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View Full Version : The Triumvirate of Ultimate Evil Strikes Again!!



Loklorien s'Ilancy
Dec 11th, 2004, 07:31:43 AM
The Triumvirate of Ultimate Evil is an extremely secretive organization that has taken up residence within my home, and being the patriotic American that I am, I have taken it upon myself to infiltrate their organization of terror. Too many times I have had to replace broken and destroyed possessions of mine, as well as pick up dislodged items that had mysteriously found their ways from shelf to floor. Why, the other day I got home from work to find that the enirety of my house had been TP'ed - ON THE INSIDE. Needless to say it was time to become strategic in my dealings with these menaces, and so I grabbed my trusty webcam and headed off to expose these creatures of mayhem. An easy task? Not so much. As the cord only extends so far, I couldn't exactly Solid Snake it into the bedroom to snap sufficient evidence of the culprits hanging from the curtains or trying to dig their way into my underwear drawer with the vicious intent of spreading my unmentionables all about. Nor could I gain entrance to their hallowed domain - the kitchen, to get shots of them dismembering toy soldiers and hiding out under the kitchen sink.

Thusly, I opted for the next best option.

In a moment of sheer brilliance, I decided to sit on the living room floor and begin to draw. Now, as any owner of the diabolical feline beast knows, cats are invariably drawn to paper in the hopes of laying across its' entire surface. And mine are no different. Needless to say, my plan worked perfectly, as all three dropped whatever article of clothing, roll of TP, or poor LT. Dan they had clenched in their little evil teeth and immediately converged upon my position in a well timed three-pronged attack. Success!!

http://s93860457.onlinehome.us/Triumvirate%20of%20Ultimate%20Evil/catpile.jpg


Now, I must stress that this plan to lure them from their agendas of terror was a dangerous one, and so I stress that only trained professionals attempt such a thing. Carefully, I procurred another image of them blissfully lounging atop my sketchpad.


http://s93860457.onlinehome.us/Triumvirate%20of%20Ultimate%20Evil/catpile2.jpg

At this point in time, I feel it necessary to provide details on who The Triumvirate of Ultimate Evil consists of. This is not some villain's yacht club, I will tell you now. You won't be finding Breetai, Myotismon, or any other lackluster villain here; no sir. No, in this line-up we have from left to right: Cobra Commander, Mum-Ra, and Skeletor. Perhaps the most pragmatic of the three, Cobra Commander once led a failed attack with Mum-Ra against Skeletor. Of course, when Skeletor looked upon the charging duo, Cobra Commander issued the order to retreat, and both fled to the depths of their kitchen hide-out with Skeletor closing on their heels.


http://s93860457.onlinehome.us/Triumvirate%20of%20Ultimate%20Evil/stealthystealthy.jpg

Well, it was time to up the ante, and so I decided to get closer to this slumbering pile of dastardly furriness. Here we have Mum-Ra, oblivious to the camera as it exposes her for what she really is. Unlike her namesake, she does not in fact have the immortal and maniacle laugh of her predecessor. Though, what she lacks in noise she more than makes up for in sheer deviousness. Don't let her fuzzy exterior lure you into any sense of false securities. The moment you reach out to pet her, this once lovable ball of love will quickly flop to the ground, roll onto her back, and grab your hand with lightning fast paws and pull it towards her toothy maw of pointies.


http://s93860457.onlinehome.us/Triumvirate%20of%20Ultimate%20Evil/spotted.jpg

And I've been spotted!! Oh Cobra Commander, you sly devil, you! At this point in time, I decided it was time to fall back. Hopefully nothing would come of this breach in my stealth abilities, but one can never be too hopefull with this bunch. As I soon found out.


http://s93860457.onlinehome.us/Triumvirate%20of%20Ultimate%20Evil/everthepragmatist.jpg

Cobra Commander is no simpleton, as she was quick to let me know. I watched helplessly, only able to snap evidence of her doings, while she went to work on the source of her and her partners' exposure - the cable to the webcam. Of course, who could expect any less from the leader of Cobra?


Well, my computer desk was summarily invaded as a result of my photographic transgressions. The quiet yet deadly machine of tooth and claw, Mum-Ra, took on the task of distracting me with her poof-ball cuteness. This of course allowed her comrades to move into position... Working in conjunction with Mum-Ra, Cobra Commander took up residence upon my monitor, ready to strike. Skeletor joined Cobra Commander soon after, obsiously in an attempt to flush me out. After all, two against one always wins, right guys? However, Skeletor's plan was rather ill-concieved, as he happened to be right on the edge of my monitor.

