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LifeOnCampus
Dec 10th, 2004, 05:03:50 PM
7 inches

A man entered his favourite restaurant and sat at his regular table. After looking around, he noticed a gorgeous woman sitting at a table nearby, all alone.

He motioned the waiter over and asked him to send their most expensive bottle of Merlot over to the woman, knowing that if she accepted the bottle, she would be his.

The waiter took the Merlot to the woman and said, "This is from the gentleman seated over there," indicating the sender. She regarded the wine coolly for a second, not looking at the man, and decided to send a reply note to the man.

The waiter, who was lingering for a response took the note from her and conveyed it to the gentleman. The note read:
"For me to accept this bottle, you need to have a Mercedes in your garage, a million dollars in the bank, and 7 inches in your pants."

After reading the note, the man decided to compose one of his own in return. He folded the note, handed it to the waiter and instructed him to return this to the woman.

It read: "For your information, I have a Ferrari Maranello, a BMW Z8, a Mercedes CL600 and a Porsche Turbo in my garage. There is over twenty million dollars in my bank account. But, not even for a woman as beautiful as you would I cut three inches off. Just send the bottle back."

Atreyu
Jan 30th, 2009, 08:28:55 PM
Force Power: Thread Necromancy

Hahaha I like! :eee :lol

January 30, 2009: A date that shall live in infamy - when Atreyu, Jedi Master, was accused of committing the heinous act of destroying Coruscant :cry

Loklorien s'Ilancy
Jan 30th, 2009, 08:40:15 PM
Holy toledo. You win the thread dredgery of the century award :p

TheHolo.Net
Jan 30th, 2009, 08:42:21 PM
I could/should run a SQL query to bury this again......

Loklorien s'Ilancy
Jan 30th, 2009, 08:43:51 PM
I TRIPLE DOG DARE you

TheHolo.Net
Jan 30th, 2009, 08:45:15 PM
I'm kinda drunk and SQL queries are dangerous.

<i>starts putting it together</i>

Loklorien s'Ilancy
Jan 30th, 2009, 08:47:29 PM
No good came come of this. You're such a nerd, doing such things whilst drunk.







... says the wino who is currently almost done with her first bottle

Atreyu
Jan 30th, 2009, 08:48:27 PM
We're dooooooooooooooooooomed :uhoh

January 30, 2009: A date that shall live in infamy - when Atreyu, Jedi Master, was accused of committing the heinous act of destroying Coruscant :cry

TheHolo.Net
Jan 30th, 2009, 08:49:24 PM
UPDATE thread WHERE threadid='295892' SET lastpost='FUCKING NEVER'

Loklorien s'Ilancy
Jan 30th, 2009, 08:52:49 PM
Now see, you tease me with such words. Like some heartless beast you tease me. And you know what? I like it. I LIKE it. I beg for it and plead, and you simply skewer my desires so exquisitely. You're like some grotesque and macabre playwrite who delights in tormenting his actors upon the stage he has set.

You're the last true artist.

TheHolo.Net
Jan 30th, 2009, 08:53:36 PM
<i>Spoooge</i>

Loklorien s'Ilancy
Jan 30th, 2009, 08:57:14 PM
I wasn't done showering you with praises yet :(

TheHolo.Net
Jan 30th, 2009, 08:58:05 PM
I'm a preemie, can't help it... ^_^;

Darth Turbogeek
Jan 30th, 2009, 08:58:19 PM
Hey S'il, I could always shower you with baby goo :D

Loklorien s'Ilancy
Jan 30th, 2009, 09:01:53 PM
Staying power, man. Staying power.

And I shower with water like normal people. Now, I'm not adverse to sharing however...

TheHolo.Net
Jan 30th, 2009, 09:04:32 PM
Maybe in ten minutes I can go again.

Darth Turbogeek
Jan 30th, 2009, 09:06:34 PM
Maybe in ten minutes I can go again.

Pfffft. Use the Force you old fart. It's the best thing since Viagra

Loklorien s'Ilancy
Jan 30th, 2009, 09:06:48 PM
Just enought ime to pour another glass of wine!


edit - I hear luvetra is what the cool kids are using these days

Darth Turbogeek
Jan 30th, 2009, 09:08:48 PM
Just enought ime to pour another glass of wine!


edit - I hear luvetra is what the cool kids are using these days

I use Denise Milani. One look at those boobies and I'm good to go.

TheHolo.Net
Jan 30th, 2009, 09:09:37 PM
Just enought ime to pour another glass of wine!


edit - I hear luvetra is what the cool kids are using these days

I use Denise Milani. One look at those boobies and I'm good to go.And here I thought you were a few months older than me. :o

Loklorien s'Ilancy
Jan 30th, 2009, 09:10:37 PM
What is it about ta-tas and men???

Darth Turbogeek
Jan 30th, 2009, 09:11:59 PM
What is it about ta-tas and men???

Oh no, not any ta-ta's. A BODACIOUS set of ta-ta's :D

TheHolo.Net
Jan 30th, 2009, 09:13:41 PM
Thats right! He's single and I'm still married.

