Red Roach
Jul 21st, 2007, 04:41:06 PM
It looks like a quiet night in Eisenhower street, a dead end neighborhood a few blocks away from the X-Men mansion. It's nearly midnight when the lights go out in the Raczik residence, and a fourty-something man by the name of Anderzj tosses his bed sheets aside, tip-toeing to his door and placing the side of his head against it. It sounds like the parents have finally decided to go to sleep.
Indeed, a middle aged man continues to reside with his parents, having lucked out whet the ladies thanks to the man's unique gift. During his youth, he discovered that while becoming exited or nervous, every single bug or rodent would come to him like the world's most powerful aphrodisiac. It's needless to say that his dates did not enjoy such a talent, scaring them away with more success than bad lines or a cheap restaurant.
By the time he learned to control his skills, the man had given up hope in women, and decided to return to his parents, not wanting to spend the rest of his life alone, much to the amusement of his friends and neighbors. He also discovered other abilities, such as reducing his size to ridiculous proportions, allowing him to sneak under doors, through doorknobs, and every tiny hole he could find. His only regret is that he didn't discover this power during high school.
Red Roach, as he likes to call himself, designed his own outfit, but his Ds in art class show to be very conclusive evidence that he lacks imagination severely, sporting outrageous antennae complete with a red and yellow combination that would give most people a bad headache for hours.
"Tonight, I will use my powers for good, I have made enough trips to Hooters to go to hell seven times, I better start making up for it."
Jumping out through his window, Red begins looking for signs of trouble in his quiet neighborhood, but nothing as usual. He doesn't want to visit the city so late at night. He firmly believes himself to be a hell of coward, and only suitable to be a good guard dog around his house.
But then, trouble presents itself.
A few houses away, a teenage boy begins to get pushy with his girlfriend. Nothing unusual goes on, with the girl putting up a lame fight, merely shoving the guy's face aside gently while his hands explore virgin lands.
Unfortunately, the rejections start getting louder, and the rocking of the car becomes more intense, it is time for the Red Roach indeed!
Without as much as a blink, a manhole spits out a fat, balding rat that quickly climbs inside the car through the small opening of the driver's window, climbing betweet the man's legs as it bites. Hard.
"Gah! Oh my God!!" screams the pushy guy, slamming the car's door open as he jumps out and begins rolling around the road in agony. The girl gets out of the car as well, walking around it to try and help her boyfriend, but the second she spots the filthy rodent, she runs inside her house without even bothering to scream.
Red returns to his normal size, slowly walking to the horny teenager as he makes a funny pose with his legs spread and his left arm pointing down, laying down the law.
"You sir, should be more polite to your lady!"
Finally, the guy breaks the rat's neck with his very hands out of desperation, tossing it aside as he tries to get back up.
"Who the hell are you? Did you do this?"
Red stays silent.
"You did!"
The guy tosses his leather jacket aside, his pride and manhood torn apart in the most disgusting way possible.
"I'm going to beat the crap out of you!"
Red remains quiet, but another eye wink causes the manhole to spit out dozens of nasty rats this time, launching themselves against the teenager as he jumps back to his car and starts the engine, speeding away like he had just looked at Satan in the eyes.
Red smiles to himself in an arrogant and yet goofy manner, dusting himself as the rats who hadn't managed to climb inside the car stand on two legs, trained and seduced by the man's powers, waiting for orders.
"Great job tonight, my dears."
The celebration ends abruptly as the girl returns outside with her father, who cocks his double barrel shotgun before unleashing a shooting spree on Red's rats.
Bang! Bang!"
Red dives for cover behind a brick fence as his rats are shot to pieces, curling in a fetal position as the very sight of the gun terrifies him. It looks to him like his old neighborhood isn't any better than the city.
"I'll get you for throwing rats to my little girl, you freak!"
Red shuts in eyes in terror, expecting the inevitable. He is so freightened that he can't concentrate enough to reduce his size or use any of his powers, seems like there is no such thing as beginner's luck.
Indeed, a middle aged man continues to reside with his parents, having lucked out whet the ladies thanks to the man's unique gift. During his youth, he discovered that while becoming exited or nervous, every single bug or rodent would come to him like the world's most powerful aphrodisiac. It's needless to say that his dates did not enjoy such a talent, scaring them away with more success than bad lines or a cheap restaurant.
By the time he learned to control his skills, the man had given up hope in women, and decided to return to his parents, not wanting to spend the rest of his life alone, much to the amusement of his friends and neighbors. He also discovered other abilities, such as reducing his size to ridiculous proportions, allowing him to sneak under doors, through doorknobs, and every tiny hole he could find. His only regret is that he didn't discover this power during high school.
Red Roach, as he likes to call himself, designed his own outfit, but his Ds in art class show to be very conclusive evidence that he lacks imagination severely, sporting outrageous antennae complete with a red and yellow combination that would give most people a bad headache for hours.
"Tonight, I will use my powers for good, I have made enough trips to Hooters to go to hell seven times, I better start making up for it."
Jumping out through his window, Red begins looking for signs of trouble in his quiet neighborhood, but nothing as usual. He doesn't want to visit the city so late at night. He firmly believes himself to be a hell of coward, and only suitable to be a good guard dog around his house.
But then, trouble presents itself.
A few houses away, a teenage boy begins to get pushy with his girlfriend. Nothing unusual goes on, with the girl putting up a lame fight, merely shoving the guy's face aside gently while his hands explore virgin lands.
Unfortunately, the rejections start getting louder, and the rocking of the car becomes more intense, it is time for the Red Roach indeed!
Without as much as a blink, a manhole spits out a fat, balding rat that quickly climbs inside the car through the small opening of the driver's window, climbing betweet the man's legs as it bites. Hard.
"Gah! Oh my God!!" screams the pushy guy, slamming the car's door open as he jumps out and begins rolling around the road in agony. The girl gets out of the car as well, walking around it to try and help her boyfriend, but the second she spots the filthy rodent, she runs inside her house without even bothering to scream.
Red returns to his normal size, slowly walking to the horny teenager as he makes a funny pose with his legs spread and his left arm pointing down, laying down the law.
"You sir, should be more polite to your lady!"
Finally, the guy breaks the rat's neck with his very hands out of desperation, tossing it aside as he tries to get back up.
"Who the hell are you? Did you do this?"
Red stays silent.
"You did!"
The guy tosses his leather jacket aside, his pride and manhood torn apart in the most disgusting way possible.
"I'm going to beat the crap out of you!"
Red remains quiet, but another eye wink causes the manhole to spit out dozens of nasty rats this time, launching themselves against the teenager as he jumps back to his car and starts the engine, speeding away like he had just looked at Satan in the eyes.
Red smiles to himself in an arrogant and yet goofy manner, dusting himself as the rats who hadn't managed to climb inside the car stand on two legs, trained and seduced by the man's powers, waiting for orders.
"Great job tonight, my dears."
The celebration ends abruptly as the girl returns outside with her father, who cocks his double barrel shotgun before unleashing a shooting spree on Red's rats.
Bang! Bang!"
Red dives for cover behind a brick fence as his rats are shot to pieces, curling in a fetal position as the very sight of the gun terrifies him. It looks to him like his old neighborhood isn't any better than the city.
"I'll get you for throwing rats to my little girl, you freak!"
Red shuts in eyes in terror, expecting the inevitable. He is so freightened that he can't concentrate enough to reduce his size or use any of his powers, seems like there is no such thing as beginner's luck.