The Lawson Effect (OnT Cont.)

[Asher Perez]

Asher loved how he somehow knew what to say to make her feel better and reassure her feelings for him. She knew that they weren't normal especially when it had been such a short amount of time since their meeting. The best thing Asher could describe Haruko as was like a vampire in the back of her mind, his existence was killing her. He was in her mind constantly never leaving her alone. If he wasn't nearby she was continuously wondering what he was doing, how he was doing, if he needed anything, if his day was going well...

Asher hugged him and squeezed. If someone were to take him away from her right then she'd probably die her attachment to him was far greater than she had ever expected. She had taken care of many attractive men and women but never had she wanted to take care of him more than anyone else. She was sure that if Haruko knew her feelings were out of control it was untelling what he'd do. For one to be so opposite of her in many ways they sure did get along surprisingly well.

"Neither will you, Haruko." Could she be in love with him? She wasn't sure for the only love she had experienced was what she felt for Roman. But people had been prone to telling her she wore her heart on her sleeve. She liked Haruko, truly liked Haruko even though she didn't know every little thing about him at that moment. But that didn't change or alter anything for she was very willing to spend an eternity learning about him if that menat being near him and growing to love him and the same in return.

[Haruko Lawson]

Haruko took a deep breath and let it out. He wanted so badly to tell her how he really felt, how all of this, his entire exsistence, the out of control world he lived in, the jumble of puzzle peices...how it had all fallen into place when he had met her. How all of his suffering, his pain, how his losses, and gains, no matter how bitter or sweet, it all had meant something when he had met her. He had known. Somehow, in his heart, he had known.

Haruko felt a slight twinge at the back of his neck and was immediately reminded that he had not taken his second dose of medicine. Stepping back from Asher a little, he dug in the deep inner pockets of his jacket and pulled out the bottle of pills and dumped two into his hand. He bit his lip slightly, then turned away from Asher. He was embarrassed to take the medicine in front of her. Embarrassed that he had this thing inside of him that he had to take medicine for. He didn't want to accept that he was in there. He wanted it to just be him. Him alone. Him free to love Asher alone. But he would never be alone. He's always have that thing in the back of his mind.

He swallowed the pills quickly, and turned around, looking back at Asher and smiling slightly, letting out a breath, the pressure of the conversation and the exhaust of his bionic eye pressing on his temple. He shook his head.

"I'm sorry, Asher..." he said, turning back around and flipping open the plate on his temple, touching the exhaust release, the steam hissing out of his electronic brain and wires, relieving him of the pressure. He felt rediculous. He was falling apart right in front of her. When he turned back around, he kept one hand over the plate, as if covering it might make it not real. He smiled a little. "I hate my face," he said playfully.

[Asher Perez]

Asher smiled at him and wondered what had caused him to skip his medicine. If he wanted to keep the thing inside of him gone forever he'd have to get into the habit of taking it despite the nasty effects it could have.

She watched him shy away from her when he took the medication and then when he released the pressure plate in his temple. She watched him turn around keeping his hand over his face as if it had some horrible defect in it, when in truth it looked as normal as the rest of his face. She could only imagine how horrible he felt, how embarassed to do such a thing in front of her...heck probably anyone except close family.

His apology made her heart ache for him, made her whole body wish to somehow fix all the problems that seemed to continuously build up. Asher licked her lips and watched him a bit shy herself to see it. She felt like she were somehow violating his privacy, but for some reason she knew it embarassed him to have to do that in front of her.

"I hate my face." That comment drove Asher over the edge. She frowned and shook her head, filling the gap between them. She put her hand over his own and pulled it down and she smiled, happy to see him fully again.

"I love it."

[Haruko Lawson]

Haruko smiled down at her as his bionic eye whirred and went to heat censor. He didn't know why. He needed to get it checked up, it had been giving him small headaches and malfunctioning slightly for a few days now. He saw Asher all in red, only her clothes holding any blue or green. His eye flicked over her a moment, before it whirred again, and he shut it down. It was causing an awful pressure on his head.

He felt his eye cool down and go grey and he fished a patch from his pocket so that the grey eye would not creep anyone out.

"I am glad someone loves it."

[Asher Perez]

Asher smiled at him and nodded she felt her sudden moment of honesty leaving her for after his response she wondered if she had offended him in some way. She backed away, but only a little. She still had a tremendous feeling for him inside but she wasn't sure if she should go ahead and say it or imply that she had a feeling at all. She wasn't completely sure about Haruko and how his feelings went and she was almost positive that she was having a spur of the moment thing where she had no problem letting anything she felt out. But Haruko's feedback wasn't as positive as she had wanted, so she knew not to go any further without fuel for her fire.

"I am sure many people love you face, who wouldn't. Hmm?" She smiled at him and felt her cheeks go red, she was being stupid again and not letting her mind fully work properly. Her hormones were going to get the best of her yet.

[Haruko Lawson]

Haruko flipped some of his hair from his face and sighed out through his nose.

Haruko no longer counted Orange in those that had turly loved him. But, there had been one person before either Orange or Asher that had grown to love his face, love him. She had loved Haruko before before she had known his name, or even seen him up close. She had wanted to give him everything. She had loved Haruko before anyone else had. She was the only person who had ever loved Haruko enough to want to spend the rest of her life with him.

Haruko, however, had not felt so strongly about her. He was eighteen, he hadn't known her, hadn't understood her. And on top of it, Mr. Lawson had been playing with him for just long enough that it had been driving him crazier. Haruko had not been ready for love at that point.

In some ways, Asher reminded him of that woman. She wasn't anything like her, not really, and Haruko knew for an absolute fact that he loved Asher. But Asher had given him affection, tolerated him, treated him like a human being. In this way, they were like each other. But he had a connection with that woman that he didn't have with Asher. A certain unbreakable bond, even though he had never seen the formation of it.

She was the mother of his child.

None of this he could tell Asher, not yet. Just thinking it in her presence made him felt horrible, like somehow he wasn't doing all he could to love Asher fully, when somehow he knew he had never loved anyone so much in his entire life. He wanted to tell her, let her know in some way that even if there had been someone previous who had loved him as she had, he hadn't cared for them as he cared for her. He couldn't think of them and love them like he loved her. And Haruko wondered why this was so difficult telling someone you love that you do. Why couldn't he open his mouth and say it?

Shaking his head and smiling a little, tucking some of his hair behind his ear, he looked back up at Asher and blinked twice at her.

"I am sure, at some point, sometime, somewhere, someone had liked, or reguarded my face with some interest," he paused a little, taking her hand and twining his fingers with hers. "But I have never been as interested in them, as I am in you." He winked once, trying to allow her face to drive away the tormenting thoughts of his past. What is done, is done. It couldn't come back to haunt him...could it?

[Asher Perez]

Asher frowned at his words, what was that supposed to mean? How was she supposed to take it? But finishing his response made her smile and forget about how she was regaurding his comment on his face.

If nobody loved that face they were seriously ignorant and had no good tastes. Asher was safe to say, inside, that she had tremendous feelings for him and how she wanted to voice them! Asher had never liked someone, if not loved, a man as much as Haruko. Sure there was Roman but the love she had for him was much different, very different than the kind she was holding for the man holding her hand. She glanced down at it and smiled, how she wished she had met Haruko long ago, how she wished she had known everything about him. She didn't know how love went for she had never experienced it, she was afraid he didn't feel the same for her simply because he had more experience, obviously.

The night when they made out...that was something she had never done before even if she was pretending she had before. She wanted to do anything he wanted simply because her hormones were going insane and misfiring, but in a way her mind and heart were more than willing to go along with it. She glanced up at him and smiled. Her heart was pounding and her stomach felt like it was doing flips but that was humanly impossible yet there it was doing every impossible thing.

"I don't think anyone has been interested in my face." That was a stupid remark, it was her insecurities stepping in. Asher had never had a man touch her before, hold her, hug her, kiss her, want her as Haruko had. She was hoping it was more than she was thinking it was for he was there now holding her hand and kissing her.

"Have you ever been in love before Haruko?" If so, how would I know the feeling? How would I know that these feeling I harbor inside are love? Asher's mind was going crazy, the urge to just say she loved him was in the front of her mind and on her tongue, but she didn't know how he'd react. Honestly, she would want him to say those words first.

[Haruko Lawson]

Haruko bit his lip and chewed on it slightly. He had been, yes. But he didn't want to tell her that it was with the young woman sitting in the living room this very moment. Didn't want to admit that the last woman he had loved had dropped him like an old shoe, destroyed his life, and then stepped back in with his brother on her arm.

He looked at Asher and lifted his hand, touching her face, and brushing his thumb over her smooth skin. Asher was beginning to fill that hole. The hole that Orange had filled, the hold Mr. Lawson had adopted after her. Now, Asher was beginning to heal the wound, make the scars lighter. She was taking his heart on a ride it hadn't been on in a long, long time. And he was loving every moment of it.

"Yes, I have been..."but never as strongly as I am with you.... He wanted to just spit it out, say 'I love you', let her know that he felt for her in a way she probably didn't recipricate. But he needed to get it out, somehow, some way.

Haruko wrapped his arms around her waist and pressed his mouth to hers, savoring the softness of her lips against his. He never wanted his past to creep up on him, though he knew it might. He never wanted Asher to be frightened of him, or his past. And he could never be sure if she was or not. Haruko slowly pulled away from her and hugged he close to him, resting his chin on her shoulder and leaning his head against hers.

"Aishiteru..." he muttered, to himself, because he was not yet secure enough to tell her. He didn't know if she felt so strongly, and he didn't want to run her off. He never wanted to watch Asher Perez walk away.

[Asher Perez]

Asher smiled to herself as she felt him hold her tightly, how great this felt to have someone do that at random. If this was love then she was enjoying every single minute of it. She had always wanted someone like Haruko, as silly as that sounded in her mind. He was attractive, in need, and simply the nicest being to be around. She was in love with Haruko, she was positive. She was in love with his face, his body, even hsi kisses were fabulous. She just didn't know if she could dare tell him, not yet at least.

She heard him say something quietly and it ran in her mind. Aishiteru? Asher wondered what that meant, if it was his split personality coming out. She wasn't truly sure but she decided to let it slide off of her . She hugged him tightly and smiled enjoying their moment alone enjoying being in his arms and having him kiss her every now and then. She moved slightly, barely out of his grasp and looked at him, unable to wipe the stupid smile off of her face.

"Do you have a phone I can use to call Roman? He must be trying to get a hold of me by now. We can go pick him up, okay?"

[Haruko Lawson]

Haruko smiled down at her, and then nodded. He took her hand and lead her to the door, opening it and looking up and down the hall. He spotted Jiro and Taro, Jesimae and Orange still in the living room, laughing about something.

"Jiro? Taro! Anata no dochira kaha watashi no denwa ga eta dokodeni shitte iruka!" he called, louder than probably necessary. Both his brothers looked up. Jiro jumped up and pulled Taro up with him, walking down the hall towards Haruko and Asher.

"No! Watashi ha, motte iru migi nosorewo imi suruka?" Jiro said. He glanced at Taro and then back at Haruko, who bit his lip.

"Ido...watashitachi ha denwa wo hitsuyou tosuru. Taro, chikaku ichi tsugaaruka?" he asked, and Taro waved a hand in front of his face.

"Iie," he answered. Haruko sighed and then glanced back at Asher. He smiled.

"Come on, I think there might be one in my bedroom," he said, turning down the hall and smiling back at her.

[Asher Perez]

Asher smiled like a fool while they all three spoke in such a magnificent language. She wished she could've at least spoken a few words but her specialty was Spanish and even that wasn't half as satisfying as much as hearing Japanese. She watched the men talk quickly, their mouths moving so fast she only caught a word or two but still had no idea what they had said. Haruko had turned and looked at her English somehow throwing her off a bit for she was half expecting his native language to come out.

"Come on, I think there might be one in my bedroom." He had taken her hand earlier and he was now directing her in the direction of his room and for some reason she felt a pang of nervousness. She was about to enter his bedroom, his personal and private bedroom. She felt her heart speed up slightly and she felt like she was going to throw up, but luckily it was just her body's reaction to Haruko and this intimate setting they were about to enter.

"I won't be long. I'll figure out how to get to his friends house and I will go and get him and bring him here. I am sure he'll be ecstatic to know that he'll be around you." She grinned and squeezed his hand.

For some reason thinking of the two of them getting Roman...it gave her an awkward feeling. She needed to steer clear of anything involving family relations because apparently she wasn't very good at that. But it was still a nice thought to think the two of them were together getting Roman...together. Asher hated it when her mind thought that far ahead. She was sure Haruko wasn't much of a family kind of man.

[Haruko Lawson]

Haruko smiled, as he lead her back down the hall to his bedroom, opening the door and going inside. He opened his curtains to look around the room.

He saw nothing at first but began to snoop around the place knowing he had left his com in here somewhere. He looked over his bed, the blankets messy. Then he glanced under the bed. There it was, Jiro must have kicked it under when he had been in there. He picked it up and looked down at it, smiling a little, then looking back up at Asher.

"I think the littlest Lawson pushed it underneath there the other day...sorry, we aren't so organized are we?" he laughed a little.

[Asher Perez]

Asher laughed lightly at him as her eyes scanned his room. "Well I've always heard the messier the man the more intelligence he has." She smiled at him and winked. "You all must be the most intelligent people on Tattooine." She grabbed the com from Haruko and quickly dialed a few numbers and waited for a reply.

"Hello, this is Asher." She bit her lower lip and began to pace, a habit she had whenever talking to the lady on the other end of the phone. She had never truly been able to get along with Roman's friends parents considering they were so different in parenting than she was. She listened to the woman talk for a few moments before getting to the point.

"Romano!" She said happily when he came on the other line. "Change of plans, sweetie. You and I are..." She glanced at Haruko and smiled. She didn't know why but she felt embarassed to tell Roman in english the predicament. She spoke quickly in spanish explainging what had happened to Javier and her and that he was to be staying with the Lawson family. The wail of excitement shocked her for she wasn't truly expecting it.

"Calm down, amigo. I am going to be getting you here in a moment or so, okay? Yeah...love you, too. Bye." She hung up and looked back at Haruko and smiled. Tonight was going to be very interesting.

[Haruko Lawson]

Pod Races, Tattooine

Haruko felt the heat of the suns burning into his back as he, Asher and her little brother, Roman descended the steps from the stands.

The pod races on Tatooine were always fun. They were high spirited, interesting, violent, but scorching hot. Haruko had had to strip off his normal trench coat, all the way down to his wife beater. A scarf hung around his neck and face to keep the sand from his mouth, though there was little wind to bring any towards him.

He was glad that Asher had decided to come along today. Although, he had figured she would do it for her brother, he could pretend like she wanted to be around him too. Looking down at the little Spanish boy, Haruko smiled up at his sister.

"What now, Roman?"

[Asher Perez]

Asher yawned as she made her way down the steps listening to Roman cheer and scream and excitedly talk to Haruko as if she hadn't even gone to the races. She wasn't a huge fan of the violence that ensued and she honestly would have let Roman see something else, but his enthusiasm was too great and she enjoyed it simply because Roman did.

She heard Haruko, after a moment when Roman actually kept his mouth closed. She smiled knowing it was only because he was having to take a breath! She frowned at the sun and glanced at Roman whose eyes were scanning the massive scene. She knew what was coming for it always did. Roman had somehow managed to learn everyones names and he even knew some mechanics. Anything having to deal with the pods Roman was there, heck he had even met a few of his friends by talking with fellow race lovers. She saw his eyes hit his favorite pod of the afternoon and he immediately pointed.

"Lets go over there and see what kind of mechanics they have! I'd love to see what they've done to that sucker!" He smiled brightly and glanced at Asher, asking permission with his eyes then glancing up at Haruko who towered over the short boy. "Want to?" He asked excitedly. If he could see a few parts, talk with a few people...Roman would be happy as a lark for the rest of the trip.

[Tatsuya Hasagawa]

The day was hot. The pods were hot, and Tatsuya Hasagawa was a little bit stressed.

It wasn't that he didn't enjoy seeing the races, especially when it was with his twin brother, who enjoyed it immensely and always lifted Tatsuya's spirits with his enthusiasm, however, thier pod that they were here to supply parts for, or really the owner, was being difficult.

Tatsuya had patience when it came to dealing with his father's customers. They were always right after all. But this man, who was drunk anyway, was even more drunk on money and greed and had been doing nothing but spreading the joy of his winnings with everyone around.

He was supposed to be here, celebrating his seventeenth birthday with his twin brother, and that was what they were doing. It was just this little side job.

"Katsuya..." he said from underneath the pod and he banged on it in an annoyed fashion. His brother's slightly black face appeared neaxt to him as he got down underneath with him.

"Hai?" he asked. Katsuya motioned for a tool near to him but just out of his reach. His brother handed to him, and he continued to lie there with Katsuya as he continued to work.

Lets go over there and see what kind of mechanics they have! I'd love to see what they've done to that sucker!

The voice was loud and clear, and Katsuya thought he had heard it before, but he could not pinpoint where from, and why. For a split second, he had the mind to come out and look, but he declined, knowing he needed to continue his work on this pod.

[Asher Perez]

"Romano!" Asher called out to him as he ran quickly through the sea of people over to that specific pod. "Don't be a pest! There are people working on it!" Roman waved a hand and ignored her something she wanted to smack him for. But she let it slide considering this was something they didn't get to do very often so she might as well let him have his way...just this once.

"I don't know what I am going to do with him if he gets one more mechanic friend who works on pods." She mumbled to herself, mainly talking to Haru, but not really.

[Katsuya Hasagawa]

Katsuya heard a voice from underneath the pod. It sounded like a younger childs voice and it was coming closer to them and thier pod. He looked over at his twin brother, exchanging a knowing look with him, then slid out from underneath the pod, glancing around a moment.

There was a young boy over near to thier pod, beaming into it as if it were the most beautiful thing he had ever seen in his life. For some reason, to Katsuya, the little boy reminded him of himself at that age. He grinned wide, wiping a little bit of sweat from his brow, most likely getting a little more grease across his forehead.

Glancing around for the owner of the pod, then sneaking up behind the boy, he scooped him up and plopped him down into the cockpit of the pod, laughing at the little boy.

"There you go, kid," he said to the boy. "How's that feel?"

[Asher Perez]

Asher bit her lower lip biting back the argument of letting him sit in the cockpit for many people have been beaten up for such reasons. She walked over towards the pod, not able to not admire the beautiful machine. They were so neat to look at especially when poeple designed them suited to their needs and sizes and this was obviously one that was custom built.

"Nice..." She said to herself and to Roman, knowing a good Pod when she saw one, her knowledge coming from the boy having a field day in the cockpit, pretending he was a racer. She frowned and put her hand over her eyes seeing one of the men leaning on the side, pointing out things to Roman. She smiled at him knowing Roman loved to talk Pods and races and anything else that went too fast for his own good and was a dangerous habit.

"I am sorry, Roman cannot deny the calls of Pods." She laughed as she surveyed the large craft herself, finding nothing wrong with it yet.

[Katsuya Hasagawa]

Katsuya glanced over to the woman and her male escort, whom, he noted, was Asian like himself. It was hard to find other Asians on Tattooine anymore, but when he saw one, Katsuya usually smacked his brother and pointed them out. He figured he coud restrain on smacking this once.

"Don't worry about him. Its no big deal..."Katsuya said to the woman, bowing to her slightly. He looked back over to the boy and leaned down over the door, pointing to a gauge on the control panel and grinning. "Look, this gives your vital stats. See? That's your heart rate, weight, and breathing pace. Keeps you from overheating during the race. Let's you know when you need a stop." Katsuya paused as he glanced down to where his brother was sliding out from under the pod.

"Osanai kodomo ha watashi noyouni mie ru!" he said with a grin.

[Tatsuya Hasagawa]

Tatusya heard his brother interacting with someone who had come over to the pod. He sighed, finishing the tightening of a valve that had worked loose during the race, he slid out from under the pod, sitting up and looking up at his brother and the three people with him. He blinked several times as his brother leaned over to him.

Osanai kodomo ha watashi noyouni mie ru! he said with a smile. Tatsuya looked around at the child in the cockpit and nodded a little, standing up and wiping his hands on his pants.

"Hai, hai..." he said quietly, then looked at the woman and man as Katsuya continued talking with the young boy. He smiled at them. "My brother is a little sociable. Feel free to hit him any time you like."

[Asher Perez]

Roman was amazed and speechless for the first time in his life. Apparently he had seen something he had never seen before. As Asher knew he would he began to ask millions of questions about how the pod ran, what kind of fuel it used, how fast it could get in some many seconds, what they did to keep the engine cleaned, how it ran so fast....on and on and on! Asher's head was spinning and she could only imagine what the two workers were thinking.

"Roman! Come on they are trying to work! You don't need to disturb them. Besides..." Asher moved closely to him and looked around. "The man who drives this thing looks like he could kill an army with one glance." She bit her lower lip and glanced at Roman and the two men and nodded. "If we could contiue this conversation out of the cokpit, I'd be happier."

[Tatsuya Hasagawa]

Tatsuya glanced in the direction of the owner of thier pod. It was true, he was a nasty son of a bitch, but Tatsuya doubted the man was sober enough to even realize that he was on Tattooine, let alone that someone was in his pod. Still, the woman was probably right. He nodded a little, stepping around his brother and gently picking the child up, putting him safely on the ground.

"She's right, kid," he said, glancing up at the woman and man, unsure as to whether she was the mother and he the father, or if some other arrangement were going on. He looked back down at the child, then stood up and looked at the woman he was going to assume for now was his mother. He glanced back down at the boy, who seemed familiar to him. He cocked his head. "You don't happen to know a Julio Gonzalez do you, kid?"

[Asher Perez]

Roman's eyes lit up brightly and he jumped up and down and proceeded to tell the man how much he loved Julio and his racing style and he parts he supplies. The name sounded familiar to Asher, she thought they had talked before many times and apparently he knew him so well that they even exchanged numbers to keep in touch and see if they could meet at more races. But she still couldn't place a face even with all the information Roman was dishing out to the man.

"Do you all personally work with this man who owns the pod? Or are you racers?" Asher was at least going to get names so she could open u[ a way for Roman to keep in touch for she could already see the qeustion coming a mile away. It was even in his eyes how much he was already liking the man he was talking to.

[Tatsuya Hasagawa]

Tatsuya was surprised by the outburst the little boy gave to him when he mentioned the name. Apparantly the kid had gotten around a little if he knew Julio. Then again, it was a little hard to miss the big bearded hispanic man, who went around singing joyously in Spanish. Most people met him before anyone else. He made it difficult not to.

Tatusya turned to look at the woman, then shook his head, motioning to he and his brother.

"We don't race, we aren't old enough. And the man who owns this is an acquaintance of our father. We deliver parts, and fix pods of our father's clients. Although we are supposed to be celebrating out birthday. But this is a side job we are doing while we are here," he explained to her, glancing at his brother as if for reassurance that he was saying the right thing. His brother was nodding, saying 'hai' every once in awhile to make sure he knew that he was in fact saying the right thing. Tatusya nodded. He pointed up to the sky. "We live on a the moon of a moon of Tattooine. Its the Juliet Space Port."

[Asher Perez]

Asher nodded and smiled, she knew space ports simply because she was used to hopping on one to another to pick up Roman whenever they stayed with her brothers.

"Ah, I see. Roman knows a lot of people, both racers and suppliers. He goes to these things frequently and I go whenever I can." She smiled at him and then back to Roman who was staring at the craft as if it were the best one ever created by man. "Just to forewarn, he is going to beg you for some way to contact you. He makes friends easily and now I've seen how!" She laughed and held out her hand after a moment.

"My name is Asher Perez, by the way. That right there is Roman, if you haven't already heard me warn him several times!"

[Tatsuya Hasagawa]

Tatsuya smiled a little, taking her hand and squeezing gently. He nodded at the little boy, then looked back up at Asher.

"I'm Tatsuya Hasagawa, and that is my brother Katsuya," he said, with another nod, dropping his hand and then sticking his hand in his pocket, pulling out a data card and data writer. He jotted down his comlink number and then his name in romaji for them, handing it to the boy. "That's my comlink number. You can call if you like, whenever. We'll be on Tattooine for a few more days, then we are heading back to our space port. But you're welcome to call anytime." He nodded, looking back up at the woman and nodding.

[Asher Perez]

Asher smiled at Roman who was jumping with joy at this point, continuing to blab about how he appreciated it and was going to call as soon as he could to get upsdates on pods they work on, near dates, and anything dealing with pods and races.

"Roman and I need to get heading back, actually. He and I are staying here a few days until we head back on home on Coruscant. I am pikcing him up from his brothers."

[Taro Lawson]

Taro ran a hand slowly down his face, the water slipping down his cheeks and jaw in tiny rivlets, lighting his face up into a million fairy lights in the dim glow of the candles that were burning in the bathroom. His eyes were a little swollen from lack of sleep, and he looked tired to himself. His hair was damp from the water he had splashed over his face, and was slicked back slightly away from his forehead.

He listened to the near silent tip, tap as the little stars of water fell from his nose, lips, jaw and chin into the sink full of water in front of him. The mirror in front of his was steamed slightly from where he had been running the hot water in the sink for so long. It blurred the right side of his face slightly, causing him to look distorted, unhuman, his eyes glowing, half his face in shadow half in light.

Taro's drugs were not working anymore. They were not giving him the peace they had started out giving him. His dosage was not enough. But he knew he couldn't up it. If he did, people would see the effects. Blood shot eyes, fatigue, stuffy nose, sore throat. All of these things would become obvious if he went any higher on his dosage. He did not want anyone knowing that he was doing this again. Especially...especially not Jesimae. Taro couldn't think of how it would ruin thier lives if she found out.

Taro's heart was heavy. It felt like a stone was sitting on his chest, and a block of ice in his stomach. He couldn't sleep, he couldn't eat, he couldn't talk to anyone about it. This experiance was draining him. Physically, emotionally, psycologically. He was mentally not taking this well. He was bursting to just talk to someone, but there was no one who would understand it. Who would understand the fear that was building up inside of him.

As the time came nearer and nearer that he would see his father again after nearly thirteen years, Taro was feeling weaker and weaker, dreading it more and more. The feeling of imminent danger, oncoming pain, inevitable confusion and fury building up inside of him more and more and more...

And apparantly, Taro Lawson was the only one feeling it.

