Mesa See da Galaxy!

[Captain Monmoo]

"Lemme see dose farseein," Monmoo takes the macrobinoculars from the hisen sitting next to him on the transport, putting them up to his eyestalks. "Hata hata! So big!" He gives them back.

"So, you seein' da big city-place too?" The former Captain gestures out the window at Coruscant beneath them. The hisen is ignoring him, but nothing can dent his high spirits. "Mesa never been off da Naboo place before. Moole brudder tell me, nosa go dere, disa is da bestest place! But mesa wanna see Imperial Center."

He beams, "Yousa mesa palos?" Monmoo slaps the hisen goodnaturedly on the back, and is confused when the hisen gets up and leaves hurriedly. No matter. Nothing will ruin his good mood thisen day!

[Captain Monmoo]

"Una, duey, dee, foosa, fife, seeks!" Monmoo counts restaurants as he walks along. There are mui restaurants! And all on one block!

Coruscant is mui different than Naboo. The Naboo are quiet hisen, and deysa cities beautiful! Imperical Center is bombad, chock fulla dowapee flying high in the ganya like nothing Monmoo ever seen! And the huffmaker blows and blows and his hailu flop all over and he trips on his feet and falls to the ground. A mackaneek clonks all over him and Monmoo squeals and rolls and wishes he was paddlewompy in da ome-goosa, or in the stickgooshy with his brudders.

Why did he get in da skeebeetle and come dis far away way? Monmoo scrunches inna corner and peeks out with his stalked eyes at the hisens and others hurrying around.

[Sargeant Andillo]

Sargeant Andillo was having a hard time with this latest case. Someone in Coruscant was setting loose wild droids in public areas. Usually these droids were abandoned or on the list to go to the scrap yard for melting and recycling. Their minds were fragmented and usually there was scoring where someone had forcibly removed a restraining bolt.

He just couldn't figure it out, and that bothered him. Too many loose ends. He had a suspect, a Bothan slicer who he knew had a particular dislike for the Empire, but there were plenty of people who did.

Andillo managed to get lucky today, though. He stepped out of his favorite diner to get into his junk speeder just in time to see one of the rampant machines go walking by. Andillo did his best to follow, but traffic in Coruscant was always despicable and the limp in his left leg kept him from keeping on its tail for too long.

At least the swath of destruction and panic was a good sign that he was still hot on the trail. At last he stopped at the edge of one of the elevated platforms. Did it jump or fall off the edge? Andillo looked over the railing to peer several thousand stories below and rubbed the back of his neck with a large hand.

"Well, that's one way to destroy evidence."

Andillo looked about to see if there were any witnesses he could get a statement from. Around the edge of one bulding Andillo saw a rather panicked looking alien.

"Excuse me, uh," he paused. He wasn't familiar with too many alien races and he didn't want to upset this person. Still, he knew this species. It was in the back of his mind. Details were important, and when he didn't have them, it bothered him. Kept him up at night. At last he gave up on identifying the alien. "Have you been there long? You look scared. Did anything happen here?"

[Captain Monmoo]

"Scared?! Mesa no fraidee frog!" Captain Monmoo gets to his feet, shaking his head and waggling his eyes. Brushing his clothes off, he says, "That mackaneek makes a big boopjak treatin mesa like a feetwalkin. Hmph!"

Monmoo looks around to make sure that mackaneek isn't a comin back for round duey, and then he looks at the hisen who was spake to him. "Hata hata! A wangzapper!" His eyes goggle at the hisen's wangzapper, "Gungans no have wangzappers, only whizboomas, bodookas and boomas." He makes a spherical shape with his hands to show the hisen.

"Mesa touch?!" Monmoo reaches for the wangzapper, in its fancy holder thingy at the hisen's side.

[Sargeant Andillo]

Andillo looked down at his waist. Sticking out from under his trenchcoat was his sidearm. He totally forgot he had it.

"Uh, sir, I don't think that's wise. If you want, there's a shooting range you can go to for trying out firearms, but otherwise I think it would be best if this one stayed with me."

Clearly the strange alien was of no particular help. "Uh, about that droid? Did you say you knew which way it went? It's really important that I find it. I need it to work on a criminal case. I'm with the local police."

Andillo grabbed his badge from the breast pocket inside his trenchcoat and opened it. He held it out for Monmoo to see as long as he cared.

"Like I said, it's kind of important."

[Captain Monmoo]

Whicha way the mackaneek goeses? Monmoo looks around, trying to be a seein if hesa can find the clanker. "Criminals?!"

His eyes goggle around and then he's a seein that the hisen isa holdin sumthin out and Monmoo lookin at it. "OOoooo, where's mesa keeclumbsee? Yousa police!" Captain Monmoo throws up his hands. "We surrender! I no seein where deysa mackaneek is a goin!"

[Sargeant Andillo]

Andillo raises an eyebrow. "What?" He takes a moment to get his thoughts together by rubbing his forehead. "Oh, I'm not arresting you," he said while he put away his badge.

