Our Lost Innocence

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

Kestos Minor was an Outer Rim planet, aligned with with the Alliance and a regular enough waypoint for the Dauntless. Dan's fleet had been there enough times for the locals to be familiar with those who made their way planetside. s'Il herself had only ever ventured forth a few times, as since most every time the fleet had stopped by it'd been for a short rest for Alliance members and she'd always used her downtime to be alone with Dan. But, those days were before her self-imposed exile to Cathar.

Now that she'd returned, the Lupine found herself falling once more into old habits - however it was through no fault of her own.

She was far enough along in her pregnancy that she simply wished to stay aboard the Dauntless. Her swollen belly was enough of a hindrance to her that she had no desire to exert herself more than she absolutely had to. She was mobile enough, but there was simply no drive to be found which could lead to anything other than the more desk-bound duties she'd taken up as Dan's counsel. Even her studies as his apprentice had become nothing more than verbal exercises.

With three and a half months left until the birth of hers and Dan's son, the Lupine knew that it was time to call upon Zem, to begin the splintering which she and her master had planned for the Jedi; a divide that would begin with her old master, Zem Vymes.

She had sent her letter four days previous, through courier. Unlike the normal means of transmitting messages, the Lupine favored the more personal avenues offered by the written word, penned in her own hand. It was another of her eccentricities that at times, was cumbersome to those not accustomed to her habits. But, she was set in her ways, and gave no explanation to her chosen messenger, other than to order him to place her letter in Zem Vymes' hands only. No others were to touch it; only the older Jedi.



http://i255.photobucket.com/albums/hh126/silancy/dearest-zem.jpg


She did not know that Zem had allowed Teagan to leave his charge with Arya Ravenwing; indeed, her communication with the older Jedi had been sparse and minimalist at best, as she'd always chosen to talk with her daughter when she did call them.

Her letter gave Zem no chance to return any word otherwise, to tell her that he no longer had the girl in his care. Only that she expected the both of them over Kestos Minor.


And now, pacing to and fro in an odd, stilted gait, s'Il wrung her hands in nervous anticipation at seeing her daughter once more. It was early in the morning hours of their fifth day in orbit, and the Lupine found herself unable to sleep any longer. She'd slipped from bed, leaving Dan's slumbering form behind so that she could shamble her way to and fro in the quiet of the front room.

[Zem Vymes]

Zem Vymes had arrived on Kestos Minor the day before. The crumpled note was still held in his robes, but it had taken him days to consider his response. For the last day, he had been deep in meditation over this most difficult choice.

Now he was ready, and somewhere high above, he sensed that she was too. Standing at the balcony of his temporary dwelling, he signalled the holocomm in his hand.

It was time that their destinies crossed again.

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

The trilling chirp of a holocomm sounded as a peel of thunder through the silence of her early morning thoughts, and pausing mid-step, s'Il snapped her head to its' source. She frowned at the offending communit as it sat atop the low coffee table. Slight irritation at what she initially thought to be one of the captain's early morning summons for Dan's presence was quickly replaced by a thoughtful look of bewilderment.

No, it was not the captain.

She let the unit beep a few more times, staring at it while slowly taking it up and making her way to Dan's desk.

From there, she linked it to the holoemitter.

When his features flared to life, the Lupine felt the worried lines in her face soften, and she gave a smile of relief. Yet, her confusion at his manner of contact was apparent as well. For now though she blinked back the beginnings of happy tears, absently wiping her eyes with slender, shaking fingers.

"Zem... " she whispered, quiet joy in her voice.

[Zem Vymes]

"Lok."

For a moment, he allowed a smile, though he imagined it was somehow more difficult to do so.

"It's been a long time. I'm planetside."

It was an unspoken invitation for her to come meet him. He didn't feel like taking his chances on the ship for obvious reasons.

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

The Lupine seemed to consider this, but only for a moment before nodding. The very thought of holding her daughter once more overrode any other errant musing on her part.

"Of course."

No doubt Teagan's absence was due to the early hour of Zem's call. What better surprise for the girl than to wake up to both mother and father sitting on the side of her bed? It warmed the Lupine's heart.

"We'll be down within an hour."

[Zem Vymes]

"Just you."

The smile faded somewhat from Zem's face.

"Whatever your business is with Dan, I just want to see you."

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

That gave her pause, and she stared quizzically at Zem for a short while. A puzzled grimace as she looked to the side, at the darkened doorway to the bedroom. For a moment she opened her mouth, but nothing came out and s'Il set her eye back to her old master.

"He's her father, Zem, and has just as much a right to be there for her as I do."

[Zem Vymes]

He could see there was no way to do this than to explain what she didn't yet know.

"Teagan isn't with me."

He wondered what her response to that would be.

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

The silence after those words was a palpable thing. It seemed an entity all its' own, and her expression as she stared at Zem slowly changed as she processed this new information. What had once been a relieved smile fell to be replaced by a deep, heart-wrenching realization. He spoke the truth - there was no way he'd play such a cruel joke on her. Teagan was indeed absent.

Had something happened? Had her daughter been hurt? Or worse yet, was she...

Panic suddenly reached its' clawed grip upon her, icy fingers of horror clenching over her very soul it seemed. The set of his thin-lipped mouth made her think the worst, and she remained unmoving. With on hand going to her throat, the Lupine let a suddenly ragged breath escape.

"Is she... please tell me she isn't... "

Unable to finish, s'Il's eye pleaded with him to tell her otherwise.

[Zem Vymes]

"She's safe and well, Lok."

Zem nodded, allaying her fears.

"Come and meet me. I want to talk to you, and I don't think a holochannel will do it proper justice."