[Jesimae Lawson]

Jesimae put a few dishes up into the shelves, having washed a few after eating a little lunch. She was feeling awkward today, something was messing up her comfort zone and invading her space, but she knew it war probably all mental. Since they got there she felt different, the atmosphere, the feeling...all of it was dreadful and somehow causing a rising tension that she couldn't experience except through everyone else.

Orange and Jiro for one. Something wasn't right with those two, it seemed like they were slowly breaking apart and neither one of them were ready to admit it. She knew she was probably putting too much into it all it was just her way of being paranoid without reasoning. But there was reason, a slow urking reason in her mind that she still couldn't put her finger on.

Another thing that she felt like she was losing was her touch with reality, with life back home. This place was killing her it was so quiet, so dreadful, mournful, death was everywhere. And it was taking a toll on her feelings and she could swear that something wasn't right with Taro. She felt like she was slowly slipping from him as well but she didn't want to tell him, didn't want him to have more pressure and worry on his mind than he already had. She loved him so much but she knew that there was something going on that he wasn't willing to say and she wasn't about to ask.

She had learned her lessons early and she was hating it. She didn't like being quiet, didn't like worrying this much. She was losing hair in the handfuls, she swore she had a bald spot somewhere for all the hair she was losing when she brushed and showered. The only good thing she could do was clean adn even that gave her too much time to think of Taro and the events unfolding.

What was wrong with everyone?

[Taro Lawson]

Taro slowly emerged from the dark bathroom into the darker bedroom beyond. He peeled his shirt off and tossed it on the bed, leaning down over his bag and digging around in it a moment, purposefully not looking in the top right hand corner, knowing what he would see there. He fished a shirt out that he though might have been his brother's, then pulled it on and took a deep breath.

His mind was lost. Lost in everything that had happened. He and Jesimae getting engaged, Jiro and Orange's dysfunctional relationship issues, and everything else piling on top of the original problem. Taro's father was the root of all his problems. He didn't know how, but he knew that must be it.

But Taro was not really one to play the blaming game, so he tried to let that train of thought dissipate, only to have it grow and fester some more in his mind. He couldn't help but want to blame his father. All he wanted was to be rid of the man, and yet somehow, he was terrified of what would happen when he did die. What would Taro have left to hold on to? His whole life he had promised that one day he would get back at the man for what he did. If he died, what would Taro do? There would be no more anger or hatred, there would be nothing. And Taro did not know if he could handle that.

Listening for a moment to the silence, Taro moved slowly to the door of the room, and walked out into the hall, glancing sideways into Jiro and Orange's room. Jiro was there, listening to music and reading something, but Orange was not with him. Taro had noticed a slow but sure separating act between the two. It saddened him, but he knew that if Jiro and Orange made the decision the break apart, then it would be a good reason. They were too dysfunctional not to part gently.

Moving into the common room, he stood there for a moment, getting his bearings and taking a deep breath, feeling his nose ache slightly, and his lungs burn.

[Jesimae Lawson]

Jesimae closed the shelf drawers and chewed on her bottom lip as she turned and glanced at the clean kitchen. She wondered when the last time Haruko had cleaned. She had been at it for an hour, cleaning, cooking, writing, walking, smoking all having an effect and helping her mind ease and keeping herself occupied. It was a nervous habit she had whenever something was mouding and not letting up. Everything was so wrong right now and she knew that she had a part in the problems.

If only she hadn't pushed Taro to come, if only they had stayed back on Coruscant together...but yet she was glad Taro was going to see his father for one last time, if he'd ever come to. She wanted to see him at least get a piece of Taro's past in place. She was so scared for Taro and yet she kept it contained inside, she had no way to tell Taro how she felt how she loved him more than anything and how seeing him suffer was only causing her to suffer as well. She was afraid he wouldn't understand, afraid he'd want to try and occupy his mind as she was doing now.

Jesimae took a seat at the table where he steaming cup of tea sat that she forgot she made. At least now it was cooled off and ready to drink. She sighed out and rubbed her head as she picked up the mug and brought the porcelain rim to her lips and tasted the sweetness of the natural tea. She felt comforted for a moment as it went down warming her up inside, but she still felt a cold loneliness in her heart. Was she losing Taro like Jiro was losing Orange? She glanced at the ring on her finger, slightly grinning. She was depressed here, she knew this more than ever. It was amazing how an ailing member of a estranged family caused this much emotionaly termoil. She was slowly watching things dissipate and she couldn't do a thing about it.

[Taro Lawson]

Taro moved to his right, heading for the kitchen. He needed a drink, needed the coolness of the tile under his feet, needed something other than what he was doing now. He rubbed a hand over his tired eyes and pushed on the door, going into the kitchen and squinting in the bright light of the kitchen. The rest of the house was so dark and comforting. This was bright and controlling, the light making him feel on fire.

He shied away from it slightly as if he were some sort of vampire, before moving completely into the kitchen and opening the refridgerator, pulling out a bottle of some of Haruko's strong Osaka Whiskie. He popped the top and took a quick drink, closing his tired eyes and leaning his head back, working his neck around a moment, muttering a little to himself in Japanese, before turning and looking at the table.

The sight of Jesimae startled him and his jumped back a little, his heart beating a mile a minute. He hadn't expected to see her there, and now that he had a great wash of guilt came over him for what he had done a few moments ago. A thousand questions went through his mind. The questions every junkie asks. Can she tell? Will she ask? Did I forget to clean up? Is my nose red?

Taro blinked once, then again as his heart rate began to slow down. He had been too careful, covered every detail. She was not experianced it knowing what a junkie looked like, so he figured she would not be able to see the really subtle signs.

[Jesimae Lawson]

Jesimae watched Taro stumble into the kitchen his eyes showing signs of tire and something else she could not place. He was heading for the fridge and he found his favorite kind of drink and quickly began to sip it in large amounts as he leaned his head on the door and began to mumble.

Was something wrong? God how she wanted to ask! Having been so pushy early on it was killing her to not ask, it was something she needed to do for she was so worried about him! But his being so reserved made things a little hard to understand and it definitely put a huge wall up in the relationship, but she was slowly becoming acustomed. If only he would be more open....but wishing and hoping wasn't going to get her anywhere. It would only give her a headache, which was slowly coming on.

She watched Taro jump when he finally realized she had been sitting there. He looked so tired, so exhausted. She wanted to get up and hold him, kiss him, beg him to tell her his troubles, allow her to help in some sort of way...but she resisted knowing Taro, knowing he'd not want that. Damn him for being so private!

"Konnichiwa." She said to him, having nothing better to say. Tell me something, Taro! Tell me anything you want.

[Taro Lawson]

Taro blinked again, her word in his language coming as a slight surprise. He nodded a little, finding a chair and sliding gratefully down into it.

"Hi," he responded, more to his whiskie than anything else. He didn't want to look at her, risk her knowing what he was thinking, what he had done, what he would do again. He did not want her to see the fear, the pain, the anger building up inside of him. He had dammed it all up, had backed it up so that it would not come out. But his emotions were so strong, he feared his emotional dam would not last much longer. He did not know how to repair it. Taro did not know anything anymore.

Licking his lips and taking another drink, he clenched his jaw and blinked at the fatigue growing in his eyes. All he wanted to do was sleep. Sleep and never wake up. Never have to deal with all of this again. Never have to look anyone in the face and say, "I screwed up." Because Taro had been doing it for too long, and he knew he would have to do it with Jesimae. Eventually, she would have to know about the things in his past that he had done that he was not so proud of, the things he had done only today that he was not proud of. One day she'd know, and he'd have to admit he was a screw up. Again.

Slowly, to preoccupy himself, he traced out characters on the table top with his fingers, writing out his name, then Jiro's, then Jseimae's in Kanji, and then Haruko's, and then Jesimae's again. It didn't have to make sense what he was doing, he just needed something to distract himself from looking at the woman across from him.

[Jesimae Lawson]

Jesimae watched him a she sipped on her tea. She watched everything that showed in his face, his body movements, his body language, hoping to pick something up but she couldn't all she saw was some sort of emotion she had never seen, an emotion she never wanted to see again. She was so scared for him and their relationship. He was avoiding her and she didn't know why, he was becoming distant and she ddn't know why, she was somehow losing something so important and she didn't know how to get it back.

Jesimae did the only thing she knew how to do, act as if nothing was wrong. She leaned forward and grabbed the hand that was moving across the table, he was drawing something that only he could see. She traced her index finger over his knuckles and down his fingers, one by one, enjoying the feel of his soft hands, enjoying his warmth, enjoying feeling some sort of closeness for he had been so cold the past few days.

[Taro Lawson]

Taro shook his head, gently pulling his hand away from her and standing up, shaking his head and turning away.

"Not right now..." he said quietly, not reproachfully. His skin was hypersensitive, and having her touch him was almost more than he could take. A side effect of the drugs. He wanted to hold her, wanted her to tell him it was okay, but even having him put a hand on his own skin caused a pain reaction, a tingling sensation crawling over his skin in the area being touched. And even though he wanted to touch her, and feel her near to him, something inside him made him not want to be touched at all, sensitive skin or not. He felt wrong to be pitied, touched, by Jesimae, when she had no idea what kind of a person he really was. What kind of a liar, a cheater. She didn't know what kind of a evil human being he truly, inside himself, was.

He ran a hand across his forehead, his eyes fixated on the bottle in his hands. He could not take another drink, he felt the block of ice in his stomach shift, and a temporary queasy feeling came over him, passing almost as soon as it had come. He took a deep breath and let it out his nose, closing his eyes and shaking his head.

"I'm sorry, Jesimae. But just...not now..." he murmured.

[Jesimae Lawson]

Jesimae sat back after she stared down at the table trying to hold back the urge to just scream at him and tell him that she couldn't live like this. What the hell was wrong? She wasn't stupid! He was harboring something from her and he was allowing it to eat him up inside. She just had to say something...just....something!

Jesimae slowly stood as she frowned softly, nodding at his words that cut deeply at her even if he had not meant them to. She held her cup and walked over to him and looked at the side of his face. She frowned in sadness, her eyes dying to let the tears of sadness, fear, concern, and just sheer anger. She put a hand to her forehead and she closed her eyes while the other squeezed the rim of the cup.

"Taro..." She drew in a deep breath as she tried to think, but not being able to find words to soften the blow that was going to come. She dropped her hand and opened her eyes that were red with tears. She was at least glad they weren't falling, yet. She didn't care what he wanted she leaned over and gave him a kiss on the shoulder keeping them there for just a moment before moving away before he could recoil.

"I am not stupid, something isn't right here. I wish you'd tell me, but I'm not going to ask." She paused a moment and wiped a tear that escaped away as she looked at the sink, not wanting to see him for fear she'd break down and just cause more trouble that was already there.

"I'm losing you, Taro...and I don't know why." She brushed by him and walked out. She just wanted to go home. A few hours ago they were all laughing nad playing, but not anymore. It seemed the happiness came in spurts and even then it was hard to keep the humor going, to keep that good feeling there. It was everywhere, the sadness and the depression for the inevitable was well at hand. The death of him was slowly approaching. Everyone could feel it.

[Taro Lawson]

"You're losing me. I know that. I'm losing me..."Taro whispered to the no one that was left in the kitchen when she left. He put his hands over his face, clawing at his hair, clenching his teeth together. He whirled around, hurling his bottle at the opposite wall, hearing it shatter, the bottle literally exploding outwards, shards of glass and the contents flying everywhere, a bit of glass cutting Taro's cheek a little. "I'm losing my goddamn mind!" he screamed at the wall.

He pressed the heals of his hands into his eyes. They were burning, aching, he could not see correctly, could not think straight. He was dying to talk, dying to tell Jesimae what was wrong, dying to go home, to be with her.

"Why don't you open your mouth!" he snarled. "Open your damn mouth and talk to her, you bastard!"

But he couldn't and he wouldn't. He couldn't put his pains on her. Knew she wouldn't understand. He was already enough of a burden on her, he did want to become even more of one. He just wanted to relieve the pressure in his chest and screaming was the only way he could do it. This wasn't the first time either. He had shattered a small mirror only the day before because his pent up emotions got the better of him.

But no matter what Taro broke, what he said, how much he cursed, it didn't really help. For a moment it might have, but an hour later and the pressure was there again, pressing on his chest, weighing on his mind, telling him in no uncertain terms again and again how awful things were, and how they were going to get worse.

"I love you, Jesimae..." he said, grasping handfuls of hair. "I love you...I love you...but I can't tell you what's wrong...I cannot do it..."

[Jesimae Lawson]

Jesimae closed the bedroom door, clenching her jaw and cup. She heard him break the wine, scream things she could not hear. Something was terribly wrong and he wasn't going to tell her not even if she opened her mouth and asked. She was on the verge of just packing her things and leaving, but she couldn't do it. Her heart wouldn't let her. Despite the problems that were surrounding everyone in that house she was going to suffer through it, endure the pain that everyone else was because she never took the easy way out. She too became furious, furious that she wasn't saying anything, furious that Taro wasn't either, and furious because she was watching the only thing she loved most in the world fall into this ungodly place. She knew the further he sank into whaever it was, she'd never be able to get him out, get the same man back. She screamed and tossed her glass across the room, watching the tea spill down the wall and the glass fall to the floor in many pieces. She let out her tears of pain and anguish, torture and suffering, exhaustion and sadness.

She sniffed and let out a sigh and then a groan. "Kusso." She said sadly and remorsefully as she walked over to the wall and picked up the pieces of porcelain that luckily hadn't shattered, just simply broke into a few pieces. She placed them into her hand and stood up tossing them away and not even caring to clean up the water. She stretched out on the bed and smelled Taro on the pillow. She wanted to just hold him so tight and tell him that whatever problems he was having she was there to suffer through it with him, but she couldn't touch him, he didn't want to be.

"kusso." She said again as she wiped her tears away and hugged his pillow, remembering the times when they were actually happy, genuinely happy. Everytime she saw him smile now....she knew it wasn't real, knew that that wasn't the Taro she knew.

[Taro Lawson]

Taro lay downon the bathroom floor. It was cold and unfeeling, it didn't judge him, didn't tell him what was right. It didn't not scold him, did not hurt him, merely supported him as his head spun, and the drugs took affect. He'd used more this time. More than before, but he needed this, needed the silence of heart, of mind, needed the calm, even if it only lasted a few extra minutes.

He had locked the door tightly, made sure no one was in the room beyond before he had come in here. It had been some time since he had seen Jesimae, and he hoped she wouldn't wonder where he was and come looking for him. Although with the way he had treated her earlier, and continued to, he doubted she would be looking for him any time soon.

Taro let out a sigh. This wasn't right. He knew that. But there was no other way. No other way he could get his emotions to shut up for a moment so he could really think, clearly. He hated himself. But he had no options left.

[Jesimae Lawson]

Jesimae flipped around on the bed trying to find a comfortable spot but it seemed everywhere she moved it was cold and lumpy. The only person who could probably fix this problem would've been Taro, but she wasn't about to venture out of the room to find him. He was mad and apparently he wanted to be untouched and remain as distant as ever. As bad as it felt to think this she wanted the man in the other room to hurry up and die. It would end his suffering, long suffering at that, and end theirs as well.

"Hell." She groaned as she tossed onto her side to look at the door. How she prayed Taro would walk through, apologize, kiss her, hold her, love her. But that wasn't going to happen any time soon, if at all the rest of the night. She wondered what Jiro was doing, if she could go and speak her mind and get these concerns out into the open. Heck, Jiro would probably tell her what is wrong since Taro seemed to disperse such information to his true other half, but she didn't want to get the angel all paranoid and concerned with things he didn't need to think of.

Jesimae was just going to lay there in her boredom, worry, and loneliness and watch the door, hopefully something would happen. Someone would call for her, someone would actually need her for a moment.

[Taro Lawson]

Emerging from the bathroom, Taro was immediately exhausted. He needed to sleep. He needed a lot of sleep. He needed a bed, any would do, anywhere, any way. He just needed one.

Making his way down the dakr hall and feeling his way to the door to the bedroom he and Jesimae shared, he stumbled in and blindly walked for the bed, peeling off his shirt and disposing of it onto the floor. He felt his knees bump the edge of the bed. He moved around to the other side, and as if a huge weight were pulling him down, he slid down onto the mattress, drawing his knees to his chest and burying his face into his legs, and grasping his hair with his hands.

He was so tired, but he knew he would never be able to go to sleep. He was too sleepy to sleep. Vaguely, Taro was aware that Jesimae was lying next to him, but he feared reactions if he said anything to her.

[Jesimae Lawson]

Jesimae watched him stumble into the room, almost as if he were a blind man. She frowned and watched him, what the hell was wrong with him? She felt sick seeing him like that, but she had been feeling like that most of the day. She watched him tear off his shirt and hit the bed only to move to the other side and literally fall onto the matress. The bed shook roughly and for a moment she thought she'd have to hold on for dear life, but before she could ask him if he tripped the bed stopped and it seemed as if nobody was on there at all. She frowned and glanced over her shoulder at the tiny man curled into the fetal position, his knuckles white from grabbing a mass of his hair.

She slowly moved and glared at him as he squeezed his eyes shut. Was he turning into Haruko? Was he fighting his own demons within? Jesimae was so confused, so helpless in this fight he was having. But even if she knew she'd swear she'd still be the one supporting him all the way. She moved and slid a bit closer, hoping to God he didn't reject the closeness she was yearning to somehow feel. She laid on her side and glared at his back for a moment before leaning on her right elbow and putting her left arm around his waist and leaning over him to whisper in his ear.

"Taro..." She said hoping she wasn't somehow hurting him. "I love you. Please," She bit her lower lip as she moved her eyes from his face down his body then back up again, surveying him. She thought of what she was wanting to ask, if he said no she was going to just distance herself with him for the rest of the trip, at least this way she'd not get in his way at all.

"Will you let me hold you?"

[Taro Lawson]

Taro's skin automatically panged with pain as her skin slid over his. This most simple of gestures that he ususally welcomed, was causing him such pain. But he did not want to tell her no again. He wanted to be close to her, wanted to let her hold him. Maybe he could ignore the pain for a few moments. Just a few moments, so he could have some peace, and be free to love her as he knew that he did.

Shifting slightly, and then turning over to face her, he curled out of his protective ball and looked at her face in the darkness. The silence between them now, was different than what it had been before. Any other night they would lay in bed and not say anything, there was a gentle understanding between them, and Taro had enjoyed it. But now the silence was confused and angry, frightened and hurt. It was wrenching his heart from his chest.

Blinking once and then again to hopefully keep the tears of rage and frustration from surfacing, he slowly, painfully slowly, relaxed into her touch, praying that Buddha would take the pain of the contact away.

"Please..." he whispered helplessly. "Be careful."

[Jesimae Lawson]

Jesimae bit her lower lip when she felt him move and uncurl from the position he was in. She moved her arm above him, waiting till he said "go" before putting her hands back on him. She heard him sigh out as if that hurt him to even move and when he looked at her she wanted to cry. His eyes looked different, his eyes were bloodshot, his face red, yet he was cold as ice when she touched him. He blinked and she swore his eyes glazed slightly, but she couldn't tell he looked like someone completely different, acted like someone completely different. He was turning into someone she had never seen before right in front of her and there wasn't anything she could do except pray she could love the new person coming to the surface. For the first time she prayed to Buddha, the Lawson's religious ways having rubbed off on her somewhat.

"Please..." He said in such a low voice that she wasn't even sure he had said anything to her. But she registered that he agreed in such a sad way. "Be careful." She nodded and let her lip go when she felt him relax she let out a sigh of relief within. At least he still loved her and that made her sad inside to think that she was beginning to doubt it.

She held him very gently, as he had asked, and kept her head near his own, afraid to even breathe on his skin in case it was ultra-sensitive, which apparently it was. She stared at him for a moment finding things she had never seen before in her life. The different shapes his face too, the lines, the pores, the tiny scars he had. He was still beautiful as when she met him, but he looked different now, older in some way. And it was easy to see why, look what had happened in the few months they'd known each other.

"Taro, I love you." She said again, biting her lip. "What is wrong, please tell me something."

[Taro Lawson]

Taro closed his tired and aching eyes as the woman held him gently, though the simple touches felt as if they were tugging his skin away from his muscles and bones. It hurt badly, but he didn't want to move away. For the first time in the days that they had been here, he felt loved. He felt as if someone on this horrible rock cared whether he lived or died, cared what he was feeling.

Taro heard her question but wasn't at all sure if he had heard it correctly. But he knew he had. She wanted him to tell. Wanted him to explain what the problem was. But he could not do it. He couldn't put himself on her like that. And if he went into it, he knew that eventually, they would come to him and his drugs. Him and why he disappeared into the bathroom so much. Him and why his eyes were bloodshot and his skin so sensitive.

Those were things Jesimae could never know. Never. He could never tell her. He couldn't tell her anything. She would not understand. How could she? How could anyone say they understood, or pretend they did, when they were not him? They could not feel what he was feeling. They could never feel it, and could not say that they understood, when he knew that they didn't.

"I love you, Jesimae..." he whispered to her, his voice gruff from the rock in his throat. "I love you, and that is all you need to know. I haven't stopped loving you, and I will never stop."

[Jesimae Lawson]

Jesimae let out a sigh as she closed her eyes. She knew he would avoid the question like he used to. She had to do what she promised, she was going to just ignore it and take his retort with a grain of salt. A huge grain of salt.

"Okay, Taro." She said lowly as she moved out of his arms. "I love you, too. I am not going to ask what is wrong even though I know something is. Just...tell me you will be okay?" She touched his hair, running her fingers through it soflty and not trying to touch his scalp.

"I'm scared, Taro."

[Taro Lawson]

Taro sighed out through his nose when she moved away. His was trembling from the pain, but the feeling of her hands touching his hair calmed him somehwhat. It was contact that did not hurt. For the first time, something did not hurt.

"I will be okay," he muttered to her, reaching out a hand to touch her face, the softness feeling rough under his fingertips. He blinked and then sighed out again. "I know you're scared, Kanojo. I know you don't understand. I am scared too...I am terrified. But things will work through on thier own. I can promise you that. I can promise."

[Jesimae Lawson]

Jesimae nodded and enjoyed the feeling of having him touch her. It had been a while since he had done that and she was so happy to feel him again, feel his skin against hers in a way that meant nothing but love.

"I will help you thorugh this, I am always going to love you no matter what has happened. I want you to know that, Taro." She was saying this for she knew something was wrong, something personal. Whatever was going on she was determined to love him even if he had done something so wrong that not even hell would have him, she'd always be there.

She moved forward and kissed his lips gingerly. If this was how it was going ot be for the rest of eternity she'd deal with it, she'll love him, do whatever he needed. There was nothing, she knew, that Taro Lawson could do that would turn her against him. Ever.

[Taro Lawson]

Taro's heart cried out at her words. She did not know the extent of what he had done. If she knew, he knew that she would run as far from him as humanly possible. He knew she did not want to live with a junkie. Someone who turned to drugs for safety, when he should have been turning to her.

If she knew anything, Taro knew that she would never forgive him. Would throw the ring back at him, would scream and cry, and, ultimately, leave him. It was inevitable. But only if she ever found out. The pressure building inside of him was killing him. He wanted to tell her, tell someone. Just get it out. So he told Buddha.

Burying his face into Jesimae's shoulder, though it hurt so bad, he began to pray, in his own language, telling Buddha everything he wanted to tell Jesimae. She would not understand, no, but he wasn't really telling her. He was telling his God. Though he knew it would never help as much as he wished, it was something. It was a start.

[Jesimae Lawson]

"I don't understand, Taro." She said lowly as she kept touching his hair, remembering when she was able to run her hands through it without having to worry about harming him. He was so different, but she wasnt about to tell him this. She sighed out and closed her eyes for a moment, then slowly opened them as she prayed to herself, praying that something would happen to enlighten her ignorance on what was wrong with him. Hopefully someone was listening to her prayers.

"Taro, you are tired. You should try and go to sleep. If you don't want me to touch you...I won't." She glanced at his innocent face and grinned. Jesimae loved him so much that if the only way she could show him affection was through kind words then so be it. She'd tell him everyday of her life, tell him she loved him and comfort him with whatever his problems were.

[Taro Lawson]

Taro shook his head. Even though the pain was great, he did not want her to stop touching him. He never wanted her to be away from him. No matter the trials, the pain, the anger, the confusion, he never wanted Jesimae Phoenix to leave him, or stop just being who she was.

"No, Kanojo...just let me fall asleep here..." he muttered, closing his eyes and wrapping his arms around her waist. "Just let me stay here." He didn't--and frankly didn't care--how pathetic he sounded. How weak. He just wanted to stay curled up here, and never ever have to deal with the world ever again.

[Jesimae Lawson]

God, baby! Tell me what is wrong!?! She was screaming at him so loudly in her mind it was a wonder he couldn't hear it. She wanted to know! She couldn't handle this anymore, but she had to deal with it, accept it. She nodded and squeezed her eyes shut, the tears wanting to burst out in buckets. She held him in her arms like a mother would a child.

"Yeah, baby. I won't let you go."

[Taro Lawson]

When Taro awoke the next morning, the dark cloud that had been hanging over him, got so much blacker. He knew, somewhere in the deep recesses of his mind, that that day would be it. It would make it or break it.

He got up and showered, being sure to look at himself in the mirror and check his eyes and his nose. When he finished, he changed into a pair of too big jeans and a white t-shirt, drying his hair with a towel.

He saw Jesimae was still asleep when he left the room to get some pain killers for his head ache. He did not disturb her, he didn't have the heart to. He had already caused her enough trouble. He made his way to the kitchen, the house completely quiet. He took a couple of pain killers with a glass of water and leaned on the sink. He was waiting for the news that he could see his father. He knew it was coming today, he just did not know when.

[Jesimae Lawson]

Jesimae stirred awake and groaned, not feeling very good at that particular moment when her eyes opened. She let out a sigh as she moved on the bed, hoping to still feel Taro, but as she had figured he was gone. Everytime she woke up he'd be gone. It was become a habit she didn't like.

Jesimae thought back to the day before, how different he was, hopefully today he'd be better, but somehow she doubted it. She moved off the bed and felt her feet touch the floor, something not right with how she woke up. There was something wrong with the atmosphere she could tell. Had the man finally come to? Was he ready? Were thy going to see him finally after being there for so long?

