My One Act

[Khendon Sevon]

If you're following the Making the jump from RPing to novel writing (http://sw-fans.net/forum/showthread.php?t=19441) thread you'll note that I'm writing a one act.

You'll also note I have a kick butt outlining system for small things like this.

Anyway, I did all of the outlining and writing today.

Here is the result:
http://www.roxxu.com/taleofprincecharming_draft1.pdf

I want lots of comments so I can get this thing refined and sexy for April 6th.

Get to it.

[Rossos Atrapes]

I found one little nit-picky thing:


NARRATOR (V.O.)
Make that a lot awkward.

It's a small thing, but I think the proper way to say that would be "Make that very awkward."

Otherwise, I found it very enjoyable, especially the Rapunzel/feminist bit. I think the thing I like the most about it was that even though it has funny dialogue and such, it treats the main point of the play (love) with something akin to "irreverent reverence", allowing more cynical (or at the very least not as romantic) people to still enjoy the play and its meaning without being put off.

[Dasquian Belargic]

Have you ever played the video game The Bards Tale? I could hear some of the narrator from that game in your narrator :) (that's a good thing)

[Khendon Sevon]

Haha, yes. I love that game :) Definitely drew inspiration from there.