I Shot the Sheriff

[Wil Mienstrire]

I shot the sheriff, but I didn't shoot no deputy
Oh, no, oh
I shot the sheriff, but I didn't shoot no deputy
Ooh, ooh, ooh Yeah

Telos, a resort planet in the Outer Rim, was their's for the taking. It was like definitely the prime location for the most heinous of heists ever to be pulled off this part of the universe. And by who other than the ridiculously hot Master of the Doomside Wil Mienstrire, aka Darth Exquisitus and his divinely formed fox Dani Tur'ilian? So the plan was actually like a godsend, well, not even a god could've thought up something this good. Probably because Wil had thought of it first.

They were going to drive up to this little honky tonk town, where the locals that staffed the resorts lived, and they were gonna knock up the bank there. No one would dare meddle with a powerful Doomsider. He was pretty much banking on that. Well, he had a few other things, like a wicked sword and a bunch of weapons that could make further deterrence.

They rode on probably the most righteous speeder ever designed. It was Dani's and she was definitely driving. While it wasn't beneath Wil to drive, she was just that much better than him at it. It probably had to do with her having better balance and a tail. He was pretty sure he could fly a rock if he had tail, pretty sure. They were on their way to the small town, called 'Modesto' and they'd be there in a few minutes. Everything flew by them in a blur, he didn't want to know to know what they were passing, he just wanted to go faster.

[Daniella Tur'ilian]

And faster they went. It was something easy to notice, how much more Daniella would do if Wil was at her side. She had become more daring in a universe that she barely knew before. As such, she had never visited Telos and she was, of course, intently looking on to the various objects and buildings as they zoomed past the swoop they were riding upon. Mostly, she was watching for where they were supposed to be stopping. Some bank that Wil wanted to hit up.

She winced, knowing that Wil had plenty of money. Perhaps they were just in it for the thrill, she was not certain. It did sound exciting! But she had her doubts.

Once they had hit their destination, Daniella eased the swoop toward the front of the building, parking it. Her hands went to the helmet worn over her head, grazing the cat-like ears that poked out at the top. Then, lifting it off, she shook out her medium length, layered, various shades of brown, hair. Her nails, sharpened to a point, idly tinkered with a stud at the top of one ear, then she dropped her arm back down to her side.

"I hope this is what you had in mind, Wil."

[Wil Mienstrire]

As he looked up at the modest building they were parked in front of, he made a satisfied look of sticking his lower lip out and nodding.

"Yeah, babe. Exactly what I had in mind."

He stood up, throwing his leg over and stretching, getting his bearing in a round about and very sneaky way of course. He wore a gray jacket that cut off at the bottom of his rib cage. The mesh netting he wore over his shirt ended in beads that shook around his waist and the pants were strapped down by an assortment of belts. He untied his massive sword, the Valkyrie, from its place on the bike and shouldered his large bag of goodies. Stepping to Dani's side, leaned over and nibbled on her neck before kissing it and resuming his stance beside her.

"Ready to do this, my Divine of the Divines?"

[Daniella Tur'ilian]

Remember, this is going to be fun! The thrill of robbing a bank! I mean, come on. Not like we'll get caught and thrown into some dirty, smelly jail cell with buff, hairy woman who might want to eat me for break-

"Ahhh....."

She winced and immediately cut off the thought process. Way to build up the courage! Her tail whipped around behind her and she flashed Wil a brave smile before stilling it with a vice grip from her leather bound hand.

"Sure thing! I'm ready." She grinned and laughed a bit, nervously. Hopefully, she'd settle in with the whole prospect sooner rather than later. First time jitters was all. She was, however, anxious to learn what good she was going to be.

[Wil Mienstrire]

Wil nodded to her and then reached over his back and into the bag. Grabbing the first grip he could find in there, he withdrew a heavy blaster, a totally sick looking scope mounted on the rails and tossed it to Dani.

"Let's rock this joint."

Wil withdrew a pair of crazy cool goggles from a pocket and pulled them over his eyes. How awesome was this? They were about to knock over a bank and get away with oodle doodles of cash. He kicked the door open as he walked through, the people in line turning around at the loud noise. It was time to do it like in the holovids, cowboy style.

"ALRIGHT ALRIGHT! LADIES AND DUDES, PLEASE REMAIN CALM FOR THE DURATION OF YOUR FLIGHT. YOU ARE ALL BEING ROBBED!"

He could've probably gotten just a little less money being a comedian on Bespin, he was that funny. But this wasn't monkey business, this was cowboy style. Some guy yelled some obscene obscenity in Wil's direction and in response, Wil fired a round from his blaster into the ceiling.

[Daniella Tur'ilian]

Daniella caught the blaster skillfully and brought it up for a brief inspection while they entered the building. Quite a flashy entrance if she did say so herself. An amused smile tugged the corners of her lips upward as Wil announced their intentions to the shocked patrons inhabiting the establishment.