[Taro Lawson]

Taro wandered aimlessly through the house, with no destination in particular. He just needed movement. His body ached, his mind ached, his soul ached. Everything that could possibly hurt on his body did, and Taro did not know how to soothe it. His skin was not quite as sensitive now, but his skin was getting dry and itchy. The second side effect after the hypersensitivity.

He wandered to the common room of the house. No one was there, the lights were off, the street outside the window completely and utterly deserted. How early was it? Glancing down, Taro checked his watch. Eight forty three. That was definately earlier than he had been getting up recently as he had been so tired and so worn out from his escalating drug use that all he did was sleep. Sleep, eat, shower, sleep some more, take pain killers, eat, shower, sleep. It was a cycle that he could not get out of. But today was going to be different. He had a feeling he wasn't going to be sleeping at all this night.

The door was open. For the first time since they had arrived there, the mysterious black door on the hall off of the front door was open, cracked slightly, showing a sliver of a dark room beyond. Taro peered around the corner at the door and the little bit of the room that he could see beyond. He watched the dark sliver for a moment as if it might do something other than be the dark sliver it had been the past five minutes.

Taro did not know whether he should go in, see his father alone, or wait for Jiro and Haruko to wake up. He did not know if he trusted himself not to strangle the old fool and simply say that he had died while he was in there.

Ignoring such thoughts he crept down the hall towards the black door. An awkward symbol was scrawled onto the front. Taro recognized it after a few moments of turning his head this way and that, that it was his father's name in Kanji. Though it looked as if whoever had painted it there were either blind, or drunk, as the lines were so off in places that it resembled about forty other Chinese characters. Taro licked his lips, ignoring the symbol and putting a hand on the doorknob of the forebidding door, pushing on it just a little bit, allowing it to swing open a little more, letting in a tiny bit more light than was there before. Not that it made anything in the room more visible.

Taro peered into the darkness of the room beyond, unable to make out anything more than what stood in front of the window on the far side of the room. And even that was dark shapes and silohettes that meant nothing to Taro's eyes. The curtains, he noted, had been sown and stapled together, the window on the other side painted with some sort of dark paint. Taro wondered breifly if the S.D.S. gave his father horrible or intolerant eyesight, accounting for why he stayed in a dark room, down a dark hallway, in the darkest part of the house, with the curtains and window completely sealed up.

The dark, morbid scene before Taro made chills run up and down his spine. He could not see the pale man lying on the bed to know he was there. He could hear the rattling breaths the feeble man took, could sense the labored heart continuing to beat when it long since should have given out. Taro did not need to see the old fool to know that he was just skin and bones. He did not need his vision to feel the hate in the room he was standing on the threshold of. The hate, the fear, the torment, the sadness. Taro sensed it all and it frightened him, frightened him more than anything else in the world had ever frightened him.

"Taro? Is that you my boy?"

The voice was so silent, so translucent, Taro was not sure that he had heard it. But the sound of the skeleton like voice could not be mistaken in the silence of the rest of the house. It sounded pitiful and evil all at the same time. It sent chills through Taro and he could do nothing but stand and gape into the darkness at a bitter, wintry spector that floated in an ether Taro could not tap into.

"Taro?" came the voice again. Taro pulled back on the door, shutting it quickly and backing away, dropping the glass he held in his hand and listening as it shattered at his feet. But the sound of splintering glass was so faint, as if he were listening to it on a televison turned down too low. The feeling of the water splashing over his feet was distant and the bit of glass he tread on hurt less than stepping on a tiny pebble, though blood immediately gushed from the wound.

Taro's mind had gone completely, and utterly blank. This was not his father. It could not be. His father...he was bigger, stronger, angrier. He was not this feeble old man who could not eat, drink, dress on his own, could barely speak without difficulty, couldn't move without the help of something outside his body and will. Taro did not know how this could possibly be the large man that had picked his tiny baby brother up by the neck and all but hurled him across at a corner in which Taro had been cowering. This wasn't what he had expected to see. This scared him, frightened him beyond all reason.

Because Taro finally felt an actual pang of guilt, of sadness, for the man he had once called father.

[Jesimae Lawson]

Jesimae jerked the bathroom door open quickly and glanced around as she stuck her head out around the corner, a hand towel in her free hand while the other grabbed the door handle. She frowned and tossed the towel into the sink and walked out knowing she had heard something break. Was Taro on a rampage again? God how hormonal he could be sometimes.

"Taro?" She asked, wondering if it was him forgetting that there were other people living in the house aside from them. And thinking of the most weak person in the whole house it wouldn't be a surprise if he was stumbling around trying to get something to drink and he dropped his glass. Her stomach went into her throat. Oh God, what if he was awake? What if he was there? What if...

"Taro!" Jesimae gasped when she saw him walking towards her with a look that scared her. She glanced down at him and noticed the blood on the floor. "What the hell happened to you!?" She held a hand to her mouth as she looked at him with sheer fright and terror. Her eyes stung with tears. What the hell was going on with Taro? Was he losing his mind?

"Taro! What the hell is wrong with you!?" Jesimae screamed this at the top of her lungs, the frustration, fear, loneliness, confusion, stress, and pressure finally causing her to snap. She looked at him as tears ran down her face she knew he wasn't going to say anything like he never did so she went ahead and shook her head. Jesimae turned around and jogged to the bedroom and slammed the door. What was happening to her baby?

[Taro Lawson]

Taro couldn't see much. He couldn't hear, he could barely feel anything. Jesimea's form had been hazy and her words slurred. The pain radiating from his foot through his leg was nearly unbearable. He scrunched his face against it as he made his way towards the bedroom he shared with Jesimae. He did not know why she had run, but she had and it made him a little bit angry.

Stumbling into the bedroom, keeping an eye on his bloody foot, he leaned against the wall and looked over at Jesimae as he tripped for the bathroom, grabbing his duffel bag on the way. He growled at her for no reason, going onto the tile where the blood could be easily cleaned off. He slammed the door shut and locked it. He inteneded to do more than just take care of his wound.

He sat back on the sink and pulled his leg up into the sink. He did not know how deep the cut was, but it hurt like none other, and Taro could see the bit of glass potruding slightly. Running water over it, washing the blood away, he reached down and took a hold of the bit of glass, pulling it slowly out of his foot. The pain that shot through his foot was sharp and made him bite his lip hard.

"Kusso!" he exclaimed, pulling it completely out and hurling it over his shoulder into the bath tub. He got the medic items and wrapped his still bleeding foot up in medicated gauze. He clenched his jaw reaching down into his bag and pulling out a bag of his drugs, looking down into it and sighing a little. He made a move to pull out a straw and bit of cardboard, but remembered that Jesimae was just in the other room. This would have to wait a little while.

"Damn it..." he muttered angrily. He didn't know why that had shaken him so much, but it had.

[Jesimae Lawson]

Jesimae glanced around on the bed as she glanced at what she had dumped out of her purse. She picked up the money she had and walked around the room grabbing a key for the house and pulling on a pair of shoes. She let out a sigh as she heard her foot thump loudly on the floor as she began to tie the other. Her mind was racing with horrorible thoughts, fear, sadness, confusion... whatever the hell was going on she didn't want to be there to witness it any longer. This was getting too dramatic too ridden with horror and things that nobody was willing to speak about. She wasn't one to take the easy way out but after seeing Taro like that in the room...

"I have to!" She said to herself as she stood up and jogged over to the closet and ripped her black trench coat off the hanger. She sniffed back the tears as she pulled it on quickly and then put her hands behind her neck and pulled her hair out from underneath the collar. She glanced at the door that Taro had gone into, he was doing something, hopefully mending his wounds because after this she wasn't about to even act concerned, when in reality she was so scared for him that she could barely think straight. She moved her eyes back to the bed and pulled the strap of her purse over her shoulder and allowed it to hang at her side. She grabbed the key and put the money inside her purse. She was going to go somewhere other than here. She couldn't handle this crap anymore. Not right now at least.

[Taro Lawson]

Taro emerged slowly from the bathroom, sick at his stomach, and sweating. He felt like at any moment he might vomit and pass out at the same exact moment. But he almost welcomed it, as at least it would give him a little peace, and make him feel better.

He made his way to the bed, clutching his stomach that was twisting into knots with every movement. Any time, he would be told he could talk with his father, tell him everything, yell at the man, anything he wanted to do. And yet, Taro no longer had the spirit to do it. He no longer had the desire for anything. His finacee hated him, not that he truly blamed her, his youngest brother acted as if there was nothing wrong, and his other brother was too up on meds to know anything in the world had interrupted his world at all.

Taro put his head in his hands, blowing a sigh out of his mouth. For a moment, he merely sat there in silence, letting everything sink in. When he heard footsteps heading for his door, he did not need to look to see who it was.

The young korean man who was also staying there and was in charge of Taro's father leaned on the doorframe of the room, and for a moment or two regarded Taro with quiet reverence and interest. When Taro finally looked up was when the man seemed to come back to himself.

"Mr. Lawson is awake...if you and your brother are ready..." the man said. Taro nodded, waving him away. He obeyed admirably and left quickly. Taro got up from his bed and limped out into the hallway, going to Jiro's door and knocking.

"Jiro...it's time..." he said to him in Japanese, hoping his brother was not sleeping too soundly. This was going to make it or break it. This meeting was going to change Taro's life forever.

[Jesimae Lawson]

Jesimae was walking just to walk, her mind being cleared for the first time since she made it onto this god awful rock. She hated being there, hated everything that had occured. She just hoped that after the man died everything will be back to normal and everyone could just go back home without any troubles.

"It is never that easy." Jesimae answered herself as she held onto her coat the sand storms blowing her left and right. This place had nothing good to do and for a moment she was contemplating on just going back, but she couldn't, not yet. She was needing to just get out of the house, get away from everyone. Since she exited that building she felt better as if this huge weight had been lifted, but the pit of her stomach still hurt.

Jesimae loved Taro and she prayed that he was going to be okay, but after todays incidents she wondered if he was even the same person. What was she going to do with him? She sighed and turned back, she needed to just go sleep it off, sleep and forget everything that was happening.

[Taro Lawson]

Taro's legs felt like jello. He had already encountered the man, and he wasn't fond of doing it again. But he was the ringleader. He was the one who was striding resolutely down the hall, Jiro, Haruko, and Orange in tow. They were all following him, waiting for him to react, as if he were the general, and they, his soldiers.

What they didn't know, and what Taro didn't want them to know, was that inside his emotions were being buffeted left and right. He did not know how to feel anymore. He didn't know if he should be angry, or sad, or scared. He didn't know what his father was going to say, whether he was still the awful person that had left them alone so long ago. He didn't want to face this, didn't want any of them to face it.

But especially, he didn't want Jiro to face it.

Jiro was so impressionable, so young and innocent. Even if outwardly he didn't seem to be, Jiro was a scared kid. He was scared and worried and he had a lot of cares. Even if he laughed it off, or pretended like something did not bother him, Taro knew that it did, knew that things stuck with Jiro far longer than he wanted to admit to anyone. And Taro had a bad feeling about allowing Jiro to see his father. The father he had never known, not really. Taro didn't want Jiro to be scarred with the image that his father was a skeleton.

The black door was still and foreboding, however, inside there was a small amount of light emminating. Taro almost haulted for the fear that erupted in his stomach. That really truly meant the man was awake, alive. At least his earlier encounter he could have shrugged off as his imagination playing tricks on him. But now, he actually had to stare down the fact that his father was alive. He had to deal with it.

The moment they stepped into the room, a feeling of true hatred and evil poured over Taro like an inescapable hand clutching his 'round the waist, threatening to suffocate him. He had to take several deep breaths before he could regain his composure and continue into the room. He kept his eyes averted from the bed, he did not want to see.

"Don't want to look at your old man, Taro?" came a raspy, rattling skeleton voice from the bed. Fear shot down Taro's spine. After all these years. After all the sadness, anger, hate, and revengeful attitudes, the man still struck fear in Taro. The same fear he had felt as a little child, cowering in a corner while the big man had come at him with the jagged edge of a bottle, still rippled through him as he heard the old, tired voice of that same man. It would never matter how much more powerful than Taro that man was, he would always fear him. He would never be able to forgive him.

But he had to look at him. He had to see what had become of him. Slowly turning as he reached the bed and carefully choosing the aim of his gaze he slowly, methodically lay his eyes on the man lying helplessly in the bed.

And Taro nearly cried.

The face that lay on the pillow was as white or whiter than. The blankets were spread over nothing but a skeletal frame, with skin barely clinging to it. His epidermus had a grey tint to it, and a leathery quality. Wisps of white and silver hair clung to his forehead and cheeks, and spread out over the pillow. Skin was stretched sickeningly over a bulging sick skull. Thin lips covered greyish teeth. And staring out at him were one musty blue eye and one black looking one, sunken into eye sockets that had aged far past being able to hold them stable any longer.

Every breath he took rattled in his chest, sounded like they were rattling the bones of his very being. He shook slightly, and the only movement Taro saw was slight head movement inclining his direction and eye movements. Both which seemed to take all his energy away.

Yet, as frightening as the scene spread out before him was, Taro could not help but look at the man and still see how handsome he was. He and his brothers had gotten thier looks from thier father, and even now as he wasted away to nothing, he was doing it in a regal way. His chin was lifted slightly and his eyes were defiant, as if daring someone to feel sorry for him. No longer did they hold the hate Taro remembered so well from his childhood.

The only thing he saw in the man's eyes was freedom and happiness. Yet he also saw sadness and was that...it could not be...

Love.

[Jesimae Lawson]

Jesimae walked into the apartment and glanced around as she pulled the key out of the door, it not being a modern type house like hers was back home on Coruscant. She frowned when she glanced at the long dark hallway and saw the door had been opened. She gasped to herself and frowned, closing the door gently before slowly walking towards it.

So it was now. So he was now awake, this was the moment everyone had been preparing for. Should she even meet him? Should she even let the man know she existed? She didn't truly care at this moment, she wanted to hear what was going on in that dark dismal room. She heard a man breathing heavily and she knew it was the man laying on the bed, withering away to nothing. She felt a cold shiver come down her spine as she wondered what Taro was doing, how he was reacting to finally meeting him face to face after so many years.

She bit her lower lip and leaned against the wall, not wanting to be seen, just wanting to hear. Wanting to see if everything was going as well as she had prayed it would. She held her breath when she heard him speak to Taro, unable to make out his words. But she knew she heard something, heard him mention his name. Jesimae closed her eyes and hoped he would not be a sour and hateful as he was planning to be. This very well might have been the last time they'd ever get to see one another, speak, and share a good memory.

[Taro Lawson]

Taro slowly got to his knees next to the bed. He could not say anything just now. He just wanted to look at the creature lying in the bed in front of him that used to be so big, so strong, so...not what he was now. Taro just wanted to marvel at him, marvel at the fact that he was angry yet so sad for this man. That he still feared him, yet felt dominance over him. Taro could not identify the conlficting emotions inside of him. All he knew was that they were joining and separating and scaring him to death.

Jiro also got to his knees, on the other side of the bed, wonder on his face and slight fear in his eyes. Taro watched his younger brother. Thier father's head slowly turned to look over at him, and a smile slowly, but surely, crept across the man's face.

"Little Jiro," he whispered almost inaudibly. Jiro bit his lip a moment before slowly slipping his hand over to touch the man's and finally, grasp it reassuringly. "I knew you'd grow into being a handsome man. I was right."

Taro's spine went rigid. His skin crawled. The hair on the back of his neck stood up. He was suddenly not feeling slight guilt anymore. He was suddenly furious. This man who had taken Jiro by the scruff of his neck and hurled him across the room; this man who had taken great pleasure in putting needles in the baby's skin just to hear him cry; this man who had dumped them on the street because he could not take that he had screwed and married a hooker, had the audacity to say that he had thought anything remotely affactionate for Jiro.

Taro suddenly wanted to strangle him.

[Jesimae Lawson]

Jesimae grinned soflty feeling a deep pain of sadness for the man. Sure Taro had told her stories of their past and told her how Jiro had no idea about the horrors the man had done, but time can change people, guilt and death can change people. It was sad to know that it took evil people such a disease to change their ways, but at least the man had changed.

Jesimae moved a little closer to hear them all speak for the man was so weak his voice was barely audible to her. She bit her lower lip hearing him pant as if a few words winded him. She wondered if he was about to die, if this was going to be that last time. She hated to think of this moment being the last moment the boys shared, but if that was the way it was intended then so be it. She just hoped after this Taro would be okay, would go back to being his normal self, but then again death seemed to make people worse.

[Taro Lawson]

The old man turned his spector like face to Taro and slowly, painfully, reached a thin, shivering hand towards him, touching his hand just slightly. Taro immediately pulled it out of his reach. It awarded him an absolutely enraged glare from his younger brother, and a saddened one from his eldest. But Taro did not care. This did not concern either Jiro or Haruko. This was between Taro Lawson and Jin'la Lawson.

The man's eyes traveled from the recoiled hand to Taro's face, his one blind eye staring through Taro and the seeing eye keeping a fixed gaze on him. It held an emotion Taro could not read, but he did not want to. He didn't care. He didn't care what the man was feeling. He just hoped he was in the worst pain there was.

"You still hate me, Taro? After all these years of hating, its a wonder you can still hate so freely, so truly, and so thoroughly," he said quietly, his voice seeming to have gotten stronger for some reason. Taro swallowed the lump in his throat, but said nothing. He and the man merely regarded one another for a moment before either said anything.

"I know that I did some things that weren't right in my life. But time, Taro...it has taken its toll. It has cleared my head. I can see you for the beautiful young man you are now. I can see that what I did to you..." but the words trailed off, and Taro was glad that they had, for with every one uttered he was getting angrier and angrier. Surely the old fool did not think that words could mend the pain he caused? That they could stitch up the lacerations of his heart that had festered in his absence and seeped in his presence? Was this man really so senile? Was he really so ignorant?

"I hate...because at least I have the right to hate you..." Taro purred out between clenched teeth. He thought Jiro was going to have cardiac arrest from that statement, but a placating hand on his shoulder from Haruko warned him that this was to be had out between Taro and Jin'la only. "You have no right to pretend to be our father now. After all your years of blaming others, its a wonder you are in this good a state, Jin'la."

The man closed his eyes as if the words had physically hurt him. Taro did not care. The hate that he had been harboring all these years was overcoming the guilt he had felt earlier. Now all he wanted, was for Jin'la Lawson to just die.

[Jesimae Lawson]

Jesimae fingered her collarbone as she listened, eavesdropped, but she didn't care that was her life in there and she at least wanted to know how he was doing. Apparently it wasn'g going as she had hoped, how anyone had hoped but she could not blame him. The things Jin'la had done to those boys was nothing to be accepted or forgiven, but still that did not mean that time could not heal bitter hearts and ignorant minds. She closed her eyes slowly as she heard Taro retort to the old man, speaking of hate and how passionate he was. Jesimae stifled a grin only wanting to tell the old man how he had missed, probably, the best years of his childs life and how he had no idea how passionate he was when he was mad. For some reason hearing the man speak as if he knew Taro was infuriating her and it was causing her to realize how much she loved Taro and how she would die for him, which was more than she could say for the useless father.

Jesimae let out a sigh she wasn't supposed to be taking sides, let alone eavesdropping on a matter that probably didn't concern her. But in a way it did, this was going to affect the way Taro acted. She could only imagine what her poor baby was thinking in his mind, probably thoughts of sheer hate and loathing for the man he didn't want to call father.

[Taro Lawson]

Taro backed away from the bed slightly. He suddenly didn't want to stand there anymore. Didn't want to be in this man's presence. He just wanted to leave, throw up, and die.

Taro shook his head, walking around the bed, a hand over his mouth. He made his way to the door and walked out. He immediately felt better once he was out of the hate. He felt better once he was no longer in that man's presence. He felt like a rock had been pulled off his shoulders. But the block of ice remained in his stomach. He heard Jiro giving the old man words of comfort and speaking to Haruko in Japanese, telling him something poor about Taro no doubt. But it did not matter what Jiro thought.

Taro could not stop the feelings he felt. He could not stop hating this man. Because after so many years of hating, he did not know what else to feel for the man.

[Jesimae Lawson]

Jesimae walked behind Taro and she wanted to reach out to him and hold him, but she resisted the urge. With the way he was walking it was easy to see he was furious and was in a state of sheer hating for the man. She slowly walked until he stopped and she was then biting her tongue. She wanted to ask him if he was okay, but with the argument they had earlier, if one would want to call it that, she was afraid he'd blow up on her instead of putting his anger into throwing another bottle, cup, or bowl of food.

"Taro, baby...are you okay?"

[Taro Lawson]

Taro startled at the sound of her voice, pivoting around to look at her, blinking several times in succession. He looked at her for two full heart beats before closing his eyes, letting his head roll over to the side, as if he were so exhausted he could not keep it up. Which, in reality, he was.

Taro's body hurt. His mind hurt, his soul hurt, anything and everything that had the ability to hurt, was doing so right then. He couldn't think straight anymore. He needed to sleep, he needed to take some pain medication, he needed...

Taro needed his drugs.

[Jesimae Lawson]

Jesimae frowned at his inability to respond. She wanted him to be normal again, she wanted to see the man she fell in love with for this wasn't the man she knew long ago. He looked so tired, so stressed, and something else she still could not place. What the hell was up with him? Why couldn't he just tell her something. Sooner or later, she was sure, the truth would somehow make its way out.

"Taro?" She asked. "Are you okay? And I want an honest answer this time." She asked again.

[Taro Lawson]

Taro licked his lips slowly. His systems were beginning to crave his drugs. They needed them. He needed them. Taro opened his eyes and looked at Jesimae. He shook his head, and then looked down at his hands that were trembling slightly. This wasn't good. He needed to get a fix quick before Jesimae realized that there was really something up.

"I am not okay, Jes, no. But what is wrong with me, no one in this house can fix..." he muttered to her. "No one can make it go away."

Taro turned and started down the hall again towards thier shared room, and his drugs. He needed just a little bit to get him by until he could have enough time to take a couple more doses. Taro just wanted to feel calm again. Something he hadn't in so long, he did not know what it felt like anymore.

[Jesimae Lawson]

Jesimae watched him turn and leave to go the bedroom, why the hell did he always go there? What the hell was in that room that he needed? She frowned so confused. Jesimae suddenly began to have her doubts, have her doubts about Taro and the relationship they had. This wasn't very good, if he didn't straighten up and by the looks of it that wasn't going to happen, she was going to leave. It was a painful thing to even have cross her mind but she couldn't live like this, couldn't live with a man she did not know.

"Can you not tell me? Ever!?" Jesimae fell into the couch and buried her face into her hands. How could one dying man change everything? Jabari changed her life when he died but she got over it, she didn't have such a time like he was. And hers was much worse! Her fiance had killed him right in front of her eyes!

[Taro Lawson]

Taro heard her scream at him and instinctively, and subconciously in defense of himself, he screamed back, although he waited until he had shut the door of the bathroom. He did not know what it was with Jesimae. Why could she not just accept that he was having his own problems and that he would work through them? She always had to know everything, had to be in on his business. If she would give him time to work it out, he would eventually tell her how angry he was with his father, how he couldn't stop hating the old man.

But Jesimae had to know now. She had to know why, what, how, when, where. Taro hated it. Hated feeling like he was being hated because he wanted to try and work things out. He wasn't much of a talker, so what? Why did that matter so much? All Jesimae needed to to was be there for him when he just needed her to hold. All she needed to do was just wait for him. Taro felt like he could no longer talk to her because she was simply making it too difficult for him to move around. Jesimae Phoenix was suffocating him.

And Taro didn't know if he could take it anymore.

Leaning back on the wall as he sat huddled in a corner of the locked bathroom, Taro savored the burning of his nostrils, the flaring of his lungs, the spread of the drugs througout him. Taro loved that feeling. Ever since he had lost Jesimae, it was the only thing that seemed to understand him. Ever since his best friend had given up on him and decided he was not worth her while, the drugs were the only thing there for him. They did not judge him, did not yell at him, did not tell him if he was right or wrong, didn't say that he was overreacting. They were just there.

And Taro wanted to cry. He hated the feeling of lonliness. When he met Jesimae, he never thought he would have to be lonely again. He never thought he would have to wake up in terror because of a bad dream. He did not think she would abandon him in a time when he needed her the most. And yet, in a way, Taro could not blame her. If he was her, he would probably run too.

Because when you got mixed up with the Lawsons, you got mixed up in a lot of screwed up stuff. And running was the only thing you could do.

[Jesimae Lawson]

Jesimae cried to herself silently as she stared out a window nearby, the only one she had found uncovered allowing her to see the nastiness of the planet they were on. She loved Taro so much it was hurting her. Having him hurt was killing her. She wanted to be more pushy but she knew that if she asked one more question he'd hate her forever, despise the fact that she had always needed to know the answers. But didn't he know by now? Didn't he know that since Jabari left her she was always questioning love and faithfulness? Always needed to know that if the one she loved was coming back? She was losing Taro just as she had lost Jabari and inside she was dying.

Why couldn't she tell Taro that she was dead inside now? Why couldn't she tell him that this was not going to work? Why did he never want to hold her when she was sad? Why was it always her job to love him unconditionally, love his crap, love his mood swings, hold him when he was happy, sad, lonely, or scared? Why couldn't he do something like that in return for her? She didn't want to make it seem as if this whole situation revolved around her, but if he just asked her how she was feeling just once! She was so angry at him yet so in love. She just wanted to understand, just as she had wanted to understand his past! She had been waiting patiently, for weeks she had waited and here she was, on Tattooine emotionally alone, and she was still waiting.

"How much longer am I going to have to wait, Taro Lawson? Huh? Is it going to be when I walk out of your life?" She put her head in her hands and cried to herself, God only knew that Taro would never come to her aid when she was in need of being held.

[Taro Lawson]

For the first time in Taro's life since he met Jesimae, as he reclined back on the bed, did he think that he may never truly be able to look at her in the eyes and tell her he loved her. He did not know if he could really say "I love you" when inside he was wondering if he really did.

It was an awful feeling. Wondering. But as he had come down from his high, slowly reviving from it, almost falling asleep on the bed, he had been thinking truly and clearly. He had been nothing but honest with himself for the past four hours. Doing nothing but pacing, and lying down, and writing, and admitting things to himself that he had been to scared to before. He had been explaining to himself why they were here.

He had made a list. A list of all the reasons he loved Jesimae Phoenix. It was sitting dormant on his desk, his small handwriting barely visible from where he was lying on the bed. The paper was almost rubbed through in several places from where he had erased wrong characters, stuck in new ones, wrote in English, then decided against it, cried and had his tears sink into the page, thrown it across the room in a crumpled mess because he could not beleive that he was actually doing it.

