Parent Exercise DVD Help....

[Kraehe Branwen]

I just bought two of them, one for babies and one for toddlers. Since my six month old was sleeping that made my son the guinea pig. lol Well, so I just tried it... And it didn't go so well. He bit me! Not out of frustration, I don't think. I think he was laughing so hard at what I was doing that he actually bit down on me. But he bit me yesterday too so I dunno. O.o He's going to be 3 March 1st so I'm a little bewildered. Didn't the whole biting phase end when teething ended? He has all his teeth, has had them for a year now. Anyways, back to what I need help with... Has anyone had success with this? I tried like hell to get him in on this but I could barely get him to cooperate with me holding him for the arm exercises. The only one he liked and cooperated with was the one where I was spinning around with him in my arms. It's the Parents Magazine DVD and the exercise is called "zoom zoom zoom" or something. Every other exercise you'd think he'd do like crawling around on the ground pretending to be a dog he just tried jumping on my back. And when I needed him to sit on my tummy thats when he bit me on my chest(no boob jokes cuz luckily it wasn't there). He's a little behind with his development. He still doesn't talk and is considered a little anti-social for a kid. Thats one reason I got this DVD. :( I hope that this is just because its the first try. I need some encouragement or something. Hopefully someone has used one of these things or has been to a class for it. Heck, or is even an instructor for this type of thing!

[Tri'ahna Zylary]

Never heard of it - what are "parent exercises"?

Honestly, my daughter had the biting phase only briefly, but definitely not until after she had stopped teething. It pretty much came when she noticed other children at kindergarten (this is what we in Germany call the place the kids go from 3-6 years) do it, and ended when she tried biting my finger one time too many and I told her the next time she tried I'd stick my finger into a pot of whatever nasty I could find so it would not be funny anymore. That pretty much ended that phase.

What's "anti-social" in your son's case?

[Kraehe Branwen]

Link (http://www.target.com/gp/detail.html/601-4774854-2284145?ASIN=B000W44AHI&AFID=Froogle&LNM=B000W44AHI%7CMom_and_Toddler_Fitness_DVD&ci_src=14110944&ci_sku=B000W44AHI&ref=tgt_adv_XSG10001)
Thats the exercise DVD that I got. Its for parents to do with their toddlers basically. It has exercises where you use your toddler as extra weight when you squat or as the weight for your biceps.

As for my son he doesn't get to play much with other kids and since he can't name a friend they've labeled him anti-social. Plus he's shy around other people. He does say some words but when we're out and about he goes completely mute. Like I know he can say dog just fine but when we went to WIC and they were doing the 6 month thing they did this quick check and showed him a pic of a dog and he wouldn't say it. He likes being around people but won't talk to them.

EDIT: Dang it I dunno how to do that fancy thing where I put text in with the link. I know the link is long. >.<

[Tri'ahna Zylary]

I've never heard of something like Parent-toddler exercises........

I wouldn't worry all that much about him not talking much in the presence of others. Are you going to put him into playschool? Usually that takes care of it - the neighbor's boy was a bit like that. Maybe he was a bit more extreme - his mom pampered him to a degree where the poor boy was getting carried everywhere and everyone was doing everything for him so he never bothered to learn to do things by himself, and he didn't want to talk either since he figured out bawling his eyes out worked much better, but the moment he entered playschool that stopped dead. Because the other kids didn't care for his behavior and so he had to open his mouth.

That sounds vastly different from what you're saying - I know - but the thing is, once kids enter playschool they seem to adapt to that. If they didn't talk much before, they figure out that they have to do so eventually or they're never going to get anywhere. Some kids are just quiet, but I wouldn't let that worry me if I were you. If YOU know he can talk in a normal way, it doesn't matter. Just make sure you read a lot to him, to increase his vocabulary, even if he doesn't repeat the words in the beginning. It also helps to explain words to him, and to make little word games, sing, make rhymes, use finger games - anything that surrounds him with words.

As for the anti-social thing: There were a few really quiet kids in Nya's group last year - most kids seem to have this quiet, self-contained stage at first - but when they turn 4 they open up to their surroundings more, play with others, etc.... it's a developmental stage. They don't really get into the whole "making friends" stage until they're 4 and older; until then they are still a bit more in their own world, centered around themselves. They might play with others, but it's more playing alongside others than with them. I think it's a bit harsh of someone to label a child anti-social just because he cannot name a friend, at 3. Whoever's saying that obviously doesn't understand children all that well.