Loklorien s'Ilancy
Jan 30th, 2009, 09:14:13 PM
is there such a thing as a boob too big?

Ilias Nytrau
Jan 30th, 2009, 09:14:48 PM
Only if you have three.

TheHolo.Net
Jan 30th, 2009, 09:15:10 PM
is there such a thing as a boob too big?Liam &nbsp; &nbsp;

Loklorien s'Ilancy
Jan 30th, 2009, 09:18:28 PM
Oh you witty man!

TheHolo.Net
Jan 30th, 2009, 09:19:26 PM
Encouragement

Darth Turbogeek
Jan 30th, 2009, 09:22:15 PM
is there such a thing as a boob too big?


Chelsea Charms.

YUCK

Liam Jinn
Jan 30th, 2009, 09:23:03 PM
is there such a thing as a boob too big?Liam &nbsp; &nbsp;

I don't know how I was dragged into this... (Haha, I just thought about a giant bra, but that's not helping) I'm no Boob. Boobs. Bewb? I had a cat that said Bewwwwb once.

Why did you drag me into this?

Ilias Nytrau
Jan 30th, 2009, 09:24:27 PM
is there such a thing as a boob too big?Liam

I don't know how I was dragged into this... (Haha, I just thought about a giant bra, but that's not helping) I'm no Boob. Boobs. Bewb? I had a cat that said Bewwwwb once.

Why did you drag me into this?

Lies! Lies and fabrications! He comes willingly. :lol

TheHolo.Net
Jan 30th, 2009, 09:24:45 PM
is there such a thing as a boob too big?Liam &nbsp; &nbsp;

I don't know how I was dragged into this... (Haha, I just thought about a giant bra, but that's not helping) I'm no Boob. Boobs. Bewb? I had a cat that said Bewwwwb once.

Why did you drag me into this?You were a Jedi, I was a Sith. Need I say more?

TheHolo.Net
Jan 30th, 2009, 09:25:25 PM
is there such a thing as a boob too big?Liam

I don't know how I was dragged into this... (Haha, I just thought about a giant bra, but that's not helping) I'm no Boob. Boobs. Bewb? I had a cat that said Bewwwwb once.

Why did you drag me into this?

Lies! Lies and fabrications! He comes willingly. :lolYes, I agree. :lol

Loklorien s'Ilancy
Jan 30th, 2009, 09:25:50 PM
Well yeah. I like to think that I offer at least something. I mean, it's so hard to do the right thing these days, what with how fickle our society is; not to mention litigation happy. It's always good to encourage rather than discourage.

That and listening to Lords of Acid - pussy doesn't help AT ALL

Atreyu
Jan 30th, 2009, 09:26:15 PM
...

Isn't anyone going to comment on the OP's joke? :(

January 30, 2009: A date that shall live in infamy - when Atreyu, Jedi Master, was accused of committing the heinous act of destroying Coruscant :cry

Loklorien s'Ilancy
Jan 30th, 2009, 09:27:34 PM
the current conversation is FAR more stimulating :)

Liam Jinn
Jan 30th, 2009, 09:28:15 PM
Funny Joke. :)

And I may come willingly, but getting me to leave willingly is a different story.

TheHolo.Net
Jan 30th, 2009, 09:28:34 PM
the current conversation is FAR more stimulating :)Ohh baby.... I'm almost ready again.

Loklorien s'Ilancy
Jan 30th, 2009, 09:29:22 PM
That's what I like to hear.

TheHolo.Net
Jan 30th, 2009, 09:31:51 PM
Slower, slower, slower

Loklorien s'Ilancy
Jan 30th, 2009, 09:34:27 PM
that's a good boy *pat pat*

TheHolo.Net
Jan 30th, 2009, 09:38:42 PM
No! No! No! No touching yet!

Liam Jinn
Jan 30th, 2009, 09:41:31 PM
No! No! No! No touching yet!

The stiffy med hasn't kicked in yet?

Loklorien s'Ilancy
Jan 30th, 2009, 09:43:28 PM
What the... but touching is half the fun!

TheHolo.Net
Jan 30th, 2009, 09:47:09 PM
Thoroughly hijacked!!! <img src=http://meras.org/forum/images/smilies/smash.gif>

Loklorien s'Ilancy
Jan 30th, 2009, 10:00:02 PM
Ahhhh, the euphoric afterglow of a successful hijacking *bask*

TheHolo.Net
Jan 30th, 2009, 10:06:15 PM
<i>as is typical</i>

:zzz

Loklorien s'Ilancy
Jan 30th, 2009, 10:07:41 PM
I'm not afraid to admit that that course of action is my normal M.O.

Darth Turbogeek
Jan 30th, 2009, 10:33:48 PM
Geez we aint had a decent tread wreck in a loooooong time!

Morgan Evanar
Jan 30th, 2009, 10:53:53 PM
is there such a thing as a boob too big?Yes.

Darth Turbogeek
Jan 30th, 2009, 10:56:17 PM
is there such a thing as a boob too big?Yes.