But in the end, he had smoothed it out and left it on his desk, the abused sheet staring at him, pointing an accusetory finger at him. But Taro ignored it. Taro was being something else for a little while. He was no longer Taro Lawson. He had mentally stepped away from his situation, was trying to analyze it through someone else's eyes. Was trying to judge what he was really feeling and why.

Taro did not want to walk out of this bedroom until he had truly made a decision about what he was was really going to say to his father, what he was truly going to dicuss with his brothers...and what he was going to confess to Jesimae.

[Jesimae Lawson]

Jesimae sat down by the window, glancing out of it as she cleared her head. She had been acting stupid, she loved Taro, far too much to give up on him now. If he wanted her to stay quiet then so be it. Her mouth would never question him again until he was truly ready to just spill the beans. She sighed as she watched people run around trying to save themselves from the storms they had. If people knew the risks of living there why the hell didn't they move? Jesimae smiled to herself, that question making some sense in her own way.

If she loved him so much why the hell was she acting like she wanted to leave? She wasn't going to leave him, he should have known this by now. The love she had for him ran inside of her veins straight to her heart. Taro was her heart and if he was to leave then she would be heartless, and one could not live without a heart. Jesimae was just going to sit and wait it out, allow things to reveal themselves. But still, the sooner Jin'la lawson died, the sooner they'd get home and the sooner she'd be with Taro without anyone interrupting them. She could have him fully to herself and he could have the same... but then it hit her. Did Taro love her as much as she did him? According to law, that ring on her finger said so. But his reserved ways sometimes made her ponder... but it always made her smile. Of course he loved her. Right?

[Taro Lawson]

The storm had started as a normal sand storm that always occured on Tattooine. However, it had grown and grown, and now, there was rain, sand, lightening, thunder, everything pouring from the heavens. Taro knew it was because of this house. Because of the Lawsons. It seemed wherever a Lawson boy went, there followed trouble. Like a lost puppy.

Taro had seen Asher earlier. She looked so out of her element, and Taro suddenly felt so poorly for her. God, had she picked the wrong boy to fall in love with, the wrong family to want to become a part of. Of all of them, Haruko was probably the most normal, excluding when he was off his medication, and the best choice she could have made, seeing as he was anti-social, Jiro was dysfunctional, with Orange being so right alongside him, and the twins...

Taro stomach turned. He had not thought about them at all for a long time. When they had first arrived, it had crossed his mind, but when everything had begun to go down hill, he had not considered them for a long time. And now that he did, he knew it was time to really speak to his father.

The room was dark, but the old man was still awake, Taro could sense it as he moved slowly inside. Jiro was still by the bed, his tiny body curled into a small on a blanket laid on the floor and a pillow under his head. Taro could not help but smile at the boy. No matter what the boy went through, he always seemed to stay innocent.

Taro moved to the other side of the bed and looked down at the old man still lying under the blankets, looking up at him thoughtfully, his face reading nothing.

"Have you come to ask me something, child?" the quiet voice echoed out. Taro swallowed, closing his eyes, praying to Buddha for strength, and kneeling down by the bed. He looked at his trembling hands a moment, before looking back up.

"I want to talk about my brothers."

[Jesimae Lawson]

Jesimae saw Taro walk to the room out of the corner of her eye but she did not look at him, she wanted him to think she wasn't going to bug him anymore unless he wanted her to. She listened again, but she was no longer able to really hear the conversation. Taro was wanting to now talk family, brothers. It would be the Lawson's luck if there were eight other boys out in the world somewhere. She smiled at that thought. The Lawson's were full and plenty and she loved every single one of them. Especially the most dysfunctional of them all.

"Taro, baby." She rolled her eyes she could never be mad at him no matter how hard she tried. She just prayed to Buddha that this would get resolved in the quickest and fastest way possible.

[Haruko Lawson]

Haruko knew that Taro had disappeared into thier father's room. He did not know what was being said, did not want to know. Taro needed to work things out with thier father and Haruko was ready to let him do that. However, he wanted to get a few answers and he wondered if Jesimae would have them.

Wandering slowly into the common room, he spotted Jesimae alone on one of the couches staring absentmindedly out the window at the storm raging outside. Haruko smiled a little. How he felt for Jesimae. She was suffering, he knew. He loved her deeply, he felt connected with her. He counted her among he best friends. She had been the one to defend him, befriend him back on Corsucant. And for that he would forever be greatful.

He slowly made his way over behind her, placing his hands on her slender shoulders and leaning down, kissing her on the head, mocing around to sit at her feet on the couch.

"Jesimae," he said, smiling a little bit before leaning back and drawing his knees to his chest. "I am sorry for how Taro is treating you. I don't fully understand my little brother yet...but...I did want to ask you...do you happen to know what went down between my father and Taro to make him hate Jin'la so? He is haboring so much pain. I am afraid for him."

[Jesimae Lawson]

Jesimae smiled, Haruko was a great friend and by far one of the best people she had ever met in her messed up life. He was so sweet and innocent in many ways and she wondered if he knew how precious he was? How much she loved him. She glanced at him and continued to smile, his words somehow helping her get over the awkward behavior he had been having those few days.

"I can understand where you are coming from Haruko for I don't truy understand him yet, either." She smiled and turned slightly to see him better, see the beauty he possessed. What was it with the Lawson's and their immaculate beauty?

"After you left, he was abused. Jiro was too young to remember and Taro holds a lot of resentment towards Jin'la. I specifically remember Taro telling me that their father used to poke needles into Jiro to watch him scream." She sighed out and shook her head. "I just hope time has changed him."

[Haruko Lawson]

Haruko nodded. That sounded like Jin'la. Not that he ever poked needles into Haruko, but that he wasn't exaclty the father one would want to have on a regular basis. Hence, why they had given him away. Given him away before he could cause more problems. Haruko did not know why they had continued to have Taro and then Jiro if they did not want children. His parents had been messed up people.

"Yes...that seems to fit the bill..." Haruko said. He rested his chin his hand and his elbow on his knee. "He never did any such thing when I lived with he and Mother. But he was drunk most of the time, wanted to smack our mom around more than me. Guess he redirected it to Taro and Jiro when they came along. Our mother...she was not exactly the stand up for her children type person..."

Haruko reached around him and stuck his hand into a big pocket at the back of his pants, pulling out a data pad. He flipped it on, searching through the images he had fed into it when they had become too worn to carry anymore. He found the few he had been looking for an chose one. It was of he, his father, and mother, just after he had been born.

He leaned forward, turning the datapad to Jesimae. He pointed to the woman. She was small, her hair long and silky. Haruko smiled a little.

"That's our mother. Mai Lawson. That was just a little while after I was born. You can't tell it in the picture, but her kimono was pink, and the flowers were red. My father had it custom made for her for thier wedding...one of her prized possessions. I only ever saw her where it once. You might not be able to tell, but god knows, Jiro looks so much like her. It's like looking at her again," Haruko shrugged a little.

"Most of what you see in pictures though, it was just what they put on for everyone else to see. Mother was not happy, she wasn't really right. Not that our father made it easy for her to be," Haruko explained. He figured, that since Taro was giving her a tiny peice of history, Haruko could help her peice it all together. It the least that they could do since she was mixed up in all this with them.

[Jesimae Lawson]

Jesimae leaned and looked at the picture he had on his data pad. He was right, Jiro did look a lot like her. She smiled and glanced away over to Haruko, for some reason through all this drama, stress, and torment she was actually happy. She nodded at him and couldn't stop smiling.

"Taro wouldn't dare share anything like this with me." She moved and faced Haruko completely, leaning her elbow on the back of the couch making this conversation more intimate. "I know this is going to sound awful, but I wish he was more like you and Jiro. He is so reserved, so secretive. I tried to get to know him but he was very resistant." She remembered it like it was yesterday how they could've ended their relationship based on her nosiness.

"My parents were murdered so I can feel your pain because all I know of them are by the photographs I have. Jabari, my brother, left me when I was young and I have struggled with lies and truth. I needed Taro to tell me to make me feel more secure, I think I forced it out of him." She sighed out and shrugged it off after a moment of silence. Sharing with Haruko was something she loved to do, she felt like she could tell him anything and he'd always listen. A smile crept on her face and she laughed lightly.

"I love you, Haruko. You give me such a gratifying feeling inside that I just want to explode!" She became very animated and vibrant, as if the dark cloud had been lifted just for a moment. "You are a great brother to have. I just wish I could've met you sooner."

[Haruko Lawson]

Haruko smiled at her a little bit, then nodded to her.

"Taro..." he cocked his head a little. "He talks with me...but only to a certain degree...for example...I believe it was a night or two ago, I and Jiro and Taro have our little chats in my room, I am sure you were aware. But Taro was getting very animated about you. It was a rather attractive conversation about you as well. He talks about things presently with us, but you are right when you say his reserved about his feelings, deep ones.

"I think that Taro is afraid of what will happen if he lets you know all about his past. I know extremely tiny bits of information about Taro's history. But Taro also, I think, has a bit of an inferiority complex, if you will. I think he loves you so much that he does not want to put his problems on you. And it scares him because you would be the first person who has actually cared about what has happened to him."

Haruko paused a moment, then smiled at her.

"Please, don't wish he were like I or Jiro. Because you got the brother most capable of love and caring. And I am going to tell you, Jesimae," he said, leaning forward a little as if he were about to impart some wisdom filled secret. He pointed back to the room where Taro had disappeared. "No matter how nasty he gets with you, or how reserved, or even how frightening at times, that man in there loves you with every bit of himself, and this isn't going to change it. So from me to you, brother to sister, you have my assurance that Taro will never not love you."

[Jesimae Lawson]

Jesimae smiled so happily at Haruko. Tears glazed over her eyes as the information sunk in. For the first time in a long time she felt a huge cloud of relief. Haruko had never been her best friend more than he was at that exact moment. The words he spoke were both truth with kindness and love. She was wanting so much to just go find Taro and hold him and kiss him, but for the moment Haruko was going to have to do. She leaned over to him and hugged him tightly.

"Thank you so much, Haruko. I think you are the only one who has helped me become a little bit more familiar with Taro." She moved away and continued to smile. "Sometimes though, I just wonder how it would be if he would be a little more open. I love Taro so much that I would accept any weight of his problems he put on me. I want to share everything with him, but I get scared because I am afraid I'd be crowding him. I know he loves me but at times I just...don't know.

"I want him to tell me everything, anything, anytime, anywhere... and if I told him this he'll probably think I am just a big woman wanting to talk all the time. I don't want to crowd or smother him. But when he won't tell me anything...it makes that kind of hard not to do when I want to know the man I am going to marry. Like these past few days... what is wrong with him, he won't tell me."

[Haruko Lawson]

Haruko shook his head, looking down.

"Taro's heart is very heavy with the reappearance of his father. Like your brother you mentioned, Jin'la pretty much faded off of the scene for Taro and Jiro. Taro thought the torment was over. The pain of hearing his littlest brother screaming. Taro had thought for more than a long time that he would never be plunged back into the lake of hate that Jin'la created for them. With me showing up and the realization that Jin'la is still alive, it has frightened Taro beyond anything you and I could possibly grasp.

"I know there are other things going on as well, under the surface. There are things Taro is not admitting to himself, let alone to you or I or Jiro, or any of us. Taro is suffering through something else besides just what he is showing to us. He is not just upset because of our father. I am sure there is something a little bit different going on. I am just not sure what it is. And maybe we never will. Maybe when this is all over, Taro will finally be able to let go of whatever else it is he is haboring. But until this ordeal is over, we will not know."

Haruko paused a moment, and then looked at Jesimae.

"Just love him, Jesimae. Love him as you have never loved him before. Even when he pushes you away, love him that much more. You don't have to say anything to him. If it is just a simple gesture like touching his hand. Even if he pulls it away, even if he tells you to leave him alone. He will appreciate it more than you know. I know that sounds hard. And I know it will be. But Taro just needs you to be there. He doesn't need you to wonder or to ask." Haruko laughed. "And if you ever just want to bitch about him and how much of a big woman he is being, come to me. I am always ready to listen."

[Jesimae Lawson]

Jesimae smiled and laughed at Haruko. He was getting more and more precious with every passing moment. She wasn't sure if Haruko knew how much his words were comforting her, how he was making her feel like she didn't always have to ask questions. It was helping her more than she figured and when he told her to love him as she never had before, he didn't need to say it twice for she was already loving him as much as she could.

"At least we understand him that much!" She said happily implying that they both knew how much like a woman he could be. Sometimes she wondered if she was the man in the relationship. She laughed again, such a simple thing making her feel so good again she couldn't remember when the last time she laughed with Taro.

"The same goes to you, Haruko. If you need anything at all come to me and I will deliver. After all I think I trusted you before anyone else did." She smiled at him and grabbed his hand and gave it a kiss. "Thank you for making me smile, it feels nice." She sighed out and glanced at the room. What was going on in there? Were things going okay? She remembered Haruko's words, she didn't need to ask so many questions all the time, she needed to just let things be.

"When you were in there...how did he seem?"

[Haruko Lawson]

Haruko had opened his mouth to say something, but the sound of a crashing door stopped him. He flew up out of the couch, looking around to see what was going on. The door to his father's room had been flung open so hard that it had left a large gash in the wall. Haruko's eyes went from this to the scene playing out against the wall of the hall.

His littlest brother had Taro by the throat, was screaming at him, furious words pouring out of him. His eyes were so red, the tears falling so fast. Taro in turn, had Jiro around the neck, his own face distorted in anger. They were both screaming in Japanese and it took Haruko a moment to understand what was going on.

Jiro flung Taro away from him and Taro's small body tripped backwards into the common room. He immediately jumped to his feet. His breath was coming to him in short gasps, his face was red. He and Jiro were facing off against one another. About what Haruko had yet to find out.

"Keizoku shiteiru nani ga!"

[Taro Lawson]

Taro's mind was a blur, a haze. Jiro had been on his so quickly, screaming at him, yelling things, that Taro had no idea what was going on until he was standing finally in the common room of the house, panting for breath. Jiro was hunched in front of him, his face twisted in fury that Taro had never seen on his baby boy before.

He heard Haruko's words, but ignored them. Keeping his brother at bay was the more pressing of the two matters.

"Watashi ninaze iwa nakattaka, giji!" Jiro raged, his voice so loud, sou strained, he no longer sounded like himself. Taro held up two hands in his defense.

"Jiro shiru hitsuyou hanakatta!" Taro yelled back. Jiro grabbed two handfuls of hair, tears streaming down his face, his cheeks red, his body trembling. He looked back up at Taro complete and full hatred in his eyes.

"Totemo zouo!" Jiro screamed his fury so evident that Taro was blown away by it. Taro's own tears were clouding his vision. He couldn't see anymore. All he could do was scream more.

"Iie! Iie! Sorewo Jiro teishi shinasai!" he screamed. Jiro plunged firward catching Taro's shoulders and pushing him backwards, causing Jiro to fall back, hitting the floor so hard that the wind was knocked out of him.

"Iie Taro!" Jiro cried.

And Taro thought it was the first time Jiro had ever called him by his name. And for some reason that hurt more than any of his other words.

[Jesimae Lawson]

Jesimae gasped and jumped up when she heard the commotion that eventually fell into the living room floor. The screaming was hurting her ears, but she was at no liberty to tell them to shut up. She watched the two brothers fight like she had never seen before. Jiro looked so mad, so hurt, so...different. They were both sweating, panting, angered. She was listening to their words in Japanese, although she could not speak the language she could tell that something bad had happened and something was wrong. Apparently.

She watched the two push each other, scream, fury, anger, sadness. What the hell had happened? Just when she though things couldn't get any worse crap hits the fan. Jiro was screaming at him in a voice that was harsh and hoarse. Jesimae could only stand and watch the scene unfolding in front of them all, confused as she always was here. She glanced at Haruko who was keeping his mouth shut, she was wanting to ask him what went on, what they were saying but she sustained and allowed the fight to take its own course since it had nothing to do with her.

[Haruko Lawson]

Haruko stood in complete and utter awe of the scene playing out in front of him. He could not beleive the things his two younger siblings were saying to each other. To be as close as they were, and hate each other now so much, the change in each of them was astonishing.

For a moment, thier words blended together, but Haruko began to make out what they were saying as their screams became escalated. Jiro was yelling at Taro, asking him why he hadn't said something sooner, why he had kept it from Jiro for all this time. Taro was defending himself by yelling that it had had not been right for Jiro to know. That it was something Taro had not wanted Jiro to know.

What it was, exactly, was still left to be determined.

Jiro lunged forward at Taro, reaching for his throat again, the tears marking his face in furious crystalline trails that shimmered in the light. To avoid the attack, Taro jumped sideways, and right into Haruko, who automatically grabbed Taro around the waist, trying to secure him.

"Iie! Iie Taro-kun!" Haruko was exclaiming to him. But the sadness and rage had taken Taro as far or farther than it has carried Jiro and Taro ignored his words, launching himself towards his younger brother. Haruko realized that he and Jesimae were right in the line of fire.

Reaching back and taking Jesimae by the wrist, he pulled her over to the opposite wall, putting himself between the quarreling youngest Lawson's and Jesimae. Haruko did not know what had gone down in that room. Was not even sure he wanted to know. But something had happened. A cord had finally snapped and something had come out into the open that maybe none of them were ready for.

[Jesimae Lawson]

Jesimae frowned when she felt her arm being pulled and suddenly sandwhiched in between the wall and Haruko's back. She glanced over his shoulder to see the fighting that was going on. When sehe watched Taro grab Jiro by the neck she wanted to leave, wanted to make them stop, wanted it all to go away, wanted to know what the hell was going on. She grabbed Haruko's arm and squeezed it tightly, unable to scream at them to stop it for she knew it would only make matters worse.

"Make them stop, Haru, please!" She continued to squeeze Haruko praying to god he'd do something before Taro killed his younger brother, before one of them got hurt truly, before one of them did something that they would regret for the rest of their life. "Please! Stop it!"

[Haruko Lawson]

Haruko shook his head. He called to them in Japanese, told them to stop, yelled that they were scaring Jesimae. But they couldn't hear him, could not hear anything over the sound of their own cries, the feeling of thier own tears. Haruko looked over his shoulder at Jesimae.

"Get out of here. Let me handle them," he ordered, motioning to the door behind them. He was hoping that when she was out of the room, he could smack them both and get them to control themselves. The way they were screaming however, Haruko didn't know if they would be stopped.

[Jesimae Lawson]

Jesimae shook her head as she watched the fighting that was continuing. She wanted to scream for them to stop at the top of her lungs but she knew that it wouldn't help, especially if Haruko tried.

"Make them stop, Haruko. Please!" She moved out from underneath him and jogged to the door and opened it glancing at the fighting. She didn't want to leave, but she knew it would be for the best. "Taro, stop it!" She couldn't resist, if only he could see how stupid he was being.

[Taro Lawson]

Taro glanced behind him but could see little. His tears were clouding everything, the yells of his brother drowning out all sound. He didn't know what was up and what was down.

His chest hurt. He did not know why, but it ached, stabbing pain shooting through it, his breath rasping in his throat as he turned back to Jiro, wiping away his tears and watching his tiny brother huff and puff and yell and cry and clench his fists all at once. Taro felt horrible but he also knew he had not done anything wrong.

"You can't know what you've done, brother!" Jiro choked out, his voice so loud it hurt Taro's ears. Taro shook his head, putting a hand on his chest trying to subdue the pain. He was gasping more than he should have been, and somehwere inside of him he was frightened.

"Jiro! you have to understand! You would not have told me either, had you been in my place!" Taro rattled out, his voice loud and hoarse.

"I keep nothing from my own brother! No matter how painful the news! I tell you everything! Because I know you have the right to know! Like I do, Taro! I have the right to know! And you did not tell me and...I hate you!" Jiro screamed. He pivoted on his heal running out of the room and towards the front door, his cries echoing through the house.

"Jiro! JIRO!" Taro screamed after him, feeling the pressure buliding in his lungs. Why had this all happened? To him. To all of them. Was it really his fault? Was he at fault for everything?

[Jesimae Lawson]

Jesimae was stuck in place, she couldn't go into the room she had to witness what was unfolding in the room, even if she couldn't understand. She watched Taro scream for his brother but it was too late, her was out the door quicker than lightening unmoved by his screams. She watched Taro fearing for her life and for his own. He was breathing heavily, more so than he should have been and he was clutching his chest. She glanced at Haruko to see he was unmoving as well, watching as if this were some kind of show. Jesimae wasn't crying, but the tears were present. How Taro could scare her, how the Lawson's could scare her.

"Taro?" She said in a nasally tone, the tears causing her to stop up. "Taro, baby? Are you okay?" She moved from the door over towards him scared for his life, scared that something inside was falling apart. Was he having a heart attack? God only knew! If he was then Jesimae was lible to have one as well. She reached out and touched his shoulder.

"Taro, honey, are you okay?" He was breathing so hard. Panting, wheezing, holding his heart. What was happening to this family?

[Taro Lawson]

Taro leaned down on his knees, the burning in his lungs relentless. He was gasping, his own breath rattling in his throat. All the things that could be wrong were going through his mind like slow flashes of lightening as his oxygen deprived brain tried to race in the aftermath, only to be cut off. He screwed his eyes shut. He barely heard Jesimae, although he instantly felt emotionally better knowing she was there and not screaming at him as Jiro had been.

His head was hurting, his eyesight getting blurry. He needed oxygen and he needed it now. But how could he get it? He couldn't breathe! He couldn't do anything. All he could do was sit there and gasp and wheeze as if he were having an asthma attack. But in the back of his mind, he knew that wasn't what it was.

He had been a junkie. Two years ago. Although some might argue that it had resurfaced, he was not doing anything terribly lethal. But when he had been, he took a drug called Adamin, a Twi'leck medication that was supposed to be used as a vitamin as it contained many nutrients. However, the form he had taken was specially designed to give you a big high, very quickly. It was snorted, not swallowed, as it only came in powdered form. People who took it for very long periods of time, were known to die of Adamin Lung. Similar to the lung cancer aquired when smoking too long, except much, much worse and completely untreatable. Taro feared--but knew--that this was what was happening. Under great duress, his lungs were giving out, due to the damage the Adamin had done. He had put too much stress on them.

Turning as he gasped to look up at Jesimae, he begged her with his eyes. He needed something, anything, but he could not say what exactly. Maybe Haruko would know. Maybe if he could just get out what was wrong...

Taro tilted forward, his body weakened from lack of oxygen. He grabbed Jesimae's arm as he fell forward towards her. His sight was going in and out and he could not keep his balance. His lungs ached, his brain hurt, his body was weak. Darkness ate away at the edges of his vision. The floor was coming up to meet him. Was he going to die because of his addiction? Was it finally going to claim him as Jiro had always said it would? Was he about to prove everyone right when he had thought they were wrong?

"Adamin..."

[Jesimae Lawson]

Jesimae frowned scared out of her life. What was happening to her baby? Was he going to die right here in front of her? Was he going to die without her? She frowned as tears clouded her vision, seeing him hold his keys at her, leaning against her as she cradled him in her arms. What did he need? What could she do? What was he needing? Asking for?

"Wha?" She said confused. "Adamin? Taro, baby, what is that? What is Adamin?" She grabbed his keys and tried to make eye contact but his eyes were all over the place as was his body that was swaying in her arms.

"Taro! What is Adamin?"

[Haruko Lawson]

Haruko's jaw dropped. He knew what Taro was saying, knew what he needed. He squeezed his eyes shut. He tangled a hand in his hair then ran over to where Taro had fallen. His breathing was so labored, and his eyes were closed; he was out.

Haruko slid a hand under Taro's shoulder and one under his knees and scooped him up, his tiny body so light, Haruko felt as if he were carrying nothing at all. It made him feel like a giant. He looked down at Jesimae.

"Adamin. He took Adamin. He needs oxygen, pure oxygen. Go to my father's bedroom, there is a tank next to his bed and an clean, extra face mask under the bed in a medical kit. Bring both back to the bedroom," Haruko instructed quickly, moving otwards the door and hurrying down the hall. He went into the bedroom and gently laid his tiny brother on the bed, watching his young, attractive face twist with the pain. Haruko brushed some of Taro's hair away from his sweaty forehead and stroked his cheek. He needed Jesimae to hurry.

[Jesimae Lawson]

Jesimae almost had a heart attack when she watched him collapse to the floor in a hard thud. What the hell was going on!? She was about to be panicked but when Haruko picked him up in his large lengthy arms and began to spit orders she understood completely, although she wished she wouldn't have. Taro was doing something to himself and he now needed oxygen for it.

She was afraid to do as he had asked, she was going into the man she feared most, into his room. Taro had caused her to fear him although she wasn't about to admit this to anyone but her own mind. She nodded in agreement and bit back the pain she felt deep in her heart. She jogged to the room and suddenly she slowed her steps when she heard the man breathe, heard him living. She bit her lower lip and slowly walked into the darkness and looked around, hoping her eyes would adjust quicker than they were. She spotted the machine Haruko had been speaking of and she walked over to it and then scanned the room for the kit. But not before her eyes fell upon the dying man. She swallowed and glanced around till her eyes spotted the kit. She bent down and opened it in a hurry and found a mask that was being contained in plastic. She ripped it open and pulled it out, grabbing the tank and running out of the room, afraid the man would speak to her.

She jogged into the bedroom and handed Haruko the mask and quickly turned on the machine, hearing the air spill out. She hooked up the hose and watched Haruko check the air supply before he placed it over his head. She bit her lower lip and watched Taro, watched him slowly die on her. He looked so pale, so dead. If Taro was to die on her, there was no doubt she'd find the sharpest knife in Tattooine and jam it straight into her heart.

[Haruko Lawson]

Haruko took the oxygen mask from Jesimae and slid it over Taro face, pressing the mask to his mouth and nose, leaning down to listen and make sure he was getting enough oxygen in each breath. Taro seemed to be taking deep enough breaths and getting enough, but Haruko pressed a little on Taro's chest anyway to get him to breathe a little deeper. Now that he had oxygen, Haruko felt better. He looked over his shoulder at Jesimae.