I stared at the two monsters before me, draped over the edge of my monitor with very apparent looks of victory in their eyes. Of course, that victory was rather shortlived, as I watched Skeletor begin to slip. And by the time he'd realized he was sliding, it was too late. He had no traction, and consequently went down; sending the phone to the floor, and my beer flying first into my lap, then onto the carpet.

Lucky for me I have just the weapon to counteract such a devious move:

http://s93860457.onlinehome.us/Triumvirate%20of%20Ultimate%20Evil/thankgod.jpg



His pride was of course damaged, and so Skeletor padded off to go sulk, but not before reminding me that he controlled my sketchbook.

http://s93860457.onlinehome.us/Triumvirate%20of%20Ultimate%20Evil/sulking.jpg



For now that is all I can offer, as all three have retreated to the bedroom to gain some much-needed rest. After all, they need all the energy they can gather for their next assault. Until then, I await with baited breath and one big dose of trepidation.

Lilaena De'Ville
Dec 11th, 2004, 10:01:33 AM
LOL!

darn those villians! Good luck s'Il. :)

Jarek T'chort
Dec 11th, 2004, 01:50:04 PM
Napalm will be most effective against their fur BDU's. Good luck!

Naj Arilov
Dec 11th, 2004, 07:59:56 PM
I should bring in Agent Bear.

Loklorien s'Ilancy
Dec 11th, 2004, 10:43:32 PM
Agent Bear would be a most welcome addition to the cause. As for napalm, oh if only I was so lucky as to have a stash. Luckily I have some chewy treats, so I figure that should work just as well in my attempts to keep them in line :uhoh

Rhea Kaylen
Dec 12th, 2004, 01:09:32 AM
*dies laughing* You are brilliant, s'Il.

I sympathize with your desperate plight. My own homeland was long ago invaded and seized in the iron grip of similar tyrants. Their militaristic raids rarely let up as they continue to exert their dominance over our lives and willpowers, though in my case they most often strike at night, when one is safe in bed and believes oneself out of the reach of such demonic cruelty.

I feel it appropriate to now observe a moment of silence for the fallen toy soldiers and plastic penny-trolls, casualties in this our war against the cat world.

J'ktal Anajii
Dec 12th, 2004, 01:15:55 AM
Ha! The Triumvirate of Evil is powerless against that rock of bravery and courage that is Edgrr!

(If you know my cat, you know precisely how to respond to that.)

Shawn
Dec 12th, 2004, 01:20:53 AM
You know what works even better than drawing paper? A suitcase. I break out a suitcase and suddenly I have two cats sleeping in it. They can't resist it.

Loklorien s'Ilancy
Dec 12th, 2004, 01:22:38 AM
Thanks :) Glad you liked it. I'm planning an update which will have better photos and possibly video, so that should be happening within a few weeks once I get the time.

My cats are worse than children, I kid you not. I can clean up all their plastic army men and tanks, putting them into the little army man toy box, and not two minutes later I'll walk back into the kitchen and the box will be turned over, and plastic soldiers will be once again scattered all over the kitchen floor like they'd all steped on landmines. Or got roughed up by giant cat-monsters.

Another thing they do is play hockey. Full contact hockey. Between the hours of 2 am and 4 am. Usually this doesn't bother me cause I'm at work during those hours, but when the weekend rolls around, it's usually not fun to wake up because you just had a cat checked full force into your face >_<

Dalamar DeSang
Feb 26th, 2006, 11:49:02 AM
Bump where's our update..Or has everyone been silenced... Conspiracy theories abound..

Khendon Sevon
Feb 26th, 2006, 01:28:15 PM
I never read this before. It's brilliant!

And I want an update!

Natia Telcontar
Feb 26th, 2006, 03:36:10 PM
It is absolutely brilliant. Makes me happy to know that my two conspirators don't get along enough to cause massive damage.

Loklorien s'Ilancy
Feb 28th, 2006, 09:06:02 AM
Ha, I'd forgotten about this.

I actually did get some video captures with my webcam, but the filesize was much too large and I don't have Premiere on my computer.

I'll think of an update to type out this afternoon though :)