Magic Box of Treasure! [Archive]

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Dr. Haslo

Jan 17th, 2009, 11:14:35 AM

"Hand puppet what do you think is in that box, that those monkeys dumped?"

Hand Puppet: "Sex toys?"

"What why would they dump sex toys?"

Hand Puppet: "To get rid of pornographic evidence, more than likely Idiot!"

"No one would get rid of perfectly good toys. You are the Idiot."

After a brief discussion with his hand puppet wife haslo went back to rummage through the things in his room. He hated getting into arguments with her; it always ends with her calling him and Idiot. Marriage sucked so much he was thinking about asking for a divorce then he could marry his latest love Sarah. Yet he knew Hand Puppet would just say no.

"Crap, crap, and more crap."

Hand Puppet: "What are you looking for honey dearest?"

"My lead weights for swimming."

Hand Puppet: "Why do you have lead weights for swimming?"

"So I can get to all the interesting stuff at the bottom of the pool of course."

The wife just gave Haslo a strange stare like usual. She didn't appreciate his genius, heck she didn't appreciate a dam thing about him. Sarah was the one that truly loved him; she even let him stab her. That was true love stabbing those you truly cared about.

"Aha found it. Time to go treasure hunting!"

Dr. Haslo

Jan 17th, 2009, 11:58:51 AM

1 hour later...

Haslo stood on the edge of a garbage barge butt naked except the weights on his ankles and the sock puppet on his hand. He turned to hand puppet and pursed his lips slightly.

"Give me a kiss for good luck and good fortune."

Hand Puppet: "I don't kiss morons I have standards."

"Standards you married me bitch, remember?"

Hand Puppet: "Yeah and I have regretted every day you put me on your hand."

"I want a divorce?"

Hand Puppet: "No because you would just you would waste your life on the tralk Sarah. Oh yeah I know about you two don't think I haven't been keeping my eye on you?"

Haslo went silent as she mentioned that she knew he had been cheating on her. He then looked down at the water and then back at Hand Puppet.

"I'm jumping and you can't stop me."

Hand Puppet: "Do it you don't have the guts. You will drown to death anyway?"

"No I won't I'm already dead and I don't need to breath."

He threw Hand Puppet off of his hand and jumped into the freezing waters to go down to the depths. The last words he heard came from Hand Puppet.

Hand Puppet: "You better bring back something worth it and if you give it to that dammed Sarah I will stab a stake into your heart."

He plummeted deeper and deeper into the water. It got Darker and Darker as he sunk into the water. The good news is he had a photographic memory so he remembered the near exact spot where the box had been dumped. The bad news he forgot to take under current into account as he plummeted into the depths.

His feet finally touched the silt at the bottom. It was dark and he couldn't see a dam thing. Good thing brought his trusty, oh crap he left his underwater flashlight on the barge.

"Blump blah bloop."

He cursed as he tried to feel his way around in the dark depths of the lake. He stubbed his toe on a rock and then another cursing with the same result. Oh it would suck if the sun came up and he had to sleep down here. Eventually he stumbled on something bigger after about an hour of searching. He knelt down and knocked on it.

"Bloop blap bleep?"

Roughly translated he said are you the treasure box? After a few minutes he realized what he was thinking was the treasure box was in fact a sunken boat. He gave a discouraging look to the darkness.

After another hour of stumbling over random stuff he thought could be the box he was about to give up. Then he stumbled on something he felt it up and realized it had chains on it. His only guess is it was either the treasure box or a refrigerator that some one really hated. He knocked on it like he had every other item and again asked the question?"

"Bloop blap bleep?"

Dr. Haslo

Feb 5th, 2009, 12:10:31 PM

No answer came back to him, after listening to it intently for a few moments. That meant one of three things possibly to Haslo. The box was either full of in animate objects, dead puppies, or it was empty. Secretly Haslo was hoping for dead puppies because he was sort of hungry, that was if vampires could even get hungry. Although he was sure if Vampires couldn't get hungry he had phantom hunger from once being in the land of the living.

"Bloop bleep blomp."

In the words of a great poet haslo quoted the words "My precious." that Gollum was a genius. He petted the treasure box as he hugged tightly. It was all his and no one not even the dammed fish where going to steal it from him. He then attempted to heave the box up from the ground but it wouldn't budge do to the pressure of the water. A look of disgust shot across his face as he started to think through his options to get the prize to the surface so he could open it.

A few minutes later Haslo was dragging the chest across the bottom of the lake holding it by its chains. The night was just about over after a few miss haps but he finally breached the shore of the beach dragging the huge container behind him. Once he reached the shore he looked up at the sky and then back down at his treasure box. He thought about taking it back to the ware house but then the mark try to steal his prize.

So impatiently he began to smash the lock on the chains with a rock. The lock popped and Haslo unwrapped the chains as if they where nothing to him. He stared at the now chainless box, the excitement was antagonizing. So he ripped open the top and to his amazement inside the box laid the most Gorgeous creature next to Sarah and Hand puppet of course.

"Sleeping beauty!"