"I don't know how much you know about him, but a couple years back, Taro was about the biggest junkie ever. He took a lot of crap, heavy stuff. Adamin was one of them. The long and short of it is, Taro took a lot of Adamin, took too much Adamin and it screwed up his lungs. Now he is paying the price. This isn't going to kill him, but it'll mess his breathing up for a little while," he said, hoping that if she was worried he was going to die, that his words would help in that department. And now that she knew he wasn't going to die, she knew to kill him when he woke up.

[Jesimae Lawson]

Jesimae frowned and stepped away from the bed as if this information hit her directly in the stomach. Junkie? She never heard this bit of tiny infomation. No. Scratch that, she had never heard that huge piece of news. Why did he never tell her? Why did he never give her the vital statistics she needed? Why....

"Oh my god..." She said putting a hand over her mout to stop her from screaming at the man on the bed. She knew it would make matters worse, but then again how could anything get any worse? This was the threshold of hell.

"He'll be okay, though, Haruko?" She glanced away to the only man she could stand at this moment in time. "He is going to live and be able to breathe regularly?"

[Haruko Lawson]

Haruko nodded at her as he watched his little brother, his breathing already beginning to show signs of returning to normal. He looked back over his shoulder at her, stepping away from the bed and nodding again.

"Yes, yes. He didn't do enough to get Adamin Lung, but he did it enough of it for long enough to erode a little of his lungs. Now that it's healed though, he just needs to stop screaming at people. Not that smoking helps," he said with a slight shrug. "But everyone who is alive does that now." He paused a moment, then glanced over at her. "Had he not told you that he was on drugs?"

[Jesimae Lawson]

Jesimae frowned and looked at Haruko, the words bothering her.

"Is he on them now, Haruko?" She wasn't sure if he meant if he had told her he used them before or if he didn't tell her that he was on them now. Either way she was paranoid for his life. If he had done them then, so be it! You couldn't change the past...but if he was on them now...

Jesimae closed her eyes and rubbed her forehead, a headache coming on strong. No one man had ever made her worry so much in all her life. The stress from it all had gotten to the point that she was honestly about to pack her bags and go home and wait for them all to return. She needed sleep, good food, calm weather, her home... her Taro. She opened her eyes and wrapped her arms around Haruko as she stared down at her baby.

"What would he do if I left, Haru?"

[Haruko Lawson]

Haruko looked down at the woman. She was worried about his little brother, as was he. As were they all. Taro was having a rough time, there was no denying that. Taro was not going to be normal until until he was away from his father, off this planet and at home. With his Jesimae. Haruko put his arms around Jesimae's shoulders and sighed.

"He would..." Haruko closed his eyes and shook his head. "He would not survive. You're what keeps this doll alive..." Haruko smiled a little. "And no. He is not on drugs now. Jiro forced him to shape up. And...I am pretty sure Taro would not do them again. They screwed him over, Jes. You don't know. Ask Jiro sometime, and he can tell you the horror stories." Haruko stopped, then he pulled away and looked down at the woman.

"If you don't do this for Taro, do it for me: don't leave. I can't imagine what would happen to this little boy if he did not have you to keep him anchored in the real world. You're his lifeline, baby. You animate his inanimate world. And if you don't stay because of that, stay for me. Stay because I could not bear to watch my little brother die."

[Jesimae Lawson]

Jesimae listened to Haruko, she watched Taro as he took in deep breaths, his eyes closed his face color finally returning after what felt like years when only it had been minutes. She wiped a few tears away, feeling the air chill her skin where the trails were left. She wasn't going to leave Taro, but she did want to leave this planet.

"I am not going anywhere, Haruko. My life resides in him. I could never leave him." She glanced up at him and sighed out. "I love him so much, if he was doing drugs now...I don't think I could bare it. My heart would break into a million pieces." She glanced over at Taro and started to cry again. She moved out of his warming touch over to where Taro laid. She bent down next to the bed and ran a hand over his head.

"My poor baby," She hiccuped in her tears as she bit her lower lip so hard she swore blood was about to be drawn. "Oh god, what can I do for you?" She leaned her chin on her right arm as her left ran through his hair. If only Taro could see how worried she was, if only he could see what this was doing to her. "What can I do, baby?" She was going to sit there and make sure he was breathing and if anything were to change then she'd be the first right on top of him breathing for him.

[Haruko Lawson]

Haruko nodded down at her. She needed some time. Even if Taro wasn't actually awake, if she talked to him now, he would hear more than she thought he might.

Turning, Haruko quietly left the room, pulling the door to and going back down the hall. He ran his hands through his hair and let out a sigh, the adrenaline from a moment before beginning to wear off, leaving the side effects of it. All he could think about now was what that fight had been about anyway. What could Taro and Jiro have to scream at each other about? What hadn't Taro shared with Jiro that would have made the boy become so angry? So revengeful?

Haruko knew Jiro now. Knew him well enough to know that the boy did not get worked up about much. He was fairly laid back about the things around him and rarely got angry enough to raise his voice at a stranger let alone at the brother that had practically raised him. Jiro loved Taro before everyone. What could have possibly made him so angry?

[Jesimae Lawson]

Jesimae heard Haruko leave but she did not turn around to see. Her eyes were fixated on the man laying still in the bed. She moved off the floor and cralwed next to him, opposite of the side where the oxygen tank and tube was. She laid next to him and rubbed his chest, crying softly as she watched him. Taro should've said something to her about his past, something about his doing drugs. She would never have thought differently of him she would only love him more for he was a fighter, he got clean. He was clean.

"Taro, baby... I'm right here beside you. I love you sweetie." She sniffed and allowed the tears to fall down her face and onto the pillow. "You did drugs, so what. Anything you did in the past, its the past, hun. I will always love you no matter what, people do things that we just don't understand... but I do. I understand that this whole thing is killing you, had killed you before." Jesimae let out a sigh as she moved her hands in soft circles, feeling his heart beat steadily.

"Stay with me, baby. Stay with me."

[Taro Lawson]

Taro heard soft words being spoken. By whom he could not exactly identify, but they made him feel calmer, brought him slowly towards reality. Who was speaking? Someone he cared for greatly. Was it his brother? No, neither of them. It was Jesimae. Taro felt a smile touch his lips, even though he was not full aware of them.

His mind's eye was slowly coming back into focus, trying to see what was before him. His chest ached, and his mind hurt, but he was alive. Of that he was absolutely certain. He was definately alive, and for that he was greatful. He could feel air coming into and going out of his lungs. That felt good. He could breathe.

As he was slowly coming to, he could hazily see something. He did not know if it was real or if it was an illusion, but he could not focus on what it was. It was just a dark form, a form that was moving closer to him, closer and closer, saying his name, telling him to come closer beckoning for him.

Taro didn't know whether he should go or stay, let Jesimae's soft words bring him to. He wanted to see who that shadowed figure was. So he moved forward, his mind a haze, Jesimae's voice slowly fading in and out, in and out. He was reaching for the shadow, reaching for the cloaked figure, wanting to see who was calling for him, who beckoned. Who wanted to speak with him so badly as to invade his dreams.

He could feel it now. He closed his hand around cloth. He didn't knwo what kind but it was cloth. He grasped it tightly and pulled, the cloak falling from the form of the person in front of him.

And what he saw almost made his heart stop.

He was looking at himself. Except, it wasn't him, it couldn't be. His eyes were sunken, his skin the leathery texture and grey color of old age taken hold. His breath was rattling in his lungs, his hair silvery and white, his body almost noexistent. He was a skeleton, and his skeleton hand slowly reached forward, grabbing his wrist, trying to take him with it.

Taro sat straight up in the bed, gasping, choking on the oxygen. He clawed at the oxygen mask, ripped it from his face, trying to get away from the image he had just seen. His eyes were screwed shut, the vision of himself as withered as his father possessing him like nothing else. He grabbed fistfuls of his hair, struggling with the breath catching in his chest.

"Iie! Iie, iie, iie! Watashi haanatato ika nai! Watashi haanatan oyou denai! Watashi kara ena sai! Watashi kara ena sai!" he cried out, his breath coming in short gasps. "Watashi kara ena sai!"

[Jesimae Lawson]

Jesimae jumped off the bed the sudden movement and screams frightening her. When she saw he wasn't truly half awake she ventured towards him, trying to ge thim to stop screaming.

"Taro!" She yelled standing above the bed grabbing his wrists trying to make him stop pulling at his hair. "Taro, baby! It's me! Look at me!" She let him go an grabbed the mask he had ripped off, Taro needed air otherwise he might fall over and die on her and she wasn't about to let that happen. "Taro, stop screaming! It's me! Taro!" She grabbed his shoulders and tried to calm him as she held the mask in one hand.

"Open your eyes, Taro! It is just a dream!" She wasn't sure if he was having a dream or if he was freaking out for she couldn't understand the words that were pouring out of his mouth. She just hoped he'd hear her and do as she asked.

[Taro Lawson]

Taro opened his eyes, his vision blurry, but the form in front of him unmistakable. He blinked several times, still struggling a little, gasping for air, shaking his head as he vision cleared and he could see the woman in front of him perfectly.

"Jes-Jesimae!" he said, leaning foward, wrapping his arms around her waist, putting his head in her chest, breathing deeply, holding her close to him. Was that a dream? Had it really been a dream? Or was it a foretelling of what he was going to become? Was he going to be just like his father, eventually allowing his hate to consume him, make him like the pile of bones that lay in the roon down the hall from him?

"Jesimae..." he whispered. "Jesimae...Jesimae...Jesimae..."

[Jesimae Lawson]

Jesimae held him tightly not ever wanting to let him go, she held onto him as if the separation was going to kill the both of them. He panted against her chest, the warmth she felt escaping his lips causing her skin to become moist.

"Taro, honey, it's okay! I'm here. It's okay." She grabbed the mask and moved back slightly and touched his chin and lifted it to his mouth. "Please, baby, put this on. You need to breathe." She placed it over his nose and leaned down and kissed his forehead.

"It's okay, baby. Breathe. You're safe with me." She held him tightly, how this whole ordeal was making him and her. She needed to hold him so tight and let him know that she was never going anywhere she wanted to make him feel safe, make him feel loved, comfort him in this hard time. "You're safe with me." She said again trying to regain her own breath.

[Taro Lawson]

Taro's head was pounding like none other. He couldn't stand the mask over his face. He pushed it away, taking a breath of the air in the room, feeling his heart beginning to slow down. His body was shaking slightly.

He slid off the bed, slowly letting go of Jesimae and stumbling towards the bathroom. His drugs were in there. Something that would calm these damn shakes. He pusehd the door open and looked in. His bag was not in there. Where was it? Where had he put it? He could not remember. He turned to Jesimae.

"Where is my bag? My duffel?"

[Jesimae Lawson]

Jesimae sat on the bed, her knees hurting from the uneven balance she had sitting on them. She held the mask he had pulled off as she looked at him, endlessly searching for something she had no clue where it was. She frowned as she panted so upset by this rollercoaster of events that unfolded. One moment he was fighting, the next dying, the next crying her name, now he was rummaging around the room like a mad man! What the hell was wrong with him!?

"Wha?" She said in a pant, shaking her head as he began to turn the whole room upside down, even at times getting violent and tossing things out of the way. "Apparently you aren't as bad off as everyone seemed, Taro!" She didn't understand what was with him and his newfound love.

"What does that bathroom have that I don't, Taro? What comforts you in there? Why can't I be the one to comfort you?" She moved off the bed, finally fed up with keeping her mouth shut, tired of being the one to watch everything at the sidelines.

"I don't know where it is, Taro. I don't know where anything is! I could care less where that damn bag is! I could care less about all the crap that has gone on here! I could care less about what you and Jiro fought about, care less about your dying bastard of a father! And...yeah...for a while I cared less about you because of the way you are acting." She threw down the mask and let out a cry that she had been holding in.

"You are not the man I love. What the hell happened to him?" Jesimae grabbed the alarm clock on the bedside table and threw it at the wall watching the pieces of technology shatter and fall to the floor. "I want my baby back!"

[Taro Lawson]

Taro watched Jesimae go into a rage. He had not seen it before, but finally, finally, someone else seemed to be seeing the situation for what it was. A hell. A living, breathing hell. Taro slammed the closet door shut, and turned towards Jesimae.

"What happened to him?" he purred. "What happened to him?" Taro could feel the anger rising in him. The hate, the fear, all the things he had supressed for so long, all the things he had thought he had control of come surging forth.

"This is the man you fell in love with, Jesimae Phoenix. This is the man that fell in love with you. This is it!" he screamed. "This is the man you chose, the man who you met after his little brother saved your life! This is the life we have Jesimae, and it's not pretty! I'm sorry that I can't give you a perfect life, I'm sorry that I am not the candy coated true love you wanted me to be, and I am sorry that you have to be here right now. I'm sorry that your expectations weren't met, but I can't do anything about this. This is the way that it is, and I can't control is anymore than you can..." he paused, taking several deep breaths, hoping to not get in the situation he had been in earlier. He shook his head.

"Do you think I like knowing you have to be here in the midst of all of this? Do you think I lay in bed at night and plot the next horrible thing I am going to put you through? Do you think I want to be here saying all of this to you?" he closed his eyes and ran a hand through his hair. "I love you Jesimae. That is never going to change. But I am going through some things that maybe you don't understand, and I don't necessarily want you to understand them..." Taro shook his head again. He turned, going into the bathroom and shutting the door, locking it behind him. He laid his forehead on the cold door.

"You don't know how sorry I am."

[Jesimae Lawson]

Jesimae wasn't going to accept this, not here, not now. She ran to the door and hit it, she was too mad to let this anger stay inside. Taro had a pair of lungs and he could use them well and she wanted to hear him scream back. Her anger wasn't being satisfied, nothing was being answered, nothing was quenching her thirst to tell Taro how pissed and sad she was.

"Get out of the bathroom, Taro! Face what you have created! This whole mess was caused by you and..." She frowned and glanced at the door. "Caused by you and this <smallfont color={hovercolor}>-Censored-</smallfont>ing bathroom! This isn't right, Taro! If you love me as much as you say you do then you'd open this door and tell me what the hell is wrong with you!" She proceeded to kick it and punch it with her hands as she screamed.

"This door...damn it!" She kicked it and let out a sigh as she dug her hands deep into her hair and slightly pulling as she tried to regain the breath and strength she had just lost by yelling at nothing, yelling at someone who probably wasn't even listening. "Taro you going in there is creating a barrier between us. This damn door is creating the barrier between us."

[Taro Lawson]

Taro didn't respond. He was too spent to respond. Too tired and too ill and too angry. Taro couldn't explain it to her. Couldn't tell her, there was no way she'd understand, no way she would be able to do anything more than what she was doing right now. Screaming and crying and yelling. There was nothing left for her to do. Taro had given her no options. And he hated himself for it.

He looked down at his arms, wondering breifly if there were razor blades in this god forsaken place anywhere. He could still see the scars from when he used to cut himself. They brought back painful memories, but it was the only time he had released any pressure on his mind, his body.

Taro sank down to the floor and curled into a ball, knowing nothing else to do in the absence of his drugs, his heart...his soulmate. Taro was facing a wall. This was it. This was going to determine the rest of his life. This was going to tell him whether he was going to live or die. Because by the end of this, one was going to be true.

[Jesimae Lawson]

Jesimae waited patiently, surprisingly, for a response and she knew she wasn't going to get one. She bit her lower lip that was quivering from the tears that poured from her eyes like a waterfall. She looked down at the floor as she touched the wall with her hands and leaned her forehead on the cold door. She sniffed as she closed her eyes and tried to breathe. She was dying, thsi whole thing was killing her and all she wanted was for Taro to hold her and just tell her that things will be back to normal once they got off that god forsaken rock they called Tattooine.

"Taro..." She said in such sadness. She slid down the door to the floor, leaning her left side against it as she pulled her knees up to her chest and leaned on the doorframe. "Please, God, just let me in for a minute. I just want to see your face." She wiped her eyes and criend softly. "Just for a second, please?"

[Taro Lawson]

Taro lifted slightly off the floor and slowly, carefully, crawled over to the door. He heard her crying, but could not do anything about them. No. He would not do anything about them. He was so pathetic, so self absorbed, so horrible, he could not even comfort the tears of the only person in the universe whom he loved more than life itself.

Taro sat next to the door, leaning his right shoulder against it and laying his head against the door, pressing his ear to it, just so he could try to hear her. He closed his eyes as tears overcame him and he could not keep them from sliding down his face any longer.

The tears fell silently onto the floor with the gentle tip, tap of all his sorrows spreading out before him like plague. He would never be able to tell her everything he wanted to tell her. He would never be able to let her see him fully. Because he scared himself. He did not want to scare her. Because without Jesimae, there was no Taro.

"I'm sorry...I'm so sorry..." he whispered, unable to say anything else.

[Jesimae Lawson]

Jesimae kept her head there against the door, she heard him move inside and for a second her stomach turned and her senses were heightened, looking at the door handle to see him open it. But no, he never did. She squeezed her eyes shut and cried more, putting her head into her knees. She sniffed and heard some low words come from the bathroom. She hugged her legs and looked up at the door wondering if he was there for she swore she heard him say something, she thought it was a sorry, but she couldn't be sure.

"Are you not going to do it? You won't let me see you?" She didn't think she ever needed something so much in her life. The sudden desire to see him, hold him, touch him, smell him, kiss him, feel everything about him.

"I won't beg, but I just want to touch you for a second and I'll leave you alone."

[Taro Lawson]

Taro reached up to the door handle, slowly unlocking it, and then moving out of the way. He pulled the door open, a little bit of light spilling into the dark bathroom from the room beyond. He looked out at Jesimae from where he was sitting in the bathroom. She looked as harried as he felt. Taro didn't know what they were going to eventually settle on doing, but all he knew was that he never wanted Jesimae to cry for him again.

Taro didn't move, simply sat there, looking down at the floor, his own tears falling without a sound from him. They just slid from his eyes and escaped to the floor like diamonds shattering over glass.

[Jesimae Lawson]

Jesimae was so happy to have heard the door unlock and to hear him and see him open the door slightly, the darkness being shattered by the light from the room. She saw his face and saw tears falling. She then began to cry for she was so upset that she had just screamed at him, let out her agression on the wrong person. She moved slightly and crawled into the bathroom where she sat in front of him and wiped his tears away and kissed his red warm cheeks where they had fallen. She found every part of his face and kissed it. She moved her hands to wrap them around his neck and hold him.

"I love you, Taro. I love you so much. If it takes you forever to tell me your problems...then I will wait." She moved and kissed him again and again. She loved him so much at that one exact moment that she swore she could not breathe or move if she didn't kiss him every second and tell him she loved him at every breath.

[Taro Lawson]

Taro could do nothing but cry. If he did not cry he would simply stop breathing. He would have no way of getting any of it out. All of this was so much for him and he did not know how to change it, how to control it. Taro was slowly losing touch with reality, and now, Jesimae was his last anchor to it.

Wrapping his arms around her, he buried his face in her neck and simply breathed. He couldn't say anything. There was nothing left to say. Or more like, there was nothing left appropriate to say, or even things Taro could say. He never thought that at any other moment in his life had he ever wanted to die than he did right then. If he accidentally overdosed and died, it would be for everyone's better, especially Jesimae's.

No matter what she said, Taro could never deserve such a person as Jesimae. He would never be what she needed, never be what she deserved. Taro had known all along--even though he had been afraid to face it--that he always had been and always would be only fit for people who wanted someone to kick around. He was only good for one thing. And that was letting people down.

Taro held Jesimae tighter. All his life, he had done nothing but. And he would continue to let everyone down. Everyone he loved, everyone he cared about in any way. He would always let them down. There was nothing he could do. That was what he was, and there was no changing that.

And Jesimae would never know how much he hated himself for doing this to her. How much he wished he could just die. If the floor swallowed him then, the world would improve.

And Jesimae could finally be happy.

[Haruko Lawson]

He went suddenly.

No one had seen it coming, had expected it to happen this way. No one had witnessed it. No one had heard anything. No one knew.

Except one person.

As Haruko ran into the room the next day, rain still pouring outside, darkness swallowing the world outside and in, the paler, the smell, the absence of breath. All of it a sign. All of it telling Haruko one thing. All of it the answer to the ongoing riddle of the week previous. The writing on the wall. This would determine everything.

"He isn't breathing, Haruko!" came the distressed, frightened cry from the room early in the morning. Haruko got up out of the bed as quickly as he could manage, throwing on jeans and pulling his hair back. He ran down the hall to the hall of his father's room. The black door was thrown wide open every light in the room turned on, the young Korean caretaker that had been there for as long as Haruko could remember bent over the skeletal form in the bed. He looked up as Haruko entered, his eyes reading fear and desperation.

"He isn't breathing! I came in and...and...Haruko?!"

But Haruko was not listening. He was staring at the small body lying in the bed. So fragile, so still, so peaceful. Haruko's eyes moved from the man, to the form bent close by him on the other side of the bed. The face was turned downwards, the hands clutching that of the old man. Haruko's heart broke. He did not need the person to look up to know who it was.

"Taro-chan..." he muttered, moving closer and kneeling by his brother. "Taro-chan? Daijoubu?"

His brother did not move. He simply sat there, limply, as if all the life had been sucked out of him. He did not even look as if he were breathing. But slowly, he turned his head over, looking up at Haruko, his eyes deep and dark and slightly red from the tears that stained his face.

"He said he loved me..." he whispered, his Japanese slightly slurred. "He said...he said that as soon as I understood that...then he could go peacefully...he..." the words slowly trailed off as Taro squeezed his eyes shut, clenching his fists. "He died right in front of me...I couldn't...I couldn't do anything..."

Haruko did not know what to say to Taro. He did not know what trauma he must be facing. He finally came to terms with his hate, faced his fears, accepted his father's love, and finally, returned it. Only to have the man die in his arms only moments later. Haruko could not grasp any of it. So he did the only thing he knew to do.

Wrapping his arms around Taro, he held him tightly, feeling his younger brother hold him close and begin to shudder with tears. He moved as close to Taro as humanly possible resting his mouth on the other man's shoulder as tears crept up his own throat. Haruko would never be able to understand what was going through Taro's mind. But all he knew, was that the younger man must have been dying. With the fight between he and his little brother, the death of thier father, and something else going on below the surface that Haruko knew nothing of, Taro must have been facing too much.

And Haruko did not know how to help. How to help anyone.

[Jesimae Lawson]

Jesimae sat on the bed, staring at the black duffel bag of Taro's. She wanted to rip it open and see what was inside, what he always wanted it for. She was having inner conflict with herself as they all stood in their father's room crying their eyes out for a man who had hated them in the beginning and grew to love them in the end.

For some reason she was angered today, so mad that she could kill someone. The urge to just go out and do it was making her hands ache to touch a blaster, a saber, a sword, a dagger, a ninja star, a flamethrower, anything that could and would cause severe torment, death, and disaster. She was so mad because he had finally died, that Taro had finally returned the love Jin'la had wanted, that he accepted the fact that people change, furious because even though the Lawson brothers had had an abusive father, they at least had a father.

It was a rainy day, the humidity was thick and suffocating, the air was stagnant, the electrical charge in the air was prevelant. Everything was making Jesimae miserable, everything she saw, smelled, touched. She wasn't exactly sure where this newfound anger came from, but she was actually accepting it, enjoying it, because she hadn't felt such a live emotion in years. Taro was so distant it was like her love wasn't even getting to him except in small pieces only to have him not return the affections she so willingly gave.

There was already a certain torment in the air, that being Jin'la's passing, but she was wanting to cause some of her own. The thing she wanted to do was get the hell off that planet, go home, and contact some old friends. The boredom she was feeling was getting to her considering the drama she was having with Taro was causing her to go insane, slowly but surely, and she was at least wanting to go crazy with guns blazzing. Literally. Taro was harboring some severe secrets from her and she felt it was only fair to have some of her own as well. Gambling wasn't doing her any justice anymore especially since she hadn't done it in months, not since she met the Lawson Brothers. Bounty Hunting was about to come back into her life and allow her to get some of the bitter hatred she had towards everything going on out of her system.

She heard noises coming from the room, she wondered what was going on, wondered how everyone was really taking it. She herself had been shocked and a little sadened, but she wasn't about to cry for him. She didn't understand herself at that moment, before she was all for Taro coming here to see his father one last time, but she was wondering if he truly deserved such a thing. Luckily, Taro had gotten over his pride and actually allowed himself to care after so many years. At least she was happy for that one.

Jesimae knew it was a bad idea, bad to ask, but she wondered when they were going to burn him to a crisp and let her get the hell out of there. Jesimae Phoenix had had enough of Tattooine, drama, and dread. When was anything exciting ever going to happen in her life aside from arguing with the one she was to be with for the rest of her life.

[Taro Lawson]

The air was dense. Taro couldn't take it anymore. He hadn't been taking it for the past week. He could sense Jesimae's anger. Could sense all of it directed towards him. And for once, he didn't give a rat's a s s. If she wanted to be angry then it was her right. And if she wanted to get off the planet, then that was her right too. There was no reason for anyone to stay that did not want to.

Taro had spent several hours after the initial shock of his father's sudden death lying completely motionless on the bed, doing nothing but smoking and thinking and crying. He was tired of doing that. He was tired of the drugs he had, he was tired of the secrets. Taro was simply tired. Jesimae was, for once, the last person he wanted to see. Because he knew he would have to tell her what he had told Jiro. Knew that he would have to tell her he had been lying. He knew if he told Jesimae, he would have to tell Haruko. And he wasn't ready for that.

Taro had found the drugs in the closet of the room he and Jesimae shared. He had taken the three bottles he recognized and gotten and empty bottle and a mixer bottle. He had shut himself in the bedroom and he had begun.

Taro had decided to mix the entire three bottles. It would give him enough for another dose should he need, or want it. The red blue and gree liquids all formed to make a sick greyish-green color that Taro was at first nervous about. But he had mixed these three drugs before and gotten high off of them before. There was no reason it would have worked then and not work now.

He filled the syringe completely full. Even without much exposure to the air, the liquid had a powerful odor. It smelled sweet. Sweet and yet somehow, bitter. But the smell did not concern Taro. He didn't care what went into his body. As long as it got him away from himself quick. Slowly, Taro touched the needle to the crook of his arm where he still saw faint, very faint, scars from when he used to shoot up on a regular basis. But this was not regular. He wasn't going to be doing this all the time.

The needle went in with a slight sting, and the drug with a rather numbing sensation. He did not know--or really, could not remember--if that was how it had felt when he had last done this, but he didn't care much. He'd mixed these drugs a thousand times. There was nothing that could go wrong.

