Shadows of the Republic: The Beginning of the End

[Serena Laran]

Serena pulled a brush through her long red hair, trying to catch her reflection in the tiny mirror that graced her quarters on board Serenity. The years had not been unkind to her, but she was starting to feel... old.

It probably had something to do with all the younger people around her. Rhianna and Morgan, her two padawans, were in their early twenties. She was looking fifty standard years in the face. Serena smiled, then put the brush away, separating her hair into three strands so she could braid it before she went to bed.

Thinking back, she remembered being Rhianna's age, just a young Jedi looking forward to all she could offer the galaxy as a Jedi diplomat and healer. Had it really been that long ago?

Serena tied off her thick braid with a hair tie, and padded over to her bunk, lying down on top of the thin blankets. With a wave of her hand she turned off the lights, and lay in the darkness. Thinking.

Remembering.

[Serena]

Twenty-nine years ago...


"Come on, A'na!" Serena laughed in spite of herself, tugging at her friend's sleeve. "Help me get these ducklings in a row, or we'll never make it to the assembly on time." She indicated the youngling class that was running in circles around the pair of Jedi, not without a touch of exasperation. "You don't want to miss the big news, do you?"

"Of course not," A'na replied, and clapped her hands. "Come on younglings, let's line up." The children giggled, full of high spirits because they'd had lightsaber training for the first time, and reluctantly began to settle down and get into two raggedy rows.

The dark skinned Jedi leaned close to Serena. "Think they have news about Geonosis?"

Serena gasped, "We're not even supposed to know about that, A'na. If you hadn't eavesdropped -"

"Tsk," A'na Eldhil waved her hand. "Right place, right time. How was I to know the Council was in session?"

Serena sighed, and took a line leader's hand. "Come on children, we don't want to keep the Jedi Masters' waiting."

[Salemescro Avesca]

Just behind the train of younglings, there was an older boy following on. After every few steps he had to pause and wait for the group in-front of him to move, and with each delay the look of exasperation on his sharp features grew.

“Come on, come on,” he muttered, giving an encouraging nudge to the Togruta in his way.

[Ilias]

Ilias took sparring sessions as a time to relax. As odd as this sounds, there was something about exerting his body that worked quite well to calm him, and it was one of the few things that irked him to have it disturbed. Especially since it was the only practice that truly sated other things without indulging them directly. He had been in quite a lock with his opponent when the call for the gathering came. The skilled healer and warrior had less and less love for the council as time went on.He had his reasons, and was sure they had theirs - no matter how ridiculous they might seem. It was only his Jedi vows and deep-set convictions that kept him from outright going against them.

"The call comes, my friend. Perhaps this gathering will provide insight as to why my master has been so sleepless these recent weeks." Ilias released the other man from the hold he had on him, and wiped his sweaty brow with the top of his right forearm. "Another time. We will finish this."

Another moment he stood, before turning and rushing out of the training grounds without another word. It was only another few minutes before the Jedi - only a few years between him and thirty - joined the exodus that was headed for the gathering. There was Serena and A'na, leading sizeable lines of younglings like hatchlings following their mother's path, and other Jedi slowly joined, and followed along in an orderly fashion. He heard something about eavesdropping when he came alongside them, and it made him upturn the corners of his mouth in a small smile.

"Good day, Serena...A'na." He glanced back towards the younglings again. "I cannot imagine how one could possibly compete with all that energy and enthusiasm..."

At the end of one line, he noted young Salemescro Avesca. The impatience was apparent on his face.

[Lilaena]

Inside the assembly hall, little Lilaena looked up and around at the far away ceiling and many huge statues of past Jedi Masters. They were like, huge! She reached up a hand with her index finger pointing out, and pretended she could touch the ceiling with it.

Jedi Frrr'nn gently put his big hand on top of her little one, and pushed her arm back down. He was a zabrak, and her class teacher. "Patience, youngling."

Lilaena sighed big, and held her hands in front of her like all the Jedi did. Her classmates were quiet too, but pretty soon someone started whispering, and then everyone was whispering. It sounded like it was raining in the big hall, what with all the whispers. And more Jedi were coming in all the time!

She stood on her tip-toes, trying to see the dias where the Jedi Council were going to show up and talk to them all. Lilaena was only five, but she knew that one day she'd be up there, too.

[Wei Wu Wei]

A six year old Wei Wu Wei had done it again.

Quinlan Vos turned his back or stopped to speak to another master. In the time between, the Youngling managed to trade his hand for the hand of his stuffed Rancor Ron'ald and climbed to the top of the nearest Jedi statue he saw.

His glasses were wonky. Bent and damaged from falling, tripping, and idle play. There was some rough housing involved though. Wei especially like that. He also like the laser swords. the Jedi statue in question had its stone lightsaber pointed aloft towards the center of the domed ceiling.

Feeling impetuous, the youngster bravely walked towards the tip of the statue's blade.

"One foot in front of the other," he whispered to himself, holding his arms out to his sides.

"MASTER QUINLAN!" The boy shouted proudly. "LOOK AT ME! LOOK WHAT I CAN DO!"

Of course the boy stopped to wave his hands and bounce in place even though no one could miss him from his perch.

[Dae Jinn]

"Boys."

