Snowblind

[s'Il]

She was cold; not necessarily miserable, but definitely cold. She missed the temperate climate of the planet that she and Zem had lived upon for the previous year, though not quite as much as she missed Schwartzweld. Even if their stay on the Lupine homeworld had been relatively short, she'd never forgotten it. After all, it was the first time she'd been able to step foot on the planet of her people.

But now the cold. Dan had said the planet's name was Hoth, however she'd not listened beyond that, as the thought of snowswept tundras and white mountainscapes caused her to balk inwardly. She'd never seen snow, let alone been out in it.

And now she was.

Astride a rather unruly taun-taun, the Lupine allowed it to lope along in its' curious stride. It'd not taken long for her to aquaint herself with the finer points of staying in the saddle, and now - despite the assault on her nose that the creatures caused - she was becoming accostumed to it.

Coming up over a snowbank, s'Il reigned her mount to a stop. From behind a mask and dark tinted snow goggles she surveyed the landscape around her, and catching sight of her companion, the Lupine urged the animal forward so that she would intercept him. Both had been given the duty of ground patrol for the week, and she already could not wait until it was over.

It only took a few minutes until she'd slowed to a stop, her taun-taun sidling up against her partner's own. She grunted to herself, then lifted her voice so that she could be heard through the mask protecting her from the cold.

"I think the Empire is smart to stay away from this place. It's too cold."

[Zem-El Vymes]

"I'm inclined to agree."

I was taking to the cold a bit better than s'Il. My beard was now quite full and somewhat long, providing my face with an excellent covering against the elements. Even still, it was now laced with ice and snow.

I squinted in my snow goggles at the horizon. Nothing.

"I've got one more ridge to run, and we're done with this sector. Frankly, I'm ready to tuck in."

[s'Il]

"I'll help."

Which essentially meant that she would happily ride alongside him instead of actively help to get the job done quicker. It wasn't something that she did often, but once in a while she found she had to fight to get the two of them alone for any amount of time.

Staying alongside, s'Il gave him a sidelong glance. Her mask was pulled away as the Lupine figured she could brave the chill for a small while.

"Is this what you expected it to be?" She asked as they rode on.

[Zem-El Vymes]

I pulled up on the reigns, and looked back to her, wincing through a gust, and speaking when it subsided.

"I've seen enough action in the clone wars to know it wouldn't be easy. We're not eating bugs yet."

I thought again, and continued.

"Though this isn't that much better."

[s'Il]

"Oh, well..."

She bit her lip, looking to the side and the view of... white. Her eyes went to Zem then. Sometimes he looked so comical, and if it wasn't for the topic of their conversation, she would have probably laughed.

He was just so different now than from when they'd stumbled upon each other in the Temple.

"I meant this whole Rebellion thing. Seems like all we've done lately is hide from the Empire and everyone else in this galaxy."

[Zem-El Vymes]

"We hit that star destroyer, and the information we had was used on another three. That's a bloody enough nose for me."

I righted myself as we made the ridge.

"Still, I'm about done with this backwater. We're losing equipment and resources to the cold, and there's been no sign of the Empire in a month."

[s'Il]

The view from the ridge was much like every other; white mountains, snowy tundras, and a blast to the face from unrelenting winds. Instinctively closing her eyes, s'Il turned away from the gust.

There wasn't much to see of the surrounding area; certainly nothing related to the Empire at least. Wrestling with her animal to keep it still, she huffed a breath from her nose before speaking once more.

"Where do you think Dan is going to take us next?"

[Zem-El Vymes]

"I think we're working to something big. Hoth is remote, but remote for a reason."

I looked back at her, shielding myself from a heavy gust.

"From what I've heard, we're preparing for an offensive. It'll probably be on one of the few outer rim governorships, but it's going to be significant."

[s'Il]

Zem always knew more than she did when it came to the affairs of the Rebellion they had joined with. Truth be told, she preferred it that way. It wasn't that she had no interest in what was going on around her, but it seemed that she was more preoccupied with simply watching the activities of those around her. She found herself watching Dan frequently enough; watching him interact with his men and in turn how they reacted to him.

Mostly her observing was done from afar so that none knew they were being gazed upon.

She was mostly drawn to Zem though; he was her master after all, and she studied everything he did and said... how he spoke and the different tones his voice would take.

Now was partly one of those times.

She urged her mount into a quicker pace so that she came up alongside him, her leg brushing against his.

"Is this something the Force is telling you that we must do?"

[Zem-El Vymes]

"Destiny has a sort of weight to it. The things we've seen and done have stuck to it, and it's all rolled down the mountainside of time. I think this is inevitable. We can't keep this flame hidden and make it mean anything. Eventually it has to catch."

[s'Il]

"It seems to me as though it's caught just fine. There is a rebellion, isn't there?"

She blew out a long breath.

"Or is it not good enough?" Worried that she might sound contrary, s'Il went on before he could answer. "I mean, you said before that we were the spark, and that we had to help keep others hopeful. Hasn't Dan done that, and now it's a matter of keeping the 'flame' alight?"

[Zem-El Vymes]

I righted my animal about, with the patrol now finished.

"It's all been growing to this. We have yet to face the Empire in a decisive fight. We are going to have to do that at some point. It may be sooner or later, but my feelings point very strongly to sooner. If we win, it sets an example to follow for every being that is ready to fight for freedom."

[s'Il]

She stared at him for a few moments, then carefully reached up to slide her goggles up. The sun's glare off of the snow was intense, and she narrowed her eyes.

"Do your feelings tell you anything else?"

[Zem-El Vymes]

I sat in silence, thinking for a moment. Then I reciprocated, pushing my own goggles out of the way.

"I feel...that's a loaded question."

Again with those feelings. And yet I couldn't quite tell this time around if it was entirely hers that I was feeling.

[s'Il]

"Well... "

She bit her lip, looking down at the saddle horn.

"I don't mean it to be," she finally offered, "I just thought -" she stopped abruptly, trying to think through her next words.

"We've been together for a while now, and I mean; I know what the code says about certain things... "

She floundered then.