Fiona Devlin

Feb 5th, 2009, 12:31:00 PM

:: Fiona lay inside the box, in a state of torpor and looking like something kept in a pickle jar too long. Her mind had retreated from the suffering of her body, and it would be hours before she'd revive again ::

Dr. Haslo

Feb 10th, 2009, 10:52:25 AM

In his head heard Hand puppet yelling for him to come and get her on the barge. He was torn at that moment looking between his pickled princess and the Barge where his wife was. Quickly he made up his and was looking around for a place to stash the body when he went after his wife. His eye's soon found an industrial sized dumpster.

With ease he lifted the pickled body out of the casket and marched over to the dumpster. He through the body into the dumpster and started to walk away but then he remembered something and marched back. Looking down at the body he pointed his finger at it and began to yell in a fit of anger.

"If you move, you pretty but very stupid corpse I will bite you! You won't like me when I start biting."

With no response he nodded to himself and headed for the water once again. He began to swim for the Barge to save his stranded wife.

Fiona Devlin

Feb 10th, 2009, 11:03:04 AM

:: Fiona's body fell doll-like into the garbage bin face down. It would take at least a few hours before she'd revive from her current condition ::

Dr. Haslo

Feb 10th, 2009, 11:20:13 AM

Few minutes later a sock covered hand peeked back over the edge of the dumpster. It looked in both direction and then down into the dumpster. From below the edge a voice could be heard speaking to the hand puppet in a whispered vote.

"Is it still there?"

Hand puppet: "Yes your wonderful dead pickle girl is still there."

"Yay, can we keep it?"

Hand Puppet: "You want to keep a corpse?"

"For a little while, until it starts rotting at least."

The hand puppet looked back down at the body and then turned backed to the hunched Haslo giving him a strange facial expression.

Hand Puppet: "What are you going to do with a not yet rotting corpse?"

A twinkle of sanity came to his eye for just a moment. A twisted yellow teethed smile crept up on his face as he began to stand up and look down at the corpse with hand puppet.

"We are going to experiment of course. Maybe we can revive it, maybe we can't but we should try."

Hand Puppet: "This exactly why I married you, you do have such a cruel brilliance to you sometimes. Are you think zombie attack on Chicago, cause I am?"

"No my dear I'm thinking on level of Frankenstein’s monster."

Hand puppet just gave him a blank stare for a few minutes before letting a smile rise on her own face.

Hand Puppet: "Then grab the body, we must take it back to the laboratory Doctor Haslo."

He loved it when she called him Doctor and if he wasn't in public he would have made love to her right there. Yet the sexual urges would have to wait until they got back to the lab. With that he grabbed the pickled beauty from the dumpster and ran off for the lab taking extra caution not to be noticed.

Dr. Haslo

Feb 10th, 2009, 11:47:48 AM

One hour later
In Haslo's super secret lab in the basement of an old abandoned building.

The corpse was now dressed in an old tattered and torn wedding dress lying strapped to a table. The Corpse had a weird metal helmet attached to its head. On the helmet were to large electrodes protruding from the top of it. At the top of the table where Fiona was strapped sat a car battery with jumper cables attached to it. Hand Puppet looked up at now naked Doctor Haslo.

Hand Puppet: "That corpse sure has some amazing healing abilities. You haven't even attempted to jump start it's brain yet and already it looks allot less pickled."

"Shut up and finish giving me a Blow Job."

Haslo grunted and groaned as Hand puppet did her job. The whole time Haslo stared at the corpse on the table. She was starting to look more and more familiar as the pickling went away. She was some remnant of his past but he just couldn't put his finger on who she was. It sucked the longer he lived as a vampire the more cobwebs filled his mind of his mortal life.

"I think I know her Hand Puppet."

Hand Puppet: "No way you can't know who the pickle is?"

Fiona Devlin

Feb 11th, 2009, 08:27:14 AM

:: Natural color started to return to Fiona's face, and a few minutes later, she sprang to life with a gasp ::

Dr. Haslo

Feb 28th, 2009, 12:53:20 PM

Fiona Devlin

Feb 28th, 2009, 12:58:25 PM

"Please ..." she whined. "... let me go."

Dr. Haslo

Mar 7th, 2009, 12:19:15 PM

Fiona Devlin

Mar 7th, 2009, 12:50:53 PM

"I'm a person!!!" Fiona squeaked, straining to get free but going nowhere. "Please, please let me go!!!"

:: She pouted in frustration, and looked frightened ::

Dr. Haslo

Mar 7th, 2009, 01:07:52 PM

Fiona Devlin

Mar 7th, 2009, 01:23:38 PM

:: Fiona looked bewildered as her head darted back and forth between the Malk and his hand puppet, and she tried real hard to recognize him ::

"Yes it's me!!! Fiona!!!"

:: She hoped that he was someone good from her past instead of bad. She was still very weak and disoriented ::

Dr. Haslo

Mar 7th, 2009, 01:40:13 PM

Fiona Devlin

Mar 11th, 2009, 11:04:38 AM

:: Fiona gave a shriek of panic as scalpel sliced deeply, and then a wail as blood shot from her eyeball ::

"EEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!" :cry :cry :cry

:: The Malkavian lost interest in finding out who she was anymore. It was far more appealing for him to torture her. She screamed again as he sliced into her other eye Over the next several hours, he would her explore her every pore with a gruesome collection of surgical equipment, only pausing to take notes and wait for her to revive from temporary death ::