Of Turkey basters and Martial Artist fisting

[Jaime Tomahawk]

I was perusing DotNet tonight looking for something else and I came across somethign that gave me a bit of a smile on my face.....

http://dotnet.sw-fans.net/archdisp.php?id=19

For a moment I wondered what the hell that was about, then recalled the turkey baster. And that lead to frying pans, martial artist fisting, then all sorts of funny that I've read or been neck deep in over a very long time.

Not lately tho. Doesnt this place feel the lesser for it? I can remember what a riot we could turn this place into, the thread wreckages that would pop up.....

Somehow this place seems to make the ordinary ridiclous and hilarious. And thinking o the ordinary, I just slipped off the chair and had a power nap. That is, if you call a nap a coma.

[Alpha]

I remember some of the train wrecks in Yog's B&G...Youre right. We could get completely insane without seeming to try. I miss those. :)

[Karl Valten]

I miss the 500+ post spam threads we could get going in the imperial forums.

[Lilaena De'Ville]

What!? You think this place is missing something!?

It's a shame none of you can do anything about it. Best to just bemoan the 'good old days'. :rolleyes

[Crystal]

I can start spamming up the forums again or something. Will that make it better?

[Jaime Tomahawk]

Originally posted by Lilaena De'Ville
What!? You think this place is missing something!?

It's a shame none of you can do anything about it. Best to just bemoan the 'good old days'. :rolleyes

For completely missing the point of this thread, I hereby sentance you to a week swimming with concrete boots in a tank full of Ewoks with frikking laserbeams. Yes, my evil plan has been uncovered, I have Ewoks with laser beams. Lets see all you other protoevils top that!

[Karl Valten]

*whistles*

S'il, dinner time, there's ewoks in the pool again.

[Lilaena De'Ville]

Don't be ridiculous, I can't swim in concrete boots!

*sinks* :eek

[Jaime Tomahawk]

It's little known fact an Ewok done in a light baste of Imperial tastes wonderful. I use a bit of chroom on the side for the wonderful sideeffects and in fack I''m on chroom now. Wheee, look at me I can fly so high! Oh look, a spwimming pool!

Yes, I am well aware that there is normally no p in swimming pool. But my Ewoks havent been pool trained so there is p in this spwimming pool. And worse. Oh look, she DID manage to swim after all, in fact it looks like our dear Administrator damn near levitated out. But she also seems to have acquired a baseball bat so I must depart for a moment and change into something more comfortable. Like....

CELINE DION!

[Lilaena De'Ville]

You like to cross dress as Celine Dion?

And here I thought you were making your money doing computer work. There's a lot more money to be made as a cross-dressing entertainer, though, so I can see why it had an attraction for you.

[Jaime Tomahawk]

It's the high heels. They make my legs look sexy.

Not that they need help in that regard, these days I got quite an acceptibly easy in the eye backside and muscled legs for any woman suitably interested. That's one good thing about riding up these f8&^%)@!!! hills all the time.

There's no need to post pictures, just google up the average cyclist who does 20 km a day and I think you'll get the idea well enough. Now if I would learn how to wash and not fart just as badly as I just did.........

[Lilaena De'Ville]

if only :x

[Dasquian Belargic]

Originally posted by Jaime Tomahawk
Now if I would learn how to wash and not fart just as badly as I just did.........

Damn stream of consciousness... :shakefist

[Jaime Tomahawk]

Originally posted by Dasquian Belargic
Damn stream of consciousness... :shakefist

The dream of a sexy Aussie has been destroyed entirely! Victory is.....


Wait, this isnt a victory. Wouldnt be the case victory would be the wooing of all sexy women? Ahhh well, there's always the good old fashioned method of a club and a cave for seduction.

[Dasquian Belargic]

I'm not so big on the clubs :mneh

[Jaime Tomahawk]

How about shotgun wedding?

Oh wait, isnt that the bride's father who does that?

[Lilaena De'Ville]

Are you trying to marry Dasquian?! You can't even spell his name!!