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

Her entire frame sagged with the release of the sudden gnawing fear that had gripped her like some mad beast, and the Lupine found herself only able to acknowledge his request with a nod of her own. There was a troubled glint in her eye still however, at the fact that Teagan was not with Zem, but she would not deny him his request.

"I will see you in an hour's time then."

There was no need to ask him where they would meet; they would find each other easily. It was their nature. After all, they'd found each other after so many years removed.

With a pained smile, the Lupine dipped her head in respect while slowly rising to her feet.

"It is good to have you back."

[Zem Vymes]

"I've never left, Lok."

Zem's aged face managed a smile to better itself.

"I'll see you soon."

He punched the comm switch to kill the connection, and rose from his seat. Parting his Jedi robe, he ran a hand to the familiar metal cyllinder that rested at his belt. The force could grant his mind no ease, and the future was still unwritten. Only one of them had left, though.

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

With the connection closed, s'Il stood for a long moment to collect her thoughts. She felt a sense of uncertainty reign in the wake of Zem's words - that Teagan was not with him. And even though her daughter was alive and well, the elder Lupine still felt a dull ache in her inner most being. It was a feeling worse than any she'd ever felt - as thought she'd suddenly become lost. Worse than when her own father had been killed; worse than when she'd found his broken body in their home. Then, she had been so young - the sight of his lifeless form had ben burned into her young mind for the rest of her days. Was it possible that something could surpass the heartbreak of that moment?

Yes.

She had been waiting for this day for so long, to see her baby girl and hold her once more. To see her with Dan and to simply hear the sound of her voice.

None of that would come to pass on this day however, and s'Il bowed her head in steadily spreading sorrow.

With a hand over her midsection, she carefully padded her way once more into the bedroom. She stopped by the side of the bed Dan still occupied, taking a moment to make sure the bedside chair was still present before cautiously lowering herself down to sit upon it. She watched her master for only a moment before speaking softly to him.

"Zem is here."

[General Dan]

His eyes opened slowly as he woke to her words.

"Yes, I know."

He looked at her as he sat up.

"And Teagan is not with him."

He said nothing further of it, instead letting his apprentice and lover speak her mind on the matter at hand.

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

Beneath his gaze, she found herself unable to match his eyes, and the Lupine let her head fall to look at her hands as they rested - one in her lap and the other across the top of her belly. For a long while she said nothing as the silence between the two spoke volumes more than she could have with any sort of words. At the center of her being she suspected that yes, something such as this would happen; that Zem would wish to speak with her alone. But it was still a difficult task to undergo. Not because of what she and her master intended, but rather because their daughter was still separated from them, and would be for who knew how much longer.

Finally, s'Il lifted her eyes up to meet his own, and she pulled in a long breath to calm herself. She let peace descend upon her, taking comfort in how it permeated her every pore, every fiber of her being. What had to be done was inevitable. But to take on this task without her family whole cut deeper than any blade ever could.

"I am paying the price of my disobedience on Schwartzweld in a way that your punishment could never overcome," she admitted in a small voice, laced with shame.

[General Dan]

"At the root of your grief lies Zem Vymes. He knows where our daughter is. He knows what we are."

He shook his head slowly.

"He will give up his secrets and then he will die."

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

"Surely he cannot know. Only suspect."

The finality and assured tone of his voice was enough to bolster her spirits, and s'Il found herself sitting up a little straighter in the chair, her fingers curling into the fabric of her thin silk robe.

"He asks that I meet him alone."

[General Dan]

Dan nodded.

"Search your feelings, and do what you must. No one is a better judge of Zem Vymes than you."

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

A nod, and the Lupine pushed herself up to her feet. She would do as her master ordered, and conduct herself appropriately.

"I will bring him back with me."

His eyes on her she could feel as she moved about the room, dressing herself with a steadiness that lent credence to her resolve. Yes, she would return with Zem, and things would be set right.

Her clothes were loose to accommodate the new life steadily growing within her, and she fussed with her expanding waistline for a few minutes before settling on comfort over form. She worked quietly, occasionally sending glances back to her master - he still watched her without a sound. Her cream-colored Jedi robes were the last to fall over her shoulders. There was an air of calm radiated from her now, and with a last few motions to satisfy herself that she was presentable, the Lupine sidled her way close to where Dan still sat on the bed.

"We will return, I promise you. I'll make sure that our daughter will be with us once more, and your rift within the Jedi will be too great to ever mend."

She ran a hand over the contours of his face, and smiled serenely.

"I remain yours," she whispered in reassurance, "... now and forever."

[General Dan]

"I know you are."

He smiled at her subservience.

"Now, go on. Best not to keep Mr. Vymes waiting for long. I'm sure he has his reasons for wanting to see you again. Just don't forget who you are."

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

One last parting smile, and she was gone. Dan knew as well as she did that there was no chance for her to lose sight of who she was now. He had so carefully crafted her into what she was now - not simply since the revelation, but since the moment they'd met. His subtle hand had been in all she did no matter how minimal; guiding, helping, providing for her what she needed and at times, what she wanted. Though whereas before she'd never known it, now it was all too clear to her, and following their time on Schwartzweld she'd come to welcome his sometimes heavy tutelage. At times, she even found herself enjoying it.


As the shuttle ferried her to the planet, s'Il felt nothing but calm; she drew peace from the Force. A small part of her worried for Teagan, but the Force would watch over her and would soon reunite mother, father, daughter, and... son... together once more They would be a family undivided, and that thought made her lean back in content, hands resting over her belly. The short hop to the planet lasted no more than ten minutes, and it wasn't long before the Lupine was unfastening her crash harness.