Taro could feel the drug spread through him. It would take several moments from it to work, but it would work. Slowly, Taro laid back on the carpet, dropping the syringe and closing his eyes. The sooner this stuff kicked in, the better. He could finally have some real peace.

[Jesimae Lawson]

"He isn't answering the <smallfont color={hovercolor}>-Censored-</smallfont>ing door, Haruko." Jesimae was so numb by this point any feelings she could express came out bland and emotionless. She had used up all her internal strength to show them and whenever it came out the way it should it seemed to tire her more and more. She wasn't going to lie she was emotionally drained and weak. She was so tired and so lonely and so mad at herself for being in such a bad mood earlier. She just wished that things could have ended a bit different for them all, end on a rather happy note. But death was never happy.

Jesimae sighed and walked into the dining room where everyone had been eating, the only thing that was left from Orange and Jiro were crumbs for the two were spending a lot of time apart anymore. Add another knotch to the <smallfont color={hovercolor}>-Censored-</smallfont> stick, Jesimae thought to herself as she took a seat across from Haruko who was finishing his last bit of food.

"I don't know what to do, Haru. Taro has, I guess, lost all touch with the love he had for me." Jesimae put her head into her hands as she glanced up at him eating gracefully. At least he had been nice to her since the day they met, at least she never had to guess about his feelings for her, and at least he was able to love someone and stay in love. She grinned after that thought.

"Asher is nice." She didn't care if that had anything to do with what she had just said about Taro, it was just her emotions running away with her as they were seeming to do a lot lately. "So...do you...you know..." She leaned up actually feeling a heavy weight lift. It was at least nice to find some subject that made her feel alive again. "Love her?"

Asher had stayed a few nights and she and her brother were a blast. Although the household had been very awkward she had made the best of it, despite being completely out of her element. Asher had gone back to her home to get ready to leave the planet, which was going to be in a few days considering everyone was postpoing their leave to bury their father.

"I think she is in love with you, the way she was around you...it was a sight to see." Jesimae wanted to keep things in high spirits despite them not. At least dinner could still be pleasant and not so dreadful. After all, Jin'la was in a much better place now.

[Haruko Lawson]

Haruko had a bad feeling about why Taro was not going to the door. Maybe he was asleep, maybe he just wanted to be left alone. Maybe it was a completely innocent reason. But Haruko did not feel like it was so innocent. Haruko was sick with worry.

He looked up at Jesimae, pushing his chair out and smiling at her a little. He picked up his plate and took it to the sink where he proceeded to wash it. Thinking about Asher made him feel better. He wondered if this was how Taro felt about Jesimae. For no matter how much Jesimae thought that Taro hated her, Haruko knew it was not true. Taro had some problems, but he would never stop loving Jesimae. He glanced over his shoulder.

"Do I love her?" he repeated, looking back down into the sink as he turned the water off. Did he? He knew he felt strongly about her, but he didn't exactly know what love felt like, not real love. Not the romantic kind. Haruko could not even remember the last time he had had a crush. How was he supposed to know if he loved her?

"I dunno..." he said, turning and contemplating Jesimae. "I mean...hm. I don't know." Haruko felt like an awful person for not being as heartbroken as he wasn't for his father. But he hadn't known the man. And he had shed his tears for him, as they all had. Jiro and Taro both had locked themselves into rooms, neither wanting to see the other, Haruko was sure. But at least he and Jesimae could be normal with eachother.

[Jiro Lawson]

Jiro was sick of trying to avoid his older brother. Was tired of being angry. Jin'la was dead. They had all been sad enough for him. Jiro's mind had finally wrapped around the fact that he had two other half-brothers and that maybe Taro really had been trying to keep him safe. Maybe Jiro hadn't needed to know. Jiro was ready to act like the seventeen year old that he was, instead of the three year old he was pretending to be.

Jiro made his way down the hall, glancing back over his shoulder at the kitchen where Haruko and Jesimae were having a friendly chat. At least someone in this damn household could. Jiro advanced on the bedroom door where he knew Taro was. He pressed his ear to it, then knocked.

"Kyoudai? Iru no?" he asked. He heard nothing from inside. "Kyoudai?" Jiro knocked again a little harder. He heard very slight movement, but it quickly ceased. Jiro looked at the door then jiggled the handle. It was not locked per say, but Taro had jammed it closed somehow. Jiro pused on it. "Kyoudai, iru no?"

He heard a slight groan from the room beyond, and warning lights went off in his head. Taro did not groan like that unless he was in pain. Or unless...

"Kyoudai!" Jiro called, banging on the door. "Kyoudai! Watashi wo kyoka shinasai! Machigatte iruka?! Nani ga!" Jiro pushed his back against the door as hard as he possibly could. The door gave a moan and flung open sending Jiro toppling into the room beyond. He jumped to his feet, looking around the room. As he had somewhere in the back of his mind expected, Taro was lying almost completely motionless on the floor. His skin was sallow, his chest barely rising and falling with his shallow breaths. A spent syringe lay next to his hand. His eyes were closed, he was barely alive. Jiro put a hand on his face.

Not this. Not again. Not after everything they had gone through before, surely Taro had not resorted back to drugs. But as Jiro approached and saw the emptied bottles, the one full one with a greenish liquid in it, he knew. He got to his knees and put and ear to his mouth. Taro's breath was barely coming from him. Jiro grabbed his brother's shoulders and shook anger and tears crawling up his throat.

"Kyoudai! Naze!? Naze!?" he yelled. Wrapping his arms around Taro's waist he looked over his shoulder to the door. "Kyoudai?! Kyuusoku! Kyoudai-ro ha nanika de overdosed motte iru! Tsumeta i shawa wo hajime nasai!" he yelled, needing Haruko's help. He didn't know how long Taro had been lying there, but if someone was there to help, Jiro needed them.

[Jesimae Lawson]

Jesimae frowned when she heard the screams of Jiro coming from Taro's room. She jumped up when she watched Haruko dash out of the room into the room where they heard the commotion. She slowly walked out in a fastened pace wondering what the hell Jiro and Taro were arguing about now, but the sight her eyes laid upon was something she never expected to see.

"Taro!" She dashed into the room where Haruko and Jiro were trying to get Taro up off the floor. She felt something crush underneath her shoe and she glanced down at the floor to see something even worse than before. She frowned and felt Haruko and Jiro brush by her with Taro lying motionless in their grasp. Her eyes scanned the floor seeing syringes, bottles, blood, all everywhere sprawled out on the floor like a hospital.

"Oh my god..." She said to herself as she stood her eyes moving from one thing to another, nothing getting better. The trail was long and messy and it all led to something she definitely did not want to see. There sat the black duffel bag unzipped and turned inside out with many things piled around it. So that was why he was needing it so bad. Jesimae looked up to the bathroom where they had done something with Taro. She moved towards it seeing Jiro placing him in the bathtub screaming at Haruko and back to Taro.

"Oh my god." That was all she could say. Taro was overdosing on God knew what and all she could do was stand their motionless, tears in her eyes, confusion smothering her, and sheer terror shocking her. She leaned against the doorframe as she watched them move frantically, unable to really figure out what to do. "Taro?" She said again as she suddenly moved from one emotion to another.

"Is he dying? Haruko is he dying!?" Suddenly she was screaming at Haruko to tell her what the hell was going on, but she new there was no answer to be given. She just cried as she watched them, watched her baby move closer and closer to the goal he apparently wanted to reach. Death.

[Jiro Lawson]

Jiro turned the water on in the bathtub, turning it to completely cold. It immediately drenched him as he straddled his brother's hips, both his hands leaning on Taro's chest. He gasped for air as he watched his brother's pale face and the water pouring over it.

He heard Jesimae screaming, but he did not know what. His mind had resorted completely back to his native tongue. He was talking to his brother, yelling at him, holding his face, crying. Taro was breathing, but only just. Jiro remembered these times. Taro had only overdosed once before. But Jiro knew that it had not been a suicide attempt. He doubted this was either. But any way, Taro had in fact overdosed. On what, Jiro was unsure.

"Brother! Please! Open your eyes...talk to me, damn it!" he screamed at Taro in Japanese, his voice already going slightly hoarse. Haruko was leaned over the side, his own face slightly wet from Jiro splashing about. Jiro squeezed his eyes shut and then growled, pulling his hand back and hitting Taro as hard as he could. "Open your <smallfont color={hovercolor}>-Censored-</smallfont>ing eyes! Talk to me! Damn you!"

[Asher Perez]

Asher smiled to herself as she walked up to the apartment where Haruko had taken her for the best few days of her life. Despite the situation he had been partaking of he had been the best host one could've had. She was bringing him some food that she had made the night before, making it specifically for the Lawson family for their great hospitality. She had made her way up the stairs and to the door where she stood now, knocking.

She hummed to herself as she glanced around, tapping on the door after a few moments of no response. She frowned when she heard screaming coming from inside. What was going on? She smiled to herself again it was probably Jiro and Taro having a blast as before. She didn't want to do it, but she figured if they were inside and were being so loud they might not have heard her. She grabbed the cold handle on the door and slowly cracked it open.

"Haru?" She said out loud glancing around as she moved inside slowly and cautiously. "Haruko?" Her attention was thrown from the living room when she heard Jesimae screaming if Taro was dying. What had she walked in on? She stepped inside and sat down the bowl that had real spanish food inside, waiting to be eaten. She moved around following the screaming.

"Haruko!?" She asked turning her pace into a slight jog till she found where the screaming was coming from. Jesimae was hugging the door frame of the bathroom and inside two brothers seemingly drowning another. "What the hell?" She touched Jesimae and she turned to start telling her that Taro was dying of an overdose of some sort. Asher dashed into the bathroom where she saw Jiro slapping and screaming at Taro who was drenched in water. She didn't know why and frankly didn't care but she grabbed Jiro by the collar of his shirt and pulled him out of the tub with all her strength.

"Get off of him! That isn't going to help, Jiro!" She looked at Haruko and at Jiro who looked so shocked that she had forcefully done something like that. He could hit her and do as he must to show his disapproval but she didn't care, this was what seh did for a living, this was how she saved people. She bent down and pulled him up out of the water and tapped his face lightly.

"Taro, stay with me. Stay with me Taro!" She moved an arm around him and held him close, barely on the outside of the tub. She pushed her fingers against his skin and waited a second feeling a pulse, low and on the verge of death, but it was still a sign of being alive.

She looked up at Haruko and sighed. "Scissors, I need scissors!"

[Jiro Lawson]

Jiro did not let anyone touch his brother but himself. Reaching down, he got Asher by the collar pulling her away from his brother. He stared her down a moment before kneeling back down next to the bathtub. If Asher wanted to help, it was going to have to be with Jiro there to hold Taro for her. There would be no exchange of places.

He heard Jesimae still crying, Haruko hurrying to do as Asher said, Taro's rattling breath louder than anything else. Was he really about to lose his brother? Was he really going to have to bury the man who had been his father? The man he loved and who loved him beyond all others? Jiro could not believe that that was really going to happen. All of thier lives, all of the pain, the heartache, just to end it in tears and drug abuse.

And Jiro had not even gotten the chance to say he was sorry.

[Haruko Lawson]

Haruko moved to obey Asher, but as he did, he grabbed Jesimae's wrist on the way out, pulling her away from the bloodless, but equally gruesome scene before them. He sat her on the bed, reaching up and stroking her hair, then brushing away a streak of her tears, though soon more came to replace them.

"I want you to stay here, Jesimae," He said quickly, knowing that time was short. He needed to do as Asher said. "Taro has mixed two drugs I assume that he thought he knew. But they are highly lethal apart, only God knows what they are like together. I don't know what Asher is going to do, and I know you will want to know. But Jiro and I speak Taro's language, and I imagine we will be screaming enough by ourselves. I want you to stay out here, and don't go into the bathroom, ignore what you hear. just pray, to God, to Buddha, what have you. Just pray for my baby brother. Pray for your baby."

Haruko quickly jumped up then, running as fast as he could to the kitchen, grabbing scissors, and the ripping back across the house to the bedroom. He glanced at Jesimea as he went by, giving her a reassuring smile and nod, though deep inside, he was not feeling very secure.

The door shut and locked behind him.

[Asher Perez]

Asher had ignored Jiro's attempt to stay in control, but he had something coming. She was going to need all the space in the world if they wanted to keep him breathing and keep him alive.

"Jiro, I need you to go call for a medivac, now!" She grabbed the scissors from Haruko's hand and proceeded to cut off the shirt Taro wore. She had no idea what kind of drugs he took and this was something vital. If he had taken pills she could force him to vomit other than that...it was up to those who had the proper equipment. She glanced at him as she threw the wet shirt away from him and glanced at his nose, mouth, then his arms.

"Maldición!" Asher saw the nice fresh wounds in the crevice of his arm. So he had gone the wrong route and decided to push illness into his body. She looked up at him and suddenly panic ran through her. He looked different, looked..."Taro, no!" She grabbed him under his arm pits and pulled his limp body out of the tub, water spilling onto her and onto the floor. Whoever had that bright idea was needing to be smacked.

"Damn it, Taro!!" Asher put him flat on the floor and pushed Jiro out of the way and put her hand under his neck and lifted it back, touching his chin slightly and opening his mouth. She leaned down and quickly proceeded to give him mouth-to-mouth. She put her hands onto his cold lifeless chest and then began to pump heavily, CPR had never been so vital than at this exact moment. She panted as she did it five times before pausing to go to his mouth and blow air inside, feeling his body blow up from the input.

"Jiro! Get out of here! Go call someone! He needs to go the hospital! He is dying!"

[Jiro Lawson]

Jiro's mind was completely and totally numb. His baby had stopped breathing. Completely an totally. His heart was no longer beating. He was dead. Gasping for air as he felt his stomach turn over and jump into his throat, he felt Haruko shove him towards the door, screaming at him, eventually running past him and doing the request himself.

This was it. He did not have Taro anymore. His brother was gone, had left him alone. Had gone somewhere Jiro could not follow. Falling backwards out of the bathroom, shivering as the air hit his still wet body. He was still soaked, still dripping wet. He barely made his way to the trash can across the room as he emptied the contents of his stomach into it.

And Jiro cried. It was his defense mechanism. It was the only thing he could do in the face of great peril, or duress. Jiro curled up next to the door, balling wet hair in his fists, and he cried. He was cursing Buddha, cursing himself, cursing this damn planet. He no longer cared about anyone else in this house, in this world, in the entire universe. He no longer cared how dishonest Taro had been, how bitchy Jesimea had been to Taro. He no longer cared about anything but the fact that the only person who had ever given a damn about anything was dead on the bathroom floor, on a god forsaken planet because he could not shake the habit.

This was not right at all. And it was all Jiro's fault.

[Asher Perez]

Asher blew air into his lungs and moved back when she heard Taro groan. She watched him move his head to the side to throw up water. She was a bit happier that he was breathing againg at least, but he was still on the verge of seeing his maker. Asher ran her hands through his hair and brushed it back from his eyes. "Taro, baby, you're gonna be just fine! A medivac is on the way. You're gonna be just fine." She lifted him up seeing he was still under the heavy effect of overdosing. He wasn't with her as much as she wished but it wasn't anything she didn't expect. He was going to die soon of heart failure if they didn't hurry.

"Stay with me a little while longer, baby. Stay with me a little while longer." She tried to keep his air flow going, making sure that his heart wasn't going to stop. She was just going to monitor him simply because she didn't have the adrenaline in a needle ready to go. Only Buddha, if he so believed in him, and a doctor could save his life now.

[Taro Lawson]

Taro could barely hear. He could not hear, could not smell, could not feel, barely breathe, not see clearly. Everything was a blur. He was wet and cold of that much he was sure. He knew what had happened. He had misjudged the drugs. He had not known what they were really. He knew his brother had found him, had taken him to the bathroom. After that had been a blur.

For a moment or two, Taro had not been on this planet any longer. He had died. For two heartbeats of the people present, he was completely and utterly dead. But a voice had roused him, a voice he did not recognize, not really. It was woman, and she was talking to him, telling him he was going to be alright, that he needed to stay with her. Taro used all of his strength to open his eyes, water filling them slightly, blurring his vision. He was so numb he did not know if he was going to live. He didn't know if he was going to ever see his baby brother again, if he would ever touch Jesimae's face. Taro did not know what he had done to himself.

"Jiro-chan...iru no?" he muttered, his breath faint. He was not able to breathe properly. He felt his heart fluttering slightly. "Jiro...iru no..." he whispered.

[Asher Perez]

"Shh, shh, shh." Asher touched his face and glanced over her shoulder and roused to her feet and ran to the door and swung it open on its hinges.

"Haruko! We need to get him to a hospital! We cannot wait any longer!" She glanced over at Taro's frail existence on the floor. Any moment he could go into shock and perhaps never wake up again to even speak Jiro's name. That was not going to happen, she wasn't about to let it. Damn, if only she had her medicine bag she could've kept him stable long enough till they got him drained of the poisons he had put into his body.

"We are running out of time." She walked back over to Taro and closed her eyes and then quickly pulled them open, shocked to see his pupils were not constricting. He was on the verge of death so close it was even scaring her.

[Haruko Lawson]

Haruko was moving through his room nearing the bed, nearing his comlink. His mind was attempting to race, going through so many things, one of which being that he had not taken his medicine in hours and hours and that Mr. Lawson was taking the opportunity to whisper to him. But now was not the time.

The rounded the bed and his foot hit something. He fell forward, hitting the floor hard. Cursing up a storm, he looked down to see what he had tripped over. He saw a large black bag. What the <smallfont color={hovercolor}>-Censored-</smallfont> was that? No one here owned a black bag like that. No one but...

Asher.

Jumping to his feet with catlike precision, Haruko scooped it up and made a run for the bathroom again. He knew that Asher had the knowledge to do this and frankly, Haruko did not trust his baby brother in anyone else's hands. He paused a moment next to Jiro who was so still and so pale near to the door that he almost looked as if he was dead. But Haruko moved into the bathroom sliding a little on the water and falling down again, but landing on his knees, the water soaking through his pants quickly.

"Is not this yours?"

[Asher Perez]

Asher looked up at Haruko's face then to the bag he held in his hands. If there was a God that was the moment she truly believed in Him. Asher grabbed the bag and quickly pushed it open and saw exactly what she needed to get his heart going and to allow the overdose to take its own course and fade out through his body. Adrenaline.

Asher grabbed a large vial containing a clear liquid written in Spanish, anyone else wouldn't have known what was inside except her. She laid it on the floor and quickly dug into the black bag and grabbed the syringe that she needed to help Taro. The large glass had tiny notches on it to let her know how much she was giving him. She found a needled and ripped it out of the protective pouch and quickly twisted it onto the object, seeing the long six inch metal object shimmer under the bathroom lighting.

She picked up the vial and jabbed the needle into the covered area and tilted it upside down and pulled the plunger out and watched it fill up the glass to the notch she needed. She pulled it off and pushed on the plunger and watched a little bit squirt out. She sat it down and reached into the bag again, everything around her having disappaered for the situation had her entire attention. She found the turnicate and she grabbed his clean arm and tied it tightly around his arm, slapping the crook waiting for a vein to show. Sadly he didn't have very good ones, they were all damaged considering she could see the sheen tiny scars from the millions of pokes he had obviously given himself years ago. She shook her head nad continued to slap, seeing one come to the surface. She grabbed the needle and held his arm and stuck it inside of him, pulling back sliughtly on the plunger waiting for the blood return to let her know she had hit the vein. She nodded and pushed it in quickly, knowing it was going to sting and cause his arm to go numb for a few seconds.

Whenever it reached his heart all would be good, things would settle, and the drug would exit his system, but not without knocking him out for a few hours at least. She pulled the needle out and grabbed a smal cotton ball in her bag and pushed it over the fresh wound, glancing up at Taro's face and then to Haruko as she pulled the turnicate off and allowed his tired veins to rest. She let out a sigh as she kept her glance at the eldest brother.

"Get him to a bed, Haruko. He'll be fine." She knew she needed to check his vital statistics but she'd do that as soon as he was laying on the bed.

[Haruko Lawson]

Haruko never thought he'd been so relieved in his entire life. Getting up from the floor, the tears that had clogged his throat finally emerging, causing him to choke slightly. He moved from the floor and then to Taro, putting an arm gently under the tiny man's neck and then one under his knees, scooping him up easily. Taro was like a tiny little rag doll. He was limp, his face pale, white, reminding Haruko of the porcelain kabuki dolls his mother uased to keep set up in her room.

Tenderly, Haruko pushed the door to the bathroom open and emerged into the darkness of the room beyond, glancing from Taro's face to the face of his other brother who had sat up in the moments they had been in the bathroom. Jiro looked green. And as he walked across the room, Haruko did not doubt that Jiro probably thought he was carrying Taro's dead body. And the way Haruko was crying probably did not help things at all.

"Ji-chan...kareha yoi no akanbou itte iru..." Haruko whispered to Jiro as he made his way to the bed, gently laying the frail creature on it. Haruko sunk to his knees next to the bed. He did not know he would care for his brothers so much in such a small amount of time.

[Jiro Lawson]

Jiro felt as if he might faint when he heard Haruko whisper to him, his voice hoarse, his face tear stained. Climbing to his feet, he swayed a little, his stomach still twisting into knots. But as he looked at his tiny brother, lying helplessly on the bed, he observed the tell tale rising and falling of his chest. He was alive.

And Jiro began sobbing. He could not help it. He stumbled towards the bed, his hair and clothes sticking to him and he grabbed the edge of the bed and dropped to his knees next to his brother. His tears flowed freely down his cheeks as he stroked his brother's forehead, brushing still wet hair from his eyes. He cupped Taro's cheeks with his hands and leaned forward, lying his head on his chest, hearing the heart beat. It was slowly getting stronger.

"My baby..." he muttered. "Watashi wo nokosa nai. Watashi wo nokosa nai. Daisuki...daisuki, daisuki, daisuki..." he cried. He did not care how pathetic he looked. This was his brother, his best friend. No one would ever really understand.

[Asher Perez]

Asher sat on the floor rubbing her head trying to remember her true reason for being there, but all she could think about was how emotional that whole scene had just been. She never knew that being a practitioner would make her feel so frail and so weak for she had done it so many times before, but somehow this was different. She had just broke many rules that she swore by, family was to never help family. She wasn't technically part of the family but she knew them and that was a part of the code she had ignorantly broke. Asher knew it was for good reason anyhow and had Haruko not had found her bag then she knew Taro would not have made it to the hospital alive. She hated knowing death before everyone else, before those who wanted to know, before those who were experiencing it. She'd never tell anyone that her screaming and hope for a doctor was just that, forlorn hope. Taro was practically dead when she arrived, his mind and heart hadn't caught up to the drug yet.

Slowly she sat up on her knees and began to take apart the neede and toss it into the garbage can nearby. She threw away the wrapper and the turnicate but placed the glass syringe back inside her protective container and tossed the adrenaline away. She ran a hand again over her face, pushing back the hair that was wet from both the sweat and the water that had been splashed on her. She needed to change for she was freezing now that she realized Taro was going to live, but for how long she had no idea. As she closed the bag up she wondered how long he had been doing drugs, how long her had needed them to get away from everyone, to get high. If he didn't stop it there was no doubt he'd be dead in a year.

"Le ahorré una vez, el Taro, I mejor no tuve que hacerlo otra vez." She shook her head as she stood up and walked over to a mirror wiping away some mascara that had been smudged by water. She glanced around and grabbed a towel nearby and began to squeeze the water out of her shirt and dry off. Her visit had been most eventful, more so than she had hoped.

[Jiro Lawson]

For a few moments, Jiro merely laid helplessly next to his big brother. But as his eyes traveled over the room, they spotted the bottles, the syringe, the drugs Taro had usued to get high, the drugs that had almost killed him.

Jiro's anger flared. He crawled to his feet and stumbled over to them, getting to his knees. He gathered up the empty bottles and the bottle of liquid, what little there was left. Then he picked up the syringe, keeping his eyes off the needle, as some of Taro's blood was still there.

He slowly got to his feet and moved into the bathroom, completely ignoring Asher for the time being. He looked at himself in the mirror. He looked like death warmed over. Tears stained his cheeks, his eyes were red, his body shaking, his throat raw, his mind overloaded. He clenched his jaw, looking down at the drugs in his arms. He held up the almost empty bottle of drugs.

"Naze..." he muttered, his voice so quiet he barely heard himself. He clenched his fist around the bottle, willing it to break, willing the deadly poison to spill everywhere, to be washed away so that it could never harm Taro again. When it didn't, fury flared inside of him.

"Naze!" he screamed. Jiro pulled his arm back and hurled the bottle at the mirror. The glass on glass immediatelt shattered both. The bottle exploded, tossing bits of glass into the sink and the mirror cracked outward, the sound of glas breaking giving Jiro some sort of sadistic satisfaction. He brought all the bottles up and threw them as hard as he could at the mirror. "Naze, naze, naze! Baka! Baka, baka, baka, baka!"

He hurled the syringe into the sink and ran the water over it, putting his hands under the water and pressing down on the cheep plasticglass syringe, hoping it would break under his pressure.

"<smallfont color={hovercolor}>-Censored-</smallfont> you!" he screamed, feeling it crack slightly under his palms. "<smallfont color={hovercolor}>-Censored-</smallfont> you!" and the plastiglass shattered, small shards jabbing into his hands, lodging into the heals of his hands. Blood soon appeared in the water as the pain also gave Jiro some bit of morbid peace. He stumbled backwards and sank to the floor, staring down at the wounds on his hands. The tears blurred his vision, blurred his thinking. Blurred everything.

"I hate you, Taro..." he muttered to himself, putting his blood hands against his face. "I <smallfont color={hovercolor}>-Censored-</smallfont>ing hate you." And yet Jiro knew that was a lie.

[Asher Perez]

Asher leaned away from the breaking glass and listened to Jiro scream like a crazy man, hsi threw things, cursed in his native tongue, broke a syringe in his hand, then slowly fell to the floor with bleeding hands and crying into the palms that stained his skin with red. She frowned and lookd down at him as she slowly leaned up, lowering the towl that she held to protect herself. She glanced down at him and saw his hands, the blood runing in streams down his pale arms. She was suddenly realizing the dysfunction this family suffered.

