Wyl Staedtler
Jan 27th, 2009, 11:39:49 AM
You know those craptastic fanfictions that one finds on the internet? The ones that make you cringe and flinch by their sheer ineptitude and abuse of the English language?
You know you've secretly always wanted to write something of that calibre. Here's your chance! Come up with the most awful first line that you can!
For example:
It was a dark and stormy night, the sky black as the murderous revenge that coursed through the veins of Wyl Staedtler, metaphorically speaking of course, because if Wyl was unlucky enough to nick an arterial vein, it would certainly be blood which was let loose and the resulting sanguineous flow would not be black, but most likely one of the darker shades of red; not as deep as, say, heliotrope, but closer on the color spectrum to maroon, possibly falling somewhere between ponceau and russet.
You know you've secretly always wanted to write something of that calibre. Here's your chance! Come up with the most awful first line that you can!
For example:
It was a dark and stormy night, the sky black as the murderous revenge that coursed through the veins of Wyl Staedtler, metaphorically speaking of course, because if Wyl was unlucky enough to nick an arterial vein, it would certainly be blood which was let loose and the resulting sanguineous flow would not be black, but most likely one of the darker shades of red; not as deep as, say, heliotrope, but closer on the color spectrum to maroon, possibly falling somewhere between ponceau and russet.