They'd landed at a starport that sat on the outer edge of the city; a quaint and well-used port that she knew Zem would be waiting for her in.

s'Il slowly made her way down the boarding ramp, lifting a hand up to shield her eyes from the sun's bright onslaught while scanning the tarmac for any sign of Zem. Her boots hit the ground, and she paused momentarily, breathing in deeply of the fresh air and listening as the shuttle began its' post-flight stand-by procedures. Her hair, left to fall over her shoulders, was caught by the wind to fall across her face, and she brushed it away with a slightly annoyed hrmph.

She heard a voice call her name from the shuttle's hatchway, and stopped her search to look back up at the captain who trotted down to confer with her quietly. He wished to know the duration of her stay, and whether or not he should simply shut down his craft.

Her brow furrowed at that, and s'Il nibbled at her lower lip in thought. Unsure, she gave him a helpless shrug, and he turned with an understanding nod to once more head into the ship. He would await her further orders then.

The Lupine cast her gaze once more to the terminal, and staring only a moment longer, began the short trek that would lead her inside.

[Zem Vymes]

Kestos Prime was one of the handful of planets in the galaxy in which one could still wear a Jedi's robes openly, and Zem did exactly that. A light wind on the tarmac rippled the outer fabric slightly as he waited for her to approach.

"It's been a long time, Lok."

His hands were clasped in front of him as he looked at his former padawan - his former lover's midsection.

"I didn't realise it had been that long."

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

An almost bashful smile was given to him, and s'Il sent him a reassuring smile.

"It has not been so long. Lupines carry for only seven months, and I am halfway through that."

The sight of him warmed her heart, and despite the fact that Teagan was not there she still took joy from his familiar presence. It was comforting. Her own Jedi robes as subject to the winds as his were, though while his were the more traditional brown, hers were instead the cream colored white that she'd come to prefer.

On instinct she reached out to his hands.

"I've missed you."

[Zem Vymes]

"I've missed you too."

He took hold of her hands. There was affection still there, but like seemingly everything, it was made different irrevocably by time and circumstance.

"I'm not the only one, either."

He didn't have to explain any more than that. She had friends still among the Jedi, and of course there was Teagan.

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

A knowing grin played across her features, and s'Il nodded with respect.

"And Teagan? You said she was safe, but how is she? And where is she? Is she healthy? She mentioned a boy in one of her letters, and Dan said the two had called him, but he never told me why."

She paused only to take a breath.

"Please tell me that she is at least happy."

There was life in her face as she stood before him, unable to take her eye from his gaze. His gentle, kind, and always caring gaze.

[Zem Vymes]

"Teagan is healthy and happy, well, as happy as can be with our situation."

Vymes licked at his lips slightly.

"We moved her to a secure place. I'm not sure how much news of the Jedi reaches you, but our enclave has been threatened. I took steps to keep her safe.

Right now, the Jedi are facing uncertain times. I'm here in part in hope that you might still understand what that means."

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

Of course she still understood. They all faced such a time.

A release of pent-up breath, and the Lupine lowered her gaze to the tarmac. She could tell just by the sound of his voice that he'd been vastly affected by her behavior of Schwartzweld, and it pained her to see him so. To hear the firm overtones in his words. As he had hoped for her understanding, so too did she hope for his. She needed it; for all the two had been and still were to each other, she needed him to understand.

"I have no excuse for my behavior in the past," her own voice started quietly as she still stared down.

"Perhaps the change was too sudden for me, no matter how badly I wanted it. I'd been running for so long that there was no hope to finally stop, and when I tried, my worries only became greater.

"Zem, I - "

She stopped then, lifting her eye up to his as her grip on his hands tightened momentarily.

" ... something happened, before you arrived. It terrified me, and when I sent you and Teagan away I thought I was doing the right thing."

[Zem Vymes]

"Talk to me!"

Zem pleaded with his long-time friend and confidant, squeezing her hands for emphasis.

"Lok I can feel the conflict in you. Let it go. Just tell me what happened."

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

How to even begin?

She felt herself drawn to him, his words causing her features to distort in pained remembrance of that day on Schwartzweld. That horrid day.

As the gentle breeze brushed across the tarmac, it caused ripples to cascade down the length of both Jedi's robes, making the sight of their lone forms out in the open one of a strange, tranquil beauty. They stood, the two of them, lost to the outside world and focused only on one another.

"I did not mean for it to happen," she finally began, her voice low and suddenly hoarse.

"It was two days before you arrived; a man had followed us home, to Schwartzweld. I knew him, and had been contacted by him while we were still trying to find the Urns. He worked for Intel, and had said he wanted me to do a job for him when we were done."

For a brief moment she looked past Zem, letting her memories take her back to Byl Laprovik.

"His name is Byl Laprovik; he wanted me to carry out an assassination."

At that last word she felt Zem stiffen, but her hold on his hands remained strong in reassurance that no, she did not do as the Rebel had asked.

"I refused."

[Zem Vymes]

"An assassination?"

Zem's brow furrowed. What in the force was this? Rebel Intelligence was surely not foolish enough to try and use a Jedi Knight as some sort of killing asset.

"On who?"

He didn't know the person she was talking about, but if she said he was with Intel, then there was a possibility this could have enormous ramifications.

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

She shook her head.

"It is unimportant. What happened after however," she trailed off, finding herself lost in the moment.

"He confronted me on Schwartzweld, and when I turned him away once more, he thought to approach from a different, far more personal angle."

Now she looked away, biting her lower lip.

"He attacked Dan."

Her eyes closed in shame.

"And I reacted... badly."

[Zem Vymes]

Zem could sense what was coming next. Indeed he could feel it creeping into the pit of his stomach, nauseating him.

"You touched the dark side?"

Zem closed his eyes.

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

"I wrestle with it still, the memory of seeing that gun at Dan's head, and then the anger."