Out of the corner of her cat-like, green eyes, she noted an approaching accident waiting to happen. The bank wasn't without on-hand security and it seemed that they were in luck. The muscular man sought to claim the glory of taking out the two criminals single handedly. She watched him reach for his own blaster. He was dangerously close to her side.

Promptly, she brought the weapon Wil had handed over upward. Her arm straightened and at its full length, brought the barrel of her armament flush against his quickly paling forehead. She turned her head, her smile growing as his hand paused, having just barely slipped the weapon from its holster.

"Down." She murmured, quite calm on the outside. Her heart was thundering. She was certain anyone who looked close enough could see it trying to escape her chest. He set the weapon on the ground and when she sliced him an insistent glare, he followed. She bent down, picking up her, now, second weapon and then straightened slowly. Her eyes wandered away from her first captive to Wil.

[Wil Mienstrire]

He looked back to Dani to see what she had said and noticed the guy on the floor and her looking to him.

"Hot."

He turned back to the crowd though, this giving him a wonderful idea.

"Everyone face me..."

They shuffled about, taking too long obviously as Wil loosed another bolt into the ceiling.

"Now lie down, hands, limbs, appendages, whatever you wanna' call 'em on the ground, stretched out before you. If you move, the babelicious hottie back there will plaster your brains across this quasi-clean floor. And please hold all questions and applause until the end."

Wil dropped the bag from his shoulder and begun to dig through its contents, obviously searching for whatever was next in the great scheme of things.

"Eur-krasting'-reka!"

He held out a small device, pressed his thumb to the center of it and dropped it on the ground. A red light and a green light were visible from Dani's perspective and after a few seconds passed, the green light turned off. No communications would be going out anytime soon now.

"So... let's see."

Wil moved quickly, hurtling over the counter where four tellers cringed frozen on the ground. Wil looked at them with furrowed eyebrows. The holovids always had one or two dumb clerks pressing some button that called the cops. And they always did it before the robber found them for it. He found the button(s) too. And at least one of them had been pressed.

"Ummm... sweety dearest..."

Wil looked up from the counter to Dani.

"Would you like to bring the ride inside? Just park it right there inside."

Pointing in front of the doors.

"I'll watch the kiddies."

[Daniella Tur'ilian]

Daniella observed Wil situate the rest of the patrons, much like she had with the security guard - who now glared up at her in a most unfrightening way. She rolled her eyes slightly, then her ears twitched in response to the familiar endearing tone of Mr. Mienstrire.

She knew that voice. This wasn't good.

He said the word 'ride'. Her eyes narrowed upon her companion and her back stiffened. There was no reason to bring her beloved swoop into this! She paled visibly and nodded, starting off to do as he had asked without voicing her worries for their precious means of transportation.

He wanted her to park it inside. It'd be closer to them in case they needed to make a quick escape and she could keep a better eye on it. That was a plus, at least. Upon reaching the object of her concern, she smirked down at it's length and straddled it. Not bothering with her helmet, she stretched down the whole of the double seat she had installed, causing her back to slant while she started up the engine. She brought it about, reveling in the snarling turbo - a trait given to Tur'ilian racers only. It was a unique sound that anyone who was anyone in the racing world learned to dread and respect.

The swoop-speeder hybrid made a full turn, it's tail end whipping about violently while the front simply spun in place. She tore up the front space left between her current position and the bank, slicing in through the doors that had been left open with limited space to work with. Once within, the swoop bike immediately slid to a side halt, sending a wave of air over the security guard's person and so forth. Her hands worked over the controls at her disposal and she glanced to the area left open by her hasty entrance.

Setting a leg on the right side of the bike, she pushed off a bit and brought the speeder so it rested smooth and full against the entrance, drawing her leg from such confines before hand and slipping off the seat.

"Like this?"

[Wil Mienstrire]

"Perrrrfect."

He tried to imitate the smexy noise Dani was capable of making under the best of circumstances but he was pretty sure he had crashed and burned in that aspect. That was totally ok though, she didn't want his body and soul for his bad impressions.

"So now, like while I'm handling this thing..."

He jerked a thumb back towards the room containing the safe.

"... I need you to like go ahead and grab anything cool, shiny, or valuable off these people lying on the ground. Just blow their brains away if they even squirm a bit while you take everything they might treasure or hold dear or might never want to part with on their current person."

Wil smiled innocently. He didn't really intend for her to do that much, it was more for the idiots lying on the ground to get the picture in their head and not try anything stupid while he tried not to blow himself and the safe up with what little time they had available. It'd be another kind of pickle if the cops actually made it here in time.

He turned from the counter and stepped into the backroom, kneeling before the massive door in front of him as he opened his bag again and begun to search. After a few moments passed, he had a large assortment of explosives sitting beside him. He hadn't been really sure what would do the trick and given the situation, he was pretty sure that he wasn't going to waste time testing it out either.

He touched the side panel of his goggles and their function kicked in. They weren't as normal as they might've appeared; construction goggles had low level scanners that would inspect a structure and analyze the strengths and weaknesses or something like that. Wil had listened to the salesmen long enough to hear that much and bought them on the spot. The cracks that were now glowing in his vision obviously meant this thing was working.

