Gift from a New Generation

[Teagan s'Ilancy]

Takes place before the Urns thread.



It was unusually quiet aboard Layla. No one seemed to have much energy to play, and that included the little ones as well. The grownups were all busy; Sanis and Cirr were down in the engine room doing something, Dama was reading in the Cat, and Ssem was lying on the cot he'd placed in a corner of the hold. Daani was nowhere to be found either; maybe she was with Sanis and Cirr?

Standing forlornly on the threshold of the shuttle's hatchway, Tak stared at her feet for a moment. She turned to look at Dama. The elder Lupine was busy with her writing and books.

It'd been fun for the first ten minutes, looking through her own picture books, but for a seven year old girl that had far more energy and curiosity than most her age, it was not enough. And so she'd scrambled up to head for the door of the Cat. Wasn't there anything else to do?

She stood quietly observing the quiet goins on around her, hands up on the middle railing of the catwalk. It was then that her eye had caught sight of Ssem's form, unmoving on his cot. A final look to Dama's back, and the little girl was off quietly, making her way down the steps leading to the hold's deck.

Bare feet tiptoed over the metalwork. It would be best to not make any sound that would startle the older man. The was a small amount of nervousness as she came closer to the cot and its' occupant, but if what Dama always said about him was true, than he wouldn't be too mad if she watched him. Dama had told her stories of him, and said that he was a patient, sweet man. But looking at him now, Tak wasn't all too sure if he was still the same. He looked so old now, much different than the few pictures and drawings that Dama had showed her.

Stopping at the Cot, she was extra mindful not to make any noise. He was facing the bulkhead, his back to her. Watching his body rise and fall in a steady rhythm, the little Lupine placed small hands on the edge of the makeshift bed and leaned forward just a little bit.

His hair was a wild mess, that was for sure, and Tak reached out carefully to pat down a wild strand that stuck off to the side.

[Zem Vymes]

One eye opened slowly, and turned to look at Tak.

[Teagan s'Ilancy]

Frozen at the sight of his open eye, Tak stopped smoothing his hair down.

Suddenly wondering if it had been a good idea, the little girl looked to the deck, had hands clasped.

"I was fixing your hair," she whispered.

[Zem Vymes]

I spoke, a sleep-heavy gruff voice.

"Straightening out a birds nest, huh?"

After a few seconds, I sighed, and sat up on the cot.

[Teagan s'Ilancy]

She watched him sit up, looking at his face. He was just so old! His question was met with another drop in her gaze, and she stared at her bare feet.

Maybe his hair was so tangled because Dama hadn't had a chance to trim it like she used to?

"Dama hasn't been able to comb your hair in a long time," she said with a slight stammer, "I thought I would do it for her."

[Zem Vymes]

"I used to have much longer hair than this."

I ran my hands through it for a bit, and caught a few tangles.

"A beard too."

[Teagan s'Ilancy]

A beard? She stared at him, trying to imagine what he would look like now with a beard. She'd seen the few pictures her mother had, but looking at him now she found it hard to do. She scrambled up to sit beside him. It was warm on the spot he'd sat up from, and she idly rubbed the mussed blankets with the palm of her hand.

Wide eyes were cast upward to his, though not the blue that her mother's was. The questions came tumbling out then.

"Where did it go? Dama told me lots about you, and that you liked having a beard." Her voice dropped to a low whisper, "She said it tickled though."

[Zem Vymes]

"Well, I shaved it a while ago."

I unconciously rubbed my face.

"I really only wore it when I was with your Dama."

[Teagan s'Ilancy]

Wandering hands picked at a string that had sprouted from one of the blankets, and Tak pulled at it. Presently the little girl made herself more comfortable, pulling her legs up under her (much like her own mother often did).

"Oh."

A cautious look was sent to the doorway of the Cat, but Dama was too busy writing. She wouldn't be coming out to shoo her away from Ssem anytime soon. Her eyes went back to him, and she stared for short while.

"You should have stayed with Dama so I could see what it looks like."

[Zem Vymes]

That innocent comment got me thinking all far away, and I took on a wistful expression, before reaching down and mussing the little kid's hair.

"Yeah, you're probably right."

[Teagan s'Ilancy]

She smiled wide, then reached up to smooth down the errant locks that had sprung up from his touch.

"I know."

Scooting a little closer to him, she let out a short sigh. "Why did you leave?"

[Zem Vymes]

That was a question that I wasn't ready to answer, even to myself. I made something up that would serve as a placeholder.

"I needed to spend some time alone."

[Teagan s'Ilancy]

"Well now you're back."

She said it matter-of-factly, and gave his cheek a tiny poke with an outstretched finger as if to emphasize it even more.

"And you have Dama now too, right?"

[Zem Vymes]

"Yeah, I'm back now."

I allowed a cracked smile as I wrapped a big hand over her little finger.

[Teagan s'Ilancy]

His hand was warm and rough, and Tak used the moment to crawl the rest of the way into his lap.

"I heard Dama crying the night after you got back," her voice had gone to a whisper once more. The little girl looked thoughtful for a moment as she remembered the soft sounds of her mother sobbing next to her. She was supposed to have been asleep, and had apparently done a good enough job at pretending that Dama hadn't known.