[Jaime Tomahawk]

Originally posted by Lilaena De'Ville
Are you trying to marry Dasquian?! You can't even spell his name!!

No..... I'm going to marry him off to the first avilible female, seems that I'm the oldest and also have access to said shotgun.

The power of correct speelign is nothign comared to the power of the shotgun!

[Dasquian Belargic]

The first available female? :uhoh

[Jaime Tomahawk]

Originally posted by Dasquian Belargic
The first available female? :uhoh

Well, if we time it right, Sorsha should be finished with the last male vic^H^H^Heligible male who ventured near her. Say about 10 minutes if the high pitched screaming is anything to go by

[Alpha]

:lol I could have gone my whole night wihtout reading that...You need to be Raftered...badly.

[Jaime Tomahawk]

Originally posted by Alpha
:lol I could have gone my whole night wihtout reading that...You need to be Raftered...badly.

And you need to be panned young man. Except I cant be bothered so...

FORCE APATHY!!!

:: Everyone wanders off bored to tears and oh really who cares it's all so boring... ::

[Lilaena De'Ville]

;) Really I couldn't have said it better myself.

[Jaime Tomahawk]

Originally posted by Lilaena De'Ville
;) Really I couldn't have said it better myself.

I vote to break us out of our apathy, Lilaena runs around nude.

[Alpha]

I am all for that! :)

[Lilaena De'Ville]

We don't want to scare the children. :uhoh

[Jaime Tomahawk]

Well Alpha is alomst a child and he doesnt seem scraed. And I got the maturity of a child and I got my camera out in anticipation

[Alpha]

I am 18. :) No child here anymore. :) So do it Lil. :)

[Jens Vec]

I'm not sure if it's good that I missed this phase of SW-Fans history, or if it's a shame that I missed it 'cause it was crazy.

[Lilaena De'Ville]

It was crazy, thats for sure. :p



*pulls out a frozen trout and slaps Mark and Alpha with it*

BAD BOYS!!! :verymad

[Alpha]

*is smacked*

What'd I do?

*Flings a rafter at Lil*

Jens: You should be heartbroken that you missed it. That was some of the best thread hijacks.wrecks you would have ever seen back then For instance, back when we were on EZBoard, we had at least one thread the people FROM EZBoard closed becaquse it was sucking down to much bandwidth...That was just insane.

[Lilaena De'Ville]

You can't fling a rafter. Its holding up the roof by definition.

*ceiling caves in*

Oh.

[Karl Valten]

Originally posted by Alpha
Jens: You should be heartbroken that you missed it. That was some of the best thread hijacks.wrecks you would have ever seen back then For instance, back when we were on EZBoard, we had at least one thread the people FROM EZBoard closed becaquse it was sucking down to much bandwidth...That was just insane.

For example here are some exerpts from the old Imp forums. Ah, the good ol' days.

http://www.sw-fans.net/archive/showthread.php?s=&threadid=30964&highlight=dae

http://www.sw-fans.net/archive/showthread.php?s=&threadid=33476&highlight=dae

http://www.sw-fans.net/archive/showthread.php?s=&threadid=35696&highlight=dae

http://www.sw-fans.net/archive/showthread.php?s=&threadid=33035&highlight=dae

[Park Kraken]

Ah... The tale. My tale.

There was once a n00b who descended upon SWF, his eyes filled with need and want. He tried, oh he tried, but he just didn't cut it. The Denizens of SWF were in a quandry. What to do, what to do with this n00b? And so they exiled him, saying, come back when a n00b, you no longer are.

Then, 3 years later, he comes back. A n00b, he no longer is. A true SWF member, he has now become.

*Burns the first thread Karl listed*

Must.....erase.....embarrasing......memories.....>_<

[Jaime Tomahawk]

But Imperials are never funny. They just sit around comparing boot polish. What's the fun in that? The Jedi used to have a monster who killed poeple in the toilet of the Bar and Grill when it went to do No 2's. There was whipped cream fights, There was this guy who sat in the corner who shot anyone that looked like they handt shaved for a week, despite the fact he never shaved. State of the art Jedi badass.