Her eyes opened and she once again looked up to him, silently begging him to not turn away.

"After it happened I knew then that it would only be a matter of time before he found me - I sent Teagan with you because I thought it best. I've made so many mistakes in my life, but none so terrible as that day. I've been close to the darkness before, but never touched it like that. It burned, and I brought shame to my House for doing such a thing. Now all I can do is hope my future actions will atone for my transgression.

"Please. Forgive me."

[Zem Vymes]

"Your destiny might be written already, but it's your choice to follow it. You'll never have to ask my forgiveness."

Still, something was gnawing at him.

"You said that this Rebel agent attacked Dan?"

Why would a field operative in Intel attack a Rebel General?

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

"He did."

An affirming nod.

"He made a show of trying to buy Dan's command codes, and when he was refused, he attacked."

She gave him an almost helpless shrug.

"I doubt that was any more than an excuse to try and coerce me into helping him."

s'Il frowned, though it was not an expression of unhappiness, more rather one of someone trying to understand.

"The Alliance is not what it used to be; it's not like when the three of us skipped about from planet to planet. It's becoming its' own entity."

[Zem Vymes]

"This is a troubling development. What happened to the agent?"

Zem still had a gnawing feeling inside that something wasn't as it seemed. There was an intangible at work here, and it all seemed wrong.

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

She released his hands, folding them together in the wide sleeves of her outer robe.

"I did not kill him, if that is what you wish to know. I sent him away the next morning."

Pursing her lips, s'Il blinked.

"Dan remembers little - Laprovik shot him in his side; it was a glancing wound, but damaging enough. He knows what I did, but only because I told him, and he's been considerate to not pry too much."

Her jaw set, and the Lupine looked up at Zem with steel resolve.

"I've come to terms with my actions in my own way. What I did cannot be undone, but I've learned from it and continue on."

[Zem Vymes]

"You sent him away?"

None of this made sense to him. This was a grievous threat to the Alliance, out in the open and plain as day. Mercy aside, nobody would reasonably let a threat that serious pass unchecked. Lok had either been wildly reckless, or there was less than truth involved.

"Why?"

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

"What else could I have done?"

She gave a sigh.

"If the Alliance has aims to use the Jedi as assassins, it must be dealt with as discreetly as possible. Dan and I have been working to find who is responsible, but it is a delicate situation and we have been treading carefully.

"We cannot be allow ourselves to be turned upon as we were during the Clone Wars."

[Zem Vymes]

"Do you know where he is now?"

There was a chance she was letting him lead them back to his taskmasters, but this seemed farfetched. An intelligence agent, now quite spooked, wasn't likely to go anywhere they figured they would be followed. Everything he knew about these things, and indeed everything he knew about Lok said that this wasn't right.

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

At that she gave a distinctive frown, her eye tracking away slightly.

"He disappeared; not even his own people know where he's gone. Which makes things more difficult tenfold."

Another long breath, and the Lupine lifted a hand to massage at her temple, as if to alleviate some growing pain.

"I need your help, Zem. Diplomacy is your forte, not mine. Come back with me, please. Between the three of us we can do more to untangle this whole thing."

Taking her hand from her head, she rested it on his arm, her eye silently pleading with him.

"Please."

[Zem Vymes]

Zem gave her a pained expression, and averted his eyes.

"My place is with the Jedi."

He shook his head.

"Yours is too."

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

Her pleading look transformed into one of confusion, and s'Il slowly let her hand fall away.

"It's always been as such," she offered in a whispered voice.

He'd looked away, and the Lupine found herself shifting to the side so that she could once more meet his eyes. They stood for quiet minutes before she lifted her arms up to encircle her expanded girth, her movements slow and cautious. Her voice, still a whisper, now conveyed hurt at what she suspected he was implying.

"Are you asking that I leave Dan... that I take his son from him... ?"

[Zem Vymes]

"I think you need to reaffirm yourself. You left with Dan to find shelter from danger and uncertainty, and you've ended up touching the Dark Side."

The words on his tongue made him sick at his stomach, and he looked at her with a look of urgency.

"I don't know what the cause was. Whether it was fear of loss or something else, but we've all seen how that path ends. This isn't something to trifle with. I've seen strong people brush against the darkness and it destroyed them.

If you value my friendship...if you love your family...you'll hear me out."

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

She bowed her head, the muscles of her jaw clenching as she digested his words. Her fingers curled inward over her belly to grip handfuls of her robe, but beyond that simple act she did nothing.

A deep breath was drawn in before being released, and her eyes closed tightly.

"I'm listening," she finally ventured.

[Zem Vymes]

"Come with me to the Jedi Enclave. Let's meditate and find closure to this before it's too late. Help us find this rogue agent, and we can save the Alliance as well as yourself.

It doesn't have to be like it was with Tam."

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

Now she did look up, meeting his eyes with disbelief in her voice.

"You speak as though I've fallen... "

[Zem Vymes]

"I think you're closer to the edge than you realize."

The ache in his heart as he spoke was beginning to make itself clear.

"For all of your time fleeing the Man in Black, the unthinkable happened to you with him nowhere around."

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

For a while longer she watched him, blinking slowly.

"This is what you truly believe?"

His silence was answer enough, and the Lupine gave an equally silent nod in understanding. She turned away from him, and her hands went from her belly to clasp together within the confines of her robes.

"Come. You can tell Dan then."

[Zem Vymes]

"Tell him yourself."

Zem put his hands down at his sides.

"This isn't imposition. I'm not your master anymore, and I'm not going to belittle everything we are by giving you an empty order you either refuse or follow with resentment."

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

She stopped, halting in mid-step. She seemed to consider his words, and her shoulders sagged.