A worried look came to her face then.

"You didn't leave because of me, did you?"

[Zem Vymes]

"No, it wasn't anything like that."

I gave her a reassuring squeeze.

"It was many years before. There were a lot of bad guys, and we spent years fighting them."

[Teagan s'Ilancy]

"Oh."

The thought that she had been the cause of him leaving Dama - after all of the stories she'd been told - had been something she was afraid to ask. But he said she wasn't, and so that made her feel better.

A sudden thought caused her to squirm in his hold then.

"Dama wrote something about you!"

With a little bit of wriggling, she slid from his lap and onto the deck. She'd seen Dama write something and wrap it up in a box that she'd said had some of his things in it... she could give them back!

"Ma'khehr a'da mi'ek," she spoke hurriedly before turning to head once more back to the Cat.

[Zem Vymes]

I took the hint, remembering my ill-used Bast'yr like I was learning to ride a speeder all over. She wanted me to wait up. I dutifully obeyed, wondering what in the core she could be rummaging through.

It was adorable, but still I had some trepidation about digging into a past that was certainly painful.

[Teagan s'Ilancy]

Bursting in through the open hatchway of the Cat, Tak stopped for a few seconds to regain her breath. Dama was still writing, but she looked up at her sudden appearance.

The little girl gave as innocent smile as she could. It was hard, since Dama seemed to always know everything that she was doing.

<"Are you and Daani staying out of trouble?">

A large sigh and her whole body seemed to shrug. <"Yesssss.">

Dama smiled, setting her pen down and turning slightly to watch as the little girl came the rest of the way in. A hand reached out and pulled her down into a loose hug.

<"Is that so."> Fingers tickled at her side, and Tak grinned wide. Dama thought she'd been playing with Daani!

<It's true,"> she giggled out. <"I'm getting stuff for us.">

Dama let her go, putting her back up on her bare feet. <Then get your stuff.">

Released, Tak innocently rummaged through her own chest of books and toys, keeping an eye on her mother until the elder Lupine turned her attentions once more to her own writing. Taking that as her cue, the little girl easily shifted her searchings to the underside of the bed, and soon enough her fingers wrapped around a small rectangular box. It'd been wrapped in soft linen, and pulling it out, Tak made sure Dama was still writing before tucking it under her arm. She'd fooled Dama for sure!

She was out of the shuttle as fast as her legs could carry her, and very nearly skipping down the steps, she smiled wide at Ssem.

He was still sitting on the cot, waiting for her.

[Zem Vymes]

I gave the little straw-haired scamp a funny look.

"What do you got there?"

It looked like a wooden box, wrapped up in cloth, and from the yellowing at the fringe, probably a good few years old.

[Teagan s'Ilancy]

She set the box next to him first so that she could climb back up onto the cot. It was tricky, but she managed well enough with his help, and soon she was once again sitting close beside him. The wrapped box was set in his lap, the aged linen still soft to the touch. It was a plain white mostly, except for gentle swirling designs along its' edges.

With careful hands, Tak began unwrapping it, but stopped to look up at him. Whatever was in there belonged to him, and even though she'd always wanted to see what was in the box, she thought it best for him to open it. She pulled her hands back, but still leaned in close.

"It's yours... you open it."

[Zem Vymes]

I took great ease in pulling the linen back, and undoing the metal clasp. I eased the lid open, to see a rolled up piece of paper, and a lightsaber.

My lightsaber. I recognized it instantly.

I sighed a little, my hands running over its familiar contours.

"Your Dama, she's told you stories then, yes?"

[Teagan s'Ilancy]

She nodded, eyes fixed on the lightsabre. "Mmm-hmm. Lots of stories."

She reached out to pluck the rolled paper out. It was new; she'd seen Dama write on it then put it in the box the day after Ssem arrived. With care she unrolled it. The handwriting was the familiar gentle scrawling that belonged to Dama, written in Bast'yr.

Without thinking, Tak began to read.

<"He's got a broken voice and a twisted smile,
Guess he's been that way for quite awhile,
Got blood on his shoes and mud on his brim,
Did he do it to himself or was it done to him?

People think he don't look well,
But all he needs from what I can tell,
Is someone to help wash away all the paint,
From his purple hands before it gets too late.

I saw him stand alone ... under a broke street light,
So sincere ... singing silent night,
But the trees were full ... and the grass was green,
It was the sweetest thing I had ever seen.

He may move slow,
But that don't mean he's going nowhere,
He may be moving slow,
But that don't mean he's going nowhere.">*

She looked up to his face. "Is this about you?"




*Norah Jones - Broken

[Zem Vymes]

"I don't know."

I did, but I wasn't really sure how to talk about these things. I looked at the scrawlings, thinking about what she meant.

"I can only guess so."

My hand started to shake, and I calmed it, gingerly rolling the paper up again.

"It's so different now. Everything has changed since last I seen her."

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

The short distraction of her daughter had been enjoyable, but knowing that she and Daani were happily playing on their own allowed her the chance to continue on with her own writing. It was rare that these moments occurred as it was.

