alot more about him than just that. Damn, why did he get to her like he did? He was all wrong for her - they'd discovered that twice already now. Well, she had anyway. He was no doubt oblivious to her in all ways except as a major pain in the neck, just like back in the Temple days when they were growing up, and again when they'd tried to travel together for a short period of time looking for the Jedi.

Damn.

She always wound up right here, this same place, when it came to Barton Henning. Her wanting him in all the wrong ways, and he concerned with doing the right thing.

[Barton Henning]

There wasn't a lot Barton could think to say to that. Looking inward wasn't his favourite pastime, so instead he looked to Alex. Even with his small skill as an emotional empath, she'd always been easy to read. Then again, it seemed like a conscious decision, to wear her heart on her sleeve – or maybe her passion just wouldn't settle for simmering when it could boil over. He didn't hold it against her, though there was always a part of him that wanted to close up on instinct, to shut out any feeling of hers that might wash over him. Consciously, he forced himself to let go of that defence and tentatively expanded his field of awareness, his eyes flicking up to meet hers.

[Harlequin]

Aaaand, there it was. The killer look, where all bets were off and a girl had no choice but to fall headlong into it.

Henning had the best eyes. Kind, expressive, and they were looking right at her with as much wriggle room for avoidance as a dual barrel blaster. Coal leaned forward, touching her hand to his and doing her best to stop her voice from croaking with emotion.

"I gotta heart too, ya know Henning. Its buried way down, but I like to think its a good one as well"

[Barton Henning]

“I know.”

Henning nodded, making a nervous move to lift his hand but instead the tips of his fingers slid between hers. That heart she admired so much was beating faster than before, as much from that instant of contact as from his cautious brush with the Force.

“It isn't buried at all.. I can see it in everything you do,” he added, with a small smile.

[Harlequin]

This brought a bright smile from Alex who suddenly felt the world about her shrink and freeze-wrap itself around her to this one, lone, amazing moment in time. She could hardly believe that she was standing where she was - hand in hand with the man she'd only been able to fantasize about for the majority of her post-adolescent life - and he wasn't pulling away.

"Is that all you see, Henning?" Her desire for him to consider her much more than just a good person was heartbreaking in its naked need. "Cant you see me as something good for you? Someone you might need?" She leaned into him, tilting her head so her eyes could look into his, fully hoping he would incline his head to hers, anticipating - expecting even - the kiss that should, must come any moment. "Henning?" she prompted.