"At least travel with me; be the friend that you say you are and stand at my side."

[Zem Vymes]

"I'll always be your friend."

He slowly shook his head.

"But I can't go back with you."

[Darth Acera]

Her back still to him, the Lupine ticked her head to the side. But, it was a movement that conveyed a wash of pent-up and seething anger. She turned then, staring at Zem with an eye that was unmasked and allowed her raw emotion to spill forth without restraint.

A breath through clenched teeth.

"We three began this together. It is time we finished it together. Come."

[Zem Vymes]

What he could feel only as an echo before was utterly palpable now. The blood drained from Zem's face.

"You didn't avoid the Man in Black at all, did you?"

We three.

He was dumbfounded.

[Darth Acera]

She seemed to stand taller, to pull herself up both in the physical realm and that of the ethereal. Her presence in the Force was so utterly changed from what he'd known; it was now a roiling, furious entity that twisted the air around them and gave no quarter. She stared at him, eyes narrowing in contempt.

Yet, behind those hate-filled eyes was grief, and as her master had said, the root of it all was Zem Vymes.

"Avoid?" Venom laced words shot from her mouth like enraged tendrils to wrap around him.

"How could I continue to do such a thing when he was the one to rebuild me -"

She took a step toward him.

"- to make me whole from the mess you left of me when you ran away?"

[Zem Vymes]

He had no defense at her condemnation of his past. There was never one to give.

"Make you whole?"

He worked to bury his grief at her falling, and to try and somehow rectify the tragedy unfolding before his eyes.

"Listen to yourself! For whatever my transgressions were, I taught you to resist the Dark Side. You're becoming everything you spent your entire life to defend against!"

[Darth Acera]

Her head angled down, but her gaze remained locked on his, and her voice held an amused tone.

"I am, aren't I."

s'Il huffed a breath through her nose.

"But after all that he's done to me - after his lies and trickery and deceit - even despite my constant refusals, at least now I know that he won't abandon me... "

Lips curling back in a cruel sneer, the Lupine spoke her last words, knowing that they would cut to the core of it all.

"... or our children."

[Zem Vymes]

"You know? The man you've known has been a lie for decades, and you trust him? A Sith Lord cares for one thing, one thing only!

You are betraying the Jedi, your friends, and even your daughter. Don't you see what's happening here? It's happening all over again!"

[Darth Acera]

The mention of her daughter caused her to inwardly cringe, and s'Il glared at him, the root of her grief, with sudden and unbridled hate.

"My daughter," she whispered.

Whether it was the wind or a subtle shift of her posture, her new sabre, its' jointed hilt clipped to her belt, was exposed. She did not draw on him, instead letting him see that she'd not come unprepared for any possible outcome despite her condition. s'Il raised her voice to a hoarse growl.

"Where is my daughter."

[Zem Vymes]

Zem stood firm. So it had come to this after all.

"She's safe from you."

He would have time to mourn his friend later. What he did now was for Teagan's sake.

[Darth Acera]

"Tell me where she is."

Another step closer, and s'Il rested a hand on her sabre. Her breathing came quickly, and her teeth ground together as she hissed out once more.

"You've no right to her; she's mine."

[Zem Vymes]

"I won't let her be twisted by whatever evil has corrupted you, Lok."

Zem shook his head and bladed his body so that the side that favored his lightsaber was away from her.

"There's a way to see her again, and you know that path."

[Darth Acera]

"My name is Acera."

Her sabre hilt was in her hand without thought, its' pale yellow blade springing to life in the same instant. She held it in a loose grip, the tip pointed low and to the side.

"And there's no dust about to hide yourself within, old friend."

It was an acid reply, and the answer to his offered 'path'.

[Zem Vymes]

"You are willing to let your hatred endanger your unborn child?"

Zem's saber snap-hissed to life, the blue blade mostly obscured from her view at his far side.

[Darth Acera]

"He is strong, like his father."

She closed the already small distance between them, wondering just how close he would allow her to come. In her own perverse way she was taunting him, daring him to strike first.

[Zem Vymes]

Zem didn't close to engage, rather he paced around her and kept his distance.

"I'm not going to fight you Lok. You're going to have to face yourself."

[Darth Acera]

Pausing, the Lupine turned on her heel, mindful to watch him warily as he circled her. Her blade still remained angled downward, and she gave a snarl.

Her thoughts spread into the air around them, invisible constructs of all the pain she'd experienced throughout her years, crawling outward before curling in to grasp at Zem and pull him toward the center of their origin. A minor tug at first, each step the older Jedi took strengthened her hold until it was all but impossible to resist.

Toward s'Il.

[Zem Vymes]

Zem felt the inexorable pull as he circled, and at the last moment, he leapt with the force. He used Acera's pull against her, and touched down on the other side of her, this time farther away than before.

"You've become a tool of the Man in Black, and an agent of the Dark Side. Turn away from it!"

[Darth Acera]

Wheeling about, she faced him once more - yet with a different face; a younger face. A face marred by fresh burns. It was an injury that he'd seen before, following that disastrous confrontation with Decepis on Malastare which had cost her an eye.

"If that is what I am," she barked, "... then it is because of your own self."

Angling her head so that the ugly burn score was plain to see, Acera pointed an accusing finger at him.

"You didn't stop him! You didn't stop him and his mark upon me is your failure!"

[Zem Vymes]

Her words stung him, but he still did not fight her. Instead, he deactivated his saber.

"We were both deceived, but it isn't too late. I'm here before you. My hand is open!"

[Darth Acera]

His refusal to fight was bewildering.

"You should have always been here for me."

But she seemed to consider his words, and her outstretched hand twisted, fingers opening up in a silent call for him to take her hand.