The waiter.... oh dear, the waiter was all types of weird. And Beldarine's tabletop dancing antics.

,...

Just wondering Mr Imperial, would you care for a Jedi Toilet Duck?

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

Mark, you'd be surprised at the fun we had in those old Imp threads :D

Dae and I were pretty mean to those boys back then. We're complete angels to them now, though.

[Morgan Evanar]

I will create a monster. It will be a goliath grouper with legs and lungs. It will be a scaled, finny bigger hippo with bigger teeth. It will be capable of eating VW Beetles in a single gulp.

Fear.

[Kelly Perris]

OMFG...

My box of Cheerios asked me if I was "getting enough"....

...I'm so deprived. :cry

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

I say us Fans wimmins have a pajama-party-group-chat Friday night so we can tell girl-secrets, gossip about boys, b&m about not getting any, and drink froo-froo drinks.

[Kelly Perris]

I say yesssssss.

[Karl Valten]

Originally posted by Loklorien s'Ilancy
We're complete angels to them now, though.

That's friggin lie and you know it.

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

What are you doing out of your shoebox?!!! :verymad

[Karl Valten]

*slumps shoulders*

Yes'm

[Jaime Tomahawk]

Originally posted by Loklorien s'Ilancy
I say us Fans wimmins have a pajama-party-group-chat Friday night so we can tell girl-secrets, gossip about boys, b&m about not getting any, and drink froo-froo drinks.

Pay us enough and the Jedi Male Strippers may even may an appearence.

[Lilaena De'Ville]

Can we pay you enough not to show up? :x

[Jaime Tomahawk]

Originally posted by Lilaena De'Ville
Can we pay you enough not to show up? :x


Just because you've become an old maid (with .... HUUUUUUGE traits of land but that's beside the point) doesnt mean other girls can be deprived of fine Jedi bodies and men who know how to handle their lightsabres.

[Lilaena De'Ville]

Um, only unmarried women are considered maids.

[Jaime Tomahawk]

Originally posted by Lilaena De'Ville
Um, only unmarried women are considered maids.

Actually it's women not currently having sex.

With Me.

Which means every woman is a maid :(

[Kelly Perris]

Well, you ain't the only one in that boat, dahlin.

And yes, I'd sure appreciate the strippers. A-P-P-R-E-C-I-A-T-E to the fullest. :smokin

[Dasquian Belargic]

I think the Alliance boys would get more of a turn-out than the Jedi.

Hell, that might be a good way to fund the war effort. Rogue Squadron, I have a new mission for you all!

[Kelly Perris]

Rawr. :yum

Alliance Boys Auction? ;)

[Liam Jinn]

Originally posted by Kelly Perris
Well, you ain't the only one in that boat, dahlin.

And yes, I'd sure appreciate the strippers. A-P-P-R-E-C-I-A-T-E to the fullest. :smokin

I'll give you my number ;)

[Jamo Jakatta]

Originally posted by Kelly Perris
Rawr. :yum

Alliance Boys Auction? ;)

Promise me that you won't go crazy bidding on me, Perris.

[Kelly Perris]

Oh, Jamo, baby...I know yours is bigger than mine. That doesn't mean I love you.


EGO! I mean your EGO is bigger than mine!

[Jaime Tomahawk]

Originally posted by Kelly Perris
Well, you ain't the only one in that boat, dahlin.

And yes, I'd sure appreciate the strippers. A-P-P-R-E-C-I-A-T-E to the fullest. :smokin


I'm like soooo confused now. Aint you a male?!?

[Kelly Perris]

Hell no.

*is ALL woman*

[Jamo Jakatta]

With a name like Kelly, what do you expect?

[Jaime Tomahawk]

Originally posted by Kelly Perris
Hell no.

*is ALL woman*

Oh hey there. I'm all man apparently.