[Zem-El Vymes]

So it was about that, then. I looked at her.

"I won't lie. I have given it some thought."

[s'Il]

She'd dodged the issue for so long that it was now an obstacle for her to overcome, talking plainly.

Yet, even though he had thought about it, she wasn't entirely sure if he would stray from the Jedi Code on such a thing.

The Lupine looked up over the tops of her eyes at him before her mount sidestepped. Slightly annoyed at the disruption, s'Il pulled the animal into a standstill once more as she locked eyes with him.

This time though, when she spoke her voice held none of its' previous nervousness.

"I'm lonely."

[Zem-El Vymes]

"It's our nature. Or at least, it was."

I looked into the distance.

"Perhaps that part of the code is now an anachronism. I've meditated on it, but haven't found a reasonable conclusion in my heart. There are two things I cherish more than any, and I have to know that I won't have to forsake one of them."

[s'Il]

"Maybe you just have to have faith," she said, repeating one of the many lessons he'd given to her.

Neglecting to replace her goggles, s'Il nudged her taun-taun forward. The cold had finally gotten to her, and she was ready to end the day's duties.

[Zem-El Vymes]

"I do have faith. That's the problem. My decision would be easier if I didn't."

I snapped my ride's reigns and headed back for base camp.

"Wouldn't you like to talk about this somewhere warmer?"

[s'Il]

Keeping at his side, the Lupine rode in silence.

She would not beg for such companionship; that was below her. As it was, if all that she was allowed was his friendship, than she would be as accepting of it as she could be.

They didn't have too much of a distance to cover, as they'd started their rounds at the furthest point away and worked their way slowly back through each sector. The base that the Rebels had built was suitable enough, and despite the nature of the planet's climate, she'd found the underground complex enjoyable to navigate.

They were nearing one of the yawning bay doors that remained open beneath a large rock outcropping when she spoke again. There was no pleading in her tone; instead it was a simple statement.

"You're all I have."

[Zem-El Vymes]

"If you keep thinking that way, then you will be correct."

I dismounted my tauntaun once we were within base.

"We've made close friends with people who share our vested interest. As a Jedi, I can't close myself off. You can't either. There is real danger in what you want, and what I want too. The Council set this edict for very good reasons. We can't forsake the ones we protect for each other. That isn't our way."

I paused, and turned away.

"Understand I'm not being aloof out of cruelty. I'm at the precipice of violating inviolate law. I need to know if there's justification in that hipocrisy."

[s'Il]

Handing the reigns to one of the handlers after she'd dismounted, s'Il stared at her master's back. For a few short moments her shoulders sagged and her eyes glinted with tender concern. He was always so dedicated to others that she had to wonder if he would ever allow himself something that he himself wanted.

Removing her gloves, she pulled her goggles off completely as she stepped past him.

"It's ok to be selfless," she said gently, turning around as she walked, "but it's also ok to be selfish sometimes too."

Her words weren't said out of resentment; instead they were easy and soft. Turning about on her heel so that she was walking forward once more - heading deeper into the base - s'Il reached a hand up to unzip the heavy coat she wore and did her best to shake any excess snow from herself.

[Zem-El Vymes]

I just watched her, unable to reply. As an afterthought, I removed my jacket, dusting my beard of ice and snow as I did.

"I think it's time for you to take the trials."

[s'Il]

She slowed to a stop, having pulled off her jacket. Her eyes went up to lock with his. The trials? She knew enough about them, and they made her nervous.

"The trials? Already?"

She made a face, reaching out to pluck a piece of ice that he'd missed from his beard.

"You're changing the subject," she offered weakly.

[Zem-El Vymes]

"Am I? You're treading into territory where I can't teach you. You're going to have to do, as I do, and you can't do that while still under my charge."

[s'Il]

She looked down, bringing in a long breath as she mulled over his words. Deep down she knew that he was right, but her mind still raced as she thought of it.

Her brow furrowed.

"When?"

[Zem-El Vymes]

"Tomorrow, if you're ready for it."

I sincerely believed she was. She had progressed so far since I'd begun to teach her.

[s'Il]

With her coat draped over an arm and her gloves and goggles in hand, s'Il kept pace with him as they went deeper into the rebel base.

Now it was her turn to remain silent, not exactly knowing how to respond to what he'd said. "Tomorrow is good," she eventually responded while running a free hand through her hair; in the time since being cut, it'd grown just past her shoulders. She mostly kept it pulled back, but more often than not let it down when out in the cold.

Rounding a corner, the Lupine reached her hand out rather unexpectedly, grabbing at his sleeve and pulling him to a stop with her.

She looked up at him.

"You've done nothing but give since all of this started. If you keep on like this, how much of yourself is there going to be left down the line if you don't recieve as well? The Jedi from before the Purge didn't have to deal with what you've shouldered, and if you ask me I'd think that that makes many of their old rules and edicts null and void. Things change, and we have to change as well if we're to be able to continue through all of this."

A pause.

"When we were on Schwartzweld, you once told me that what I saw was what I got.

"You never had to be anything more than who you are, for me."

[Zem-El Vymes]

"The purpose of giving is not to receive. It's never been about reciprocation."

I looked at her with a tired expression, and wormed out of my jacket.

"It was never supposed to be easy. Easy to practice, or easy to understand.

If you had it all to do over again all those years ago, would you?"

[s'Il]

"Of course I would."

Despite all of the hardships she'd endured, the Lupine would not change anything even if given the chance.

His look of exhaustion wasn't lost on her, and s'Il frowned.

"You say it isn't about reciprocation, but what you're doing is emptying you from the inside out. All that's left is going to be a husk of a man, and then you won't be able to help anyone.

"Why can't you just accept the fact that someone wants to give back?"

[Zem-El Vymes]

"Life is as beautiful as it can be ugly. You won't have to worry about me emptying out. I find renewal every day."

[s'Il]

Deflated, s'Il let her shoulders slump. In some strange way she felt defeated.

"I hope for your sake that you truly do."