[Zem Vymes]

"I am here now."

Zem slowly approached her, his hand reached out to her as a beckoning to abandon this madness.

[Darth Acera]

She waited patiently as he closed the distance, thumbing her own sabre off and once more clipping it to her belt while keeping her eye locked with his. The facade of her fresh injury melted away to its' more recognizable form, and her features fell.

After what seemed an eternity she felt the tips of his fingers, and then his large hand engulfed hers. It was worn by hard years, but still familiar.Warm and comforting, s'Il gripped it tightly for fear that he would pull away.

She lifted her head up to match his gaze, and blinked slowly.

"Hold me," she whispered.

[Zem Vymes]

He put his own saber away and eased forward, embracing his misguided friend.

"I'm here Lok, I'm here."

[Darth Acera]

Burying her face in his chest, the Lupine felt his arms go around her. She pressed against him as if doing so would allow her to melt into his body.

Her free hand however grasped at the handle of a familiar curved dagger tucked into the underside of her belt, and without warning she acted. The blade left its' sheath without a noise moments before she buried it into the flesh of his side.

It was no killing strike, as she knew enough to avoid any major organs; rather, it was perfectly calculated to render him incapacitated.

Her embrace remained like an iron grip as she held him close.

For good measure, Acera pushed the blade in further until the hilt was pressed against his skin.

[Zem Vymes]

The air left Zem's mouth in a ragged gasp as he looked at her, taking in her most recent bitter betrayal.

[Darth Acera]

Calling upon the Dark to give her strength, Acera supported him as his strength began to seep. Ever mindful and cautious, she kept their bodies close while laying siege to his very mind.

"We are going to my master," she hissed in his ear as he seemed to sag further into her embrace, "... and you are going to tell him where his daughter is."

[Zem Vymes]

Zem's eyes slowly closed as he slowed his metabolism slightly to curb the bleeding. In an instant, he opened his eyes again.

Acera was thrown back with a sudden force. No longer supported, Zem dropped to his knees, fishing out the dagger from his side as the other hand shakily grabbed at his lightsaber.

[Darth Acera]

Natural abilities, aided by the Force, allowed the Lupine to land on her feet, but it was an unsteady landing and she stumbled back a few steps. Even as she regained solid footing she was striding toward him once more, and lifting an outstretched hand Acera called out silently to his sabre, unwilling to allow him the chance to use it.

Her fingers hooked like talons, she wrenched it from his shaky grip.

[Zem Vymes]

Overconfidence is the weakness of the Sith. Zem redoubled his efforts, and in an instant, his former student's own lightsaber was stolen from her belt.

The blade ignited, Zem rose to his feet with a determined grimace.

[Darth Acera]

The heft of his familiar hilt smacked into her palm, igniting in the same instant. The blue wash of the blade cast on odd glow over her form, and with a maddened glare she watched him. The normal blue of her eye slowly began to fade into an all too well known yellow - diseased and full rage.

Closer she came, hefting the sabre to one side in a one-handed grip.

Still, through it all, Acera pushed against his mind's defenses, seeking to supplement the wound in his side with her invisible barrage. Thoughts of betrayal, abandonment, loneliness, and heartbreak. She had loved him, and he'd forsaken her love. Fled. Her trust in him had been absolute and unflinching; he'd been her beacon in those years following the Purge, and she had saught shelter in his care... his kindness... and his love.

Until he left. Until he ran from it all. The nights spent alone, weeping over his loss and tearfully begging the Force to bring him back.

Each emotion that she had felt in those long months was hurled accusingly at him, offering no respite.

[Zem Vymes]

He was no longer fighting for himself, or for Lok. It was too clear to him that she was now gone, taken forever by the Dark Side. Despite the crushing guilt he felt at her current situation, he had to resolve himself to fight for Teagan. Now, she was in danger.

He brought the Sith's lightsaber forward as he squared himself.

"I will not go with you Darth. Teagan will be protected. You'll have to destroy me."

[Darth Acera]

The blue blade made a tight spin before she met the yellow of her own sabre in a jarring blow.

"It is not my task to destroy you," was her ominous reply, and with a controlled lunge she moved in to his injured side.

[Zem Vymes]

Zem spun around to counter her advance, forcing her to defend low as he pressed with a backhanded chop.

"Then your options are to return to your Dark Lord empty handed, or not at all."

[Darth Acera]

Allowing him to gain ground, the Lupine blocked his strike. In the moment immediately after, she sent her blade upwards to where his hand gripped the hilt, pulling back at the last moment to swing around in a sharp slash.

"Unacceptable."

And as if to emphasize the word, she lashed out with the Force to draw out the pain of his stab wound.

[Zem Vymes]

He winced and faltered, bringing the blade around just in time to catch her strike. Redoubling his energy he pushed back, vaulting over her in a force jump as he traced downwards with his lightsaber, scoring her across her shoulder as he landed behind. Not wasting any time, he swiped at the back of her legs.

[Darth Acera]

An explosion of anger rippled outward at the feeling of her flesh being burned, and her staggered steps forward spared her legs from his second swing. Acera wheeled about to fling an arm at him, barking an unintelligible order to the air in front of her. Her presence in the Force swelled with every terrible feeling battling for control within her mind, and she called upon the strength such emotions gave her.

As if he were nothing but an errant piece of paper caught by the passing breeze, Zem was hurled away with wild ferocity.

[Zem Vymes]

Zem tumbled backward, rolling on the ground until he came to a halt. He quickly brought himself back up to his feet, lightsaber in one hand ready for Acera, and his other hand at his wounded side.

[Darth Acera]

A feral grin, and the Lupine felt herself sink into the despair around her, pulling in the twisted, tumultuous vines of the Dark Side. A malignant gleam in her yellow eye, and Acera slowly started for him again.