[Kraehe Branwen]

Reading to him can be a bit of a nightmare. I used to do it everyday but he throws a fit that the neighbors complain about now if I don't continue reading to him all day long. I read him three books and sometimes they are pretty long books. I have one that is twenty pages long or so, The Giving Tree. But when the three book limit is up he goes back for another and I try telling him no and he still grabs another like he doesn't understand and I tell him it's time for bed and a tantrum ensues. It's so bad I even avoid reading to him because he can hold a tantrum for an hour or two! He's stubborn! What sucks is I enjoy reading to him until the tantrum but whats worse is I can't read to my daughter without leaving him out. If I read to her I'll have to read to him and then when I stop there will be a huge tantrum explosion. Time outs don't seem to work with him. Talking to him face to face doesn't work, he's slapped and kicked me when I tried that. I really do think the core to all of this is to blame on the fact that he's frustrated that he can't get the words out that he's thinking or maybe he can't understand why he can't have another story. I'm trying everything I can to get him out of whatever shell he is in to get him to bloom. I'm even trying sign language with him which he seems to enjoy a lot.

[Tri'ahna Zylary]

Oh I know that phase.... Nya will have me read to her until my voice is gone and woe to all if I'd stop! Usually it ends in her sulking but that's something she'll just have to live with. If she gives me a tantrum she can get out of my bed and into her own and nevermind snuggletime or me singing to her or tucking her in. Which of course will always mean she'll be too grumpy to go to sleep for a while, but that's also something she has to learn.

My methods might be a bit strict and not everyone likes them, but they usually work. You can't always give in.

My suggestion: get him a portable cd player and la few books on cd. If he doesn't want to go to bed because he wants more stories, tell him he can go to bed and listen to a story on his player. He'll either like it and fall asleep after a while, or not like it and accept that if he wants you to read you get to set the limit.

Btw, you're welcome to IM me if you like....

[Kraehe Branwen]

Thats a good idea. He already has a CD player. He got one for christmas from his biological father. He loves music a lot. Or perhaps I could just widen his selection. Sometimes we let him fall asleep to music. He only has a few CDs. He has a birthday coming up soon(his third birthday). I should probably get him a few more.

I just feel like I'm in tears over him lately. He's starting this phase where he's actually punishing himself by hitting his head up against the wall too. And I saw on Dr Phil something about that that the dad was to blame for one reason or another. I'm wondering if it's the communication problem between us thats making it so rough on him, but I still blame myself. This started a few days ago. It's one reason why I got these DVDs. They claim to bond mother and child. I know all kids go through that phase but I can't help but worry and blame myself. Everytime I tell him no he does it. But yeah, thats the main reason I got the DVD cuz I thought he was really crying for help. Maybe the new sister is worrying him, but then again, he seems thrilled to have her. I have so many theories but no answers because of his lack of communication. I just wish I could ask him "whats wrong?"

[Tri'ahna Zylary]

I dunno.... I guess that's where boys and girls might be different and unfortunately I have no experience with raising a boy. But I wouldn't go and believe anything some quack (yes, anyone on public TV for me is a quack no matter what his qualifications) might say - they just say whatever they want. Every few years it's some new theory that disproves the last one. And it's all the same BS.

You said it yourself. ALL KIDS GO THROUGH THAT PHASE. So don't blame yourself or anyone else for it, but look for ways through it. Sometimes it's damn hard. Nya didn't have the self-punishment phase but she's had times when she'd try to stick her head through the wall just so she'd get what she want (figuratively speaking, that is) and I hated every moment of it. I didn't get through it without having to use some desperate measures, and endlessly repeating the same punishments and teaching her the same limits. It wasn't pleasant, and I didn't like it, but it worked.

I dunno what having a sister might have to do with it - in my experience even if they are thrilled to have a sibling, it still is an internal fight because it means having to learn to share the mother, and a shift in attention. They don't always show that outwardly.

[Kraehe Branwen]

I bought my son a Goodnight Blue CD and a Hampton Hamster CD and that freaky frog thing CD off of Amazon.com just now. He really likes that techno music, but I also got that Blues Clues CD cuz it has goodnight songs on it. I didn't know they even had any of those CDs. But most of them are used because they don't make them anymore. Not that I'd think he'd care but I managed to get it new anyways. :D

[Tri'ahna Zylary]

Hmmmm... go get some actual stories! Some good ones that I got Nya at that age are the Little Bear stories by Martin Waddell - see this page (http://www.amazon.com/Little-Bear-Stories-Martin-Waddell/dp/0744581540/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1203528933&sr=8-1) for more info. It should be possible to find the CD collection of it (I have it)

[Kraehe Branwen]

I'm going to do some searching for some of his favorite books. Like he really loves Goodnight moon and If You Give a Mouse a Cookie. But those are really short books, though I'm sure they'd probably have a collection of the same author on the CD.

[Kraehe Branwen]

I just finished doing the DVD with my daughter and she loved it. She nibbled my finger too but I let her. LOL Shes teething. Towards the end she got cranky because of that but she thoroughly enjoyed it. She was way more cooperative.