I say apparently as I am truly classed as "insane" due to my preoccupation for driving far, far too fast in forests, leaping off bridges, abseiling down cliffs and suicidal mountain bike runs.

Oh and bike riding in peak hour traffic.

[Kelly Perris]

Sounds like fun. Speed is fun.

I've drunk beer while rollerblading once or twice. And being talented, did not spill a drop.

[Liam Jinn]

Originally posted by Kelly Perris
Sounds like fun. Speed is fun.

I've drunk beer while rollerblading once or twice.

Way to live life on "the edge" :p

[Jaime Tomahawk]

Originally posted by Kelly Perris
Sounds like fun. Speed is fun.

I've drunk beer while rollerblading once or twice. And being talented, did not spill a drop.

I think my definition of 'speed' is a wee bit different to what everyone else would consider fun speeding. My definition of fun at speed is probably a wee bit different too :D

[Kelly Perris]

Nonetheless, I likes fast. I laugh everytime someone asks me if their speeding is making me uncomfortable.

And air conditioning in cars used to freak me out. There was something about a breeze and yet the windows were close that kinda rubbed me the wrong way.


Originally posted by Liam Jinn
Way to live life on "the edge" :p


Oh yeah...on the edge...Of tabletops.

[Liam Jinn]

Like I said, I'll give you my number ;)

[Jaime Tomahawk]

Originally posted by Kelly Perris
Nonetheless, I likes fast. I laugh everytime someone asks me if their speeding is making me uncomfortable.

And air conditioning in cars used to freak me out. There was something about a breeze and yet the windows were close that kinda rubbed me the wrong way.




Oh yeah...on the edge...Of tabletops.

Stuff the tabletops thing, can you call pacenotes at over 200 kph while tree branches brunsh the windows while the driver is about to throw it in backwards to the next corner?

If so, I'll PM my number to you. And a large box you can mail youself to Australia in.

[Liam Jinn]

Bad aussie :shakefist

[Kelly Perris]

Hmm. The box itself would be a new adventure all its own.

Pacenotes huh? You mean yelling directions without swallowing bugs and choking?

[Jaime Tomahawk]

Originally posted by Liam Jinn
Bad aussie :shakefist

Badass Aussie, you mean.

I may not be 20 anymore, but on scale of badass I'm right up there :evil

[Jaime Tomahawk]

Originally posted by Kelly Perris
Hmm. The box itself would be a new adventure all its own.

Pacenotes huh? You mean yelling directions without swallowing bugs and choking?

http://enormouslysideways.net/wrc2006.html - pick one and download. Pacenotes are what is being shouted.

[Liam Jinn]

Originally posted by Jaime Tomahawk
Badass Aussie, you mean.

I may not be 20 anymore, but on scale of badass I'm right up there :evil

:twak

Wake up there buddy :p

[Jaime Tomahawk]

Originally posted by Liam Jinn
:twak

Wake up there buddy :p

A stick hmmm? When you grow up little boy, you might understand the power of kitchen utensils. Like solidly built cast iron frying pans with teflon coating. And then you would understand how to inflict real pain onto your opponent. KInda like this,

FORCE FRYING PAN!

*WHACK!*

A swing and a hit! Liam goes up, up, up into the sky, where in an unfortunalte curcumstance, he is hit by a frozen turkey, which knocks him into the blades of a 747

Oh yuck. Jedi puree -_-

[Kelly Perris]

Geez, Chris. Get up off your tush and get something to eat before you die. The world will still be here when you get back.


Originally posted by Jaime Tomahawk
A stick hmmm? When you grow up little boy, you might understand the power of kitchen utensils. Like solidly built cast iron frying pans with teflon coating. And then you would understand how to inflict real pain onto your opponent. KInda like this,

FORCE FRYING PAN!

*WHACK!*

A swing and a hit! Liam goes up, up, up into the sky, where in an unfortunalte curcumstance, he is hit by a frozen turkey, which knocks him into the blades of a 747

Oh yuck. Jedi puree -_-

Oh hell, I'm amused. Nothing quite as trusty as a cast iron frying pan. I've got two.