Ah yes, I think we will have to have a scientific survey to see if this is indeed true. Do we have a volunteer to begin with?

Loklorien s'Ilancy
Jan 30th, 2009, 10:58:44 PM
I'm not allowed :(

Wei Wu Wei
Jan 30th, 2009, 10:59:03 PM
If it's only one boob, then yes. That just looks weird. Both boobs of the same size, and I'm not sure they can get too big.

Darth Turbogeek
Jan 30th, 2009, 11:01:00 PM
I'm not allowed :(

That's okay, we'll get Charley to check them out for us. And give them a goooooood feel for firmness and perkyness

Loklorien s'Ilancy
Jan 30th, 2009, 11:09:12 PM
Oh I'm sure he'll be happy to oblige :p

Wei Wu Wei
Jan 30th, 2009, 11:15:44 PM
Who doesn't like B:):)BS

Charley
Jan 30th, 2009, 11:17:50 PM
Not to be all white knight and shit, but she is my wife guys.

Darth Turbogeek
Jan 30th, 2009, 11:20:14 PM
Not to be all white knight and shit, but she is my wife guys.

So why do you think we asked for YOU to do the boob testing on her?

Morgan Evanar
Jan 30th, 2009, 11:21:15 PM
Not to be all white knight and shit, but she is my wife guys.
That's polite for "Mark, stop being an ass."

Charley
Jan 30th, 2009, 11:21:38 PM
That's not publically-traded information. Trade secret y'know.

Besides, that's how I say hello.

Darth Turbogeek
Jan 30th, 2009, 11:23:18 PM
Not to be all white knight and shit, but she is my wife guys.
That's polite for "Mark, stop being an ass."

You know I dont respond to polite. I do respond to :twak

Loklorien s'Ilancy
Jan 30th, 2009, 11:24:28 PM
Denise Milani

Darth Turbogeek
Jan 30th, 2009, 11:29:08 PM
Denise Milani


Excuse me, I have clue juice that needs removing. BRB

Lilaena De'Ville
Jan 31st, 2009, 02:40:27 AM
O_o I leave for one evening and LOOK AT THIS MESS!

*checks under shoe* What the hell?!

Wyl Staedtler
Jan 31st, 2009, 03:01:35 AM
Kids these days, Holly. They're just wild. I blame MTV.

Lilaena De'Ville
Jan 31st, 2009, 03:15:22 AM
Me too. You'd never have this sort of lewdness on the radio.

Darth Turbogeek
Jan 31st, 2009, 04:09:33 AM
Me too. You'd never have this sort of lewdness on the radio.

You never listened to Groucho Marx in What's My Line or Peter Sellers in The Goon Show or........

Darven
Jan 31st, 2009, 05:59:29 AM
Okay, next time something like this goes down - someone bloody well wake me!!!

TheHolo.Net
Jan 31st, 2009, 06:11:17 AM
Sorry Charlie, only meant as harmless humor while in a drunk stupor. ^_^;

Dasquian Belargic
Jan 31st, 2009, 07:02:53 AM
...this thread has BLOWN MY MIND.

Pierce Tondry
Jan 31st, 2009, 08:56:37 AM
Hey guys whats going on in this threa WHOA WHOA WHOA SHITS GONE CRAAAAZY

General Dan
Jan 31st, 2009, 09:34:30 AM
Sorry Charlie, only meant as harmless humor while in a drunk stupor. ^_^;

I knew you guys weren't being serious, it was just straying a bit weird.

Loklorien s'Ilancy
Jan 31st, 2009, 09:40:04 AM
Wow. I haven't seen a thread explode like that in aaaages O_O

Dasquian Belargic
Jan 31st, 2009, 09:42:36 AM
Just goes to show, we've still got the madness in us.

Loklorien s'Ilancy
Jan 31st, 2009, 09:44:20 AM
Yup. Magic ingredient is alcohol it seems.

Banner Laverick
Jan 31st, 2009, 09:52:16 AM
And no swear filter.

More than a handful is too much boob. The rest is a damn waste. :P


E - more than a handful is a must on guys though, and I'm not talking about man-boobs. XD

Morgan Evanar
Jan 31st, 2009, 11:00:52 AM
And no swear filter.

More than a handful is too much boob. The rest is a damn waste. :P


E - more than a handful is a most on guys though, and I'm not talking about man-boobs. XDI have big hands. :)

Captain Untouchable
Jan 31st, 2009, 11:24:48 AM
I never got why you get DD and FF as cup sizes, but no doubles of B, C, or whatever. Was it some Welsh guy that came up with it, or something?

Xavier Synik
Jan 31st, 2009, 12:08:17 PM
I never got why you get DD and FF as cup sizes, but no doubles of B, C, or whatever. Was it some Welsh guy that came up with it, or something?

Probably... more then that... Probably a Welsh guy with a stutter...

Lilaena De'Ville
Jan 31st, 2009, 01:00:31 PM
Yup. Magic ingredient is alcohol it seems.

The magic ingredient is... Ogre! :eee