Dae Jinn was seated quietly with the rest of her youngling class, arms followed across her chest and feet tapping a nervous rhythm. She watched Wei Wu Wei out of the corner of her eye, half hoping that he wouldn't fall. The rest of her decided she would pinch him extra hard when she saw him next for being a show-off.

[Josie Grigori]

Amid the seated and whispering members of her class, at least one of the older students sat in expectant silence, patiently waiting on the assembly to begin. Jossel Grigori, 'Josie' to her classmates, sat nearest to Dae Jinn, and though her blue-eyed attention was also briefly drawn to the spectacle of the silly boy, she somehow refarined from commentary. A roll of her eyes was the only outward sign of her feelings on such antics..

Sitting stiffly, wishing her peers would show a little more decorum, Josie folded her hands in her lap and watched the last stragglers of the youngling classes enter.

[A'na Eldhil]

"How were you to know?" Serena looked almost speechless, and A'na smiled with all the peace and calm of a true Jedi Master.

"Yes, well -"

"Good day, Serena...A'na. I cannot imagine how one could possibly compete with all that energy and enthusiasm..." Ilias jogged up beside the pair, sweaty from another long sparring match no doubt.

Thankful for the interruption, A'na inclined her head towards the other Jedi Knight. "It takes all of our patience. But," she indicated the line of younglings following her footsteps, "They are quite capable of holding it in when needed. Its only during time of free play that the children are quite exhausting."

She winked at Serena, the newly minted Knight pretending she didn't see. "Just yesterday Serena had to pluck young Flyrid out of the way of Master Jocasta in the Jedi library, and get him to pick up and sort all the datacards he'd accidentally spilled onto the floor."

Serena sighed, nodding. "It took hours."

Before Ilias could reply, the trio entered the assembly hall. A'na walked the younglings up towards the front, where the larger Jedi and padawans would not block their view. Serena helped her get them all seated comfortably.

[Zem-El Vymes]

Zem Vymes got the summons as he was preparing to leave the temple. There was to be a briefing. He sighed, thanking the protocol droid for the message as he stood on the balcony of his dormitory room. Beneath him was one of the many great artifical canyons of Coruscant. The wind blew with a constant faint warmth, carrying with it a thousand sounds and smells. He loved the city. It was a place to live, a place to feel. The temple may have its wisdom and training, and dogma, but whenever that was not at hand, he ventured out.

He sighed, slipping his long robe over his shoulders, and flipping his padawan braid forward. What more boring and procedural tidbit would this be? He'd confided to his master that he wished to serve offworld, but Master Xensu said that he should find needs to fulfill that were near before reaching afar.

Then why did you leave?

It was a sudden departure. They were meditating in the Ithorian district, in one of the countless arboretums. A Jedi Knight he didn't know had interrupted his solitude, and with that, he was off to some star system, leaving Zem behind.

The padawan paused as he exited his dorm, turned around, and retrieved his lightsaber from the bedside, heading to the meeting area with an energetic burst of speed. A few turbolifts later, and he was there. Already there was a throng assembled. Taking the lead of the other older Jedi, Zem filtered his way toward the back. Was he the only service-age Padawan in here? Everybody older was a teacher. Everybody younger was a youngling. He was an island.

[Serena]

Serena had time to smile in welcome to Ilias as he joined their little troupe, and then A'na steered the conversation and the group into the assembly hall. The taller red-haired Knight kept quiet, feeling more subdued now that there were other Jedi around.

A'na always seemed able to push her buttons and get the normally reserved and serious girl to open up. Serena sat her youngling class down in an area set aside for the children, and A'na got her class settled as well. The assembly room buzzed with quiet conversations.

[Ilias]

Ilias would have happily settled into place along with A'na and Serena...

He was fond of being around healers other than Master Yuma (his master). Even though the elder healer was a genuinely caring individual, the red-headed Ilias felt certain that the man held his innate talent against him sometimes. There was (between Yuma and the council) an amount of either jealousy, distrust or even mild fear when it came to the halfbreed. His not-quite-human genetics were a sworn secret, and in circumstances such as these, one the skilled nearly thirtyish healer would likely take to his deathbed. Master Yoda himself knew what it was that Ilias might be, and it made any decisions regarding his advancement..uncertain.

...he would have happily sat along with the two women, but the hard-to-ignore antics of one young Wei would have caused an elderly Jedi cardiac stress. To Ilias, it merely reminded him of when he was that age, and he would have succumbed to smiliing, if he didn't know that such an expression might encourage the boy further. He glanced back at A'na and Serena and jerked a thumb at Wei, and almost helpless look on his face, then jogged a few metres closer to the scene, stopping alongside the same line in which Dae Jinn and Josie Grigori sat. He pinned Wei with the most stern look he could muster, and called out, making very sure that the boy would hear him.

"Wei Wu Wei, do you know what a consequence is?"

The boy looked at him, appearing to consider the 'old man's words. He shook his head, grinning. It wasn't clear whether the child really didn't know, or if he was just pulling the Knight's leg, so to speak.

"You will surely find out if I do not find your feet in contact with the ground, post haste."

This wasn't the first time he had voiced similar words. Ilias Nytrau had caught the six-year-old in the midst of his incorrigible antics more than once before.

[Wei Wu Wei]

"Ok!"

He sized the jump. Ron'Ald was his best buddy. No matter what, Ron'Ald always caught him.

The little boy used his basic command of the Force to boost his jump out over his stuffed animal, curled up into a cannonball, and landed atop the stuffed Rancor with giggles and shrieks.