For her, there was nothing left to say, and the Lupine turned to continue on in the direction they'd been heading. Her small quarters were near enough now, and without waiting for him to follow or answer in any way, she let her pace take her away from him.

[Zem-El Vymes]

"Wait."

I put a hand on her shoulder.

"I'm not shutting you out. You are a big part of that renewal, you know. You alone have empathy for my situation, and I hope that is the same for you as well. You're not only my student, you're my best friend."

[s'Il]

Without a word in answer, the Lupine stared first into his eyes, then her gaze traveled down to his hand. Her own hands came up to lift it from her shoulder and she rested the side of her face in his palm, her eyes tightly closed as she commited the feeling of his touch to her memory.

[General Dan]

"There you are."

Dan approached the embracing Jedi, his heavy parka unhooded. He had a rosy complexion as many did, thanks to the occasioned exposure to wind chapping and such. Still, he managed to keep his cool composure in spite of the arrangements.

"How were the sector patrols? Anything turn up?"

[s'Il]

an's appearance was impeccably ill-timed. With a sigh, s'Il released her hold on Zem though she didn't step away from him.

"It's the same as it was the day we first got here; white and cold."

Presently she did put distance between herself and her master.

"You picked a good planet to hide from the Empire on."

[General Dan]

"Yes I did." Dan agreed, aware that it was more of a complaint as to the hostile nature of the ice world than any appraisal of its tactical worth.

"Fortunately, it's given us the breathing room we need. We're nearly ready to mount our first offensive."

[s'Il]

His intrusion was taken with far more grace than when they had first joined with him. It seemed he had a knack for showing up at just the wrong times.

She blinked, quelling the feeling of annoyance that had flaired ever so briefly, and folded her hands together beneath the heavy coat draped over them.

"You say 'nearly'. When are you planning on executing this endeavor?"

[General Dan]

"I expect to link up with two other battalions and three other fleets within the day. Once we are joined, we'll make our first attack - at Kurilon. A day, two days tops."

[s'Il]

A day or two. Hopefully that would give her enough time to take the trials, and s'Il found her stance soften, her weight being shifted to one leg.

She looked up to Zem. "Do we have time?"

[Zem-El Vymes]

I nodded.

"We'll have enough time."

As an afterthought, I informed Dan of the proceedings.

"We'll be indisposed for a while. I have some important training to complete with s'Il."

It wasn't a request, and Dan was keen enough to simply nod at it.

[s'Il]

Using the silence after Zem's words, s'Il reached a hand out to grab a hold of her master's sleeve. A gentle tug made it clear that she wished for them to leave Dan's presence.

Suddenly, she was more nervous about what was to come during the trials than the offensive that Dan had just spoken of.

"Let's go," she mumbled.

[Zem-El Vymes]

We went along to attend to the rest of the day's matters. I could tell that she was eager, yet held a sense of trepidation for tomorrow's trial. As for myself, I searched my feelings to see if I was truly resolute that it was her time to face them, and I felt assured of it.

[s'Il]

Night came quickly, the sun dipping below the frozen horizon. In her own room, s'Il lay in her makeshift bed, curled in on herself as she fell into an easy slumber. She slept peacefully, unbroken by any sort of dream as her breathing remained shallow.

And when dawn broke, the Lupine still lay, on her side and buried in as many blankets as she'd been able to scrounge when they'd first arrived. Upon waking, s'Il didn't immediately open her eyes; instead she simply lay unmoving. Another few moments passed before she rolled over to her back to stare at the ceiling.

[Zem-El Vymes]

I was already awake and dressed, kneeling at the doorway to her quarters. Even in the hallway, the ambient temperature was dismal, and I could see my breath in the air.

[s'Il]

Quick to pull on her clothes, s'Il did her best to stave off the chill in the room. So used to going about her days barefoot, the act of putting on boots every morning had become a very regrettable chore, and she silently prayed that wherever their next stop was she'd be able to fore go the ritual of footwear once more.

Her lightsabre was clipped to her belt without thought; in fact, everything she did to prepare for the day on this frozen planet had become habit.

Opening the door, s'Il let a hand rest on the frame as she stared wordlessly down at Zem.

[Zem-El Vymes]

I rose to my feet, and looked at my padawan.

"Are you ready to face your trial?"

I didn't need a response. I could see it in her expression. There was trepidation, but she wouldn't turn away from it.

[s'Il]

Her hand fell from the frame to rest at her side, and she stared up into his face. No words needed to be said. She knew the time had come, and her eyes would tell him just that.

[Zem-El Vymes]

"What is your greatest fear?"

I needed her to say it, and to drag it from the shadows and into the light, obvious to all.

[s'Il]

There was a moment of hesitation. This was a question that warranted an answer that she'd not exactly been ready to bring out. Hidden deep in the layers of her being, s'Il had walled it off with such resolve that even the act of thinking about it was a task.

"... To lose everyone close to me and die alone."

[Zem-El Vymes]

I led her to an alcove, set apart from the residential quarters of the base, and asked her to kneel.

"I'm going to induce a state of controlled dreaming within you. I want you to think about your oath, and your teachings. For now, think nothing of this fear. You carry with you only what you choose to bring along."

[s'Il]

Obeying quietly, s'Il knelt before him, both legs drawn beneath her as she folded her hands into her lap.

She looked to the side for a moment, mulling over his words while staring at the wall through half-closed eyes. Only what I take with me...

Her gaze shifted to the floor, then back up to her master. The sudden thought of failure intruded into her mind then, and her heart quickened its' pace. If she didn't succeed in this... but that thought was swiftly quelled and pushed away. If she dwelled on failure then that was what would happen. Instead, the Lupine allowed memories of the their time alone together to reaffirm herself.

Her eyes closed then, and soon enough even those thoughts were swept away. Like a fresh canvas, she waited for Zem to begin painting.

[Zem-El Vymes]

She entered a world in which I was already waiting for her. She saw faces of those she cared for. Faces that had come and gone, and those who were still here. Myself, Master Windu, Dan, and friends long passed at the Academy.