With one hand wrapped protectively around her belly, she let her other fairly drag the sabre she held, scoring the tarmac an ugly black where the tip of the blade came into contact. Her mind was like a savage beast, whipping outward to deliver a barrage of hurtful, wordless accusations against him, and without thinking she dug deeper, pulling from not only her essence, but that of the life in her womb.

Closer she came to him.

She swept the blue sabre before her like some toy, oblivious through her hatred to the unspoken cries of her unborn son.

[Zem Vymes]

Zem stood ready, assailed as he was by her torment. Just as she reached him he charged himself, and delivered a heavy overhanded cleave as they met. Lightsaber to lightsaber, their eyes met. His grim and determined, hers wild and mad.

Zem withdrew, striking again from another angle with broad attacks, locking s'Il's blade away from her long enough to bring a bare fist around and smash into her good eye.

[Darth Acera]

Stars exploded into her vision, and she cried out while staggering to the side. Caught by surprise, the Lupine mentally recoiled at the strike, a hand going up to the side of her face as if the act would alleviate her pain and sudden disorientation. Of course it did not.

She sputtered and coughed, sweeping back away from him.

She was far from blind however, and the sadistic grin she wore as she lifted her head was testament enough to that fact. She saw him in vivid colors, awash in the motions and eddies of the Force.

Muscles bunching, the Lupine charged him once more, and while her mass and weight were less than his own, she supplemented her physical failings with the Force.

[Zem Vymes]

Zem tucked and rolled to the side, kicking out to turn Acera's momentum against her.

He sprung back to his feet, flipping the hilt of his saber around as he thrust it behind him into a backstab.

[Darth Acera]

His strike was swatted away as Acera moved fluidly. She seemed to dance around the yellow blade, darting out of its' reach with precision in her movements. For all of her madness she was nothing if not calculating. Her attacks came in quick succession to strike like a thousand cuts.

The two locked blades, and s'Il angled her head upwards before snarling at him.

"Give me back my little girl!"

[Zem Vymes]

"There's a way back to her and you know what it is!"

Zem coiled up and pressed her forward, matching his former student's speed with his power. Broad and wide strikes pushed her back, lest he be overwhelmed.

Eventually the two fighters moved toward the shuttlecraft that was waiting for Acera. Zem locked sabers once again.

[Darth Acera]

And again her voice rose over the crackling of the two blades pushed together.

"She's not yours... she could have been if you'd stayed, but you didn't. He did... "

She strained against his greater strength, calling on her reserves. Fatigue nipped at the edges of her endurance however, gaining a stronger hold due to her body's redistribution of what normally would have been solely hers, now shared with the son she carried.

She pressed her body against his. She could feel the residual heat of their sabres as well as his breath upon her face.

"This child, and Teagan, could have been YOURS!!"

[Zem Vymes]

"And you would rather give them both up to him? He'll use them and discard them, just like he'll do to you!"

Zem stepped back and pressed down, wrenching s'Il's saber down and exposing her middle. Instead of driving his opening home, he swung again smashing against her blade and sending the weapon wrenching away from her grasp. A force push shoved her back, where she hit hard against the shuttle's hull, and fell to the ground.

[Darth Acera]

She cried out at the impact, curling around her tender midsection to protect the life within.

An almost deranged stare was then sent upwards to him as he stood over her, and the Lupine felt her body lose its' hold on the Force. She flung her head back, as if the act would grant her more power.

It didn't.

She pleaded, begged for more. She let out a sudden, choked sob as her mind stretched past the boundaries of the planet and upwards into space. She could fell her master, and latched on to his consciousness in utter desperation.

Acera disregarded her closest friend, now her adversary, clinging to Dan and imploring him for strength, for him to protect her.

To protect their son.

[Zem Vymes]

She lay on her back, and Zem stepped a few paces over to retrieve his lightsaber.

"What should I do with you?"

It was a question he was asking himself as much as he was asking her.

[Darth Acera]

Why would he not answer?

She let out a choked sob while levering herself up, and still mindful to wrap an arm around her girth, the Lupine edged herself away from Zem and toward the boarding ramp.

There was no fight left within her, and her instincts told her only to flee.

[Zem Vymes]

For an instant, he considered trying to stop her. Pulling her back and hauling her into captivity for the Jedi to deal with as they saw fit. Or worse, putting his blade through her and ending the life of an agent of evil.

In the end, he did neither.

"Goodbye, my friend."

It came out at nearly a whisper as he turned to limp away.

[Darth Acera]

With a gasping breath the Lupine clenched her middle tightly as a wave of sudden, unexpected pain flared through her. She coughed, holding herself tenderly as each rise of pain brought a greater degree of nausea. She felt her insides rebel against her, cave inwards. She felt tiny hands reach out to her, only to be pulled away.

In disoriented panic, Acera threw her head back and screamed.

[Zem Vymes]

Zem turned back momentarily at her agonized wail, and his face contorted with barely-controlled grief and despair.

Now it was out in the open. Loklorien s'Ilancy was an agent of evil, forever now Darth Acera. General Dan was the missing Sith Master, the notorious Man in Black who had plagued them since the beginning. Trusting the Rebel Alliance itself was now a question with no sure answer, and Zem knew that he would fast be a wanted man. He had to tell the Jedi of this tragedy. They were barely on their feet again. Surviving a betrayal of this magnitude would be difficult.

[Darth Acera]

Her cry died down to a whimper, and she sobbed at the horrid realization coursing through her. Overcome, Acera panted heavily as she leaned back. She closed her eyes tightly, contorting her body inward.