Quinlan Vos looked down when he felt his arm get a slight tug, only to find Wei still holding his hand.

"Don't go running off or climbing the statues," Quinlan said. "You'll get into trouble again.

Wei smiled, glancing at Ilias. "Yes, sir. I'll be good."

Then he climbed up his teacher's side and took a seat on the Jedi's shoulders.

[Fionn Halcyon]

The moment the Bladderwrack lowered its boarding ramp, the lone Jedi passenger was sprinting down it, jumping the last few metres to the ground. Inwardly he cursed himself for his impatience, but at such a time like this? How easy it was to push aside the habits of a lifetime of training, and abandon serenity and reason for something more feral.

But maybe that side had always been more a part of him than all the training in the world could have erased - how else would he have found the courage and nerve to take this particular path...? But that he cursed now, too, wishing to stop the pain he felt.

Inside the temple, throngs of Jedi of all ages, younglings, padawans, knights and seasoned masters were already streaming from all directions towards the place of assembly; all possessed of a quiet grace, all so patient and peaceful. As the tall Corellian pushed his way through his fellow people, his face full of anguish, of pain and fear - all such un-Jedi-like emotions - he left a trail of disturbance behind, eddies of disquiet in the Force that surrounded them all. The hall of assembly itself was not yet full, only a few youngling classes and a few other, older Jedi in attendance already, a quiet buzz filling the hall with hushed conversations.

It would not be full. Too many were missing. Too many would never return. And she...?

The faces of those closest to him as he settled into a quiet corner betrayed nothing of what had happened so recently. Had they not felt it then? That same sudden spike of failure, of pain and death, of overwhelming loss...? Far off from the battlefield yet still attached to it in a way through her, it had forced him to the ground, rang through his head and heart with agony, made him cry out with that loss that he hadn't been able to shake ever since.... had none of them here felt any of it? Were they all so weak and numb to the outside world that they could not even get such pain through the Force, or was it his own fault for feeling too much? Had he opened himself to it when he let her inside his heart? Was that why the others did not seem affected, seemed so innocent?

My love, where are you...? What's happened to you? I still feel you, so you aren't gone from me, but... I fear for you! So much!

One more time - he didn't know how many times before he had tried - he fought to gain control over his tumbling thoughts and emotions, but succeeded only in reaching a state of lesser agitation. It would all be up now, no more secrets after this day, no more hiding the obvious. He couldn't contain it any more, and right then, didn't care anymore either: he just needed to know where she was, and more importantly: how she was. Nothing else mattered.

Biting his lip in frustration, he forced down a choking sob before it could draw any more attention to him - quite a few sets of eyes he could feel trained on him already, and he didn't dare meet their stare - and focused on a spot above the dais of the council, waiting, waiting, waiting... if only they could hurry, and he would know already...

He didn't know what would happen then.

[Lilaena]

Lilaena watched the goings on around her with wide eyes, and was about to say something to Master Frr'nn about the boy on the statue across the hall when the boy jumped down. She grinned, wishing she could climb up on a statue too.

Everyone was talking quietly, and the little girl occupied herself by wiggling a tooth around with the tip of her tongue. It was pretty loose, but not quite ready to come out. She wiggled it some more. Back and forth.

Master Frr'nn looked at her, and knew what she was doing, so she stopped. Lilaena smiled at him, and he smiled back, but then the Jedi Council walked in. Or rather, half of it.

"Jedi Masters Yoda, Mace Windu, and Ki-Adi Mundi are currently en route from the planet of Geonosis." Master Shaak Ti was speaking, her exotic montrails and lekku catching the girl's attention.

En route meant 'traveling.' Lilaena touched her loose tooth with her tongue, but resisted the urge to wiggle it again. Then she wiggled it anyway. It was getting looser and looser!

The Jedi and padawans all in the hall were quiet now, hanging on the Council's every word. Lilaena tried to pay attention, but Liam, a little boy in her youngling class and who was sitting next to her, had smuggled in a grasshopper, and it was hopping around! Younglings shifted and one or two squeaked in surprise when the insect jumped onto them. Master Frr'nn quickly intervened, scooping up the bug and placing it into a pocket inside his robe.

Liam got a stern look, and Lilaena thought proudly how she wouldn't have squeaked if the hopper had jumped on her.

The assembly gasped, and she looked up at the Council. "Out of the two hundred Jedi who were called up and taken to Geonosis, one hundred and seventy-nine were killed by the Separatist's droid army." Lilaena looked confused. Jedi didn't die... did they? They were all strong and powerful!

The Council kept talking, something about clones and fighting, but Lilaena was distracted by a big Jedi who was standing nearby, staring at the council. He looked... mad. Or sad. Maybe mad-sad. He was fidgiting worse than if he had a hundred hoppers in his robe.

He looked down as the Council kept talking, and Lilaena caught his eye. She smiled, wiggling her tooth with her tongue... and the tooth fell out! Surprised, she gasped, and held up the first tooth she'd lost so Master Frr'nn could see it.

[Salemescro Avesca]

There was a hushed silence about the room now. Unlike many of the younglings gathered in the chamber, Salem understood with perfect clarity what had just been said – yet it was difficult to accept. Not because of any sense of sadness, but rather because of the sheer scale of it. To have lost that many Jedi, in a single battle, seemed absolutely impossible – they were all better than that, surely. At least, that was what Salem had always believed. They were supposed to be unstoppable...