Master Windu stepped forward, and spoke to her.

"I am dead."

He spread his robe to reveal a mortal lightsaber wound.

"And yet I speak to you even now."

[s'Il]

Taken aback by those standing before her, s'Il stood quiet for a short while; she'd certainly not expected this. Her eye took in Master Windu as he spoke, and she found she had to consciously keep herself from stepping closer to him. His right hand had been severed, a cauterized stump the only thing remaining... so that was what she'd felt on that horrible day; that phantom, searing pain through her forearm.

Out of habit she ran a hand along her arm.

"You're dead," she spoke quietly, if to reaffirm it to herself the fact that he was but an apparition. "I felt you die."

Her eyes scanned the small group of people. She was surprised to see Dan's face among them, but it wasn't him that her gaze locked on to. There was someone - toward the back yet taller by a head than the rest - that made her catch her breath.

"Papa... " she whispered, and without thought moved past Master Windu toshoulder her way past the others.

[Zem-El Vymes]

s'Il's father spoke to her as she saw him.

"You remember us, but have you learned from us?"

[s'Il]

Stopping before the elder Lupine, s'Il stared up at him, taking in his image. Just as she always remembered him, he was tall and regal almost, shoulders squared back and head held high.

"I have," the Lupine choked out. The sight of him was very nearly overwhelming.

[Zem-El Vymes]

"You look surprised to see me. As if I have left."

Her father looked down at her with a stoic, paternal expression

[s'Il]

"I... " her voice faltered.

She pulled in a long breath, carefully reaching out to open the front of his long overcoat. She knew what would be there, but it still caused tears to form in her eyes as her fingertips brushed against the jagged holes in his chest. She pulled her hand away abruptly.

Inadvertantly she switched from Basic to her own language, her voice only barely audible. <"You didn't leave, you were taken away; you were killed.">

[Zem-El Vymes]

"I am not away. I have never been away."

He reached down to emphasize his own mortal wounds.

"This is something fleeting. It's inconsequential. You know who I am, and I have never left you."

[s'Il]

"I know that," she said quickly, "... but it doesn't make things any easier."

She knew rightly enough from the stories he had read to her that theirs would not be an easy existence. At the same time, she knew that to mourn his loss was not what she was taught to do, and the Lupine wiped a hand over her eyes.

She smiled then, suddenly uplifted by his presence.

[Zem-El Vymes]

"Everything that you've been taught" Master Windu was speaking again "has been to face the day that our physical selves will die. You aren't the flesh on your bones. Your 'self' is made of your deeds and your thoughts.

I now spoke.

"Admiration, honor, loyalty, love. These things draw us together, and that connection will outlast my last breath, as long as you take our time shared to heart. We can never leave, we can never die, and we can never part. So long as we believe."

[s'Il]

At this, the Lupine turned on her heel to look at both Master Windu and Zem.

What her Masters said were truths that she could identify with. The very nature of her own people was grounded in remembering those who came before and what they did. Preserving them through memory by either the written word or what you took with you in your own thoughts.

She bowed her head.

"I understand."

[Zem-El Vymes]

Slowly, the people around her began to fade away, one by one. We spoke in unison.

"Remember us with your thoughts, let your thoughts inspire your deeds. You will never be alone, s'Ilancy."

[s'Il]

Without thought she frowned, watching as the handful of people around her faded away. Why did everyone call her by her last name?

Pursing her lips, the Lupine crossed her arms over her chest and lowered herself to rest on her haunches. There had to be more to the trials than this; that much she knew. But what would happen next?

[Zem-El Vymes]

"Open your eyes."

[s'Il]

She heard the voice; it was soothing and familiar. She shifted slightly, and reached up to rub her hands over her face. It was cold. Obediently s'Il opened her eyes.

[Zem-El Vymes]

I smiled at her.

"Are you ready to be bestowed the title of Jedi Knight?"

[s'Il]

She stared up at him dumbfounded.

"That can't be all of it," she said incredully.

[Zem-El Vymes]

I dropped down to her level.

"The trial is in your deeds. You know exactly what it means to be a Jedi Knight. I have taught you everything I can teach you. If you are able to apply that, then you have passed that trial."

[s'Il]

The Lupine stared into his eyes for a few moments, then down to her hands as they rested in her lap.

"Then my trial is my life... ?"

[Zem-El Vymes]

"The most appropriate trial there can be. The only one you have to prove it to is yourself."

I rested a hand on her shoulder.

"If you believe it, and you practice it, there is nothing else to say."

[s'Il]

For some reason, it all seemed so anticlimactic.

"I expected more," was her quiet admission.

"Some test of faith or some such."

And indeed her posture and tense muscles testified to that fact. Even her mind was a whirlwind of thought.

[Zem-El Vymes]

"What do you have to prove to me that you don't have to prove to yourself?"

[s'Il]

"I don't know," she mumbled, shoulders sagging slightly.

"Maybe it's just expectaions is all."

[Zem-El Vymes]

I smiled.

"What trial would it be if it was expected?"

[s'Il]

"I don't know," she said with the barest of a laugh.

She settled a bit more on her haunches, and leaned back a small bit.

One hand came up then, to wipe at the side of her face. She had no idea what to do, and her indecision was easily evident in the expression on her features.

"Then if my trial is to be my life and how I conduct myself, what next?"

[Zem-El Vymes]

"Then you live."

I leaned forward, and kissed her.

[s'Il]

The shock at his action was strong, and she pulled back for only a moment to stare into his eyes. Yet it was shortlived, as she threw her arms around his neck and returned his kiss with her own.

No matter what came next, the Lupine knew that the two would face whatever hardships there were to come together.

[Zem-El Vymes]

I kissed her fully, throwing tradition to the wind. She had been right. The crisis of the moment was more pressing than any traditions of the order.

[s'Il]

Reluctantly she pushed him away. She didn't know how long she had been kneeling, but it'd been long enough for her legs to begin tingling.

A hand still gripped his sleeve though, refusing to release him completely as she rose up to stand.

