Here I am...again

[Daiquiri]

Sorry for running out on everyone before. Had some extremely rough things happen in the family and I still havent quite found my equilibrium yet. I wont be rping for a while - dont know for how long - but I'll be stopping by to chat and say 'hello'.

btw, if anyone here is on Xanax (sp?) get off of it - that <smallfont color={hovercolor}>-Censored-</smallfont> can kill you!

[Dasquian Belargic]

:wave hello darlin

[Morgan Evanar]

Oh nose. :( We miss you Daiq!

[Loklorien s'Ilancy]

:hug

Glad you're all right, and Morgan is correct - we miss you terribly :\

[Pierce Tondry]

They are all correct. I misses you terribly, too. :(

[Khendon Sevon]

:)

[Anbira Hicchoru]

Hi Daiq!!!

[Lucianus Adair]

*tackle-huggles*

Daiq!

[Zereth Lancer]

Daiq!!!!

We all miss you terribly.

[Daiquiri]

I might as well just go ahead and tell what happened

My one daughter that has been on medication (anti-depressants, mood stabilizers and anti-anxiety meds) took approximately 80 of her Xanax (what was left in the bottle) in an attempt to kill herself. To be completely truthful, I dont think she really wanted to end it, otherwise she wouldnt have called me at work and told me what she had done.

I raced home - literally!! - called an ambulance which took her to our hospital which slapped her in ICU for 24 hours. We were lucky. Most ppl who take that many pills end up on a respirator. Anyway, she ended up in a 'facility' for a week (her 2nd go 'round in one of those) and then was able to come back home. At first she wasnt going to go but after some fast talking from me and the fact that she was told she either goes voluntarily or gets hauled there in cuffs, convinced her.

The problem now - aside from the obvious - is that shes 18 and theres not a lot legally I can do ...such as make her go to her shrink, make appointments for her, etc. My hands are pretty well tied. Only the fact that she and I are close keeps both our heads above water.

And so, I worry. And wonder. Everyday. Is this the day she'll try it again? Will she call me again or will I come home from work to find that its too late? Im a basket case myself half the time. Im now on anti-depressants but they do help some. Its just so hard to live day by day like this, the never knowing.

And guys...thank you for the welcome!! :hug

[Lilaena De'Ville]

:(

:hug

That is awful - I hope she turns around soon, for her sake and your family's. You're in my prayers.

(and it's good to see you around!)

[Morgan Evanar]

I've been pretty close to the bottom before. Not suicidal, but I was thinking about it. Been years but you never really forget it. If she's interested she can have my phone number and call me.

[Pierce Tondry]

Originally posted by Morgan Evanar
I've been pretty close to the bottom before. Not suicidal, but I was thinking about it. Been years but you never really forget it. If she's interested she can have my phone number and call me.

I'd like to echo Morg's words, but honestly I think I might've been closer than he describes. I intended to call your place once I read this, but I can't find your number.

[Cirrsseeto Quez]

Originally posted by Daiquiri
I might as well just go ahead and tell what happened

My one daughter that has been on medication (anti-depressants, mood stabilizers and anti-anxiety meds) took approximately 80 of her Xanax (what was left in the bottle) in an attempt to kill herself. To be completely truthful, I dont think she really wanted to end it, otherwise she wouldnt have called me at work and told me what she had done.

I raced home - literally!! - called an ambulance which took her to our hospital which slapped her in ICU for 24 hours. We were lucky. Most ppl who take that many pills end up on a respirator. Anyway, she ended up in a 'facility' for a week (her 2nd go 'round in one of those) and then was able to come back home. At first she wasnt going to go but after some fast talking from me and the fact that she was told she either goes voluntarily or gets hauled there in cuffs, convinced her.

The problem now - aside from the obvious - is that shes 18 and theres not a lot legally I can do ...such as make her go to her shrink, make appointments for her, etc. My hands are pretty well tied. Only the fact that she and I are close keeps both our heads above water.

And so, I worry. And wonder. Everyday. Is this the day she'll try it again? Will she call me again or will I come home from work to find that its too late? Im a basket case myself half the time. Im now on anti-depressants but they do help some. Its just so hard to live day by day like this, the never knowing.

