Time to poke at California...

[AmazonBabe]

People always poke at the rednecks and Texans and what have you. Well, it's high time another group of people got poked at: the Californians! And being one, I'll be the first to poke at myself.

Besides... I can't have California outdone by all the redneck, hillbilly, and Texan jokes. :)

So... you know you're from California if.......................

1. Your co-worker has 8 body piercings and none are visible.
2. You make over $300,000 and still can't afford a house,
3. You take a bus and are shocked at two people carrying on a conversation in English,
4. Your child's 3rd-grade teacher has purple hair, a nose ring, and is named Breeze,
5. You can't remember ... is pot illegal?
6. You've been to a baby shower that has two mothers and a sperm donor.
7. You have a very strong opinion about where your coffee beans are grown, and you can taste the difference between Columbian and French Roast
8. You can't remember ... is pot illegal?
9. A really great parking space can totally move you to tears,
10. A low speed police pursuit will interrupt ANY TV broadcast,
11. Gas costs $1.00 per gallon more than anywhere else in the U.S,
12. A man gets on the bus in full leather regalia and crotchless chaps, and you don't even notice,
13. Unlike back home, the guy at 8:30 am at Starbucks' wearing the baseball cap and sunglasses who looks like George Clooney really IS George Clooney,
14. Your car insurance costs as much as your house payment,
15. Your hairdresser is straight, your plumber is gay, the woman who delivers your mail is into S & M, and your Mary Kay rep is a guy in drag.
16. You can't remember ... is pot illegal?
17. It's barely sprinkling rain and there's a report on every news
station: "STORM WATCH"
18. You have to leave the big company meeting early because Billy Blanks himself is teaching the 4:00 pm Tae Bo class,
19. You pass an elementary school playground and the children are all busy with their cells or pagers,
20. It's barely sprinkling rain outside, so you leave for work an hour early to avoid all the weather-related accidents
21. Hey!!!! Is pot illegal????
22. Both you AND your dog have therapists

. . . and lastly,

23. The Terminator is your governor.

[Charley]

24. The only firearm you can legally own is the kind that shoots rubber bands.

[Khendon Sevon]

You know you’re from Jersey when… (taken from multiple sources)

· You've been seriously injured at Action Park.
· You know that the only people who call it "Joisey" are from New York (usually The Bronx) or Texas.
· You don't think of citrus when people mention "The Oranges."
· You know that it's called "Great Adventure," not "Six Flags."
· You've eaten at a diner, when you were stoned or drunk, at 3 am.
· Whenever you park, there's a Camaro within three spots of you.
· You know what a "jug handle" is.
· You know that there are no "beaches" in new Jersey - there's "The Shore," and you know that the road to the shore is "The Parkway" not "The Garden State Highway."
· Even your school cafeteria made good Italian subs, and, you call it a "sub" not a "submarine sandwich" or worse yet, a "hoagy" or a "hero."
· You know how to properly negotiate a Circle.
· You knew that the last question had to do with driving.
· You know that "Acme" is an actual store, not just a Warner Bros creation.
· You know that this is the only "New..." state that doesn't require "New" to identify it (like, try ...Mexico, ...York, ...Hampshire (doesn't work, does it?).
· You know how to translate this conversation: "Jeet yet?" "No, Jew?"
· You only go to New York City for day trips, and you only call it "The City."
· You know that a "White Castle" is the name of BOTH a fast food chain AND a fast food sandwich.
· You don't think "What exit" (do you live near?) is very funny.
· The Jets-Giants game has started fights at your school or local bar.
· You live within 20 minutes of at least three different malls.
· You refer to all highways and interstates by their numbers.
· Every year, you had at least one kid in your class named Tony.
· You know where every "clip" shown in the Sopranos opening credits is.
· You have a favorite Atlantic City casino.
· You don't understand why there aren't more 24-hour diners elsewhere in the country.
· You always went to the Franklin Institute when you were a kid.
· You know where to get the best bagel.
· You think South Jersey is a different state
· You say "porta reeko" instead of puerto rico, as it should be pronounced.
· You don't even care when you leave your door unlocked.
· You go to another state and sit at a gas station wondering when the people will come out to pump your gas.

[Lilaena De'Ville]

Altered slightly for Oregon :p:

Originally posted by Khendon Sevon
· You know that there are no "beaches" in Oregon - there's "The Coast."
· You refer to all highways and interstates by their numbers.
· You go to another state and sit at a gas station wondering when the people will come out to pump your gas. The last one is especially true. :p

[AmazonBabe]

Originally posted by Charley
24. The only firearm you can legally own is the kind that shoots rubber bands.

How could they have missed that from the list???

[Phantom]

24. The only firearm you can legally own is the kind that shoots rubber bands.

lmao No kidding. Bastards. Our only saving grace is that Nevada is so close.

Actually you can only get the rubber band firearms if they're pre-ban, the state just banned them 3 days go along with water and nerf dart guns, because they both have the word "gun" in it which people find offensive.

[Khendon Sevon]

heh, what about "paint markers" (paintball guns)

Everyone in NJ loves running around the woods shooting eachother... generally with paintball guns, but sometimes with hunting rifles or arrows.

Maybe those are deers?

[Nayala Palain]

AB that just freking rocked!

Phantom answer me this... is pot illegal?

Like you care.....

To quote Phantom

" Yes please...." We talk to much on the phone you know this right?


As for the paintball guns... You can have them but unloaded until you are on a feild or game regulated area.

BASTARDS!!!!!

[Morgan Evanar]

I will never forgive New Jersey for it's horrible damned turnpike. I would make one about Florida but it would be boring.

[Demon-Kieran]

Makin' fun of California. How dare you! :D

[Phantom]

Phantom answer me this... is pot illegal?

Why would I know? I don't do drugs, drugs are bad Mkay.

[AmazonBabe]

Originally posted by Demon-Kieran
Makin' fun of California. How dare you! :D

How dare I? Cause I live here, that's how I dare! :p

[Anbira Hicchoru]

Originally posted by Demon-Kieran
Makin' fun of California. How dare you! :D

Because its a silly silly place.

[Kieran Devaneaux]

Oh. Well, in that case..... :D

[Khendon Sevon]

50% of New Jersey is paved over, the rest... we call that "South Jersey"













Kidding... South Jersey is paved, too.