help me with some thing...

[Ergo]

ok so i'm trying to make me a chareter and this is what i have....what do you think??it's not done but it's just so hard to find something here....

Name
Rane Proxy
Species
Human
Age
20
Height
5'6
Weight
135
Eye Color
Sky Blue
Hair Color
brown
Home Planet
Concord Dawn
Affiliation
bounty hunter
Spouse
none
Mother
died,Tray Munnor Jusik
Father
died,Jack Jusik
Siblings
none
sibling
none
{{{Children}}}
Ship
YT-2000 transport,Serenity
Droid
R8-W2

[Shadow Storm]

It's a good start but let's clean up the formatting a little bit. As you get more into Role-play writing you'll want to improve the format in which you write, so people will find your work more appealing to read, and they'll help you to improve as well.



Personal Information:
Name: Rane Proxy
Species: Human
Age: 20
Height: 5'6"
Weight: 135 lbs
Eye Color: Sky Blue
Hair Color: brown

Background Information:
Home Planet: Concord Dawn
Affiliation: bounty hunter
Spouse: none
Mother: dead, Tray Munnor Jusik
Father: dead, Jack Jusik
Siblings: none
offspring(?): none

Possessions:
Ship: YT-2000 transport, named Serenity
Droid: R8-W2 (class model, droid name too?)
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[Lilaena De'Ville]

Looks fine to me - I have a character with a ship named Serenity already though. We don't have rules about ship names, but it would probably be simpler and less confusing for readers if you picked another name. It doesn't have to be wildly different, Serenity Dawn perhaps.

[Ergo]

thank you....and here is what i have

Personal Information:
Name: Rane Proxy
Species: Human
Age: 20
Height: 5'6"
Weight: 135 lbs
Eye Color: Sky Blue
Hair Color: brown

Background Information:
Home Planet: Concord Dawn
Affiliation: bounty hunter
Spouse: none
Mother: dead, Tray Munnor Jusik
Father: dead, Jack Jusik
Siblings: none
offspring(?): none

Possessions:
Ship: YT-2000 transport, named Dusk till Dawn
Droid: R8-W2 (class model,R8,Bolts?)
Weapon:Corestrike Rancor

[Darven]

Have you thought of a back story for your character? It would seem that he'd be a Mandalorian, or am I incorrect? I've been developing those a bit to match our timeline so maybe we should have a chat about it if you really are a Mando.

His parents have an interesting last name. Are they supposed to have some connection to Bardan Jusik?

[Charley]

5'6" and 135? D'awwww he's jus' a tiny feller ain't he :)

[Dasquian Belargic]

He's about my size ^_^;

[Ergo]

Have you thought of a back story for your character? It would seem that he'd be a Mandalorian, or am I incorrect? I've been developing those a bit to match our timeline so maybe we should have a chat about it if you really are a Mando.

His parents have an interesting last name. Are they supposed to have some connection to Bardan Jusik?

yup they are his sister's,aints,bothers,mothers son that was no long part of the clan if you get what i mean.....

and ok i may call you up for help on the back story...i was think about some thing like this....

"Rane had awork in the middle of the night hearing what could only be blaster fire.Rane slowy looked out of her door to see her father holding his SG-4 blaster carbine. what is he doing Rane thought as she looked around to see if she could see her mother.Ranes eyes found what she was looking for but it was not what she was hoping for.Ranes mother lay in a char half hinging in it and half hinging out.Ranes mother was died shot in the chest with her fathers blaster after trying to stop him from doing some thing stuped in his drunken rage."

ok what do you think??

[Darven]

Problem with that - Jusik wasn't from the Mandalorian system originally, so any of his relatives wouldn't be from there either. It would be highly unlikely, in any way. He plays an integral part in the backstory of my characters, and for him to have family within the same star-system is pretty much impossible.

[Ergo]

i was joking.........but i will come up with a batter name......how about Munnor??is that good?

[Darven]

*shrug* Go ahead.

[Ergo]

ok now i have to write the History and i should be good....