"I've been waiting for you to do that since the first day I saw you," she laughed lightly, turning to stare at the far wall before her eyes closed, and the Lupine brought in a long breath.

[Zem-El Vymes]

I held her close, feeling her warmth.

"I know."

It had taken a lot of reflecting to bring me to this. Reconciling my own feelings with traditional teachings had led me to the conclusion that my destiny was to arrive at that crossroads, and to forge a new path.

[s'Il]

s'Il smiled at the feeling of such closeness, her eyes closing as she buried her face into the layers of clothing covering his chest.

Soon enough though she lifted her chin to look up at him, and an arm snaked around to the back of his head, fingers twirling the hair at the nape of his neck.

"I think we're late for morning patrol," she grinned.

[Zem-El Vymes]

I wrapped my arms around her middle.

"Are we? I hadn't noticed."

[s'Il]

"I would imagine that we are," she blinked, "and if we aren't I'm sure we're soon to be."

The Lupine contorted her upper half then, leaning back so that she was afforded a view of the corridor from their spot in the alcove. Looking left first, then right, she was almost certain that Dan would show up unannounced yet again. Satisfied that the rebel leader - or anyone else for that matter - was nowhere in sight, she leaned forward once more into Zem's body.

"Besides; I didn't see him just now, but Dan is gonna come looking for us if we're not out there at some point."

[Zem-El Vymes]

I smiled, laughing a little as I kissed her forehead.

"I guess we ought to earn our keep in this little rebellion then."

[s'Il]

With renewed vigor, s'Il pulled him from the alcove with a firm grip on his hand. She'd left her heavy coat in her quarters, and needed to retrieve it before they made their way to the stables.

Everything seemed so much brighter, so much more full of life, and she wound an arm around his back as they walked side by side, holding on tightly.

[Zem-El Vymes]

We made it to the stables after bundling up appropriately, and went off to our patrol. Once again, it was as stark and uneventful as ever, but we both seemed to be in good spirits. The weather was typically dreadful, but with Dan saying the offensive was beginning, it was clear that our stay on Hoth was reaching its conclusion.

[s'Il]

As they rode, the Lupine couldn't help the bantha-wide smile hidden behind the mask she wore. For as dreadfull as Hoth had been, she could not have imagined the events that had taken place upon it to happen so soon. Or at all even. She'd been almost certain that Zem would stick rigidly to the old code, but his actions and what she felt from him now said so much otherwise that she found herself reciprocating with the feelings that she'd walled away inside of herself for so long.

As they crested one of the many snowdunes along their route, she reigned her animal to a stop, staring out over the tundras that spread out below them.

[Zem-El Vymes]

I shared the view with her.

"Calm before the storm, I suppose."

I looked at her and smiled beneath my balaclava. I could not take the upcoming events lightly. She'd fought ever since the purge began, but she'd never truly known war. This would be my second. I'd seen enough to last a lifetime since that, and that made our recent discovery of each other a bittersweet one.

"Nothing two Jedi Knights can't overcome."

[s'Il]

s'Il gave a warm chuckle at that, and removed her mask so that she could speak more easily.

"Strange, those words - 'Jedi Knights'."

She'd become so used to being called a padawan that this new title felt far beyond foreign. She stared at the landscape, knowing that the tranquility of this morning was not to last; that the galaxy would come crashing down upon all of their heads with terrible force.

She gave him a sidelong look then.

"Just not something that I'm used to hearing just yet." She knew he would understand; after all, he'd not insisted that she call him master as he'd said he had to grow into the title.

[Zem-El Vymes]

"Hopefully it's something we both start hearing more of soon."

The notion that we were possibly some of the last Jedi left alive was clear. We had not only the sake of the galaxy to fight for, but for the mandate of the guardian class. The Jedi's very existence was on the bring of annihilation.

[s'Il]

"Aye, " she agreed absently, still taken with the view.

Soon enough however she broke her reverie to give him one last ghostly smile before replacing the covering over her face and nudging her mount forward.

They were reaching the halfway point of their patrol, and s'Il wished to finish it so that she and Zem could spend the rest of the 'calm before the storm' as he'd called it, together.

[Zem-El Vymes]

I pulled up on my reigns suddenly, and looked out in the distance. I couldn't see anything, but I swore I could feel a person's presence.

"Do we have another patrol out?"

[s'Il]

Tugging her own taun taun to a halt as well, s'Il cast a wary gaze in the direction that Zem was looking.

"None that I know of," she answered, confused.

She stretched out with her thoughts then, as her eyes had failed to spot anyone on the horizon.

It was there; faint at first, but as she concentrated, the Lupine was able to
gain a stronger hold on the presence that she knew Zem was feeling as well.

She frowned then.

"It feels different... "

[Zem-El Vymes]

"I'm gonna call it in."

I punched up my comm, and spoke loud over the wind.

"This is Indigo Three, grid four seven. Respond Base."

"We have you Indigo Three, report."

I squinted my eyes.

"I think we have movement in grid four eight. Is there another patrol out in this sector?"

"You're all that's around for ten kilometers, Indigo Three."

[s'Il]

Her frown deepened and s'Il squinted out once more at the barren snowscape. Her mount balked then, shifting back a few steps as she struggled with the reigns to keep it in place. Zem's was doing the same thing.

The Lupine reached out further then, settling her outward thoughts out over the land around them. Whatever she had felt before was gone now, and in confusion she sought it out with a stronger tap in the Force. There was simply no way that the both of them could have imagined the presence they'd felt.

[Zem-El Vymes]

"I'm gonna go check it out."

I urged along my tauntaun, and after a little fuss, it went trotting in that direction.

[s'Il]

She held back her animal for a few moments, staring after him, but soon enough followed. Coming level with him, she shouted over the wind in her face.

"What did you feel?"

Was it that same slightly off center impression that she'd gotten, or something else?

[Zem-El Vymes]

I paused.

"I'm not really sure. Definitely sentient, so not one of those wampa things."

[s'Il]

Well at least he'd gotten somewhat of the same feeling as her.

Squinting through her goggles in the hopes of spotting whatever it was, the Lupine bit her lip.