Frowning, he crossed his arms over his chest and glanced around to the rest of the elder Jedi, awaiting their responses.

[A'na Eldhil]

A'na wasn't aware that she was sitting with her mouth open until Serena leaned over and gently tapped her chin. The Knight closed up, her eyes wide. The Council fielded a few questions from other Knights and Masters that were in the Temple and had not gone on the ...the suicide mission to Geonosis.

If it had not been for her youngling class, A'na would have gone as well. But someone had to stay with the young ones.

One hundred and seventy-six Jedi... dead. Jedi and grown padawans. Some of the younglings looked confused, and Serena hushed their questions by promising to explain and talk about it when the assembly was over. A'na squeezed a boy's hand reassuringly, and tried to pay attention to what the council was saying now.

"The Republic, thanks in part to Knight Obi-Wan Kenobi, has obtained a vast clone army from the cloners on Kamino. Most of the survivors of the battle..." They just seemed to drone on and on.

A clone army? A'na frowned, wondering at the implications in the Force of so many people sharing the same DNA and midichlorian imprint. No one seemed to be worried about it. And wasn't it convenient, Obi-Wan finding an army just when the Republic needed it?

Looking over her shoulder, A'na caught sight of Zem Vymes, an older padawan who was being held back by his master for some reason. Masters always had a way of discovering ones flaws and requiring one to fix them. She had never been close to the man, but as children in the temple they had once been friends. She raised an eyebrow at him as if to ask, What do you make of this?

[Fionn Halcyon]

When the council finally appeared in only half its numbers, the tall Corellian's heart skipped a beat. Cold dread numbed his bones, fear he had never felt so palpably before then. He tried to push it aside, tried to tell himself that she could not have died without him feeling her loss, but... But.

Nothing seemed certain anymore.

When the council spoke, he listened dutifully but dully. When they announced the number of the dead, he closed his eyes, trying to imagine the death of one hundred and seventy nine Jedi - JEDI! - and trying not to see her death amongst them. So it had been all those lives, and those of this strange clone army, that he had felt die. He struggled to care about thir deaths, to feel horrified at this grand loss as he had at the moment it had brought him to his knees, but now there was simply fear and the terrible terrible worry and dread he felt for her.

It was threatening to burst from him. Opening his eyes he stared down at his hands and only then noticed he was holding his lightsaber in them, clutching it as if it was his last hope. For one frantic moment he wondered what had made him pull it, then gave up and put it away with trembling fingers. He cast a glance around to see if anyone had noticed, and caught the openly curious stare of a little youngling sitting nearby.

But that one look was final straw to collapse his resolve to remain calm. That look in the little girl's eyes - so much like Nya's - brought forth all the agony he felt inside, all the fear for her mother.

He shoved his way through the few people standing in front of the dais until he reached Shaak Ti. There he stopped, at her feet, and hoarsely called out to her: "What of Jedi Knight Selkie? She was one of those who went to Geonosis - Berit Selkie?"

[Wei Wu Wei]

The Jedi were what? By robots? Wei couldn't believe it. He decided then and there that no robot would ever kill him and he'd become the best lightsaberer in the galaxy if not the universe.

He hopped down from Quinlan's shoulders and padded towards the front of the room to get a better look at the speakers. Ron'Ald followed behind him in a lumbering gait.

Wei tripped over Lilaena where she sat and nearly fell on Dae. Ron'Ald likewise fell over the back of Lilaena's head.

"Oops! Sorry."

[Dae Jinn]

"Hey!"

Her voice was harsh whisper - if they weren't supposed to be so quiet, she would've yelled at the boy who'd nearly fallen on her. Instead she reached out with the force and planted a hard pinch on his arm.

[Taman Danar]

A hundred and seventy-six dead... and an army of cloned soldiers - so that was why Mistress Nu had sent her up here! It was absolutely unbelievable!

To Taman, who was usually already feeling out of place whenever she left the relative sanctuary of her office within the temple library, the world turned upside down. For the first time in a long time she felt afraid. Not because of being amongst so many true Jedi, but because she could feel an inkling of the confusion in their minds, and she had never felt anything like that coming from them. They were always so strong before, so capable, so undeterrable from their creed and traditions. She might only be a lowly member of the Corps, but she had not been without some training; the Force was still a part of her and she could feel their emotions.

And that was the real trouble. There was so much emotion suddenly. Fear. Confusion. Chaos. She couldn't handle it. As silently as she had come she escaped from the large hall again, and hurried down the now deserted hallways, back to the library. Her heart was beating so loudly she felt it like a loud drum in her ears.

Jocasta Nu, the head librarian of the Jedi temple, was already waiting for her in the doorway. The look on her face said enough: she already knew. After a second of indecision, Taman threw herself at the old woman who held her arms open to her, and who patted the back of her head when she whispered against her shoulder in a choked voice, "So many died. So many! And they fear...", and who replied with a voice full of emotion, "I know, I know..."

For a long time, they just stood like that, the young woman, and the old, taking comfort in each other's presence.

[Nadii]

The Jedi Temple was a place of sanctuary.

Nadii was never at the Temple.