"I'm just trying to tie up some loose ends. They bother me, you see. If it's not too much trouble, could I get your help with this? I think the droids tend to target non-humans. If we're lucky we can catch the droid slicer in the act."

[Captain Monmoo]

Monmoo's yellow eyeballs be a widening and then hesa nods. "Oh yes, Monmoo a Captain, mesa good at helpin!" His haili sag and he adds, "But mesa sent away from da Naboo because of da Nocombackie Law. Much nicer inna stickgooshy, or logreena. Dis all lopity-pie here... no greena no paddle..."

He snaps his mouth shut and claps his hand over it, then mumbles, "Mesa spake and spake! Mesa help you, yes! But needin some tongue-grabben first..." Monmoo rubs his belly.

[Sargeant Andillo]

Andillo stuffed his hands in his trenchcoat pockets and thought that over. "There's Dexter's Diner just down that way. They have great chili. We'll work on that. Come on."

[Captain Monmoo]

Hata hata! The hisen police isa gonna show Monmoo a place to get da tongue-grabben! Maybe theysa have umi-yumi!

Monmoo walken after police-hisen, head bobbin from side to side, keepin deysa eyes a open for more mackaneeks. Don't want no more clonkin on poor Monmoo!

[Sargeant Andillo]

Andillo walked along with his usual relaxed limping stride. "Here's what we know about the code slicer so far. He's been getting decommissioned droids from a particular block of town. And these droids are usually discovered about three days after they get shipped to the junk yard."

They got to the diner. "Here it is. Dexter's not around anymore, but the place is still sticking true to Mr. Jettster's standards."

[Captain Monmoo]

"Ooooh," Monmoo spake, goggling at the tables and beings behind da counter. He lopsidedly walken behind da police-hisen towards a booth place, and suddenly squeals and throws up his handsa, twirling around. His hailu flop around, coveren up his face!

"Looky a mackaneek! Arrest deysa!" Monmoo cowers as the droid server rolls out to give someuna deysa foosa.

[Sargeant Andillo]

Andillo looked over at the droid balancing a tray while balancing on the one wheel. It amazed him how the droid could do it. Or how anyone could program one to do such a thing. It was incredible.

"Oh, she's fine. She's going to bring you your food once you order. The droids that go haywire the the ones that do heavy lifting and other construction work. Some have welders, others have power tools. One guy got a 6 inch bolt in his skull by one last week. It's getting worse and if I can't find the guy who did it, it won't get better."

Andillo asked for a coffee and motioned for the Gungan to order. "My treat."

[Captain Monmoo]

"Seeks inches?" Monmoo wiggles into da booth, his ungainly legs accidentally kicking the police-hisen as he gets comfortable. "Oopsie," he apologizes. "Ahh... Mesa be a havin a umi-yumi!"

"I am sorry, we do not make that," drones the mackaneek. "Perhaps I can suggest another fish dish for you sir?"

"Ahhh, okeeday!" Monmoo hesitates, then says, "Yousa pick, mesa not be a knowing what to get."

"The filet of saltfish is quite fresh this time of year," says the mackaneek on una wheel, and Monmoo nods and tries to look like he's a well traveled Gungan who eats atta diners allllll the timesa. He turns to Andillo. "Tanken yousa per da meal invitateon. Mesa yous humbule servant."

[Sargeant Andillo]

Andillo looked up from his thinkings and paid attention to what was going on.

"Humble? Servant? Oh no, that won't be necessary."

The droid brought his coffee almost immediately. He took a sip because he took it black and eyed Monmoo seriously.

"The construction firm that has been decomissioning the rampant droids hires a lot of non-humans for their manual labor. Bothans do a lot of the programming for the droids to make them do the construction. Sullustans run the skiffs and of course races with a lot of physical strength lift the heavy things that are too small for the large droids to handle."

He took another sip and watched the droid come back with the gungan's dinner.

"All the droids so far have been appearing two days after their decomissioning and they tend to blow up or destroy places with high levels of non-human activity."

Andillo turned the coffee mug in his hands and looked up again at the gungan. "The thing about it is most people seem to think it's the Bothans since they do all the programming. Bothans are pretty well respected in the non-human community. Next to the Twi'leks, I would say they're the most natural leaders."

"Thing is," Andillo continued, "humans on Coruscant, they don't like alien races at all. The humans of the Empire spread all number of rumors against them. Here in Coruscant it's the worst. So be careful."

"Anyway," Andillo said, "It can't be the Bothans. It's got to be a human. There's a man who owns the company that does all the orders and handles the networks that keeps the droids in sync."

Andillo got very serious. "I believe he is the one committing these murders, but I'm having a hard time finding hard evidence to convict him. But I have an idea. I need your help for it."

[Captain Monmoo]

Monmoo noddled, and thought. And thought and thought. "Mesa see'd nothing, though, jus' a clanka goin' berserk!"

He smiled broadly, "But mesa be happy to help you!"