And guys...thank you for the welcome!! :hug

I've been to the brink and I'll be frank. The only thing that kept me from going over it was how close my family and my friends were to me. Not even enough people to count on two hands, that's all it took for me.

[Selinica Miriya]

It's just one of those things I think about. All the time.... Whether i'm exuberantly happy, or highly depressed, or whatever.

Fortunately, i'm completely freaked to kaka of ever pulling it off for the simple fact of what effect it would have on my family and friends. And seeing as I can't stand to see anyone I know in such a state, and being that I'm largely an optimist, i'll be leaving the earth at an indeterminable time.

*huggles Daiq*

Here for ya, bebs.

[Crystal]

Hello, nice to see you again Daiq :)


Originally posted by Daiquiri
Suicidal stuff

Like everyone else, I've been there before too, and sometimes I still think about it. I don't want to actually die anymore, I just get tired of being alive and the idea is always in the back of my head.

I never really thought about it, but it must have been really hard on my parents during that time too. I didn't really let them in on anything, and I thought whatever I told them would just make them upset, so I dealt with it on my own. I'm sorry you and your daughter have to go through this, but she's lucky she has you.

[Daiquiri]

I just get tired of being alive and the idea is always in the back of my head.

Shes come out and told me this several times. In fact, shes said that she thinks about it everyday. I wish I could be in her shoes for just one day so that I could really understand what it is shes going through. Ive had bad days, we all have, and like most ppl, the same thought has crossed my mind but when it did, it was more like a streak, a super quick flash and then it was gone. Never something I ever gave any real merit to.

This latest doctor diagnosed her with BPD - Borderline Personality Disorder, which is very closely related to Bi-Polarism (is that a word? ) After reading up on both, I can agree. Shes pretty much suffered from this all her life. Even very young, she was angry alot, her moods would swing quickly and dramatically along with other symptoms. This has got to be tough at any age but for a young woman who would still be trying to 'find herself' in the teen years, its devastating. I wish to God that I could take it for her or be able to hug her and gently press a bandage on it and tell her 'its all better now' and seal it with a kiss but I cant. Its hell as a parent having to sit back and watch your child go through this knowing you cant fix it for them. It just breaks my heart watching her struggle daily with this demon.

[Mitara Sinar]

I'm sorry to hear about what's going on. Suicide is a major problem, expecaly with people under the age of 25. At least in BC, the only time the police are alloud to respond to a missing person report before 48 hours have passed is if there is a Suicide letter or if the have attempted suicide in the past.

In fact Just last night on my shift I had to respond to a Suicide call. A 10 year old girl left a note saying good bye to her parents on the kitchen table locked herself in her bedroom, and duct taped a pillow to her face. It's really sad when children, expecaly ones that have so much life ahead of them, think they have nothing to live for to the point that they would do that. We mannaged to save her life this time, thanks to her mother getting up to get a drink of water in the middle of the night. We are not always that lucky though.

I can also relate to that feeling of there's nothing left for me. I accualy tryed to kill myself after Garen flatlined in his comma for a few min, and the doctors told me his chances of living was next to nothing. I was so devistated that I would loose him. I didn't think I could live with that, so I went out back behind the hospital, prayed up to the sky that if he was to die, take me as well. I then slit my own wrist.

I was found by an ambulance attendant, and both myself and Garen lived, but that feeling of hopelessness still haunts me, and i think it always will. It doesn't help that I also have to deal with it on the job too. But one thing I do know, when ever a person drops that far in their life, the only way to go is back up, and it's hard, REALLY Hard, for the person that tryed it, and for those that love them.

I know that myself and Garen send you and your family our prayers, and wish you and your whole family good luck in this emotionaly painful time. :hug

[Dalamar DeSang]

Hey Daiq, I don't know much but I do know if you dwell on any thing to long, think on something to long that actions will suit thoughts.

If you can try to get her not to think on this and think on other things more positive it would help her a lot. I know its easy to say.. but her outlook needs to be changed to something else more positive. The biggest part of your battle is in her head.... By the way tackles and hugs missed you..

Love Trav..