"I don't see anything."

[Zem-El Vymes]

"Well, I'm gonna check it out. First real action we've had on these patrols, so I might as well satisfy my curiosity."

[s'Il]

She wouldn't stop him; in fact she wished to know what it was herself, and urging her mount to a faster pace, s'Il kept level with him.

She stretched out with her feelings once more, trying to pinpoint the source of the presence.

[Zem-El Vymes]

We drove on through the snow, and crossed the nearest ridge. As we reached the crest, I could just make out something that wasn't a shade of white or grey.

"There."

I pointed ahead. It looked vaguely person-shaped, and looked to be trudging through the snow.

"Who's out this deep without a tauntaun? Somebody's got a death wish."

[s'Il]

Following the direction he was pointing in, s'Il spotted the figure. Her eyes narrowed at the sight; so used to seeing the landscape bare of any living thing she'd become that what she was seeing now seemed utterly unreal. She surmised that even if it'd been a wampa she'd still feel the same way.

Without a word the Lupine spurred her taun taun ahead. Bowing her head into the headwind that had sprung up, she kept her balance in the saddle easily as the animal skittered its' way down the ridge and toward the lone figure.

[Zem-El Vymes]

Suddenly, I jerked my reins hard. The beast yelped, and skidded to a halt. Moving quickly, I snatched up my macrobinoculars and zoomed in for full effect. I could see something glowing red. Something the man was carrying.

It was a lightsaber.

[s'Il]

With her head down to avoid the wind, s'Il failed to notice that Zem had pulled his mount to a stop. As well, she'd not seen what it was he had, and she continued down the slope until the ground levelled out.

She looked up, expecting to see Zem at her side, but he was absent. Turning in the saddle, she stared back up to the ridge where he had remained, a pair of macros at his eyes.

Her torso twisted yet again to look at the stranger coming closer, and she narrowed her eyes as she too now saw what Zem had first noticed. Jaw clenching tight, the Lupine pulled steadily back on her reigns, and the taun taun protested with a shake of its' shaggy head as it slowly began to back away.

[Zem-El Vymes]

I was off my mount in a second.

"Get back to base, s'Il."

[s'Il]

The Lupine stared down at him, and with a scowl she shook her head.

Her eyes went back up to the newcomer, and she let out a low breath before dismounting as well.

[Zem-El Vymes]

"Ah hell."

I punched up my comm again.

"Indigo Three in grid four eight to base. We have an intruder. Back up our position immediately."

So we were in it to win it. I trudged down the hill with s'Ilancy; Jedi Knights all.

[s'Il]

The snow came up well past her ankles, but s'Il ignored it as she kept pace with Zem. Her hands had been stuffed into the pockets of her heavy jacket, and she kept her head inclined downwards to ward off the stinging winds. She'd slid her goggles up, braving the sun's reflective brightness, and she stared at the still approaching figure over the tops of her blue eyes.

No move was made toward her own lightsabre, instead she cut a casual figure despite the sight before them.

She could already tell that whatever this being was, it wasn't what had attacked them on Rumigaar. The knowledge of that at least was enough to put her mind at ease for the moment.

[Zem-El Vymes]

"You're a long way from shelter, friend. Perhaps you should get out of the chill?"

I made no overt aggressive movement, but my shoulders were wide in anticipation for needing to do just that.

[s'Il]

Her body was not so much tense or wound up as it was simply ready. She pulled her mask away to let it dangle from her neck, and squinting, the Lupine frowned.

One hand came from her pocket then, and she held it up and out to her side as her thoughts stretched beyond, warping the windswept snow away from them so that they could get a better look at this new individual.

[Darth Decepis]

"What are two Jedi Knights doing in such a miserable place?"

The dark-clad figure continued to walk forward, the red light of his blade casting eerie highlights over his black robe.

[Zem-El Vymes]

How did he...he must surely be a Sith. One of the agents of the Emperor? The threat was suddenly beyond dire, and I removed my lightsaber at once, sparking the blade to life.

"That's a question you won't be around to have answered, evil one."

[s'Il]

Her hand instantly dropped to her side, and s'Il curled her fingers around the hilt of her blade. She kept it dormant however; this encounter had not come to blows just yet.

Lifting her head, she scented the air around them. Mixed in with the cold was something repugnant that even without the aide of the Force, her Lupine senses took an immediate dislike to.

[Darth Decepis]

"Such confidence! Surely you have forgotten how few you truly are now. The Jedi are nearly annihilated throughout the universe. Are you so eager to reduce your numbers today?"

Decepis walked toward s'Ilancy.

[s'Il]

Wordlessly she ignited her sabre, yet held the tip downwards. She watched him approach, standing standing her ground solidly.

The smell grew stronger until she finally huffed a breath out through her nose. If his intent was to cause her to back away, than the Lupine was determined to deny him that.

She still remained silent however, his goading remarks taken in without any visible reaction.

[Zem-El Vymes]

I wasn't going to have any of it, and I charged him, swinging heavily downward in a decisive strike. The Sith, despite his slight form, met my blade easily. I was taken aback at his strength.

[s'Il]

Spurred by Zem's actions, the Lupine surged ahead, her sabretip dragging through the snow and leaving a trail of evaporating steam behind her. Her blade came up at the last moment, as she intended to cut the Sith's legs out from beneath him while keeping in tandem with Zem's own attack.

[Darth Decepis]

Decepis retreated back deftly, driving his blade into the hard-packed ice as he did, so that not only would he parry s'Il's undercutting, but the blade would vaporize the ice, creating a violent burst of steam to obfuscate his enemies.

[s'Il]

It was a tactic that she knew well enough, and the Lupine swept her free hand up in an arc. The Force obeyed her silent command, and the steam split away as if cut up the center by a knife.

Their adversary no longer hidden, she moved without hesitation, and her sabre slid up the length of his own red blade on a path that would take it through his wrist.