She was a free soul. Nadii never was at any place too long. The galaxy was alive and she claimed it with every step. All she abided by was the Force. Every moment brought a new feeling, and her mystic nature used it as a guide. Very few times did the moment call for Nadii to be near Coruscant. The bustle of the galactic centre was too much, and too useless. However, on this day – this faithful day – Nadii found her way back to the temple for the first time in many years.

It had been a long time since she smelt the old curtains, felt the warmth, tasted the light air, and saw so few faces of joy in the Temple. The picture was almost identical to the day she was granted her first and only Padawan so long ago. An’ya Kuro, or Dark Woman to most, took her from the fate of Jedi Service Corps and into the clutches of tutelage. Such a happening was against tradition. Whenever an assignment was set there was no room for intrusion.

Yet, what could the Council say?

An’ya Kuro was a blessed child, and deserved a master that matched. She was a child all her own, and it only made sense for her Master to be the same. Nadii was renown as a mysterious Master of the Force, and Jedi Order. So much time had separated her from that faithful day, but it felt familiar in this instance. Certainly her old Padawan had not returned, but another disturbance had come to pitfall all the Order. Something far more vile, far more serious, and far more dire, it was war.



Despite the news, Nadii still pranced the hallways in all her youthful spirit. She was much older than they had last seen her, but who could tell? She had the same beautiful face, the same beautiful eyes, and the same beautiful smile, the same everything – and it didn’t seem like anything could ruin that. Definitely was apparent as she tight-roped the book-cases, lightsaber dangling at her waist, searching for that holovid on the recent events.

Nobody was around, so she took it upon herself to get someone to come over. A little yell was all that was necessary, of course.

“HEY!! I NEED SOME HELP OVER HERE!”

[Mandan Hidatsa]

The landing pad was deserted. No surprise there, Mandan supposed: an assembly had been called, so of course everyone would be there. Gently peeling away the band of metal pressed against his face, he settled the headset atop the forward console, and triggered the switch that would pop the canopy of his Jedi Starfighter.

He was late, but that was of no consequence: not today. He already knew what was being announced in the great hall. One of the Masters had been kind enough to inform him of the fate of his former teacher: slain by the Confederacy on Geonosis. He allowed himself a moment to consider the significance: mere weeks ago he had completed the trials, and had been elevated to the status of Jedi Knight. Had he not been across the galaxy on an assignment of his own, he too would have been among those who fought on Geonosis.

A stab of frustration tightened his chest. If only he'd been there...

No. That wasn't true. Master had always said that his pride would be his undoing. Over the years, he'd managed to curb it, tame it into little more than a healthy level of self-confidence, but at times it got the best of him. He needed to heed the Living Force: be mindful of what was going on around him; aware of the consequences of his actions, and of his thoughts. Pride was the first step on a dark path. He wouldn't let it take him.

Climbing free of the Fighter, he allowed himself a moment to straighten his robes, and made sure his lightsaber was secure on his belt. A calming breath flowed through his nose. While he knew the news that was being revealed to the Jedi today, he didn't know what more would be revealed. How would the Jedi respond to Count Dooku's new threats? What role would the Jedi fill in this new war? And what of this mysterious clone army?

Walking calmly but swiftly through the temple, Mandan reached out with his mind and gently touched the minds of the Jedi present, using their strong auras to guide him towards the gathering. Though he'd spent most of his life within these walls, he'd never managed to learn his way around the maze of corridors without getting lost.

A slight smile tugged at the corner of his mouth as he ascended the steps into the chamber, moving silently so his late arrival wouldn't be noticed. I really do need to learn to be mindful of my surroundings, don't I?

Eyes and mind both scanning the gathered crowd, his attention settled upon Ilias. Of all the complaints Mandan could make about his old friend, at least he was easy to spot in a crowd. Stepping up to the statue beneath which Ilias had positioned himself, he dropped his voice into little more than a low whisper, touching the other Jedi on the arm. "Hey."

[Istina Chriferre]

The Star Destroyer scared her, to tell the truth, on a level too deep for her to comprehend.

Istina was having a hard time understanding how it was she was standing in front of the View-port, watching the stars float so peacefully in the blackness of space. She didn't want to understand, to tell the truth; continuing in the charade would keep her from feeling the broken Force Bond that existed in her consciousness.

The other padawans ignored her like she ignored them; all of them were shocked, even if they hadn't lost their masters, at the cold mechanical way so many bright lights were darkened in the Arena.

It was all a blur to her, the landing, the fighting, the flying, and more fighting...

She cast a single glance down at her lightsabre, hanging from her belt next to her master's lightsabre; she felt tears sting at her eyes. She let them gather, and fall down her face.

"Tears, padawan?" came a kindly old voice. "Many desiring to weep, I see. Yet among them the only one doing so, are you."

"Master Yoda," she murmured. "My Master said that tears are a special form of meditation. They are designed to wash away pain when one has the right mindset."

Yoda looked at her discerningly. "Wise, was your master. His name, padawan?"

"I-Irkhaniel Feskin, Master Yoda."

Yoda nodded. "Aware I am of Master Feskin's thoughts on this matter. Fond of listening was he, only speaking when asked of his opinion. Not very often was it asked, unfortunately. But, not accepted his death have you."

Istina bowed her head, waiting for him to continue to scold her. However, he was called away to make contact with the Jedi Temple. With a sad shake of his head, he floated away, ruminating on the effect this battle would have on the future of the Order.

[Ilias Nytrau]

"Hey."