[Liam Jinn]

Originally posted by Kelly Perris
Geez, Chris. Get up off your tush and get something to eat before you die. The world will still be here when you get back.



I'll eat when you give me a good idea for a meal.




I thought I was safe from the frying pan, and I was wrong. But beware grandpa, I'll pull out my seldom seen Force Boomerang...just keep that in mind. :D

[Lilaena De'Ville]

Put that back, Liam! :eek There are children present! ^_^;

[Alpha]

:lol I love this place

[Jaime Tomahawk]

Originally posted by Liam Jinn

I thought I was safe from the frying pan, and I was wrong. But beware grandpa, I'll pull out my seldom seen Force Boomerang...just keep that in mind. :D

That's not a boomerrang - that's a stick. Now this.....


ZIIIIIP!

*THUD*

.... is a boomerang.

[Morgan Evanar]

Originally posted by Jaime Tomahawk
Oh hey there. I'm all man apparently.

I say apparently as I am truly classed as "insane" due to my preoccupation for driving far, far too fast in forests, leaping off bridges, abseiling down cliffs and suicidal mountain bike runs.

Oh and bike riding in peak hour traffic. If you said you were riding in rush hour traffic here I would consider you mad. But over there is not the same thing.

[Kelly Perris]

After the begging Liam did last night, I think he needs to be tied up and put to torture at the beaks of many woodpeckers. Because, you see, begging only serves to do one thing, and that's make me laugh.

[Mandy with an I]

Originally posted by Loklorien s'Ilancy
Mark, you'd be surprised at the fun we had in those old Imp threads :D

Dae and I were pretty mean to those boys back then. We're complete angels to them now, though.

I'm not the official Imperial bum inspector for nothing :mischief

(lol, just popped into the thread and saw that XD)

[Jaime Tomahawk]

You can inspect my bum any time you want

[Serena Laran]

You're not an Imperial!! :shakefist

[Dasquian Belargic]

Why don't we have official Rebel inspectors? :(

[Lilaena De'Ville]

Because the Rebels don't contract diseases that necessitate their bums being inspected.

[Dasquian Belargic]

So that's what a guy has to do to get a little attention :grumble

[Jaime Tomahawk]

Originally posted by Lilaena De'Ville
Because the Rebels don't contract diseases that necessitate their bums being inspected.

Say like.... Herpes?

Cool! Join the Imperial Navy and get a bad diease!

[Lilaena De'Ville]

Mandi will snap on her plastic gloves and give yer bum a good going over.

[Jaime Tomahawk]

As long as she warms her hands up beforehand, I'm quite okay with that. It's when the hand is cold is when it sucks

[Park Kraken]

Bum inspector? I'd pay to have my bum inspected. Of course, I'd probably have to pay a doctor's fee anyways. Imperial Insurance doesn't pay much. :grumble

[Lilaena De'Ville]

Er ok thanks for taking it too far, Kraken.

[Jaime Tomahawk]

Originally posted by Park Kraken

Ahem

Oh what a pity, that was funny. Nasty true, but funny.

[Lilaena De'Ville]

An Admin's intuition, which says if the envelope gets pushed further this entire thread will be locked.

[Mandy with an I]

It's not that kind of inspection, sillies. :p

[Kelly Perris]

*sits on the comfy couch with the mega bucket of popcorn*

That battle sequence was not too bad...

[Jaime Tomahawk]

Originally posted by Kelly Perris
*sits on the comfy couch with the mega bucket of popcorn*

That battle sequence was not too bad...

There's porn coming on next.

[Kelly Perris]

Originally posted by Jaime Tomahawk
There's porn coming on next.

Party on, Garth! [/wayne]

Sweet. Gonna need more popcorn.

[Jaime Tomahawk]

Featureing Kelly Perris and Miss Busty Bazookas.