It was coming undone - all of it. She had poured herself into the task her master her given her, and failed. Worse even...

The thought was swept away with a fresh wave of pain, and she felt as hot tears burned down her cheeks.


Her salvation came in the form of the shuttle's captain.

He seen the altercation from inside his ship, mistakenly thinking that the General's counsel had been attacked by her fellow Jedi. It was an act that he responded to by relaying a message to the Dauntless before taking matters into his own hands.

He had watched, out of sight at the top of the ramp, but until now he'd not been given a opening. With his charge bested, he carefully lined the sights of his blaster, training his aim upon the Jedi, Zem Vymes.

It was as Vymes looked back that the stun blast lanced outward.

It struck the Jedi square in the chest...

[Zem Vymes]

Too late to dodge and impossible to block, the stun blast hit Zem square in the chest, it's power working swiftly over his central nervous system.

Dropping to his knees, the Jedi lost conciousness as he fell forward.

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

To the pilot's credit, he moved quickly. Though not as seasoned as many of the others aboard the Dauntless, he still worked fast to drag Zem's unconscious form into the shuttle, making sure the Jedi was bound and secured in one of the rear benches along the bulkhead. Moving s'Il herself proved far easier thanks to her slight bulk, despite even the child she carried. She was carefully placed upon the deck of the small bridge, her body rolling to the side as she curled inward, arms wrapping around her midsection.

For her, the return trip to the Dauntless was a muddled affair, defined only by the agony washing over her. She wept, cursing Zem and the Bloodline, and every so often called for Dan. Her voice was almost hoarse, her eyes bloodshot. She pulled herself inward to cradle the fading essence of her son close, drawing him into the folds of her own protective consciousness in a desperation.

Over her cries, the pilot's own frantic voice could be heard as he maintained a constant contact with the flight deck, calling for security and medical teams both. There was no questioning the dire overtones in his voice, and as the shuttle approached the familiar hulk of the Dauntless, he could make out small outlines of assembled personal in the hangar, waiting for his arrival.

[General Dan]

Dan stood at the forefront of the assembled group as the shuttle touched down. The gangplank lowered, and the medics immediately surged ahead, with Dan hot on their heels.

He could feel the anguish in his lover and apprentice, and it lit a fire inside of him.

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

There were hands on her, moving over her body and gently pulling her up. She felt drained, spent from not only the battle against Zem, but from the mental strain of keeping her unborn son from being lost.

She opened her eyes as strong arms lifted her form, gasping as another unrelenting crescendo of pain washed over her. She saw Dan among the sea of faces, and reaching an arm out to him the Lupine begged with a wild eye for strength. She struggled only momentarily before falling still once more, her breathing rapid and her eyes wide.

Help my baby...

[General Dan]

Dan grabbed a medic by the collar.

"Whatever you do, save my son! Do it!"

He pushed the man back toward s'Il's prone body, which was now on a repulsor stretcher. He himself stood at a distance, his feelings reaching deep inside s'Il's belly, to the flickering life within her. All the powers of the Dark Side to cheat death and steal life were put upon her form, willing the child to defy an untimely end.

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

Like a galeforce wind she felt him envelope both herself and their son, felt as his power moved in and around them to bolster her own efforts. For long minutes she allowed the Dark to course through, to bind and mend the damage caused by her over-exertions.

For a fleeting moment she saw Zem, his body being removed from the shuttle, and a swelling of hatred boiled up. He had done this; he had pushed her. The muscles in her jaw clenched as the Lupine once more tried to fold into herself. He would pay for what he'd done.

Her master's ethereal hands over her own calmed both mother and child, yet for all of his power, s'Il still felt the small life ebbing away. Her body worked tirelessly, funneling vital functions from her to the baby while the medics around her worked diligently as well to calm her heartrate.

[General Dan]

Dan could feel it too. Slowly and inexorably, the unborn son's life was leaving him. The medics were equally impotent, despite the injections and bio-electric devices they implemented.

"Nooo!!"

Dan exploded into a rage, tearing away from the throng as he shouted out his venom.

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

She held the small life till the last, her eyes closing in the knowledge that her and Dan's son would soon be gone. She cradled her son's essence, whispering words of love and reassurance even as he slipped into the nothingness beyond.

The Lupine cried. She wept bitter tears. She sobbed uncontrollably as the medics all stood back. Their own equipment had told him what the two Sith already knew to be true.

Distantly she could hear Dan, his own cries echoing her noiseless torment.

The life within was gone, stolen away by cruel fate.

[General Dan]

Strength sapped by rage and grief, Dan turned back to s'Il.

"My son, my heir, is dead."

He averted his eyes.

"Why didn't you protect him?"

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

Long moments passed after his accusing question. Moments that found s'Il shockingly quiet, broken only by dying sobs. She had placed the blame on Zem, but now, her master was placing the blame upon her. It tore further into already stripped and raw emotions.

Those around them pretended not to hear their commander's accusation towards his counsel, and went about their duties with precision care. The Lupine was given medication intravenously, and she seemed to ignore Dan's words in favor of letting those over her continue on.

Two even made an attempt to pull Dan away with quiet words, telling him that his companion would need rest; that she would most likely be in medbay for the night.

Why didn't you protect him...

They rang in her ears for what seemed an eternity, and she watched the two medics as they did their best to distance the Rebel Commander.

"I tried," she finally whispered.

[General Dan]

Dan, eventually acquiescing to the medics' requests to leave the patient be, distanced himself. He cast a grief-tinged look at s'Il, and stood far away as she was attended to.

It was almost beyond his notice when the unconcious Jedi was also led out, to much less fanfare.

Inwardly, the story was different. He may have lost a son to be sure, but his hold on s'Ilancy was now firmer than ever.