Though he and Mandan were of a similar age, one far outstripped the other in ability. The other was a little higher, however, in the echelons of trust. Both knew well enough which one each of these statements applied to. Both knew also, in one case, that it probably wasn't fair. But what could one do? The council would not be swayed. One had secrets, for sure. This one, this healer - he did. This warrior, this one with mastery beyond that which his rank would indicate. Ilias had done nothing personally to earn the wariness of the council, but he knew that there was likely nothing he could do to make them see otherwise. They had their reasons; reasons they both know....reasons that put them at an unspoken impasse.

When Mandan touched him, Ilias froze a second - he hadn't been expecting it. The words of the council had commanded his attention quite well, and it had fed a growing concern into his soul. This was a thing that may very well take many more lives of the ones that he had communed with daily, his entire life. After the few seconds of this strangeness, Ilias managed a small smile and turned his head to look on his longtime friend. Almost like brothers they had been, for so long.

"My friend, my brother." He took Mandan's hand and clasped it with both of his, and dropped his voice to a whisper. "My condolences to you for your master." He paused.

"Your journey...how was it?"

[Mandan Hidatsa]

Mandan allowed his remorse to surface for a few moments. The Masters told him that such emotions could easily lead to the dark side - after all, what is sorrow but a product of the fear and regret of loss? - and that he should learn to keep them in check lest they overwhelm him, but Mandan couldn't bring himself to brush his mentor aside so easily. It seemed wrong to dishonour his memory. Still, perhaps here wasn't the best of places to express them.

Forcing a blanket of calm over his minds and emotions, he shot a slight smile to Ilias before stepping beside him, eyes on the Masters and their announcements. "You know how I feel about those Jedi Starfighters of ours," Mandan said lightly, greatful that Ilias had deflected the topic so gently. "Not enough room to swing a gundark, no one to spar with, and nothing for conversation except one of those infernal droid machines."

The lightness in his voice shifted slightly, his thoughts turning to Ilias. For the first time, he considered himself lucky. While Mandan had a focus for his anguish, Ilias had no such luxury. Mandan could tell himself that his presence could have made the difference between the life and death of his Master, but he could also comfort himself in the knowledge that there was no way he could blame himself: Jedi business had taken him to the wrong part of the galaxy at the wrong time. But here was Ilias, forced to hear about the deaths of so many, and stuck with the knowledge that he was only prevented from helping because the Council failed to trust him.

He shot his friend the briefest of glances. "How are you holding up?"

[Serena]

The large room was in an uproar. Well, as much of an uproar as a large gathering of concerned Jedi could make. It rumbled with low voices and movement. Serena gathered in her little flock of younglings, promising them answers to their questions once they got back to their training room.

A'na was trying to get the attention of young Avesca, a youngling on the brink of being assigned to a Jedi for padawan training. Just as Serena herself was a padawan on the brink of being knighted. Her master, a Jedi diplomat, was currently assigned to the senate, and on his off days she taught a youngling class. To further teach her patience, he said.

Ilias was distracted by another friend, someone Serena did not know, and as the children gathered around her she felt a wave of sadness. The war had started. Jedi had been slaughtered, despite their talents and the Force, overwhelmed by sheer numbers.

Count Dooku had betrayed them all.

Serena rocked back on her heels slightly, then focused, took a deep breath, and started herding her younglings through the crowd. The Council was still on the main dias, fielding questions from senior Jedi.

[Ilias]

Ilias considered the words of his old friend; Indeed, those Jedi Starfighters were not preferable to any number of other craft, but it was what they had to work with. That did not mean they had to like it. He smiled a little in agreement.

"Well enough."

And that was the truth. Not the whole truth, but the truth nonetheless. The whole piece around the council keeping a wary eye on him would not disappear anytime soon... and there were other things that were higher on his list of concerns. While there were certain advantages to his level of skill, there were also disadvantages - he knew things those such as his master would otherwise not have him know. Did Master Yuma know something worse was coming their way before it was even said? Possible. He had said often enough that his dreams had different qualities, that he sometimes had visions. That might be explanation enough why he was hiding it. The needs of the many are greater than the needs of the one and such. Still, it concerned him, that in a time when the skills of the healers were of great need, his master...

"I am just as useful here, as a healer, as I would be out there, a warrior and a healer." He paused, closing his eyes, breathing out a sigh, then opening them again. He spoke in the barest volume, enough for Mandan to hear. "Perhaps with this turn of events, the council will see the error of their decision-making processes and allow me to be of aid."

He looked over his shoulder, watching Serena a moment, almost pitying her the task of later fielding the questions the younglings would have concerning this matter. Soon enough she would be a knight, and he would... still be a knight, through no failing of his own. Ilias turned his attentions back to the dias, and started thinking of what possible direction the council would set sail to next.

"What will we do now...?" He wondered aloud.

[Salemescro Avesca]

The discussion between the Masters and Knights continued without much interjection from the younger members of the Order. The younglings had yet to comprehend what had happened and whilst Salemescro felt he had a grasp on it, he also knew – with surprising maturity – how likely it was that his voice would be heard, both literally and metaphorically.

In lieu of making some comment, he simply observed those around him, looking to the various Knights and Masters to see how they were reacting. Some appeared composed, whilst others were marked with confusion and disbelief. His attention shifted towards A'na Eldhil, only to find that the Knight had already focused her attention on him. His eyes didn't leave hers as he walked to place himself at her side, distancing himself from the rest of the younglings.