[Zem-El Vymes]

I worked off of s'Il's advance and cut him off at the flank, but he managed to surprise the both of us with a deft side-leap, which twirled him out of the way and to s'Il's right, so that my blade met hers on a low cross. I quickly cut upwards to deflect a lethal counterstrike that would have clipped the lupine in the ear.

[s'Il]

Ducking low despite Zem's saving block, s'Il sidestepped away from the Sith. A year ago she would have continued her drive inwards, unrelenting in her attacks, but the older Jedi's teaching had taken a firm root in her and she held herself at bay. Her eyes dissected the man in black's movements, the way he held himself and the skill with which he used his weapon.

Seconds later she planted her feet firmly in the snow, calling on the Force as she did so to freeze the white powder around her lower legs and hold them in place.

Reaching out then, the Lupine let her mind wrap itself around the Sith, like invisible hands, and she wrenched as hard as she could, pulling him off balance and toward her waiting blade.

[Darth Decepis]

The sith stomped at the icy ground, breaking up shards as he stumbled forward, and hurling those at the Jedi, now rooted fast to the ground. He pressed his blade against hers, and closed the distance.

[s'Il]

At such a close distance, s'Il steeled herself against both the onslaught of ice and the man in black. Her heavy layers did well enough to shield her from the spray, but still a few managed to find their way upwards to open thin red lines across the side of her face.

He pushed himself close, and the Lupine grimaced as her muscles protested. He was far stronger than she had expected, but she doggedly held her own for a few seconds more before twisting her hold on the hilt of her blade, dipping it low and sending both tips into the snow. With this new opening, her free hand curled into a fist and she delivered a sharp jab to the Sith's sternum.

[Zem-El Vymes]

I moved in again on his flank for a thrust, and speared only fabric, as the robe fell away into nothing.

"An illusion?"

[s'Il]

Suddenly released, s'Il allowed her hold on the ice that kept her in place to fade, and she stumbled forward a few steps, through where the Sith had been moments before.

Turning on her heel, she scanned the white horizon around her, her breath coming out in short puffs.

[Darth Decepis]

"Eeeaaaaaaggghhh"

It was an unnatural sound, sharp and sudden, coming from behind, as the Sith rushed forward, diving directly between the two Jedi as he flailed his red saber about, intent on causing as much damage to each as possible.

[s'Il]

The Lupine was taken by surprise, letting out a yelp as the red blade scored along her leg. She blocked another swipe, and brought her blade up just in time to halt another swing that would have otherwise cut through her midsection.

Staggering back against the flury of rage, she closed her eyes to see the colors of the Force all around her; the gentle blue of Zem, and the roiling blackness of their assailent. It was very nearly overwhelming, but s'Il inhaled deeply as she stretched out further.

The Sith was in the middle of an outward swing when she came around, her boots pounding the trampled snow before she leapt up, one arm hooking around his neck and a leg around his middle with the intent to pull him from his already precarious balance and down to the ground.

[Zem-El Vymes]

I rushed forward to assist, and was roiled in a stormy arc of lightning that was thrown my way. The brunt was taken by my saber, but I got enough of it to get the breath knocked out of me, and I fell to the ground.

[s'Il]

Even with her eyes closed, the Lupine saw all that was happening around her in brilliantly vibrant colors, and she shifted her weight once more so that her motion offset the man in black. Hanging doggedly onto his back, she released her legs from his midsection, allowing her feet to land solidly on the ground. Her sabre was dropped then, hitting the snow and shutting off, and with her hand now free, she reached out to clamp it over those gnarled fingers, feeling the electricity that sparked from their fingertips.

Another twist of her torso brought her out and to the side. Releasing her hold on the Sith's neck s'Il flung her arm out, calling the dark energy to a new path and channelling it through her own body.

It was a shock she'd not been prepared for however, and she ground her teeth to keep from crying out. But at least the electrical storm that had been upon Zem was now gone, lancing outward from the Lupine's own fingertips and up into the air.

[Darth Decepis]

That little trick gave the Sith paused.

"My, you've learned something clever."

He redoubled his offensive, cascading a full assault of lightning down on the lupine.

[s'Il]

Her grip on his hand locked, and s'Il fell to her knees. The pain was intense, far more intense than she could have ever imagined.

Her back arched, and her eyes flew open as she stared up into the light, jaw clenched to keep herself from uttering a sound.

[Zem-El Vymes]

I drew upward into a crouch, drawing my concentration inward as I lashed out suddenly, blasting the Sith off his feet and sending him skidding through the snow. Not to rest on my laurels, I barked into my wrist comm.

"Indigo three, all units to me. We're under attack!"

I cut a cyllinder of ice before me with my blade, drawing it up with the force as I sent it forward to pulverize the Sith.

[s'Il]

The release was in some ways euphoric, but her body still convulsed violently in the aftershock, and she pitched forward into the snow. Curling in on herself, the Lupine gasped as the acrid smell filled her nostrils.

s'Il rolled to her side, doing her best to crawl back towards Zem.

[Darth Decepis]

Decepis scrambled to his feet in time to cleave the block of ice in two, sending two hulks sailing past him...only to find that Vymes had leapt in just behind the ice, and planted his boot firmly against his face. That sent Decepis tumbling further back, losing his lightsaber in the process.

The old Sith snarled, his hood blown back so that his horrible face and yellow eyes glared back at his attackers. He rose to his feet, this time more slowly.

"You think you can defeat me so easily?"

[s'Il]

With a cough, s'Il staggered to her feet. Thin tendrils of smoke could still be seen coming off of her.


Breathing heavily, the Lupine stared at the Sith's face as if entranced. She'd never before been witness to such corruption from the Dark; it was something wholly different than what they had encountered on Rumigaar, yet the underlying currents of malevolence were still present. Was this what Tam had been so afraid of becoming?

Another few coughs, and she started forward through the snow towards the man in black. Her blue eyes locked with his yellow, and she spoke in a weak voice.

"Who are you."

[Zem-El Vymes]

I let her do the talking. We were making headway against this evil, and the initiative was ours. In an instant, I reached out and called the Sith's own blade to myself, effectively disarming him.