Sticky bombs and landscaping detonation systems were set to the weaker parts of the wall while several military grade explosives were set to the heavy, armor reinforced hinges to the safe door. He set a small EMC charger to the door lock to prevent any fail safes from kicking in. He was glad now more than ever he had paid so much attention to the holovids.

Wil determined quickly enough that if he stayed in the room while the explosives went off he'd probably die so he casually strolled out of the room with his now-not-so-heavy bag and several detonators strapped to his arm like chronometers. He closed the door and moved a desk in front of the door before sitting down and inspecting the detonators. The EMC one would have to go first, to disable the fail safes, of course. His finger trailed along his arm until it reached the right detonator.

His face twisted very suddenly to that of a kid about to set off a box of fireworks in their bedroom.

"BOOM!"

Some people in the lobby startled at Wil's voice but he hadn't even pressed the button yet. He snickered as he hit the-

INSERT RIDICULOUSLY LOUD EXPLOSION NOISE HERE!!

Wil was picking himself up off the ground, quite unsure why as he thought he had been sitting in a chair only a second ago.

[Daniella Tur'ilian]

She had paled when he mentioned actually killing someone. Not like she hadn't done that before, but this was totally different. These people were innocent, she was guessing. Really, it would be quite messy business and she could only imagine how terrifying this would all be were she in their position. After he had strolled away, she allowed her gaze to roam over the crowd of people now clinging to the floor. She had to get her mind off of it all. The danger, though thrilling, the fear seeping out of those surrounding her, and she didn't even have a sexy Wil to cling to anymore.

Well, she told herself amidst the thought process, things could be a lot worse. The good guys hadn't shown up yet to run them out of the city, nor had they received any injuries. Not that the recovery time they took off in the mansion would be bad. It was almost worth it. Her thoughts began to wandered and she aimlessly began to traipse across the room, collecting various shiny things from the people scattered about her booted feet.

It seemed like everything was going to go smoothly. No one had shown up, yet, and even the guard she had ordered down seemed to be well behaved, for now. He must be up to something, she thought, slanting a glare in his general direction. The people around him cringed. She didn't understand, really. Now, had there been a loud -

[ INSERT RIDICULOUSLY LOUD EXPLOSION NOISE HERE!! ] - From Daniella's perspective this time, of course.

The patrons of the bank let out several frightened screams, Dani among their number, her hands lurching up to cover her cat ears. Rather than protecting them, however, she only succeeded in cracking the blasters, each clutched in a vice grip in either hand, against her skull. The sudden pain startled her, but worse yet was the ripple of force that knocked her back. She stumbled, released a slew of curses into the room, mentally noting the ring that had taken over the other sounds, and then finally crashed onto her back as the heel of her boot clenched defiantly.

For several minutes, she just lay there, now on the same level as those she was meant to be burgling, watching. She stared upward, dazed by all that had taken place. Her arms were flung above her head, the blasters still clutched firmly in her grip, and her legs were splayed and bent in a most discombobulated manner. Then, a shadow fell across her crumpled frame. She squinted, taking in the two faces hanging above her. This wasn’t good. Thrusting her weapons up, she planted their aim upon the two men; however, she was immediately staring up at their own guns. Definitely not good.

“Wil!” She called, her roar hiding the fear that would have otherwise caused her voice to quake.

[Wil Mienstrire]

"Wil!"

Wil startled, quickly pushing himself up and out of the daze so he could find the source of his name. How was he about to explain himself and not get wripped apart by vicious claws?

Oh, Dani, dearest, sweetest, babest! I like, almost blew myself up! Surprise!

It might work. Until the dust settled enough that he could make out two men in the standing in the lobby.

"Hey, Babe! I thought I told you to keep 'em on the grou-"

His eyes pierced the deceitful darkness to determine that his damsel was indeed in distress. Beneath the bloody barrels of two men's blasters lay his Dani dearest and she was in no position to necessarily negotiate with them. Wil was more than happy to negotiate, the money and bank duely forgotten under the duress of the explosion and the dilemma involving Dani.

Wil brushed dust off his coat as he stepped forward, hostages could be seen rushing through the mist and dust towards the exit.

"You two better follow in suit with your fellow village peoples, 'cuz you keep those blasters in the Lady's face and I'll have to do something wicked nasty."

One of the men kept his weapon trained on Dani while the other quickly shuffled and brought his sights on Wil. A rather slow, slurrish kind of accent was attached to the grumble grumble kind of voice that came next.

"I'm the sheriff of this here town, ya mutt. And I recommend you come down to the department with me and my deputy all quiet like so as there ain't any more trouble than there already is. You's gonna have quite the fine here for breaking up my here bank."

Wil spit the dirt that had gathered in his mouth onto a table beside him and looked back to the sheriff, as if bored.

"Dude, like if you don't let her up in like six and a half seconds, you're gonna be wanting me to pay the fine for fixing your face, and your doopy deputy if he doesn't follow in frellin' suit."