It wasn't until after Tak had scampered back out that s'Il stopped. Her brow furrowed as she set down the stylus, and she looked up with a strange expression crossing her features. All of Tak's toys and books were in a single chest; why had she gone under the bed?

Rising stiffly, the Lupine made her way to the bed, kneeling so that she could see what - if anything - Tak had taken. Eye adjusting well enough to the dark, she scanned the covered flooring. A few of her daughter's picture books, a stuffed animal...

With a start she rose up. The box. The box was gone. She'd always kept it tucked away beneath her side of the bed, but now it was nowhere to be seen. Surely Tak knew better than to take something that she knew Dama treasured so dearly?!

Measured footsteps brought her to the doorway of the Cat.

"Teagan!"

Stepping out onto the elevated walkway, the Lupine turned her head first to one side. Not a soul, and she called out again, "Teagan?"

Turning to look the other way, s'Il froze. Sitting on the cot with Zem, Tak stared up at her - visibly startled at the usage of not her normal nickname, but her real name. And there was the box, sitting open in Zem's lap.

The Lupine's hands tightened imperceptibly on the rail at the sight.

[Zem Vymes]

My jawline tightened up a bit as she came into view. I set the paper back into the box with the lightsaber, carefully, and closed the lid. I set it aside and gave Tak a reassuring pat on the shoulder.

"Go on now, little one. Me and Dama are gonna talk."

I mussed her hair again.

[Teagan s'Ilancy]

A worried look was given to Ssem, but the little girl obeyed without a word. Would Dama be angry?

Sliding from her spot, Tak padded quickly away, eyes on Dama as she passed by on her way to find Sanis and Cirr.

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

She hit the bottom of the metal stairway, pausing to watch as Tak disappeared from view.

Biting her lip, the Lupine started forward again until she was standing in front of him. She stared down at the box for a few moments, then to Zem. Finally she lowered herself down to sit beside him.

A sigh, and she folded her hands into her lap, eyes closing.

"We've gotten old, haven't we."

It was all she could think of to say.

[Zem Vymes]

"I have, at least."

It wasn't much of a concession. Her race aged well, and she did so particuarly well. The years were harder on me.

"I never thought I'd get to see you dote on a child. You must have found a maternal instinct I didn't see. She's cute. Loves you to death."

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

At this she gave a small laugh. "I must have."

Looking in the direction that Tak had gone, s'Il shook her head. "I don't know how it happened. I never thought that... " she trailed off. She didn't need to express her confusion at having a child; he knew well enough.

She changed the subject.

"If I had known I would have stopped her," the Lupine nodded to the box.

[Zem Vymes]

"It's the gundark in the room. I can't pretend it isn't sitting there, staring at us both."

I retrieved the box, and carefully opened it again.

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

Watching him lift open the lid, s'Il let out a long breath.

"Please don't leave it behind again."

[Zem Vymes]

I paused.

"I did what I did, thinking it was the best for you. I almost destroyed myself, and I couldn't risk doing that to you. I felt something awful, just before I left you. We've both seen what the Dark Side can do to a person. I have to be sure I can carry that burden again."

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

Her eye grew soft.

"I know you can."

A hand came to rest on the outer edge of the box, close to his own hand. "That's why I kept it.

"Even if I never saw you again, I knew that you would have wanted it eventually."

Her hand came up then, to brush at the back of his neck as she'd done so many times before. Except now there was a degree of control to the touch; no more was there the wild abandon of her youth.

"You told me once that what you were, who you were, was defined by the Jedi. That this... " she gently picked the weapon up from its' resting place and placed it in his hand, "... was a part of your roots."

[Zem Vymes]

"I was ready to die four days ago. Now I'm sitting here with the choice to live again."

I felt the weapon's weight, and it's coolness in my hands. It felt so familiar.

"I spent enough time on my own to know that the galaxy is still dark. I couldn't escape that by shirking my responsibility, and I still grieved. I grieved for them, and for both of us. For what I gave up, and for you. How could I explain myself?"

I stood up, stepped away, and carefully activated the blade.

"There's nothing gained in grief. I have to return."

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

She watched him rise and move away before thumbing the actuator. The blade sprang to life, as brilliant as it had ever been.

Looking at him now, though aged and driven hard by their years apart, s'Il couldn't help but smile.

She remained where she was, content to sit and watch him.

"You look the same as the day you left."

She dipped her head in respect. "To me at least."

[Zem Vymes]

I smiled in the light of the blade.

"You have forgiving eyes, and I thank you for that."

Giving the blade a good twirl, I brought it to ready again, and deactivated it.

"As long as you're patient. I'm a little rusty."

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

Another smile, but this time the Lupine cast her eyes downwards to the open box, the rolled paper waiting to be taken up. She lifted it into her hands.

"You've read this... ?"

His silence was answer enough, and she nodded.

"Then you know how I feel about you; patience was never and will never be an issue."

[Zem Vymes]

I smiled at that.

"You've always seen something in me that baffled me. Thank you."

I placed a hand on her shoulder, drawing into a hug that I'd needed for too long.