[Kelly Perris]

I'm sure Kelly would like that, but I don't usually make a habit of playing with the other girls on the playground ;)

[Kelly Perris]

Speaking of insanities such as panning....

....I came very close to getting my head bashed in with a cast iron frying pan yesterday. Luckily, the livingroom door suffered the damage instead.

Just a little upsetting, no?

[Liam Jinn]

Yeah, too bad the pan missed :p

[Jaime Tomahawk]

Damnit, my cunning plan didnt come off :shakefist:

[Kelly Perris]

Liam, I should brutally torture you and leave you to rot on the borders of my land.

Oh, I kid, I kid.

As for you, sasserella, Well.....I don't know. I'll have to think about that one.

[Liam Jinn]

You Canadians and your "threats" :lol

Pfft :p

[Kelly Perris]

Oh. He thinks i'm JOKING...

:grumble

[Liam Jinn]

Kids these days :rolleyes

[Kelly Perris]

I'll have you know that i'm older than you, young man.

[Liam Jinn]

But not in the mind, young one! :D

[Kelly Perris]

Ha! He thinks I have a mind to speak of!

Boy, have you been FOOLED!

[Liam Jinn]

*looks for another frying pan*

:D

[Kelly Perris]

I ain't jokin', mister. My livingroom door really is busted a la frying pan!

[Liam Jinn]

Is the frying pan alright? :)

[Jaime Tomahawk]

Keep your lovers riff to yourselves. Nexxt we'll see you lot spooning and doign other naughty things like.... dancing.

[Kelly Perris]

Love?? LOVE?!?!

I don't love him. He's just a ball of string I take minor joy in batting around. Get your facts right. :lol

[Liam Jinn]

Minor joy my...

You know you'd cry if that ball o' string rolled away, quit fooling yourself :p

[Kelly Perris]

Nah...I'd just chase it and thrill myself.

[Jaime Tomahawk]

Love?? LOVE?!?!

I don't love him. He's just a ball of string I take minor joy in batting around. Get your facts right. :lol

Whatever, keep your antics between yourselves, else we lose out lunch in disgust :vomit:

I have no wish to even contemplate Laim in naughty bedroom dancing action -_-

[Liam Jinn]

Nah...I'd just chase it and thrill myself.

Just can't let me go, I get it ;)

Pfft, you know you're picturing it right now, Mr. Aussie :p

[Kelly Perris]

:uhoh

*shudder*

[Dasquian Belargic]

Whatever, keep your antics between yourselves, else we lose out lunch in disgust :vomit:

I have no wish to even contemplate Laim in naughty bedroom dancing action -_-

Says Mr Turkey Baster the Council-room Action lover :p

[Kelly Perris]

Says Mr Turkey Baster the Council-room Action lover :p


*smirk* He's jealous of the lack OF, my friend.

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

If I had the talent to make custom action figures, I'd make a Marcus action figure with frying pan and turkey baster accessories.

[Dasquian Belargic]

If only that thread with all the action figures hadn't been deleted... I think I still have the Elessar play-set (with Marcus, Helenias, Dasquian and Xazor) saved somewhere :lol

[Alpha]

And I remember the Alpha one with a different faction badge for every day of the week. ^_^ I wish I had saved that thread...

[Jaime Tomahawk]

If only that thread with all the action figures hadn't been deleted... I think I still have the Elessar play-set (with Marcus, Helenias, Dasquian and Xazor) saved somewhere :lol


Geez I have some luck with women dont I...... One a backstabber, the other decided another man's bed was warmer.

Any lady who's honest and trustworthy want to date a honest to a fault computer consultant who resonably handsome, fit and earns a fair whack of cash? I would seriously swap looks for someone who would be honest and straight with me. Julie was exactly that, honest and that's something I appreciated.

No takers?

[Jaime Tomahawk]

http://www.video-c.co.uk/newmicrosites/microsite_watchvideo.asp?FileType=ADSLProg&vidref=neri002

Reminds me of the Bar and Grill :D

[Selinica Miriya]

Ohhh, I'm amused. Greatly. :D