"I am you when you are weak." was the Sith's cryptic reply.

Twirling both blades around my body, I assumed an open stance. Reconciliation didn't seem to be an option.

[s'Il]

At that the Lupine frowned. The implications of such words was disturbing enough, and coupled with the voice that spoke them, she inwardly shuddered. Coming up behind Zem, she moved to stand just in front of him.

Shaking her head, she spoke once more, choosing to disregard for the moment his answer.

"Are you with the Empire?"

[Darth Decepis]

"Hahahahahahahahaha" was the Sith's only mocking reply.

[s'Il]

A perplexed, sidelong glance was sent to Zem, and s'Il squared her shoulders as she turned her gaze back to the Sith. She had no wish to continue this fight, and her body language conveyed just that.

"Who are you," she growled, "Answer me plainly."

[Zem-El Vymes]

Just as it seemed that the Sith would respond, a whine grew over the horizon. I knew it instantly as the drone of approaching Rebel patrol craft. The darksider looked to us again, and spoke in half meanings once more.

"I am the kernel of doubt in each of your hearts. The doubt that says everything you do will be for nothing."

He looked to the sky, and waggled a finger at us.

"We'll have plenty of time to get to know each other."

And suddenly, in a violent spray of ice and snow, he vanished.

[s'Il]

Shielding her face from the spray, s'Il lowered her arm as the cloud died down. For a few seconds more she stared at the spot the Sith had been. The whine of the patrol ships drew her from her thoughts though, and the Lupine turned to where her sabre had fallen in the snow, calling it to her hand while reacheing up to gingerly test the cuts that laced across the side of her face.

They gave a dull sting, but the cold had done well to numb most of the pain.

Clipping her sabre to her belt, the Lupine let a long breath escape her lips as she sank tiredly to the ground, propping her arms up on her knees. Head down, she finally spoke.

"He's going to come back for that you know," a hand waved blindly at the red bladed lightsabre that Zem still held.

[Zem-El Vymes]

After a moment, I looked down at what she was mentioning. Both mine and the Sith's blade glowed in the cold air, and I deactivated them as the patrol craft landed.

"I know." was the only answer I could come up with. The attack was over as suddenly as it began, and there wasn't even a clue as to how the Sith had arrived here, or why he had come.

[s'Il]

A slight tremor ran through her, hopefully the final aftershock in the wake of the electricity her body had taken in.

The Lupine lifted her head then, craning her neck to watch the canopy of the lead craft pop open. Her eyes turned to Zem once more. The expression on his face was enough to cause her concern, and she struggled to her feet.

The cuts on her face had stopped bleeding, and she gave them no more thought.

"Let me have that," she said, a hand going out for the Sith's sabre.

[Zem-El Vymes]

I handed it over to her.

"Ironic, it's beautiful. Hardly befitting such an ugly thing."

A rebel soldier trudged from the patrol craft, and hailed the two Jedi.

"You said you were under attack? I didn't see anything coming in."

"It was a single man, on foot. He fled suddenly, did you see him, or maybe a nearby ship?"

The soldier shook his head.

"Not a thing, sir. I checked every grid from base to your position, and there's no metal objects."

[s'Il]

Turning the serpent hilt over in her hand, s'Il bit her lip as she stared at it. It was a beautiful thing, and had to admit that it felt comfortable in her grip. Such a feeling was tainted however, by the thought of the man it belonged to.

"I get the feeling that he's not from the Empire," she ventured.

She looked to the rebel then, placing the sabre into a buttoned sidepocket. "I'd recommend posting an extra guard until we leave, regardless."

[Zem-El Vymes]

"I agree. It's almost as if he considers the whole civil war beneath him."

I thought about his face, and those terrible eyes.

"I have the feeling that we're facing something older than that. Something possibly very old."

[s'Il]

s'Il scowled, looking into the distance to where the taun tauns had once been; the battle with the Sith had spooked them enough so that they'd run a fair ways off.

She shivered then, suddenly ecutely aware of the chill. Whatever else was to be said on the matter could be discussed back at the base. She did not wish to stay out in the cold.

Her eye twitched, and the Lupine huffed out a breath through her nose as she started off after their mounts.

And the day had begun so wonderfully, she thought to herself glumly.

[Zem-El Vymes]

"We'll meet you back at the base."

"We'll keep an escort while you get your mounts, sir."

The soldiers remained near as we retrieved our Tauntauns, and it was a much longer ride back in than it seemed when we rode out.

[s'Il]

It was before they rode fully into the hangar that s'Il pulled up on her animal. It protested noisily, wanting nothing more than to return to the warmth of the stables. As well, she herself wanted nothing more than to be in her own room, but something the Sith had said had been eating away at her thoughts during the quiet ride back.

" 'I am you when you are weak'," she repeated the words that'd been circling through her mind, then turned a worried look to Zem.

"What do you think he meant... ?" She had a good enough idea as to what they meant, but hoped all the same that Zem would tell her otherwise.

[Zem-El Vymes]

I looked at her and shrugged ponderously.

"The Dark Side thrives on the failings of Jedi teachings. Anger, hatred, and such things. He's trying to get into your head."

He was right, of course. Though it wasn't nearly that simple. That magnitude of evil doesn't just occur suddenly.

[s'Il]

s'Il nodded, and once more turned in her saddle to look back at the way they'd come, as if expecting to see those horrid yellow eyes and twisted face following. Satisfied that nothing of the sort was behind them, the Lupine nudged the taun taun forward once more, and the two Jedi left the snowy outside.

Dismounting, she removed one glove to run a tentative fingertip over one of the thin cuts. A scowl.

"At least these won't be here for too long," she sighed.

[Zem-El Vymes]

"Let me see."

I turned her head with my hand, eyeing them carefully. Satisfied, I gave her a gentle kiss on the superficial wounds, once out of sight from the others.

"You'll be alright."

[s'Il]

s'Il smiled up at him as she pulled him close.

"I know."

She embraced him fiercely, holding tightly to him as her eyes closed. And yet the only thing she saw were the eyes of the Sith.