“One hundred and seventy-nine dead...” he said, looking away to the assembled circle of Jedi for a moment, before glancing back up at A'na with one eyebrow arched quizically. “I suppose this means the Council will have to approve the training of a whole new group of Padawans, to make up for those that have been lost?”

[A'na Eldhil]

"Indeed," A'na said, putting her hand on his shoulder. "I believe that you soon will be assigned to a knight." She smiled down at him. Salemescro had nearly been promoted from youngling on one other occasion, but the knight in question had not accepted him. Or something. The pairing had not worked, that much she knew.

"We should get everyone to the dining hall now," A'na added, "Will you help me with the children?" She looked up and snapped her fingers, her class quickly finding their places in line once more.

[Taman Danar]

After a while, Taman let go of Madame Nu; while still craving the comfort of being held and kept safe, she was beginning to feel a little foolish.

Staring down at her own shoes, she wondered what was going to happen to them all now. She was suddenly fearful of letting too much of her emotions and her uncertainty show, although she couldn't say why exactly she felt like that.

Stepping back from the older woman, feeling very self-conscious, she realised that the librarian had her eyes closed: stock still she stood, body rigidly upright, her face turned up towards the ceiling, the arms that had patted the younger woman's back a moment ago now hanging stiffly at her sides, fists clenched. Perhaps the old woman had read her thoughts - or had she wondered out aloud without realising it? - and was seeking an answer.

Taman knew that Madame Nu sometimes had the gift of foresight. She had no idea if this was a force-given gift, or a natural talent, but it was something that Taman had always wished she could have herself. She'd never seen Madame Nu use her gift, however; yet any fascination she would have felt at any other time, it was now completely replaced by her all-encumbering fear.

As Taman watched the still figure in front of her, she saw a shadow crossing the features of the Jedi historian's otherwise serene face; her eyes appeared to be moving behind closed lids as if searching for something. The entire body appeared taut and somehow pulled lengthwise, yet remaining the same as it had always been.

Finally Jocasta Nu gave a great gasp, and stumbled forwards, grasping Taman's shoulder for support. Taman did an involuntary step backwards, but threw out her arms to steady the older woman.

Madame Nu breathed in air like someone starved of it. One time. Two times. Three. Her eyes, usually rather small in her face, now sat like two giant glacial moons on her wrinkled face. They appeared dim, distant, preoccupied already with what they had seen. Slowly her breathing steadied, and Taman relaxed her hold of the older woman's arms. For a moment she had been worried that she had misread the situation, that the old woman had suffered a stroke instead of a foretelling.

Finally Madame Nu seemed to be herself again; she straightened up. Then she seemed to realise in whose company she was, and absent-mindedly a thin smile crept onto her wrinkled face. "You'll do well, Taman, you'll do well yet. You will have the chance you craved for so long; go put your affairs in order, they will call you soon."

This startled Taman out of her fear. What chance was Madame Nu talking about? She'd only ever craved one thing, and that was the one she'd been denied. Unable to think past the first thoughts that had come to her mind, she hurriedly made her leave and ran off to her private room.

Could this mean she was going to be a Jedi after all? And what had she seen that she hadn't told her, a lowly corps girl?

[Salemescro Avesca]

Soon, soon... but how soon? On more than one occasion, an elder Jedi had cautioned him to demonstrate patience, and that when he was ready, the Council would know. With each passing day, it just felt more and more like he had been forgotten. Worse still, Master Eldhil had begun to use him like a dog to shepherd her flock around. Yet, he did not protest when she asked him to guide the younger children away to the dining hall. Protesting such tasks had never won him any favour, either with A'na or the Council, and so he tried to temper his frustration with the knowledge that soon – soon – his training would begin.

[Serena]

"What of Jedi Knight Selkie? She was one of those who went to Geonosis - Berit Selkie?"

Master Shaak Ti turned to see the source of the question, and looked upon Knight Halcyon. She inclined her head towards him, her akul-tooth headdress catching the light. "I am sorry, Jedi Halcyon. Knight Selkie is among the honored dead, along with our other brethren."

[Lilaena]

Master Frr'nn had tucked her tooth into the band of her obi for saftey, smiling at her. He seemed sad.

Everyone seemed sad. Lilaena looked around, and poked Liam. "Did the Masters really die?" She was concerned, and frowned while she had to wait as he pounced on the hopper he'd unleashed during the assembly. Liam held it between his two hands, and nodded.

"Yeah, that's what the Council said." He was a year older than she was, so Lilaena trusted he knew what he was talking about. Even if he was a boy. With a hopper. He held it up to her face, but she wasn't scared, and put her hand on her hip to show her displeasure, just like a grown up. He smirked and ran off, trying to catch up with Master Frr'nn as he led the class out of the hall.

Lilaena trailed behind, her little face screwed up with concentration. She was sad now, too. She bounced off an older boy who had all white eyes, got startled and ran through another youngling class that scattered around her, and finally caught up with Master Frr'nn who was waiting for her at the door. "Lilaena," he said, sounding like he was going to scold her, but he relented at the look on her face. "Come, child." He put out his hand, and she gratefully took it, hugging his arm.

Jedi had died. A lot of Jedi. Lilaena sniffed, and not even the awesome space in her teeth where she could stick her tongue out with her mouth closed could cheer her up.