"Jiro!" She said after a moment of regaining her breath and making sure her heart still worked. She moved to the trash can where one bottle had been. She glanced at the writing but could not decipher it. No doubt, by the smell that resonated from the bottle, it was something highly addictive and dangerous. If only she knew the names of popular underground liquids that many sold and dealt to acheive a maximum high. Sadly, she dealt with simple things that had not altered through druggies.

Asher tossed it back and glanced down at Jiro, slowly sinking to her knees to grab his hands from his face, looking at the shards of glass that stuck out of his skin. She hissed. Asher was going to allow him to have his temper tantrum, but she wasn't going to sit and watch him harm himself purposely. She looked up at him and hoped he wouldn't mind if she pulled it out and at least cleaned up the mess he created.

"Hate is a strong word, Jiro." She said to him as she let his hand go and glanced at him, rubbing his blood onto the towel that she had received on her hands. "You might hate, but it isn't your brother, it is his actions and decisions." She glanced at her black bag and sighed. "Glass can fester... mind if I get it out?"

[Jiro Lawson]

Jiro was overcome with sadness, fury, and fatigue. He looked down at his bloody hands lying limply in his lap. He shook his head slightly, looking up at Asher for a moment. He leaned forward and put his head on her shoulder, closing his eyes, his tears slowly drying up. He had cried so much for Taro, so much for his family, so much in general, he had finally cried as much as he could.

Jiro had no one. Orange? He and she had been drifting apart for much longer than either would admit to themselves. He could not go to her anymore. And he realized that, in truth, Jiro had never truly had anyone. Taro had more problems than he could deal with, and Jesimae...well, she had Taro to deal with. Jiro simply wanted to stay right where he was, forever and ever, until he could finally say that he no longer cared about anything.

"Thank you, Asher. You saved my baby. I can't...tell you how thankful I am to you...for doing something you did not have to do."

[Asher Perez]

Asher was shocked by his actions, she could've sworn by the little tiff of pushing each other out of the way that he'd dislike her forever, but yet be thankful at the same time. She smiled lowly and lifted her hands and wrapped them around his small frail form and held him as a mother would a lost child. She allowed the embrace to last as long as Jiro saw fit for she would never pull away from him, ever. She rubbed his back and tried to offer words of comfort for Lord knew he needed every piece of comfort he could receive.

"You are welcome, Amor. I will do anything for one in need so there's no need to thank me, truly, Jiro. I did what I was taught to do." She moved back slightly and cupped his face and gave him a ginger kiss on his forehead filled with all the love she had deep inside of her. If that action did anything for Jiro she prayed he'd feel the love she had for him and his situation.

[Jiro Lawson]

Jiro searched her face for a moment. And if he had had any doubts about whether or not she cared for them, they were all destroyed right then. For she gave him everything he needed to know in her face. She cared. She really, truly did. And Jiro leaned his face forward into his hand again, using the other to hold the small bag on the end of his necklace that was hidden in his shirt. His tiny Buddha statue hidden deep inside.

"Arigatou..." he muttered to his god. He did not know what else to say. There was still so much more to come to the Lawson family. Still so much they needed to say to each other, still things that needed to be healed. Even some things that needed to be broken open and remembered. And Jiro did not know how it would all go down, how anyone would react to the news he still had to break. But he did know that at least, in the midst of it all, and if all else failed, at least they all could turn to each other. Because no matter what problems, what spats, what hurts they all caused to each other, when you became part of the Lawson family, you had to learn to be able to put that aside.

Because family was greater than self. And through Asher, Jiro had learned that you did not even have to be part of the family to love them as unconditionally as any full blooded member. Asher had no ties. She could have run any moment. And yet, she did not. And Taro was not even the brother she loved. But she had still stayed, had still done all she could to help Taro. She had not made the distinction between actual family and accepted family. In a moment of real truth, she had been able to show her true colors, and Jiro did not think he had seen a rainbow so beautiful than the one she had shown them that evening.

And somehow, Asher Perez gave him a small glimmer of hope that he had been searching for the entire time they had been here. She would never know how much she had grown to mean to him.

[Asher Perez]

Asher smiled at him, noticing what a true child he was. He was wise beyond his years and that saddened her, but yet he was able to be playful and happy as they had been when they first met. She was in love with that Lawson family no more than she was in love with Roman. Although they were not as close with her as they were with each other, she knew deep in her heart that the Lawson's had a place in her heart that nobody could ever touch or replace. Jiro was clutching to something by his chest, a necklace it seemed with a thick bag wrapped around something. She looked at his bleeding hands and then up to his face. The poor boy was probably confused and out of things to say for she had been in his situations many times.

To think that Jiro was at the age of when she became a mother to her brother and she remembered cradling her cross praying for guidance and hope. She understood how he felt, she understood so much that it frightened her. Asher looked away and grabbed the towel that was stained with some blood she stood up and ran water in the sink and quickly tunred to sit in front of Jiro. She slowlyand carefully moved his hand away from his face and began to clean off the blood he had managed to cover himself in.

"If you ever need to talk to someone, and I don't mean to sound like a parent or some counselor, but if you do I will always be willing to listen to you." She dried his face off and smiled glad to see his porcelain colored skin again. She moved to his hands and plucked out the small shards of glass before wiping them down and grabbing her bag to pour peroxide over them. She watched it fizz and clean the wound and she was quick to wrap it in a clean white gauze.

"Don't take your agressions out on glass, Jiro Lawson. I don't know if I'll be around every time to help you fix them." She smiled at him as she grabbed the hand that clutched the necklace. She moved his clean hand to the necklace and switched them so he wouldn't lose touch with whatever was inside that bag. She began to work on his other hand and before she knew it Jiro was glass-free and cleaned. "At least give me a call before you do, hmmm?" She ran her hand over his head and gave him another kiss.

"Why don't you go change into some dry clothes, it'll make you feel better, amor."

[Jiro Lawson]

Jiro stared up at the cieling. He did not know what to do. It had been an hour or two since all of the drama had died down, and now he was dying of exhaustion. Yet he was too troubled to sleep. And the couch was so uncomfortable.

There was a storm raging outside. It had been going on for hours. Jiro did not know if it was ever going to stop. This must've been the only rain they got here. Jiro glanced out the window. He had not seen Haruko since his elder brother had closed the door to Taro's room and gone into his own. In fact, Jiro had seen very little of anyone.

It was getting close to the time when Jiro wanted to tell everyone what Taro had told him. He wanted everyone to hear it together. Wanted everyone to know at one time so he did not have to repeat himself. He just did not know how to approach the situation. Did not know how to tell everyone.

He figured he would just have to make it up as he went. It was what they'd all been doing from the beginning anyway.

[Jesimae Lawson]

Jesimae's eyes hurt so bad from all the crying she had done in the past little while. Todays events had just set everyone off the deep end, especially the ordeal with Taro and his drug abuse. She was so distressed by knowing that he almost died and it pained her to know that she had argued with him before it all.

Jesimae had crept into the room where he was designated to sleep, the room was dark and she could hear the storm outside mingling with his deep breathing. He looked peaceful but she swore he probably wasn't. She closed the door behind her and slowly crept to the side of the bed where she stared at him for a moment, trying to fight back the tears she felt. After a moment of gathering up her emotions she grabbed the side of the blnket that covered him and slowly slid into them and scooted next to Taro and touched his face.

"Aishiteru, Taro-kun. I told you once before I'd never leave you...I'll stay right by your side until you wake up." She was going to have patience, strength, and courage to understand that everything had its way of sorting themselves out.

[Taro Lawson]

Taro's mind was twisted in a million different directions. He had one wave going for Jiro, one for Asher, one for Haruko, one for his father, one for Jesimae, one for himself, one for his drugs, one for every little thing that had happened in the past week. It was as if his mind was trying to race when it was stuck in a pool of sludge.

Turning his head a little to make sure he was still alive, he took a deep breath, his lungs feeling very tight, very restricted. His breath wheezed in his chest, and he coughed, his body shivering from the force. Taro moaned in annoyance. He hated coughing more than anything else in this universe.

Repositioning himself, he took another deep breath and put a hand on his achign head. Groaning, he began to try every appendage to make sure all was well and working correctly.

[Jesimae Lawson]

Jesimae frowned as she opened her eyes, how long had she been sleeping? She saw and felt movement and she had stirred awake quickly, her mind so wired and awake that it was a wonder she had slept at all, but exhaustion did that to people. Taro was moving around, stirring and groaning. She quickly sat up and looked at him, afraid to touch him in case he might be in pain or simply not want to look at her for the yelling and the scene she had caused earlier.

"T...Taro? You awake, baby?" She bit her lower lip in fear, she was praying to God his body wasn't doing something unGodly but she knew that was her severe imagination taking over her britle mind. She prayed he would respond with something other than a moan to let her know he could talk and hear her just fine. God, she was worried to death about every little thing on his body. She wanted everything to be in working order.

[Taro Lawson]

Taro blew out a breath through his nose and had worked several body parts before he heard the voice. And then it was several moments before he could beat his brain back into gear and understand what exactly had been said. He pressed his hand to his achy chest before coughing again.

"Hmnnn..." he muttered, not sure what he was trying to say, but it made perfect sense in his mind. He licked his lips and tried to open his eyes, but the fatigue that was holding them down was powerful and not allowing him too. Readjusting himself again to try and find a position that was not squishing his backbone, he coughed slightly, his brain still working to translate what he was trying to say into Basic.

"Umm...awake?" he said it in the form of a question. It was as if in the fiasco he had lost his ability to communicate in anything other than Japanese. That really just...was not going to make him a happy camper.

[Jesimae Lawson]

Jesimae smiled never in her whole life had she been happier to hear him speak, even if it wasn't truly communicating. She laughed lightly as tears fogged her vision.

"Oh my baby!" She leaned over and gave him several kisses all over his face, moving back to sit on her knees and stare at him. "Can I get you anything? Do you need anything? Can I get you anything?" She knew she had repeated herself but the excitement she could not contain. If he needed water she'd bring him buckets full, if he needed food she'd slaughter the cow herself...anything he needed she'd make sure he'd have it. Her baby was alive.

[Taro Lawson]

Taro groaned at her, in the most pleasant way he could muster. He had no idea what she had just said, but it was his Jesimae, and that was all that mattered. Taro was trying to kickstart his brain, but he imagined that the drugs had made him forget most of the Basic he knew. He figured it would all come back to him eventually, he would just have to communicate in a series of grunts and whistles for awhile.

Opening his eyes slowly, he immediately got a soft throbbing in his temple. He looked over to the woman and studied her face for a moment. Maybe if she spoke more Basic to him, it would help him a little bit recover whatever information he had lost.

"Umn...Jiro-chan...um..." he searched his brain, and then figured he would immitate what she had just said; even if it did not mean anything to him, it must mean something to her. "Need...Jiro-chan?" he said, blinking at her, hoping she got it. This was going to be a difficult few hours until all his lost information returned. He did not even know where he was, or how long he had been there.

[Jesimae Lawson]

Jesimae watched him grunt at her, something was wrong. Something wasn't coming out of his mouth that was needing to. She wasn't in the mood to panic at this moment so she just did as he had requested. She nodded and gave him a kiss on the forehead and moved off the bed and jogged into the living room.

"Jiro!" She called out, not willing to search rooms. She just wanted instant gratification. "Jiro-kun! Taro needs you!" She bit her lower lip and waited for a response. He better have been there, if he wasn't she'd kill him herself.

[Jiro Lawson]

Jiro jeard Jesimae's yells and got up off of the couch where he had been trying to recover from the knots that were twisting in his stomach. He got up and jogged towards the back bedroom where he heard her calls coming from. He held onto the doorframe and stuck his head inside, looking about, thinking for two heart beats that his brother would have been lying on the floor.

But he wasn't, he was lying helplessly in the bed still, Jesimae lookig over her shoulder at him. He cocked his head a little.

"What's wrong, sis?"

[Jesimae Lawson]

Jesimae had never been so happy to see his face. She smiled happily when he came to her.

"It's your brother, he wants to see you." She glanced over her shoulder to Taro and then smiled widely. Her baby was alive and that was all that mattered to her at that exact moment. To hear him say something was like a gift of God, to see him moving again, see his color slightly coming back to his face... how much she loved him, how glad she was that everyone had been there to help him.

"I don't know what is wrong but he isn't saying much, perhaps you could find out." She moved out of his way and over to the bed where Taro sat.

[Jiro Lawson]

Jiro approached the bed cautiously, looking down at his tiny brother, who appeared as if he were feeling at least a little bit better. As he got closer, Taro's eyes focused on him, and Jiro could not help but smile at the grin Taro gave him. He reached the bed and got to his knees next to it. Taro took his hand and held it tightly. Jiro leaned down and kissed it.

"Daijoubu?" he asked quietly. Taro nodded at him a little bit. Then his eyes traveled downwards as he seemed to think. He looked back up at Jiro.

"Gomenasai. Watashi ha machigatte ita, Jiro. Watashi wo yurushi te itadake masuka?" he asked quietly, his voice slightly rough. Jiro laughed a little, unable to keep tears from glazing his eyes, blurring his vision slightly.

"Hai, kyoudai. Soreha ima juuyou denai," Jiro answered. Taro nodded a little, then looked over at Jesimae. He chewed his lip a little, before looking back to Jiro. His eyes held so much fear, so much pain. Jiro watched as Taro's eyes glistened with as yet unshed tears.

"Watashi hasorewo ima iu kotogadekinai. Shikashi i ga kanojo wo aisu rukotowo kanojo ni yorokoba shinasai, ii nasai. Kanojo ni ii nasai...watashi ga zannen no. Kanojo ni i wo...ii nasai..." Taro muttered. Jiro shook his head, looking from Taro to Jesimae and back, smiling wide, even though tears were running down his face.

"Okay, okay. Watashi ha rikai suru..." he said, then looked up at Jesimae and nodded. "He loves you. And...he wants to say he's sorry...and...he's just...he's gonna be okay, Jesimae...he's alive..." Jiro whispered, his voice unable to rise above it. He slowly sat completely down, resting his forehead on his brother's hand, the happiness, and yet sadness, overcoming him more then than any other time.

[Jesimae Lawson]

Jesimae watched the two brother's with much anticipation hoping that they were getting their sorry's out of the way and telling each other how much they loved one another. She bit her lower lip as she continued hearing them speak in Japanese. She wondered what they were saying, but knew it wasn't really the right time to ask questions, not if they were speaking in a language she did not speak. If they wanted her to know they'd tell her. She watched Jiro look at her after glancing at Jiro. She heard her nickname, konjo, several times and her heart skipped beats. Hopefully he wasn't saying something about her like how mean she was to him, how he wanted her out of the room.... paranoia setting in like none other. but if that was what Taro wanted then she'd leave until he wanted to see her again. Anything Taro wanted she was sure to give it to him, that was how much she loved him at this exact moment.

Jiro looked at her and started speaking to her and for a moment her mind didn't even feel the switch of languages, but she caught on quickly, remembering what Jiro was saying making sure not to miss a word.

"He loves you. And...he wants to say he's sorry...and...he's just...he's gonna be okay, Jesimae...he's alive... Jesimae's heart nearly stopped at the sound of Taro's voice in her head saying that to her himself. She glanced over at him as tears filled her eyes. She watched Jiro put his head on Taro's hand and she felt tears burn her eyes.

"Aishiteru, Taro." She moved over and kissed him gingerly on the cheek hoping to God she wasn't going to hurt him as he had been hurting before. She just wanted to feel him touch her again, hear him speak to her, have him look at her that was filled with such emotion that there was no way he'd ever not love her.

When she was with him her world disappeared and all she saw was him, when he spoke all she heard was his beautiful voice, when he kissed her... there wasn't anything else she could feel except the love that resonated from him. How she wanted it all to happen right then, but she knew it would take him a while for he wasn't fully healthy.

Jesimae knew that once he was healthy there would never be a passing moment when she didn't let him know how much she loved him, how she would die for him, how she would steal for him, she'd even kill for him. Obsession, maybe, but it was all brought on by love.

[Taro Lawson]

Taro smiled at her a little. He could understand what Jiro had said to her a little better than he had before, but he was still having trouble grasping his knowledge of Basic again. But when he heard her tell him she loved him in his language, Taro Lawson did not think he had ever been so happy--or felt better quicker--than he did right then.

He reached for her, stroking her cheek and running his hand through her hair. Squeezing Jiro's hand, he let go, knowing his little brother would understand. Taro took Jesimae's hands and put them to his lips, kissing them. He shook his head.

"Aishiteru..." he muttered, moving over slightly and indicating that she lay down next to him. He swallowed hard. "I love you."

[Jesimae Lawson]

Jesimae closed her eyes for a moment and her world literally was no longer in existence when she felt Taro touch her cheek softly and run his hand through her hair. How he always knew what made her feel good and made her the happiest woman on Coruscant. She was so glad to hear him breath and hear him move and just see and feel any movement his tiny body made, love this suffocating couldn't be healthy in any way, but it was good to know it was.

He took her hands and then kissed them softly and she opened her eyes to see his beautiful face, how much she wanted to just attach herself to him and never let him go, never.

"Aishiteru...I love you." Those words replayed millions of times in her head at once and her eyes water, especially when he said them in English. She sighed out and moved slightly and put her arms around him and held him tightly.

"I will never leave you...ever." She knew it was stupid to say but it was the perfect opportunity to start letting him know that he was never going to get rid of her until they both croaked. But even then she knew he'd never get rid of her. Ever. "Aishiteru." She said again, this was going to be the easiest task she ever put on herself. Taro would literally be sick of her by the end of the night.

[Taro Lawson]

Taro moved into the place he knew Buddha had set for him long before he had been born. Right next to Jesimae. He curled his body around hers and held her tightly to him, putting his face in her neck and breathing in deeply, hoping he could talk to her soon, to let her know how sorry he truly was. He knew what he had done was wrong, but he also knew, that if Jesimae did not leave him because of this, he would never have to worry about her leaving at all.

Taro also knew, that he would not be able to hold his problems on his own. As difficult as it was for him to share anything, he knew that he needed to talk to Jesimae. Let her know his problems. Instead of just pretending like she did not exist, turning to drugs, he needed to open his mouth. Learn to communicate.

But for this moment, now, it didn't matter what had happened, and what would happen. All that mattered was that she was next to him, and his baby boy was nearby, and he was alive. Taro thought, as he held Jesimae tighter now than he had ever held her, that if he could just learn to keep this feeling, stay high off of the love he felt now, then he would never need drugs again. He would never need to hurt himself, and his family ever again.

[Jesimae Lawson]

Jesimae squeezed him so tight when she felt him move against her and wrap his arms tightly around her body. This was perfect, there had never been a moment like this before in her life, the happiness, the love, the security, the safe feeling she had. No porblems could ever come between them, especially now. She was going to be there harassing him if he weren't going to tell her anything and sure he'd get mad about it, but she'd beat it out of him if he didn't learn to say something. But she didn't want to think of anything like that right now all she wanted to think that this was the best moment ever in her life, feeling her baby next to her holding her, breathing on her.

"We are going to be just fine, Taro." Jesimae whispered to him softly, squeezing him after saying so. She had never been so sure in all her life that the problems they have had in the past were just that, the future never looked brighter in her life. Sure there would be some in the future but all she could think was bring it on!

[Jiro Lawson]

Jiro was leaning against the house, a cigarette dangling from his lips. He wasn't much of a smoker, but all of the drama had caused him to search out his brother's pack and begin smoking, just to calm his nerves down. All of this was so great, and yet so dreadful at the same time. His brother was alive, the fear and the pressure had lifted. That had made the emotions ten times better. But Jiro still had to tell Haruko and Jesimae and Orange about his other brothers. And Asher too. Damn it. He kept always forgetting one person.

Staring up into the night, he heard the rumble of thunder and knew that there was going to be another storm coming down on them soon. Jiro could not decide if he should tell everyone collectively, or talk to one person one-by-one. Jiro was still a little bit torn about it all. He wanted to find the other two brothers, wanted to see them for himself. Wanted to know.

Glancing over his shoulder into the window at the side of the house, Jiro sighed out a line of smoke and flicked away his cigarette, watching streak lightening crawl across the sky on the horizon, a few moments later thunder rumbling threateningly at him.

[Asher Perez]

Asher washed her hands after she had found the right equipment to straighten up the bathroom, drainging the water in the tub, cleaning up the pieces of glass and blood, mopping the floor, cleaning the glass out of the sink, changing the garbage, and now she was done and ready to clean her hands. She looked at her appearance and frowned, her makeup having been smudged from the water. She leaned forward and wiped under her eyes and ran her hands through her hair wondering if things were normal and okay.

She turned off the water and grabbed a towel and cleaned her hands free of the water and folded it neatly and hung it back onto the ring. She turned off the light and bent down and grabbed her medical bag and headed into the living room where she looked around, where was Haruko? She at least wanted to say hello before heading on home, knowing that Taro was now in good hands with his brothers and fiancé. She also wanted to check up on him and see how he was doing, although it had been a little over 24 hours since she had last seen him.

"Haru?" She called out lowly, not wanting to wake up Taro if he was still sleeping. She moved around the couch and peered into Taro's bedroom where she saw Taro and Jesimae snuggled together, sleeping, or at least appearing to be sleeping. She smiled brightly and leaned in and grabbed the door handle and closed it, not wanting to disturb their peace and happiness for the moment. She glanced around the living room once more, wondering where Haruko was.

"Haruko?" She called out again waiting for an answer.

[Haruko Lawson]

Haruko was reclined back on his bed, one arm holding a glass of wine on his stomach, the other draped over the side, a cigarette dangling between his fingers, smoking slowly. He took a drag and let it out, crossing his legs and stretching completely out. He had been lying there for a long time, he didn't know how long. He had been dozing and smoking for an indefinate amount of time. Although it could not have been long at all.

He heard someone calling his name. He looked around a moment, then sat up on his elbows and sighed out, his brain slightly hazy for some reason. He looked to his door.

"Hai, hai. In here," he called back. Hoping they would hear him so he didn't have to scream.

[Asher Perez]

Asher looked over her shoulder to behind her a small hallway leading to where she had slept the previous night, of course he'd be in his room. She smiled and walked on back where she had heard him speak in Japanese to her, how she liked that more than anything. She slowly made her way down the hallway, tracing her fingers on the wall as she moved as if this were keeping her balance. She opened the door to his bedroom and slowly peered in where she saw him laying in such a relaxed position she was almost jealous. She smiled happily at him, her stomach doing things it shouldn't have when she saw his face.

"Hi." She said lowly, walking in and closing the door gently behind her. Asher tried to keep her stomach in one spot the butterflies finally getting to her after many hours of trying to rid herself of them. She turned and walked over to his bed and then saw he had been drinking.

"Haru..." She said lowly, glancing at the glass of wine to his face. "You know you aren't supposed to be drinking, Amor." She didn't want to sound like a mother to him but she was concerned that medications can sometimes lose their effect whenever alcohol became involved.

"Are you feeling okay?" She bit her lower lip and took a seat on teh end of the bed, glancing at his long legs all the way up to his beautiful face. She grinned at him not able to keep it contained any longer.

[Haruko Lawson]

Haruko sighed out his nose, taking another drag from his cigarette, then putting it out in the ask tray on the floor next to his bed. He sat forward a little, and drained the glass of all its contents, then held it out to her, waving it in front of her face.

"Not drinking anymore," he said. His mind was blurry, he wasn't thinking straight, he wasn't feeling like himself. He dropped the empty glass onto the floor and turned over, staring at the wall opposite to him. He didn't feel much like he normally did, and though he was trying to get himself to be normal, but he was feeling quite tired, quite cranky, and very much like being mean.

[Asher Perez]

Asher watched him take a drag off his cigarette before putting it, as well as his wine which he poured out onto the floor. No, he wasn't right. Was he taking his medication? Was he doing everything she ordered him to do?

"No, I suppose you aren't." She said back to him as she frowned. She didn't want to get into his business especially after all that had just happened, perhaps he needed to be alone. She stood up and walked out, closing the door a bit louder than she had intended but she was glad it slammed she just felt like being mean after that snotty comment.

She let out a sigh as she walked back into the living room wondering now where Jiro was. At least she could speak to someoen about something! But she didn't truly feel like it considering her head was beginning to hurt. She took a seat on the couch and wondered if she should hang around and see if Haruko was going to be all right. Suddenly she had an idea. She stood up and walked back into the bathroom where she opened the cabinet behind the mirror. She smiled when she saw the medication that she had given to Haru, she was at least going to see if he was doing well.

Asher pulled the cap open and poured them into her hand and quickly began to count. She noticed there was an appropriate amount left, but suddenly she noticed something awkward. She poured the eight caplets back into the bottle, keeping one in her hand. She looked at the gel cap and frowned seeing something very odd, the powdered medicine was not inside. She let out and aggrivated sigh but she heard Jiro walking into the house and she walked out quickly not wanting to seem like a spy. But she was glad she had. What was Haruko doing with the medication?

[Haruko Lawson]

Haruko watched as Asher left the room. He sat up coughing hard for a moment. His bionic eye closed in on the door as he watched it, as if he were waiting for the door to open back and she would come back in. When she didn't, Mr. Lawson chuckled deep in his chest. Haruko shook his head, rubbing his eyes. What was wrong with him?

Standing up and going to the door, he opened it and peered out, seeing his little brother come into the house and go into the common room. He slowly made his way out, glancing around as if he might see Asher somewhere. He did a moment later, almost running straight into her as she hurried out of the bathroom. He stopped hurriedly, so as not to run her down.

"Ohmn..." he grunted. "Sorry, Asher."

[Asher Perez]

Asher gasped as she heard him speak to her then her eyes found him. She held her chest and watched his facial expressions carefully, wondering if he was feeling the effects of not taking his medicine. Some people were known to lose blocks of time if they missed a day of medication, also causing severe problems if their other personality happened to break through, hoepfully it was just a glitch in the factory who made the medicine...damn techonolgy. She smiled at him and shook her head even though she wasn't as happy as she acted.

"No, no, it is all right sweetheart." She smiled and ran a hand down his face not really meaing to considering she hadn't shown her feelings for him this publicly.

[Haruko Lawson]

Haruko enjoyed the contact. Whatever was wrong with him did not. Without meaning to, he pulled away from her his body twisting away. He looked back over at her, his eyebrows drawn down. He was confused. Why had he just done that? He loved this woman. Cared for her above all others. Why was he acting this way. He shook his head.

"I'm...I'm sorry, Asher...I don't know what's up with me..." he said quietly. He sighed out through his nose, his bionic eye whirring slightly, and--though he could not tell--flashed blue for one milisecond.