[A'na Eldhil]

A little youngling ran into Salemescro's side as she wandered blindly through the assembly hall, startling the girl so that she broke into a run. A'na bit her lip to stop her from shouting as her class scattered as the other youngling dashed through the middle of their formation.

She snapped her fingers again, and got all twenty of the children of her Krayt Clan gathered up as they left the hall. Lunch was next, and then... then the children would be returned to the clan living area where Jedi Fi'in would take over for the afternoon. A'na took a deep calming breath, looking around to see if Serena and Hawkbat Clan were nearby.

They were still inside the Hall. A'na knew she would catch up with Serena later, and nodded greetings to Jedi Master Frr'nn who taught Manticore Clan along with Jedi Greer, a Rodian. The little girl who'd caused such disruption to her clan was with him, clinging to his arm. The Zabrak Jedi inclined his head towards A'na, and herded his charge back to their clan.

A'na headed towards the dining hall, her thoughts dwelling on the slaughter at Geonosis.

[Fionn Halcyon]

He had known what the answer would be before she had uttered it - maybe even before he ever set foot inside the temple - but that didn't make it acceptable. It simply couldn't be! She was not dead. She was NOT dead!

He found all of his anger drained off, making room for disbelief. And then - stubborn denial.

"She's not dead," he said, at first only to himself as if hearing his own voice would confirm it somehow - then he repeated it out aloud, growling, shouting it out, trying to make them see it too: "She's NOT dead! Do you hear? She's Not dead, NOT DEAD!"

Then, noticing their bewildered faces at his outburst, he simply continued yelling at them: "She's my wife - and she's not dead! Let me go, and I'll bring her back here!"

[Istina Chriferre]

Istina had no idea how long she'd been on this Force-forsaken ship; she'd just awakened to the dark room she was sharing with the two other padawan survivors of the Battle of Geonosis. Neither of them were awake, and Istina was actually glad of the fact. Both of them were older than her fifteen years, and on the way to the planet had done all but ignore her. The nice boy their age that had spoken with her, and even helped her with some Force training that she was having difficulty with, was dead, burned all over by blaster shots.

She'd seen it happen; it had been as she was riding in one of the troop carriers into the arena where the Jedi were surrounded, they had touched down, and she had been forcefully told to stay within the carrier. As she crouched, she had looked and seen the young man slicing through a battle droid and then blocking a few shots, before he was overwhelmed and she couldn't see him for the amount of plasma that scorched into his body.

Istina shivered, and shook her head to clear it of the memory. For few moments, she tried to meditate and release the emotions into the Force, but she gave up a few minutes later, frustrated and hungry. After struggling into her boots, she meandered her way to a synthesizer, and ordered some food to assuage the ache in her stomach. She kept a careful ear on the conversations floating around her, only getting interested in one:

"There's orders coming down for preparation to leave hyperspace."

"Yessir. How long until we revert?"

"Should be about another five hours. You have your orders."

"Sir!" the navy men jogged off to get their stations in line and prepared for the reversion from hyperspace.

Istina felt relieved that home wasn't too far away, but also she never wanted to see it again; it would hurt to be there without her master. She cast a glance down at her three-quarters eaten food, and sighed. She'd lost her appetite.

[Salemescro Avesca]

As the younglings trailed away, Salem glanced back over his shoulder at the sound of Master Halcyon's voice. The boy observed the elder Jedi's outburst for only a handful of seconds, before he looked up at A'na Eldhil.

“This is why we don't marry, isn't it,” he observed, dispassionately.

[Ilias]

It was indeed one of several reasons why Jedi did not have attachments outside of the Order. Though Ilias had not been party to the comments that the young Salem made, he was having the same thoughts - ones that cautioned him against his own situation of which he had little doubt that it was known about. She couldn't say for much longer at the temple. And with certainty, he knew he would not be around this place for that much longer himself.

Knight Nytrau looked away from the dias to the retreating clans of younglings, many of whom he had been tasked with healing for one reason or another. Even the likes of Serena he had put his healing hands to in help, when he was but a padawan, allowed only to practice rudimentary healing of minor scrapes and bruises. He knew well enough that he was always capable, by natural gift, of much, much more.

He wished, some small part of him, that he could understand the pain that Fionn felt. Though older, he was a friend. Him and his wife. The news of a friend lost... for Nytrau, it had been several. It was a pain that was beyond the capabilities of any healer to heal.

[A'na Eldhil]

"Yes," A'na said simply, looking down at the young Arkanian. "Emotions in and of themselves are not always bad, or wrong to have, but they often can cloud your judgment. A Jedi should be mindful of that and keep a clear mind. We cannot think of one being as more important than all the others, but serve everyone equally as a Jedi."

She put her hand on his shoulder, steering Salemescro along with her as she walked to the dining hall. "The Council has their hands full," A'na continued absently, almost forgetting the boy was there.

[Salemescro Avesca]

The boy glanced at the hand on his shoulder, feeling a hint of satisfaction at its presence. Master Eldhil was taking an interest in him personally. Somewhere behind them, Fionn Halcyon was still reciting the mantra he seemed to think would bring his wife back from the dead.

“Master,” Avesca ventured, with a glance up at the silver-haired Jedi. “You don't think the Council will send more Jedi to Geonosis, on a search and rescue mission, do you?”