Haruko glanced over as he saw Jiro walk up and look at them. Jiro sighed out, as if something was wrong. He nodded to Asher and Haruko before chewing his lip and sticking his hands in his pockets.

"Haru...I need to talk with you. Asher, you are welcome," he said quietly. He nodded to the common room. "I'll be in in a minute. I need to go get Jes."

Haruko nodded at him, glancing at Asher and then walking towards the common room. He needed to chill out and stop being so awful.

[Asher Perez]

Asher frowned and retracted her hand immediately when he moved away, actually jerked like her touch was poisonous. She stared at him for a good long moment wondering if it was perhaps Mr. Lawson coming through, breaking through the mental barrier they had both set up for him. Suddenly he apologized, full heartedly, but she couldn't help but feel rejected.

Then his eye... it flashed blue and her heart nearly stopped. She moved her mouth to say something but Jiro walking up to them made her not say anything. Aparently he needed to tell the family something and although she wasn't part of the family she at least would stay to hear it and check up on Haruko's behavior for lord knew she would be there to put a stop to it.

[Jiro Lawson]

Jiro waited for Haruko, Asher, and Jesimae to get comfortable. He did not think this would matter much to Jesimae, or Asher, but he knew Haruko would want to know. He knew he would have wanted to know. He leaned forward and looked at them a moment, before letting out a breath.

"I don't know how much you and Asher will care, Jesimae, but I consider you both a part of our family, and Jes you will be my sister soon. So, I thought both of you should know," he said quietly. Jiro leaned back a moment and collected his thoughts. "You all probably remember the fight my brother and I got into not so long ago. The reason for that is this: my father told me, at that time, that our mother had an affair with a young man by the name of Hasagawa. My brother knew, but at the time I was too young, I don't remember. But Haruko, Taro, and I, have two half brothers by the names of Tatsuya and Katsuya Hasagawa." Jiro stopped a moment, looking down into his lap. Then he looked back up.

"Taro found that they were on Tattooine and when my father told me, he wanted us to find them. At the time, I was a little angry. I am not sure what we are going to do about it, but I thought you would like to know. I wanted to tell you together, like the family that we are."

[Asher Perez]

Asher was confused, apparently this was a shocking piece of news? She didn't know why but she would honestly be rejoicing if she had found out about two new brother's but the fight that she apparently missed... something more must've been going on.

Suddenly a light went off in her head, she glanced at everything then looked over at Haruko.

"Hasagawa?" She frowned and put the faces with their names the new friends that Roman had made. "Haruko, those two boys at the pod races, Tatsuya and Katsuya, was that them?" She was a bit shocked in all of the universe when a bomb like that had been dropped it was amazing they had met them only hours before.

"You and I, we just met your brothers."

[Haruko Lawson]

For whatever reason, Haruko's mind went completely and blissfully blank. He was slowly shutting down, slowly retreating into the back of his mind, slowly losing his touch. His body revved to make the change from Haruko to Mr. Lawson. And there was nothing Haruko could do about it.

As if some force took a hold of him, his eyes rolled back into his head and his body convulsed slightly. His head began to pound with a pain all too familiar. His bionic eye whirred and hissed and clicked and finally, as he lost all touch with himself, went a complete, icy blue. This news had angered Mr. Lawson.

...

Mr. Lawson was finally free. Finally out. Finally able to use this body for something constructive. He had been getting tired of sitting around doing nothing. And finally, his emptying of the pill capsules had paid off. Haruko was out of the way.

The news that he had two other brothers made him mad. He had too many stupid brothers as it was. Two more did not set well with him. But now, now that he was back in control, he could get rid of the two extra nuisances, and maybe even the two that were alreayd there, although Taro had almost done away with himself, by himself.

He convulsed forward, landing on his hands and knees as his body trembled with the force of the switch. But Mr. Lawson did not mind. He rarely felt pain. Everything was numb. And now that Haruko was locked away, out of his way, he could get up and do some things he'd been wanting to do for awhile now.

Slowly, he pulled himself up, drawing his knees under him and standing up to his full height, lefting his head to look around at everyone sitting in front of him. Steam hissed from a small opening in his temple, and he grinned maniacally. He took a step forward towards Jiro who automatically reacted by moving back in his chair. Mr. Lawson love to see the fear that he struck in people. Even in such a young, strong beauty like Jiro. Laughing deep in his throat, he turned to look at the two women, Asher especially.

Mr. Lawson leaned down slightly, putting a cold hand on her cheek and brushing away some of her hair. He smiled at her, watching her intently, his bionic eye zooming in on her face, reading the expression there. He laughed through his nose.

"What a pretty thing Haru has chosen. I must say, selective breeding has done its job. Such an amazing time we will have later," he purred to her. Then he stood straight. "As for right now..." he spun around, grabbing Jiro, who had been in the middle of an attempt to thwart him. He pulled the boy close to his face. "Now, now, little one. Not to Mr. Lawson." He turned and hurled the small body across the room to hit the wall.

He looked back at the women, and indicated the door.

"You'll be good now and stay, won't you, bitch?" he asked Asher. "I have two annoying children to take care of." And with that Mr. Lawson went to the door, flinging it open and looking out at the rain that was coming down in hard sheets. Oh, the pleasure he would feel knowing that blood he would see was almost his own.

[Asher Perez]

Asher had never felt fear like that in her life, the one man she loved turning into something she had never seen before, but she knew not to be scared it was just a little speed bump that could, and would, be fixed. She jumped up and over to Jiro.

"Jiro! Jiro, are you all right, Amor?" She watched him wince in pain from the force he had been thrown at the wall. "You'll be fine, sweetheart! Come on we must go get him! If he has mechanics in his mind finding the brother's will...take no time." She forced herself to breathe even though she was still shaking from the odd occurance that had just happened. Poor Jesimae ran over a second later and looked at the two of them.

"Go! Find him! I will keep Taro occupied, he must not know of his brother's switch, he'll be torn up! I do not want him out of this house!" She jumped up and ran into the room answering Taro's questions about the loud noise. Hopefully she'd be able to keep him under control.

Asher looked at Jiro then to the door that was still wide open with rain pouring in.

"Do you have a hover craft? Do we need to get a taxi? He has immense strength I am sure so he'll be there in no time!" She lookd around and suddenly realized they had no idea where the brother's lived. "How will we find Tatsuy and Katsuya?"

[Jiro Lawson]

Jiro's head was rattled and his back hurt, but he was fine. Getting to his feet, he pounded back to the room he and Orange had been sharing. He dropped to his knees next to his black duffel bag and drug around in it a moment.

Pod racing was not something Jiro normally kept up with. However, Ren Wilcox always had. And Ren had left something with Jiro a long time ago that Jiro knew would help. It was a database of all pod suppliers and workers and mechanics. All of it updated automatically. So if there was a Tatsuya and Katsuya Hasagawa then Jiro would be able to find them and thier current location.

Going back to Asher, grabbing his trench coat on the way, he jabbed a finger towards the door.

"There should be a hover bike out there. Haruko owns one," Jiro instructed, reaching up and digging around in the pocket of Haruko's jacket that Mr. Lawson had obviously not needed. He found the key card to the bike and showed it to Asher. "Here we go." He grabbed Haruko's jacket off of the hook and tossed it to Asher. "Put it on, it'll keep you dryer. He's gotta keep that hardward dry somehow. Come on."

Jumping out of the door and into the rain, Jiro beckoned for Asher to follow. Judging from first hand experiance with Mr. Lawson, saying that he was strong was just about the understatement of the year. And that he was quick was the second. Mr. Lawson was a monster. And if it had been up to Jiro, he would pry it out of his brother for good. But as of that moment, all they could do was stop him from doing anymore harm.

[Asher Perez]

Asher bit her lower lip waiting patiently as he ran off and began digging through something in the room he slept in. When he ammerged she was relieved for he had grabbed some device as well as a trench coat. SHe held her breath for an internity until he found the key card to a hover bike that Jiro had been talking about, Haruko's hover bike. He was quick to direct her where to go and what to do she caught the coat and put it on, it nearly dragging the ground for his height, but she didn't complain it was a coat. She ran out behind him and hopped on the bike and grabbed Jiro around the waist.

"Find him before he does something he'll regret later."

[Jiro Lawson]

Jiro got on the hover bike, and slid the key card, hearing the motor rev to life, the bike lifting up slightly. He indicated that Asher get on and when she had, he adjusted the steering handles and put his foot on the gas.

As he sped, he handed the scanner back to Asher, and idicated a red button on the bottom.

"The scanner is on!" he called over the wind and pounding rain. "Hit that button! And then type in Tatsuya or Katsuya Hasagawa! It ought to give thier address and current location! If it doesn't, type in Haruko Lawson! That'll get us somewhere!"

[Asher Perez]

Asher heard the bike roar to life after he swiped the key suddenly taking off in a direction she had no idea where to. She felt the wind hit her like tiny bullets, but she didn't care she just wanted to find Haruko and those boys to make sure nothing bad happened to them. She saw Jiro turn to her on the bike and scream at her over the wind, rain, and sound of hte bike. He handed her something and she was quick to learn it would help them find the location of his brother.

She did as Jiro instructed and quickly typed in in the boys names listening to it beep as it tracked them down. Luckily it did just that.

"Jiro! Take a right up ahead and look for Imperial Suites, it is a small condominium. It says they are renting it for a few days!" She handed the device back to him and prayed they weren't too late.

[Jiro Lawson]

Jiro nodded, looking down at the small screen and the green blip upon it that told him thier location. He quickly reprogrammed it into the Japanese language and did the search again, able to understand the directions better this time.

Jiro put the scanner into a safe pocket between his knees pointing up so that he could still see the characters on the screen. He saw the turn and jerked the handlebars hard, having to dig his heal into the ground to keep them from sliding over too far and falling off.

The lifters sprayed mud up behind them as Jiro steadied the bike and continued to fly down the road, looking anxieously ahead of them waiting for Imperial Suites to come into view.

[Asher Perez]

Asher bit her lower lip as she felt the wind continously burn her face and the sting of rain cause her to go blind every so often. She saw the large estates up ahead after the sharp turn where she heard the mud flap behind them, leaving a nasty trail of mud on the hover bike. She leaned forward and slit her eyes making sure it was the building they had been looking out for. She raised her arm over his shoulder and pointed.

"There! That is it!" She yelled out to him sure he heard her for she was practically screaming in his ear. "I am sure that it is it, my brother used to live there." She prayed the boys were fine and that Haruko was some how able to keep Mr. Lawson occupied, but as they drew near she saw that a door was wide open allowing rain to flood inside. Hopefully it was not the brother's home, but in her heart she knew that it was and that Mr. Lawson was already inside doing his worst.

[Jiro Lawson]

Jiro slammed the breaks on as he saw the door open on the condos. Light was pouring onto the steps from inside. Jiro saw the door swaying in the wind, rain pounding inside. The biked skidded to a stop and Jiro jumped off looking up the long steps into the door. He could hear nothing from inside, though he wasn't sure he would hear anything over the rain and wind, thunder and lightening.

He glanced over at Asher through strands of dark, sopping hair, running in his face causing streams to slide down his jaw and neck. He licked a little of the water off his mouth and signaled that Asher be very quiet as they mounted the steps. Jiro took a step into the condo and peered inside.

They had entered into a common room. The lights were on and there was no sounds. Papers fluttered in the wind, slipping off of tables and gently rising off the floor, making a crinkling noise. The small glass table between two couches was overturned, the glass in it shattered and all over the floor. The couches appeared askew, though Jiro had no way of knowing how they had been before they went in. He breifly noted that they were tracking copious amounts of mud into the house but he ignored it. He looked back at Asher the silence making him wary.

Do you hear anything?, he mouthed to her.

[Asher Perez]

She was nearly thrown off the bike when it came to a dangerous halt. She watched the door swing and and rain blow inside. She saw nothing except Jiro flying off the bike to glare up at the long steps to the doorway. She was quick to follow, running up behind him, the coat heavy from the rain and it being drenched.

They slowly crept up the stairs and into the apartment, panting heavily as if they both had run for many miles without pausing for breath. She was nervous and afraid of what she might see or hear, which at this moment it was nothing but an eerie deathly quiet silence. The place had been ransacked leaving nothing but destruction in its wake, no doubt it had been Mr. Lawson who had done it all. She wouldn't be surprised if they were both dead by now, but she kept hope in her mind that they were both fine. She glanced around as she shivered slightly hair dripping with water, curling slightly at the ends. She glanced up to see Jiro turned to face her, whispering at her. She frowned and glanced up seeing a shadow move across the hall. Her eyes went wide and she slapped his arm, water splashing slightly.

There! She mouthed back her expression scared and alert. If Mr. Lawson had done anything to those poor boys she wasn't sure if she'd ever be able to look at Haruko the same, but the love she had inside, and had yet to let out, made her think differently for it was not truly Haruko. They slowly crept towards the hall, holding their breath praying that nothing was irreversible.

[Jiro Lawson]

Jiro's stomach was doing acrobatics in his stomach. For some reason, there was nothing in the universe at this present moment in his life that he feared more than his own brother. And he did not think there would ever be anything that frightened him more than the man that was Haruko's second face. Yet, he knew that he had two little brothers about to be killed, or already so, and his elder brother was the cause.

And no matter the fear, that was inexcusible.

Creeping towards the hall, Jiro heard nothing but the rain, and periodic rumbles of thunder outside, accompanied by wind blowing the door to and fro, a slight creeking noise coming from it. The hall way was dark and led to a stair case at the far end, but three doorways stood here. Two on thier right and one on thier left. Jiro looked to the one on thier left and saw it was cracked. He pushed it open carefully, but saw nothing when he peered inside.

Glancing back at Asher, he continued on down the hall, no sound coming from anywhere. Jiro was straining his ears to hear the tell tale whirring of gears, but he did not even hear this. Jiro turned to one of the doors on his right and reached for it.

And almost on cue, the door just in front of them splintered and a small body came hurling through it, ramming against the opposite wall, blood smearing down it. Jiro jumped back with a cry.

"Kusso!" he cried, going over to the body not moving. He did not recognize the person, but as he reached down a hand and moved hair from thier face that was amazingly unharmed except for a little blood down his jaw, he saw that the face bore an amazing resemblance to his elder brother Taro.

Dumbfounded for a moment, it took Jiro two heartbeats to look up and into the room from whence the tiny body had been flung. And the fear immediately coursed through Jiro. The room was mostly dark beyond. Flashes of lightening sounded through the window, lighting up the long catlike body standing as if a tower in the darkness, the icy blue eye lit up like flame. Another small body struggled in the grip of the monster, the person trying to gasp something out.

The pale, ghostlike face of Haruko--no Mr. Lawson--turned towards Jiro a maniacle grin on his face, showing the madness within. He chuckled an insane laugh that Jiro had never heard before, and prayed to Buddha he would never have to hear again.

"I thought you were going to be good for me, Asher. Obviously, I can't trust the Spanish bitch."

And the sound of the young boy gurgling echoed through the house as Mr. Lawson tossed his against the opposite wall with as little effort as if he were a bag of paper shreds.

[Asher Perez]

Asher screamed slightly when the tiny boy was thrown out of the door with such a hard force. No doubt this was Mr. Lawson's favorite thing to do. She ran over to the boy and touched his innocent face seeing it had been busted open, his jaw that was, bleeding profusly from the infliction caused by Haruko. She stood up and looked into the dark room where she saw the shadow, so the creature inside of Haruko, his eyes so blue and bright it almost blinded her. She heard him speak her name, followed by words that cut deep within, but she let it slide knowing that this was not the man she loved, that she was not dealing with the person whom she cared for.

She watched him throw the other young boy at the wall and she immediately gasped, shocked beyond words and fear running so deep that she could barely breathe. The things he was doing! How could he not have a tiny bit of control? But she knew Haruko was dead inside of him, the fight probably over. She was not going to see anyone die and there was to be no more bloodshed.

"Go to hell, Mr. Lawson." She said to him as she stepped into the darkened room right beside of Jiro. "You are coming home." She didn't think he'd listen considering he could probably see and smell the fear that resonated off of her like a cloud of smoke. She glanced at Jiro wondering what the hell they were going to do. She simply walked by and ran over to the boy on the ground.

"Papi, come on, wake up." She touched him and saw he was unconscious. "Damn you!" She screamed at Harko, AKA Mr. Lawson. How dare he do that to his own, his brother for crying out loud!

[Haruko Lawson]

Mr. Lawson laughed heartily. This was the most fun he had had in ages. Not even killing was as much fun as torturing. And this woman was an absolutely humor filled. She was trying to exude power and courage, but his bionic eye was reading her vital signs like a book and he could see her heart rate going out the roof, the adrenaline, the pure fear coursing through her very veins. Oh, how Mr. Lawson would enjoy taking the delicate, innocent Spanish flower to his ship and taking all of that from her. Raping her of her innocence, her willpower. Mr. Lawson could almost taste her sweat now.

And what made it better was that Haruko would suffer beyond everything because of what he would do to Asher Perez. And if there was something Mr. Lawson wanted more than to simply spread fear and pain, it was to kill Haruko Lawson. His weak other half. The half of him that had thought he was in control. The half that was begging for him to stop, his words falling on more than deaf ears.

"Oh, my dear!" Mr. Lawson cried, lightening flashing over his slender body, shimmering with the rain from the outside. His hair clung to his face in black, evil strands, his blue eye blazing out at them like a laser through them. "My dear Asher! How can you go to hell when you're already in it?!"

And taking a crouch, like a bob cat ready to spring, he leapt forward, tackling Jiro, the small body collapsing underneath him easily, but not taking long for the younger Lawson to fight back. Mr. Lawson would shed blood this night. He would see Jiro's blood, the twins' blood...but most of all, he would see Asher's blood. See it smeared across his body, across his mouth, his hands, like a perverse cloak warm and sensual and glowing.

And Mr. Lawson would enjoy every moment of it.

[Asher Perez]

Asher heard him and all she could was sit and stare with wide eyes, stuck to her place because of fear and sheer hate for the man that was slowly killing Haruko. She felt tears crawl up her throat unabele to grasp any other emotion than sheer fear and terror that caused such terrifying tears and feeling. She wanted him to die, wanted Haruko to lock up Mr. Lawson for all eternity and if they made it out alive she'd do everything in his power to keep it that way. He was underestimating her ability to fight and strive on with such horrifying fear.

Suddenly she watched Haruko's body tackle the little boy standing nearby, both falling to the floor in a hard thud she glanced at the boy she had been trying to wake, but he was still out cold. She bit her lower lip knowing she couldn't just sit there with such paralyzing fear, watching Jiro get hurt. She didn't care she just pushed it aside and allowed her love for Haruko to keep her going. To see him again would be enough motivation to get up off the floor and help Jiro.

"Don't touch him, you bastard!" She ran over to him and jumped on his back and pulled his hair, fighting like the woman she honestly was, feeling the back arch and the power surge through his bones and muscles like a poisonous surge. "GET OFF OF HIM!" She pulled harder praying this would so some kind of justice.

[Haruko Lawson]

Mr. Lawson immediately turned his attention the nuisance that had attacked his back. He threw Jiro away from him and stood fully up dragging the woman up with him, roaring animalistically reaching over behind him, his hands grabbing one of her arms and the other snatching her collar. He pulled at her, his bionic eyes swiviling about as if it could see through the back of his head.

Mr. Lawson roared again ripping at the woman on his back and finally tearing her off of him, throwing her to the floor, feeling pain shoot through his neck from where she had jerked it backwards. He stared down at her and purred his annoyance as he felt a trickle of blood make its way down his face. He licked the blood off of his lip as it made its way there.

"Oh the pain that has earned you dirty whore," he purred menacingly, stepping back away from her to wipe the blood off of his face. If she thought she was frightened now, she could not fathom the fear she would feel when chained and gagged to his bed.

[Asher Perez]

Asher grabbed her head immediately the hard force at which he tossed her over his shoulder. She opened her eyes to see him licking the blood off of him sadistically, as if this were something that turned him on, which it wouldn't have surprised her if it did. She clenched her jaw and hissed as she moved slightly, getting to her feet enjoying the way he was talking to her for it somehow made the fear go away and turn into sheer hate.

She ran at him and straddle him and punched him, punched someone for the first time in her life, and of all people the one person she never would have expected to hit.

"Kiss my <smallfont color={hovercolor}>-Censored-</smallfont>!" She felt a sudden power over him, if only for a second, by no means was he probably expecting her to jump at him willingly. She didn't care she just wanted Haruko back in control, some control at least. Just to see his eyes flicker would give her good satisfaction that this was not all in vain and that she wasn't hitting him just to hit.

"Give me back Haruko, you <smallfont color={hovercolor}>-Censored-</smallfont>!"

[Haruko Lawson]

Mr. Lawson wrapped his long arms around her waist and ripped her from him throwing her down again, gearing back his leg and kicking her full force in the chest. He laughed maniacally, as he aimed and kicked again.

"Kiss your <smallfont color={hovercolor}>-Censored-</smallfont>? I'd love to, dear! As for giving you back Haruko, I am afraid he is otherwise engaged at that moment!" he cried at her, jumping back away from her, landing in a crouch, winded. He was breathing heavily, his bionic eye working overtime to keep his eye on every person inhabiting the apartment on his radar. The twins were so far still out, Jiro was working on nursing a sprained, maybe broken wrist, and Asher...well, she was simply here, doing what he assumed was what women did when they got into fights.

"You're a pretty one. And when you're angry, my, my. I can only imagine the fun Haruko has had with you. His thirst in unquenchable when it comes to his women. I am surprised he hasn't hurt you..." Mr. Lawson muttered lazily to her, his eyes traveling over her body, growling like an angry mongrel. "And if he hasn't, then by God, I will."

[Asher Perez]

Asher coughed in pain never in her life feeling like her heart had been crushed within her. She felt the tears of pain spring to her eyes and burn. She grabbed her chest and put her hand there, rolling onto her side for a moment, trying to get the pain to subside. It would be a mircale if he didn't crack her sternum. She glanced at him, hair plastered to her face.

"<smallfont color={hovercolor}>-Censored-</smallfont> you. You won't touch me." She was beginning to have her doubts. If Haruko didn't do something she'd be in for the worst torture of her life. She could only imagine what Mr. Lawson could do to her, especially if he was already thinking about it. She looked over at Jiro wanting to honestly know how this was going to end, at this rate she was ready to give up and take the boys and leave, have someone kill Mr. Lawson for good because mere pills and hope wasn't going to cut it.

She stood up after a moment and looked at him, she could give it one more try. She walked over to him and punched him in the jaw, never feeling so liberated in all her life. She straddled him and grabbed his face hard with all the strength she could muster.

"You are worthless," She searched his face for a moment how she just wanted to see Haruko and hear him again. Know for sure that he was still in there. "I love Haruko far too much to let you touch me."

[Haruko Lawson]

And from deep within, Haruko Lawson knew that the magic words had been spoken by someone, somehow. Because the simple mention that someone loved Haruko undid Mr. Lawson. He hated it more than anything else.

Mr. Lawson cried out, writhing underneath the woman, his body twisting up, his hands clasping his hands over his head, the pain resonating throughout his skull, concentrating on his metallic skull. Mr. Lawson tried to fight back, but his bionic eye hissed and cracked, wires popping, steam hissing in an angry steam from his temple.

"Get off me, bitch!" he screamed, but his strength was slowly being drained by Haruko, who had no desire to hurt Asher. Mr. Lawson arched his back upwards as he slowly retreated, Haruko emerging forth. The icy blue eye flashed white, grey, half blue, half brown, and finally, returned to the normal deep hazel color that Haruko normally wore.

Haruko gasped, blood seeping down his throat, choking him slightly. He curled underneath Asher turning over on his side, choking out the blood and trembling as he did so. Slowly, as his bionic eye hissed, popped, crackled and finally went offline, and turned grey, he looked at Asher, giving her the weakest smile known to mankind, but the most sincere he had given anyone.

"I...love you too, Asher..." and without a word, his world went dark and condensed to himself and no one else as oblivion overtook him.

[Asher Perez]

Asher stood looking at him, leaning back slightly letting her hands fall as she watched the horrible change, his body whirring nad making noises that should not have come from a human. She saw steam rise and suddenly wries came out as if she had just busted a robot with a bat. She bit her lower lip wondering how this was affecting Haruko, she prayed it hurt, but wasn't going to leave severe damage to him. She moved like she were on a mechanical bull she moved and jerked with him and when she saw he was going to try and toss her off she was almost ready, but he retreated. Finally! FINALLY! Haruko was coming back to her!

She watched his eye change colors until it finally settled back to his normal color that she longed to see. She was wanting to let out a sigh of relief but she knew it was too soon to tell, Mr. Lawson could never be underestimated. Ever. The human body was a magnificent thing and she had learned to never trust it so she was treating this situation the same.

Asher jumped when she heard him gasp as if he were coming back to life, although in a way he was. She watched him curl on his side and suddenly cough up large wads of blood, his body shaking so bad that she was almost scared to even be on top of him. She heard the eye hissing again and suddenly she watched it crack, she jumped afraid that his mechanics inside were ruined. When he looked at her she was holding her chest and breath her eyes so large that they could've popped out of her own skull. Was it him? Was it Haruko? Then there was a burst of light through the clouds, a smile that was so weak yet so sincere it made her heart sing.

"I...love you too, Asher..." His words were low and slightly coarse, but they were words that could have only come from Haruko Lawson Himself. She smiled back never expecting that to actually come out of his mouth at such an odd time. How happy she was. How interesting this all had been. His eyes rolled in the back of his head and his body went limp. She knew it was normal to have people faint due to the body short circuting and causing chunks of missed time. She sighed out and touched his face, never in her life so happy for something to be over.

She moved off of him, her body hurting, but she pushed it aside to look at Jiro. "Amor, are you all right?" She saw him holding his arm, she prayed it was just a strain. Before she could say or do anything else she heard slight movement coming from the corner, one of the boys trying to come to.

She ran over to him and squatted down touching his face and lifting his head. "Are you all right, dear?"

[Miranda Tarkin]

Thread is now closed. I have seen numerous times when the swear filter has been circumvented. That is not allowed at swfans at all. All parties PM me first and I will then reopen it to allow for editing.

edit - due to going over this entire thread, it shall remain closed because there are numerous violations. You may start a new thread without swearing.

Considering this your first warning.